Something: The Story of Sasha McCartney
by Fearlessheart19
Summary: In 1957, after her parents' divorce, Sasha McCartney, moves to her half-brother Paul's hometown of Liverpool, England. There she meets a rebellious teenage John Lennon, but things get complicated when the band decides to go to Hamburg to pursue their music. A few years later, she finds love in an old friend, and John's jealously forces them all into a full-fledged love triangle…
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

**Author's Note: Hello! Welcome to my original fanfic called 'Something'. I've taken the time to go through and edit the original version one chapter at a time, so that the story is the best that it can be for any new readers. I just have had so many new ideas for this storyline pop into my head since I lived in England last year and traveled to Liverpool. I had to rewrite this story with my ideas in because I love the ideas, I've grown as a writer, and I love this storyline already, so why not make it better? The original story will stay up for now, but I might take it down soon. Thank you for all of your support! I hope you guys like it! Below is the full summary:**

 ** _In 1957, after her parents' divorce, Sasha McCartney, a teenage girl with a dream to become a famous musician, moves to her half-brother Paul's hometown of Liverpool, England. There she meets a rebellious teenage John Lennon, but things get complicated when the band decides to go to Hamburg to pursue their music. A few years later, she finds love in an old friend, and John's jealously forces them all into a full-fledged love triangle…_**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 1: Prologue**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **December 8, 1980, 11:45 p.m., New York City, New York**

It's been thirty minutes and twenty seven seconds since they pronounced him…dead. Even though I've been here in the darkness of New York's West 72nd street for that long, I still feel numb, unable to move.

I was sitting with my legs under me on the pavement that was damp from a rain shower that happened earlier. I stared ahead at the building. Police tape was blocking the entrance, but inside I could see his blood staining the floor. I could see his round glasses, also covered in blood, laying on the second step, and I wanted so much to go up and touch them, but I still couldn't move. A memory of him smiling at me, his hazel eyes shining through the round frames that he once swore he would never wear, flashed in my mind surrounded by the dozen others that were repeating themselves over and over. When someone this close to you disappears, unable to return, moments with them flood your mind, but not the good ones, the bad ones. Regret is all I feel when these complicated memories push themselves to the front of my mind. What would have happened? Where would I be right now if I had done things differently with him? Would he still be alive?

The blue lights from the police cars lit up the night. I looked down to the pavement and touched it softly. He had walked here before…

"Ma'am. You should go home now," I heard someone say softly above me.

I looked up through teary eyes at the police officer with his hand outstretched. I grabbed his warm hand with my cold one and stood up.

"Thanks," I say, walking closer to the building.

"No problem," he says before walking to his police cruiser and getting in.

He stays there, probably waiting for me to leave.

I looked at his blood inside the building, wishing I could get a hold of the man that did this to him. The police had already taken that man to the prison, but I found myself wishing that he would come back and shoot me four times in the back like he did to… I didn't want to think about it. All that consumed me were all the times that I regretted with him. The times I did not speak up, and the times that I should have told him how sorry I was that things turned out the way they did between us. I knew he loved me. I've known for a while.

John was in love with me until the moment he died. I believe it, even though sometimes John Lennon was too stubborn to admit it.

Was I in love with him all those years? Most of the time I was, but there are some points in the last twenty three years that I wasn't in love with him. In fact, there were some points where I hated him. I regret those times. He was lost, and I ran. I left him like everyone else had done.

I felt more tears run down my cheek as I was frozen in this spot. I missed him. I missed him so much. It wasn't fair. Someone like him didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve to be taken away so quickly, so painfully.

I just wanted to go see him one last time.

The pain of his death overcame me like a flood. I began shaking with sobs, and an indescribable amount of heat started to consume my body. My eyes began to roll back, and before I hit the pavement, I heard the police officers' footsteps running toward me.

I awoke in the hospital a few hours later, right where I wanted to be. The sun wasn't up yet, this was the perfect chance.

I turned my head toward the door to find a familiar face.

I exhaled, "Paul."

"What do you think you're doing?" His Scouse accent hung on his words heavily.

"What?"

"Fainting by his apartment, just so you could end up here. I know what you're thinking, and I would like to take you," he said coming closer, "I loved him too, you know."

Paul was my half-brother, but our experiences had made us as close as if we had grown together since early childhood. Most of the time we knew exactly what the other was thinking, and this was a prime example.

He grabbed my arm to help me out of the hospital bed and led me to the door. Before leaving the room, he looked both ways as if crossing a street. We walked down the bright hallways of the hospital and took the elevator to one of the bottom floors. We walked up to a big grey door, this was it.

The morgue.

Paul opened the door for me and stayed in the hallway.

"You're not coming with me?" I asked him quietly.

He sighed, "Sasha, you know me. I can't be around those bodies, especially his."

I shrugged and walked in the room that was slightly colder than the hallway. Steel cubbyholes lined the walls, but there were a few gurneys in the middle of the room. I walked past each of them until I found the one that had a tag that read, "December 8."

He was covered up with a white sheet, but I could still see the outline of his body. I hesitated before pulling the sheet down. There he was, his eyes closed, blood and scratches staining his face. I had pulled the sheet down to his stomach, his bare skin was freezing and white as snow. There were two holes in his left shoulder and two on the left side of his chest. They were covered with flesh colored bandages, but I knew the holes were there.

Some of his light auburn hair had fallen in his face, I brushed it away. I found his stiff hand and held it in mine. After all these years, I knew had a memorized his face, his body, his features, and the way his soft hands would caress me, but I held his hand so tightly and I stared at his all too familiar face. I was afraid. I was afraid that I would forget all of those things with time.

"John," I whispered.

"I love you," I said a bit louder, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

The pain was too much now. I broke down in tears, lying my head down on his cold, hard chest. How I wish it move up and down with the steady rhythm of his breathing. This thought reminded me of the way we would sleep together, my head on his chest listening to his heartbeat as he held me so close to him.

"John, do you remember when I first met you?"

"Do remember downstairs in Paul's house? You asked me if I liked Buddy Holly," I let a laugh escape through my trembling lips.

"Remember our first date? Do you remember, John?!"

I let my sobs consume me, "I'm sorry for everything I ever did to you. I'm just sorry. You hurt me back then. I didn't want you back because I was afraid you'd hurt me again. But I don't care about that anymore. That was so long ago. I just… I want you back right now! I don't want you to be gone. Please come back. Please."

"John," I said, "Remember? Do you remember our first kiss? I do."

"Please come back. Please. I need you. Do you remember all those times? John! Please answer me! Do you remember?"

I felt Paul grab me and take me away from him. This would be the last time I saw him.

I yelled before Paul took me out of the room, "John! No!"

Paul shut the door behind us and grabbed me by my shoulders to face him, "Sasha. Calm down. He's gone. He's not coming back."

Paul held me in his arms, and just for a second, I let myself believe that it was John.

 **Author's Note: If you're new, then thank you for starting this story. If you're an old reader starting from the beginning again, then you get an extra special thank you for being so loyal. I hope you liked the addition of detail and the changes I made.**

 **Comment and tell me what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2: The Beginning

**Author's Note: New and improved edited version of the story. Thank you!**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 2: The Beginning **

**February 20, 1940, New York City, New York**

Glen Miller's swinging big band tune of "In the Mood" added to the commotion of the popular restaurant situated on Hudson Bay. The beautiful full moon illuminated the water, giving it a sparkle, and made New York City's famous skyline almost eerie looking with the shadows that it cast. Sailors chatted away with their friends and businessmen flirted with the waitresses.

One of the waitresses was busy taking orders and running drinks and food to the many hungry men chatting and laughing loudly. Her name was Charlotte Vandy, one of the daughters of the successful husband and wife banking duo. Charlotte had been born to her educated parents with a silver spoon in her mouth. At nineteen years old, she was supposed to be at college getting the secondary education that her mother and father always pushed her to get. They simply wanted her to be as successful and wealthy as they were and carry on the family business. Charlotte had other plans. She wanted to be like Judy Garland and the other great actresses of her day. She dreamed of captivating the audiences that traveled from all over the world to watch spectacular shows on the famous Broadway streets. A man summoned her over to his table. He was sitting alone and had just arrived. He wanted to place his drink order, and decided to ask the prettiest waitress there.

Jim McCartney, a cotton salesman from Liverpool, England, had been sent over to the great city of New York by his company. He was now going to be receiving the sold cotton from Liverpool and directing it to the different shipping companies stationed in the lively city.

"Can I get you someone to drink?" Charlotte flashed her white teeth at him. He was certainly handsome, and she was making sure to turn on the charm.

"Rum and coke please," He stated simply. She noticed his accent. It was nice, but different than any accent she had heard before.

She scurried away from his table and waited for the bartender to make the man's drink. He was her first priority at the moment.

She sat the drink down on the table, "May I ask where you're from?"

He looked up into her blue eyes with his green ones, "Liverpool. In England."

"Lovely. You'll love New York. I'll be back you get your food order, I've got some other customers waiting," she began to walk away.

"Say," she heard the man start to say, "What time do you get off?"

She grinned, "11:30. Why?"

"It's my first night in New York, and I have an extra ticket for the theater. I was wondering if maybe you like to join me?"

She smiled at him. "I'd love to."

That was the beginning, the beginning of young Charlotte's love affair with the charming Brit. They were together until the leaves began to change in the fall. They had lit up the summer with their love and painted the town red. Charlotte had known that this day would be coming. Jim was called back to Liverpool with his company, leaving the now twenty year old girl alone. She cried by the window of the airport, watching plane fly off into the chilled autumn air. She had known it was going to end, but not this soon. Jim McCartney was her first love, and they had decided to remain friends and write letters to each other from across the Atlantic.

Within weeks, Charlotte was writing to Jim for the first time, to tell him that his child was growing inside of her young body.

 **June 5, 1941, New York City, New York**

Charlotte's older sister Eileen had taken her in when she had been told that her younger sister was expecting, and the man the child belonged to couldn't return to take of her, but he would be sending some money as he earned it.

Charlotte stared into the bright blue eyes of her baby girl. The beautiful baby was born on a sunny day in the middle April when the flowers that had hid for the winter came out to dazzle once again. Her name was Sasha.

Charlotte had to go though, leaving her baby with Eileen while she went to work. She excited for the evening because she had set up a date with a factory owner named Bill James, who she liked quite a lot

 **September 1950, Nashville, TN**

Charlotte was married to Bill before Sasha turned one. She had written to Jim and told him the news. He had responded with the news that he had been married also to a woman named Mary, and they were expecting their first son. Every once and awhile Charlotte would pick up a pen and write letters to Sasha's father, who she had yet to know about. Sasha believed that Bill was her father, and Charlotte was perfectly okay with that. Bill wanted to tell Sasha, however, so they were waiting until she was eighteen to tell her.

Bill had been promoted to CEO of the factory that he had been at for years, but the family had to move to Nashville. Bill didn't mind because he was from just south of Nashville. Charlotte liked the idea of new places.

Nine-year-old Sasha ran from her room upstairs to the front door at the sound of Bill's car pulling up the long drive to their country ranch equipped with horses and a wrap-around porch. It was a beautiful place to raise a family, Charlotte thought.

"Daddy!" The blue-eyed little girl wrapped her arms around Bill.

Bill chuckled and tasseled her hair, "I've got you a surprise."

He carried a big box to the living room as Sasha closely followed him. Charlotte emerged from the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron.

Bill opened the box to reveal a shiny guitar. Sasha gasped along with her mother.

"It's a guitar. You always like when I play, so I figured you'd like it if I taught you a few things," Bill said looking at his young daughter, who was admiring the new instrument.

Sasha hugged Bill again, "I love it!"

Charlotte smiled, "Hopefully you'll be as good on that as you are on the piano."

Charlotte and Bill had instilled their love of music in Sasha, who had been taking piano lessons since the age of four.

Sasha took the guitar out of the box and strummed each string individually, smiling at the sound they made.

 **April 13, 1957, Nashville, TN**

Sasha James walked up the drive to her family's ranch house. The trees were a vibrant pink with the new cherry blossoms. Today was her sixteenth birthday, and she was expecting the one present she knew she'd never get. A car.

She walked in the front door and headed into the kitchen to find her mother sipping a glass of wine by the counter.

"Oh, is it someone's birthday today?" She asked Sasha jokingly.

Her mother was beautiful, and Sasha had always been incredibly envious of her mother's beauty. At 36 years old, she was still the picture of youth. Charlotte James had big, light brown ringlet curls, and she always had plenty of makeup on to accentuate her natural beauty. Every man in town knew about Charlotte James. She had never really grown out of her rebellious teenage habits. Often times, on the weekends, you could find Mrs. James drinking and partying on Broadway Street in downtown Nashville. Sasha's mother looked incredibly young to have a sixteen year old daughter.

"Mom!" Sasha said playfully smacking her mother's arm.

"Here, I made you this for after supper tonight," her mom moved out of the way to reveal a chocolate cake with the number sixteen written in pink icing.

Sasha hugged her mom to show her thanks and then leaned up against the counter, "So, when's dad coming back from his business trip in England?"

"Should be any day now. They were building another factory like one your dad manages in Liverpool. It's a huge opportunity for the company. Liverpool's an industrial town."

"Eww, Liverpool. Sounds like a disgusting place to live," Sasha said sticking her tongue out.

Her mom gave a small chuckle, "Now, go get your school clothes off and into something nice. We're eating in the dining room tonight."

Sasha ran up the stairs and Charlotte was reminded of Jim at the mention of Liverpool and glanced over at the kitchen table where she had been reading his latest letter to her. She looked beside the letter at the two unopened envelopes. One she had just sealed herself and one from Jim's oldest son to Sasha.

Bill had convinced Charlotte that it was time to tell Sasha about her real father, and when she told Jim, he had written back that his oldest son wanted to get to know Sasha, so he wrote a letter as well.

When Sasha's mom finally called her down for dinner, she rushed down the stairs to find her dad standing in the doorway.

"Daddy!" She called running and jumping into her dad's arms.

After dinner and dessert were finished, her mom led them to the living room for presents. She had finally opened the last one and still no car.

"Sasha, I have one more present for you," her dad said getting up.

He came back dragging and big box and put it in front of her, "Now, Sasha we couldn't get you a car, but I got you something in England that I know you'll love."

She opened the box and pulled out a guitar case, she unzipped it to reveal a shiny, dark brown acoustic guitar.

"Daddy, I love it! Thank you so much," she said smiling and gawking over her new guitar.

"I noticed your old one was looking pretty worn, so I picked up this new one. It's a Rickenbacker. Apparently that's a top brand over there. I think it will look great sitting next to your other ones," he dad explained.

She strummed it softly, it sounded beautiful, even though it wasn't even properly tuned. Ever since she got her first guitar, she's been writing songs. She dreams of having the songs she writes someday become hits. Her dream was to become a country music singer and play at the Grand Ole Opry, her parents in the crowd cheering her on.

She helped her mom clean up, and they sat back on the couch.

"What did your friend Abigail get you today?" Charlotte asked.

"She got me a ticket to the Opry tomorrow night. Elvis Presley is going to be there!" She answered with excitement.

"Who's driving?" Her dad asked.

"Drew's going to take us in his car," she answered.

Her mom smiled, "Is that the boy you like?"

"He has a girlfriend now," Sasha said trying not to show her disappointment.

A blanket of silence fell over the room until her mom spoke a few minutes later, "Sasha, you're sixteen now, and your dad and I have something we want to tell you."

Sasha brushed a strand of her brown curly hair out of her face and nodded slightly.

Her mom took a deep breath, "Several years ago, a year before you were born, I met a man named Jim McCartney in New York. He was from England and in town on a business trip. I fell in love with him and found out that I was going to have you shortly after he went back to England. I met Bill when you were just a few months old."

Sasha stared at her parents in shock, "You mean dad's not my real dad?"

"Honey, I will always be your dad, I'm just not your biological father," he said.

Her mom spoke again, "Sasha, the last name on your birth certificate is McCartney and you'll have to go by that name someday."

"Why did you wait until now to tell me?" Sasha said getting a little angry.

"We wanted to wait until you were mature enough to handle the news. We were going to wait until you were eighteen, but we figured that you were old enough now. I also got a letter from Jim asking if you knew yet because he had a son a year or two younger than you that wanted to get to know his half-sister," her mom handed her a letter, "This is a letter from him, his name is Paul. He wants to start communicating through letters."

"So now I have a half-brother that I've never even heard of in England," Sasha said trying to control her anger.

"I'm sorry. We just thought now was the right time to tell you. Please reply to Paul," her mom said.

"I'm going to bed. Thanks for all my birthday presents," she said kissing both her parents on their heads and heading to her room.

This was news that she didn't quite know how to take. The man that raised her wasn't her real father. Sasha was honestly in shock.

When she got to her room, she sat down at her desk and switched on the lamp. The letter was addressed from James Paul McCartney in Liverpool, England. She opened it and began to read it.

 _Dear Sasha,_

 _This letter will be kind of short because I would just like to introduce myself. Well, firstly, my name's Paul. I'm fourteen, and the one thing that everyone knows about me is that I play guitars. My dad told me that your mom told him that you also play and have been playing for a while. I guess we have something in common then. I couldn't believe it when I found out that I had an older half-sister in America. I had to get to know you._

 _I do want to get to know you, but I guess the truth behind me randomly writing a stranger, who I just found out was my half-sister yesterday, is because I need someone to talk to. Sure, I could talk to my dad, but it wouldn't be the same. You see, my mum died last year from cancer, and I've been pretty sad._

 _So please reply. I would love to have you to talk to._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Your half-brother Paul_

After Sasha had finished reading, she quickly got out a pen and paper and began to write a letter introducing herself and giving her regards to him about his mom. This was only the beginning.

 **Author's Note: Please comment and tell me what you think.**


	3. Chapter 3: That'll Be the Day

**Author's Note: Thank you for reading this! I'm putting a lot of time and effort into this story to make it what I want it to be. Because of this, I would really appreciate if you told me if you like the new version. I was hoping we could get to 5 or more reviews on this before I post the next chapter. Thank you and enjoy!  
**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 3: That'll Be The Day**

 **July 11, 1957, Nashville, TN**

Sasha licked the sticky lining of the envelope to seal it. She hoped Paul would enjoy this letter. Everything was falling apart in Sasha's life. In May, just a short month after her birthday, Bill and Charlotte finally cracked. Bill just couldn't live with Charlotte's careless lifestyle anymore. The divorce papers had been finalized a few days ago, and Sasha was devastated. Bill had gotten a job as the CEO at the factory in Liverpool, and Charlotte agreed that it would be a great opportunity for Sasha to meet her biological father and her brothers. Sasha thought it was a terrible idea, being moved away from all of her friends before her last year of high school and her dream of becoming a country music singer. Sasha believed that Liverpool was just not the place to do that.

She kept telling herself that it was only until she was eighteen as she finished packing her clothes. Her dad only had custody of her until she was eighteen, and then she would be back in Nashville.

 **July 27, 1957, Liverpool, England**

Fifteen year old Paul McCartney walked out to check the mail. Once he got it, he looked through the pile to see if he had gotten any mail from Sasha. Over the past few months, he and Sasha had gotten pretty close through their letters. He found Sasha's letter and ran to his room. He opened it quickly and read over it.

 _Dear Paul,_

 _Looks like we're going to meet sooner than expected. My parents' divorce has been finalized since the last time we talked. My dad got the opportunity to be president of the factory, just like the one he manages here, in Liverpool. Both my parents agreed that it would be great for me to move there with him and finally meet you and my biological father._

 _I guess I'll see you soon then. There's no need to reply to this, I'll probably be on my way by the time you get this._

 _Love,_

 _Your sister Sasha_

Paul couldn't believe it. He was finally going to meet his sister. He could tell her all the things that he was going to tell her in his next letter in person. The biggest piece of news being that he had just joined a band.

 **July 29, 1957, Liverpool, England**

 **Sasha's POV**

"Hey, dad, where does this box go?" I asked my dad while carrying a cardboard box.

He looked back at me from his new car, "Um, I think the kitchen."

I headed inside the foreign house and put the box in the kitchen. We had arrived in London last night, stayed in hotel, and then got to Liverpool this morning. I went back outside, squinting my eyes from the sun.

Our new house was quite big. The outside was a light yellow with green trimmings and located a street called Menlove Avenue. In the front yard, there were some newly planted trees and a low brick fence. However, no flowers had been planted in the landscaping and the grass was taller than usual. I liked the house though, and I think a few flowers would do the trick.

I looked around my new street and saw a guy and his friends staring in my direction.

 _You want picture, it lasts longer?_ I thought, I wish I had the courage to walk up to them and say that.

I helped my dad unload some more boxes from the moving truck that was a disgusting shade of mustard yellow. I would look over at the group of people every now and then. There was a guy in the front that looked around my age; he had his arm around a pretty brunette. He was cute, not going to lie, but there was a certain way he was staring which made me think that he was trouble.

"Sasha, did you get the phone set up? I'm expecting a call," my dad said handing me another box.

"Yeah. Where's this one go?"

"Your room. Tell me if the phone rings," he called to me as I walked away.

I walked in the house and up the stairs and found an empty room that I liked. It was a bit bigger than the other bedroom upstairs, and it had a window looking out over the backyard.

I walked back downstairs and looked at all the boxes we hadn't unpacked yet.

My dad walked in the house and shut the door. He sat down another box, "Well, this is the last one."

Right then, the phone rang, and my dad answered, "Hello, Bill James," he paused, "Oh, yes," another pause, "she'll be there. Alright, bye now."

I looked at him confused.

"Go get dressed. That was Jim McCartney. You're going over there for dinner tonight," my dad said.

In the car on the way to Paul's house, I noticed my palms starting to get sweaty and butterflies entering my stomach. It wasn't that I was nervous to meet Paul, I was nervous to meet my biological father. Would he like me? Am I what he wants in a daughter?

"Are you alright?" I heard my father ask.

I turned my head, "Just nervous."

"He'll like you. I don't see who wouldn't like you."

We pulled up to a cute little house that I remembered from a picture Paul had sent me, "Okay, this is it. Love you dad."

"Love you too, Sasha. Just remember, be polite and have fun."

I got out of the car and watched my dad drive off. I walked up to the door and lifted my shaking arm to knock. Before I could knock, the door opened and a lady threw her arms around me.

She stepped back after our hug, "You must be Sasha. You're so beautiful, I envy people with curly hair," she chuckled, "I'm Edie, Paul's aunt. Come in."

I stepped inside, and she closed the door behind me, "Nice to meet you."

"You're probably wondering where Jim is. He's at work still. Don't worry he'll be home in time for dinner. Paul's down in the basement with some of his friends. Just go down those steps there," she pointed to a door in the corner.

"Thanks," I went to the door and opened it.

I started making my way down the steps. The basement door closed and suddenly I was nervous to meet Paul. I heard boys' laughter and continued slowly making my way down the steps.

I stepped into the basement and saw four boys gathered around instruments. The tallest boy was turned around talking to the drummer.

A boy with black hair took off his bass guitar and ran toward me. He wrapped me in his arms, "Sasha. It's so good to finally meet you."

"It's good to meet you too, Paul," I said, all my nervousness washing away in an instant.

He let go of me, "I want to introduce you to the band I'm in. We're called The Quarrymen. After John's school, he started the band."

He led me over to the band, "Everyone, this is me half-sister Sasha from America. She plays guitar too."

"This is John Lennon," he said introducing me a brown haired boy. I recognized him; he was the boy who led the group staring at me today.

"'Ello, beautiful. I'm John," he said kissing my hand.

He was beyond cute, and his accent was to die for, but he was a bad boy, and I could tell.

There was a young blonde boy sitting on the couch who spoke up, but his voice was quiet and shy, "I'm Pete."

Paul led me to the drummer, "This is Colin. There a couple more guys in the group, but couldn't come to the practice."

"Hi," I said.

"Hey," he said back.

"Sasha, would you like to hear us?" Paul asked me.

"Sure," I said.

Paul nodded the other boys, "Alright, you can take a seat on the couch."

"What should we play?" Pete asked.

John walked over to me, "You like Buddy Holly, mama?" He was obviously trying to act like Elvis.

I nodded, and he walked back over to where the band was, "Alright then. The lady wants Buddy Holly.

When he said Buddy Holly a second time, I noticed his glasses; they were like Buddy Holly's.

They started the song, and I sat and watched, my eyes shifting to John and then to Paul and then back to John.

"Cause, that'll be the day when I die," John sang and the rest of the group finished up the song with their instruments.

I clapped and John came walking over to me, "You like it?"

"Yeah, you have a great voice," I said.

"Thanks. Paul said you played guitar. How long have you been playing?"

"My dad taught me when I was about nine," I said smiling.

John smiled back, "Wow! A long time. If don't mind me asking…."

"I'm sixteen going on seventeen," I said cutting him off.

"Me too," he replied.

We stared at each other for a minute, and I felt something deep inside of me that I had never felt before. Then he smiled at me and turned to talk to the rest of his band.

"Paul! Your father's on his way home. Are your friends staying for dinner?" I heard Edie call from upstairs.

Paul looked for responses in his band mates. Pete shook his head, "I would, but I have to get up early to help my dad on his car."

"I can't stay either," Colin said.

Paul nodded, "How 'bout you John? You staying?"

"Yeah, ain't got anything better to do," John replied looking at me.

"Just John's staying, Aunt Edie!" Paul called back up the steps.

"Okay, Paul. I'll set another place."

Pete and Colin left, and we sat on the couch in the living room. John sat next to me, and Paul sat across from us in the chair.

Paul sighed, "So Sasha, what school are you going to when it starts?"

"I think my dad said Quarry bank," I replied.

John sat up, "That's where I go to school. I could show you around on the first day."

"Alright," I said smiling at him.

I heard the door open and close, "Well, that's me dad," Paul said and the butterflies fluttered back into my stomach.

I followed John and Paul into the kitchen. A tall man turned around and saw me.

He walked toward me and brought me into to his arms, "Sasha, it's been too long. I should have met you before this."

We pulled away, "It's really good to meet you," I said.

We all sat down at the kitchen table and Jim asked me about my life and what my hobbies were, and I learned a lot about him too. Throughout dinner, I would catch John looking at me out of the corner of his eye. I don't think he took eyes of me while we ate. After dinner, Paul, John, and I went out in Paul's backyard.

"It's nice out here," Paul said when we stepped outside.

"Yeah," I agreed.

I sat down on a bench and John sat beside me. Paul sat in the chair in front of us.

"Some tea sounds good, Paulie," John said.

Paul nodded his head in agreement, "I'll go make some. Be right back."

When Paul had gone inside, John yawned and stretched his arm out, resting it behind me.

"Smooth," I said softly.

John chuckled, "The wind's a bit chilly, and why don't you scoot closer?"

I moved his arm from behind to where it was beside my leg, "I'll pass."

He put his hand on my thigh, "You sure? You seem lonely."

I moved his hand, "Don't touch me."

John aggressive ways were intimidating, and I didn't want this night to end on a bad note.

"Oh, touchy. Don't worry, I like girls who are a bit feisty," he leaned down close to my ear, "Means their good in the sack," he whispered.

I scooted farther away from him, "I like guys who don't lead a group staring at the new girl on the street."

"Sorry about that, that was Pete's idea. We were just curious," he said.

"And I'm sure your girlfriend wouldn't like you flirting with me," I said.

He laughed out loud, "Marie? She's not me girlfriend."

Silence fell over us, and I realized how awkward I felt, but, at the same time, I loved being next to him. I couldn't explain the feeling that washed over me. I never wanted to move from this spot.

"I don't think I've made the right first impression," he said suddenly, "Can I have a second chance?"

"What do you mean?"

"I want you to give me a chance," he said scooting closer to me, "Can I do something crazy?"

I felt like backing away, but I couldn't move. He moved a strand of my hair and tucked it behind my ear. His face got closer to mine, and the minute our lips touched, I felt sparks.

After our small kiss he backed away, "You feel that?"

I nodded.

"I've never felt that in a kiss before. That has to mean something," he said leaning in again.

This time his kiss was stronger, and I kissed him back. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he placed his hands on my waist. Man, he sure was a good kisser.

We heard someone clear their throat and quickly looked up to find Paul setting down a teapot and teacups, "John, I leave for ten minutes and you're already kissing me sister."

John shrugged and fixed himself some tea. I fixed some as well and shivered slightly as I sat back down. John was right, it was kind of chilly from the wind. John put his arm around me, and I leaned into him to share his warmth. I saw the slightest bit of a smirk play out on Paul's lips.

When it was time to go, John offered to walk me home because we lived on the same street, and had no idea which way to go. I said goodbye to Paul, and we headed on our way.

I shivered from the cool nighttime air, and John put his leather jacket around me.

We stopped in front of my house, "Can I see you tomorrow, Sasha?"

"I don't see why not," I said.

John grinned, "I'll pick you up at two tomorrow afternoon?"

"Sure," I said.

We embraced, and he began kissing me again. He slipped his tongue in between my parted lips making our kiss more intense. His hands traveled up my waist to my stomach. I pushed away from him. I knew where he was going to put his hands next.

"My dad will see," I said.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?" He asked.

I nodded and smiled, "Goodnight, John."

"Night, Sasha," he said.

Then he kissed me softly, put his hands in his pockets, and started to walk back to his house.

I walked up to the front door and went inside to find my dad waiting up for me.

He walked up to me, "So, how did tonight go?"

"It was wonderful," I said smiling and with that headed to my room.

When I got to my room, I closed the door and leaned up against. I bit my lip and smiled, thinking about John and the way his kisses ignited my whole body. I think I'm going to like Liverpool, and it's all because of a boy named John Lennon.

 **Author's Note: Please review! I love to hear what you think about my chapters. Remember, 5 or more reviews!  
**


	4. Chapter 4: Fearless

**Author's Note: The last chapter didn't quite get to the review goal that I wanted, but I wanted to go ahead and put up the next chapter. Thank you if you did review! I want to try and get to 7 reviews with this chapter, please!  
**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 4: Fearless**

 **July 30, 1957**

 **Sasha's POV**

I pushed some dirt to cover up the bottom of the flower I had just planted. Last night, when I was at Paul's house, my dad had picked up some flowers to do some landscaping. I was glad that he did that because that way the house would actually look like someone lived there.

The morning sun was a little hot; I wiped some sweat off my forehead.

"Hey, what are doing up at seven a.m. planting flowers?"

I turned around to find Paul standing on the sidewalk with a young boy I didn't recognize. I got up and walked over to them.

"I got up earlier than this. I just thought that in the morning would be better because it's less hot, but I guess I was wrong," I said catching my breath.

Paul brought his hand up to shade his eyes up from the sun, "Well, would you like to take a break and come into town with me and George here? George is my mate from school. I'm going to try and get him in the band eventually, but John thinks he's too young. This kid can play a killer guitar though."

"Nice to meet you, George," I said. The young boy nodded at me. He sure was quiet.

"Sure. Let me just take off this apron and gloves. Be right back," I said responding to Paul's first question and turning and walking inside my house.

Once inside, I took off my apron and gloves and placed them on a table in the foyer. I looked in the mirror above the table. Good thing I got in the shower and cleaned up this morning. I grabbed my purse off the coat rack and put on some other shoes and headed out the door.

"Ready?" Paul asked.

"Yeah," I replied walking next to Paul.

I sighed, "Paul, I have to be back home by at least noon."

"Alright, we were just going to eat breakfast and pick up some dry cleaning for George's mum," Paul said.

"Okay," I said.

"May I ask why you have to be back at noon?" Paul asked smirking at me.

"John's picking me up at two," I answered.

George stopped walking, "You're going somewhere with John? John Lennon?"

I was in shock; that was the most I had heard George say since I met him, "Is that bad?"

"He'll rape you," George replied seriously.

"He will not, George. Be quiet," Paul said to George.

We started walking again, "Why did he say that?" I asked Paul.

"Just be careful. John has a reputation," he said.

"And he'll ruin yours," George said, "And you don't even know anyone yet."

Paul gave George a dirty look then turned to me, "Just be careful. John might hurt you Sasha. I could be an overly controlling little brother and say that you can't go out with him, but I won't say that. John said when he saw you, he'd never gotten that feeling that he felt before. He said that he feels like you could be his first serious love."

"What? Has he ever said before?"

"No, he surprisingly hasn't. I think he was actually being sincere, which is weird for John. But still, be careful. I'm warning you now," Paul said.

"Okay, I'll be careful. Promise," I said.

We walked into town and turned to go in a diner. We sat down at a table that was actually empty.

"This place is packed," I said as we sat down.

Paul and George sat down across from me, "Yep. It's one of the most popular diner's for breakfast in England," George said.

"George is exaggerating, but it is good," Paul said.

We ordered breakfast, and they weren't lying when they said it was good. We talked some over coffee and tea after we ate, and we didn't leave the diner until eleven.

"Look at the time," Paul said as we left, "We better hurry and get George's mum's dry cleaning."

We got to the dry cleaners, and George went in while Paul and I stayed outside.

"What's John's reputation?" I asked curiously.

"Well, he's kind of…. How do I say this? Um, he's kind of a man whore," Paul said.

I looked at the ground, "Oh."

"But I'm sure you'll have a great time with him," Paul said.

"Yeah."

"Okay, let's go," George said carrying a few dry cleaning bags.

They walked me back to my house, and I said goodbye to them and went inside. I ran up to my room and took another shower. I got out of the shower and did my hair and makeup. I got dressed in a light purple dress and flats. I put a white sweater and some more money in my purse. By the time I was ready, there was a knock at the door.

I opened it to find John standing there in jeans and a red checkered button up shirt, "Hi, come in."

He stepped inside, looking around nervously, "Hi."

"Don't worry, my dad's not here, he's at work. It is Friday you know," I said.

"Good," he said, exhaling.

I walked out the door, and he followed me. I turned around and shut and locked the front door. We walked down the porch steps and John took my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine. My hand felt so comfortable in his.

"So, John what are we going to do today?"

"Um, I was thinking we could go to Blackpool. There's some really fun stuff there and we can get some lunch. I promised me Aunt that I would bring you for dinner later," John said.

"I have to meet your Aunt?" I said, wondering why it wasn't his parents I was meeting.

He didn't say anything; we kept walking until we got to a bus stop.

"So, how do you like Liverpool so far?" John asked quietly while we waited for the bus.

I smiled at him, "Well, it's very nice, everything that I've seen of it anyway. Paul and his friend, George were walking by my house this morning and asked me to go into town. We had breakfast at this cute little diner, the food was amazing. Then they walked me home after we picked up some dry cleaning. I got ready and you showed up just in time. What did you do this morning?"

John sighed, "Nothing much. Just sat in my room trying to write songs on my guitar to pass the time away."

"You write songs?"

"I try to anyway," he said looking at the ground.

"Oh," I looked at the ground too, "I was just wondering because I write songs."

He looked at me, "Maybe we could write songs together some day."

We went back to being quiet again. The bus came eventually, and John took my hand and led me back of the bus. We sat down, but John didn't let go of my hand.

I looked over at him, he was looking at the floor again, and he seemed upset, "John may ask what's wrong?"

"I'm just having an off day, luv. I'll be alright," he said not looking at me.

"Look at me," he looked at me, "You can tell me anything you know."

He sighed and a blanket of silence fell over us.

"Me uncle died last year, and I was just thinking about him," he finally said.

I squeezed his hand, "I'm so sorry John."

John sighed then chuckled, "I usually don't share my feelings to anyone. Yet, here I am wanting to tell a girl a barely know everything about me."

I stayed silent, he spoke again, "When me aunt said she wanted to meet you tonight, I knew I would have to tell you why it was me aunt and not me parents."

Another round of silence happened, John exhaled, "Me dad left when I was little and me mum gave me away to me aunt and her and me uncle raised me. Then I thought about how much Uncle George would've liked you."

I rubbed his hand with my thumb, "Do you ever see your real parents?"

"Me dad is nowhere to be found, and I go see me mom occasionally, ever since Uncle George's funeral," John said.

I sighed, I didn't know what it was like to be alone and not have any real parents, but at this moment I wish I did know somehow. That way I could at least sympathize with him.

I smiled at him, "Well, let's forget all our troubles today and have some fun."

John smirked, "That's exactly what we're going to do, luv."

The bus stopped, and we got off. In the distance, I saw a pier with carnival rides and loads of people. We walked towards the entrance of the pier.

"Just two?" The ticket taker asked.

"Yeah," John replied handing him some money.

The man handed him two tickets, "Don't lose these."

John handed the tickets to me, and I slipped them into my purse. John took my hand in his, and we entered the park. He led me to a little white building by the water.

"Get one of those picnic tables for us," he side walking to the window.

I went and sat down at a table that was in a nice quiet spot. John came back with some food on a tray and two drinks.

"Fish and chips," he said sitting down across from me, "You don't have the full English experience until you have fish and chips."

I chuckled, "You know, in America we call chips French fries."

"French fries? The French get credited for chips," he said, "Sasha, here's a life lesson, the French are just a bunch of hairy wankers."

I laughed, "Wanker? What's that?"

"You don't want to know," John said.

John and I finished our lunch, threw the trash away in the nearest trashcan, and walked to the amusement park. We rode the rides and fed the seagulls some bread that John bought at the fish and chips stand. When it was almost time for the sun to set, John took me to the Ferris wheel. We climbed in one of the seats. The temperature was dropping so I put on the sweater I brought and snuggled up close to John.

I felt fearless, like nothing could hurt me when I was with John. It was weird, really. This was just the first that I had spent alone with him, but I trusted him, and I felt like I had known him for years.

We got to the top, John made me sit up, bringing me out of my thoughts about him, "I really like you Sasha. I've never felt this way about a girl before. I'm not a very nice guy, and I'm sure Paul warned you. If you don't want be with me, I understand. I'm just telling you that I've never had this feeling before. When we kissed last night at Paul's house, I felt something. I can't believe I go this soft when I'm around you. I can let down me guard with you."

"I really like you too, John," I didn't know what else to say to what he just said. All of this was so surreal. I week ago I thought I would hate Liverpool. I wanted to go back to Nashville as soon as I turned eighteen, but I might just stick around.

Right when the sun was setting and the sky had beautiful shades of pinks and purples and oranges, John kissed me.

We kissed until we got to the bottom of the Ferris wheel. We got off, and John put his arm around my shoulders and walked me back to the bus stop. The bus was loading up when we got there, so we got a back seat and made out all the way to our destination. When the bus arrived on our street, we walked up to John's house, we stopped at the gate.

"I had a wonderful time today. I just hope your aunt likes me," I said wrapping my arms around his neck.

He wrapped his arms around my waist, "About that. Aunt Mimi can be kind of…tough."

He kissed me, and then we walked through the gate and up to the front door. The door swung open and there stood an older lady with jet black hair, she was frowning.

"John! You're late!"

 **Author's Note: What's Mimi going to say to Sasha? Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5: Mimi

**Author's Note: I know the review goal wasn't reached, but I thought I would upload anyway. I'm a little sad because I feel like no one is reading my new edits.**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 5: Mimi**

 **July 30, 1957**

 **Sasha's POV**

"John! You're late!"

"Sorry Mimi, but we had to ride bus back from Blackpool," John explained.

The lady sighed, "Come in. I've had the food ready for an hour. You have to learn to become more punctual, John. You'll need to be responsible if you want to find a job after school."

She had a much more proper accent than John, and she said all of this whilst leading us through the small entranceway to a dining room that was right off the kitchen. I thought I saw John rolling his eyes out of the corner of mine, and I stifled a giggle. The inside of the house was smaller than the one my dad and I had moved into. The house was spotless and the decoration and knick-knacks were grand. This is the kind of decoration I would imagine would be in Buckingham Palace. I could tell that Mimi was a tidy lady. I looked over at John, his checkered shirt slightly untucked from his worn jeans and an old leather jacket hanging on his shoulders. I bet it drove her crazy, the way his dressed compared to how she seemed to me.

"Where are your glasses, John?" Mimi asked as he sat down next to me at the table.

"Aw, Mimi," he whined, pulling them out of his pocket and slipping them on his face.

She sighed, "Is your pocket blind, John?"

"Oh, I haven't even introduced myself," Mimi said as she walked over to me, "I'm Mary Elizabeth Smith, but everyone calls me Mimi. You must be Sasha. John told me all about you last night."

"Mimi," John whined again.

"Yes Ma'am." I greeted her, "Nice to meet you."

"You as well," she said before walking away.

Mimi disappeared into the kitchen to finish preparing the meal she had cooked. I looked over at John, who was tapping the table nervously with his fingers.

"What's wrong?" I whispered to him.

He looked up at me with those hazel eyes. I hadn't noticed before, but there were specs of green in them, and if the light hit them the right way, you would think they were green.

He grabbed my hand under the table, "I want her to like you."

I felt butterflies explode in my stomach, and I thought back to what Paul said this morning. This boy with a cloudy past wanted so desperately for his aunt to like me. What did this mean? I wondered if Paul was right about John, and I wondered about John's reputation here in town. I didn't care, though. Deep inside, I felt something toward John that I had never felt before. Everything felt too cliché, too much like the romance films I would watch with my friends. After all the boys that had broken my heart back in Nashville, had I finally got it right with John?

Mimi cleared her throat as she walked elegantly back into the dining room carrying a large plate with a whole baked chicken sitting beautifully on it. John didn't let go of my hand from under the table.

"John," Mimi sat the chicken on the table, "Would you help me get the rest of the food?"

John reluctantly let go of my hand, and I was left sitting alone as John trailed behind Mimi to the kitchen. A few moments later, John and Mimi emerged from the kitchen once more and the remaining side dishes on the table. I looked at the spread in front of me as John sat down next to me. Chicken, salad, mashed potatoes, freshly baked bread, and an assortment of vegetables. I knew that Mimi had been cooking all day. What had John told her about me? Did she do this for all of the girls that John has been with? I tried to push that last question out my head.

John fixed my plate for me, fixed his, and grabbed my hand again as he started eating.

The food was delicious, "Mimi," I spoke a little timidly out of nervousness.

She looked up at me, "Hmm?"

"This is very good. Thank you. I know you've spent all day fixing this," I complimented her cooking.

"It's nothing, dear. I just wanted to make it special," Mimi looked at John, "This is the first time that John has wanted to bring a girl to meet me."

That answered my unwanted question. I looked at John, he was shoveling potatoes in his mouth, and his cheeks were red with embarrassment. I smiled at him. I didn't know what to say. To say the least, however, I was confused. This was nothing like the John that Paul and George warned me about this morning. I saw a sweet boy, who's troubled past had caused him to obtain a hard outer shell. I wonder if anyone else sees this sweet side of him, I guessed otherwise.

John finally looked up from his plate and smiled back at me. I saw Mimi smirk out the corner of my eye.

After dinner, Mimi took our plates to the sink, "John, would you take your little friend into the living room," she had that condescending tone in her voice that she had when we first arrived here. I knew that I was about to be interrogated.

I saw John briefly roll his eyes. We sat down on the couch, and Mimi came and sat down in the chair in front of us. The fire was silently roaring in the fireplace next to us, heating the room.

"So Sasha," she began, "Are you attending Quarrybank with John."

"Yeah, but I just moved here from America," I said starting to get nervous again.

John must have felt me getting nervous because he grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

Mimi sighed, "Really? Now what do you want to do with your life?"

"Um, I would really like to be a musician. I write songs and play guitar, and living in Nashville for a while made me want to maybe sing country music, but if that falls through, I don't know."

"A musician," Mimi said, "That's John's silly dream too…"

"Mimi!" John said, cutting her off.

"John, don't interrupt me," Mimi scowled at him.

John spoke again, "Listen, Mimi. She's been through a lot these past few months. She just moved to a new country."

John could stand up to Mimi, but I heard shakiness in his voice that sounded like fear. There was tension between the two opposites that was present.

"Okay," Mimi sighed, "Sasha, tell me about your family."

I took a deep breath, and John squeezed my hand again. I spoke, "Well, I'm originally from New York, that's where my mother is from. My real father is Jim McCartney, Paul's dad. I just found that out on my birthday."

"My mate, Paul," John explained, "The one that just joined the band. That's her brother."

Mimi nodded, and I continued, "The man that raised me, my dad, he married my mom when I was still small. I don't remember having anyone else but him. We moved to Nashville seven years ago, and my parents just got a divorce, and I had to move here with my dad."

Mimi sighed, "I see. And your dad, does he support you wanting to live on the streets?"

"Excuse me?" I said, my voice shaking.

"It's very hard to become a musician, and you don't get paid much," Mimi said matter-of-factly.

John cleared his throat, "Mimi."

"John, I want you to find someone that will get your head out of the clouds and make you focus on what's important," Mimi argued.

"Isn't happiness important?" John asked Mimi through clenched teeth.

"It's not if you have to scrounge for money, and your living with nothing," Mimi stood up and shook my hand, "I'm sorry Sasha, but your priorities just aren't in the right place. You're just not right for my John.

John was fuming beside me. He let go of my hand and stood up to face Mimi, "Well, let me tell you something, Mimi. I like her, and if you don't like that, you can kiss my bloody arse!"

"Don't talk to me that way John Lennon," Mimi yelled back at him.

I just sat there in shock, the heat from the fireplace was suddenly too much, "May I use the restroom?"

"Down the hall to the left," Mimi said dryly to me.

I got up and walked down the hall to the bathroom. As soon as I closed the door, I began to hear Mimi and John shouting at each other. I didn't understand how one woman could be so hurtfully blunt. She didn't like me, and she practically said that to my face. I stared at myself in the mirror. I watched a lonely tear run down my cheek. It was hard when my parents got a divorce and decided to move me to a completely different country a month and a half before my senior year, but I think sitting in that living room just now listening to John's aunt call me a failure was harder. I had feelings for John that I couldn't explain. I hardly knew, yet I was heartbroken. I cried for the first time since all of this happened. I sat down on edge of the bathtub and buried my face in my hands.

There was a knock at the door, and John came in, "I'm sorry about her."

I turned him, and the tears that I had been holding in for weeks were finally spilling over. He closed the door, walked over to me, and brought me into his arms. I felt so safe there, like nothing could ever hurt. I shook my head in disbelief.

"What?" He asked me quietly.

I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath, "Look at me. I'm crying like a baby to a really cute boy that I really like."

John chuckled quietly, "I don't care. What Mimi said to you was wrong."

We sat in silence for a few more moments. John looked deeply into my eyes and smirked.

"What?" I asked him.

John still had that handsome smirk on his face, "You really like me?"

I laughed and slapped his chest, "Shut up."

John leaned closer to my face, and I could feel his soft breath on my slightly parted lips. He kissed me. It was slow at first, but then he made it more forceful and needy. He was all I wanted in this moment. He was all I've ever wanted.

Disbelief washed over me again, and I pulled away from his intoxicating kiss. He looked disappointed.

"This is crazy," I whispered.

He had a questioning look on his face.

I grabbed his hand and intertwined my fingers with his, "I just met you last night, and I'm feeling something I've never felt before. It's all a bit crazy and fast."

John smiled at me, "I know how you feel. I never thought this feeling would happen to me. I'm not the kind of guy that wants to settle down with one girl, but that's how I feel right now, with you."

"Is this possible?"

He shrugged, "What I feel is real, but it's also confusing. I've never felt this way before. You make me want to change."

I kissed John, and he gave me few pecks back before standing up from the edge of the tub.

He held his hand out to me, "Come on. I want to show you my room."

I took his hand and stood. I walked closely behind him with my hand still in his. He led me down the hall and through the living room. Mimi wasn't there anymore. He led me up the steps and down the long hallway to the front bedroom.

I walked in with him and sat down on his tiny bed. The room was small, with only a bed, desk and wardrobe cramped in here. John sat down at his desk and picked up his guitar. It looked like a cheap guitar.

He strummed a simple chord, "I've only been playing for a few months. My mum taught me to play banjo, and then I wanted a guitar. I want to be like Elvis."

He nodded to an Elvis poster on the wall behind me.

"I saw Elvis at the Opry, the day after my birthday," I said, reminiscing and missing my best friend Abigail.

"Gear," He said placing his guitar back beside his desk, "When's your birthday?"

I smiled, "April 13th. Thirteen's my lucky number. When's yours?"

John laughed, his eyes lighting up, "It's a bit backwards having your lucky number be thirteen. Anyway, mine's the 9th of October."

I smiled and looked around the room once more. John came over and climbed onto the bed. He sat against the headboard and up against the wall. He patted the mattress for me to sit next to him. I did, and he put his left arm around me and grabbed my hand with his right hand. I placed my head on his shoulder, completely comfortable.

We sat there talking for what seemed like days. We told everything about each other, and John made me laugh with his satirical humor.

"…and I like baking and winter smells," I finished telling him my favorite things after he told me his.

"What exactly is a winter smell?" He asked me, "Just for future reference."

I laughed, "The smell of Christmas baking, apples, cinnamon, gingerbread, and those things."

He looked down at me, "Well, I can't wait for winter, so you can bake things for me."

"I would love to bake things for you," I smiled at him, looking into his beautiful eyes.

He began to kiss me. It was the most passionate, come up for air kiss, that we had had to date. I didn't think that they could get any better, but every time his lips moved on mine, it took my breath away. It started to get extremely heated, John moved from beside me.

He stood over me and undid his belt and stripped from his shirt. He bent down to kiss me again and tried lifting up my dress.

"John, stop. I can't do this," I said, "Not tonight."

He looked confused. I think this was the first time a girl had told him no.

"It's just a little too fast for me," I pushed him away and stood up, "John, I have to get home. My dad's probably waiting up for me. It's late, he's probably worried."

I started to open the door, but John stopped me, "When can I see you again?"

"Soon," I said, smiling. I gave him a peck on the lips and walked out his door.

I walked home and saw the porch light on.

When I walked in, my dad was standing by the door, "Where have you been?"

"I told you, I went out with John today. He took me to a little carnival on a pier and then we went to his house to have dinner with his aunt," I explained to my dad.

"Alright. I hope you had a good time. Goodnight," he said turning away.

"Goodnight, love you dad," I said to him.

He turned toward me, "Love you too."

I walked upstairs to my room and got dressed for bed. When I was about to get in bed, I heard knocking on my window. I went over to the window and found John sitting in a tree waving at me.

I opened the window, "John, what are you doing up there?"

He climbed on a branch and through my window into my room, "I forgot to tell you something."

"Well, please whisper, my dad might hear us," I whispered to him.

He brought me close to him and kissed me, "I just wanted to say that I think I'm in love with you. I love you."

I was speechless. All of this had happened so fast, but I had no regrets. He was the first boy that I actually truly was in love with. It was a grown-up kid of love that I was feeling.

John stared at me, "Sasha, do you feel the same way?"

"Yeah, I do. I love you," I said.

John kissed me again, "Okay. Tomorrow night, be at Sefton Park at eight. We're having a summer party and me band's playing."

"Okay, I'll be there," I said.

John kissed me again and climbed back out the window. I couldn't get enough of his kisses and embraces. This night was just a rush of excitement. I didn't think I could calm down enough to fall asleep.

He turned back and looked at me when he had got back in the tree, "Oh, and Sasha, I love you."

"I love you too, John."

 **Author's Note: Well, they finally said that they loved each other. What do you think is going to happen at the party? Answer this question in your review!**


	6. Chapter 6: Summer Nights

**Something**

 **Chapter 6: Summer Nights**

 **July 31, 1957**

 **Sasha's POV**

All day I had been sitting in my room waiting for evening to come around so I could see John again. After last night, I never wanted to be away from him. Something about his presence made me feel whole. The rush of the new feeling of truly being in love with someone was dizzying. All I knew was that I wanted to be with John for a long time. When I looked into the future I couldn't see anyone else but him beside me. I just can't believe that my life has turned around like this in two days. I was devastated that I was moving away from Nashville, and my plan was to go back as soon as I turned eighteen, but now I have different plans. I want to stay here with John, and honestly, he is the first person I would ever put my music career on hold for.

I looked at the clock, it was seven. I had my guitar on my lap to finish the song I had started writing this morning. I got dressed two hours ago after trying on half the dresses in my closest. I settled on a blue one. I felt that it complimented my eyes, and I hoped John would like. I figured I should probably get going, considering I don't have much of idea on where exactly I was going.

I said goodbye to dad and stepped outside into the warm, summer nighttime air. I walked down the streets of Liverpool that I had memorized off the map I studied all day. I was on my way to Sefton Park to see John and Paul's band play. I finally approached the sign to the park as it was getting dark outside. The grass in the park was so green, and the white glass building that I admired was perched in the middle of the green space. There was a big open area that was surrounded by tall trees on every side. That's where the stage and tables were set up for the summertime festival. People of all ages were gathered around chatting and listening to another band playing on the stage.

I made my way to that area and shuffled through all of the people, looking for a familiar face. There were so many people there, and I couldn't find John.

"Sasha, over here!" I heard someone call out.

I followed the voice and found Paul, "Where's John?"

"He's preparing," Paul said.

I was confused, "Preparing?"

"For the show. Tuning his guitar and taking a deep breath. Sometimes, John gets stage fright before shows," Paul explained.

Pete came up to Paul, he had a guitar wrapped around him, "Paul, come on. We're about to go on."

"Alright," Paul turned to me, "Sasha try to move up to one of those tables near the stage."

Paul left, and I looked around. There were tables set up for people to sit and talk and eat. I found an empty table near the front and sat down.

"Hey, you're the new girl in town, aren't you?" I heard someone ask behind me.

Three girls sat down at my table, and I nodded.

"Saw you hanging out with John yesterday," a brunette that looked awfully familiar said.

"Yeah, so," I replied.

She sighed, "You're new here and you don't know a lot about the people here. First of all, I'm Marie and second of all, John is not your type."

"Hello Marie. I'm Sasha, and how do you know my type," I said. I was annoyed with this girl who seemed to want attention. Her friends looked like the type that followed her around and did whatever she told them.

"I don't, but John is nobody's type. He'll get what he wants from you and just leave. He's probably had sex with at least half of the girls his age at Quarrybank. He's out of control, and he sees you as vulnerable because you're new," she said.

"He doesn't act that way around me. I have something different with him," I said.

She chuckled, "That's what he wants you to think. Let me guess, for your first date he took you to Blackpool."

I didn't reply to her, I just looked away. John loved me, he even told Paul that he felt serious about me, and Paul wouldn't lie.

I noticed that the other two girls hadn't talked until Marie left to get a drink.

"Don't listen to her," the blonde girl said catching my attention.

"Yeah, she's just mad because John's actually is serious about you. He just wanted her for one good time in the woods," the black headed girl said, laughing at the end.

I sighed, "I know. He told me that he loved me."

"Really," the blonde asked, "I'm Michelle by the way."

"And I'm Shelley," the black headed girl said.

I smiled at them, "Nice to meet you both."

We sat a few moments in silence, until I heard Shelley talk again, "Looks like Marie found her a new boy." I looked behind me and saw Marie all over some red headed boy.

"Alright, can I have everyone's attention please," A boy on stage said into a microphone, "Give it up one more time for Rory Storm and the Hurricanes. They did awesome! And now the moment everyone's been waiting for. Please give a warm welcome to The Quarrymen!"

Everyone erupted in cheers when the boy left, and John, Paul, Colin, and Pete ran onto the stage. Two other boys joined them as well, who I guessed were the ones that missed practice the other night at Paul's house.

John walked up to the microphone in front, "Well, Hello Sefton Park!"

They crowd erupted in cheers.

"I'm John, and we're The Quarrymen."

More cheers.

"Thank you! Alright, I'd like to dedicate this first song to a very special girl. She likes Buddy Holly, and I hope you do too," John looked at me and smiled. It was the first time we had looked in each other's eyes today, and it made me feel as in love as I did last night when we confessed our feelings toward each other.

They started playing 'That'll be the Day' and the crowd cheered once again.

When they were finished performing their set, they bowed and ran off stage. I stood up and John ran up to me.

He took off his guitar and handed it to Colin, "Take care of that, son."

He wrapped his arms around me and whispered in my ear, "Let's get out of here. I want to show you something."

John took my hand and led me to the table where all the snacks were and lifted up the tablecloth and got a picnic basket out from under it.

He led me through the woods to a clearing. It was dark, but I could still see the beautiful flowers and pretty trees. He laid a blanket out and sat down, patting the spot in front of him.

I sat down, "John, your show was really good. You guys are really talented. I think you could go somewhere."

"I don't know. I heard it was pretty hard to get somewhere," he pulled a bottle out of the picnic basket; "Since the show was so good, I think we should celebrate."

"I don't drink," I told him.

"You don't drink, or you've never tried it," he said smirking at me.

He pulled out some glasses and a plate of sandwiches, "Made 'em meself."

We started eating the sandwiches, and John poured some of the light brown liquid into the two glasses.

I took a sip of mine; it burned my throat going down, "Oh God, this is strong."

"I know," John said downing the whole glass and pouring himself another.

"I missed you today," I said taking a bite of sandwich.

John kissed me, alcohol on his lips, "I missed you too, love. I just want to be with you all of the time. I've never wanted to be with a girl all of the time before."

I smiled back at him, "It's nice to be with you all of the time."

He nodded and took another sip of his drink. After John had drunk so many glasses I had lost count, I was on my third glass and started to feel a little weird. I had never drank alcohol before, so I wasn't sure if I was drunk yet, but John seemed to be.

He scooted over and put his arm around me kissing me on the neck, "You'd be more comfortable with that dress off."

I scooted away from him. My thoughts were starting to get clouded, but I could still think. I knew where I was, unlike John. I wanted to do this with him, but I didn't want my first time to be with a guy who was drunk.

"John, can we wait?" I said quietly.

"For what?" He slurred.

"To do this when you're not drunk," I said.

John giggled, "Sasha, I'm not drunk. I know where I am. I'm in beautiful Sefton Park with a beautiful you. I'm just kind of tipsy."

"Kind of?"

He laughed and then leaned over and kissed me fiercely. He pulled away to undo his belt and take off his shirt.

"Turn around," he whispered.

I turned around and he spoke, his hot breath on the back of my neck, "Move your hair."

My thoughts were clouded as I was convinced by him that John wasn't as drunk as I thought. Maybe he was just tipsy. I moved my hair, and he unzipped my dress. I turned around to face him and he pulled my dress over my head. I felt exposed and insecure sitting in front of him in my bra and panties.

"Don't worry, you're beautiful," he said reading the expression on my face.

He undid his jeans and slid them off. Then he kissed me again, and we lied down on the blanket. Our kiss got more intense, and John wrapped his arms around me and unhooked my bra. I slid his underwear down his legs, and he did the same to me. We were both fully exposed, and John positioned himself on top of me. I wrapped my arms around him, and we began to make love, carefully and slowly at first. It was unlike any feeling that I had ever experienced. I felt totally in sync with him. He looked deeply into my eyes as he moved in and out of me. He placed small, nibbling kisses on neck, as I let out small moans. He name escaped my lips a couple of times, and lied underneath him in complete bliss throughout the warm, summer night.

The sun hit my eyelids hard and forced me to wake. I looked around and suddenly all the memories from last night came flooding back to me. I looked to my right to make sure it was just a dream, but it wasn't. John's naked body was lying next to mine.

"No," I said to myself. I let him do exactly what Paul warned me of.

I got up quickly, my joints and bones were still sore, and I had the faint trace of a headache. I gathered my clothes and put them on. John started to stir.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes, "Uh, me head."

He looked at me, "Where ya going?"

"I'm sorry John. Last night was a mistake. Paul warned me, but…."

"Hey," he said getting up.

He put on his underwear and jeans and then he kissed me, "I don't care what you've heard people say about me. Last night was not another one of my charades, it was real. What I felt was real. Out of all the girls I've been with, I haven't felt that before. I love you, and it wasn't a mistake. I wasn't just sex. I actually made love for the first time."

I smiled, "I don't know what to say John."

"Don't say anything," he leaned close to lips and kissed me, "I love you."

I kissed him back, "I love you too, but I really have to go, my dad."

I started to walk away, "Tell him you were at Paul's house," I heard John say.

"What?"

"Your dad, tell him you spent the night at Paul's house."

I smiled, "Thanks John."

"Oh and Sasha," John said running up to me, I turned to face him, "Come by me house at one for lunch."

"Will do," I said smiling at John.

I walked away. I knew that I was glowing with happiness, and I had never been more excited for lunch in my life.

 **Author's Note: Please review!**


	7. Chapter 7: Hello Little Girl

**Something**

 **Chapter 7: Hello Little Girl**

 **August 1, 1957**

The bright sun came through the curtains casting a small pool of light on Sasha's face. She awoke and sat up feeling the muscles pop in her back. She had arrived home this morning just in time to eat some of her dad's pancakes for breakfast. When she told him that she had gone to the party, spent the night at Paul's house, and they hadn't got much sleep; therefore, she was going to take a nap, he bought it with no questions asked.

She looked over at her clock: 12:05.

 _Crap! I have to get ready to go meet with John!_ She thought as she hastily threw the covers off of her and ran to the bathroom. She got in the shower quickly and dried and fixed her hair. She applied her make up and walked back to her room to get dressed in her favorite pink dress.

The phone on her desk rang, and she answered, "Hello?"

"Hey Sasha, it's John," John said on the other line in his cute accent.

"Hey, how'd you get this number?"

"Paul gave it to me," John chuckled.

Sasha laughed, "Okay. What's up?"

"I was wondering if you could bring your guitar along," John said.

"Sure. I guess I could," she replied.

John spoke again, "Alright, love you."

Sasha smiled, "Love you too, John."

She heard the phone being hung up on the over line and smiled as she put down her phone. She couldn't believe that it was almost three days in town and she had already fallen in love and had her first time.

John was wonderful, despite all the rumors she'd heard about him. She didn't listen to what people told her about John because he didn't act the way people described around her. She got out her notebook and wrote her thoughts down for song ideas later.

She grabbed her dark brown Taylor guitar that her dad had bought her for her fourteenth birthday and put it in its case. She grabbed her purse off her desk and walked downstairs and out the front door with her guitar in tow.

She spotted John walking toward her house. As he got closer, she noticed and red guitar swung around him and resting on his back and that he was smoking a cigarette.

She walked up to him when she got to the end of the sidewalk, "I thought I was coming to your house for lunch."

He looked in her eyes through his Buddy Holly style glasses, "Well, change of plans. We're going to me mum's house."

"Your mom?" Sasha asked.

"Yep. She invited me. I told her you were going to come along, and she can't wait to meet you. And don't worry she's nothing like Mimi," he grabbed Sasha's guitar and put it in his left hand.

Then he kissed her, put his cigarette out on the street, and grabbed her left hand with his right and they started walking.

Halfway there Sasha finally spoke, "I didn't know you smoked."

"Well I do," he said.

She looked down at the ground as they walked. John was acting differently today. He was acting more like what people described him as. It confused her. Didn't he feel as electrified over what they had shared last night? The silence between them was almost uncomfortable.

 _Maybe Mimi had made him mad this morning._ She thought as they stepped onto a field.

John sighed, "You mad at me for last night?"

"No John, it was absolutely wonderful," Sasha looked away from him, "It was my first time though."

"It was?" John asked stopping them in the field.

"Yeah," she said looking at him.

He let go of her hand and put his hand to his forehead, "Now I feel even more horrible."

"Why do you feel horrible?"

John sighed, grabbed her hand, and they started walking again, "Well, I mean, I kind of took advantage of you with the drinking and all that. I felt bad because you're a really nice girl, and I didn't really know if you wanted to do that."

"Well, don't feel bad," Sasha said, "I didn't particularly want to until we starting doing it because I was a little scared and a lot nervous."

John looked at her, "I just don't want you to feel like you're another one of my one night stands. I just act like that because I find those types of girls that are willing to do anything and partly because I'm a teenage boy who feels like he can do whatever the hell he wants."

"I don't feel like that John, I promise."

They stopped at the edge of the field and at the beginning of a suburb street.

John grinned at her, "Good, because you're not like those other girls. You're different, and that's a good thing."

John leaned down and started kissing her.

She pulled away after a few moments, "John, I'm not trying to kill the moment or anything, but I'm kind of hungry.

John laughed and put his arm around her, "Okay. We're here."

They walked up to the first house on the street. It was a cute little house that screamed 'Suburb family.' It was even complete with a white picket fence. John walked Sasha up the sidewalk and onto the front porch.

John knocked and a red headed woman answered, smiled, and brought him into a hug, "My dream!"

She pulled back and elbowed John playfully, "John, who's your friend here?" On the word friend she winked to him.

John cleared his throat and put his hand on the small of Sasha's back, "Mum, this is Sasha," he turned to her, "Sasha, this is me mum."

"You're so beautiful," John's mom said, and then she leaned over to John and whispered loudly so that Sasha could hear, "You've got a winner John."

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Lennon," Sasha said smiling at her.

John's mom laughed, "Don't be silly. Call me Julia. Your accent let me have a guess. You're from America, but you're from the south."

"I'm from Nashville," Sasha said quietly.

"I knew it! Well, look at me being rude. Come in," Julia said stepping back inside.

John took Sasha's hand again and led her inside. Then, he let go to put their guitars on the couch in the living room. The living room was kind of simple. There was a couch and two chairs. Opposite the couch was a piano, beside that was a record player, and a banjo was sitting in the corner behind one of the chairs.

"You don't have a guitar case?" Sasha asked John as he led her to the dining room.

John looked over to her, "Nope. I get along without it just fine, too."

They sat down at the table and Julia brought three glasses of lemonade.

"Mum, what are we having for lunch?" John asked her.

Julia smiled at him, "I fixed some Scouse."

She left and Sasha leaned over to John, "What's Scouse?"

John chuckled, "It's what Liverpool is famous for. That's why we're called Scousers. It's like stew, you'll like it."

Julia brought out John and Sasha's bowls and then came right back and sat down with hers. Sasha tasted it and it was delicious. They all sat in there for almost two hours talking and eating. After lunch, John led Sasha to the living room and Julia went to do some laundry in the backyard.

"I want you to play something for me," John said.

Sasha looked away from him and then back to him, "I don't usually play for people. I would play for my mom and my best friend back in Nashville, but that's it."

John smiled, "Come on. Play me a song that you wrote, and I'll play you one that I wrote."

Sasha got her guitar out of its case and grabbed her pick, "I wrote this one about my best friend and I starting high school and something she went through that year. It's called fifteen."

Sasha started strumming the opening chords and then she sang.

 _You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors  
It's the morning of your very first day  
And you say hi to your friends you ain't seen in a while  
Try and stay out of everybody's way_

It's your freshman year and you're gonna be here  
For the next four years in this town  
Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say  
"You know, I haven't seen you around before"

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you  
You're gonna believe them  
And when you're fifteen feeling like there's nothing to figure out  
Well, count to ten, take it in  
This is life before you know who you're gonna be  
Fifteen

You sit in class next to a redhead named Abigail  
And soon enough you're best friends  
Laughing at the other girls who think they're so cool  
We'll be outta here as soon as we can

And then you're on your very first date and he's got a car  
And you're feeling like flying  
And you're momma's waiting up and you're thinking he's the one  
And you're dancing 'round your room when the night ends  
When the night ends

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you  
You're gonna believe them  
When you're fifteen and your first kiss  
Makes your head spin 'round  
But in your life you'll do things greater than  
Dating the boy on the football team  
But I didn't know it at fifteen

When all you wanted was to be wanted  
Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now

Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday  
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine  
And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy  
Who changed his mind and we both cried

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you  
You're gonna believe them  
And when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall  
I've found time can heal most anything  
And you just might find who you're supposed to be  
I didn't know who I was supposed to be at fifteen

Your very first day  
Take a deep breath girl  
Take a deep breath as you walk through the doors

John couldn't believe his ears; he had never heard a song like that before. I t was like a story, but yet it still sounded like a song. John also couldn't believe her voice, and he couldn't believe that she hadn't been discovered yet.

John kissed her when she had finished playing, "You are amazing. You wrote that? And your voice and your guitar playing, everything was perfect."

"Thanks," she said putting her guitar back in its case, "Now play me a song."

John grabbed his guitar, "Okay. This one's to you."

 _Hello little girl,_

 _Hello little girl,_

 _Hello little girl._

 _When I see you everyday,_

 _I say: mm mm hello little girl._

 _When you're passing on your way_

 _I say: mm mm hello little girl._

 _When I see you passing by_

 _I cry mm mm hello little girl._

 _When I try to catch your eye_

 _I cry mm mm hello little girl._

 _I send you flowers_

 _But you don't care._

 _You never seem to see_

 _Me standing there._

 _I often wonder_

 _What you're thinking of._

 _I hope it's me_

 _And love love love._

 _So I hope there'll come a day_

 _When you'll say: mm you're my little girl._

 _It's not the first time_

 _That it's happened to me,_

 _It's been a long lonely time_

 _And it's funny funny to see_

 _That I'm about to lose my mi-mi-ind._

 _So I hope there'll come a day_

 _When you say: mm mm_

 _You're my little girl, mm mm mm._

 _You're my little girl, mm mm mm._

 _You're my little girl, oh yeah._

 _You're my little girl._

John kissed Sasha and she smiled at him, "John that was great. I don't know what to say. I mean, I've always written the songs about other people, but I don't think I've ever had someone write a song for me. Thank you."

"Sasha, I know I'm kind of late with this, but I'd like to ask you a question," John paused and Sasha nodded for him to continue, "Would you want to be my girlfriend and go steady and all that?"

Sasha kissed him, wrapped her arms around his neck, and then pulled away resting her forehead against his, looking into his eyes, "Nothing would make me happier."

 **Author's Note: John and Sasha are official! Woo! By the way, the songs used in this chapter are credited to Taylor Swift and John Lennon. Please be wonderful some more and review!**


	8. Chapter 8: Teardrops On My Guitar

**Author's Note: Newly edited. Thank you for reading!**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 8: Teardrops on my Guitar**

 **September 19, 1957**

Sasha grabbed her book bag and walked out the front door. School had started two weeks ago, and Sasha liked Quarrybank. She walked up to John's house and knocked on the door.

Aunt Mimi answered, "Oh, it's you. John told me to tell you that he's not walking you to school today."

"Okay," Sasha said turning around and walking away.

As she walked to school, she pondered some reasons why John wouldn't walk her to school. She finally settled on the reason that he may be sick and not going to school today.

When she got to school, she walked through the courtyard, but John was nowhere in sight. She went to her locker to grab her books for her first class. John was there at his locker next to hers with his friends gathered around.

"Hey John," she said quietly.

He turned around to face her, but he didn't say anything he just made a face and turned back to his friends.

Sasha continued getting her books in her book bag and wondering why John would be mad at her.

"Hey Lennon, when's your girlfriend gonna stop hanging about all the time," she heard one of his friends say.

Pete sighed, "Yeah John, she's even at band practice."

John laughed, "I know. It's quite annoying."

All the boys laughed. Sasha slammed her locker and walked past him, stopping and looking at him.

"Sasha, what are looking at? Sod off," John said.

His friends all laughed at her again.

Sasha felt tears building up, but she didn't let them fall. She turned around and walked to class. She sat down at her desk and wondered why John was acting the way he was. She hadn't done anything to him. He did stand her up yesterday after school, but she thought that maybe he just forgot. Their summer was romantic. They'd spent almost every day together, and some nights they'd go down to Sefton Park to make love. Up until now, John would walk her to school each morning and hang out with her in the hallway between classes.

"Hey, you're John's girlfriend," she heard someone say behind her.

A boy sat down beside her, he had a rather large nose, but beautiful blue eyes.

"I don't know," Sasha replied.

He sighed, "What do ya mean? Isn't he your boyfriend? You guys are going steady and all that."

"Well, he kind stood me up yesterday and blew me off just now."

"Ah, the real John has been revealed," The boy said, Sasha looked at him, confused, "Didn't anyone warn ya about 'im. He's cold, has no heart, and just keeps ya around for a good screw."

"Yes, I was warned, but I…"

"You didn't listen because he wooed you with his charm," The boy cut her off, "Me name's Richard by the way, but me friends recently gave me the nickname of Ringo."

"Ringo?" Sasha said, "Why Ringo?"

"Cause I wear rings when I play drums. Unfortunately, I'm not allowed to wear them at school because it's against dress code and all that."

Sasha smiled, "Oh, how come you haven't been here until now?"

"Been sick. Real sick. In hospital," Ringo said.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I hope you're better," Sasha said.

Ringo chuckled, "I'm fine, and I'm used to it anyway. I had this weird condition when I was a lad and was in the hospital most of me childhood. It just flares up occasionally now."

"Oh," Sasha said.

"What part of America are you from?"

Sasha smiled, "Nashville. Tennessee."

"Ah, music city," Ringo said, "I heard you were a good singer slash songwriter slash guitar player."

"Who told you that?"

"Heard it through the grapevine," Ringo smiled, "Anyway, would you be willing to be me band's opener?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean play before we come on. It would be good for you. I'll drum for you, and I can get some of the rest of the band to play bass and another guitar."

"I don't know," Sasha said, "In front of all those people?"

"Yeah, it's fun," Ringo said.

The teacher walked in the classroom, "Alright class, get out your English Literature books, we're reading Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare."

Ringo leaned over and whispered to Sasha, "I'll tell you the details after class."

"Richard, quiet," the teacher yelled to Ringo.

"Now silently read scene one of act one to yourselves. Tomorrow I'll be assigning parts. If I hear one peep from anyone, you'll get the ruler to the hand."

The class began reading until the bell rang. The students filed out of the classroom, and Ringo followed Sasha to her locker.

"What band are you in?" Sasha asked opening her locker.

"Rory Storm and the Hurricanes," Ringo replied.

"Oh, I saw you guys this summer. You were good," Sasha said.

Ringo smiled, "Thanks, so will you do it?"

Sasha got her history book and closed her locker, "Yeah."

Ringo scribbled down something on a piece of paper, "Okay. This is me phone number in case you decide you don't want to do it. Meet me at that address with your guitar; we're having band practice tonight at five thirty."

"Okay," Sasha said putting the piece of paper in her purse.

"You wanna tell me why you're hanging around me girlfriend," she heard John say.

"I was just introducing meself," Ringo said.

Ringo walked away, and Sasha slammed her locker and walked past John.

He grabbed her book bag and pulled her back to him, "Sorry about this morning."

"You don't want me hanging around so much anymore, I won't," Sasha pushing him away.

In her next class, she sat next to her friend Shelley, and when John and Pete walked into class, she ignored him.

When the bell rang, John caught up to her, "Sasha, I'm sorry."

"If you're really sorry, maybe I can reconsider breaking up with you," Sasha said as she kept walking.

John sighed, "Don't do that, please."

"Alright," she said turning around and facing him, "I don't get it. This summer was so magical, and we were fine up until you didn't show up for our date last night."

John didn't say anything, he just kissed her, "Sorry, going to be late for me next class."

At the end of the school day, Sasha walked outside to go home. John and his friends walked up to her.

"Hey John, when you're done with her tonight, send her over to my house. She looks like she'd be good," a boy she didn't recognize said.

John stood there and stared at her.

"Tell her John," Pete said.

John looked into her eyes, "We have band practice tonight, so you better not be there."

Sasha spit in his face, "I had plans anyway. With Ringo."

She started to walk away, but John grabbed her arm forcefully and pulled her around to face him, "You better not go anywhere with him."

"Well I am," she turned around and walked away.

She stopped and turned back around, "I see right through you John. Your bad boy image is a lie. You act this way so people can't see that you're just a big baby who is still crying about his parents leaving him years ago."

"Sasha," John yelled.

She walked away and didn't look back.

That night, she packed up her guitar and headed to the address that Ringo wrote down. When she got there, Ringo was waiting for her.

"I'm glad you came. Let's go inside. The boys want to hear you before they accept you as our opener," Ringo said leading her to the garage.

She sat down on a stool with her guitar and began playing them a song she wrote.

 _Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see  
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be  
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about  
And she's got everything that I have to live without_

 _Drew talks to me, I laugh 'cause it's just so funny  
And I can't even see anyone when he's with me  
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,  
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night_

 _He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star  
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do_

 _Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?  
And there he goes, so perfectly,  
The kind of flawless I wish I could be  
She better hold him tight, give him all her love  
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky 'cause_

 _He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star  
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do_

 _So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light  
I'll put his picture down and maybe  
Get some sleep tonight_

 _He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart  
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do  
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough  
And he's all that I need to fall into.  
Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see._

Rory, the leader of the band, smiled at Sasha, "You're perfect."

 **September 30, 1957**

Paul McCartney walked down the streets of Liverpool with his hands shoved in his pockets. He heard footsteps running up to him, but he kept walking because he had a good feeling about who it was.

"Paul, wait up," he heard John say from behind him.

Paul sighed when John started walking beside him, "'Ello John."

"You're still mad me aren't you?"

Paul stopped walking, "After the way you treated me sister, yes I'm still mad," Paul started walking again," You know, I warned her about you. If you do her like the other girls you've been with, I'll cripple ya."

"I like to see you take me, McCartney," John laughed.

Silence filled the air around them. Paul was mad about John treating Sasha the way he did. Telling her she wasn't welcome at band practice anymore. Paul hadn't talked to him since then, and Sasha hadn't either.

"So, where you goin'?" Paul heard John ask him.

"I'm going down to the Cavern. Sasha's opening for Rory Storm and the Hurricanes," Paul said.

"Is she now? Well, I think I'll join you," John replied.

Paul rolled his eyes and kept walking. They got to the Cavern and sat at a table close to the stage.

The leader of the band, Rory, came out on stage, "'Ello. I'd like to introduce you to my band's new opening act. Her name is Sasha McCartney, and she's from Nashville, TN in America. The songs she's going to play tonight are all her own. Please give a warm welcome to Sasha McCartney."

Sasha walked out on stage and picked up her acoustic guitar and slid the strap around her shoulders. Ringo came out and sat behind his drum set and two other boys came out to play electric and bass guitar for Sasha.

Sasha walked up to the microphone, "Hi, This is my first time on stage, so please be nice. And thanks for coming out tonight."

Sasha played about six of her songs that she had rehearsed with the band and then said thank you and walked off the stage. John looked around at all the people giving her a standing ovation.

Paul led him backstage to greet her. She had her guitar packed up and about to leave.

"Sasha, you were absolutely amazing tonight," Paul said hugging her.

"Thanks Paul," she said looking over his shoulder at John.

When Paul released Sasha from his embrace, John walked up to her and kissed her softly.

"I've missed you. You were incredible," John said.

Sasha smiled, "Thanks."

John turned to Paul, "Wait outside for us; I have to talk to Sasha alone."

When Paul left, John turned away from Sasha and then turned back to face her, "You know, the things you said to me that day hurt."

Sasha got closer to him and looked into his brown eyes, "But they were true. I do see right through you. You can't fool me with this front that you put up for everyone. You're going to have to let your guard down with me. I love you so much, you have to know that."

"I thought I told you already. I can let me guard down around you," John sighed, "and listen, I know you love me a lot, and I love you too. I guess I'm just afraid that you'll leave me, and to be honest with you, I've never loved someone like this before."

"John, we're learning how to do that together, but you changed when school started and your friends were around. I figured that you changed because that's the John they know. But, the John I know is opposite of a bad boy. He's a human being with feelings that's been done a lot of wrong in his life."

John was silent. The image that he'd worked years to get has been shattered in an instant by a girl that moved here three months ago from America.

"If you would consider, I would like you to open for the Quarrymen instead," John said after a few moments.

Sasha smiled, "I will. On one condition though, you have to stop being a dick toward me."

John laughed, "Okay."

Sasha flew into John's arms, "I love you."

John pulled away and kissed her, "I love you too."

John put his arm around Sasha, and they walked outside to meet Paul.

"Well, Paul, I'd like you to meet the new opening act for the Quarrymen, Sasha McCartney," John said trying to mimic Rory.

Paul laughed and turned towards Sasha, "Really?"

Sasha nodded. They started to walk off, Paul in front and John and Sasha walking behind.

"Yep. Wherever The Quarrymen go, Sasha goes. Right Paul?" John asked.

"Right," Paul agreed.

 **Author's Note: Well, Sasha is one step closer to her dream of becoming a musician. I know Ringo didn't go to school with John, but this is FICTION, so now he does. Haha! The song belongs to Taylor Swift.**


	9. Chapter 9: It's Johnny's Birthday

**Author's Note: This one is a new addition to this story, it was one of my new ideas. I hope you like it. Make sure and review to tell me what you think. I love your feedback.**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 9: It's Johnny's Birthday**

 **October 9, 1957, 10:00 p.m.**

 _Hound Dog_ roared from the record player throughout the small house. Loads of teenagers were packed into Julia Lennon's house for John's seventeenth birthday celebration. John Lennon held a beer in his right hand, and his left hand was resting over the shoulders of the love of his life. They had just played a gig at a small theater in town, and Julia promised she would throw her son a birthday party.

"John," Sasha's voice pulled him out of his thoughts, "Your mom wants you in the living room for the cake."

Sasha pulled John from the hallway into the living room. Julia was holding a white birthday cake with seventeen candles blazing in it. He blew them out once the cake got closer to him. The teenagers cheered and begged John for a speech.

Sasha stood, watching lovingly as John stood on a chair. He cheeks were red from drink, and he swayed a bit.

"Well, I just want to thank me band for being there for me," John started, "Except Pete, because he's decided that he's too clean to be in a rock and roll group, and his mummy won't let him."

The rest of the boys in the band booed, and John spoke again, "But seriously, thanks a lot boys. Also, everyone give it up for Julia. She was nice enough to let us have this party anyway."

The teenagers clapped for Julia.

"Well, ladies and gents, a toast to me band," John said raising up his bottle, "and my beautiful girl, Sasha. We'll all be big stars someday. Where are we going boys?"

"To the toppity top, Johnny!" The other boys shouted, replying to John.

John put on his best posh accent, "The toppermost of the poppermost."

John jumped down from the chair and embraced Sasha in a warm hug as everyone cheered. _Be-Bop-A-Lu-La_ started playing as John kissed up Sasha's neck. She held him close to her, but glanced at the clock on the wall.

"John, I have to go now," Sasha pulled away from him, "I promised my dad that I would be home by 11:30."

"Don't go," John whined, grabbing at her waist, "Come outside with me."

The October air was quite chilly, and Sasha stood close to John on the sidewalk in front of his mom's house.

John wrapped his arms around her, "Thank you for loving me. I hate to get cheesy, but I wouldn't want to have spent my birthday with any other girl, and I hope that it's like this for many birthdays to come."

Sasha kissed him, "John, I love you too. I'm sorry, but I really have to go now. Happy Birthday. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

John and Sasha kissed passionately once more. Sasha pulled away slowly, not letting go of John's hand until she couldn't reach it anymore.

As she walked down the sidewalk, she heard Julia come out for a smoke, and John began to talk to her.

Their voices faded as Sasha got closer and closer to her house. She was so very lucky to have someone like John to call her own.

There was a pounding on the door that jolted Sasha awake out of her deep slumber. She flipped on the lamp and glanced at her small alarm clock, 1:40. Who could be here at a time like this?

She hurried out of bed as the pounding got louder. She slipped on the silk robe that matched her silk nightgown. She already had fuzzy socks on account of the cold, autumn weather.

She scurried down the stairs, wondering how her dad hadn't woken up yet. He would probably be mad if this woke him up, he's got work tomorrow.

She looked out the window by the door before opening the door. John was standing on the porch in the same clothes he was wearing at the party. He held a pint glass in his hand with a little swig of brown, bubbly liquid at the bottom. He was leaning on the porch rail, trying not to fall over.

She knew John was roaring drunk, and she didn't want to wake her father. She opened the door slowly, and John fell into her arms.

"John," Sasha said as he breathed heavily into her neck, "Are you alright?"

John leaned away from her, stumbling and almost falling down the porch steps.

He caught himself on the railing, his pint glass crashing to the ground, "No one wants me. I get it. No one ever wanted me."

At this point, Sasha could tell that John's eyes were puffy and the moonlight reflected off of his shiny cheeks. She didn't know what she thought of the fact that John had been crying. She had never seen him cry, and he didn't seem like the type of boy that would cry.

Sasha grabbed his arm, "Come in. It's freezing out here, but please be quiet my dad's asleep, and his room is right off the living room."

John stumbled in behind her as she closed and locked the front door. He leaned against the wall, closing his puffy, hazel eyes. His heavy breathing was the loudest thing between them at the moment. Sasha wasn't sure what to do. She had never seen someone this drunk before.

"Stay here," she instructed him.

John nodded, his lips slightly parted. Sasha hurried to the kitchen and filled a tall glass up with water.

She walked back to John, who was still leaning up against the wall in the foyer. She grabbed his arm again to try and get him to her room upstairs. It was difficult to get him up the stairs. He kept stopping and leaning against the railing. He was so unsteady on his feet that Sasha thought he was going to take wrong step and fall back down them. She breathed a sigh of relief when they made it to the top. She led John to her room and sat him on the bed.

It was then that she noticed the gash on his hand, "John, what happened to your hand? Did you get into a fight?"

John looked down at his hand, "No, I think I punched the wall at Mimi's house."

He started to ramble about a bouncer that didn't let him go into the Cavern Club on Matthew Street. In John's drunken state, Sasha could barely understand him. His scouse accent was thicker and his words were slurred on top of that.

She handed him the glass of water, "Drink this. I'll be right back. Please, just stay here."

John was scaring her a bit. Her mind went to the worst case scenario as she went back downstairs to the kitchen. What if John had alcohol poisoning? He could die. She had heard those stories of college students dying from drinking too much. She pushed it out of her mind, but she had to be prepared for what might come. She grabbed a big plastic bowl from the cabinet in case John's alcohol decided to come back up the way it went down and he couldn't make it to the bathroom across the hall. She then grabbed the first aid kit and wet a washcloth to clean John's hand.

She hurried back upstairs, but was extra careful to be quiet. Her dad would kill her if he knew that John was sleeping over, and not to mention, drunk.

She went back in her room to find John sitting the exact same way as before.

He looked up at her with a goofy grin, "Loovvvveee, I missseeeddd youuuu."

Sasha shook her head as she sat on her knees in front of him. She began to clean the cut on his hand. When it was all wrapped up, she looked at him. She still didn't know what to do. He had gulped the last of the glass of water down when she was cleaning his hand.

"Would you like to stay here tonight? You can't be loud though, my dad can't hear you," she told John.

He nodded.

Sasha sighed, "Do you want to sleep in that, or do you want to take your jacket and jeans off?" I've got a hot water bottle in the bed, and I can turn the radiator up."

John attempted to shrug himself from the leather jacket he wearing, but he failed and looked frustrated.

Sasha knew she would have to baby him in this state. She helped him slip the jacket off. He unbuttoned his jeans, and she slid them off his legs. She unbuttoned the shirt he was wearing as well and tossed it in the floor with the rest of his clothes.

She got into bed and sat the bowl beside her in case John needed it. John followed her actions and lied down on his side facing her. His face was inches from hers.

Sasha brought John close to her and cuddled him. She didn't know why John was so drunk and so upset, but it must have been a major thing to make him cry. She wanted to know what had happened after she left the party, but she knew that he probably didn't want to talk about it at the moment.

"For the record," Sasha whispered to him, "I want you, even if no one else does."

John hugged her tighter and whispered, "I love you."

As Sasha fell asleep, she swore she heard John sobbing silently, but she decided to pretend like she didn't notice.

The next morning, Sasha awoke in the same position in John's arms. She pulled herself from him, and went to the kitchen downstairs. The lights were turned off downstairs and her dad's briefcase was gone, which meant he had already left for work.

She decided to make breakfast for John because she figured he would be hungry. As she was cooking, she was quietly singing a song that she had written.

"Uh, me head," she heard from behind her.

She turned to find John slowly shuffling into the kitchen and grabbing his forehead. Sasha walked toward him as he sat down at the table. She sat down on his lap and kissed him sweetly on the lips.

"Morning, John," she said, resting her forehead on his, "I hope you're hungry."

John nodded and kissed her again. Sasha stood and got back to cooking. John admired her as she flipped pancakes and poured two mugs of tea.

She handed a mug to him, "Did you sleep well?"

"I slept like a rock," he wondered why she wasn't asking him about what happened last night, "I'm sorry for coming here like that. I had nowhere else to go."

Sasha plated the breakfast and walked over to the table to sit with John while they ate, "It's okay. You can come here any time. I was worried about you though. I've never seen anyone that drunk before."

John looked down at his plate and took a bite of pancake, "I'm sorry. Mimi, Mum, and I had a bit of a falling out last night."

Sasha smiled weakly at him and grabbed his hand, "You don't have to tell me if you're not ready."

John sighed, "No, I want to tell you. I need to talk about it with someone."

They continued to eat in silence, until John spoke again, "After you left mum's house, she came outside for a smoke. I just wanted to know where my dad is, so I asked her. She doesn't know, she thinks he's in New Zealand. Bloody New Zealand. Well, she got upset with me, and then we got on the subject of me living with Mimi, and she said that Mimi stole me away from her. Mum told me that living with Mimi was supposed to be temporary thing. I got angry and left."

Sasha had been listening intently, and the last of their food was cold by now.

John continued with a shaky breath, "Mimi had cooked for me, and I didn't show up until late, and she got me a new guitar. Mum showed up, and that's when the fight happened. I don't remember all that was said, but basically, Mum cheated on my dad while he was away and had another man's daughter. I have a sister, but they don't know where she is. Dad came back and wanted to work things out, and Mum didn't care. They stood there and fought in front of me, and then they asked little, five-years-old me who I wanted to go with."

John had tears in his eyes, and Sasha's tears had spilled over, "What did you say?"

John closed his eyes, "My dad," a tear slid down his cheek, "I said that I wanted to go with my dad, and mum walked out of the house to leave me with him. She didn't care that he was going to take me to New Zealand. She didn't care that she would never see me again. I ran after her, and she pushed me away and kept walking. Mimi scooped me up and took me back home, and I never saw my dad again."

John's tears were flowing steadily down his cheeks again, and Sasha brought him into a tight embrace. She couldn't imagine the way he must be feeling. He must feel so unwanted.

Sasha pulled away and looked into his tear-filled eyes with her own, "Don't ever forget that I love you so much. If you ever need anything, I'm here."

John kissed her for a long time, until he felt somewhat better again. As they pulled away from the long kiss and looked into each other's eyes, they knew this was their forever.

 **Author's Note: Thank you so much for reading! Please comment. I would love to hear your feedback.**


	10. Chapter 10: Julia

**Author's Note: Here's the next installment. This is also a new edition because I really wanted to explore more of John and Sasha's initial relationship. The other future Beatles will appear soon!**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 10: Julia**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **February 6, 1958**

He was quite young, his dark brown eyes looking around at all of us. Paul had finally convinced him to audition for John.

"This is me mate, George, from school. He saw our show tonight, John," Paul sounded nervous speaking to John.

John lit a cigarette, "George, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

I was sat beside John in the back seat on the top deck of a double decker bus. George sat in the right seat in front of us, and Paul was in the left seat across from George. The other boys in the band had taken another bus home. John had his arm around me, holding my hand. We had just finished a gig at Wilson Hall in Liverpool. John had kept his promise, letting me open for the Quarrymen. I would only play a couple of acoustic songs before they would come on, but I love every second of it. I think people like my music; at least, I hope they do. I leaned in to John's chest. It was a bit cold on the bus considering the February air was creeping in the old, drafty bus windows.

Paul spoke up again, "He should be in the band, John."

"He should be in bed," John stated.

George chuckled, "Nah, I've been to bed, couldn't sleep."

John retracted, no one had ever matched his witty comments, "Listen Paul, I thought you had a baby face, but look at this kid," he looked at George again, "How old are ya?"

George grinned, showing his pointy teeth, "I'll be fifteen in a few weeks."

"Fifteen?!"

"John," I spoke up, "Paul's fifteen."

John scoffed, "Well, are ya any good?"

John handed George his guitar. I noticed that suddenly the young boy looked nervous. I understood. John was tough to please when it came to his band.

"Go on, George, show 'im," Paul encouraged.

George inhaled deeply and put his fingers on the fret board. He began to play the complicated tune of 'Raunchy'. My eyes went wide, and I sat up as I realized how good he was at playing the riff. John was watching George's fingers intently and nodding his head to the catchy tune. I was glad he liked him.

George finished the tune and handed the guitar back to John.

John looked to me, then Paul, then George, "You're in, son."

 **June 20, 1958**

I awoke squinting from the sliver of sunlight that was shining from in between my curtains. I rubbed my eyes and rolled over to face my bedside table. A framed picture of me and John smiling widely after one of our gigs stared back at me.

I never thought when I moved here last summer that I would've met someone like John. We were almost complete opposites when it came to our personalities, but our love of music made us overcome those things. I can't imagine myself with anyone else but him. I've never been in love like this before. This was serious, and we both knew that.

I smiled thinking about him. He was all that was on my mind these days, especially since we had graduated from Quarrybank a couple weeks ago. We were moving on to bigger and better things. We both could now focus on our music and earning that fame and fortune that we dreamed of.

I looked at the picture again, oh, how I loved him.

I got out of bed and brushed through my hair. My dad was out of town to a business conference, and I wanted to call John to have him come over and stay with me while my dad was gone.

I walked downstairs in my short, silk nightgown. I thought I'd keep it on for John, since he loved my collection of silk nightgowns and how they looked on me. The thought of John running his hands up my thighs and under my nightgown made me blush.

I heard a swift knock on the door, and John's voice calling me through the window, "Sasha, love!"

I opened the door. John picked me up and spun me around. He sat me down on my feet while kissing me sweetly.

"Oh, how I am in love with you!" John shouted, smiling.

I laughed, "John, the neighbors are probably still sleeping. It's early, you know. Come inside."

I closed the door behind him as he bounced to the living room.

I followed him, "What's got you so happy?"

John pulled a piece of paper from the back pocket of his jeans, "You're looking at the next Van Gough, Sasha McCartney."

I laughed and took the paper from him. I read carefully over the words a few times, a large smiled spreading across my face.

"John, you got into the art college. I'm so happy for you!"

I hugged him tightly. I was afraid he wasn't going to get in to any kind of college on account of his final, failing grades from Quarrybank, but he did it. As I got to know John more at the start of our relationship, I looked into his other loves beside music. Art was close behind music as his favorite things, and poetry was a close second to that one.

I envied John's artistry because I've always wanted to be able to draw and paint like he can.

I held onto him, just enjoying his arms around me, "I'm so happy."

He let go of me, "Everything's falling into place, Sasha. Say, your dad's at work right."

"Well, he just left for a business trip. He'll be gone for five days. Why?"

John smirked that famous smirk at me, "Oh, nothing."

"What?" I said, pretending to be annoyed. John played this game all of the time. I knew he was about to say something naughty.

In typical John fashion, he continued smirking as he spoke, "You know I love those nightgowns on you. They drive me crazy. It seems you've made me a little excited."

My eyes trailed down to the crotch of his tight jeans, he wasn't lying. I winked at him and walked to the kitchen.

"Would you like some tea and a soft-boiled egg?" I asked him.

He followed me into the kitchen, giving a light smack to my butt.

I turned to him, "Did I say you could touch?"

John frowned, "Get busy fixing our brekkie then."

I laughed and got the eggs out of the fridge and started to prepare breakfast for the two of us. While I worked, John came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me, holding from behind. He kissed the back of my neck tenderly.

"John?" I asked as I put the kettle on the lit burner.

"Hmm?" He replied, still kissing down the back of my neck.

"Would you stay with me while my dad's away? You know, so I don't have to be in this big house all alone at night?" I knew I was turning him on even more with the sexy tone I put in my voice.

John spun me around, "I'd stay with you every night if I could. We should get a place together. If only I had enough money to do that with you."

I ran my hand through his soft hair as he started kissing me. Our kiss turned passionate as his tongue forced its way in between my parted lips. I felt weak at the knees within seconds. Every time he kissed me, I felt this way. I would never get used to how good his kissing was.

The kettle whistled, breaking our heated embrace.

I turned and continued to fix breakfast.

John took the two cups of tea to the table, "I quite like living alone together like this."

I smiled, bringing the plates over, "I do too. If we save up enough money maybe we can get an apartment. Since I won't be going to school, I can get another job in addition to the gigs."

John took a bite of his egg, smiling, "I love you so much. You know, a year ago, I wouldn't have even considered getting a flat with a bird. That would mean we were serious, but then I met you. Loving you makes me actually consider marriage for the first time, and a family."

His voice was a bit dramatic on the words marriage and family.

I smiled, "Ooooh, scary. Not marriage and family."

John laughed, "Shut up, I'm serious. Those were things I never considered before I met you. So what about you? Do you think about those things? With me?"

I smiled and grabbed John's hand, "You know, I've always dreamed of knowing what it was like to be in love like this. I've always dreamed of the man, my knight in shining armor, who would come along and make me believe in marriage and love and family. My mom and dad were always so in love, so naturally, I wanted a love like theirs. When they got a divorce, I stopped believing in love as much, but then I met you. John, I can't see myself marrying or having a family with anyone else on this planet."

He looked lovingly at me and continued to eat, glancing up and smiling at me often. I did love him more than anything, and the future looked clear.

When we were finished eating, I took our dishes to the kitchen sink as John went into the living room. I walked into the living room as John was placing the needle on a record. 'Love Me Tender' by Elvis Presley began playing. I walked over to John and wrapped my arms around his neck. He wrapped his around my waist, placing his hands on my butt. I smirked at him, and he winked, slightly squeezing my bottom. We started to move to the slow song. This was probably the first time that John Lennon had ever slowed danced.

After the song, John made his way to the couch and sat down.

"Come here," he whispered, eyeing my body up and down.

I sat down on him, straddling his hips. I could feel the excitement that he mentioned earlier pressing against my thigh.

"Please, if you must wear clothes ever again, wear these little night gowns," John begged me, his hands resting on my bottom once more.

I unbuttoned the top buttons of his checkered shirt, "You should wear your shirts like this. I love your chest," I said, running my hands from his chest to his shoulders.

I slid my hips back and forth on him, just to drive him crazy.

He glared at me, "What do you think you're doing?"

I batted my eyelashes at him and looked sheepishly in his eyes, "Don't you want to celebrate your acceptance into the art college?"

His kissed me fiercely and ran his hands underneath my nightgown and up my stomach to cup my bare breasts in his hands.

"John," I hissed.

He removed his hands from me and undid his belt and zipper. He began to pull his jeans down, and I moved to get off of him.

He stopped, "No, you're staying right where you are."

I froze, not breaking eye contact with him as he slid his jeans and briefs down to his knees. I looked down at his naked bottom half and kissed him again. He continued kissing me as he moved my panties to the side and our flesh made contact.

"John," I called out as he began to thrust into me passionately.

He grunted and moaned as we moved in perfect rhythm with each other. As we finished together, panting, I leaned back down to kiss him again.

I got up from his lap and lied down on the couch, my legs resting over his lap.

He was panting, "I love you."

I love you too, John," I said looking at the ceiling in bliss.

 **July 15, 1958**

My dad ran into my room in the middle of the night, jolting me from my short slumber.

"Dad?"

Dad spoke frantically, "John's downstairs. He's very upset, and he wants you."

I jumped out of bed and ran down the stairs, my dad following behind me.

John was standing in the entranceway, sobbing loudly. I brought him into my arms and tried to calm him down, but it was no use. I had never seen anyone cry this hard, especially John. I looked over John's shoulder to see my dad looking sympathetically at us before silently walking to his room. Did he know why John was upset?

I pulled away from him, "John, please, you're scaring me. What's the matter?"

He sniffled and wiped his eyes, "Can we go somewhere alone?"

I grabbed his hand and led him upstairs to my room. He lied down on my bed and I lied beside him, cuddling into him.

I sighed, "Will you tell me what's going on?"

I was looking up to him. He was staring ahead blankly, tears streaming down his red cheeks at a constant rate.

"Mum's dead."

I sat up to be closer to his face, "Julia?"

He spoke louder now, "Some man ran her over. I got back home from Paul's and the ambulance and police had just showed up. She was still lying there in the street. He ran her over."

John was almost screaming with anger. He hit the bedside table, causing my alarm clock to fall and hit the floor busting the face of it.

"I'm sorry," he said sobbing again.

"It's alright. That doesn't matter," I started to cry with him.

"I was just getting to know her," he sobbed, "It's not fair."

"I'm so sorry, John," I held him tight against me.

I didn't know what else to say. I knew his heart was broken. All I could do was hold him, and hope that he made it through this. I needed to be his, the one to support him through all of this. I held him so tightly as we both sobbed. Eventually, we feel asleep on the soaked pillow.

 **Author's Note: Thank you so much for reading! Please send a review, and tell me what you think about this chapter!**


	11. Chapter 11: Some Other Guy

**Author's Note: Welcome back! Please enjoy this chapter in which we meet another future Beatle! Comment and tell me what you think. Thank you!**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 11: Some Other Guy**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **October 20, 1958**

"Johnny and the Moondogs!" The announcer at the Casbah Coffee Club in Liverpool shouted their new name into the microphone. Three boys dressed head to toe in leather ran past me up the stairs to the stage as I was climbing down them.

John followed them, "Love, you did wonderful as always."

"Thank you," I smiled before kissing him, "Rock the roof off this place."

"You know I will," John winked at me and continued climbing the stairs to the stage.

The crowd roared when he stepped on. I walked back to the dressing room to get changed out of my stage clothes, a sparkly dress that I spent hours working on.

When I got to the dressing room, I could hear the muffled sound of the boys playing rock songs and the crowd cheering and singing along. The Liverpool crowds were starting to build for us, and they like me as well. It felt good to have people compliment my singing and songwriting on the street.

After I was changed into my normal dress, I walked out into the crowd and ordered a cappuccino at the bar. The boys were singing a slower song now, so it was easier to move through the crowd. I grabbed my coffee and found a quiet table near the back to watch them perform.

I looked at John onstage. He was a natural showman, and I knew that he loved every second of performing. I stared at him as he sang the lead vocal to the ballad they were playing, totally in love. I couldn't believe that it had been a little over a year since we had our first date. John and I were so in love, and as soon as we could find the time and money, we wanted to get married. Besides doing gigs with the boys, I didn't have another job. I just did housework for my dad during the day and wrote songs. I needed to keep writing, so I could have a good catalog if I ever do make it big. John had started art school in late August and went on and on about how much he enjoyed it. Other than his mother passing away, John had been so happy. I got along with Mimi nowadays and would often visit her and have tea when John was at college. She would tell me that this is the happiest she's ever seen John. Those words made me feel good. I know that I am part of the reason he's so happy, and he's the reason I'm always smiling as well.

John also just moved from Mimi's house to room with one of his friends he made at art school. The apartment only has one bedroom, so John told me he was sleeping on a mattress in the living room floor, but it's all he can afford. After his mother died, John moved in with me for a while. My dad didn't mind. However, John felt like he was a burden and started looking for a flat for me and him. All of ones we looked at were too expensive, so we decided against renting together at the moment. When he found this roommate from Art College, he jumped at the chance to live there. The guy who he's rooming with says that John only has to pay a third of the monthly rent since he doesn't have a bedroom. I haven't been to see it yet, but John said it was close to his college.

"Excuse me."

I turned around to find a man that looked to be close to John's age standing before me. He wore all black clothing, and he even had black sunglasses on in the club. His dark hair was slicked back in a quiff. He was very handsome, there's no denying that.

He sat down across from me. I suddenly felt a little uncomfortable. Usually John was around to make all of the unwanted men go away.

"You're Sasha McCartney?" He asked in Liverpudlian accent, "John's bird?"

I grinned, "Yes. And you are?"

He took his sunglasses off to reveal the most beautiful dark eyes I had ever seen. He ran his hands through his hair. This man was probably the coolest and most modern guy I had seen in Liverpool.

He outstretched his hand across the table, "Stuart Sutcliffe. Call me Stu."

I took his hand with mine. Stu brought my hand to his lips and kissed it gently. He certainly was a charmer. I was still confused by him though.

Stu sensed my discomfort, "John lives with me."

I smiled, "You're the friend from art school. Nice to finally meet you."

"Nice to meet you as well," Stu smiled at me, "John wasn't lying when he said you were the most beautiful bird in Liverpool."

I felt my cheeks go red, "Thank you."

Stu smirked at me, "Your eyes. They're unlike any I've ever seen. The blue color is striking. I could paint with that color every day."

I smiled again. Stu was making me blush. He definitely knew what to say to women.

He laughed at my red cheeks, "I can't wait to get to know you better. John and I are already great friends. You know, you need to come back to my flat when the show's over. Me and you and John can open a bottle of champagne, and you can tell me all about yourself."

I nodded and took a sip of cappuccino, "I would love that."

"You know, you're extremely talented as well. I watched your set."

I smiled at him. By now, the boys were done with their set and had left the stage. Stu continued to compliment me until John wandered over, a beer bottle in hand.

"Sasha," he sat down next to me, "You met Stu?"

I kissed his cheek, "Yeah, he's very nice."

Stu flashed a charming smile, "Actually, John, I invited her back to our place. I just bought a bottle of cheap champagne I thought we could all share."

John kissed my lips forcefully, obviously showing Stu that I was John's, "Sounds great. Let's head there now. I'll go get our things from the dressing room, Sasha. Wait outside with Stu."

I walked along side Stu as we exited the club and stood out by the door in the alleyway. Stu took a pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket and lit one.

"You want a ciggie?" He said, pointing the box at me.

I smiled, "No thanks."

Stu look surprised for some reason, "You don't smoke?"

"No," I replied, "I never really got into it."

Stu looked around for a minute and exhaled smoke and muttered a word under his breath.

"What was that?" I asked.

Stu sighed, "It's just strange. Listen I haven't known John for as long as you have, but you just don't seem to be his type. You're a sweet girl, you know?"

I was a little annoyed, "What do you think his type is?"

Stu looked around. Just then, a girl wearing the shortest black leather skirt and highest high heels I had ever seen passed us. Her shirt was open at the top. Her ensemble left little to the imagination.

"Her," Stu said pointing at the girl.

I scoffed and turned away from him. He had only met John two months ago and me ten minutes ago. Who was he to judge the good relationship that we had going?

Stu stepped toward me again, "Don't get me wrong. John is completely head over heels in love with you. He doesn't bloody shut up about you."

John snaked his arm around my waist and kissed my neck, "Hello again, love. Having a nice chat with Stu?"

I nodded and pulled away from him, "Where's our things?"

"Oh," John said suddenly, "Paul's taking everything back to his. We can go get it tomorrow. Except, I brought your handbag with your extra clothes in case you sleep over tonight."

I kissed him lightly on those lips that I couldn't get enough of, "What'll I sleep in?"

John smirked at me, "Let's just say, you won't need pajamas."

I hit his chest playfully, and I noticed that Stu looked uncomfortable and awkward.

Stu started walking, "Well, let's get a move on."

The apartment was rather close, but it looked like a scary part of town. Stu led us up to the door, and we walked inside. The place was falling apart on the inside, and we walked up the stairs to their apartment door. Stu pulled out his key and unlocked it. I followed John and Stu inside the small apartment. It was dirty and smelled of cigarettes and paint. The living room had a coffee table, a sofa, and John's mattress. The kitchen next to it was filthy, and I know there were at least five ashtrays sitting on the table. I noticed two doors down the short hallway, which I assumed were Stu's bedroom and a bathroom.

"Well, it's not much, but it's home," Stu said, taking off his leather jacket.

"Are these yours?" I motioned to the abstract paintings that were hung on all of the walls.

Stu sat down on the sofa with the bottle of champagne and plastic cups he had fetched from the kitchen, "Yeah."

John was still gripping my hand, and he led me over to the sofa. He sat down next to Stu with me on the other side. John was being subtly territorial, and it was kind of sexy.

I placed my hand on his thigh, and kissed me fiercely on the lips.

"At least wait until I'm full of champagne and in bed," Stu said handing us both cups of champagne.

I sipped it slowly. I wasn't even halfway done with mine when Stu and John poured themselves more of the gold liquid. The three of us talked for a while. Stu was a really nice guy, and by the end of the night, I was glad that John made a friend like him. He was also an extremely talented artist that I knew would successful and famous one day.

Stu stood from the sofa and stretched, "It's time for me to head to bed. It was great to finally meet you, Sasha."

"Good to meet you too," I replied back.

"Goodnight all. Try not to be too loud, John," Stu said walking toward the bedroom.

I blushed, and John chuckled.

 **April 25, 1959**

John walked in the front door of my house carrying a rolled poster and a guitar slung around his back.

"Hello, John," I called from the kitchen, as I was baking cookies for him.

He walked in the kitchen and put his things down on the table. I felt his arms caress my body as they wrapped around me tightly.

He began kissing up my neck slowly, "I missed you a lot today. "

I smiled as I scooped the chocolate chip cookie dough on to the baking sheet, "I missed you too, so I making you some goodies."

"For me?" I could feel John smile into neck.

I opened the oven and slid the tray in. John smacked my butt as I bent over. I closed the oven and smirked at him. He wiggled his eyebrows and let out a goofy laugh. I went into the living room and sat down at the piano. John sat down close to me. I've been teaching him piano ever since he found out that I knew how. A picture of us at one of George's relative's wedding was sitting on top of the old upright piano. I smiled at it, thinking of that night. The boys played at that wedding, and all of the guests were loving them and dancing. That's when I knew that the boys and their music was definitely going to make it. John jumped off the stage in the middle of the set to let Paul and George sing while he danced with me. Paul sang 'Love Me Tender' as John slowed danced with me. That was our song. I never got tired of slow dancing with John to our song. Just then, as if he read my mind, John started playing the melody of it on the piano keys. That was one of the first songs I taught him. I looked up and smiled at him.

"Love me tender, Love me true," John started singing to me softly.

I cut him off by pressing my lips to his. I also never get tired of his lips and the way they move with mine. Every kiss was like the first one.

I pulled away keeping my face close to his, "I want you to meet my mom."

"You mom?" John asked looking into my eyes, "In America?"

I held his hand, "Dad's going to visit his siblings, and I was thinking we could fly there with him and do our own thing, including have you meet my mom. I miss her so much. I haven't seen her in two years."

John looked down at our hands, "When's he going?"

"June. Don't worry, it's when your term ends at the art college," I explained to him, "What's wrong?"

"Will she like me?" John was still looking down.

"John, look at me," he looked into my eyes once more, "I have no doubt in my mind that she'll love you. You make me happy, and that alone will make her think the world of you."

"I love you," John whispered, kissing me softly.

I look into his beautiful hazel eyes, "I love you too."

I let go of his and stood up to go check on the cookies, "Oh, John, it would be so much fun. We hang out in New York for a couple of days. We could stay with my Aunt Eileen, and then we could fly to Nashville and stay with my mom for a week or so. I could take you to the Opry one night. I can't wait for you to see Nashville. Maybe after that, just me and you could go the beach."

John watched me as I talked excitedly about all of the things I could show him in America.

He sighed. I looked at him, "What?"

"It's silly," John sighed again, "Listen, if you tell any of the lads this I'll break up with you."

I laughed, "John, don't be dramatic. What is it?"

He hesitated, "I've never been on a plane before. What if we crash?"

I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist, "The plane won't crash. I've been on planes so much. We would travel somewhere all the time when we lived in America. Besides, I'll be right beside you, holding your hand the whole time."

John kissed me, "In that case, I'd love to go to America with you."

I kissed him again and took the cookies out of the oven. I placed a couple of them on a plate and handed it to John. I got myself a couple as well and took a seat next to him on the couch.

"Better hurry up and eat those cookies," John said, smirking at me.

I looked up at him. He had chocolate on the side of his mouth, so I kissed it off, "Why?"

He was still smirking at me, and he had that look in his eyes, "That dress is killing me, and I can't wait much longer to rip it off of you."

I smiled at him and got up to put my plate in the kitchen. The cookies can wait. John had already scarfed down his cookies, and he left his plate on the couch as I grabbed his hand and began to drag him toward the stairs.

It was my turn to smirk back at him as we entered my bedroom, "My dad gets home at six. Make sure you're finished by then. I know you last a long time."

John laughed as he unzipped my dress and let it fall to the floor, "I may last a long time, but you love every second of it."

He kissed my neck. God, I loved him.

 **Author's Note: Thank you for reading this chapter. I would really appreciate some reviews telling me what you thought.**


	12. Chapter 12: Welcome to New York

**Author's Note:Thank you so much for reviewing. I appreciate it so much! Enjoy!  
**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 12: Welcome to New York**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **June 14, 1959**

I stuck the key that John had given me into the door of his and Stu's apartment. I had come to pick John up, so we could travel to London for our flight to America tomorrow. When I opened the door, Stu was sitting on the other side of the living room painting on a blank canvas.

He turned to look at me. He was wearing Buddy Holly style glasses like John wore, "Hello, Sasha."

I smiled at him and walked over to the couch, "Hello, Stu. Is John here?"

He watched me as I sat down on the couch, "He's just in the shower. Would you like some tea or anything?"

"No," I replied, "Keep painting. It looks great so far."

Stu murmured thanks and turned to continue painting. I really enjoyed watching John create art pieces for college, and I felt no different for Stu's art as well. Over the last few months, I've grown close to Stuart. In some ways, he was like a brother to me. John was happy that I got along with his new best mate as well.

Stu set his paint brush in a glass of colorful water on the coffee table. He got up from his seat and moved to sit next to me on the couch, "So, the US of A? You and John will have a great time. He's meeting your mother, right?"

I smiled at him again, "Yes. I know he's nervous about everything, but I also know that mom will like him a lot. He makes me happy, and that's all that matters."

Stu took off his glasses and set them on his thigh, "Listen, Sasha, about that," he leaned closer to me, "I'm just afraid that John will hurt you. He doesn't seem like the kind of guy who wants to settle down, you know?"

I couldn't believe my ears. Stu had only known the both of us a little under a year. Where did he have the right to tell me that the man I love is wrong for me? I stared at him in disbelief.

"He's just not right for you," Stu sighed, pausing for a while before speaking again, "I could be right for you."

"What?!"

Stu grabbed my hand, and I tried to pull from his grip, but he was too strong, "I've known for a while now that I've had feelings for you. You're so beautiful and nice, and John's just not right for you."

I shook my head and finally pulled my hand from his, "I can't believe this Stuart. I'm sorry, but I just don't feel the same way about you. Not to mention, you're John's best friend. He thinks a lot of you, and…"

Suddenly, Stuart's lips were on mine. I pulled away quickly, "How dare you? You know much I love John and how much he loves me."

"I'm sorry, Sasha. I can't deny these feelings I have for you. I could give you so much more than he could give you. Promise me you'll think about it."

I sighed, "There's nothing to think about, Stuart. I don't have those kinds of feelings for you. I never will. Please, just let it go. I don't mean to be harsh, but I don't want to hurt John. I don't want him to get the idea that I have feelings for you because I don't."

Stuart didn't reply. I didn't know how I felt about his confession. I honestly never saw it coming. I thought we were just friends. Stu and I sat in an awkward silence until John walked into the kitchen in just his white briefs. His skin was glistening, still damp from his shower. I stood from the couch and made my way over to him.

He wrapped me in his arms, "I missed you," John kissed me, "I love you."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Stuart look down at his feet with a hurtful expression on his face.

I kissed John again, "I love you too. Did you have a nice shower? Are you all packed for our trip?"

"Yes, mama," John said in an Elvis-like voice, "When are we leaving?"

I secretly loved when he called me mama.

I glanced at the clock on the wall behind him, "We should probably get going. My dad wants to make it to the airport hotel by sundown."

"Alright, let me get my clothes on and the rest of my things packed quickly. I phoned Mimi and told her goodbye for the next couple of weeks."

He let me go from his arms and finished packing his suitcase, and then he put on his jeans and a black t-shirt. He slipped on his leather jacket.

I laughed, "John, you'll get hot in that jacket in America."

He smirked, "It's part of my image, mama."

I rolled my eyes as he winked at me. Stuart had gone back to painting. He hadn't said a word to John since he came back into the room.

John picked up his suitcase and walked toward me, "Well, we're off Stu. I'll see you in a few weeks, mate."

"Bye John. Have a good time," I noticed a hint of sadness in Stu's voice, and I wandered if John had noticed it too.

John grabbed my hand and we walked out of the apartment ready for our American adventure.

 **The next day**

"Attention, passengers. Thank you for watching our air hostesses give the safety briefing. We now ask that you have your seats in the upright position and your tray tables locked in front of you. We will begin our take-off shortly. Thank you for flying Pan-American Airlines to New York City."

The captain's speech was finished with a ding. I looked over at John, who had the window seat next to me. I was in the middle, and my dad was sat on the other side of me. John was looking out the window and drumming his hands on his thighs in a nervous manner. The plane started to drive forward to take its position on the runway. John cursed under his breath and leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes.

I grabbed his hand, "It's alright, John."

My dad noticed his nervous behavior as well, "You alright, son?"

I whispered to my dad that John had never been on a plane before because I sensed that John was too nervous to talk to anyone. I kissed his jawline and squeezed his hand as the plane began the speed forward. I felt us lift off of the ground as I lost feeling in my hand from John squeezing it so tightly.

"John, we're in the air now," I reassured him.

He opened his eyes and looked at me before kissing me softly on the lips.

After a nine hour flight, we were all pretty tired when we landed in New York. My dad had to catch a connecting flight to Denver to visit his family, so we said our goodbyes to him. I led John to baggage claim, and we stood waiting for our bags to come around.

"You did well for your first time," I told him.

John smirked at me, "Shut up. It's scary up there."

Our bags made their way to us. We grabbed them and headed to short-term parking to meet my aunt. She was going to take us around New York the rest of the evening and let us stay at her place tonight. She also agreed to bring us back to the airport to tomorrow, so we could catch our flight to Nashville.

"Aunt Eileen," I screamed running toward her.

She gave me a giant hug, "Look at you. You're so grown up and beautiful. I've missed you."

I smiled at her, "I missed you too," I motioned to John, who was standing beside me awkwardly, "This is my boyfriend, John. John, this is my mom's sister, Eileen."

"Nice to meet you," John said taking her hand.

"You as well," Eileen said.

She leaned in to my ear and whispered, "He's so handsome. You did good, Sasha. Your mom will love him."

I giggled and looked at John. He smirked at me. He had obviously heard what she had said.

She laughed, "Well, let's stop standing around. We've got a big city to see, and only an afternoon to do it."

Aunt Eileen took John and I all through the city of New York. I remembered most of it from my childhood, and it was fun to see John fall in love with this electric city as well. We saw the Statue of Liberty, rode the subway, and went to the top of the Empire State Building. For dinner, we had some pizza at a little place near my aunt's apartment. Dinner was so much fun. I fell in love with John even more, which I didn't think was possible. The way he charms my family members drives me crazy. After dinner, John and I headed across the street to Central Park, my favorite place in the city. We walked around in the park for about an hour, talking and laughing. It was getting late, and we promised my aunt we'd be home before midnight.

"We need to head back soon," I told John.

He stopped walking, causing me to stop as well. He hadn't let go of my hand all afternoon, "Sasha, I really love you. I hope you know that."

The thought of Stuart's confession crept into my mind. I pushed it away quickly, "I know you do, and I love you more."

John smiled, "No, trust me, I love you more. Thank you for bringing me to this wonderful place."

He looked around where we were standing. Central Park really was magical, "You're welcome, John. I wouldn't have wanted to bring anyone else."

He kissed me, "I want to do something crazy."

He grabbed my other hand and brought me close to him. He started dancing with me and singing 'Love Me Tender' in my ear. We danced for the entire song, and when we stopped, we kissed each other in a heated embrace.

I pulled away, "I love you, but we need to walk back now."

"I love you too, Sasha," John grabbed my hand.

We walked down the streets of New York, kissing and talking.

The next morning, John and I slept in. My aunt and uncle prepared a large breakfast. It was John's first time having American breakfast food, so we laughed at his reactions. After breakfast and a naughty shower that me and John shared, my aunt took us back to the airport for our flight to Nashville.

It felt like no time, and we were walking through the tiny airport in Nashville. Then, I saw her. I had missed my mother so much. I let go of John's hand and ran into her loving arms.

 **Author's Note: Is Sasha's mom going to like John? Thank you for reading. I'd love to hear what you think.**


	13. Chapter 13: In Spite of all the Danger

**Something**

 **Chapter 13: In Spite of all the Danger**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **June 16, 1959**

"Mom, this is John," I told her, pulling away from our hug.

She stepped toward him and brought him into a hug, "Oh, John! I've heard so much about you."

It caught John off guard when my mom brought him into one of her tight, loving hugs. He looked awkward at first, but the he relaxed and hugged her back. My mom finally pulled away, smiling at him.

"It's nice to meet you as well," John was grinning at her.

My mother sighed and looked at him, "You're so handsome, and that accent! Thank you for making my daughter so happy."

"Moommmm," I whined, my cheeks turning red.

John laughed, "It's no problem. She makes me happy."

John looked at me, smirking. This time my cheeks turned red from flattery and not embarrassment. I followed behind my mom and John to the car. They were getting along really well, and it made all of my insides light up. I loved John so much, and to know that my mom loved him also, made the love much stronger. I could tell this trip would bring me and John closer together as a couple, but I still couldn't shake the thought of Stu's confession.

My mom pulled through the front gates of my old house. I was in the backseat with our suitcases whilst John was sitting in the front next to my mom.

"Wow," John looked around through his glasses in awe, "This place is huge."

I realized then how much I had missed our big ranch home in Nashville. The sun was setting in the distance. I could see our four horses still trotting about on all of the acres that we owned. I missed the land, the pasture, how it stretched for miles. The big, white ranch house still looked beautiful with its wrap-around porch and red-painted front door.

I got out of the car after we parked in front of the garage. John grabbed our things from the backseat.

My mom stood next to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulders, "Welcome home, Sasha."

"Thanks mom. I didn't realize how much I missed it until now."

John was walking up the front porch steps, "Come on. I want to see inside."

"John," I said walking toward him. I loved seeing him here, in Nashville.

My mom walked past us to unlock the front door as me and John snuck in a little kiss. John followed my mom through the front door with me trailing closely behind.

"This is massive," John exclaimed, setting our bags down by the stairs.

I missed home.

Mom turned to us, "Sasha, go show John your room while I finish dinner. Be downstairs by seven. I cooked a traditional southern meal for John to try."

"With sweet tea?" I questioned.

Mom laughed, "What kind of a question is that? Of course, I fixed sweet tea for you."

I smiled at her and motioned for John to follow me up the stairs to my room. When I walked through the door, everything was how I had left it two years ago. The one guitar I left, my first one, was sitting in the corner. My desk that I used to do homework and respond to Paul's letters was in the messy state that I left it in. I found it odd that Mom hasn't come in here and cleaned it up a bit.

John looked around before plopping down on my big bed, "I'm knackered. Do you think I have time to take a nap?"

I sat down next to him, "You just got here. Wait until we go to bed tonight to sleep."

John leaned in and kissed me, "I love you. I can't keep from saying that all the time. What's gotten into me? I'm supposed to be hard and rock 'n' roll."

I gave him a kiss on the cheek, "You can be that all you want, but there's nothing wrong with telling me you love me. I love you too."

"You're room is huge. It's a bit different than mine," he said, smiling, "This bed is pretty big too. Lots of room to move around."

I smacked his chest, "John," I knew what he was implying.

"Dinner!" My mom called up the stairs.

John and I made our way to the kitchen. Mom had the table set with my sweet tea, of course. She had fixed fried chicken, mashed potatoes and white gravy, and country style green beans. It was going to be great to have a country meal again. John loved it; although, he thought the white gravy was a bit different. I was surprised that he actually enjoyed the sweet tea as well. Over dinner, mom asked him all about himself, and John had no hesitations when sharing his story. The whole dinner we held hands. I think my mom noticed, but she didn't mind. She knew that I was so happy with him.

After dinner, we sat and talked for a while. John and I headed to bed while mom was still cleaning the kitchen. She told us that we could go ahead and go to bed since we looked so tired from all of the traveling. When I was ready for bed, I walked back into my room from the bathroom and closed the door. John was lying on the bed in nothing but a smile.

I laughed at him, "What's this?"

"Join me, mama," John said in his sexy tone.

I laughed again, "We can't do this. Not here."

"We'll be quiet. Your mom won't hear us," John pleaded, "We've had lots of practice being quiet at Mimi's house."

I lied next to him, "Alright, but only because I'm so in love with you."

We made love, quietly. John rolled off of me to my side and brought me close him when we had finished.

I sighed, nuzzling my head in neck, "My mom liked you a lot, you know?"

John kissed my forehead, "It's crazy to me. I've never wanted to impress a bird's parents so much in my life."

I stayed silent for a few minutes. I was glad that I could bring out the sensitive side of John, the real John, "I love you."

John said he loved me more, and I fell asleep with my head on his chest listening to his heartbeat.

 **One week later**

John and I had just boarded our flight back to England. My mom loved having us and made me promise that we would come back and visit soon. I had been beaming this entire trip, loving how John fit in so easily with my American family members.

The week in Nashville was a dream come true. I got to show John all of things that I loved to do when I lived here. I taught him how to ride a horse, which was kind of hysterical. I took him to the Opry one night, the place where I fell in love with country music. John loved New York and Nashville, and I was so glad.

Soon, the plane was in the air, and we were flying back to our little life together in England. My head was resting on John's shoulder, and his head was resting on mine. He had fallen asleep and was snoring softly. Stu's confession before we left had been looming over my thoughts the entire trip. I debated on whether or not to tell John for the next seven and half hours back to Heathrow airport.

When me and John arrived at the airport in London, we caught a train that would eventually take us to Liverpool. I got a taxi when we arrived in Liverpool with the last of the money my dad had given me. Even though we were tired, we promised Mimi that we would come to her house the first night back to tell her about our trip.

John led me up to his bedroom after our long chat with Mimi over tea. I cuddled next to him on his tiny bed.

"I loved your big, comfy bed, but I love mine even more because it forces you to cuddle with me all night," John said, laughing.

"Nothing has to force me to cuddle with you." I smiled at him.

John stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, "You wanna go to the Jacaranda tomorrow night?"

"Is it the jazz bar that all the art kids hang out at?"

John looked down at me, "Yeah, it's fun, I promise. We could go there first and maybe head over to the Blue Angel after for some serious dancing."

I smirked at him, "Are you asking me out on a date?"

"Well, yes and no."

I looked at him, confused.

He smiled, "It will be us together, and I was thinking of inviting the guys as well. It's been a while since we've all been out for fun and not just for a gig. I'll invite Paul and George and Stu, you know?"

I stiffened at the mention of Stuart and hoped John didn't notice.

"Sound fun?" He asked.

I sighed, "I can't wait."

I closed my eyes. I was dreading tomorrow night.

 **The next night**

I was grinding against John, my back to him. Other couples were gawking at the provocative way we were dancing with each other to the slow rock 'n' roll song. John was kissing up my neck, running his hands up and down my body.

"You wanna move this to the toilet?" John asked.

I could feel his excitement pressing against my butt as I rubbed up against him. I shook my head no. He groaned. I could tell that he was dying for release. I was having fun. I felt like John, making Stu jealous. The entire night I've been extra touchy with John to let Stu know where I stand.

We had gone to the Jacaranda first, but after a couple drinks, we were all bored and decided to come over to the Blue Angel for some more drinking and dancing. Paul, George, and Stu had come along with us. Paul was also on the dance floor with his new girlfriend, Dot. I thought she was nice and a good fit for my brother. We had become friends as well. George and Stu were sitting at a small table off to the side drinking one beer after the other.

I noticed Stu staring at me and John as I turned to face him. I grabbed him through his tight jeans, and he hissed. I kissed him fiercely. I wanted to make sure that Stu could the see the whole thing. John grabbed my arm roughly and started dragging me to the bathroom. I knew his tight, drunken grip would leave a bruise on me. Half way to the bathroom, he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. I saw Stu stand as John barged into the men's room.

John pushed me into a stall and pushed me against the door. He hastily unzipped his jeans and picked me up. He entered me roughly, and I screamed out in pleasure.

After a few slow thrusts, he picked up the pace, practically slamming my body into the door with each thrust. I screamed and moaned his name. He did the same with mine. I just hoped the people outside in the club couldn't hear us.

John was panting heavily in my face. His breath reeked of alcohol and cigarettes. I knew John was drunk, but I didn't care. I was having the time of my life. Seeing Stu's face all night made it all worthwhile.

I heard the bathroom door open right when John spanked me, thrusting into me harder and faster. I screamed out in half pain and half pleasure.

"Sasha, are you alright?" I heard Stu's voice and internally groaned.

I was panting heavily, out of breath, "Get out of here Stu."

Stu knocked on our stall door, "Is he hurting you? I know he's aggressive when he's drunk."

"Ignore him," John growled as he picked up the pace again.

I rolled my head back, "John, don't stop."

I was shaking as John also came and pulled out of me. He kissed me on the cheek and zipped his jeans back up. I fixed my dress and took his hand. We walked out of the bathroom and toward the table that Paul and Dot had just sat down at. George was there too, laughing with Paul about something. Stu was sitting across from George looking down at his beer.

John and I approached the table and sat down next to Paul and Dot.

"Have fun?" George asked, smirking. He got a little more talkative and confident with each sip of alcohol.

John laughed, "You're just jealous, son."

George scoffed and took another swig of beer. Dot was blushing, trying not to make eye contact with me. I looked up at John and noticed the hickeys on his neck and my lipstick smeared all over him. No doubt I had some pretty gorgeous hickeys as well.

Stu suddenly spoke, "John, can I speak to you? Outside?"

John put down his umpteenth empty pint glass and wobbled as he stood, "Sure, mate."

I watched as Stu and John walked out of the club together. I was nervous; my stomach feeling like it was going to implode. What was Stu going to tell him?

We all waited at the table for what felt like hours. I could feel myself sweating.

"I'm going outside to check on them," I said, standing from the table.

Paul broke away from him and Dot's make out session, "We're coming too. I just need to buy another drink for the road, and I'll meet you out there."

I practically ran across the club and up the short flight of stairs. When I got outside, I looked around. John and Stu were nowhere in sight. Suddenly, I heard John slurring profanities into the nighttime air. I also heard some other commotion coming from the alley across from the club. Paul, Dot, and George emerged from the club.

Paul rubbed his head, "What the bloody hell is John yelling about?"

I ran across the street and into the alley. When I arrived, John threw another punch at Stu.

"John, stop," I screamed.

John turned to me, holding Stuart by the collar of his shirt. John's lip was busted, but that's all the damage that I could see on him. Stu was the one who alarmed me. He eyes were swollen and blood was pouring out of his nose. He was wobbly on his feet and looked like he could pass out at any moment.

John pushed Stu against the wall and punched him again, "Sasha, go away. I don't want you to see this," he slurred at me.

John grabbed the side of Stu face and slammed his head against the brick wall behind him. I screamed for him to stop, but he did it again.

Paul and George ran past me and pulled John off of Stu. Stu slid down the wall to the ground, bringing his hand up to his head.

John tried to break free of their grip, but Paul and George wouldn't let him budge. I stood in shock, and John breathed heavily and stumbled back and forth.

"John, calm down," Paul said slowly to him, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"He's in love with her," John yelled, pointing to me, "He has the fucking guts to love her."


	14. Chapter 14: Forever and Always

**Something**

 **Chapter 14: Forever and Always**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **June 26, 1959**

I couldn't believe what I had just seen. Stu was John's best friend. I knew John thought the only way to solve problems when he was drunk was to get physical, but I never thought he would harm a dear friend. Paul and George were still holding John back from Stu until he calmed down a little. No one had spoken since John yelled the reason he was practically killing Stu. I hadn't move from my spot, but I looked at Stu and was so worried about him. I hadn't spoken to him since he kissed me and told me his feelings. God, I hope he didn't tell John he kissed me.

I walked slowly over to Stuart, who was still sitting on the ground, and knelt down next to him. I wasn't sure how John would react to me helping Stu. He had a pretty large gash on the side of his forehead from where it was slammed into the brick wall twice.

I moved his hair, which was matted with blood, off his forehead, "Stuart? Are you still with us? Are you okay?"

Stu began to speak but started coughing uncontrollably.

"What are you doing helping him?!" John must have just turned to see me knelt down beside Stu.

I looked at Paul, "Take John to his flat. George, come with me."

"Where are we going?" George slurred to me.

I grabbed Stu's cold hand, "We're taking him to the hospital. I want to make sure he doesn't have a concussion," I looked at Dot, who was shaking from fear. She had never seen this drunken side of John before.

Paul started to drag John away from the scene, "Look at her. She's cares for him too. I should've known you were sleeping with him all along!"

Paul told John to shut up as he dragged him further away from us. I ignored John's comment. I knew he wouldn't remember it in the morning.

"Dot, can you go inside the club and call us a taxi?"

She nodded and headed back to the club's entrance.

Stu eyes keep opening and closing slowly. I was still knelt beside him making sure he was alright.

"I'm sorry," he suddenly spoke.

"About what? You're the one that's so hurt."

He looked into my eyes, "I shouldn't have told John how I feel about you. He's me best mate, and I just wanted him to know. I also told him to take good care of you, and that you don't feel the same about me. I don't want him thinking you're sneaking around with me."

I sighed, "Stu, I don't know what to say. I just want to make sure you're not seriously hurt. I'm sorry he did this to you."

Stu spoke slowly again, "Somehow, I knew this would happen. Maybe telling him while he was pissed wasn't a good idea," Stu gave a weak chuckle.

I heard George laugh from behind me. I grabbed Stu's hand, "Save your energy."

The taxi pulled up, and Dot got in the front seat next to the driver. George and I helped Stu off of the ground and sat him between us in the backseat of the taxi.

They've had Stu back in the emergency unit for a while, and I was worried that he wasn't okay. I had my head resting on George's shoulder. He had his arm around me. If John saw George this close to me, there's no telling what he would do. I didn't want to think about it.

Dot had gone home when we arrived at the hospital. I think she was still shook up from tonight's events.

George's head had fallen to rest on my head, and I could hear him snoring above me. Just when I began to close my eyes, the doors slid open, and Stu walked out with a bandage around his head.

"George, it's Stu," I said standing.

George nearly fell over when I stood, "Huh?"

I walked over to Stu, "Well?"

"I'll live," he chuckled, "Doctor said that if I had had a few more hits, then I would have had a concussion. I had to get stitches in me head though, and I have to wear this dumb looking bandage."

I nodded. I watched Stu as he signed some release papers at the receptionist desk. I had no idea what he was thinking when he decided to tell John his feelings. He looked a little better than when I found him, though. The nurses must have cleaned most of the blood off of him. He had two black eyes along with the bandage.

George called another taxi for us, but he didn't join us on the taxi ride to Stu's place. Against my wishes, he set off through the streets of Liverpool back to his own home.

When we arrived at Stu's apartment, he took off to bed, thanking me for helping him. Paul was sat on the couch with a cup of tea, and John was passed out on his mattress.

I sat next to Paul, and we stared at each other in confusion and disbelief over tonight's events.

 **November 2, 1959**

"Germany?" I asked John to clarify.

We were sitting on the couch together watching Stu paint. After the incident this summer, John and Stu had grown closer as friends. I didn't understand men. All was well between all of us. The boys and I had had a gig tonight at the Casbah Club, and a man that had been watching us for some time finally approached John.

John was giddy and excited about the opportunity, "Yes, Sasha. Hamburg, Germany. Allan Williams wants to manage us. Can you believe it? A real life manager. I told him that he has to manage you as well, and he agreed."

"I don't know, John. When would we be going?"

John grabbed my hand, "He said we could leave at the beginning of February. We just have to find a proper drummer first. It will be great, Sasha. Mr. Williams said that all of the great talent goes to Hamburg to play. We would play the clubs every night and make a decent amount of money doing it. We could get discovered there. Finally, we could get a break and become famous."

I sighed, "John, I don't think my dad will let me go all the way to Hamburg. We don't even know where we're staying or how long we'll be there."

"This is an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Your dad can't stop you from doing this. You're not a child anymore," John pleaded with me.

I knew convincing my dad was going to be tough, but John was right. This could be the moment we've all been waiting for. I could finally become the famous musician I've always wanted to become. It was all too good to be true.

"Alright, John. You know I'm not going to let you guys go without me."

John kissed me, "I knew you would go. I love you. No matter what happens that won't change, okay? No matter how rich and famous we get, I'll still love you. Forever and always."

"Forever and always," I replied.

 **January 18, 1960**

John and Stu burst through my front door without knocking. I was glad my dad was at work. I was just writing a song on the piano when John and Stu popped into the living room.

Stu was carrying a shiny electric bass guitar.

"What's that for, Stu?" I asked him whilst hugging John.

John kissed my forehead, "Well, tell her Stu."

"I'm joining the band. I'm the bass player."

I hugged Stu, "Stu! This is great. You can go to Hamburg with us."

"Yep, he'll be the perfect addition," John said sitting on the couch, "Stu sold one of his fabulous paintings yesterday, and I convinced him to buy a bass guitar with the money from it."

Stu sat down in the chair opposite John.

I sat down next to John and let him put his arm around me and pull me close, "So, all you guys need now is a drummer, and we're all set!"

John kissed me again, "Paul thinks he may know someone, but we shall see about the drummer."

We sat there in my living room for a while. Stu was practicing some things that Paul had taught him on the bass guitar, and John and I were cuddling. I was kissing his neck, and he would lean down and steal kisses from my lips as well. I had missed him while he'd been away at class all day.

"Sasha?"

I looked up at him, "Yes, John?"

He hesitated, "The band's got a new name."

"And what's that?"

His face lit up, "The Beatles."


	15. Chapter 15: Searching

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading. The boys and Sasha are off to Hamburg, where a crazy new lifestyle and drama awaits them.**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 15: Searching**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **February 15, 1960**

"This is Pete Best, our new drummer," Paul introduced me to the quiffed-haired man standing in front of me.

He took my hand and kissed it softly, looking into my eyes, "A pleasure to meet you."

I smiled at him as Paul laughed, "Better not let John see you flirting with me sister like that. He'll have your head," he warned the new drummer.

Pete turned a bright shade of red and dropped my hand. He mumbled an awkward sorry as he walked away to talk to George.

"Where'd you find him?" I asked Paul, who had momentarily stared into space.

"Oh," he said, turning back to me, "We auditioned him yesterday. He's pretty good and fits in well."

I smiled at him, "He seems like a nice guy."

Paul and I stood in silence for a few moments. The air around us was filled with sea air and a stout nervousness for the adventure that we found ourselves beginning. We were leaving this morning for Hamburg. Standing on Albert Dock, looking at the ship that we were taking to Hamburg, was quite nerve-racking. The dock workers were just now loading Allan Williams' van onto the boat, so we could drive to Hamburg when we arrived in Holland. I looked over at Paul again, who had just lit a cigarette. We had all said goodbye to our loved ones this morning.

"Listen, Paul," he turned to me, "I would never tell John this because he's too excited about all of this, but I'm nervous that this is going to be different than what we think. I mean, Allan's kind of shady if you ask me."

"I know what you mean, but something in me tells me that this will be good playing experience for all of us. When we're famous, we'll have to play gigs every night. It's great practice, you know? I'm scared too, though. Hell, I don't know any German."

I laughed, "Me either."

"Do you think he's nervous?" Paul asked.

"Who?"

"John. Do you think he's as scared as us?" Paul clarified his first question.

I knew that Paul looked up to John as if John was his big brother. I love the both of them, but they were so different from each other.

I sighed, "I know it seems like he's not, but he's very good at putting up a front. I know John is nervous and scared. He would just never admit in a hundred years. We talked about it for a long time the other night. It's exciting at the same time. We just don't know what to expect."

Paul brought me into a hug and thanked me for the talk. We walked over to George, Pete and Stu. John was talking to Allan and the assistant that was traveling with Allan. No words were spoken between us. I think we were all nervous. Our belongings had already been loaded onto the ship, and there was no turning back. We were off to Hamburg. We didn't know when we'd see Liverpool again because we didn't know how long we were going to be doing shows in Hamburg.

John finally walked over to us, "Everything's ready to go. He said we could get on the boat now."

The other boys started boarding the boat. I stayed behind with John as he looked around Liverpool for the last time for now.

"Goodbye Liddypool. I might be a changed man when I return."

"John," I quietly got his attention, "I don't know if I can do this."

He turned to me, "What do you mean, mama?"

"We don't know any German. We have no idea what Hamburg is like. We don't know where we're playing or where we're staying. We don't even know how long we'll be there. There's a lot to be scared and nervous about. It's a lot to think about and take in, and I'm trying for you," I explained to him.

John brought me into a hug and whispered in my ear, "I know it's scary, but I swear I will take care of you. I will keep you safe."

"I do feel so safe with you. I love you," I mumbled into his shoulder.

He broke the hug and leaned in for a passionate kiss with me.

"Okay! Get a room or get on the boat!" Stu yelled.

John broke our kiss and took my hand. He yelled back to Stuart as we walked toward the boat, "Sod off, ya bloody wanker!"

I rubbed John's back as he leaned over the side of the boat to empty the contents of his churning stomach once more.

We were about an hour away from our destination on mainland Europe. John had been sea sick the entire journey. I felt so bad for him, but at the same time, I didn't blame him. The boat had been rocking back and forth on the rough waters. John's stomach just didn't get along with ocean travel.

"John, we're almost there. You'll be okay," I reassured him as he coughed and puked again.

He leaned up from the side and faced me, "I don't know. I'm feeling worse than earlier."

I rubbed his back again as he leaned back over. He looked pale and felt clammy. I silently hoped it was just seasickness and not anything more serious.

As John got sick again, I wished we were back in Liverpool.

We arrived on the outskirts on Hamburg at about one in the morning. After our ship docked in Holland, we piled into Allan's van and drove across the border to Germany. John was feeling a lot better, but we were all tired and ready for some sleep. It had been a long day for all of us.

The lights of the Reeperbahn district, where all the clubs in Hamburg were, were bright and blinding to all of our tired eyes. All of us looked out the windows in disbelief at the interesting characters and advertisements we saw. Women were dressed with little left to the imagination, and men were chasing after them and stumbling from drunkenness. I had pictured a club district like the one in Liverpool but nothing like the filthiness that I saw all around me.

The van came to an abrupt stop, and Allan told us to gather our belongings. He hastily told us that this was the club we would be playing at. It was a little red, dingy building with bars on the windows and loud music coming from inside.

"It's called the Indra. The owner said that tonight you're all going to sleep in the room upstairs, but then he's moving you to a different place to sleep. It will be similar to the room you have here," Allan handed all of us pieces of paper that the owner of the club had provided him with, "These are the schedules of your shows. You all start tomorrow night."

I glanced over paper as Stu said what was on all of our minds, "Allan, it's says here that we're playing bloody eight hours a night!"

"That's right," he replied, "Follow us."

We began to follow him and the club owner into the door of the club and down some stairs. A drunken man stopped in front of me, "Very pretty girl."

"Watch it," John warned him, coming up behind me.

John glared at the man before he shrugged and continued up the stairs. I was frightened to be in such a place as this. John tightened his grip around my waist as we stepped foot in the loud, dirty club. A woman was on stage doing a strip routine. The other boys were gawking at her, but John looked angry.

He tapped the owner on the shoulder, "Look, we came here to play music, not back up a bloody stripper."

"Stripper's last night. Rock 'n' roll starts tomorrow night with you only," The owner explained in broken English with a heavy German accent.

We were then lead back up the stairs to the room we would be staying in tonight. The owner opened the door, and I stared in disbelief at the state of the room. It looked like it was falling apart. There were two sets of bunk beds and a spare mattress on the floor. Union Jack flags were laid on each of the beds as blankets. A disgusting toilet and sink were in the corner of the room. There was a single light bulb hanging from the ceiling.

"You only stay tonight. Tomorrow, I move you," The owner explained as left us alone in the room.

I dropped my bag by a bunk bed. I couldn't believe this was where we were staying. All that kept replaying in mind was Allan's voice saying that the permanent place we were staying was like this. I wasn't expecting the Taj Mahal, but I certainly expected more than this. Everything was so overwhelming. To tell the truth, the thought of calling my dad to arrange for me to come back to England immediately was dominating my thoughts.

"Well, we're going to explore. It looked like a riot out there. You coming, John?"

Stu asked on behalf of himself, George, Pete and Paul, whom were standing at the door ready to go.

John looked at them and back at me. I knew he could tell that I was overwhelmed and upset by this whole situation, "I'm pretty knackered. I'm gonna stay here with Sasha and maybe get some sleep."

The boys nodded and headed out into that disgusting place that was now my home.

I sat on the edge of the bottom mattress of the bunk bed that I guessed John and I would share and put my head in my hands.

John sat down next to me and wrapped his arms around me, bringing me into a tight embrace.

He rested his chin on the top of my head, "I didn't know Hamburg was going to be like this. I'm sorry I brought you to a place like this. I promise I'll keep you safe. I couldn't stand myself if anything happened to you."

I didn't say anything to John. I just let the tears I had been holding in fall in strong sobs. John held me closer. I never wanted him to let go.


	16. Chapter 16: Money (That's What I Want)

**Author's Note: Thank you so so much to everyone who has been reading! I'm so excited for this chapter! It's going to introduce some other infamous characters to the story of the Beatles! Enjoy!**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 16: Money (That's What I Want)**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **February 27, 1960**

"John, oh my…"

He cut me off with his lips, making me stay quiet concerning the fact that we weren't alone. John was on top of me and working his magic. Every time we made love it was like the first time. Unfortunately, our living situation here in Hamburg prevented us from getting the privacy we so desperately needed at times like these. All of us lived in one room behind the screen of a shady cinema called the Bambi Kino. Our sleeping arrangements were less than ideal for me and John's relationship. We shared the bottom bunk of one of the bunk beds in this tiny room. On the top of our bunk was George. Another bunk bed housed Stu on the bottom and Paul on the top. There was a mattress slid against the wall which belonged to Pete. This place was no better than the club's room we had stayed in the first night we were here. At least now we had actual sheets, even if they did look like they had been through the war. A single light bulb hanging from the ceiling illuminated the room when we needed it. I didn't mind living here now that I had gotten used to the lifestyle, and John being here made me feel a lot safer. I knew he would protect me from all the crazies and drunks that lurked the streets when we headed back here from the club after the long hours we spent there. The part I was having the most trouble getting used to was the bathing arrangements. I had no other choice, as well as the boys, but to bathe in the sinks in the cinema's dingy restrooms.

John picked up his pace, grunting and making the bunk bed move with each thrust. John was an incredible rock for me during my horrible bout of homesickness I had just started to get over. Being away from home and living in these conditions didn't seem to bother him too much. He was having the time of his life preforming every night and making money.

I moaned louder than I intended, and John shushed me, "Be quiet, love. Just like at Mimi's," he smiled through the darkness, inches from my face while he made rough love to me.

John wasn't good at being quiet, and I thought his panting was also pretty loud, "You're not so quiet yourself, mister," I whispered, joking with him.

"Ugh," we heard Stu, "John, Sasha! For Christ's sake, everyone's trying to bloody sleep."

John ignored Stu and kept thrusting into me, trying to keep his panting quiet. I could feel myself nearing the end and bit my lip to try and keep quiet. John noticed this and placed his hand over my mouth in case I couldn't control myself. John gave a few quick, hard thrusts before we both finished, and he rolled off beside me, hugging me close.

"I love you," I whispered, kissing his nose.

"Love you too, Mama," John whispered back, "Forever and always, yeah?"

"Yes," I smiled and nuzzled my face into his neck.

Soon, we both fell into a much needed slumber.

"Alright, rise and shine everyone!" Pete was yelling across the room.

I opened my eyes to find John grinning at me, "You were pretty good last night, Mr. Lennon."

"I couldn't have done without you," he cheekily replied before kissing me roughly.

His tongue had just made it into my mouth when I heard Paul sigh loudly, "You know, it's really awkward hearing this all of the time."

John pulled away from my lips, "Ah, sod off Macca," he jumped out of bed, "I'm in love with your sister, and I want everyone to know it!"

I laughed and sat up as well. I grabbed my night gown from the floor beside the bunk and put it on so no one could peak at me naked.

I stood and grabbed my toiletries bag, "John, I need to get cleaned up. Would you come with me?"

"Of course, mama," John replied snaking his arm around my waist and kissing my neck.

I pulled away from him and made my way to the door. I felt a light smack on my bottom and turned to see John smirking at me. He followed me to the restroom and guarded the door as I bathed, got dressed, and brushed my teeth. John knew the drill. He would come with me every day. John had grown so protective of me since we've been in Hamburg. He didn't want any of the weird people that visited this part of town to get any ideas about me. John's gotten in a couple of fights with guys at the club who think they have a chance of taking me home.

After everyone had stumbled around to get ready in our tiny living quarters, we made our way to the club to get some lunch. The days were long in Hamburg, but I think all of us had fallen into a routine. We didn't have to be at the clubs until lunch or early afternoon, then we would hang around until our shift started. The boys played a total of eight hours at night, with me interjecting every so often to sing a few of my songs. At the end of our shift, usually at early hours in the morning, we would go back to our room or check out what was going on at the other clubs.

I was sitting at a table with John and Stu finishing my lunch when a familiar group of guys walked in.

"Sasha!" I heard one of them call to me.

I recognized him instantly and jumped out of the booth to give him a hug, "Ringo! How have you been? I didn't know you guys were in Hamburg."

He pulled away from our hug, "Yeah, we're playing another club around here called the Kaiserkeller. You all are playing this club?"

I smiled at him, "It's not much, but at least we're getting paid."

John walked over at that time. He put his arm around my waist and held me tight. It was a little too tight for me, and I pulled away slightly. He gave me a funny look before pulling me closer again. John had been acting this way lately. He was very territorial and protective of me, which I thought was sweet most of the time until he would get a little aggressive and upset with me on certain occasions.

"I'll see you later, Sasha," Ringo said in response to John's behavior, "Have fun preforming tonight."

"I will. See you soon, Ringo."

Ringo awkwardly walked away, and I turned to John, "You're hurting me."

He released his tight grip on my waist, "I'm tired of everyone always thinking they can flirt with you all of the time. You're mine."

I was taken aback by John's behavior, "John, he was just being friendly. I haven't seen him since Quarrybank, and I didn't know his band was here preforming. He wasn't flirting with me. Calm down."

John scoffed, "I don't like the way he was looking at you."

"The way he was looking at me? He wasn't looking at me any different than Paul looks at me. You're overreacting."

"Whatever," John replied shortly to me, "Just remember that you're mine."

John walked away, and I slowly walked to the bar to sit down. I sighed and put my head in my hands. I wondered why John was acting this way all of a sudden. Maybe it was the lack of sleep.

"Boyfriend giving you trouble," I heard a woman's German accent pulling me out of my thoughts.

I looked over at her. She was sitting a few chairs down from me. She had on trendy clothes, a short blonde haircut, and a camera hanging around her neck. Next to her was a man, who was sketching a drawing on his notepad.

I sighed, "He's just… He just started acting all territorial. He thinks every guy that comes within a fifty mile radius of me wants me to go home with them. I don't know what's gotten into him."

"Maybe, it's because you're beautiful," The man beside the woman spoke up, also with a German accent.

The woman laughed, "Be careful, Klaus. You heard what she said about her boyfriend."

She moved to the bar stool next to mine. The man picked up his notebook and moved as well.

She extended her hand toward mine, "I'm Astrid."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Sasha."

She smiled, "I know. I've seen you sing. You're quite good. The boys are as well. I've been taking pictures of you all on stage. I'm a photographer," She pointed to the man beside her, "This is Klaus, an artist."

"Thank you, and nice to meet you," I laughed, "It's nice to have a female friend in a world of just men."

"I could say the same to you," she laughed, "Klaus has been doing sketches of all of you."

"That's nice. I hope we're good subjects for your art. John, my boyfriend, and our mate Stu are artists. They went to the art school back in Liverpool. I like to take pictures as well but just for fun. I'm not a professional or anything," I explained.

"We're all quite creative people, I can see," Klaus replied.

Astrid spoke again, "I would love to take pictures of the band and you sometime soon. I need some subjects. I think a band would be perfect. I know some good spots to take pictures around Hamburg."

"That would be nice. I'm sure the boys would love that," I said, "You two should meet them. Hey boys," I called them over, "Here's some new friends to meet."

The boys surrounded us at the bar, and I introduced them, "Boys, this is Astrid and Klaus. Klaus is an artist, and Astrid is a photographer. She wants to take some band shots of you guys. Astrid, Klaus, this is Paul, my brother and guitar player; George, guitar player; Pete, drummer; John, my boyfriend and guitar player; and finally, Stu, bass player and artist extraordinaire," I introduced them one by one.

I noticed that Stu struck Astrid's eye. He gently took her hand and raised it to his lips, "It's lovely to meet you Astrid."


	17. Chapter 17: Sure to Fall

**Something**

 **Chapter 17: Sure to Fall**

 **April 3, 1960**

 **Sasha's POV**

"Do I look alright?" Stu stood in front of me after flying around the room getting ready for tonight.

We were in the small room at the Bambi Kino together. The other boys were out on the town. I decided to stay in. I wasn't a fan of the wild and bizarre nightlife around Hamburg. It was one of those rare nights that we had off from playing the clubs, and I was enjoying the quiet time. It was the perfect time to write songs. I had my guitar in my lap, sitting on me and John's bunk, with my notebook in front of me.

"Why?" I smirked at him, "Got a hot date with Astrid?"

Stu blushed, "Shut it. I'm meeting her mother. I want to look presentable."

I smiled and put my guitar beside me, "Her mom? Well, things are getting pretty serious then."

Stu sat down close to me on the bed, "I really like her, Sasha. She makes me feel like a thousand suns burning at once. My love for her is the strongest thing I have ever felt."

"Very poetic," I smiled, "She's so lucky to have you, Stuart. Honestly, I'm glad you feel this way about someone."

I thought about how life might be like had I handled the situation in Liverpool with Stuart differently. He kissed me. I tried not to think about it, but every time we spoke, it was all that crossed my mind. The way he spoke and held himself was beautiful. I wondered how I might be different if I had gone with Stu instead. I couldn't believe that I was thinking about Stuart like this. John was the love of my life, my forever and always. I guess it's just because of how he's been acting since we arrived in Hamburg. He was so territorial and possessive, and when he's drunk, he's mean. I know the words that he speaks when he's drunk, he would never say sober, but I can't help but think that things aren't right between us. Things aren't as good as they were.

Stu had diverted his gaze to the floor now, "I don't know any German. I hope her mother knows some English, or this could get awkward tonight."

I placed my hand on his shoulder, "Just be your sweet self. I know Astrid's mother will love you, just like Astrid does."

Stu shot his head up, "Astrid loves me?"

I hit my hand to my forehead, "Whoops. Don't tell Astrid I told you, okay? I didn't mean to say anything."

"It's alright," he sighed with a laugh, "It actually makes me feel a lot better about tonight. If the dinner went well, I was going to tell her that I love her."

"That's so sweet, Stuart. I know she'll love that."

Stu glanced at the clock on the wall, "I better get going. I'm meeting her at the club, so we can walk to her house together."

I stood up from the bed with Stu. He hugged me and kissed my cheek, "Thanks for everything."

"It's no problem, especially for a good friend like you," I smiled at him.

Something in Stu eyes changed, "Are you alright?"

"What do you mean?"

He placed his hand on my shoulder and looked into my eyes, "Are you and John alright?"

I looked at the ground then back up at him, "Of course. I love him. It's just been stressful here, you know? We're fine, though. We'll be okay."

Stu brought me into to his arms and held me tight, "Promise me you'll tell me if anything's wrong. If he says something or does something, I'll talk to him. He'll listen to me."

I sunk more into Stu's arms. His hugs were the best hugs to receive, "I promise. Thank you."

He let go of me, "I gotta go. Wish me luck."

I laughed, "You'll be fine, but good luck!"

Stu left the room, and I made sure to lock it before sitting back down with my guitar. I thought about what Stu said. Why would he ask me if he didn't suspect something was wrong? Had he seen John and I fighting? I also wondered if John had told him anything about us. John and Stu were as close as two friends could be. I think it made Paul and George jealous sometimes. I knew that John told Stu nearly everything. It made me worry about our relationship. I still thought that John was the one, and I still wanted to marry him. None of that had changed. Nothing had changed but his behavior. I was scared. I suddenly couldn't write anymore. I placed my guitar in the case against the wall and lied down with my knees tucked against my chest. John and I had been fighting a lot, and on top of all the stress from being in Hamburg, it was a lot to take in. I wondered if Hamburg was ruining our relationship. A single tear ran down my cheek, and I wiped it away just before more cascaded down my face. I fell asleep to the sobs racking my body.

There was a loud pounding on the door followed by Paul yelling, "Sasha, hurry! Open up!"

I jumped out bed. I didn't know what time it was, but I didn't care. Paul's voice sounded like there was something wrong. I unlocked the door and opened it to reveal Paul standing in front of Pete and George, who had John. They were carrying him with George carrying him by his arms and Pete holding his legs.

"He's bloody heavy," Pete said as they waddled into the room.

Paul rushed in and cleared a spot on the floor for him.

George and Pete started to set him down, but I stopped them, "Put him in the bed, not the floor!"

They practically threw him on the bed. The bunk shook from the force, and George stumbled backward, Paul catching him.

I watched in shock as the three other boys began to get ready for bed, "What the hell?" They all looked at me, "Is no one gonna tell me why John is passed out and had to be carried here?"

"Calm down, Sasha," George slurred and put his arm around me for support, "We just had a good time. John had a bit too much of a good time."

I was confused. I looked to Paul for the answer. George was still leaning against me with his arm around my shoulders.

"He just got smashed, Sasha. He needs sleep," Paul said.

We heard mumbling and looked over to find John sitting up, staring at me. He was blinking at me, trying to focus his eyes. It was then that I realized that George still had his arm around me.

John jumped off the bed and tackled George. I screamed at the sudden movement.

"ARE YOU STUPID? DID YOU HEAR WHAT I TOLD YOU?" John yelled in George's face before giving him a hard punch.

George groaned and pushed John off him. George scurried to his bunk above ours.

John looked around at all of us, breathing heavily, "Did any of you hear what I said? Nobody touches her. Nobody even looks at her."

I was in shock, but somehow managed to approach him and rest my hand on his arm, "John, it's okay. Calm down. He just couldn't stand up straight."

John grabbed my arm tightly and dragged me toward the door, "You're coming with me you little bitch."

Paul moved in front of the door, "John, let go of her. You're drunk."

I couldn't move. I couldn't believe all of this was happening. John pushed Paul out of the way and dragged me down the hall, out the entrance of the Bambi Kino, and into the alleyway beside it.

He slammed me against the brick wall, knocking the breath out of me.

He held me there, getting millimeters from my face. His hot, alcohol-ridden breath surrounded me, "Don't ever let him touch you again. You'll pay for what you've done, you whore. You're probably sleeping around with all of them. I should've have known they would get to you."

I was afraid. It was the first time I had ever been afraid of John.

He brought his hand up to strike but someone pushed him off of me.

I exhaled in disbelief as him and Stuart struggled with each other in front of me.

"That's enough, John. It's enough. Just stop," Stuart finally got him to stand still.

Stu turned to me, still holding John, "Go inside, Sasha. Get out of here."

I ran as fast as could inside. I wanted this night to end. I wanted this trip to Hamburg to end. It had changed John. I didn't like it. I couldn't believe he would treat me this way after everything we've been through and the words we've spoken to each other. I just wanted all of this to end.

"Here, darling," Astrid handed me a cup of steaming coffee.

I didn't sleep last night. There's no doubt that I looked terrible. I was sitting in the empty Indra club wondering about John and Stu. I hadn't seen them since the incident last night.

I finally mucked up the courage to ask Astrid, "Are they alright?"

She gave me a small grin, "Everyone's okay. John and Stu crashed at Klaus's flat last night. Klaus phoned me, and we stayed up talking to John for hours. Everything's going to be just fine."

"Sasha," I looked up to see Stu in front of me.

He sat down next to Astrid and put his arm around her, "John wants to talk. Would you talk to him?"

I didn't say anything.

Stu grabbed my hand, "You and I can talk first, if you'd like."

I nodded slowly. Soon, Stu was helping me up and ushering me backstage. As soon as we were out of everyone's view, I broke down.

Stu held me close as I sobbed, "Listen, I know that how John acted was inexcusable, but he feels like shite for what he's done. He doesn't really remember what happened, but after I told him, he broke down in tears and felt so sorry."

I looked up at Stu, "How did you know?"

Stu took his thumb across my face to wipe my tears, "I got there as soon as John had dragged you outside. Paul told me what happened, and I ran to find you. I wanted to make sure you were okay, and I didn't want things to go too far. I didn't want John to do something that he really would've regretted."

I held Stu tighter, "Thank you so much."

"So, will you talk to him?"

I hesitated, "For the first time, I was afraid of him. I thought he was going to hurt me."

"I was never going to hurt you," John approached us.

Stuart let me out of his arms. My eyes begged him to stay, but he slowly walked away, leaving me alone with John.

John brought me into his arms, and we sat down on an amp. I started crying again.

He placed his chin on my head and continued to hold me, "God, I'm so sorry. I'm such an idiot. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and look what I've done."

Despite everything that happened, I still loved being his arms. I hugged him tighter to me as he started to hum 'Love Me Tender'.

"John," I looked up at him after he had hummed a few bars, "I love you."

He grinned, "I can't tell you how sorry I am for everything. The way I've been acting isn't me. I just want everything to go right here. The band is so close Sasha, and I'm sorry that I'm taking out the stress on you."

"I forgive you. I don't know why I forgive you, but I do," I told him, "Now kiss me just to make sure."

He brought his lips to mine. Just like the first time and every other time, sparks flew. I knew that I loved him more than anything.

He pulled away from me, "I have a surprise for you."

I bit my lip and looked into his beautiful hazel eyes, "Yeah. What?"

"I'm taking you somewhere," he said, "I talked to Allan and the club owner, and they're letting us have two nights off – your birthday and the night after. I've been saving all my earnings, and I'm taking you somewhere for your birthday. I want to make everything up to you and get away. Just me and you, no distractions."

I smiled and kissed him again, "Sounds romantic. Where are we going?"

"It's a secret until your birthday," he kissed me again.

I'd like to think that all was well with John again. I knew that he knew what he did was wrong. I hope now he'll turn his behavior around, and I'll get back the John that was somehow left behind in Liverpool. I loved him, I knew that much, but I also knew that we needed to slow down. I didn't like how Hamburg was making him act, and I would have to keep a close eye on him to make sure it didn't get worse.

 **Author's Note: Where do you think they're going?  
**


	18. Chapter 18: April in Paris

**Author's Note:**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 18: April in Paris**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **April 12, 1960**

John held on tight to my hand, his fingers intertwined with mine, as we fast-walked through the Friday morning crowd at the train station in Hamburg. I just couldn't believe that the owner of the club had let John convince him that we needed Friday and Saturday night off. We had never had two nights in a row off, and I was looking forward to getting away from the stench of the Reeperbahn. The lonely night we arrived in February seemed so long ago now. The weather was changing, and so was everything else.

John and I have had some trouble, but the fact that he was doing this for my birthday made me realize why I fell in love with him in the first place. I know that he is stressed from the band and the constant preforming and lack of sleep, but I still don't agree with his decision to take it out on me the last couple of weeks. I hoped John could find a way to balance our relationship with the band, just like it had been before we left Liverpool for Hamburg. The band's dynamic was changing as well, which I knew was an extra stressor for John. Stu had found Astrid, so he was balancing her with the band as well. My brother, I hate to say it, was stressing everyone out with his new big shot behavior. In the last few weeks, Paul's decided that he doesn't care for Stuart very much. I think he's jealous of how close John is with Stuart because he wants that kind of a friendship with John. Paul also confessed to me that he wanted Astrid to begin with, and he believes that Stuart isn't right for her. I had to jump on stage a couple nights ago after Paul decided he would jump on Stu and start attacking him over Astrid. Right now, things were just stressful and crazy. Let's just say, I was so relieved to be getting away for a couple of days.

John stopped in the middle of the hustling and bustling crowd. He looked around, still gripping my hand. He had the train tickets in his free hand, and I had our bag for the trip in my free hand. John squinted his eyes to read the ticket, and then lifted his head to look at the large signs hanging from the ceiling.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

John sighed, "It would be a lot easier to find our bloody platform if everything wasn't in German," he looked down at the tickets again, and began pulling me through the crowd once more, "I think it's this way."

When we found the platform, we found our train car and boarded to find our seats. There was no one in the cabin we were assigned to, and I hoped that no one showed up so me and John could have some alone time. The train's whistle sounded, and it began creeping forward out of the station. I sighed in relief as ten minutes went by with no one coming to sit with us. John was looking out of the window. We hadn't spoken since we boarded the train, and I so desperately didn't want things to be awkward between us. A weird feeling rushed over me as I looked at John sitting silently across from me. In this small moment, I felt like there was an ocean between us. I felt distant from him.

"I'm glad no one's sitting with us," I said, trying to make conversation.

John didn't even glance at me, "Yeah."

We sat in silence again. The silence was so loud it was deafening. I wanted to cry, but I knew John would just freak out and probably leave me alone for the train ride if I did.

I couldn't stand it anymore, "John," he finally looked at me, "Are you upset about something?"

He sighed, rising to come and sit next to me. He placed his hand on my thigh, "It's just…I'm taking you to the 'city of love', you know? I just want to make it memorable for you."

"It will be memorable John but not if you act this way the entire time," I said, looking into his eyes, "Listen, I really just want to forget about want happened the other night. I know that wasn't you, but it still hurt me. I just love you so much. I know you're tired and stressed, but this weekend is a great opportunity to remember why we fell for each other in the first place. I love you, John. That fact hasn't changed, you know?"

"I know. I just feel so bad about what happened. I just want to make it up to you. I want to show you that I love you just as much as I did the first day I saw you," his face was inches from mine.

I closed the gap between our lips when I leaned closer to kiss him. After a long, deep kiss, I pulled away smiling and giggling to myself.

"What?" John smirked at me.

I shook my head with a smile, "How come every time you kiss me, it's as magical as the first time? Same when you make love to me."

"It's because I'm so in love, Sasha," John started to lean in once again, "Forever and always."

I started to say it back, but John's lips were soon moving on mine.

After arriving in Paris, trying to figure out the metro, and attempting to read the map John got at the train station, we finally found our hotel. The room was nothing spectacular, but compared to the Bambi Kino, we were in the lap of luxury for two nights. John walked to the window on the far side of the room when we walked in. He opened the curtains, letting the spring sunshine in.

"Sasha, come look at this," John said to me.

I set our bag down on the double bed and walked over to the window. I looked out and saw the beautiful Paris skyline, and right in the distance was the Eiffel Tower.

"Oh, John, there it is," I smiled at him, "I've always wanted to see it."

John put his arms around me and kissed me, "I wouldn't want to be here with anyone else. It wouldn't be the same."

I kissed him and left his warm arms to look around the room. Just a double bed and two bedside tables were in the small main part, but there was a bathroom. I turned on the light in the bathroom and got more excited than I probably should be to see a bathtub/shower combination.

"John," I practically yelled for him to meet me in the bathroom, "There's a bath. I can have a real bath."

He kissed me again, "I might have to join you."

"I would enjoy that," I smirked at him.

He squeezed my bum before walking back out of the bathroom and sitting on the bed. I hurried after him and crawled beside him, "John, this place is amazing, and we haven't even been out of the hotel. Let me give you some of my earnings to help pay."

"No," he said, "I've been planning this for a while, and I want to give you this trip. The hotel has free breakie, so we won't have to worry about that. I have enough money left over for a nice dinner these two nights. I mean, we might as well take advantage of Parisian cuisine."

I nodded, and rested my head on his chest. I yawned, realizing how tired I actually was.

John noticed this and began rubbing my back, "Listen, Sasha, I know we're in Paris, and it's up to you, but how about we stay in the rest of the afternoon. We can order food to be sent here, maybe have a bottle of wine, rest up, and make love to each other all night. We've got all day to explore tomorrow."

I looked up at him, "That sounds like a perfect plan. Besides, we can see the Eiffel Tower from the window."

John chuckled from above me. He continued to rub my back in soft patterns. I let my exhaustion catch up to me, and soon, my eyelids were closing, and I was falling asleep in John's arms in a hotel in Paris. Life couldn't get any better than this.

 **A few hours later**

I woke up from my nap to the sound of dishes clanking. The first thing my eyes saw when they opened was the beautiful sunset through the large window. John was standing beside the bed, pouring two glasses of red wine. There was a buffet cart in our room now. I guessed John had ordered some dinner for us.

"Good morning," he joked, looking at me, "Sleep well?"

"Yes," I replied, "Did you sleep?"

"I did for a couple hours, but I'm starving, so I ordered our food," he smiled at me, handing me the plate, which also had a bowl of soup sitting atop it, "soup and quiche du jour for the both of us and a bottle of wine. This will be the best meal we've had in months."

John handed me my glass of wine, before carefully crawling onto the bed with his plate. We began eating in silence. I think we were both so hungry, and the food was so good, that there was no need for talking. We both ate our dinner fast, and we were on our third or fourth glass of wine each. John had stacked the plates on the cart and moved closer to me, bringing me into his lap.

He whispered in my ear, "Can I take you up on that bath idea?"

"Of course," I rose from the bed, glass of wine in hand, and made my way to draw the bath.

The bath was halfway filled when John walked in and grabbed me from behind. I noticed he had sat the bottle of wine and his glass on the side of the bathtub. He grabbed my glass from my hand and set it down as well. His hands moved up and down my body as he kissed my neck.

"I'm so glad we're finally alone tonight," his hot, wine-scented breath was on my jaw line.

His hand creeped down the front side of me and entered my skirt. His rough hands rubbed me through my lace panties.

"John," I moaned.

His hands gripped the sides of my skirt and pushed it down, until it pooled around my ankles. Next, he grabbed the bottom of my blouse and pulled it over my head. I couldn't wait to get my hands on him. It had been a couple weeks since we had been any kind of intimate together, and I couldn't wait. I turned to face him for the first time since he entered the bathroom. He was completely naked. I started running my hands up and down his bare body, stroking him as he moaned deep and low.

"Bath," he said grabbing my hand.

He stepped into the warm water and sat down. I followed in him and sat in his lap with my back against his chest. He handed me my glass of wine, and I leaned my head back on his shoulder, kissing his strong jaw line.

"I love you, Sasha," he spoke quietly, his eyes closed, and his head lying against the back of the tub.

"I love you too," I said back to him.

John and I stayed in the bath for an hour, until the water had turned cold. We dried off with the fluffy hotel towels, and walked to the bed. Our eyes never left each other. We were so in love, and I was so glad that after all the stress in Hamburg, we were still connected like this.

John picked me up and sat me down on the bed, hovering over me. No words had to be spoken between us to know what the other was thinking. John placed his forehead to mine as he entered me slowly with a low moan. I gasped and began moaning as he started moving. As John made love to me, I was convinced this was heaven.

 **The next day, April 13, 1960**

The pink blossoms of the spring tress that lined the street were incredibly beautiful. I had my camera that my dad got me for my eighteenth birthday in front of my face. This was the perfect way to spend my nineteenth birthday, in a beautiful city with John by my side. I wanted to take pictures of everything. To his objections, I even snuck in a few pictures of John with the Paris scenery blurred behind him. The Champs-Elysees was beautiful regardless. With the Arc de Triomphe towering at the end of it, it was all too gorgeous to take in. Expensive stores lined the street, sitting back on the large sidewalks. John had his hand resting on the small of my back as we strolled along slowly, taking in this wonderful city. John led me to a bench underneath one of the trees, so we could have a few moments on this beautifully busy boulevard.

I snapped another picture of John as he lit his cigarette, "I can't believe we're here. Paris is everything I hoped it would be."

John wrapped his arm around me, "I'm glad I could bring you here. It is quite romantic, isn't it?"

I bit my lip and grinned at him. John took the camera out of my hands and snapped a picture of me with the Arc de Triomphe in the background. He handed the camera back to me, and I held it out in front of us to capture a photo of us together.

John looked around at all the shops and stores, "One day, I'm going to bring you back to Paris and have enough money to walk you into these stores and let you pick out everything that you like for me to buy."

I smiled timidly at him, "The future is scary, John."

"Why are you afraid?"

I looked down at my shoes, "I don't know. It's so uncertain that it's frightening. Where will we be in five, ten years from now?"

John kissed my cheek, "Hopefully together. Maybe here, holidaying with our children."

I looked at him, "You want kids?"

"Of course I do. Not any time soon, but someday. I want you to be the mother. I want us to live in London, so we can work of course. Maybe we'll have a flat here in Paris and ranch in Nashville. Stu and Astrid will come on holiday with us with their kids. We'll still be inseparable, with every kiss and touch just like the first ones."

I kissed his lips quickly, "I love you."

"Love you, mama," John put on his infamous smirk again, "Let's get a move on. I made us dinner reservations."

I jumped up from the bench, "Okay, but I want to buy some macarons from Ladureé before we leave here."

John stood up next to me, looking concerned, "Sasha, I already spent the rest of my money booking the dinner tonight."

"I'll buy them," I said, "It will be my one treat for this getaway. It is my birthday, you know?"

John laughed that laugh that I love so much, "Doesn't that mean that other people are supposed to buy things for you?"

"It's my present to myself," I said as we starting walking to the crossing.

John grabbed my hand as we walked across the street and into the cute little café with a mint green awning. I led him to the start of the line to choose your macarons. I chose the small purple box that would hold six. I picked three flavors, and John did as well. I paid for the small treats, and we were on our way again. A short ride on the metro, and a short walk later, we rounded the corner that revealed the Eiffel Tower to us. The green park stretched on before us, and ended with the copper tower. I snapped a hundred pictures within the five minutes that we had been standing here.

"Come on then," John grabbed my hand and pulled me down the sidewalk closer to the glistening tower.

We got about halfway to it when John asked another man to take a picture of us in front of it.

I handed the man my camera, and John and I posed closely together as the man took several pictures of us. John brought me in for a kiss, and I heard my camera snap a few more times.

"Merci," I said to the man as he handed my camera back to me.

The man nodded and smiled before walking away and joining his family. John grabbed my hand once more and led us onto the grassy area. He took off his leather jacket and set it on the ground for us to sit on. We opened the box of macarons and enjoyed them one by one, breaking each of them in half, so we could try all the flavors we both picked.

I smiled at John, my eyes glistening, "John, thank you so much for bringing me here."

"I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I wouldn't want to be in this city with anyone else," he kissed me, "I can see why they call it the 'city of love'. Just sitting here is making me be more in love with you."

I smiled at him and kissed him again. I couldn't stop smiling actually. This had to be the best birthday ever. I didn't know if it could get any better. I think that it will be pretty hard for my future birthdays to contend with this one.

John and I sat on the ground staring at the Eiffel Tower for almost an hour. All of our delicious macarons were gone, and John suggested that we move closer to the tower. We got the edge of it after walking fast with excitement. I snapped a photo of John just underneath it. He also snapped a photo of me.

John led me to the center under the tower, "Look up. It's incredible."

I looked up, "It's so much bigger in person."

John looked at me and brought me into a deep kiss. I loved this man more than anything in the world.

He took my hand in his, "We have dinner reservations soon. It's just a short walk from here."

We took off walking across the large bridge to the other side of the river. The sun was setting now, and John gripped my hand tightly as we approached a row of fancy, white buildings. He walked me to the front of a swanky hotel, and we entered. John told me to wait on the plush couch whilst he talked to reception about dinner. After a few moments, John motioned for me, and we were led to the hotel's restaurant by the receptionist. The restaurant was the fanciest one I had ever set foot in, and I wondered if me and John were underdressed. We were seated by the staff at a table overlooking the river and the Eiffel Tower.

"John, this is wonderful," I said looking around the room, "It had to cost a fortune."

"Don't worry about the cost, love," he said, opening his menu, "It's all for you, and besides, I've made pretty decent money from these Hamburg gigs."

The waiter approached our table and began speaking in an elegant Parisian accent, "Good evening. For your dinner tonight, you will eat four courses. The first is escargot, cooked in the traditional French manner. Second, you will choose an appetizer from the menu. The main course will also be chosen from the menu. Desert is cheesecake and tiramisu. You will receive different wines paired with your food, and a complementary bottle of champagne on us. For the lady's birthday, of course."

I smiled at John, and he smirked at me. He knew he had hit the nail on the head with this one.

The waiter spoke again as a second waiter set a plate of escargot down and poured our glasses of wine, "Escargot. I will be back to take your appetizer and main course order. Bon appetite."

John looked at the plate, "That's snails, right?"

"Yes," I said taking one and getting the meat out of the shell with the special utensils. I popped the snail in my mouth, "Delicious."

"How do you know how to eat those?" John stared in disbelief.

"Where my dad's family is from, in Colorado, is this little French diner that was opened up by an old French couple when they moved there. My favorite was always the escargot."

I showed John how to eat the escargot. Soon, the waiter came and took our orders. I was thoroughly enjoying John's company. Our conversation never faltered while we waited for our food. I always grew up wondering if married couples ever ran out of things to talk about, but I now realized that it was so easy to strike up a conversation about anything with the one you love. For our appetizer, me and John were both cliché and ordered French onion soup. John ordered a steak for his main course, and I ordered some kind of chicken dish. We let each other try the different plates, and everything was so delicious. By the end of desert, I could hardly move I was so full. John leaned back in his chair and patted his stomach.

The waiter approached, "Did you enjoy everything?"

"Yes, thank you. It was delicious," I replied, politely.

John motioned to the bottle of champagne we hadn't finished, "Do you mind if we take this with us?"

The waiter smiled, "Of course sir, let me get a bag for it. Will you need two glasses as well?"

"Yes, that would be lovely," John replied in a posh accent. I tried not to giggle at him.

After the waiter sent us on our way with the bottle of champagne that we hadn't finished, John and I walked hand in hand toward the Eiffel Tower again. The cool breeze felt good on my warm cheeks. I was a little tipsy from all the wine and champagne we had with dinner.

We sat down in the grass in front of the lit Eiffel Tower. Right when we sat, it sparkled with thousands of twinkling lights, "It's so beautiful, John."

"Almost as beautiful as you," he wrapped his arm around me and kissed me.

I looked at him, "I love those glasses on you, you know?" He had been wearing his black-rimmed, Buddy Holly style glasses all day.

"You sound like Mimi," John complained.

I laughed, "Does Mimi think they're sexy?"

"I hope not," he cringed and laughed, "I think all that wine's gone to your brain."

"Maybe it has, but at least I'm certain about one thing."

"What's that?" He shot me a smirk.

I kissed him passionately, "That I love you more than anything. Thank you for such an amazing birthday."

"You're welcome," John smiled, "Now, let's get the rest of this champagne to disappear."

John popped open the bottle once more, and we drank until there was only a glass left for both of us. John held me close to him as we stared at the gorgeous, twinkling tower standing before us. This really was the most romantic city on Earth.

John sat up after taking the last drink of his last glass of champagne, "Sasha, I've been wanting to ask you something for a long time. I know I'm not doing this properly, but I want to ask you formally."

"What is it?" I asked, sitting up to stare into his deep, intelligent eyes.

John took a deep breath, "I'm asking you to… Sasha, will you marry me?"

I couldn't believe it. John and I had talked about the future and marriage several times, but he had never formally asked me, "Yes, of course I will."

He brought me into his arms and kissed me warm and hard, "Listen, I couldn't afford a ring, but I promise when we get back to Liverpool, I will get you the most beautiful ring in the city, and you can have the wedding you've always dreamed of. Your mom and your best friend, Abagail can fly in, and Stuart can be the best man, and…"

I cut him off with my lips, "We can think about all of that later. I don't care about the ring or how big the wedding is. I just want you for the rest of my life, only you."


	19. Chapter 19: To Know Him Is To Love Him

**Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who's reading, and a massive thank you to those that are reviewing!**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 19: To Know Him Is To Love Him**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **April 14, 1960**

John and I walked quietly into the room at the Bambi Kino around eleven the next morning. Our train left earlier this morning from Paris, and we had just arrived to see the rest of the boys sleeping peacefully in this dingy room. John took off his shoes and lied down on our bunk. He motioned for me to do the same, and I lied in his arms thinking about everything that happened this weekend.

John had proved to me that Hamburg had only hardened his shell more on the outside, but inside was still that sweet man that I loved so much. I wanted the rest of this year to fly by, so we could get married as soon as possible. We talked about the future almost the entire night last night. After John proposed to me, we sat at the sparkling Eiffel Tower for another hour before heading back to the hotel. We took another bath together and made sweet love the rest of night. We only slept a few hours, but our Hamburg schedule had made our bodies use to that. I felt completely rested after our short getaway to Paris.

I looked up at John, who had fallen asleep and was snoring quietly. I heard Stuart grunt, which he does in his sleep, and George roll over on the top of the bunk. I couldn't see Pete from where I was lying, but I'm sure he was sound asleep, not snoring, just like Paul. I'm sure the boys had a late night partying last night. I couldn't believe how everything was turning out. We were all growing as musicians and artists. The boys had developed an impeccable style that I knew would get them places. Now, John and I were engaged, and we would get married upon our return to Liverpool. I honestly couldn't wait.

"Sasha," I heard someone whisper. John snored loudly once more and went back to being quiet.

I looked to find Stu sitting on the edge of his bed in just his briefs, "Hi Stu."

Stuart stood and put on his drainpipe jeans and a black t-shirt, "Can we talk outside?"

"Sure," I said. I moved myself from John's arms without waking him and left him a note saying I'd left with Stu.

Stuart and I walked down the street to a café to get some coffee. Our walk there was in silence, and we didn't speak until we sat down at a table with our cappuccinos.

Stu poured a sugar packet into his, "How was your trip?"

I smiled, every detail coming to mind, "It was wonderful. John is still the man I love. It's just that when he's here in Hamburg, his hard outer shell that he puts on gets harder," I tried to explain.

"I know what you mean, but I'm glad you were able to work everything out with him. You two have a relationship that many people dream about until they've dreamed their whole life away and waste away alone," he spoke beautifully, "I use to dream of a companionship with someone like you had with John. I used to dream of you being my girl, but I've found my girl. I just had to come to bloody Germany to find her."

I smiled. I admired how intelligent Stu was. When he spoke, it was like the whole world stopped to listen to his poetic words, "So, you and Astrid are going well I assume."

Stu sighed, "I'm moving in with her next month."

I almost spit out my coffee, "What?"

"She begged her mother to let all of us stay there, so we could get out of the Bambi Kino, but her mother said that it was just me or no one," Stu explained, "I agreed. I'm moving next month. I love her so much, Sasha."

Stu looked deep into my eyes with a passion that I used to see in John's before Hamburg sucked all the life out of him. However, I saw glimpses of it this weekend.

I still couldn't believe Stuart was leaving all of us at the Bambi Kino, "Why next month? Why not now?"

Stu took a cigarette from behind his ear and lit it with one of the matches from his pocket, "A little birdie told Paul and Pete that old Bruno moving us to a nicer club next month, the Kaiserkeller."

"Who's the messenger?"

Stu exhaled his smoke up into the air, "Allan."

"Oh," I said, sipping my coffee.

Stu placed his hand on mine, "I just figured that during our transition to the new club would be the right time to move in with Astrid. Don't be upset with me."

I pulled my hand away from his, "I'm not upset."

"You are," he teased.

"It's just that you're one of the best friends I've ever had," I explained, "You being around all the time makes me feel safe because I know that you can talk to John when he gets angry and unreasonable in a way that I can't talk to him. I have a feeling I won't see you as much."

Stu sighed, "I'll still see you all the time, and I would never stop protecting you from John when he gets in his moods."

I laughed with him and went quiet again.

Stu put out his cigarette in the ashtray on the table, "I've got to quit smoking."

When I looked at the ground and didn't reply, Stu spoke again, "Sasha, is there something you're not telling me?"

I couldn't hold it in any longer, and I let the tears begin to roll down my cheeks, "I'm scared Stuart."

Stu rushed out of his chair and pulled it beside me, so he could bring me into his arms, "Scared of what?"

"This weekend was absolutely perfect. I was reminded why I fell in love with John in the first place, but I don't want the way we were this weekend to change."

"You think it will go back to the way it was or get worse?" Stu asked.

"Yes, and well…John proposed to me in Paris," I sniffled.

Stu pulled away from me, "Wait, you two are engaged? Congrats."

He dropped his smile when he noticed how sad I still looked, "I want to marry him, Stu. With all of my heart, I want to marry him, and we're planning on getting married when we get back to Liverpool. What if things change, though? What will I do?"

"You'll move on," he said flatly, "but stop worrying because that will never happen. You and John always work things out. At the end of the day you still love each other the same."

"Thank you Stu," I hugged him, "I will never meet anyone like you ever again. You're the best friend a girl could ask for."

 **June 22, 1960**

We had been in Hamburg almost six months now. Last month, Stuart's piece of gossip came true when we were moved to the nicer club, the Kaiserkeller. He also moved into to Astrid's house, and they were as in love as John and I were. John had had a few drunken outbursts, but for the most part, I was relieved that this new stage in our relationship of being fiancés was going very well. Stu was right about everything, including the fact that just because he lived with Astrid now, we still saw each other as often. John and I would always double-date with Stu and Astrid on nights out.

I was sitting next to John on the bus, looking out at the sunny, summertime Hamburg and resting my head on his shoulder. Stu and Astrid were sat on the seat in front us cuddling and kissing. Astrid's family has a beach house on the outskirts of Hamburg, and she invited us to stay there with her and Stu for his twentieth birthday tomorrow. It was the second of the rare times we had a couple nights off, the first being my birthday. I was excited to have this beach weekend with just the four of us.

The bus stopped at the end of the street and Astrid led us to the beach house. It was big and nicely decorated inside, and out the back door was the sandy beach and the blue ocean connected to it. We all couldn't wait to get out there, so that was the first thing that we did. Astrid and I had so much fun sunbathing and snapping photos of John and Stuart playing in the sand and the water. I knew this weekend was going to be one of the best.

 **The next day**

After making love to each other all night in our private room, John and I were tangled up in the sheets together. This was my favorite place to be. I loved being in his arms after a long, intimate night with each other. John was awake when I looked up at him, and he leaned in to kiss me passionately.

"I love you," he whispered, "How 'bout another round?"

I kissed him roughly to give him my answer, and he rolled on top of me. We were kissing and touching as John thrusted in and out of me sensually. I heard the bedroom door creak open.

"Hey, I fixed some breakie," I heard Stu say.

John and I emerged from under the sheets, our hair a mess, and our skin ridden with large hickeys. I made sure the sheet was covering my breasts to avoid a more awkward moment than what was happening now.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you to knock," John said, panting.

Stu shrugged, "It doesn't bother me anymore Lennon. I lived in the same room as you two for four months. I'm used to it. All you guys ever do is have sex," he laughed, "Breakfast is ready."

"We'll be out in a few," John said.

He caught me off guard when he quickly jumped back on top of me and starting thrusting hard and fast. I moaned louder than I wanted.

Stu sighed, "That's my cue to leave."

I laughed as John continued, and Stu closed the door when he left, "John."

He shut me up with his lips on mine before pulling away and speaking through his heavy pant, "He still likes you, you know?"

"No he doesn't," I groaned as he hit a sweet spot inside of me, "He loves Astrid."

"Whatever," John said, "He still likes ya, and I'm gonna make him jealous. I love doing that."

John picked up the pace, if that was even possible. He started moaning and grunting loud and obnoxiously as he got closer to the edge. I was half laughing, half moaning as my body shook underneath him. John finished with a loud, moany grunt.

"You're ridiculous," I said, laughing and catching my breath.

John laughed and got dressed. After I was dressed, he picked me up bridal style and carried me to the kitchen, kissing me the whole way there. He sat me down in a chair at the table that Stu and Astrid were already seated at. His lips never left mine as he sat down next to me and brought me into his arms. John was full-on snogging me at the table.

Astrid cleared her throat, and Stu spoke up, "Have you quite finished making bloody spectacle of yourself? The whole neighborhood heard your little morning rendezvous."

John dramatically pulled his lips from mine, "Now, I'm finished. Only because I'm starving though."

"I don't see how I've put up with him for nearly three years," I said, and Astrid laughed at me.

"I'm still here though," John smirked, "Say, it's Stu's birthday. Why was he slaving away making this breakfast?"

Stu laughed, taking a bite of the mountain of scrambled eggs on his plate, "Well, I obviously wasn't gonna get any help from you two lovebirds. Astrid helped."

"It's delicious," I told them.

John laughed and smirked, "That's what she said about my…"

"John," I smacked his arm before he could continue making his vulgar remark.

Stu laughed out loud, and Astrid blushed and looked at her plate.

That night after dinner, we had the cake that Astrid and I had baked all afternoon lit up with twenty candles for Stuart. We stood and sang 'Happy Birthday' to him before he blew the blaze of candles out with a secret wish. The cake was almost gone within the next hour. We were all sitting on the back porch watching the waves crash on the shore in the moonlight. John and I were sat on the porch swing, and Stu and Astrid were lying on a lounge chair together. John and Stuart were nursing their third or fourth bottle of beer while me and Astrid had opted for glasses of wine.

"I've got to go pee," I said, kissing John lightly before I stood up to go inside.

When I came out of the bathroom, Stuart was walking past me from the bedrooms, "I had to get a sweater for Astrid. She gets cold easily."

"Okay," I replied looking into his dark eyes.

"Thanks for coming and spending my birthday with us," Stu said stepping closer to me.

"John and I really have enjoyed the short stay. It's a shame it can't last longer," I said, feeling a little uncomfortable as Stuart was standing so close to me.

He sighed, "You look beautiful today," he closed the gap between us putting his arms around my waist.

"Stuart," I tried to wiggle out of his strong grip, but to no avail, "How many beers have you had?"

"Not many, only three," his breath touched my face gently.

He brought his lips to mine, and to mine and his surprised, I didn't struggle. I didn't pull away or try to. I relaxed in his embrace. Our kiss got stronger, and I felt his tongue slip past my lips. As we stood making out in the hallway, a million things were running through my mind. Stu's lips were incredible; he was such a good kisser. I thought about the small kiss he gave me at his flat last year. It hadn't been as enjoyable as this one.

Suddenly his lips left mine, "What am I doing?" He brought his hand up to his forehead.

"Stu," I sighed, "We don't have to tell anyone about this, you know."

He looked at me, "Right, of course," he paced back and forth, "Sorry."

He nervously walked away, leaving me in the hallway alone with my swimming thoughts. I placed my hand on my forehead. I couldn't believe that just happened. I didn't know what to think, actually.

"Sasha," John rounded the corner, "I came to check on you."

I stuttered like an idiot, "I was just going to get a sweater after I went to the bathroom, but I don't think I brought one with me."

John chuckled, "Too much wine? You can wear my jacket."

He took his leather jacket off and slipped it around my shoulders before giving me a sweet kiss on the cheek and whispering in my ear, "I can't wait to get you out of that dress tonight."

"How about we start now?" I said quickly.

John smirked and led me to our bedroom. I had to get the taste and feel of Stu's lips out of my head.


	20. Chapter 20: Haunted

**Author's Note: Thank you to everyone that's been reading! Please feel free to comment and tell me what you think.  
**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 20: Haunted**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **July 15, 1960**

"You alright? You look awful," I heard a young scouse accent ask me.

I looked up to see George, "Thanks."

He chuckled and sat down beside me at the empty booth in the corner of the empty Kaiserkeller, "Sorry. I was just wondering if you were going to perform tonight. You don't really look up to it, and we've got to find a replacement for you if you can't. Tony Sheridan always likes to come and play with us."

I took a swig of the beer bottle in front of me and cringed at the taste. I didn't even like beer, but Klaus said it would help, "Sorry George. I will perform. I've just got a pounding headache, and I got sick all other the bathroom at the Bambi Kino this morning. Klaus thinks I just have a stomach bug. I haven't slept in days, so that might be making it worse."

"I know how you feel. I think I'm coming down with a cold. Eight hour gigs every night with no break and no sleep isn't good for all of us, you know?"

I looked at him. George was so young. He technically wasn't even allowed to be playing in these clubs because he wasn't eighteen yet. I felt sorry for him, but then again, I knew he was having the time of his young life being in this band.

Astrid and Stu walked over to the table and sat in front of us. There wasn't anyone in the club at this time in the afternoon. I don't even think it was open to the public. People didn't start showing up until ten or later. I looked at the small stage that had metallic curtains hanging behind it. John and Paul were going over a song with Pete. John and I had been good so far, but I had noticed a change in behavior the past couple of weeks, not just with John, but with all the boys. Promoters, agents, and managers would come in the club at least every other night to watch us play. The boys had a more demanding schedule than me, and the added pressure from the professional people coming in didn't help. They would become so hyper in the middle of their set. I didn't think much of it, though. I just figured it was the drinks they would order from the bar.

The churning in my stomach got worse the longer I sat at the table.

"Sasha, are you okay," Astrid spoke softly, "You look very pale."

I sat there thinking about how sick my stomach felt. _Don't think about it. Don't think about it._ I kept telling myself. I felt my throat tighten and instinctively put my hand up to my mouth. I couldn't take it anymore. I jumped from my chair and ran to the bathroom. I heard John stop playing guitar and scream my name. Astrid was close behind me. The world had grown blurry as I got to a toilet, and my knees slammed onto the hard tile in front of it. I faintly heard Astrid tell John to wait outside for a few minutes.

I felt her hand on my back, "No one told me you were this sick. You can't perform tonight, Sasha."

I wiped my mouth with my sleeve after getting sick, "I have to. A promoter is coming tonight. I could get a record deal tonight."

"Not like this," she said, "How long has this been going on?"

I leaned against the wall of the cubicle, "Last night after the show was the first time I got sick. I got up a couple times during the night. Today has been awful. Klaus said that he thinks I have the stomach flu."

Astrid sighed, "Sounds like it."

My stomach heaved with cramps, and I clutched my arms around my midsection with a groan, "I get these cramps after I get sick. They hurt so badly."

"Should I take you to hospital?" She put her hand on my shoulder.

"I'm fine," my stomach churned violently, "Where's John?"

I held my stomach tightly as I felt that familiar feeling return. I leaned over the toilet again and unpleasantly emptied what was left in my stomach. I began dry heaving as Astrid placed her hand on my back. When that spell was over, I leaned against the wall.

Astrid stood from beside me, "I'll get John."

She began to walk away from me before stopping half way to the door. She turned to come back to me.

Astrid knelt beside me with a concerned look in her eyes, "Sasha, when's the last time you had your period?"

"God, Astrid. I'm not pregnant," I protested.

"I was just wondering. You never know, and you and John are quite…active. I just," she trailed off as I closed my eyes and groaned from the pain in my stomach.

I sighed, "The little monthly witch is due in a week and a half probably."

She nodded.

"But," I continued, "John always wears something, you know?"

Astrid placed her hand on my shoulder once more, "I know you're responsible, but it can fail, you know? I just want you be aware of all the things that may be going on."

I sighed, "Astrid, I'm not. I promise. John and I haven't even had sex since Stu's birthday weekend. We've been so busy and exhausted."

She nodded and stood, "I'll get John. He's worried about you,"

I heard the bathroom door close, and before I could think about what Astrid had suggested, the door opened again, and John's arms were around me. I started to sob into his chest as he held me and stroked my hair.

"I'm just so ill and so exhausted," I cried, "but I have to perform. That promoter's coming tonight."

John placed his hands on my shoulders and moved me back from his chest, "I have something that might help."

He rummaged through his pockets until he pulled out a handful of tiny circular pills, "Take these."

I gasped and looked up at him, "John, what is this? Where did you get these?"

"Some lady gave them to us. How do think we've kept going these past few weeks?" John explained these pills to me, "They'll make you feel so much better the rest of the night. I have to warn ya, though, the crash from them is a mean one."

I took a few of the pills from his hand, "I'm willing to try anything at this point. What're they called?"

"Preludin," John stated simply.

I now understood why the boys had been taking these little wonder pills for the last few weeks. My status had completely turned around. I didn't feel the least bit sick, and I was more awake than I had been this whole stay in Hamburg.

When it was time for my set, I climbed the couple of stairs to the stage and began to play my heart out. I found myself having to slow down when I would start playing the songs at a faster tempo because of the effect the pills had on me. The boys were rocking behind me, and I knew that this performance would impress any professional that walked in here wanting an artist to sign to their label.

In my third and final hour of the first half of the night, my hyperness began to fade. The sinking feeling hit when I knew the sick was coming back. It felt ten times worse than before as the nausea returned with the worst headache I've ever experienced. A black circular frame appeared around my vision of the buzzing crowd. I kept playing through the madness. I had to impress the promoter. The tunnel of light in my vision became smaller, and I heard my name being shouted as I suddenly hit the hard stage.

When I awoke, the lights above blinded me at first but then faded to a duller, softer light. I hadn't opened my mouth yet, so the bodies standing over me hadn't noticed that I was now awake.

"John, are you crazy?" It was Stu's voice, "You can't give an ill person Preludin."

They were speaking in hushed tones. John sighed, "I didn't know. She was so exhausted and stressed about the promoter coming. I didn't know it would happen this way."

I decided to let them know I was awake with a hushed, "John."

"Sasha, darling," John was by my side in an instant.

I brought my hand to aching forehead, "Where am I?"

John sighed, "We're in the Bambi Kino. You're in bed. You're safe."

"But the club, the promoter," I frantically looked around and began to sit up.

John pushed me back down, "You need to rest. It's alright. Stu and I talked to the promoter. He's coming back when you're well. He liked all of us. As for the band, Bruno let me and Stu bring you back here and stay with you the rest of the night. The other boys are still playing, and Klaus is playing bass for them."

"Thank you," I looked at him and Stu, "Thanks for taking care of me."

"No problem," Stu spoke up, "At least now I get to get some sleep tonight."

John shot Stu a look as he climbed into the bed with me, "I'm sorry I gave you those pills."

"I won't take them again," I told him, "and you shouldn't either. There's no telling what those do to your body. I don't want something bad to happen. Promise me you won't take them anymore."

I never heard if John promised me or not because I had drifted to sleep before he could answer me.

 **July 30, 1960**

"Where the hell is John?" I stormed into the club at half ten. I had been resting up and getting ready for tonight's show. Astrid had been there with me to have a girl chat before I found something interesting in John's bag and came over here to get to the bottom of it.

Pete shrugged next to me. He had obviously been drinking, "What do you want?"

"I found these," I held up the pill bottle, "in his bag. I wanted him to promise me that he wouldn't take these anymore."

"Love," Pete slurred, "We all take Preludin. Wake up and see the truth. John's not going to answer to you."

I stormed past Pete and asked around for John. I described him to some of the guests at the club until some girl finally told me that he had gone into the men's room a while ago.

I burst through the door of the men's room to hear a man's moaning coming from one of the toilet cubicles. It was John.

Luckily, the latch hadn't been done on the door, and I hit it open to reveal a skanky looking girl on her knees in front of John, sucking him off.

"Are you fucking with me, John?" I screamed at him, tears coming to my eyes.

He violently pushed the girl off of him, and she ran out of the bathroom. He tried to grab me to pull me into a hug but I resisted and backed away from him. I had never felt more hurt in my life. The man I was engaged to marry within the next year had been letting some other woman touch him in ways that I thought only I could. I wondered if there had been others before her. A tear slid down my cheek as I stared at him in disbelief.

He finished zipping up his trousers, "I'm sorry, Sasha."

I was full-on crying now, "Why? What else are you hiding from me? I already found these in your bag," I threw the bottle of Preludin at him, "I thought you weren't going to take these anymore. You promised."

"I never promised you anything," he growled.

Something changed in John's eyes. They weren't warm, full eyes that always looked so deeply into mine and allowed me to look deeply into them. They had gone cold. It's like a wall was put up to block me from looking past the shiny, outside layer of them. This wasn't my John. It couldn't be.

"Why?" I almost whispered it. I felt as though I couldn't speak.

John huffed, "I just…we haven't done anything in weeks. I was getting frustrated, you know? I needed some kind of release, and that kind girl offered it to me."

"And you would've gone farther than that," I yelled at him, my voice bouncing off the bathroom walls, "Come talk to me when you have concerns, John. We're supposed to be getting married, for God's sake."

"I don't know," he said to me harshly.

"You don't want to get married, John? When were you going to tell me? Our wedding day?" I couldn't control my anger now. I hated him as he stood in front of me. How could he betray me like this? I've given him every part of me. I've trusted him with every part of me.

John starting screaming back at me as he stepped closer, "Maybe married life isn't for me. Maybe this hellhole of a town is making me realize that."

"Realize what?" I yelled through gritted teeth, "That you can take advantage of me and shag around with whores and…"

John grabbed my neck with his left hand to hold me and smacked me hard across the face with his right hand.

I screamed, and he smacked me again, "Shut up! Don't talk about me that way," he gave me another smack as he pushed me against the wall, and I writhed under his arm that was pinning me helplessly against the wall.

My face stung, and my body was completely numb with shock. I couldn't fight back no matter how much I wanted to. He punched below my eye and again in the stomach as I doubled over in pain. He loosened his grip and stared at me with wide eyes as I spit blood and fell to the cold ground.

"Sasha," he spoke through tears now, "I'm sorry."

I couldn't look at him. I despised him. I was afraid of him. In my heart, I still loved him, which caused me to finally look up to his eyes. My vision was blurry from tears. Tears were streaming down his face as he held his hands out to me. He was crying so hard and trying to speak, but all that came out of his mouth were those haunting, struggling sounds of trying to find the right words through your tears. His eyes had grown soft again. The eyes of my John.

He picked my frail body up and held me close to him, "I'm sorry," he kept saying over and over, "I love you so much."

I closed my eyes in pain hearing him apologizing, confessing his love, and sobbing above me. That was the first time John beat me.


	21. Chapter 21: Run For Your Life

**Author's Note: Thank you to everyone reading this story! Here's a quite shocking chapter for you. Enjoy!  
**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 21: Run For Your Life**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **July 30, 1960**

John said a final apology before helping me off the ground. I was still in shock. I couldn't believe the man that I trusted my heart, soul, and life with would betray me like this night had turned out. I couldn't look at him in the eyes. I felt afraid of him.

John suddenly put his hand on my shoulder, and I winced from his touch. He sighed and dropped his hand from my arm. I think his heart just broke. I couldn't look up at him. I hadn't spoken to him since before the fight. I watched the ground. His black, worn boots slowly walked to the door, opening it, leaving, and closing again.

The sobs overtook me, my body shaking with fear and betrayal. I was so confused. I felt hatred toward him for what he had done, but at the same time, I tried to justify his actions with drink and pills. Preludin mixed with alcohol made John mean, but he had never hit me before. I knew I still loved him after all of that, and that's what made me so confused.

I built up enough courage to go the sinks to look in the mirror and try to clean my face up a bit. I cringed at my battered appearance. My cheek was red from the slaps, and blood ran from my nose past my chin and had dripped on my dress. Tears streaked my skin and mixed with the blood. My face just underneath my eye was swelling, and purple and blue color had come to the area around and below my eye. I didn't recognize the girl in the mirror. Beneath the reminders of John's rage was a tired looking girl with bags under her eyes and unnatural color from lack of sleep. It looked like a girl who had lost herself, poured her whole soul into someone else, which I had. I was a shell of myself, a shadow of the girl I used to be before following John to this godforsaken town.

I pumped some of the hand soap into my hands and ran the water to wash my face. I was surprised at how sensitive my skin was to the water and soap. I began crying again as I wiped my face with some paper towels.

I knew I had to go on and perform tonight, so I would have to leave this bathroom sooner or later. As I was about to grab the handle to the door, but it swung open. I prayed that it wasn't John.

Worse, it was Paul. I tried to hide my face by turning away from him.

"Sasha, what are doing in the men's loo?"

I didn't turn to him, "I was trying to find John."

Paul sighed like he knew something. He probably knew about the girl that John had dragged to the bathroom before I walked in on them. I still had that to think about as well.

He sighed again, "John's out there, Sasha."

I turned to hurry past him, but he grabbed my shoulder, "You alright?" Paul gasped as he saw my face, "Who did this to you?"

I stuttered, "It was nothing. It was an accident." _Why was I defending him?_

Paul rubbed his thumb over my fresh black eye, "This wasn't an accident Sasha. Tell me what the fella looks like, and I'll go kick his bloody arse."

I struggled out of Paul's grip on my shoulders, "It was nothing. I don't want you getting in a fight over me."

"You're my sister," he brought me into a hug, "I want to protect you. I know I've been a jerk lately, but the band is so close I can taste it. Hamburg's been stressful."

I began to cry into his neck. Paul really was sweet, even if he had been acting like a total diva in Hamburg. He was my brother, "Paul, I love you."

"I love you too, Sasha. You know that."

I wrapped my arms around his neck as I cried, "I want to go home, Paul. I can't live in Hamburg anymore."

Paul sighed, "I know. I feel the same way, but we all signed a contract. Allan said that we'll definitely be back before Christmas. All we have to do is hang in here for a few more months, and then we're done here. We can go back to our normal, simple Liverpool lives."

"I would like that more than you know," I replied.

Paul pulled away from our hug, "Now, just tell me what happened. Who hit you?"

I looked at the floor then back up at Paul, "John."

The boys were on stage minutes after my conversation with Paul. When I told him that it was John that hit me, he started to storm out to find John. I begged him to stay and told him that it was between me and John to work out later.

The entire eight hours of the night Paul glared at John, and John looked at his feet most of the time forgoing his rock 'n' roll leader personality. George took over as the talker, and he wasn't as comfortable with it as John was. I knew George was nervous. When my final set was over, I asked Klaus to walk me back to the Bambi Kino. He stayed with me until the boys arrived.

Klaus brushed past Stuart awkwardly in the doorway. Stu rushed to my side and brought me close to him. Pete walked in behind him, and George was the last to join. Without saying a word, Pete and George went to their respective beds.

I started to cry in Stu's arms, and he held me tighter, "It's all going to work out."

"Who told you?" I looked into his dark sunglasses, searching for his eyes.

"John," Stu took off his sunglasses, "He told me right after it happened. He was a mess."

"Stu, I'm so confused," I told him, "I want to be so angry with him because what he did was something that I never expected. I was afraid of him. I want to be mad at him and leave, but I love him, and I think I might forgive him."

Stu rubbed my back lightly, "I know you love him, and he loves you. What's today? He kept saying something about it happening 'today of all days'."

I gasped, "He did remember. I can't believe it after all that's happened."

Stuart was still confused, so I elaborated, "Today's our three-year anniversary of our first date. I never thought this is how it would turn out."

"Oh," Stu brought me into another hug, "You need sleep, love."

He left my arms and slowly climbed into his bed after undressing. I looked away as I caught myself watching him undress. I got into my nightgown, and I climbed into the covers.

Something was still on my mind, "Stu?"

"Hmm?"

"Where's Paul?"

Stu turned in his bed to face me, "He was talking to John. Don't worry, they weren't going to fight."

I nodded and rolled over to face the wall. I let tears silently stream down my swollen cheeks. I was in and out of consciousness hours later when I felt someone climb into bed next to me and snake their arms around me. I recognized the way he smelled and the way his body curved against mine.

"I'll never forgive myself," John's voice was barely a whisper in my ear.

"I love you," I mumbled, and his arms gripped around me tighter.

 **August 25, 1960**

It's been a month since the incident with John. Preludin and alcohol were a dangerous mix for him. Along with the stress from the band, John could become very lethal when intoxicated with the magic potion of alertness. I had been slapped and thrown into a few walls, but nothing ever came close to how he hit me in July.

There were rumors that we were to be moved to The Top Ten Club, the best club in Hamburg. Bruno, the club manager wasn't too happy about this, since we would take all of his business to the other club, but he would just have to get over it. I hoped we moved soon. A better club meant better living arrangements.

We had tonight off this week, so me and John went out dancing at the various clubs to spend some time with each other. Stu had tagged along with us since Astrid had gone away with her mother for the week. Stu sat across from us at the table drinking a beer with his sunglasses on. John had his arm around me. He reached in his pocket and popped a couple Preludin into his mouth. I frowned. I had tried several times to get John to stop taking them, but his stubborn mind wouldn't budge. He was on his fourth beer.

"Mama," he hadn't called me that in a while, "Can you do that thing where you kiss up my neck?"

He had a pleading look in his eye and desperate tone in his voice. I couldn't resist him. I began to plant soft, wet kisses up and down his neck. I saw Stu turn to look away at the dancing crowd. John opened his fifth beer.

I pulled from his neck, "John, do you want to dance?"

"Not now," he replied, taking a swig of beer.

Stu turned to look at us again, "I want to dance as well. You could dance with me."

I looked to John for a response, but he didn't seem to care that Stu had asked me to dance. Stu took my hand and led me to the dance floor. We danced to a couple of fast songs that the band played. I hadn't had this much fun in a while. Stuart and I were laughing whilst dancing across from each other. I don't remember the last time I laughed. The leader of the band announced that they were going to slow things down a bit. I started to walk back to the table, but Stu grabbed my wrist.

He pulled me close, "Stay and dance with me. Look at John, he's pissed. There's no telling how many beers he's had."

I began to dance with Stu to the slow song the band was playing. This was supposed to be a date night with John. We had wanted to get away from all of the crazy of our recent lives in Hamburg, and I was dancing with Stu. I was having a great time, just not with John.

Stuart looked into my eyes, and his faces my millimeters from mine. He leaned in a touched his lips to mine softly. Before I could enjoy or pull away, I was being dragged away from Stu.

"Stay away from her," John growled at Stu as he pulled me out of the club violently.

When we were outside, John pushed against the brick wall and began hitting me. I screamed out and begged him to stop, but his grip was too strong.

"You've been fucking him. When were you going to tell me?" He yelled in between hits.

I was screaming, but none of the drunken club goers were fazed by it. Suddenly, John was pulled off of me. I regained composure to see Stu and John going at it instead.

Stu was yelling, "Hit me instead! Don't ever hit her again!"

John threw him against the brick wall, his head slamming against it, "Don't tell me what to do, and stop shagging me girl!"

Stu slid down the brick wall, groaning in pain. John came to, looking around at what he had done. He suddenly took off running down the streets of Hamburg to escape. When I was sure he was gone, I helped Stu off the ground, and we walked back to the Bambi Kino, bloodied and heartbroken. That was the second time John beat me.

 **September 30, 1960**

It had been another month since the second big incident with John, but this time he hadn't stopped being aggressive toward me. Every so often, he would feel the need to give me a black eye. I know the other boys had noticed, but they knew better than to open their mouths to John, as did I. Paul hadn't said anything else about it to me, but I imagined that he wasn't very happy with the fact that I kept returning to John. I loved him too much to lose him now, and I knew that it was Hamburg, Preludin, and stress making him this way.

I got to the club with Astrid at half eleven. Stu approached us and kissed Astrid tenderly. The boys weren't due to start their set until 12:30, and I had the night off. I came to watch the first of their set with Astrid, then were going to go back to the Bambi Kino to paint our nails and have some much needed girl time.

Stu pulled me to the side, "Sasha, don't be upset when I tell you this, but John is having sex with a prostitute in the bathroom. I just wanted you to know. I'm sorry."

Stu brought me into a hug, but I pulled away, "How could I not be upset?"

I started to make my way through the dark, sweaty crowd toward the bathroom. Because of John's new behavior toward me at least once a week, our intimate life had been struggling. I don't remember the last time we even held each other as we slept much less made love to each other, and it killed me. I loved him so much, but I felt the John I love slipping away from me and being replaced with a John that I don't love as much. I've been trying so hard to keep a hold of him.

I barged into the bathroom. The prostitute was sitting on the counter with her legs wrapped around his waist as he thrusted in and out of her. I was disgusted seeing him with someone else.

"John!"

He turned around and pulled his trousers up, "What do you think you're doing interrupting me?"

"Excuse me?" My voice was shaking.

He slowly approached me, and the girl ran out of the bathroom. I was afraid. He was drunk, and I knew the John that I loved was long gone. His eyes were cold and shot daggers at me.

I tried to run, but he caught me roughly by the arm and pushed me against the wall, "Where do you think you're going? You'll pay for what you've done."

I went numb as I slipped into a state of shock. My hearing became muffled as I had a sort of out of body experience. John was hitting me all over. I felt the pain flare out all over my body, but inside I felt nothing. I felt empty. As John's fist connected with my face again, I wondered how I let it get this far.

He began punching my ribs and stomach, and I couldn't help but to finally let blood-curling screams out as he hit me. In a split second, I was being thrown to the ground. He pulled his trousers down fast, and knelt on the ground in front of me. He ran his dirty hands up thighs before ripping my panties off. I couldn't move. My body was numb with the pain that he had caused. He thrust into me roughly and without warning. A stinging sensation began low in my body as he pounded into me on the filthy bathroom floor. He brought his hand to hold tightly around my neck, slightly restricting my breathing. His eyes bore into mine. They weren't my John's eyes. They couldn't be because there was something evil behind them. I looked at the bright white lights shining from the ceiling. Tears ran over my temples and into my hair. I wanted to die. I wanted him to kill me.

John finished inside me with a loud grunt. He stood up and zipped his leather trousers. He gave my stomach a hard kick and spit on me before walking out of the bathroom.

I was lying there after he left, hoping that I would die. I couldn't face him after this. I don't think I could even look at him. My body felt like it would never move again as I lied there completely numb.

I began to close my eyes, until I felt someone lifting me from the ground with a soft voice, "It's alright, Sasha. I'm saving you. I'm getting you away from him."

I opened my swollen eyes to see Stu carrying me through the club and out the front door. I wrapped my arms around his neck as we climbed into a taxi. Astrid and Klaus were with us as well. I held on tightly to him. I never wanted him to let me go. Within minutes, we were at the Bambi Kino. Stu rushed inside behind Astrid and Klaus. He sat me down on his old bunk and started gathering my things.

"What are you doing?" My voice was hushed. I didn't speak too loud because of the pain in my throat.

Stu sat beside me and held me as Astrid packed my things into my bags, "You're going home. You can't stay. I want you to get as far away from John as possible for right now."

I didn't protest. I was too exhausted and too hurt to think about doing anything but going home. Astrid and Klaus grabbed my things, and Stu picked me up again. I was fading in and out. I just wanted to sleep. Soon, we were in the taxi again, and within a few moments, we were rushing through the Hamburg train station.

"It's late, but she can still get the last train out," Klaus explained.

We arrived at the platform, and Stu sat me down on my feet for the first time. I wobbled a bit before gaining balance.

Astrid spoke softly, "Stuart, she cannot travel back by herself."

I felt tired again, and started to lean over onto him.

Stu picked me up once more, "I'll take her back."

Astrid looked concerned and sad.

"Don't worry," Stu kissed her, "I'll be back tomorrow or the next day depending on how she's doing."

Once Stu and I had our tickets, Klaus took our bags to our seats on the train. Stu carried me and sat down with me in his lap. He had one arm around me, and the other was waving goodbye for now to Astrid and Klaus.

The train began to depart the station, and I began to sob. Stu held me tight. I was finally going home.


	22. Chapter 22: Breathe

**Something**

 **Chapter 22: Breathe**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **October 1, 1960**

By early morning we had made it to Calais, France by train. I was far away from Hamburg now. I was far away from John. I honestly believe that I am still in shock after last night's incidents. My eyes scanned the building. Stu was waiting in line at the ticket counter to get us on the next ferry to England. My eyes locked on a young couple embracing. The man looked like he was leaving for some kind of business trip with his briefcase and suitcase sitting beside his feet. They kissed once more before he made his way to the gate. She smiled and waved at him, and he did the same with a blown kiss before he disappeared. My eyes clouded with tears as I watched the couple say their 'goodbye for-nows'. I closed my eyes to let the tears slowly escape down my cheeks. When I closed my eyes, all I saw was John waiting at the end of the hall for me.

I imagined him apologizing over and over in the sweet and frantic way that he does. I imagined him begging for me to stay in that awful town just a few months longer. _We'll be in Liverpool soon enough, and then I will make you my wife and never look back, forever and always,_ John would say to me.

He wasn't here, however. He hadn't chased after me. I wondered what he was doing now. I glanced at a large clock on the wall and watched the tiny hand _tick, tick, tick_ to the small dash just before the twelve. When the small hand met the twelve, the second hand pointed to it. It was now two in the morning. I bet John was performing with the band, still drunk, still hyped up on Preludin. I shook my head as more tears threatened to spill over.

Where had I gone wrong? When did I lose my John to this new Hamburg John that was a monster with cold eyes and a dark soul? I just couldn't believe that Stu had convinced me to get out. I knew that I couldn't stick around. I knew that in the back of my mind, but all I wanted was for my John to hold me in his arms and tell me that everything was going to be alright. I was still numb, still in shock that I was sitting here miles away from John with a bruised face and an aching body, injuries that John himself gave me. I kept reliving it in my mind over and over again.

I felt a hand on my thigh and opened my eyes quickly, it was Stu.

"You alright?" he asked. I nodded, but I was lying.

We sat in silence for a good ten minutes. I knew that Stu didn't know what to say, and I'm glad that he couldn't find the words. Nothing anyone could say could make it any better.

Stu finally cleared his throat to speak, "The ferry leaves in ten minutes. It ends up in Dover, then we'll have to catch another train to Liverpool. I'll phone your dad when we arrive in England. The ferry's supposed to arrive around 4:30. We should be in Liverpool by ten."

I nodded again. I couldn't speak. I could only cry and nod. Stu brought me into a hug, and the announcer called our ferry number to board. I tried to sleep on the way to England, but every time I would close my eyes I would either see John or relive the night before. Stu called my dad when we arrived in Dover, and told him the time our train was due in. Stu carried me to the train station, as it was too far for my weak body to walk.

On the train to Liverpool, Stu ordered us some tea and snacks when the trolley came round, but I couldn't eat. I was sick to my stomach, and I wasn't sure if it was from the physical or emotional trauma.

"Sasha," Stu spoke quietly to me, "I know you don't want to, but you should probably eat something. It would make you feel better."

His words made me burst into tears, and I spoke for the first time since we had left Hamburg as he held me in his arms, "Nothing will make things better. Don't you understand? I just lost the love of my life. He betrayed me. He turned into someone else. I trusted him with my heart and soul and life. I gave everything to him, Stu. It's never going to get better because I loved him more than life itself, and now that he's gone I don't know what to do."

I sobbed and Stu held me tighter with each word, "I care for you, Sasha. I hate seeing you this way, but you couldn't stay in Hamburg. It changed John, and I didn't want it to change you. You couldn't stay and let him do those things to you and expect him to love you as much as you love him. I know it hurts, but someday it will get better. You'll find a man that knows how to treat you right."

"I wish it could be you," I muttered, ashamed of my suggestion.

"I do too, Sasha," he sighed, "but you know I love Astrid. The best thing I can do for you is help you through this. I won't rest until you're better, and…"

I watched as Stu closed his eyes tightly and grabbed the sides of his head with his hands. He grunted as he bent down to put his head between his knees.

My hand shot to his back, "Stuart, are you okay?"

He didn't answer me for a while. I rubbed his back lightly until he sat up again. I searched his eyes for an answer.

"Sorry, it happened again," he said.

"What happened? Again?" I needed to know what was wrong with my best friend.

"I went out to a club with Klaus and Astrid a couple weeks ago and ended up collapsing. I got this terrible headache. I'm glad I didn't collapse this time," he looked at my worried expression, "don't worry, this is only the second time it's happened, and this time wasn't as bad. I think they're from exhaustion."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" I questioned, "Do you need to see a doctor?"

Stu shook his head, "I don't need to see a bloody doctor. I'll be fine."

I sat back in my seat when I sensed that Stu didn't want to talk about it anymore. Within a couple hours, we had arrived at the train station in Liverpool. I told Stuart that I wanted to walk on my own, so my dad wouldn't be too worried about me. Stu carried my things.

I finally saw my dad standing at the end of the long corridor. People rushed all around. It was hot in here, and tears stung my eyes. I wanted run to him, but my legs wouldn't move. An overwhelming feeling of being home but without John overcame my mind. My legs trembled underneath me, and my body was aching all over. I looked down at my feet, which were standing in a pool of blood, before everything went black.

* * *

The lights blinded me as my eyes shot open. My body was still aching all over, but it was a dull ache now that seemed like it was going away. I moved my eyes around to see the sterile hospital room around me. I locked eyes with my dad, who was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed.

"Sasha, darling, are you alright?"

I nodded slowly at him, tears coming to my eyes once more.

"Is she awake?" I heard Stuart's voice before he came into view on the other side of me, "We were worried about you. You've been asleep all day. They're letting you go home tomorrow."

Stu always answered my questions before I even asked them.

My dad still looked concerned. He turned to Stu, "Ask her."

 _Ask me what?_

Stu sighed and grabbed my hand, "Sasha, is there anything you were hiding from us? Anything about you and John?"

"I don't understand," my hoarse voice hurt when I spoke.

Stu sighed, and my dad looked down at his feet. I still didn't understand what they wanted to know.

"What's wrong?" I asked them, "Tell me."

My dad didn't look up at me, and Stu cleared his throat and looked into my eyes, "You were pregnant. I'm so sorry."

The world went dark again.

 **October 3, 1960**

"Here you are, darling," my dad handed me a bowl of chicken soup.

"Thanks dad."

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, "I have to head off to work now. If you need anything at all, please ring my office."

I took a bite of the hot soup, "I will. I promise."

I listened as my dad opened and closed the front door and left me alone until six this evening. I was sat on the couch with a blanket tucked around me. I never thought in a million years that I was pregnant. The baby succumbed to a miscarriage, which explained the blood at my feet in the train station. It was a little girl, and the doctor's believed that she had been conceived in late June. My mind instantly replayed Stu's birthday weekend. It was better that she was gone, though. I didn't want to bring her into a world where her father wasn't with me.

I wiped a tear and continued to eat my chicken soup. Stu had gone back to Hamburg yesterday. He promised me that he would write me as often as he could. I also made him promise that he would phone me from Astrid's house sometimes, and I made him swear that he would never tell John about the baby. I still haven't heard from John. I thought I would. I thought that maybe he would phone me or chase after me to tell me he was sorry, but there's been no trace of him.

I don't know why I expected this new Hamburg John to fight for me. It was no use.

 **October 9, 1960**

 **Hamburg, Germany**

 **Paul's POV**

John threw a final punch at some random drunk sailor in the club. I had had enough of pulling him off of people, so tonight I just sat back and watched as he beat some poor sod half to death. I yawned, the night catching up with me. The man that had got in John's wrath was lying on a table now. John stumbled over to me and placed his hand on my shoulder. His eyes were half closed and he tried to find the words that he wanted to say.

"I'm goin' back to the Kino," he slurred, his beer-ridden breath hitting me in the face.

I sighed. John hadn't been himself since Stu convinced my sister to skip town. I knew they loved each other, but I was glad that she was gone. I hadn't approached John about his behavior toward my sister mostly because she hadn't wanted me to, and I was beginning to get closer to John again now that Stu was so preoccupied with Astrid. I didn't want to put a strain on our relationship on account of my sister's personal problems.

I watched as John stumbled out of the club after grabbing another beer from the bartender.

"Ready to go, Paul?" I heard George say from behind me.

"Yeah," I took the last drink of my pint before following George out of the club. Apparently, Pete had decided to stay and have a good time with a lady he met at the club. I had no idea where Stu was, and I didn't care. He hadn't shown up for the gig. There was no doubt that he was at Astrid's.

We walked a few feet behind John, who was singing and yelling obnoxiously at passers-by. It was quite embarrassing, actually.

"It's sad," George's voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

I shoved my hands in my pockets and watched John continue to make fool of himself, "What's that?"

"John," George replied, "Here he is on his birthday drunk out of his mind. The love of his life just left him all alone. He didn't care for cake or a party or candles. It's just sad."

I didn't say anything. I honestly didn't care about this conversation. I was just ready for bed.

George sighed again, "He hasn't been himself since she left. I thought he would've acted like he had just been let off the lead, you know? I thought he would be flirting with women and having meaningless sex with hookers, but he hasn't done any of that. He just mopes around, and if you try to ask him about it, he gets all defensive and says he doesn't want to talk."

I sighed. This was none of my business.

"Paul," George said as we rounded the corner to the Bambi Kino, "I know you don't want to talk about this, but have you talked to Sasha since she left? Have you phoned her or written to her? Has John?"

I turned to him, "How should I know what John does in his spare time? And, no, I haven't talked her."

I walked ahead of George to escape his incessant talking. I was knackered, and I just wanted for everyone to leave me alone so I could sleep. I got into the room a few minutes after John with George following closely behind me. John pushed past us to go to the toilet, ignoring George wishing him a 'Happy birthday' as he left the room.

A few moments later, I decided to head to the toilet before getting too comfortable in my bed. As I approached the door of the loo, I heard loud crying.

I opened the door to find John sitting with his back up against the wall and his head tucked to his knees. He looked up at me with red, puffy eyes. He was sobbing.

 **Sasha's POV**

 **Liverpool, England.**

Today was John's birthday. I wondered what he was doing in Hamburg right now for the big day. I wondered if he was missing me. I hadn't heard from him since I left, and I was beginning to wonder if I ever would. I had been writing songs nonstop since I got back home. I locked myself in my room for three days letting everything out through song with lyrics scribbled in my notebook. Now, I couldn't touch my guitar. I couldn't even look at it. What was the point of playing anymore if I couldn't ride the journey to fame with John by my side?

I hadn't cried since the train ride to Liverpool with Stu. I was still numb. I sat on my bed staring at the clock watching the night time hours tick by. I glanced beside my clock to the picture of me and John. I quickly moved my arm to hit the picture and cause the frame to shatter on the floor. I got out of bed and picked up the photo. I gripped it and ripped it in half. I found my photo album, and tore all the pictures of me and John from it. They were scattered all over the floor, and the emotions and memories from all the pictures flooded my body and caused my tears to spill over.

I sat in the middle of my bedroom floor with captured memories of me and John thrown all around me. I closed my eyes tightly. I was sobbing.


	23. Chapter 23: I Knew You Were Trouble

**Something**

 **Chapter 23: I Knew You Were Trouble**

 **November 30, 1960**

 **Stu's POV**

 **Hamburg, Germany**

 _Dearest Stu,_

 _I miss you. I haven't heard from you in a few weeks. I know you're busy, but I need to see you again. I need someone to be here for me. I need to feel loving arms around me reassuring me that someday I will be better. Tell me that someday I will be able to love again. Tell me that someday I'll forget about him like he has forgotten about me. I want so desperately to forget the way his lips feel on mine, the way he held me tight after we make love, and the way he speaks sweet nothings to me for only us to hear. Will the reliving of memories in my mind ever stop? I know that you are the only one who can comfort me because you are the only one who cares, Stuart. Paul, my own brother, hasn't bothered to check up on me and be the brother that I need right now. And John…he has surprised me. Long were the nights when my days revolved around him. All of those minutes of those three years have gone to waste in an instant. No letters, no phone call, nothing. We used to talk about marriage and a family, and now, we don't speak at all. Is it because he is ashamed of how he pushed me away? Or is it because he really is that cold-hearted and haunted nowadays?_

 _If you're wondering, I haven't picked up my guitar since before his birthday. I can't. I can't because every time I do, I end up in tears, feeling worse than before. I know my dad is worried about me since I spend most of my time alone in my room. He has arranged for me to go to America next month and spend the Christmas season with my mom in Nashville. I'm excited to get away from Liverpool for a while. And who knows, maybe I'll stay in Nashville._

 _I have made some revelations in all of my alone time, which is thinking time. This thinking time can either be productive or hell. I have some theories about my relationship with John, but maybe I'm just reading into it too much. I think when it's all over, it just comes back in flashes, you know? It's like a kaleidoscope of memories, but it just all comes back. But he never does. I think part of me knew the second I saw him that this would happen. It's not really anything he said, or anything he did. It was the feeling that came along with it. And crazy thing is, I don't know if I'm ever gonna feel that way again, but I don't know if I should. I knew his world moved too fast and burned too bright. But I just thought, how can the devil be pulling you towards someone who looks so much like an angel when he smiles at you? Maybe he knew that, when he saw me. I guess I just lost my balance. I think that the worst part of it all wasn't losing him, it was losing me, and I don't know if you know who you are until you lose who you are._

 _I hope that in his wildest dreams, he remembers what we had together and looks fondly on the times before Hamburg tainted it all._

 _I don't know when I'll see you again, but I hope it's soon._

 _Love, Sasha_

I think I was crying by the end of her beautiful letter. She's really made progress in making sense of her messy relationship with John now that it's been over for a little over a month. I cared about her more than anything, and I felt so awful that I haven't been able to write her within the last few weeks. I knew that I was the only thing that she had.

I looked up to see the other boys scrambling around the messy Bambi Kino room. I had come back to say goodbye to Paul and Pete, whom had been deported for doing something stupid, I'm sure. I didn't know all of the details. John was staying for a couple more days, until his train left. I was staying through the crimbo holidays to be with Astrid.

"Alright, Stu," I heard John say, "You gonna say goodbye to the idiots?"

I stood from my old bunk and shook Paul and Pete's hands. Paul gave me a fake smile. I was still confused about why he had started hating me so much.

I sighed, "Well good travels home boys. I'll see you on the other side in good ol' Liddypool. We managed to survive almost a year of Hamburg."

Pete said goodbye to me and John, and Paul only said goodbye to John. Good riddance, pal.

Once Paul and Pete had gone, John started tapping his foot nervously on the wood floor before pacing and finally sitting on his bed, "What are you reading?"

I sighed and folded Sasha's letter to place it back in the torn envelope, "A letter from home."

John looked at the floor again. He had been acting so weird since I took Sasha back to Liverpool. He hadn't mentioned her, but he'd flip out if someone else did. Once, I thought he was going to kill Klaus after he asked John about her. Her name hadn't slipped past his lips, but I could tell that she was all he ever thought about.

John kicked his guitar case and buried his head in his hands.

I sighed, "Is there any paper in here, so I can reply?"

John handed me a piece of paper and watched intently as I began writing my response to Sasha, "Stu," I looked up at him, "Is it from her?"

I didn't say anything. He knew it was from her.

My pen touched the paper again when John spoke, "She despises me for what I did, doesn't she?"

I looked up with him, my eyes making contact with his. There were tears in his eyes, and I knew they would spill over any second, "Listen, John. She can't come back to you, you know that, right? Not after what you did to her. If you want her back, you're going to have to go get her."

John looked at the ground. I saw a lonely tear drop onto the floor. I started writing my reply to Sasha once more.

 **December 10, 1960**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **Liverpool, England**

 _Sasha,_

 _I miss you as well. I am truly sorry that I haven't replied since a few weeks ago. Firstly, I have to admit that your beautiful revelation about your relationship with John brought tears to my eyes. I'm sorry that I haven't been there to hold you, and I am honored to be the one that you find the most comfort in. I am glad that you are going to Nashville to see your mother, but I'm telling you that you are not allowed to stay because I won't get to see you if you do. I'm staying in Hamburg with Astrid for Crimbo, and I'll be back in January. The first thing I will do when I get to Liverpool is come find you and hug you for hours._

 _Things have been quite insane in Hamburg since I last talked to you. The Beatles were offered a stint at the Top Ten, which you know is a big deal. Bruno the big jerk got mad and terminated our contracts at the beginning of November. We still played the Kaiserkeller until the end of last month, however. Then, each of the Beatles began dropping off like flies, and I will be the only one left in Hamburg pretty soon. The police found out that little Georgie was only seventeen and decided to deport him. He left on the 21_ _st_ _of November. Paul and Pete did something stupid that I didn't care to know the details of and got themselves in jail. They were deported on the 30_ _th_ _of November. John's due to leave on the 10_ _th_ _of December because he had to get Mimi to send him some money to get out of Germany. You may or may not know all of this by the time you read this letter because I don't know if you've talked to any of them._

 _John is sat on his bed crying silently. I don't know if I've told how much he's changed. There is no humor from him anymore. This isn't the John that we all know and loved. Hamburg has officially sucked the life right out of him. He asked me if I was writing to you, and if you hated him. I told him that you wouldn't be the one to crawl back to him, he had to get you back for himself. I can tell that he is heartbroken, and I so hope that he knocks on your door when he arrives in Liverpool._

 _See you soon. Love, Stuart._

A tear dropped onto the paper and smudged Stu's beautiful handwriting. I was hurt. My brother had been back in Liverpool for a week and hadn't bothered to call or visit to see if I was alright. Some brother he was.

I pushed the letter away and continued to pack things into a cardboard box. I had decided a couple days ago to pack all of the things that had to do with me and John in boxes and put them in the attic. I couldn't bring myself to throw any of it away. I stared at the last item to be packed in the box, one of John's leather jackets.

I couldn't believe that he was on his way back to Liverpool as I sat staring into this jacket and this box. If he knocked on my door, I'm not sure I could handle it. I sighed. I knew that I would jump straight into his arms and kiss him harder than I ever have before.

I taped up the top of the box and wrote 'John' on the top of it. I walked into the hallway and found the attic door in my dad's office. I went inside and placed the box next to some boxes of things from Nashville that I hadn't felt the need to unpack. Suddenly, the doorbell jolted me from my thoughts. My heart began beating fast. What if it was John?

I ran down the stairs and opened the door to reveal Mimi standing on my front porch. I sighed in disappointment and confusion. I hadn't talked to Aunt Mimi since before Hamburg. What was she doing here?

"Can I come in?" Her condescending tone made me cringe.

"Yes," I was too stunned to ask her intentions.

I moved from the doorway and walked to the kitchen, with Mimi following behind me, "Tea?"

Mimi sat at the kitchen table, "Yes, I would love some. I made some scones for us to share."

I fixed our tea in silence wishing that it was John that I was going to turn around to and hand a cup of tea. I took the mugs over to the table and sat across from her. I was still so confused, I think she realized this.

"Sasha, I want to apologize," she stated, "I certainly didn't know you had come back to Liverpool in October."

I gave her a weak grin and sipped my tea.

She spoke again, "I received a letter from John's friend, Stuart, the other day. He told me everything, and I will just have you know that I didn't raise John to treat a lady the way that he did. I'm embarrassed and sorry for his behavior."

I couldn't stop the tears now. I didn't want it to be Mimi sitting in front of me. I wanted it to be John. I wanted him to come and hold me as I cried. Mimi looked at me with sad, sympathetic eyes.

I was crying harder now, but I knew I had to say something, "I loved him so much. I never thought he would turn on me. We were engaged and so in love. I didn't think it would end that way. I wanted to marry him, Mimi. I wanted to have a family with him and become famous with him. I wanted so much, and I thought that he wanted those things as well."

"Darling, I can't tell you how sorry I am," Mimi sighed, "I know I was harsh on you at first, but then I realized how good you were for John. And, it's true what Stuart told me? He hasn't contacted you?"

I shook my head and looked down at my steaming cup of tea, "No letters, no phone calls. It's like he has erased me from his life. I'm trying to get over him, but it's hard. How do you forget about someone who you loved so deeply for three years?"

Mimi sighed, "I know that someday you'll find a man who will treat you well, even if it's not John."

I couldn't believe I was having this conversation with Mimi. It shouldn't be this way. She sat with me and talked for a long time. Soon, she was leaving with hug because she had to be home since John was coming home at dusk.

The sky had turned orange with the setting sun. I peered through the split in the curtains on one of the front windows. Then, I saw him.

John. It took my breath away when I saw him for the first time in two months. He was wearing the same leather pants and jacket that I had seen him in so many times. He had his bag in one hand and his guitar case in the other. A cigarette was hanging out of his mouth and his Buddy Holly style glasses were perched on his nose. I missed him more than I thought. As he passed my house, he didn't even glance at it, and my heart broke has he walked closer to Mimi's house without stopping here first. He walked in the front gate at Mendips and disappeared from sight.

Just like that, I knew that he didn't love me anymore.


	24. Chapter 24: Nashville

**Author's Note: I literally love writing this story so much, so here's another chapter again today! Thank you everyone who's reading and commenting! I would love to hear what you think about it so far!  
**

 **Without further ado, here's a quite shocking chapter you.**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 24: Nashville**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **December 19, 1960**

I hummed to the Buddy Holly record that was spinning on my player whilst I packed for my Christmas trip to Nashville. At first, I was looking forward to going and spending the holiday season with my mom, but now, I was dreading it. There was still a glimmer of hope that John would come to his senses and show up at my door. What if he decided to do it in the next two weeks when I wasn't home? I would miss my chance at him.

Who was I kidding? If John was going to show up begging for forgiveness, he would've have done it by now. He's been home for nine days.

From my room, I can see the sidewalk that leads to their house. Almost every day I've seen John pass my house with not so much as a glance toward it, except for yesterday. Yesterday he walked slowly past, smoking a cigarette. I was changing into my night clothes. I saw the outline of him on the sidewalk, illuminated by the street lamp, peering up to my room. I had decided to give him a little show and make him jealous. I slowly took my clothes off and walked around for a few minutes in just my bra and panties. I took it farther by stripping those things off and walking around to get my silk nightgown that he loved so much and slipping it over my head. I knew he was watching from the street the entire time, and I hoped that I was making him miss me. I thought for a second that he would come knock on my door, but he disappeared down the sidewalk once I was dressed for bed and brushing my hair.

I folded another sweater and placed it in my suitcase. A loud, swift knock sounded at the door, and my heart was beating fast.

"I'll get it!" My dad yelled from downstairs.

I let out the breath I didn't realize that I was holding and tried to steady my racing heartbeat.

My dad called up the stairs for me, "Sasha, Paul is here to see you."

My racing heart continued as the nervousness I had felt earlier turned to anger.

I rushed down the stairs to see Paul standing alone in the foyer, "What the hell do you think you're doing here?!"

"I…" Paul began to speak, but my hand made contact with his face accompanied by a loud slapping sound.

He rubbed his cheek, "That hurt."

"Good," I said, "You have some nerve to finally show up here."

He sighed and moved his hand to rub the back of his neck, "I'm sorry Sasha. It's just that John and I were getting along so well since Stu and Astrid were so close, and I didn't want to ruin it."

"You're so selfish!" I yelled at him, "Your so called 'best mate' almost beat your sister to death, and you were too far up his ass to do anything about it. You never checked to see how I was."

Paul grabbed me and hugged me tight, "And I'm sorry. I still love you, you know."

"I'm not so sure Paul. I'm not sure if anyone loves me," A tear rolled down my cheek and onto his shoulder.

Paul tightened his grip on me even more, "Why do you say that?"

I continued to cry onto his shoulder a few moments before finding the courage to speak, "No one has talked to me since that happened. I've written letters back and forth to Stu occasionally, but I'm so lonely. I spend my days in my house alone when dad's at work. When I needed you as a brother the most, you weren't there. And stupid John, I thought he loved me. I know, make me tell you that you were right about him from the beginning. Everyone warned me about him, but he got into my mind and made me actually think that he loved and had changed for me."

Paul didn't say anything. He pulled away from our hug and grabbed my hand to lead my up the stairs. We got to my room, and he closed the door before sitting down on my bed with me, "I'm so sorry that I wasn't here, but Sasha, you've got it all wrong. John did change for you. I actually thought that you made him a decent person. He does truly miss you, and I know he still loves you. Do you know how many times I walked into the loo to find him sobbing? And I know that it was over you. He does still love you."

"Then why hasn't he contacted me and apologized. Paul, if he apologized, I would fall right back into his arms. Being so lonely, and being without him for so long has made me realize how much I want to be with him. I don't know if I can ever get over him and get my life back to normal," I sighed, "I watch him pass my house every day, and he never even glances. Last night, he watched me get ready for bed, and I thought he was going to come to the door."

"Wait…what? John's back in Liverpool?!"

I frowned, "He's been back for nine days. I thought you would've talked to him."

Paul jumped up from the bed, "No, he hasn't bloody called or anything. You leaving really messed him up, Sasha."

I jumped up as well, angry again, "So all this is my fault?! Forget that he beat me and raped me in the bathroom and left me there to die. Forget that he killed our baby, but God forbid, I change HIM!"

"I'm not saying that, I'm just saying that…." Paul paused, eyes wide, "Woah, woah, woah. Back up. Killed your baby?"

I sighed and plopped onto the bed. The tears had come again, "Don't tell him. I made Stu swear to me that he would never tell John about the baby, and I'm making you do the same."

"I swear," Paul agreed, "but you were pregnant?"

"I didn't know until I collapsed in the train station when we got to Liverpool. The doctors said I had a miscarriage from the trauma. John punched and kicked me several times. It was a little girl. The doctors think that she was conceived in late June. I know it was Stu's birthday weekend when I got pregnant, and then, in July, I got sick. Astrid said that it might be from pregnancy, but I ignored it. I was in denial. I didn't want to be pregnant in a city like that when me and John were just starting to have problems," I explained.

Paul placed his hand on mine, "I'm sorry, Sasha. I swear I won't tell John."

We sat in an awkward silence until Paul spoke again, "Where are you going?"

I guessed he saw my suitcase, "I'm going to Nashville to spend Christmas with my mother. Dad thinks it will do me good to get away for a couple of weeks."

Paul walked to door after giving me a hug, "Well, I better go. You probably have to leave soon. Happy Christmas. I love you, sis."

"I love you too, Paul," I smiled, "Thanks for finally coming to see me."

Paul nodded and smiled before leaving my room. I heard the front door close. I watched out my window as Paul walked down the sidewalk and turned into the gate of Mendips. I wondered what he was going to say to John.

 **December 21, 1960**

 _Going back to Nashville, thinking about the whole thing_

 _Guess you gotta learn sometimes_

 _Maybe I'm storm cloud, blowing through the valley_

 _Tearing up a good July_

 _And it safe and warm, where nothing ever happens_

 _Could it be so hard to realign a star for you_

 _Exchange a southern man for you_

I scribbled some lyrics that popped into my head in the taxi on the way to my mom's house. Somehow, upon landing in Nashville, I had been hit by inspiration and lyrics. I guess Nashville just did this to me. I hadn't written a song in a couple months, and it was surprising even me at how frantically I was scribbling down these lyrics. Soon, the taxi pulled up to the big white house that I had missed so much. I paid the driver and walked to the front door. Before I could knock, the door flew open, and my mother's arms were around me.

The time in Nashville with my mom came and went. I told her absolutely everything about my relationship with John. She hadn't helped much on that because she was also confused. She didn't know if I should wait for him or go back to him myself. I enjoyed spending time and Christmas with her. It was so easy to get you mind off of things when you are in Nashville. Weirdly, I'm ready to go back to England and Liverpool. That's my home now.

 **January 7, 1961**

December had turned into January, and the weather here in Liverpool was much colder than when I left. My dad had to work when my train had arrived, so I caught another taxi to take me home. When I arrived at my house, there was an envelope taped to the front door. My heart began to race. What if it was from John?

I tore open the envelope and began reading:

 _Sasha, love,_

 _I'm back in Liverpool. Your dad told me you were in America, and he told me he would tape this to the door so you would see it when you arrived. Stop by my flat when you get home. I can't wait to see you._

 _Hurry up._

 _Stu_

I rushed inside and ran to my room. I put away my things as quickly as I could and called another cab. It was too frigid outside to walk all the way to Stuart's flat from Woolton. I freshened up whilst waiting for the taxi. I didn't understand why I was freshening up like I was going on a date. It was only Stuart.

I rode in the back of the taxi in silence to Stu's flat. I watched the sunset. It was always beautiful in Liverpool.

We pulled up to his flat building, and I walked in the front door. I began to panic as I made my way up the stairs and remembered that John lived with Stu. I hope John was at Mimi's. As I got closer to the door, I heard a Chuck Berry record playing. I reached under the mat to find the spare key that John and Stu always left for friends to walk in.

I opened the door to reveal Stuart with his back to me. He was working on a beautiful painting of what looked like Albert Dock. A cigarette was burning out in an ashtray, and the flat was a mess just like they left it. John wasn't here, but his mattress and belongings were here. I'm glad he wasn't here. When I breathed a sigh of relief, Stu turned around to see me.

We didn't say anything to each for the longest time. We stared in each other's eyes. I knew that Stu had liked me for a while, but it was only when he saved me and brought me back to Liverpool, that I realized that I may have some small feelings for him.

He rose from the stool his was sitting on and brought me into a loving hug, "I missed you, Sasha. You've been alright?"

I pulled away, "I'm getting by."

Stu flashed me a concerned grin and motioned to the couch, "Sit down with me."

I looked around nervously, fixating on John's belongings, "I should go."

Stu grabbed my hand and led me to the couch, "He won't be back until late. He went out with the other boys for drinks."

I looked down at my feet. It was weird being in this apartment again, but not being here to see John. Back before we went to Hamburg, I practically lived here as well. It was just weird.

"Are you hungry?" Stu asked me, "I bought a bottle of wine, and I can order a pizza."

I hesitated, "Okay."

Stu picked up the phone and dialed a number. While it was ringing, he said, "Relax, Sasha. John's not coming back tonight. I'm pretty sure he's staying at Paul's after they go out."

I exhaled some of my nervousness. Stu began to order our pizzas, and put the phone down when he was done. While waiting for the pizza to arrive, Stu and I talked and drank a glass of wine. When the pizza arrived, he sat the box on the coffee table and poured us more wine.

Half a pizza and almost whole bottle of wine later, we sat in silence.

Stu picked up another slice, "I shouldn't eat this, but it's just so good."

"It was good pizza," I agreed, sipping my wine.

I looked at him as he ate. He noticed I was staring and made a weird expression, "Is there something on my face?"

I laughed for the first time in a long time, "No. I was just thinking about how much I appreciate you making me relax and laugh and hang out without moping over him."

"That's what I'm here for," Stu said, "You know I care about you."

Our faces were dangerously close. The wine in my system took over as I brought my lips to his. The kiss made me feel things that I hadn't in a while, and I couldn't stop kissing him. Our kiss deepened and everything happened so fast. Before I knew it, Stu had picked me up and carried me to his bedroom. I heard the door knob click as he locked it just in case. He laid me down on his bed and hovered over me. Within in a few moments, we were both bare and running our hands all over one another's bodies. I didn't care anymore. Stu was taking away all my pain, and I honestly did care about him. As he kissed all over my body, I kept telling myself that this was just two friends showing each other how much they care for one another. We made love for what seemed like the entire night until he collapsed beside me and brought me into his arms.

I awoke to Stu's soft grunting that he does in his sleep, and loud knocking at his bedroom door. I sat up and wondered how late we had slept in.

The pounding got louder, and then I heard a voice yell that stopped my heart.

"Stu, get up! We've got to rehearse! We have a lunchtime gig, remember?"

It was John's voice.


	25. Chapter 25: Misery

**Something**

 **Chapter 25: Misery**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **January 8, 1961**

John's yelling voice that was coming from the other side of door made so many memories flash in my mind. I was in a trance of reminiscing when the doorknob jiggled and his pounding sounded at the door.

"Come on Stu! Open up!"

I sat up, holding the sheets over my bare, heaving chest. I looked at Stuart sleeping soundly next to me and began to shake him until he woke up.

"Hmmm," his sleep-ridden voice sounded with his eyes still closed.

"Stu," I frantically whispered to him, "John's at the door."

His eyes shot open, and he jumped from the bed, "Don't worry. I'll take care of it. He'll never know that you're here."

I watched as Stu quickly pulled on his underwear and some black jeans. He fixed his hair and grabbed his glasses from the bedside table, "Coming John."

Stu opened the door slightly so John couldn't see in and slipped into the hallway.

"What the bloody hell? Stu, we've got a gig at the Cavern in an hour and a half, and you're bloody sleeping," I heard John's voice scold him as I rose from Stu's bed to find my clothes from last night.

"Sorry, John. I just didn't feel well last night, and I just needed a good sleep," Stu spoke calmly to John.

I grabbed my clothes, which were thrown about on the floor by the bed and dressed. As I dressed, I continued to eavesdrop on John and Stu's conversation happening right outside the door.

"Well, I hope you had a good sleep," John said bitterly, "I told you to meet us at the Cavern at ten. It's almost eleven, sleeping beauty."

Stu sighed, "John, you're such a dick."

"Excuse Me?"

I cringed at the sound of John's angry voice. It was the voice he got before he became extremely livid with someone. I had heard it a thousand times. Mostly to other people, until he turned on me.

"You heard what I said. You may be blind, but you're not deaf," Stu fought back, "Ever since Hamburg, you've been a thousand times worse than before."

John didn't say anything.

"John, I knew you were violent before, but now it's to the point where I actually think you need some help. You can't solve all of your problem by just beating the crap out of someone. You just create new problems by doing that," Stu argued, "Maybe Sasha would still be here if you weren't such a psychopath."

I couldn't believe that Stu had mentioned me to John.

"Shut up!" John screamed.

Something hard hit the door. I hoped it was John's fist. I knew that he was angry beyond belief now.

"Shut up, Stu!" He screamed again, "You think I wanted you to take her away from me?"

"I didn't take her away, John," Stu yelled back, "I saved her. God knows you would've ended up killing her in your war path."

I gasped as something heavier hit the door. It was silent for a few moments before I heard sobbing. John's sobbing. I was praying that Stu wouldn't tell him I was here.

"John," Stu's voice was concerned now, "Get off of the floor."

I guessed that John was sitting against the door. Listening to his sobs brought tears to my own eyes. I stood from the bed and sat down on the floor with my back against the door. Our backs were practically against each other. I could feel his presence so strong on me, in me. Tears began to roll down my cheeks as I kept my sobs silent.

"I didn't want to hurt her," John said through his cries, "I'll never forgive myself, and she hates me. I know she does. I hate me."

"John," Stu said again, "If you don't like the situation, do something about it."

There was silence for a long time, until John's voice said, "Our gig's at 12:30. Please try and be there."

The door to the apartment slammed, and I gasped a let my sobs become louder. Stu opened the door and grabbed my hand. He led me to the couch and sat down with me in his arms.

"I'm sorry," Stu rubbed my back softly.

I looked at him, "What was that?"

Stu sighed, "I don't know. You were on my mind, and he hasn't mentioned you since you left, so I thought that I would bring it up. I didn't know he would react like that."

I couldn't answer Stu. There was a war in my mind. I couldn't believe that I had slept with him last night.

He grasped my arm, "About last night, I just care about you, and if you're angry at me, I understand. You just seem so lonely, and I wanted to help you. I care about you a lot."

"I understand. Don't worry," I looked into his eyes, "It was nice. I felt loved. It wasn't romantic because I don't feel that way about you, but I felt like someone actually cared about my feelings. Besides, I don't need another relationship right now, and you've got Astrid."

"I do have Astrid," he said, "but I also know that you are the first amazing woman that I ever met, and I know that you don't feel quite the same way that I feel about you, but it's okay."

I thought for a few moments until a crazy idea hit me, "Stu, I'm going to sound insane, but we could make this work."

He was confused, "What do you mean?"

"Well, last night I just felt so loved and cared about, and I need that feeling. I need it, especially since John isn't going to come around on his white horse any time soon. I know you're lonely when you're here in Liverpool without Astrid, and I'm lonely too. We could be lonely together."

Stu smirked at me, "The sex was that good, huh?"

I playfully smacked his arm, "Seriously. I needed it. I need you. You're the only person who cared enough about me to keep in touch and make sure I was okay. We could just sneak around, no strings attached."

Stu smiled at me, "I'm in. Are you busy tonight?"

"My dad's going out of town for a week. You could camp out at my place," I laughed.

Stu stood from the couch, "Well, this should be interesting. I need to get to the Cavern before John has me head."

I stood up beside him, "Be at my house tonight at eight. I'll cook dinner for you. Pack a small bag to stay over."

"I'll be there," Stu winked at me and turned to walk to the bathroom.

"Stu," he turned to look at me, "Thank you."

Stu smiled, "It's my pleasure. I'll see you tonight."

He closed the bathroom door, and I scurried out of his apartment and headed for the market to get a few things for dinner. I had to be insane to suggest this kind of relationship with my best friend, but he was all I had.

 **March 14, 1961**

"Ah, Stuart," I breathed as I bounced on top of him.

His hands roamed all over my upper body and thighs as I rode him, making his old bed creak. I was sure his neighbors could hear us. I was glad that John was spending less and less time at Stu's flat, so I could come over here more. I thought of this situation. We were crazy for starting this kind of relationship with each other, but no one had found out, and to be honest, it was fun and exciting.

Stu started moving his hips to meet mine, "Sasha," he moaned, wrapping his arms around my back to pull me down to kiss him.

He grunted as he finished, and I started panting loudly to ride my high.

I collapsed beside him, "Don't go back to Hamburg."

He brought me into his arms, "I need to. I have to see my fiancé," he laughed.

"But when will I see you again?"

He kissed the tip of my nose, "Soon. I promise. You know I can't stay away too long, especially now," I felt his hand squeeze my butt.

"So, you're not doing shows with the boys anymore?" I asked, rubbing his chest with my fingers as I lied in his arms.

"Paul hasn't told you?" He asked.

I shook my head. Paul and I were somewhat close again, but his loyalty to John made him distant. John still hasn't spoken to me, and I was starting to believe that I would never cross paths with him.

Stu smiled at me, "The Beatles are going back to Hamburg to play the Top Ten."

"When?!" I was shocked they were going back to the Reeperbahn.

"The 27th. Astrid's helping me fill out some paperwork to get the work permits. It gives me and excuse to get there earlier, I suppose."

I thought about what I would do if I had to go back to Hamburg. I probably would've have turned down the offer if anyone had asked me.

I sighed, "Your flight leaves tomorrow morning?"

"Yes," he said kissing me softly, "I know you'll be lonely, but I want you to promise me something."

"What's that?" I smiled at him.

"Get a job to keep yourself busy," he suggested, "NEMS record store is hiring."

 **April 2, 1961**

I strolled down Lime Street to meet my new manager and get started on my new job. I took Stu's suggestion and applied to work at NEMS record store. Stu and the rest of the Beatles were long gone, and probably killing themselves playing long hours in that dirty town that haunted my memories. I suppose Stu was right about starting a job. It would hopefully keep me busy and get my mind off of things. This was part of moving on.

I walked into the record store that I had visited countless times before wishing that my records would be sold in here one day. That dream seemed like a lifetime ago. I hadn't picked up my guitar since last October.

"Good Morning," A well-groomed man caught my attention.

I took his outstretched hand to shake it, "Morning."

"You must be Sasha," his accent was different from anyone I had heard in Liverpool. It was almost as if he was trying to sound like a Londoner.

I smiled, "Yes, and you are?"

"I'm the manager here at NEMS. My family owns these record stores," he had laughing tone in his posh voice, "I'm Brian Epstein."

 **Author's Note: Sasha met Brian! Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment and tell me what you think so far.  
**


	26. Chapter 26: My Bonnie

**Author's Note:** **Thank you for reading! My semester just started, so I wanted to let you know that I will be posting every Friday just so that I have a set schedule!**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 26: My Bonnie**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **April 4, 1961**

This was my first full day at the record store that I had been recently hired at. I haven't seen the owner of the store, Mr. Epstein, since he trained me for the position. I liked the job so far. It was relaxing, and I got to play my favorite records all day. Stu was right, it did help me get my mind off of things. I had sort of accepted that John wasn't coming back into my life anytime soon. I wondered why. It was his responsibility to apologize to me, but there's been no sign of him around here.

I was putting some 45s in alphabetical order when someone tapped me on the shoulder, "Are you the new girl?"

I turned to face a young girl with a small face and black hair. Her hair was pulled up in some kind of bun. She looked quite fashionable.

I smiled at her, "Yeah. I'm Sasha McCartney."

"Nice to meet you, Sasha," she had a Liverpool accent in her small voice, "I'm Maureen Cox."

"Hello, Maureen," I greeted, "You work here as well?"

"Yes, I got this job about a year ago. I'm saving up money to go to hairdressing training, so I can get out of boring grammar school."

"You're still in school?" I was genuinely surprised. She looked young but not that young.

She gave a small laugh and began helping me organize the records, "Yeah, I'm almost fifteen. I soon as I get enough money, I'm dropping out to start apprenticing in hairdressing."

"You don't look that young," I offered.

She laughed again, "Everyone tells me that I look older and more mature than I do. It helps sometimes. I can sometimes get into the clubs around here to listen to the rock 'n' roll. Do you like that kind of music?"

"Oh, I love it," I agreed.

"Listen, this might be an obvious answer," she hesitated, "but are you from the States?"

I smiled, "I am. I'm from Nashville, Tennessee."

"Gear," she said to me, "So how old are you?"

"I'll be twenty on the thirteenth."

"Well, Happy early Birthday," she laughed, "I'm sure I'll see you on your birthday. You know, if you want to be friends."

"I would love to be friends," I said. I was so relieved that someone other than any of the boys wanted to be my friend.

We continued stacking records until Maureen spoke again, "Say, do you know the band Rory Storm and the Hurricanes?"

"I do. I've seen them loads of times. They're quite good."

Maureen blushed a little, "I think I may have a crush on the drummer. I saw them last night for the first time, and I can't stop thinking about him."

"Oh, Ringo?" I asked, thinking of Ringo and missing him.

"Is that his name?" She sounded surprised.

I explained, "Well, that's his stage name. His real name is Richard. He's a good choice to have a crush on. He's really sweet."

"You know him?" Maureen sounded eager.

"I went to school here with him. He was in my literature class, and I've seen him around a bunch. My brother's in a band that crosses paths with the Hurricanes a lot."

Maureen's eyes lit up, "I'm so glad to hear that he's sweet. He's probably too old for me. Say, what band is your brother in?"

I hesitated. I wanted to leave out all of the details of me being a musician and my relationship with John, "The Beatles."

Maureen nearly screamed in the record store, "My friends and I love them. We snuck in the Cavern at the beginning of last month to see them. They put on such a good show. Not to mention, they're all handsome."

I glanced at the clock and noticed that my shift was over, "It was so nice to meet you Maureen, but my shift is over. I better get going."

She hugged me and smiled, "Sasha, I think we'll great friends. See you tomorrow."

I said my goodbyes to Maureen and headed out the door. I got a taxi home and thought about my new friend and new job. I guess I was moving on from John.

 **July 25, 1961**

"Are you sure you don't want to see the Beatles at the Cavern tonight?" Maureen asked me for what seemed like millionth time.

We had met for lunch at a café close to my house. Maureen and I had become pretty good friends over the last few months, but I still wasn't comfortable telling her about my past.

"No, I think I'm just going to go home," I told her, "but you have fun."

We said goodbye to each other, and I began the short walk to my house. I passed Mimi and John's house and thought about him. I knew they had gotten home recently since I saw him walk down the street to visit Mimi the other day. I hadn't heard from Stu. The last letter he sent me was from last month.

When I got closer to my house, I noticed a figure of a man sitting on one of the chairs on the front porch. His back was to me. I felt my palms start to get sweaty. If it was John, I wasn't sure what I would do. It had been so long since I had spoken to him that I didn't know what to say. I walked slowly up the front porch steps and sighed loudly as I was face to face with Stu, something was different about him.

"Stu, you scared me to death," I said, "Your hair?"

Stu rose from the chair and brought me into a tight hug, "Do you like it? John laughed when he first saw it."

I pulled back from him, keeping my hands on his upper arms as I got a second look at his new hairstyle. It was long and pushed down in the front to meet his eyebrows. I had never seen a haircut like it, except on Klaus of course, "It looks nice on you."

"You really think so?"

"Yes, you look quite handsome," I told him as I brushed through his soft hair with my fingers.

He looked deeply into my eyes, and I looked away before it got too romantic feeling. He placed his finger under my chin and leaned down to kiss me sweetly.

He brought me into a hug again, "I'll never get over the fact that you don't feel the same for me as I do for you. I missed you so much, Sasha."

I got scared again for a moment, "You're still with Astrid right?"

He chuckled into my neck, "Yes, and I love her. She's the one that gave me this haircut, and she also fashioned the other boys' hair like this as well. They're still growing theirs out."

I closed my eyes and breathed in his scent as his arms wrapped even tighter around me. He always knew when I needed a big hug. Stu had a sweet, compassionate, and understanding side that went to a level that I had never seen with John. At my brain's mention of John, as if on cue, he turned the corner in the distance and began walking down the sidewalk headed for Mimi's house. Before entering the gate, he stopped to look at me hugging Stu tight on my front porch. For the first time in nearly a year, my eyes locked with his. His stare was hard and jealous.

I looked away and released myself from the hug, "Come on, Stu. We have to go inside."

Stu looked confused and followed me inside. I slammed the front door behind him and began to pace in front of him. I brought my hand to my forehead in disbelief. I couldn't believe that John had just made eye contact with me.

"What's wrong?" Stu grabbed my arms to get me to stop pacing.

I breathed out heavily, "John was there."

I began to walk to the living room. I felt like I needed to sit down all of sudden. Stu was following closely behind me.

He sat down next me and brought me into his arms once again, "He was at Mimi's?"

I nodded slowly and hugged Stu tighter, "He looked at us. We made eye contact, and I've never felt so weird in my entire life. He looked angry and jealous, but he also looked like he was so sad."

Stu let go of me and looked into my eyes, "Forget about him, Sasha. How many times do I have to tell you? Forget about him. It's been almost a year. If he comes back to you after all this time, tell him to get lost. It's too late."

I nodded and tears surfaced in my eyes. I understood what Stu was saying to me. If John was truly sorry and wanted me back, he would've apologized by now. I couldn't let him in if he came back just because he saw me hugging Stu. I took a deep breath and exhaled.

"Are you okay now?" I nodded to him.

Stu sighed and sat back on the couch, "I suppose we have a lot of catching up to do. How's your new job? I know you told me about it briefly in letters, but I want to hear more."

I grinned softly at how much Stu cared about me. Someone actually cared me, "It's good. It helps get my mind off of things. My manager, the owner of store, he's really nice to work with. I just organize and sell records, and I get to put the ones I want on to play in the store when I'm working."

"That sounds great," Stu said grabbing the cigarette behind his ear and striking a match that he had found in his pocket, "I'm glad you're doing something besides sitting around all day. I think it was making you more miserable. This is all part of the moving on process."

I nodded, "I also made a friend. She's another worker at the record store. Her name is Maureen. I actually had lunch with her today."

Stu exhaled smoke from his mouth, "Sasha, I am really happy for you. You're moving on, and that's honestly what you need."

"What about you?" I asked him, "What have you been up to?"

He sighed, "Well, the art college here in Liverpool turned me down for that teaching program. They said I needed more training before I could teach."

"I'm sorry, Stu. So are you just going to continue in the band then?"

"Um," he hesitated, confusing me, "I'm not in…the band anymore."

"You left the band?!" I practically yelled, "How did the others feel about that? And why?

He put out his cigarette in the ashtray on the coffee table, "John was so mad at first, but he understands why I left. Your brother was quite happy, I imagine."

"Paul was just jealous of you, Stu," I explained, "He was jealous that you came along and became John's best friend instead."

"Yeah," Stu sighed again, "Anyway, I applied for the art school in Hamburg, and they let me in. I'm going to study there for a year, and then try my luck at the teaching thing here in Liverpool again."

I frowned, "So, you're leaving again?"

"Sasha," he grabbed my hand, "I need to be in Hamburg, with Astrid. During that time, I will slowly convince her to move to Liverpool, but by that time, we'll be married. We can't continue this when I'm married, you know?"

"I know."

He squeezed my hand, "But I'll be here for two weeks, so let's make it count."

I kissed him, "My dad won't be home until late. He was planning on going to the pub with some colleagues from work."

Stu swiftly stood and picked me up. I was laughing and shouting his name as he carried me to my bedroom. He plopped me down on the bed and hovered over me before kissing my neck. I was glad Stu was home, at least for a little while.

 **Late that night**

 **John's POV**

I lit a ciggie and relaxed for the first time today. I couldn't get her eyes out of my head. That was the first time we had made eye contact since Hamburg, and I wasn't sure how to feel about it. Plus, she was hugging Stu tighter than she had ever hugged me. I took a swig of beer and wondered if there was anything going on between those two.

I hadn't mucked up the courage to apologize or talk to her because I knew she hated me. What was the point of making a fool of myself by getting rejected by her? So, here I was, trying to move on. It's a lot bloody harder than it seems.

"The show went good, yeah?" Paul and his baby face sat down in front of me.

I looked at him, "Yeah."

Paul took a swig of his pint, "You alright?"

"I suppose," every time I looked at his stupid face, his sister plagued my mind.

Where would we be if I hadn't fucked everything up? Probably married or preparing for marriage. Now that I had made quite a bit more money in Hamburg, and the band was regulars for lunchtime and evening at the Cavern, I could have probably gotten us a small flat to share. My life with Sasha seemed like a lifetime ago, and I didn't want to feel that way.

"I'm heading out, you have fun Macca," I told him as I stood from the table.

I walked out onto to Matthew Street and slowly but surely made my way to the end of it.

"Excuse me!" I heard a girl's voice approaching me.

I turned to face her running toward me. As she got closer, I noticed that she was quite the looker.

"I heard you like blondes," she told me.

I laughed, "It doesn't matter what color hair you have. Silly girl, that's not what matters at the end of the night," I smirked.

She smirked back at me, "Your band was great, by the way."

"Ta," I said taking another big gulp of beer to finish off my pint.

I looked at her for a few moments. The image of Stu and Sasha hugging popped back into my mind. If Sasha and Stu were shagging around, then why couldn't I have a little fun too?

I exhaled some smoke from my ciggie, "You fancy some fish and chips? Maybe we could go to mine after that?"

"That would be lovely," she replied taking my hand.

I threw my pint glass. It hit a wall and shattered. I turned back to face her, "I didn't catch your name."

"It's Cynthia," she told me, "Cynthia Powell."

 **October 28, 1961**

 **Sasha's POV**

"So, I told him to get lost. I'm tired of these teddy boys thinking they can steal my merchandise," Mr. Epstein finished telling me a story about some thieves a couple days ago.

I was half-listening, but also half-thinking about Stu and how much I missed his friendship and comfort. Maureen and I had been getting along quite well, but she wasn't working today. It was just me and Mr. Epstein.

A young boy in a leather jacket approached the front desk where we were working, "I need to order a record. I can't find it in the shop."

"Okay," I said, "Can I get the name of it?"

"Well, you see, I don't know if you can get it. It's a German record," he explained, "but a local band plays on it. I saw them at the Cavern."

"We'll try our best to get it for you," Mr. Epstein cut in.

The boy looked at me, "Okay, it's called 'My Bonnie', and the Beatles play on it."

My heart stopped as he mentioned the band's name. Paul hadn't told me that they recorded something in Hamburg.

When I didn't reply, Mr. Epstein took the boy's name and number and told him that we would call him when it arrived. He looked at me, "Sasha, dear, are you okay?"

"Yeah," I replied, "That's my brother's band, and I'm just a little confused. He didn't tell me that they made a record."

Mr. Epstein grabbed his coat from behind me, "Well, I have heard of them, but I haven't seen them perform. When the record comes in, we'll have a listen, and then you can accompany me to the Cavern to see them. Since you know the band on account of your brother, you can introduce me to them if I like them."

"But," I tried to protest, but he cut me off again.

"I'm off, see you soon."


	27. Chapter 27: Enchanted

**Something**

 **Chapter 27: Enchanted**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **November 9, 1961**

I couldn't believe that Mr. Epstein had decided to drag me along to the Cavern to see the Beatles. When the record came in for the boy that ordered it, me and Mr. Epstein listened to it. He loved it and wanted to see what all the fuss about the Beatles was. So, here I stand, my palms sweaty and a million things running through my mind. It had been two years since I had set foot in the Cavern, the last time being with John of course. That was back when he fit in my poems like a perfect rhyme, back when I thought I wanted to marry and spend the rest of my life with him, and back when he was the John that I loved. It was before we even knew of Hamburg and the way it would ruin him and our beautiful romance. I knew I would see him tonight. After all, Mr. Epstein wanted me to introduce them if he liked their style. I knew that Mr. Epstein was big in the Liverpool music scene, but I didn't know that he was a manager looking for new talent.

"Sasha," he said, walking up to me on Matthew Street, "I'm glad you could make it."

I smiled at him, "I talked to Paul, my brother, on the phone this morning."

"Good. I hope they're as good as everyone says."

I followed Mr. Epstein into the entrance of the Cavern. The cobblestone street being traded for slick cement as we made our way to the stairs. Down we climbed to get to the underground club. The lights and noise were blinding. Couples and singles were dancing in front of the stage with drinks in hand to another band. Mr. Epstein chose a table in the back so we had a pretty good view of the stage.

It seemed like ages before the disc jockey finally announced the Beatles to the stage. The now four piece band took their places on the tiny stage. Pete was in the back at the drum kit. I noticed that he didn't have the same hairstyle as the other boys, the one that Stu had gotten first. George was to the far left of the stage, Paul in the middle, with a bass guitar now, and finally, John was on the far right. He took my breath away. I had to admit that he looked quite handsome with the new hairstyle. I hadn't been this close to him, face-to-face, since Hamburg, and I wasn't quite sure how to feel about it. All I knew was that I missed him.

They began to play their set, the crowd rocking to their sound. They had gotten better since I last heard them. It seemed like they finally had their style. I couldn't keep my eyes off of John. I missed him. I wished that I was here as his fiancé or even wife cheering him on. After the show, I wished I could greet him with a kiss like I used to, and then we could head back to a bedroom at our house, and he could make sweet love to me.

I shook my head to get that thought out of mind. I couldn't do this. I couldn't think about what could be. It was over. We were over. If he wanted me back, he would've come and apologized by now. Nothing would ever be the same between us.

I suddenly felt hot and crowded, "Mr. Epstein, would you like something to drink?"

He looked at me and shouted over the music, "I'll have scotch and coke."

I walked away, not letting my eyes leave John on stage. I didn't know what I would do if he returned the stare. I ordered the same thing as Mr. Epstein to give it a try.

The bartender recognized me from the gigs I used to do, "Sasha McCartney! I haven't seen you around here in ages! You still play music?"

"No, actually, I don't do that anymore," I replied. I really didn't want to talk about this.

He frowned, "It's a shame. I thought you were really talented. I suppose you're not with that fellow in this band anymore."

That hurt, "No."

I grabbed my drinks and didn't say anything to him as he told me to have a good night. That was the first time anyone else other than close friends has asked me about John, and considering it was a little over a year since our messy break up, it hurt more than I think it should have.

I sat down with our drinks and prayed for the show to be over soon, but then I would have to be inches away from John. I didn't know if I could handle it.

When the boys were done, I led Mr. Epstein backstage to meet the Beatles. When we walked into the room, John kept his back to me. Paul must have warned him that I was coming. Paul turned and ran to give me a tight embrace.

"Everything will be okay. Just look at me," he whispered before pulling away.

Paul made the boys line up to face me and Mr. Epstein. I kept my eyes locked on Paul, but I could feel John's eyes tearing into me as soon as he turned around. I knew he wanted me to look at him, but I wasn't going to do it.

I kept my eyes on Paul, "Boys, this is my manager at NEMS Record store, Mr. Brian Epstein. He's interested in managing your band," I turned to Mr. Epstein, "This is my brother Paul McCartney."

I was doing well so far, but now for the difficult part. I took a deep breath, "This is John Lennon," I looked at the floor as I introduced him.

He stuck his hand out to shake Mr. Epstein's hand. I instinctively flinched when his hand came so close to me. He dropped it to his side again.

I continued to introduce the other two, "This is George Harrison and Pete Best."

"Well, it's certainly nice to meet you all," Mr. Epstein said, "I am truly struck by your talent and personal charm. We will need to set up a meeting if you are interested in me being your manager. I believe I could get the recognition this band deserves."

"It sounds great," John spoke, and his voice sent shivers down my spine, "We can meet day after tomorrow."

"Perfect," Mr. Epstein replied, "Sasha, thanks for introducing me to the band. I'll see you at work tomorrow."

Mr. Epstein went on his way. I looked up to find young George staring at me, and I still felt John's eyes on me as well. George was always the youngest, and the member that I never got really close to, mainly because I was with John and Stu most of the time. His staring made me uncomfortable, so I began to look around awkwardly.

Within a split second, my eyes jerked the wrong way and locked with John's. My whole world stopped. His eyes were pleading, and mine probably looked afraid. I couldn't believe that I was inches from John, looking in to those hazel eyes with tiny specs of green. They weren't the cold eyes that I left in Hamburg. They were the eyes of my John, soft and pleading.

I felt tears surface and choked as I tried to speak. I clamped my hand over my mouth and ran from the boys to the stairs to get out of here.

"Sasha!" I heard John call my name. His voice sounded good saying my name, and I had missed it, but I just had to run.

I got outside in the cold air. My breathing was heavy, and my heart was racing. A hand grabbed my shoulder. I jumped and turned around to face Paul.

"You scared me. I thought you were him," tears were streaming down my face.

He brought me into a hug, "It's just me. You're okay," he pulled back from our hug and searched my eyes, "Sasha, please move on from him. Don't let it hurt anymore."

I was confused, and when I didn't answer he spoke again, "He's moved on, and you should too."

"What do you mean?" I choked out through the tears.

Paul looked sorry, "He's got a girlfriend."

I couldn't feel a thing.

 **December 12, 1961**

I sat on the edge of Paul's bed as he tied his tie. I stared into space just thinking about nothing in particular.

"Please come tonight Sasha," I heard Paul say, pulling me out of my trance.

"No, John will be there," I said shaking my head, "You know how I freaked out last time I saw him."

Paul sat down next to me, "Sasha, John has a new girlfriend. He doesn't care about you anymore."

That hurt my feelings more than it should have, "I just don't want to see him. It'll bring back too many memories. Good and bad," I told him standing up and walking to the window.

Paul stood too, "Sasha, you're being silly. You can stay by my side the entire night. You don't even have to look at John. Dot won't be able to make it, so you can be my date."

"No Paul," I said turning and facing him.

Paul sighed, "Sasha, The Beatles just got signed. We're going to be famous, and my sister doesn't even care."

"I care."

Paul gave me a look, "It would mean the world to me if you would come to this party. Celebrate with me, this is a big deal. Maybe Brian will sign you as well if we tell him about the real you."

"Paul, you know I haven't played music since Hamburg. That was just a stupid teenage dream that I had," I said sitting down again.

"Sasha, you were so good," Paul said, bringing me out of my thoughts, "Your songs were amazing."

"I don't want to play music ever again," I said looking at the ground.

The truth was that I longed for that moment when I could pick up a guitar and play without thinking about what stupid John Lennon did to me.

"Well, at least come to this party, and be proud of your little brother," Paul said kneeling down in front of me, "You're already cleaned up too. Please, please, please."

Paul made his already puppy dog eyes look even more like puppy eyes with his pleading. He stuck his bottom lip out in a pout and clasped his hands together to beg me.

I laughed and rolled my eyes, "Alright, just never do that dopey face ever again."

"Promise," he said jumping to his feet, "Come on."

I grabbed my sweater and purse and followed Paul out the door and down the familiar streets of Liverpool. We walked up to the front door of a big white house with the boom of music echoing through the walls and drifting through the nighttime air. I followed Paul inside and through the hordes of people mingling, eating, and drinking. 'Roll Over Beethoven' by Chuck Berry was playing loudly throughout the house.

Paul got me a drink and stood with me whilst different people walked by and briefly mingled with him. I looked around at everyone. My gaze stopped on John, who was nuzzling against some blonde in the corner like he used to do with me at parties. I needed to get over him. Why couldn't I get over him?

"Do you remember George?" Paul said, directing my attention back to him.

"I do," I sipped some of my mulled wine, "I wasn't great friends with him, but I remember."

Paul spun me around so my body was facing his, and he leaned closer, "He fancies you a bit. I told him you were going to be here, and he said he was going to ask you to dance."

I groaned, "Paul, I can't dance with George."

"He's just a kid. Be nice," Paul said, "and besides, you need to stop thinking about John and have some fun. You and George could have a great time."

"I'm not much for dancing," I said.

"Just do it for me," he gulped the last of his drink, "It'll make little Georgie's night."

As if on cue, George walked up to us. He was so much taller than I remember, and his hair was longer than the other boys and brushed past his bushy eyebrows, "Hello, Paul."

"How are ya, George?" Paul asked, "Swinging party, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it's gear. I can't believe it's for us," George looked to me, "You alright, Sasha?"

I smiled at him, "Yeah, George. You?"

"I'm great. I'm going to be famous," he laughed. His laugh was big and kind of cute. _God, Sasha, stop!_

A few moments of awkward silence passed before George asked the dreaded question, "You don't have to, but I was wondering if you'd like to dance."

I looked at Paul, who encouraged me with his eyes, "I'd love to dance with you, George."

George took my hand and led me to the center of the room. 'I Can't Help Falling in Love' by Elvis Presley began playing. George pulled me closer by putting his arms around my waist. I followed suit and put my arms around his neck. I looked into his gorgeous chocolate eyes while we slowed danced. Our bodies were touching, and something happened deep within me. It was a feeling that I hadn't felt in a long time. It had been so long since I'd had this feeling, that it was almost foreign to me. George was very handsome, and I looked deeper into his eyes, which were looking into mine lovingly.

"Your eyes are beautiful, you know?" He said. George's accent was a lot thicker than the other boys, and I found it very attractive.

"You're sweet," I replied.

George smiled at me, "You look extremely beautiful tonight as well."

"Thank you," I smiled, "You're not too bad yourself, George."

George looked down at our feet, and then up at me again, "This is so embarrassing, but I've wanted to dance with you for a long time. I've fancied you for a long time, but John scared me."

"John scared me too, to be honest," I chuckled. George laughed at me. John never thought I was funny.

He cleared his throat, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Are you busy Wednesday?" He asked me.

For the first time in a long time, I felt attracted to someone. George's presence was certainly casting a spell on me, and I didn't hesitate to answer him, "I'm free on Wednesday."

"I was thinking that you could meet me for lunch at that café called Le France. If you like French food, of course," I could tell that George was nervous asking me out.

I smiled, "I love French food."

"Great, it's a date then," he said.

I just smiled at him. Dancing with George made me feel happy, and I don't remember the last time I felt truly happy. Nothing was on my mind but the man in front of me, and it was a nice change. I hugged George closer to me as another slow song that I didn't recognize began. As we moved in a small circle, I saw Paul standing against the wall smiling at us. George could be something special to me. He was so sweet, and so far, he was treating me well. I could tell that he was gentleman, and his mother raised him right.

The second song ended, and George pulled away, "Sorry, Sasha, but I have to head home."

I frowned slightly, "Oh, alright. I had a lovely time dancing with you. I'll see you Wednesday at noon?"

"See you then," he said, "Bye, Sasha."

Unexpectedly, George leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips. As he pulled away, I smiled. It was a good kiss, and I hadn't wanted it to end. I watched as George left the party. I stayed and talked to Paul a few more minutes before heading out myself.

I was gushing all the way home thinking about George. This night had been flawless, and I just hoped that George wasn't in love with anyone else. I hoped that he didn't have anyone waiting on him because I wanted him.

After all, I was enchanted to meet him again.


	28. Chapter 28: Begin Again

**Something**

 **Chapter 28: Begin Again**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **December 17, 1961**

I took a deep breath in the mirror. It was Wednesday. I think I looked alright to meet George for lunch. I hadn't spoken to him since the party on Friday, but I hadn't stopped thinking about him. I never thought that I would feel this way again after John, and yet, butterflies would erupt in my stomach each time I thought about George and his lips.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I had actually done makeup today for the first time in months. I wore a dress with my hair up in a high ponytail. I grabbed a lipstick tube off of my dresser and pigmented my lips with the red stain. John liked when I wore red lipstick.

I slipped my feet into high heels. John hadn't liked it when I wore high heels because he wanted a nice height difference between us. I thought of how tall George was and grinned to myself. It was foreign that I had grinned thinking about someone else besides John.

I made my way downstairs and grabbed my purse off of the table by the front door. My dad had gone on a business trip for the rest of his month. He was going to be spending Christmas in Colorado with his family, and I had decided to stay in Liverpool and celebrate Christmas with Paul, Mike, and my biological father.

I took a deep breath again as I locked the front door.

I got to the café a little early and expected George to be late like John would've been, but he was there at a table in the corner. His chocolate eyes met my blue ones, and he stood and waved. I walked over to him.

He kissed my cheek after giving me a warm hug, "You look beautiful."

I smiled at him. George pulled my chair out and helped me in. He really had no idea how nice that was considering that John would've never done that.

"It's nice to see you again," I confessed.

He grinned at me, "I almost called you. I don't think I should go without seeing you as long as we did this weekend."

I smiled at him. The waitress came and took our order and gave us some glasses of coke, which George had ordered before I got there.

He stared at me as I sipped my coke through the straw, "I really like you, you know."

"Already getting to the serious conversation?" I winked at him.

He chuckled, grabbing a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, "Fancy a ciggie?"

"Have you forgotten that I don't care for smoking?"

George lit his and puffed some smoke into the air, "I guess I never really paid attention."

George and I kept the playful flirting going on until our food arrived. George told me about all of his family, and I told him about mine. He talked about the boys' second trip to Hamburg in the summer, careful not to mention anything about John.

"So, we never had a cat again thanks to my mother," I finished telling a story from my childhood.

Suddenly, George threw his head back laughing like a little kid. The laugh lines around his mouth became deeper, and his eyes squeezed shut. John never thought I was that funny. George opened his eyes and looked into mine deeply. He grabbed my hand from across the table. We looked into each other's eyes for what seemed like an eternity. I studied him, and he studied me. George was much more romantic than John. I was so comfortable around him. I never thought I would be so comfortable around a man ever again.

I trusted George. I felt like I knew him completely. I think I was falling in love with him. I had to be careful. I didn't want things to move as fast as they did with John. I needed to get to know George better, even if I felt like I knew him enough. I thought I knew John, but he turned on me.

Soon, George was paying the bill, and we were walking down the block. George grabbed my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. It felt nice to be holding someone's hand again. I was about to bring up John when George smiled and looked at me.

"So, every Christmas my family watches 'A Wonderful Life' and 'White Christmas' on the tele. Mum makes Christmas cookies and we all sit around reciting the lines and singing the songs. It's quite fun."

I smiled, "It sounds fun."

George grinned. His hand squeezed mine, and I could tell that he was suddenly nervous. He cleared his throat, "Um, I was wondering if you would actually like to spend Christmas with my family. You know, since your dad's away. Also, I imagine Christmas to be kind of boring at the McCartney household," he chuckled.

I looked at him. We had stopped walking now. Everything felt so right, "I would love to spend Christmas with you, George."

"Good," he exhaled, "You could bring your things and stay at ours for a couple days."

"I'll come the day before Christmas Eve and stay. It'll be a nice change of scenery," I said.

My teeth started chattering from the cold, and George brought me into a warm hug right there of the middle of the sidewalk, "I'm so happy. I really like you a lot, Sasha."

"I like you a lot too, George," I muttered into his shoulder, "I better get going, though. My shift at NEMS starts soon. I get off at eight, though."

George pulled away from the hug, "I had a nice time today."

"Me too," I said.

We stood there awkwardly for a few seconds. This feeling was still so new to me. Suddenly, George leaned in and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck wanting the kiss to deepen. I felt his hands grab my waist as his tongue entered my mouth. The kiss was exhilarating, and for the first in over a year, the past was the past. I could look to my new future, hopefully with George.

He pulled away, "Wow."

"Yeah," I smiled.

George kissed me softly again, "I'll call you tonight."

"Okay, I'll be expecting your call."

George and I hugged again, and we walked our separate ways. I couldn't stop smiling the rest of the day. I couldn't wait for Christmas.

 **December 23, 1961**

I walked up to the brick row houses on a street called Upton Green. I walked to the front door of the one that George had told me the number and knocked. The door swung open, and George scooped me into his arms.

"I missed you," he kissed me.

I smiled at him, "I missed you too."

It still felt a little weird, but I was hoping the holidays with him would allow me to loosen up some more.

George grabbed my bag for me, "Come in. My dad's here, but mum just went out to the shop to get a few things. My brothers and their wives are coming tomorrow."

"Is your sister coming?" I asked, remembering George telling me about his older sister.

"No, she can't make it. She just moved to Illinois with her husband. He's American, you see," George explained to me as I followed him up the stairs.

"Well, this is my room," George said as we entered a small room with a twin sized bed and a few guitars next to the wardrobe.

"It's cozy," I said, looking around.

George wrapped his arms around me, "I hope you don't mind sharing a room with me. I can sleep on the floor."

I looked up at his face, "You don't have to. It seems like it gets cold in here at night, and I might need someone to keep me warm."

"Cheeky," he smirked before kissing me softly.

The next day, George's brothers had brought their wives, and we had sat around the television watching 'A Wonderful Life' and 'White Christmas' in true Harrison family tradition. That evening George and I helped bake cookies and cakes with his mom. When the Christmas baking was done, we headed upstairs and cuddled each other until the morning. George was really growing on me. He was sweet, his family was sweet, and they seemed to like me as well. George really knew how to treat a lady, and I appreciated the fact that he didn't really want to rush things. The point we were at in this relationship was still the 'getting to know each other phase' with lots of stolen kisses. There hadn't been any pressure from him to go farther than that or say the L-word.

On Christmas morning, George shook me awake, "Sasha, it's time to exchange gifts."

I nodded and got out of bed. I stayed in one of his button down shirts and a pair of his boxer shorts. I brushed through my hair and grabbed his hand so he could lead me down the stairs. George had told me about their gift-giving, and he told that I didn't have to get anything since I didn't know his family yet. I got George a few American records that I would give him later, in private though. Mrs. Harrison handed me a mug of hot cocoa while I watched the Harrisons exchange Christmas gifts. I didn't feel left out at the moment, but I knew that next year I definitely wanted to be a part of this.

We had a large English breakfast and lounged around until supper. Mrs. Harrison cooked a huge meal again, and we pigged out once again, especially George. I was surprised at how much a man of his stature could eat. It was quite hysterical.

After supper, me and George headed to his room for so alone time together. I grabbed the bag that I was hiding in the bottom of my suitcase and handed it to him, "Merry Christmas, George," I said, kissing him on the cheek.

"Darling," he had recently started calling me that, and I swooned every time he did, "You didn't have to get me anything."

"It's Christmas," I said simply, "Open it!"

"Alright, alright," George grabbed some tissue paper from the top of the bag and pulled it out.

He pulled out the two records that I had wrapped individually in wrapping paper. He unwrapped and read over the covers of the albums, "Thanks, Sasha. I haven't heard of these before."

I smiled at him, "They're American. My mom always sends me the popular records at the moment, and I liked those so much that I told her to send me another copy so I could give them to you."

"Thank you. If you like them, I'll like them, for sure," he gave me a large toothy smile, those laugh lines growing deeper in his cheeks.

I laughed a bit, "You know, George, I've never noticed before, but you have fangs."

"What do you mean?"

"A couple of your teeth look like fangs. Like Dracula," I smiled.

George looked genuinely concerned now, "Really?"

I laughed at him, "Don't worry. I think it's cute."

He giggled and leaned toward me. Before kissing me on the lips, he dipped his head down and kissed my neck, gently biting the skin, "I am Dracula," he murmured.

I laughed and grabbed the side of his face, "You're cute."

We stared into each other's eyes for a moment before I decided to get heartfelt, "George, I can't thank you enough for being so kind to me. I was beginning to think that all love ever did was end, but now, I'm not so sure. I didn't know if I would be able to feel this close to someone again, but you make me feel so special and wanted."

George stood up from the bed and walked over to his wardrobe. He grabbed a small gift bag and sat down next to me again, "I care about you a lot. I've had a crush on you for a while, I'll admit, but I wasn't sure I would ever get the chance to be with you. These last few days, well, I think I've fallen in love with you. You don't have to say it back, but just know how I feel about you."

He handed me the bag and motioned for me to open it. I grabbed a box inside the gift bag and pulled it out. I looked up at him, and he gave me a toothy grin. I still couldn't believe that George had told me he loved me. I wanted to say it back, but it felt too soon. I opened the box to reveal a silver necklace with a heart pendant hanging from it.

I took it out of the box, "This is beautiful, George."

"Happy Christmas. I was wondering if you'd be my girl."

I smiled at him again, which was something that I couldn't stop doing, "Of course I will."

George smiled at me. I felt tears coming to my eyes. I tried to hold them in, but a lonely one slid down my cheek.

George wiped it away quickly, "Don't cry, darling."

He brought me into a hug, and I held on tight to him, "I'm sorry. I just thought that I was never going to find someone again. I did love John, you know, and," I started to cry harder. That was the first time I had mentioned John to anyone other than Stu and Paul.

George pulled away and searched my eyes, "I know you loved him, Sasha. I know that a relationship like that is hard to get over when it just ends. I can swear to you now, though, I will never betray you, and I will never hurt you like he did."

I hugged him again as I cried. I knew George was being sincere, and I appreciated that. All I could do now was look toward the future. I suppose that I was finally over John.


	29. Chapter 29: Ask Me Why

**Something**

 **Chapter 29: Ask Me Why**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **January 17, 1962**

It had been almost a month since George asked me to go steady with him. We had been out almost every night together. We would go to films, or out to eat, or try our luck at bowling. He was begging me to come to one of the Beatles' shows at the Cavern, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't go there with George yet, even if he insisted that it wasn't a big deal. He said that John was with Cynthia, and he knew that George and I were together now. I still didn't feel comfortable with it.

I was sweeping the house when the doorbell rang. I propped the broom up against the wall and skipped to the door, hoping it was George. I was met with an entirely unexpected face.

"Good evening, Miss McCartney. I hope I'm not interrupting anything important," he said in a posh accent.

"Stu," I breathed, hugging him, "What are you doing here?"

He stepped inside the door, "I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd drop by."

I closed the door behind him, and he followed me to the kitchen, "When did you get back into Liverpool?"

"Yesterday," he replied, "I would've come to visit you last night, but I hung out with John at The Grapes, and he told you were out with a new boyfriend anyway."

Stu was smirking at me, but I was worried about what John had told him, "What else did he say about it?"

"He wouldn't talk about it. He seemed pretty annoyed and upset. He wouldn't tell me who it is, so I figured that you would," Stu grinned and lit a cigarette.

I let out a sigh, "It's George, from the band. I'm going steady with him."

"You didn't tell me! Since when?"

"Last month. He's so sweet, Stu. He's such a gentleman. It's such a change from John. We're taking things slow, and he's okay with that," I explained.

Stu blew a cloud of smoke from his mouth, "So, by taking it slow, you mean that you haven't had sex yet?"

"Stuart," I hit his chest, "No we haven't, and there's nothing wrong with that. I don't want to do anything until I completely trust him, and he knows that."

Stu raised an eyebrow at me, "This doesn't change anything between us, does it?"

I smirked at him, "I guess not."

"I missed you, you know," Stu threw his cigarette in the sink and stepped closer to me.

Stu leaned in and kissed me softly. I felt a bit guilty, but I kept telling myself what I had been repeating every time Stu and I got together. We were just best friends showing each other how much we cared for one another.

"I should tell you that I leaving tomorrow to go back to Hamburg. This was just a quick trip to see friends and family. I've got to get back to school," he whispered.

"Let's make it count, then." I leaned in to kiss him again.

We made it up the stairs to my room and were kissing and undressing each other when I saw a figure on the sidewalk looking up at me. I pulled away from Stuart and looked straight at the figure. He threw is cigarette on the ground and flipped me the bird before running to Mimi's house.

"John," I breathed.

"What?" Stuart asked coming up behind me and kissing my neck.

I escaped his grip and closed the curtains, "John was down on the sidewalk. He saw us."

"I'll take care of him later," Stuart whispered before kissing me again.

I pushed him away, "He could tell George about this."

"Sasha," Stu cupped the side of my face in his hand, "I'll take care of it. When you fall asleep tonight, I'll go meet him at a pub or something. Don't worry. George will never know about this."

Stu kissed me again as we made our way to my bed. We made love for hours. All I could think about was George and unfortunately, what John would do with this information. In the late hours of the night, I drifted to sleep in Stu's arms, knowing that he would be long gone when I woke up.

 **April 10, 1962**

A knock at the front door pulled me out of a song I had been working on. Since being the girlfriend of George, I had begun to write songs again. Last night, George told me he loved me, and I finally felt okay to say it back. We were happy, I was finally happy. Unfortunately, George had called me this morning and told me that he needed to stay in bed because he had come down with something.

I opened the door to reveal Paul and Mr. Epstein, "Morning."

"Sasha," Paul said frantically, "Can we come in? We need to talk."

"Sure," I was confused as to why Mr. Epstein was with him, "We can talk in the living room."

I sat down on one couch, and Paul and Mr. Epstein sat on the one across from me. Paul looked that the papers scattered around the piano, and my guitar sitting next to it.

"George said you were writing songs again," Paul smiled.

I shrugged, "So, what can I do for you Mr. Epstein?"

He cleared his throat, "Please Sasha, call me Brian."

"Alright, Brian," it felt weird slipping off my tongue, "What's going on?"

Paul interjected, "Listen Sasha, George and I think it's quite dumb that you've given up on your dream of making music. We talked to Brian, and he wants to audition you. He wants to manage you?"

"Paul and George let me listen to some of your tapes," Brian explained, "Why didn't you tell me you were that talented?"

"I…" I was quite shocked at this turn of events, "When do I audition?"

"Tomorrow night," Brian said.

"In Hamburg," Paul finished.

"No," I was angry now, "I'm not going back to that disgusting town that ruined everything. Why the hell didn't you or George tell me you were going back there?"

Paul sighed, "Listen, Sasha, we wanted this to be a surprise. Brian, here, is really interested in you," Brian nodded.

I sighed again. There was no way in hell I was going back to Hamburg.

Paul started to try and convince me, "We're playing the Star Club. That's the nicest club in Hamburg. We're traveling there on a plane, and Brian's putting us up in a nice hotel."

"I don't know," I was still unsure.

Brian spoke now, "We'll be there for two months. I want to see how you perform and if audiences likes you. At the beginning of June, the Beatles are auditioning for George Martin from EMI Records. If I like you in Hamburg, that audition is yours as well."

I was in shock. An audition for a real life record company. I couldn't pass this up, even if it meant going to dreaded Hamburg, "When do we leave?"

Paul smiled and hugged me, "I'm so glad for you."

Brian spoke once more as he stood from the couch, "You leave tomorrow. You'll be flying with Paul, Pete, and John. George is flying with me the next day. We're giving him an extra day to get better. I guess I'll see you in Hamburg in a couple days," Brian shook my hand before leaving the house.

Paul smiled at me, and I smiled at him, "Well, I guess I better start packing."

Paul hugged me and kissed my cheek, "I'm so happy you agreed. I'll see you tomorrow at the airport."

Tomorrow came sooner than I expected it to. I was sitting in a seat at the gate waiting for the boys to arrive. I was nervous to be around John again.

"Hello Sasha," Pete said sitting down next to me, "Long time no see."

"Hi," I looked up at Paul, who was standing over me, "Hi Paul."

Paul smiled at me as John walked over. I hope Paul didn't act distant from me on account of his friendship with John. John didn't say hello or even look at me. I knew this was going to be a long trip.

We boarded the plane, and it was realized that my seat was next to John. Pete saw this and offered to switch seats with me, so I could sit next to Paul instead. The flight to Hamburg seemed quick, and soon, we were walking out of the gate.

I saw Astrid standing a little ways away. Stu wasn't with her, but I figured that he was probably in class.

We approached her, and I hugged her, "Astrid, it's so good to see you again."

"It's so nice to see you too," she said quietly, pulling away.

"Where's Stu?" John blurted out from beside me.

Astrid looked at all of us, but her eyes locked on John, "He's dead."


	30. Chapter 30: Yer Blues

**Something**

 **Chapter 30: Yer Blues**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **April 11, 1962**

"He's dead."

Astrid's voice rang over and over in my head, even though I was sure that she had said it only once. John burst out laughing beside me. I'm almost sure that he thought it was some cruel joke that Stuart had planned. I wanted to believe it too, but when Astrid's eyes filled with tears, I knew she was speaking the truth. I looked at John. I knew that Stu was his best friend. Hell, Stu was my best friend, but they had a brother-like sort of connection. I was feeling so hollow, and I couldn't imagine how John felt.

I saw a tear roll down his cheek before he brought Astrid into a tight embrace. He sobbed against her cheek.

She looked at me, tears rolling down her face, "I'm sorry," she mouthed to me.

I let my own tears flow. I wasn't sure why Astrid was saying sorry. I had been so excited to see her. I hadn't seen her or Klaus since I left on that horrible night in September two years ago. Now our meeting was tarnished. Paul wrapped his arm around me. I leaned my head into his shoulder and cried as I watched John hug Astrid closer.

We had all calmed down a bit to get our bags. Astrid insisted on driving me to the hotel. Paul, John, and Pete hailed a tax to take them to the hotel.

I was sat on the passenger side looking out at the rainy Hamburg. I really couldn't believe that I was here again. I still felt a tear slip down my cheek every few minutes. I had been so excited to see Stu in person again. I was hoping that he would make this trip a little more enjoyable.

"You okay?" Astrid asked quietly as she drove.

I sighed, "I'll be alright. I was just looking forward to seeing him. He would have made Hamburg easier, you know? The question is, are you alright? Stu loved you so much."

"And I loved him so. He was the best thing that had ever happened to me. We were going to marry next month at the courthouse. He wanted to move back to Liverpool and teach at the art school. He wanted children and a house," she explained to me.

It just made me sadder listen to Astrid describe the life that her and Stu were looking forward to. It reminded me of John and I, except for the fact that he's still alive and torturing me.

Astrid drew a long shaky breath, "Stuart cared about you a lot, Sasha. He told me that he once loved you. I believe that he still did, the way he spoke of you. His eyes would light up when he would receive a letter from you."

"I'm sorry," I suddenly felt guilty for the relationship that Stu and I had had in the last couple of years.

"Don't be. It was harmless. I knew that he was devoted to me. I also knew that you didn't feel quite same way toward him," Astrid reassured me.

The car grew silent for a while until I gained enough courage to ask, "Astrid, what happened? To Stuart?"

She sighed, "He was very ill. I suppose you know about the headaches. They only got worse, and they made him so ill. Some days he couldn't get out of bed. When he came back from his trip to Liverpool, they just seemed to get worse and worse. Yesterday morning he was having a good day, and he was painting. I went downstairs to help mother with the groceries, and I heard a thud from upstairs in his attic. I found him collapsed on the floor. My mother called the ambulance. He kept telling me he was sorry, and he loved me. He died on the way to the hospital."

I wiped my eyes, "I wish I could have seen him one last time."

"I have something for you. At the house," she said quickly, "He wrote you a letter and was going to post it today. We didn't know you were coming here."

I was quiet. I didn't know if I wanted to read the last letter that Stu had ever written. I didn't know if I was ready.

"I think he knew he was going to die."

I turned to Astrid, "Why do you say that?"

"The letter he wrote," she explained, "Says 'open when you're ready' on the front of it. I think he knew somehow that it would be his last letter to you. It became so difficult for him to write in his final weeks."

I took a deep breath again, "I want to see where he would paint. I want to see the attic."

Astrid grinned, "That's exactly what John said to me at the airport. After we pick up George from the airport tomorrow, we're heading to my house."

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the seat. I knew I shouldn't have come back to Hamburg. Nothing good ever happens here. That was proved long ago.

 **The next day**

I stood at the gate at the airport. I needed one of George's hugs desperately. I needed his lips on mine. I needed his sweet voice telling me that everything was going to be okay. Astrid was standing next to me. I had told her everything last night in my hotel room. I told her everything about John and George. I left out my encounters with Stu, however.

Then I saw him, walking toward me from the gate. Tears started to run down my cheeks. I missed him so much. He gathered me in his arms, and I breathed in his scent of slept-in cologne, peppermint, and cigarettes. That was the George smell, and I would never grow tired of it. He knew why I was sobbing in his arms. Paul told me that he had called George last night and broke the news to him about Stu.

He whispered in my ear, "I'm so sorry about Stu. He was a great mate. I love you."

"Oh George," I sobbed, "I wanted you here last night to hold me close. I needed you."

He kissed me softly.

Soon, we were following Astrid's car in a taxi to her house. Paul and John had ridden with her, and George and I got a taxi. My fingers were clasped around his tightly.

"Please George," I looked into his eyes, "Don't let go of my hand."

"I won't," he promised before sealing it with a kiss.

Surprisingly, I had never seen Astrid's actual house before. I took a deep breath, and entered the front door behind them. Astrid led us all up a couple flights of stairs before we reached an attic. I gripped George's hand tighter as I looked around through tear-filled eyes. Stu's paintings and paint supplies were scattered throughout the room. I could feel him. I could feel Stu all around me.

John was sobbing quietly as he looked at the paintings. Paul tried to bring him into a hug, but he pushed away. His eyes locked with mine. Tears were streaming down both of our faces. Paul and George couldn't understand the friendship that John and I had with Stuart. They would never understand. I broke my gaze with John to look into George's eyes.

"I love you," I whispered as I released his hand from mine.

I locked eyes with John once more. George placed his hand on my back to reassure me. He knew what I had to do. Some outside force was compelling me to do the unthinkable. Something I would have never done had Stu not died.

I pulled John into a tight hug. It was weird holding him again, but I knew that just in this moment, we needed each other. Our best friend had just died. Everyone watched as John fell apart in my arms, sobbing loudly and grabbing at me to try and pull me impossibly close. I rubbed his back like I did that last time I saw him this way, when Julia died. I think this time was worse. Part of me believed that just like me, he was crying for Stu and us.

I heard my voice whisper in his ear, "He wouldn't want us to be like this."

I wasn't sure what I meant by my statement. I just felt like saying it. I'm not sure if I meant the sobbing or the distance I felt from John even though our bodies couldn't get any closer.

After spending a few hours at Astrid's, I was ready to go back to the hotel and lie in with George. Our first show wasn't until tomorrow night, my birthday. I had almost forgotten that it was my birthday tomorrow. I was so emotionally drained. I didn't want to think about anything.

George called a taxi for us, and we went back to the hotel in silence. I hoped he wasn't mad for me holding John the way that I did. As soon as we were in our room, I fell onto the bed.

George fell beside me, "I love you."

I turned my head to kiss him, "I love you too."

He looked at his watch, "Five minutes until midnight. It's almost your birthday."

"With everything, I had almost forgotten that it was my birthday."

We laid beside each other for a few minutes until George looked at his watch again, "Happy Birthday," he kissed me.

"Thank you," I kissed him back.

Our kiss turned passionate quickly. I couldn't think. I just wanted George. I wasn't sure if I was ready to take this step in our relationship, but all I knew was that I needed him to love on me. I needed the love now more than ever. I started to unbutton his shirt as he hovered over me, planting kisses all over my jaw and neck.

"I need you George," I panted beneath him.

He stopped kissing me and looked into my eyes, "I need to be completely honest with you, Sasha."

"What?"

He hesitated, seeming a bit embarrassed, "This will be my first time."

"But I thought…Paul told me some story about them listening outside the door and cheering when you finished," I stuttered.

He sighed, "Well, we didn't go all the way. I told the girl that I was saving myself for a special girl. I wanked her, and she wanked me," he explained, "It was pretend to make the boys happy."

I giggled and kissed him, "You're so sweet, George. So you think I'm the special girl that gets all of you?"

He kissed me hungrily to show me his answer. In a matter of minutes, we were both completely bare and moaning as George made sweet, wonderful love to me.

When we were finished, he collapsed beside me, "Wow."

I smiled at him, "It wasn't disappointing then?"

"No way," George pecked my lips, "Round two?"

I smirked and climbed on top of him.

 **John's POV**

George and Sasha's headboard was slamming against the wall to mine and Paul's room. Her panting and moaning of George's name was making me angry. I didn't want to hear them together, not after everything that's happened the last couple of days. I grabbed the pillow and folded it around my head to block my ears from the erotic sounds coming from Sasha next door.

It was killing me that it wasn't me with her. The way she held me at Astrid's flat was still burned into my mind. Her arms felt like they were supposed to be around me. I was trying to pull her as close I could. I lost her in Hamburg, and it seemed that there was no chance of getting her back in Hamburg.

 **The next night**

Our first night at the Star Club was proving to be a success. I was happy. The band was finally so close to a record deal and fame. Whilst I played our set with the boys, I kept my eye on Sasha. She was sat with Klaus and Astrid at a table. I had been watching ever since she got off the stage from her set, which went incredibly well for someone who has performed in two years. She threw back another shot of something. It was hard to see exactly what she was drinking with my eyesight. She was gone. I don't think Sasha was with us anymore. This was the drunkest I had ever seen her.

I strained my eyes as the current number ended, and we started playing 'Red Hot' with Harrison on lead vocals. Sasha was stumbling to the bathroom when some bloke stepped in front of her. He seemed to be bothering her, so I kept an eye on them. She pushed him away, but he persisted. Before I knew it, he raised his hand and slapped Sasha across the face before grabbing her arm.

I swung my guitar from around myself, and jumped off the stage. I approached the man and threw the first punch. He tried to swing back but missed me as I ducked.

"Get your fucking hands off of her!" I screamed at him.

He threw Sasha to the ground. I leaned down beside her. I knew her drunkenness was making her fade fast after that fiasco. I picked her up and held her close to me.

"John," she said looking into my eyes.

"I'm taking you back to the hotel. You're safe," I explained to her.

She touched my face, "Thank you."

I looked at her beautiful blue eyes that mesmerized me every time I could steal a glance. I didn't notice that all eyes were on us in the club when I realized that I had never fallen out of love with Sasha. I still loved her.

Her hand was still on my cheek. I leaned down, and when my lips connected with hers, it thrust me back into the years when we were together, when we were happy. I loved her. I loved Sasha more than life itself.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I felt a pint glass shatter against my back. I turned around to see little George, fuming.


	31. Chapter 31: The Way I Loved You

**Something**

 **Chapter 31: The Way I Loved You**

 **George's POV**

 **April 13, 1962**

Everything happened so fast. One minute I was singing my heart out on the stage. Next thing I knew, John was jumping off of the stage to go pick a fight with some big German man. I watched as he picked up Sasha in his arms. They locked eyes, and my heart shattered as John's lips touched the lips of my girl.

I jumped off the stage and grabbed a pint glass from a random table. I chucked it at John, and it hit him in the back. His lips detached from Sasha's, and he glared at me. The whole club had been looking, but now, most everyone had gone back to their business because Paul and Pete had still kept some kind of beat going to distract them.

"Let go of her," I said through clenched teeth.

John still held her in his arms. Her neck had gone limp as she was about to pass out, "I can't put her down when she's like this George. She's pissed, and she'll just fall over."

"Well, give her to me John," I was angry about the kiss, and he was acting like nothing had happened.

"Listen, George. I'm sure you've never been with her when she's drunk. You really have to baby her. She'll probably start getting sick in a few hours," John explained.

I was starting to become livid with him, "I know how to take care of a drunk person."

"Sasha's different, George. You can't just lay her in the bed and be done with it," he replied.

"I'm her boyfriend, John," I told him angrily, "Why would I just leave her? That's something you would do. Something you have done. You left the poor girl on the toilet floor of the Kaiserkeller to die. Why do you care now?"

John eyes turned that deep shade that they did when he was really upset. My mouth had done it this time. John slowly walked Sasha to the table she had been sitting at with Klaus and Astrid. He laid her in Klaus's arms and told him something. I watched intently as he walked slowly back to me.

John was inches from my face, "Don't talk about it again. Do you understand?"

"No, I don't understand," I told him, "Do you know how much you messed her up? And you never apologized. You didn't even have the balls to say sorry for the awful way that you treated her. Stop acting like you care about her John because you don't."

"Don't tell me that I don't care about her. She was my life George, and I made some mistakes. I wanted to apologize, but I thought she didn't want me to. I thought that she didn't want to look at me ever again," John was practically yelling.

Just then, Paul spoke in the mic, "That's all. We've been the Beatles. Come and see our full show tomorrow night. Have a good rest of the night."

John continued yelling as soon as Paul stopped speaking, "I've had to live with my mistake every day for almost two years. I wake up to nightmares of it every night. They stopped when she held me the other day."

"You stay away from her," I warned, "I'm with her now, and I don't want you hurting her again."

A sharp pain bolted through my mid-section, and I hadn't realized that John had punched me until Paul was pulling him away, "That's enough, John. Let's go."

John and Paul left the club, and Pete followed behind them. I approached the table where Klaus was holding Sasha. She was passed out now. Klaus handed her to me, and I carried her down the street to the hotel. When I arrived in the room, I laid her on the bed. I poured a glass of water from the sink and set it next to her for when she wakes up. I lied down beside her and brought into my arms.

"I love you darling," I whispered as she snuggled closer to me.

I wondered what she was thinking about, and I hoped it wasn't John's kiss.

 **Sasha's POV**

My eyes shot open. I didn't know where I was or what time it was. I remember John. I remember his lips. I looked above me to see George sleeping peacefully. I wiggled free of his grip and walked to the living room area of the hotel suite. I couldn't remember exactly what happened, but I knew it involved John's lips. I rubbed my aching forehead with my hands. I switched on a lamp to illuminate the room, and glanced at the clock. It was half three in the morning.

My head turned sharply when I heard a long bang from the room next to mine and George's. I heard another bang and angry whispering before everything when deathly still and quiet. I stood and walked slowly to the door. I knew that it was John and Paul's room, but I wondered what was going on. I wish I could remember what exactly happened.

I turned the door knob and opened the door to reveal a trashed room. Paul was nowhere in sight. John was sitting in the corner with his head in his hands. I walked toward him and placed my hand on his shoulder. He looked up at me through tears with shining cheeks.

"John," I whispered.

He took my hand in his and rubbed his thumb across my knuckles, "Sit with me," he croaked.

I cleared a spot next to him and sat with my shoulder touching his. He still had my hand, stroking it slowly.

He looked into my eyes, and leaned closer to me. I knew this was so wrong. George and I had just made a huge step in our relationship, and I had finally moved on from John. His lips touched mine, and I was surprised when sparks didn't fly like they usually would have.

"Just like the first time," he whispered.

I shook my head, "It wasn't."

"Sorry?" His voiced was soaked with confusion.

"I didn't feel what I used to. It was just a kiss. I'm sorry John."

Tears streamed down his face as he closed his eyes tightly and pressed his head against the wall, "Do you love him?"

I placed my other hand on his, "I do love him. It's different from what we had. There will never be anything that can come close to the way I loved you, but that's over now. I finally was able to move on, with George."

"Will there ever be an 'us' again?"

I sighed, "I don't think so John. Not after what happened between us."

He let go of my hand and stood abruptly. He paced a couple of times before kicking the nightstand, "I'm such an idiot!"

I stood and walked to him. He walked away from me, "I ruined everything with my anger," I was shocked when he began full on sobbing, "I think I killed Stu."

He sat on the bed. I sat down next to him, and brought him into my arms, "You didn't kill Stu."

"You don't know," he said looking at me, "You don't know what I did to him the last night he was in Liverpool."

I thought back to the last night Stu was in Liverpool in January. We had slept together, but John had seen us through the window. My eyes grew wide, "What happened?"

John stood from the bed and raised his voice, "Why were you letting him fuck you?"

I didn't say anything. I just looked at the floor.

"I was so angry. I couldn't believe that he would betray me like that. He knew that I cared about you. He knew I still loved you, and he was shagging you behind my back. For a bloody year, Sasha!"

I stood up to yell at him, "What did you do to him John?"

"I kicked his fucking head in. With my boots. I killed him. I know that's why he died," John was sobbing again.

I brought him into my arms and tried to comfort him.

He wasn't calming down, "I couldn't stand the thought of him loving on you like I used to. I love you so much Sasha. He wanted me to tell you, but I thought that you hated me and never wanted to see me again. I fell in love with you on that first day that I met you, and I swear that I will never fall out of love with you until the day I die. Everyone always left me, and you weren't supposed to, but you did leave me. You left me like everyone else always does."

I didn't want John to make me feel guilty for his past actions, and I had yet to hear an apology slip past his lips. I let go of him, "I didn't leave because I wanted to. You gave me a reason to leave."

I walked out of the door to his room, making sure to slam it behind me. Paul was sitting on the sofa now. He had obviously heard the whole thing. I sat down next to him and buried my face in my hands. My body shook with the sobs that hadn't haunted me in a year. Paul rubbed my back slowly as I cried until the sun came up.


	32. Chapter 32: Speak Now

**Something**

 **Chapter 32: Speak Now**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **June 6, 1962**

"You take a deep breath as you walk through the doors," I sang and strummed the last chord of the song.

I was sitting in Abbey Road Studios in London auditioning for a record deal in front of a man named George Martin. The boys had already recorded their audition songs this morning, and I felt confident that they would get a recording contract from this guy. Brian held true to his promise. The run at the Star Club in Hamburg had gone well for me. After the disaster that was the first night, I fell into some sort of a routine again. John and I hadn't spoken to each other since that night. I don't think we've even so much as glanced at each other. It was alright with me, of course. The less drama the better. Besides, I was so in love with George. Everything about our relationship felt so grown up and serious. He was so good to me. If there was ever a time to use the word perfect, it would be to describe our relationship.

"Well, Miss McCartney," Mr. Martin buzzed in so I could hear him down in the studio, "I am certainly impressed with you songwriting, and your voice, of course. Great job! I'll be in contact with all of you soon to give you the details of the recording deal. Welcome to Parlaphone Records."

"Thank you so much Mr. Martin," I felt tears coming to my eyes.

I was in shock. I had just been accepted to a record company. I had been working at this for so long, and all the hard work finally paid off. My dream of being a musician was coming true. I couldn't wait for all of the things in store for me.

George and Paul were waiting for me when I finished packing up my guitar. Brian, John, and Pete had already loaded up in the van.

George brought me into a hug, "We're so proud of you darling. I love you."

"I love you too, George," I started tearing up again, "All this hard work has paid off for all of us. My dream's finally coming true."

George pulled away from me and wiped his thumbs across my cheeks, "Don't cry."

"They're happy tears," I sniffled, "It's just…so much has happened, and I didn't think that I would ever get here."

George smiled at me and held me tight again. He brought his lips to my forehead and rubbed my back to calm me down a bit.

"It kind of sucks too though," I heard Paul say.

"Why?" I looked at him.

"Well, Mr. Martin and Brian pulled John and I aside and told us that Pete isn't working well for us. Mr. Martin wants to bring him some guy of his own if we can't find a drummer that will fit in," Paul explained.

I thought for a few moments until an old friend popped into my head, "I know a great drummer that would make a perfect addition to the Beatles."

 **August 19, 1962**

"Are you sure I look alright?" Maureen asked me as she played with her hair once more.

"You look great," I reassured her, "Stop touching your hair, Mo."

She sighed and bit her lip nervously, "I hope he likes me. I'm meeting him after the show?"

"He will like you. You'll be so cute together if everything works out. Remember, this is his first show with the Beatles at the Cavern, so I imagine he'll be a little nervous as well, but I told him that I wanted to introduce him to a friend mine, so he's expecting to meet someone," I explained to her.

We walked onto to Lime Street. Just a few days ago, Brian had fired Pete from the Beatles. I hated it for Pete because he was a nice guy, but Mr. Martin just didn't think he fit in with the other boys. When I suggested Ringo, they argued with me at first, saying that he was already in a band and wouldn't join theirs. I turned out to right, and Ringo played his first show with us last night.

Tonight was one of those rare nights when I wasn't opening for the boys. Instead, I had decided to bring along Maureen and finally introduce her to Ringo. We walked down Matthew Street and stopped at the entrance of the Cavern.

"Evening, Mal," I had become friendly with the bouncers since I came here so much to play.

"Evening, Sasha, go on in," he told me, letting us pass.

Maureen followed me down the stairs and into the dark club. The boys were about to come on any minute. When they were finally announced, Maureen started jumping up and down.

"AH," she screamed, "He looks so good with that haircut, and he's clean-shaven now. Oh, look how cute he is."

I laughed and smiled in response. I hoped Ringo liked her.

"Well, Ringo's just my stage name. My name's Richard," he introduced himself to Maureen. I think he liked her, the way he was being smooth and flirty.

"Is it alright if I call you Ritchie?" She asked him, batting her eyelashes.

Ringo gave her a large smile, "Of course, sugar."

George had is arm around my waist. I looked up and smiled at him. I was so glad and Maureen had hit it off with Ringo. I knew they were going to make a wonderful couple.

 **August 23, 1962**

"He's what?" I asked Paul as I paced in front of him.

"Cynthia's pregnant. He has to marry her of she'll get disowned or something crazy. I'm still not sure if I like her," Paul told me.

He had come running to my house to tell me the news. John was getting married to Cynthia as we spoke, and I wasn't sure why it was affecting me like this. I didn't think it would bother me this much, considering that John and I hadn't spoken to each other since April. He had told me he was still in love with me. Maybe that's what was throwing me off. How can you get married if you still love someone else?

I sat down next to Paul and sighed.

"Are you okay, Sasha?"

I bit my lip to try and keep from getting upset, "I don't know. I didn't think it would hurt me this much to hear that he's marrying someone else. I don't love him anymore, but that was supposed to be us, you know?"

Paul wrapped his arm me, "It's okay to be upset about it. You were going to take that step with John, not someone else. I just know that the main reason he's marrying her is because she's pregnant. Hell, John doesn't want to get married to her."

"How do you know?" I asked him

"Because," Paul sighed, "Last night he told me that he'll never love anyone or anything as much as he loved you."


	33. Chapter 33: There's A Place

**Author's Note: Thank you so much for reading! I really really appreciate comments, so tell me what you think. Here's a little drama for you.  
**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 33: There's A Place**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **December 29, 1963**

We were backstage at the Astoria Cinema in London after the end of one of the Beatles' Christmas Shows. I also performed for the shows, so I was getting my guitar and show things packed up with George close behind me. The rest of the boys were in the room as well packing up and getting ready to head to our homes in London.

A lot had happened in the last year and half. We were beginning to get very famous, just like I had dreamed of for all these years. My songs were doing well on the country and pop charts in the UK and the US. The boys had just released a US single a few days ago, and we were still waiting on the news of how it was doing in sales and on the charts. At first, Brian had me touring with different acts as I recorded my first album, but I was unhappy without the Beatles, and they missed me as well. At the beginning of this year, Brian finally came to his senses and marketed me with the Beatles as their official opening act, which is how it should've been since the beginning of our record deal. This year we had all moved down to London for work. John bought a house with Cynthia and their son, Julian, who I have yet to see. John doesn't talk about it as much as you would expect a new parent to. George and I were still living in the flat that we all originally lived in when we moved to London while we looked for a house that we liked. Ringo lived with us. I was particularly fond of this arrangement because Maureen would come to visit all of the time. Maureen and Ringo had hit it off, and they've been official since the end of last year.

The radio in the corner was playing quiet music to make the room not completely silent as we packed up tiredly from tonight's show. It seems like we had been on an endless tour the entire year with no signs of stopping any time soon. I looked around the room to see the boys mostly packed and just waiting for Brian to come in and give us our post-show notes. John had on his Buddy Holly glasses and had his Gibson acoustic guitar in his lap, sitting as far away from me as possible. John and I had been avoiding each other the best we could, considering that we were on tour together. I hadn't said two words to him, nor him to me, since our outburst that second night in Hamburg a year and half ago. I had honestly never heard silence quite this loud.

I noticed that George was done packing and had taken a seat on the couch next to the radio. Ringo and Paul were also squeezed onto the sofa. I walked over and sat down on George's lap. I thought I saw John roll his eyes out of the corner of my eyes. George placed his hand on the small of my back and began rubbing back and forth. George and I were pretty serious. Our relationship had grown slowly, just like I wanted it too. I could honestly see myself marrying George someday once all of this slows down, and we get a chance to catch our breath. The public audience didn't know about us, however. Brian was making sure that all of the Beatles appeared single in public to entice the young girls even more. No one even knew that John was married. We were all sworn to secrecy about our relationships. I heard my name come from the radio announcer, so I leaned over to adjust the volume.

"Sasha McCartney's new song 'Our Song' has topped U.S. country charts and the regular charts here in Britain along with the Fab Four from Liverpool, The Beatles. Americans are wondering when these acts will go overseas and perform," the announcer said on the radio.

I smiled largely. It was still surreal to hear them talk about me on the radio. I glanced over at John accidentally and caught him staring at me. Unfortunately, these awkward glances were all we had between each other. He looked down and strummed his guitar to pretend that he wasn't staring at me moments ago.

George kissed me on the cheek, "Well, it's time for us to head home. I'm knackered."

"Me also," Ringo said yawning, "We have to wait for Brian though.

As if on cue, Brian walked in the room as the boys were getting up to leave, "I have an announcement."

We all gave our undivided attention to Brian's announcement, "I have been informed that all of you have just topped the charts in America. I want us to go to America soon. Ed Sullivan called me and said that he would like to all of you on the show in February."

The room suddenly got louder with cheers of excitement. I stood there in shock, "Ed Sullivan? The Ed Sullivan?"

Brian smiled, "Yes, and you're going to be on his show!"

I couldn't help but to scream and start jumping up and down with Paul and Ringo. All of us chatted away excitedly about our opportunity to go to America. Paul and Ringo started to bid everyone goodnight when the excitement had died down a little.

"Sasha, you ready to go?" George asked me, wrapping his arm around me.

"Actually," Brian interjected, "I need to have a word with John and Sasha."

My excitement faded to nervousness. Why on Earth would Brian want to talk to me and John alone? I nodded slowly.

"Don't worry, George," Brian assured him, "I'll bring Sasha home after our chat. You go ahead. We do live in the same flat building after all."

"Alright," George kissed me softly and whispered in my ear, "See you soon, then. I love you. Remember, everything will be okay. I'll be waiting up if you want to talk."

"Love you too," I replied as I watched George grab his guitar case and leave the room.

Now, I was alone with John and Brian. John looked as confused as I was.

"Take a seat on the sofa," Brian told us, pulling up a chair.

John sighed as he plopped down on the sofa, as far away from me as he could get without falling off the edge, "What's this about Brian? I've got to get home."

Brian shot him a look, "I need you two to cooperate with me."

I didn't like the sound of this so far.

Brian cleared his throat, "Listen, it's out there in plain sight for everyone to see that you two don't care for each other. I wanted to know why, so I talked to Paul last week."

I couldn't believe my brother would share my haunted past with Brian, "What did he say?"

"He told about how you two were in a long, serious relationship. He wouldn't tell me why it ended, but he said it was messy."

"So, what does this have to do with anything, Eppy?" I could hear the anger in John's voice. I could tell that he really didn't want to talk about this.

Brian grinned at me, "Listen, I've been told by Mr. Taylor, our publicist, that the American audience is a lot different than the British one. Unlike the British, the Americans want to know every aspect of a celebrity's life. If you two go over to America in February, acting the way you do, we'll never hear the end of it. You have to get along. You're going to have to put on a show in public. As far as the American public's concerned, you're best friends. Please do this for me. Will you?"

John and I nodded. I could almost read his mind. He hated the way things were. He hated that we use to be so close, and now we were being trained to get along.

"Thank you," Brian exhaled, "I'll take the both of you home. Take a few minutes to talk things out between you two. I'll be waiting in the car for you. Take your time."

I watched as Brian left the room. The door closed loudly leaving me alone with John in this deafening silence. It was all too much to handle.

John turned his head to look at me through those Buddy Holly glasses. I looked at him. I loved when he wore those glasses. I always told him, but he never believed me.

"So," he said.

I gave a small chuckle. This was too awkward to be true.

John slid a bit closer to me, but not too close, "What? Why are you laughing?"

"It's just…we haven't spoken in a year and half, and now people are expecting us to be best friends. And the first word you said to me was 'so'."

John grinned, "I missed your voice, you know? I think this will be a good thing, us being forced to be friends. Maybe we need to be friends. It might help us move on better."

I stood from the sofa, "I've already moved on, John. I moved on a long time ago."

"Sasha, I…"

"Don't," I interrupted him, "Don't tell me you have feelings for me. Not after everything that's happened. We're over. You need to understand that things can never be the same between us."

I turned to start closing my guitar case when I felt John arms wrap around me. I couldn't deny that I missed the way his body would feel against mine when he would hold me. I didn't want to pull away.

I turned around in his arms to face him, "We can't do this. You can't do this to me. I just want you to remember that when I left Hamburg, you didn't come after me. You didn't try to get me back."

"I didn't know you wanted me too," he whispered.

I knew he was right. I can't imagine the hell he was going though. I can't imagine how guilty he must've felt. He thought I hated him, and I did, at first. The first few weeks of hatred went by, and then I was just sad. I wanted him to hold me again despite everything that had happened. In the back of my mind, I knew that it was stupid to think about forgiving him for what he had done to me. In those days, however, my heart was screaming his name. Had he shown up at my door, I would've fallen into his arms without a word spoken between us. That's how much I used to love him, but that was three years ago.

He looked into my eyes, still holding me tightly, "So, you and Harrison? I still don't understand what you see in him. You're a bit out of his league, love."

I was getting angry now, "I love George. He knows how to treat me right. It's nice having someone call you beautiful every day. He respects that a relationship involves work from both parties, not just the man telling the woman what she can and can't do."

John let go of me suddenly, "Was I really that unpleasant? I think the past has gotten a little twisted in your mind. Our love was something that I can never get back," John started pacing back and forth in front of me, his arms flailing with his angry words, "Do you realize that George is three years younger than you? He has no idea what he's doing. He doesn't know what a serious love is. He doesn't know what it's like to love someone so much that you would give up everything just be with that person."

"Does his age matter? I love him! And why is my personal life any of your business? You had your chance with me, and you messed it up! So don't complain or be jealous with the fact that I'm perfectly happy with someone besides you," I shouted back at him, "And don't talk about him not knowing how to love. You sure had a funny way of showing your love for me in Hamburg."

He stopped pacing and turned to face me. His voice was calmer now, "You think I wanted things to turn out the way they did. I was out of control in Hamburg, and when I look back, I realize that," he raised his voice again, "Hell, most of the time I was drunk, so I don't remember half the bloody trip!"

"You're married, and you have a son now. So, why do you still care about MY personal life?" I had to end this argument. I was tired, and I just wanted to go home.

Abruptly, John's lips were on mine. I wasn't expecting it at first, so I couldn't relax. As his tongue parted my lips, I wrapped my arms around him. In Hamburg last year, the last time he kissed me, I hadn't felt a thing. I'm not sure if it was my exhaustion or our argument, but I felt something this time around. Everything came flooding back to me. It wasn't the spark flying kisses that we would share when we were together, but it was definitely something. When he backed away, he rested his head on my forehead and opened his eyes to meet mine. Our panting breaths were hitting each other's faces as we gazed into each other's eyes. Those green specs in his hazel eyes came out strongly as he stared into my blue ones.

"Because, I never fell out of love with you," he whispered, putting a finger underneath my chin and kissing me again.

Our lips meshed together with force, and never did I think twice about what we were doing. I just wanted his lips on my mine. I couldn't think of anything or anyone else in this moment.

In the midst of our kiss, we had found our way back to the couch. I lied down as John hovered over me. One of his arms was wrapped around my waist, and his lips were still attached to mine. His other hand found my leg. I felt as he traced his fingers from my calf all the way to my inner thigh. I had my arms wrapped tightly around John's neck, lost in the bliss and romance of the heated encounter. John's hand found its way up the inside of my dress. I felt his calloused fingers in a place that they hadn't been in over two years.

"John," I heard my voice moan as his fingers made me feel a passion deep in my core that I hadn't felt in years.

My eyes shot openly suddenly, and I couldn't believe where I was. I couldn't believe I was letting John do this to me. I gasped and pushed him off of me. I quickly rose from the couch and began pacing. What will George do if he finds out? Why was that ten times better than what George does to get me going? I shook my head to make that particular question leave me alone.

John approached me. At first, I tried to push him away, but he knew that I needed to be held. His arms wrapped around me, and I buried my face in his chest. I cried, for the first time in over a year. He rubbed my back softly, knowing that that was the way to calm me down.

I looked up at him with tear filled eyes, "I can't believe I let it go that far. How I am going to look George in the face tonight?"

"It didn't get that far, so relax," John said.

"Easy for you to say," I wiggled free from his arms, "You cheat on people all the time, but I've never cheated on anyone. I know about all of the groupies you would bring to your room on tour. I don't know if it's to make me jealous or… It's not fair to your wife. Why would you cheat on her? How can she not know?

"I cheat on her because I don't love her as much as I should love someone I'm married to," John walked to me again.

"You cheated on me. Does that mean you didn't love me?"

"I cheated on you only in Hamburg when I was drunk and lost, but with Cynthia I know I'm cheating on her, and I don't care. But I didn't have a clue as to what I was doing in Hamburg. Think about it, did I ever cheat on you back in Liverpool?"

I looked down as John brought me into his arms once more. I knew that it would be hard to get over this encounter.

John pulled away, "Let's be friends, okay? For Brian."

I nodded and hugged him again. I didn't know when the next time I would get to hold him would be. Why was I acting this way? I loved George with all my heart. In fact, I thought things were pretty serious. In an instant, John comes along again and gets in my head. I wouldn't forget tonight. I couldn't forget the way he made me feel with the kissing and touching. I had to forget. I was with George now. I can't go back to John, not after everything. Besides, he can't have me anyway. He's got a wife and baby now. It was best that I didn't give him any false hope. We were just friends.

"Come on. Eppy's waiting for us," John said, leading me out of the room.


	34. Chapter 34: I'm Happy Just to Dance With

**Something**

 **Chapter 34: I'm Happy Just to Dance With You**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **February 7, 1964**

Today was the day. We were boarding a plane at Heathrow to be whisked away to the so called "British Invasion". The American public was waiting for us on the other side of the Atlantic. I was especially excited for this trip. This was a great homecoming for me. My songs have been doing so well in the country and pop charts in the US. I hadn't been back to the states since I visited my mom after the Hamburg disaster. She wasn't going to be able to see me during this trip because we were going to be so busy, but our US tour in the fall would be the right time to reunite with mother. She assured me last night over the phone that she would be tuned in to the Ed Sullivan show in a couple of nights to see me make my American television debut. Brian had set it up so I could be on the first half of the show, and the boys could close out the show. I could hardly handle the excitement and nervousness.

George was sat next to me on the eight hour plane journey to New York. I had my head resting on his shoulder. He was reading the in-flight magazine.

"Sasha, did you know I could buy cologne on the plane?" He asked as he read over a cologne advertisement.

I chuckled. This was my first overseas flight with George. He had visited his sister in Illinois back in September, but I was too busy with my next album to join him and his two brothers. I thought back to the flight to New York when I took John to meet my mom. We were so in love back then. I thought that nothing was ever going to get in between us. Who would have thought that five years later I would be sitting next to George of all people, and he would be sitting next to his wife, who wasn't me. It's not at all how I expected my life turn out when I thought about the future back then. John and I had continued to be friends since Brian forced us to. I was actually starting to get comfortable around him again. Maybe it was a good thing for us to be friends.

The captain's beep sounded, "Ladies and gentlemen, if you could put your seats in the upright positions and lock the tray tables in front of you, we will be beginning our descent to New York City shortly. Thank you for flying Pan American."

I sat up and looked out the window. I didn't realize how much I missed America until I saw the vast New York City skyline staring back at me. I was home.

That night, in the hotel, I sat on the couch in between Paul and George. Ringo sat in the chair next to Paul, and John was in and out of the room with Cynthia. Maureen had come to America with us, but she was already in bed from jet lag. The boys and I were trying to stay awake, so we could get used to the five hour time difference faster. Two men were filming the boys for a documentary they were producing. Brian was in and out of the room with the publicists and radio announcers. They had rented out a whole floor for us at the Plaza Hotel, but not surprisingly, we had all ended up in the same room.

"I'm tired because I've been up for days," George said to the camera that was filming part of a documentary.

Ringo began to say that we would all go out later.

"I really don't feel like going out," George said to me.

I rubbed his back, "Are you alright?"

"I'm kind of feeling under the weather right now," George said standing up and walking into the bedroom that we shared.

"What's wrong with Harrison?" John asked when he had left the room. I noticed that Cynthia wasn't with him. Maybe she had gone to bed.

"He said he wasn't feeling well," I explained.

Paul looked at me in shock, "He can't feel bad. We have a photo shoot, Ed Sullivan, and I think we're doing something with some radio host or something tomorrow."

"Well, maybe he just needs sleep. He hasn't slept in two days," Ringo explained.

I sighed, "Well, I'm gonna go check and see if he needs anything. I'll be right back."

I walked into the bedroom and shut the door behind me. George was lying in bed in the dim light of the lamp with his hands on his forehead.

"George, are you okay?"

"No, me head and throat are killing me," he told me quietly.

"Hang on, I'll get some aspirin and water," I said leaving the room.

"Hey, she's back," Paul said smiling as I walked back into the living room area.

"I'm just getting George some medicine and water."

"Is he sick?" John and Paul asked in unison.

I giggled, "His head and throat hurt."

"His throat! He has to sing back up," Paul said freaking out.

"Paul, relax. He'll probably be better by morning," I told him, "Be right back."

After I nursed George for a few moments, I decided to go back to the main room to try and stay up a bit longer. Brian had gone to bed, and all that was left was Paul, John, Ringo, and the brothers that were filming the documentary.

I noticed that John had sat down where George had been sitting earlier, and he had his guitar with him. He had his sunglasses on for some reason. It reminded me of Stuart. I wish he could be here with us.

"Sasha," John said my name, "Why don't you join us for some music?"

I sat in between him and Paul, "What song are you thinking?"

"How about one of yours?" He smiled at me.

I nodded and John began playing the chords to a song we had written together when we were teenagers. After that song was finished, he played more of the old ones that we had written that didn't make it on to any albums. Two hours had passed, and Ringo had gone to bed. The filming brothers had gone to their room as well. It was just me, John, and Paul, just like old times.

"I can't believe I remembered the words to all of those," I giggled as we finished another song.

John set down his guitar in the chair next to the couch. He had replaced his sunglasses with his regular glasses instead. My opinion still stood about his Buddy Holly glasses. I loved them on him.

John leaned back resting his arm on the back of the couch, "Those were days. Do you still have those tapes we recorded at me and Stu's place?"

"I do somewhere," I lied. Truth was, I knew exactly where the tapes were. They were in one of the boxes labeled 'John' in the attic of my dad's house in Liverpool.

John started telling a funny story from our days in Stu's flat. That was probably the first time John was making me laugh in over four years.

Paul yawned loudly over our laughing, "I think it's time for bed. We have to be up early tomorrow."

I sighed, "I think Paul's right. Goodnight John."

I stood up next to Paul and followed him out of the room.

"Sasha," John's voice made me stop in my tracks and turn to face him, "Goodnight."

I smiled at him before I left the room.

When I was almost to my door, Paul yawned again, "Goodnight sis. John still loves you, you know."

"Paul," I warned. I didn't want to get into this.

He smirked, "I just wanted to know if you noticed the way he's been looking at you all night. He still loves you."

I rolled my eyes and walked into my room. Paul didn't think that I didn't know that already.

 **February 9, 1964**

Ed Sullivan had been a blast. After the show, we were all invited to the Peppermint Lounge. Ringo and Maureen were dancing up a storm on the dance floor. Paul was throwing back drinks and flirting with ladies, even though he had a girlfriend, who also happened to be one of my best friends. John and Cynthia were chatting as he threw back a lot of drinks. George was slouched next to me. He was very ill, and I could tell that he didn't feel like being here. He had managed to do great on the show tonight because of all the meds the doctor had given him beforehand. He had a nasty case of the flu and strep throat. Brian had made it clear that there would be absolutely no kissing each other. He didn't want me to get sick as well.

"George," he looked at me, "If you want to go back to the hotel. I can call you a cab."

"Actually," Cynthia spoke up from across the table, "I'm heading in for the night. I can go back with him."

"Okay," I said, "Is that okay George?"

He nodded and stood from the table after giving me a kiss on the cheek and bidding me goodnight and an "I love you". I watched as he left the club with Cynthia. I hadn't really met her until this trip. She seemed nice, but for some reason I had no intention of becoming her friend. I wonder if she knew about me and John. I drank the last bit of the martini I was working on.

"Can I get you another drink?" John yelled from across the table.

I knew he was getting close to being drunk, but I was allowed to have a little fun, wasn't I?

"Sure," I said.

Moments later, he brought a few shots of something back to the table. We took turns taking shots and laughing at stories and John's humor.

"Wanna dance?" John slurred.

"What about your wife?" I giggled.

John dramatically rolled his eyes, "She doesn't like to dance."

He stood from the table and took my hand. When we got on the dance floor, we began dancing close to each other. It reminded me of those crazy nights in Liverpool when we would go out dancing and drinking. We would stumble home in the early morning hours and make love until the sun came up.

John grabbed my waist to pull me closer, forcing me out of my memories.

"Naughty," I heard a Liverpool accent behind me. It was Maureen, "You're dancing with John?"

I laughed, "I'm just having a little fun."

"Don't have too much fun," She winked at me before Ringo pulled her away for another dance to a new song.

I knew that dancing drunk with John was bad idea. I didn't want it to end, but I knew I had to cut it short before something scandalous happened.

"John," I yelled over the music, "I think we should go back to the hotel now."

"You read my mind."

I cringed at his naughty smirk.

Back at the hotel, John stumbled behind me on the way to our floor. We climbed into the elevator. When the doors closed, he pressed me against the wall.

His lips connected with my neck, "You look so beautiful tonight, mama."

I shuddered as his old nickname for me slipped from his lips. I gently pushed him off of me, and walked to my room when elevator doors opened. As I fell asleep next to George, I couldn't get John's voice and touch out of my mind.


	35. Chapter 35: This Boy

**Something**

 **Chapter 35: This Boy**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **February 16, 1964**

After a hectic day of packing, we were finally on the plane going to Miami. In the last several days, we finished up our business in New York, went to Washington, DC, and then back to New York. We were all terribly tired and almost everyone was sleeping on the plane except me. I couldn't sleep, unlike George who snored next to me; I had too much on my mind. I was so excited and still wound up from playing concerts for screaming fans. I was becoming everything I had always wanted to be.

When the plane landed in Miami, we headed off the plane to the place where you grab your luggage. This part of the airport was almost empty because the guards had blocked it off so we could gather our belongings in peace.

I saw Paul dart off in the corner of eye and heard John say, "Hey, where's Macca going?"

I looked at Paul running off and saw him caress a red headed girl.

"Jane's here," I said excitedly.

I ran toward them and joined in their hug. Jane Asher was Paul's girlfriend, and she was like a sister to me. We had become so close since they started dating last year. Her and Maureen had also hit it off. We would tell each other everything. Jane and Maureen would report back to me when they would have to endure a dinner with John and Cynthia. There were some things that I hadn't told Jane, however. I hadn't told her about the extent of my relationship with John in the past. I had told Maureen a year and half after I met her. I had to make sure I could trust the person completely before telling that story from my past.

"Sasha! I missed you," she said ignoring Paul and talking to me.

"I missed you too, Jane. We've been so busy, and Maureen and I have barely had time to talk. Now, hopefully, we can relax a bit here," I said.

"I hope so too. We'll have to have a pow wow in the hotel room," she suggested.

"Not without me, you won't," we turned around and saw Maureen walking from the group over to us.

"Mo!" Jane screamed and hugged her.

"Excuse me, but have you forgotten me," we all stopped jumping around excitedly and turned see Paul awkwardly standing beside us.

"Oh, Paulie, you know we haven't forgotten you," Jane said wrapping her arms around his waist.

When got to the hotel, we had to work out new sleeping arrangements. Our suite at this hotel had two bedrooms, so Maureen and Ringo shared a room with John and Cynthia. That left Jane and Paul with me and George. We didn't have much time to catch up with each other because we had to get down to hotel ballroom to do a rehearsal for Ed Sullivan. Just the boys were performing this time, so I took a seat in between Jane and Mo in the front row.

The boys did the first few songs in their set then got to a song they hadn't preformed in America yet. John, George, and Paul gathered around one mic and started singing.

 _That boy took my love away  
Oh, he'll regret it someday  
But this boy wants you back again_

 _That boy isn't good for you_  
 _Though he may want you to_  
 _This boy wants you back again_

Every time John would say 'that boy', he would glare at George; and when he wasn't glaring at George, he was glaring at me.

 _Oh, and this boy would be happy  
Just to love you, but oh, my, oh  
That boy won't be happy  
till he's seen you cry _

Jane leaned over to me, "What's he doing?"

Mo then leaned over, "Are you seeing this? He looks pissed."

 _This boy wouldn't mind the pain  
Would always feel the same  
If this boy gets you back again_

 _This boy, this boy..._

When the song was over, I was in shock. John just basically sang a song that said that George took me away from him and that he wants me back. The message was clear and it was made more obvious with his angry glaring. The trip had been going so well. John and I were actually becoming friendly and comfortable around each other, and now, he's doing this.

Jane and I looked at each other and shrugged. I knew her and Mo would ask me about it later in the hotel room.

When we went back up to our rooms, Jane and Mo suggested that we three stay in the living room. Everyone else headed to bed while we set snacks and drinks on the coffee table and turned on the radio softly. We sat on the couches with our pajamas on, eating and talking.

"So, what the hell was that with John tonight?" Jane asked. I knew someone was going to bring it up eventually.

My voice got a little quieter, "You and Mo do know that we dated, right?"

"Yeah, you told me a couple years ago," Mo said a bit louder.

"You dated?!" Jane said louder than I think she meant to.

"Sssh! Yeah, we dated. When I moved to Liverpool, when I was sixteen, I went to Paul's house, and John and the rest of the Quarrymen were there. John and I clicked and started dating. When we went to Hamburg three years later, he got out of control. He was drunk almost all the time and took girls backstage to the bathroom at the club we played at," I paused. This was harder to talk about again than I expected, "He started hitting me, and one night, I thought he was going to kill me. An old friend of ours, called Stu, found me in the bathroom floor and took me back to Liverpool and away from John. He has never apologized for the way things ended. I mean, we were engaged to be married the next year," I explained to them.

Jane had tears in her eyes, "I'm sorry that happened to you. I can't believe that you and John were so involved and serious," Jane sighed, "but what's that got to do with George? He was glaring at him too. I mean, I know you guys are dating and all, but you and John broke up years ago."

"Well, John still loves me, and he is just jealous that I'm with George. That's what the song was saying, that he still loved me and wanted me back, and that George stole me from him."

"But George didn't steal you from John," Jane said.

"I know."

Mo still looked shocked, "How do you know that John still loves you?"

"Do you see the way John always looks at Sasha," Jane pointed out.

"That, and," I took a deep breath, "What I'm about to tell you is something I've haven't told anyone. So, you have to promise that you won't tell a soul," they nodded, and I continued, "A couple months ago we had been at backstage at one of the Christmas shows. Everyone left, but Brian wanted to speak to me and John. Brian told us that we had to act like friends in public so the fans and journalists wouldn't think there was anything out of the ordinary. Brian left us alone to discuss it, and the argument got heated. I started yelling at him, and at some point, we started kissing and ended up on the couch. When we were kissing on the couch I let in him touch me," I tried to find the right word, "privately."

"You let him finger you?!" Mo shouted in shock.

Both Jane and I shushed her.

"Yes," I continued, "But only for a second, until I realized what I was doing. I pushed him off of me and told him that this was a mistake. I started crying and then he just came out and told he loved me. He held me for a while before we went to get in Brian's car."

"Oh My Beatle," Jane said slowly.

Mo and I looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Jane looked at us, "What?"

"Oh my Beatle," Mo said in between laughs.

"Will you ladies mind being a little quieter?"

We all turned to find John walking to the kitchen. Jane and I exchanged glances.

"What are you doing up?" Mo asked him.

John walked over and sat down in between me and Jane on the couch with a beer that he had just grabbed out of the fridge, "Well, I went to the club down the street and when I came back, I went to the toilet, and I heard you girls in here laughing."

"Yeah, Jane said something really funny," Mo explained.

"Yeah, what?" John asked looking at me.

"We were talking and a shocking part in our conversation came up. Jane reacted by saying, 'Oh my Beatle,'" I explained.

John giggled, "Funny. Of course, you girls were in here cutting people up."

"Excuse me?" Jane said, speaking for us.

"Gossiping," John said, "I'm not stupid. I know what happens when girls get together."

"Well, we were just going to head to bed. Right, ladies?" Mo said saving us from sitting there another minute with John. It was kind of awkward, considering that we had just been talking about him and me.

"Yeah, goodnight Mo," I said standing up.

Jane stood up as well, "Yeah, goodnight Mo. John."

Mo walked to her room, and Jane and I walked to our room.

"Sasha," I turned around see John standing up now, "Goodnight."

He needed to stop saying goodnight to me like that.

"Night, John," I said.

I turned back around and followed Jane in the bedroom. George and Paul were snoring away in separate beds. The beds were separated by a nightstand, and Jane and I ended up facing each other across the beds.

I closed my eyes to go to sleep.

"Sasha," I heard Jane whisper causing my eyelids to shoot open, "John is defiantly still madly in love with you."

"Shut up," I whispered back.

I didn't want it to be true. Why did my life suddenly have to become so complicated? But sadly, I had a feeling that this was just the beginning.

 **February 26, 1964**

I was sitting in the passenger seat of George's car, waiting for him to come out of our new house in Esher to head to the movie studios in London. Ever since we had been back from the States, the boys had been filming their first film. I watched as George closed the front door and lock it before walking to the car. I watched him walk and smiled, thinking about last night. Yesterday was his twenty first birthday, and we had gone out for drinks after the boys threw him a party at Paul's house. We had come back home and made love all night. George was a sweet man, but something slipped out his mouth last night that I couldn't shake. He had casually mentioned that he wanted to get married and spend the rest of his life with me. I wasn't sure why it had bothered me so much. I loved George so much. I knew that, and it honestly bothered me because it had bothered me, and I couldn't figure out why.

"Ready, darling?" He asked, climbing in the car.

I nodded my head, "You look quite handsome this morning. You've got a glow about you. It must be because you're twenty one now."

He chuckled, "Or it's from what you did to me last night."

"It was that good, huh?" I smirked at him.

He smiled, showing his fangs, "Well, I was thinking we could do it again sometime."

"How about tonight?" I winked.

He laughed his big laugh, "Now, you're talking."

George and I chatted casually the rest of the way to the film studios. I knew that George was so excited to be doing all of this. He hadn't stopped smiling since we'd been in America.

When we pulled in the parking lot of the studios, George turned the car off and turned to me, "How would you like to go on holiday?"

"It sounds lovely. I could use a vacation. I feel like I haven't rested since '62," I laughed.

"We have been quite busy," George agreed, "I'm glad you think it's a good idea because I already booked the trip."

I smiled at him, "Where are we going, Mr. Harrison?"

"In May, we're going to Hawaii and Tahiti with John and Cynthia."

I smiled at him. He got out of the car and grabbed his guitar case from the back seat. I couldn't believe this. I guess George thought it was okay since, on the surface, John and I were friends again. I couldn't go on vacation with John there. I just couldn't.


	36. Chapter 36: Hold Me Tight

**Something**

 **Chapter 36: Hold Me Tight**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **May 2, 1964**

There it was. The infamous Kenwood. Maureen and Jane had told me that it was beautiful, but I couldn't believe it as George drove through the gates and up the drive. It was a huge house. I couldn't believe that this was John's house. This could be our house. I didn't need to think like that, though.

Today was the day of the vacation. Maureen and Jane were going off to the Virgin Islands with Paul and Ringo, and I was stuck with John and Cynthia. George and I were picking them up so we could drive to the airport. I wasn't sure how this vacation would turn out, but George assured me that we would have a good time. I was also nervous about spending so much time with Cynthia. I hadn't really held a conversation with her ever except for that one time in America when she offered to take George back to the hotel when he was sick. I still wondered if she knew about me and John.

George shifted the car into park, "Let's go in and help them with their bags."

"Alright," I exhaled nervously.

George came around and opened my door for me, "Relax, Sasha. This will be fun."

I followed George up to the front door of the large home. He rang the doorbell, and we stood there and waited for someone to come to the door. I noticed that my palms had gone sweaty.

Suddenly, a lady that I didn't recognize answered the door, "Oh, George. Hello."

George walked in, and the lady stopped me as I started to walk past her, "Hi, you must be Sasha. I'm Mr. and Mrs. Lennon's nanny."

"Nice to meet you," I smiled at her.

George had waited for me. I followed him into the living room where John was tying his tie, and Cynthia was sitting on the couch watching Julian play on the floor.

"Hello, George. Sasha," Cynthia greeted us as we sat down on a couch.

I had never seen Julian before, but his back was turned to me. Then, he stood and waddled over to me. He had a pacifier in his mouth. I picked him up and held him in my lap and bounced my legs. I wondered when I was going to have kids. I had wanted that long ago. I noticed that Julian looked exactly like John. As I was bouncing my legs, he smiled and laughed causing the pacifier to fall from his mouth.

"He likes you," I heard John say. It sent shivers down my spine. It shouldn't have.

I smiled at Julian, "How old is he?"

"He just turned one last month," Cynthia replied.

I was struck by how much he looked like John. I continued to play with and coo at him. He was a cute baby.

We visited for a few moments before George suggested that we leave before we miss our flight. George helped Cynthia carry her bags to the car. John had his bag and walked beside me slowly to the car.

"I'm excited for this holiday," he said.

"Me too," I replied.

It was weird just making small talk with John. It was weird how distant I felt from him. I felt like he was a different person.

 **May 20, 1964**

We had been in Tahiti for a couple of weeks. George was right. The trip was fun, and now we only had a few days left. I would miss this paradise, but we were starting our tour in Australia soon. I was sat on beach by myself watching the sun come up. George and the others were still asleep in the beach bungalow that the four of us had rented.

"It's beautiful isn't. You don't see this in England," I heard Cynthia say.

She sat down next to me on the sand. We had become somewhat like friends on this trip. We would make fun of John and George when they would get up to their antics. She was a nice girl. I feel like we had more in common that I first thought. She was from Liverpool. She went to the art college with John and Stu.

I decided to bring him up, "Did you know Stu Sutcliffe?"

She smiled, "Stu. He would've loved this place. He was very talented artist. I had some classes with him. He was probably the best one at the institute. It was tragic what happened to him. John was so close to him."

"He was special to me as well. Stu was my best friend. He was there for me when no one else was," Every word I spoke, I missed him a little bit more.

Cynthia turned toward me, "I didn't know you knew him."

It was silent between us. I guessed that she was remembering Stu just like I was.

I heard her voice again, "Listen, you don't have to tell me, but…were you and John a thing before us?"

I sighed, "He hasn't told you?"

"He used to talk about a girl when we first started seeing each other. He used to say 'Cyn, I'm still not over my last girlfriend, and because of that, things might be slow between us,'" she mocked John's voice, "The other day he said something about knowing you back in Liverpool. I was just wondering if the ex-girlfriend was you."

"Yeah, we were together for three years."

"I'm sorry," Cynthia said, "I wouldn't have invited you and George if I had known. I hope it's not awkward."

"No, it's getting better. Brian made us become friends before we went to America so the public wouldn't notice that something was wrong."

Silence happened again. I wondered what she was thinking.

She took a deep breath, "Did you love him?"

I looked at her, "He was my world, Cynthia. I loved him more than anything I had ever known. We were engaged before things ended."

"Wow. I had no idea," she replied, "What happened?"

"I'd rather not talk about it," I said. I didn't know what her and John's relationship was like, and I didn't want to make her look at him any differently, "Things just went bad in Hamburg."

She didn't reply. I wondered again what she might be thinking about me and John.

Just then, I heard his voice, "Morning ladies."

He sat down next to his wife. Cynthia was in between us, and we had been good friends this vacation, but I felt like there was ocean between us.

 **June 13, 1964**

"Stop yelling at me George!" I had tears in my eyes. My vision was blurry.

The hallway we were walking down after getting out of the elevator was sideways. I think I had drank too much at the hotel bar. We were two days into our Australian tour, and George and I had gone down there for some drinks, and both of us when overboard with it. He had started a fight with me in the elevator, and I wasn't sure what we were fighting about.

"What's wrong with me, Sasha?" he yelled grabbing my shoulder and turning me around to face him, "Why won't you move on and marry me? We've been together for two and half years. I feel like we're going nowhere."

"I'm not ready," I slurred, "You said you would respect that."

George's face grew even angrier at me, "You're not ready because you're thinking about him! You whore!"

Tears cascaded down my eyes. I didn't know where his angry words were coming from. George wasn't like this. I felt a headache coming on. I felt my legs go wobbly, and I leaned against the wall. I hated being drunk.

 **John's POV**

Paul and I were sitting in the living room of our hotel suite in Adelaide long after the show. Jimmy, who was replacing Ringo while he was sick, had already gone to bed to get some rest for his flight tomorrow. Paul was reading the paper, and I was drinking a rum and coke and smoking a ciggie. We both turned to look when we heard two angry but familiar voices coming down the hall.

Paul and I stood from the couch as they got right outside the door. It was George and Sasha yelling at each other for something. They had been downstairs at the pub, and they sounded pissed out of their minds.

"You whore!" I heard George's voice yell.

I stepped behind Paul as he opened the door, "Alright, party's over."

Paul grabbed George's arm and pulled him into the room, "Get Sasha, will you John?"

I stepped into the corridor. Sasha was leaning against the wall with her eyes half closed and tears streaming down her cheeks. She was smashed. I had seen her drunk a few times in Liverpool and Hamburg. She really had to be cared for. She was one of those emotional drunks. I knew she wouldn't remember the probably pointless argument she had endured with George. I wrapped my arm around her and ushered her into the hotel room. She held onto me tightly and leaned into me. It reminded me of the old times.

I shut the hotel door behind us.

Paul was holding George up, "I'm taking George to bed. I hope they don't remember their argument tomorrow morning."

"It was probably stupid anyway," I said, "and I don't think they'll remember. They're smashed."

Paul dragged George into the bedroom behind him to put him to bed.

Sasha looked up at me and began crying harder, "John, will you hold me?"

Shivers were sent down my spine, "Sure," I said wrapping my other arm around her.

She started sobbing in my arms, "I'm so stupid. I should've come up your door. I miss you."

She was slurring her words, and I wasn't quite sure what she was talking about, but I loved the sound of her voice saying she missed me. I missed her too. I was an idiot all those years ago to let her go. I should've apologized and gotten her back like I was supposed too instead of being afraid to face her after what I had done. I still hadn't forgiven myself for the way I turned on her in Hamburg.

"John," she whispered. I looked down at her as she spoke again, "Can I kiss you?"

I sighed. I wanted to kiss her, but I knew was a bad idea, "Sasha, you're drunk. I don't think that's a good idea."

She shook her head, "I won't be mad. I want to kiss you."

When I didn't say anything, I felt her lips meet mine. It was passionate and full of love. Even though she hadn't admitted it to herself, I knew that deep down she still loved me. If she didn't still love me, she wouldn't be doing this in her drunken state. I kissed her back, slipping my tongue into her mouth. I loved her. I would admit that a thousand times to her. I fell in love with her in July of 1957, and I would never fall out of love with her until the day I died.

She pulled away and grabbed my cheek with her hand, "Hold me tight. Can we go lay down? I feel weird."

I chuckled at her, "Sure."

When I looked up, Paul was leaning against George's closed door smirking at us, "Nice, John. Don't take advantage of her when she's drunk."

"I'm not," I stared at him, "She kissed me."

Paul rolled his eyes, "Just be careful. Goodnight."

I watched as Paul walked to his bedroom door across the room and close it behind him. I took Sasha across the hall to my room. Once we were in the room, I handed Sasha one of my shirts to sleep in.

 **Sasha's POV**

I felt weird, but I felt as if I was where I needed to be.

John handed me one of his white dress shirts, "Turn around while I change."

John looked at me amused, "Sasha, no offence, but I've probably seen you in your knickers more times than George has."

"Fine," I sighed. John laughed at me. I don't know why he was laughing. I didn't think I was being funny.

I slid my dress off and unclasped my bra. I noticed John staring at me, and I blushed. I wasn't sure why I was blushing. I put on his shirt and climbed into bed. I watched as he slid off his trousers and shirt and climbed into bed in his briefs.

He held me in his arms. I sighed and snuggled closer to him. I was so comfortable I didn't want it to end. I kissed the tip of his nose. I kissed his lips. He kissed me back, and just like a few moments ago our kiss got deeper.

"I need you," my shaky voice said, "Make love to me."

John started kissing my neck and moved to hover over me. Soon, I was filled with a warmth and bliss that I hadn't experienced in four years, and I couldn't get enough of it.

 **The next morning**

I felt arms around me and snuggled into them. I was surrounded by the warmth of the blankets around me. My head was aching, and I remembered going to the pub with George, but I didn't remember coming back to bed. We must have had one too many drinks.

I slowly opened my eyes to see almond shaped hazel ones staring back at me. John.

Why the hell was I naked in bed with John?


	37. Chapter 37: You Can't Do That

**Author's Note: Here's the next chapter. Thank you to everyone that's reading. I love hearing what you think, so please comment!  
**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 37: You Can't Do That**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **June 14, 1964**

I sat up in the bed and put my hands over my face in disappointment, "No, no, no."

I was so disappointed in myself that I didn't know what to say. I couldn't remember what happened last night. Had I actually gone this far with John? How did things escalate to that? Did George know? God, I hoped George didn't know.

John sat up next to me. He put his hand on my back to calm my nerves. It didn't work.

I asked the question that I knew the answer to, "Did we..?"

"Before you say anything, Sasha," he interrupted, "You came on to me."

"Did I?" I was shocked that he would accuse me of such a thing.

I stood from the bed and started gathering my clothes and putting them on hastily. John slipped into his underwear and stopped me from walking to the door.

"We need to talk about this," He grabbed my shoulders.

"There's nothing to talk about, John. I made a mistake that I don't even remember."

I feel the tears coming to my eyes. I didn't want to cry. I wanted to be strong to let John know that he didn't have an effect on me anymore.

He brought me into his arms, and I broke down, "I'm so sorry, John. I wish I could remember what happened. I hope George doesn't know. He's the best thing that's happened to me in a while, and I love him so much. I never cheated before and…"

John shushed me and stroked my hair, "George doesn't know a thing. Paul was going to come and tell me when he woke up, and he hasn't been in here yet. George is still asleep, and he doesn't know a thing. I imagine he doesn't remember last night either."

I looked at him, "What happened?"

He led me to the edge of the bed to sit down, "Paul and I were still up. Jimmy had gone to bed. We heard you and George coming down the hallway screaming at each other. You were fighting about something, and you were both drunk out of your minds from the hotel pub. Paul took George to bed, and you asked if you could kiss me. We kissed, and then you asked me if I would hold you. I took you to my room and held you in my arms. We kissed again, I think. You looked me in the eyes and asked me if I would make love to you. I couldn't turn you down, and I'm sorry for giving in."

I looked at the ground. I couldn't believe that I had slept with John for the first time in four years, and I don't remember it. I couldn't believe that I came on to him. Did I still have feelings for him deep in my subconscious? I didn't want to think about that possibility. I loved George. John had his chance with me. He chose to leave me instead of coming to my door. He still hadn't apologized for Hamburg.

"I'm sorry Sasha," John said quietly. Was he finally going to talk about Hamburg?

I looked up at him. He had tears in his eyes. I hated to see him on the verge of getting upset. I placed my hand on his thigh.

He took a deep, ragged breath, "I screwed up. I should've listened to Stu all those years ago. I'm so sorry for what I did to you in Hamburg. I've never been more ashamed of myself, and I'll never forgive myself. Every time I look at you, I love you even more, but I also think of what I did. I'm so sorry. I wish I could go back in time and change things. I was a monster to treat you that way. You trusted me so deeply, and I let you down. I can't tell you how sorry I am. I didn't come back to you because I thought that you didn't want me to. In my mind, it didn't matter what Stu said, I believed that you hated me and never wanted to see me again. How could you after what I did to you? We had a beautiful life ahead of us. We could've gotten married and had a couple kids and had all of this fame and fortune together like we were supposed to. I'm so sorry. I can't forgive myself."

I brought John into a hug and whispered in his ear as he cried, "John, you don't know how much it means to me that you have apologized. I wish things were different too, but you and I both know that we can't be together, not now. I love George so much, and you've got a wife and a son, who looks just like you, that need you."

"But I want you," he said looking at me, "For me, it's always you. Please don't forget that. I fell in love with you on the 29th of July, 1957, and I promise that I will be in love with you until the day I die. I've never fallen out of love with you since then, and I never will. I love you so much," he held me so tight like he was never going to let me go, "I love you."

I didn't know what to say. I knew that John still loved me. He had told me himself, and Paul had also shared that with me a few times. After all the years of wanting him back in my arms, he was finally here, apologizing and telling me he loved me. It was all too much.

"Last night," he spoke again, still holding me tight, "I know you don't remember, and I know to you it was a horrible mistake that you regret. To me, it was magical. I haven't felt that much while making love in four years. I couldn't get enough of you. We kept going all night, just like we used to. The feeling of your body…"

"John," I interrupted him, "I'm sorry. I need to go. I'm sorry about last night. It wasn't meant to lead you on."

I got up quickly and left the room. I didn't want to sit there anymore and listen to him. It was making me slightly uncomfortable. I wanted to stay with him, but I had to get back before George woke up. I needed to get the thought of what I had done out of my brain. Ringo was coming back today. I knew that he could cheer up my mood.

 **July 6, 1964**

Today was the day of the world premiere of the boys' film, _A Hard Day's Night_. We had all decided to meet at Abbey Road Studios before getting in the car to go to the cinema. George had his arm around my waist. Every so often, he would lean down and give me a sweet kiss. I knew that he was so excited about this film.

Our Australian tour had ended a couple of days ago. John had luckily acted like nothing ever happened between us, and we were back to being friends. I couldn't ignore the longing looks he would give me across the room sometimes. As far as I was concerned, that night in Australia hadn't happened between me and John because I didn't remember it all. The part I was most glad about was the fact that George didn't suspect a thing. Out of sight, out of mind, I suppose.

The boys were gathered around listening to Brian's plan for the night. I was stood next to George. Cynthia was here as well to walk the red carpet with John, but she was sitting on a couch across the room. I noticed that she really didn't get involved in John's work much.

Brian finished telling his plan, and John walked past me, "John."

He turned to look at me, "Yes?"

I walked up to him, "Your tie's not straight," I reached out and began to straighten his tie.

When I had finished, I looked up at him. I looked into his eyes, which were looking in to mine. Did I still have feelings for him? I looked away, but he continued to stare.

"Alright, let's go," George said kissing me.

I think he was trying to make John jealous. It worked because John's head dropped as he walked toward his wife.

At the cinema, reporters lined the sides of the carpet. Brian pulled me and John to an interview together. She asked lots of question about the film, new Beatles music, and my upcoming second album.

When were done with the interview, we walked back into the crowd of celebrities and reporters. I felt a hand on the small of my back and looked up to John awkwardly.

"Sorry," he murmured as I felt his hand being removed.

I looked up at him again as he looked away. I couldn't help but wonder. Did I still love him?

 **December 20, 1964**

We were about to start another round of the infamous Christmas shows. Today was our day off before rehearsals start tomorrow. We had been to America again for a tour, then a tour of England, and then the boys had released another album. It had been busy, but this was our life. I had begun working on my next album. I had to have a new single by next month.

I was lying in bed next to George. We were just resting before the shows started.

"Sasha," he said, "If I ask you a question, will you not get mad at me?"

I laughed and turned to him, "Why would I get mad at you?"

"Well, I just…I was just wondering if, maybe, you still…have feelings for John?"

I was shocked, "George, how could ask such a thing. You know that I love you very much. What even makes you think that?"

I didn't want George to think this way. I didn't want him asking me about John. I loved George more than anything, but the question he asked me has been haunting my mind for months.

George turned his body to face mine, "I just don't like the way he looks at you."

"And how does he look at me?"

George sighed, "He looks at you how I look at you. He looks at you like you're his whole world, and there's nothing else that he loves more."

I kissed George, "Don't think about it. I love you. You know that."

I wasn't sure if I was reassuring George or myself at this point.

George moved so that he was on top of me, "And I love you. I love you so much. Let me make love to you."

I smiled and kissed him sweetly. He kissed me back fiercely. He started to slowly make passionate love to me. The minutes passed, and we called each other's names. Soon, I felt warmth swelling deep in my body. When I reached that familiar high, I called out George's name, but I found myself thinking about John.


	38. Chapter 38: I Need You

**Something**

 **Chapter 38: I Need You**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **January 21, 1965**

"Last night was fun wasn't it?" George asked me coming into the kitchen of our small home in Esher.

I had woken up early and decided to start breakfast before George awoke. We had a late night at the clubs, and then of course, making love.

I turned around to face him, beaming, "I'm so happy that Ringo finally proposed to Maureen. I set them up, you know?"

He laughed that big laugh that I loved so much, "I know. Everyone knows. You've haven't let anyone forget that you were the genius that set them up," he teased.

"Oh, George," I said, "I'm just proud of myself. That's all."

"I love you," he wrapped his arms around me and started kissing my neck.

I hugged him tighter as he kissed up my neck, "I love you too, George."

He brought his lips to mine and kept his strong hands on my waist while he kissed me. It was hungry kiss that was making me go weak at the knees. I suddenly didn't care about breakfast anymore.

George pulled away from me abruptly when loud knocking sounded from the front door.

"Sit down. I'll get it and then finish breakfast," I told him.

He pecked my lips once more before I made my way to the front door. I opened it to find John, rubbing his hands together nervously.

"John?"

He stuttered, "Sasha, I need you to come with me, please."

I laughed, "John, you can't just show up here and randomly ask me to go somewhere with you. What's up?"

He sighed and looked at the ground, "You need to come to the NEMS offices with me."

John was acting strangely, and I was concerned, "Why? Is something wrong?"

He looked up at me with sad eyes, "My dad is there."

"Wait, what?" I was confused, "Your dad? The one you haven't seen since you were little?"

"I only have one dad, don't I?" He shot back, "Just please come with me. Cynthia doesn't really know the whole story. You're the only one I really ever shared that part of my life with, and I can't go alone."

"Sasha," I heard George call from the kitchen, "Who's at the door?"

I looked at John, "Just give me a few minutes to get clothes on. I'll meet you out at your car."

I had told George briefly what I was doing. I knew that I would have to go into detail about it later. John sat next to me in the back of his new Rolls Royce fiddling with his hands. His driver was taking us to NEMS studios to meet his father. John explained to me earlier that Brian had called him and told him about the unexpected visitor.

I grabbed John's hand to stop his nervousness, "Relax."

"How can I relax?" He looked at me, "I haven't seen the man in twenty years. You know, ever since he abandoned me. I swear, if he wants money, he'll be sorry he ever came looking for me."

"John," I sighed, "He probably just wants to see you."

Soon, we were at Brian's office. The man waiting for John looked just like him but older and shorter. He seemed nice, but he had brought a reporter with him, which made John angry. The conversation was short, and I could tell that John wanted nothing to do with him. Within twenty minutes, we were back in the car, driving back to our houses.

John cleared his throat, "Thanks for coming with me. It meant a lot to have you there with me."

"You're welcome, John. Whenever you need anything, I'll be here for you," I assured him, "You handled yourself quite well."

"After all these years, he decided that now was the best time to show up."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't imagine how John was feeling. I don't think either of them got anything out of the short visit but to see each other again. Suddenly, John grabbed my hand again and held it tight. I made eye contact with him. He leaned in close and kissed his lips to mine.

I deepened the kiss before pulling away quickly, "Sorry."

We didn't speak the rest of the way to my house. When I got out of the car and was walking to my front door, John called to me.

"Thanks again Sasha."

I smiled at him as the car drove away. What a weird morning.

 **February 25, 1965**

The Beatles were well into their filming of their second feature film. The film shoot had brought us to the sunny beaches of the Bahamas. Today was George's birthday, and I couldn't wait for the dinner that I was taking him out to tonight. He walked into our hotel room and brought me into his arms. I stood up to kiss him, and we fell back onto the bed. He rolled over so that he was on top and kissed me again.

"I will never let you go anywhere, no matter what happens. I love you," George whispered looking into my eyes.

"Always sentimental with you, Mr. Harrison," I kissed him again and started to unbutton his white shirt, but his hand stopped mine, "Not now. Wait for tonight."

"But it's your birthday," I whined as he got off of me and walked over to the door. I got off the bed and met him there.

He held me close and rested his chin on my head, "I want to take you to the beach. Get dressed."

"Okay," I said kissing him and grabbing his hand.

"What're you doing?" He asked as I dragged him to the bathroom.

I kissed him once more and quickly undressed, "Stay with me."

I hopped in the shower and every so often would look out the shower curtain just to make sure that George was still there. When I got out of the shower, George handed me a towel and then another one after I had wrapped my hair up in the first one. He hopped off the bathroom counter and brought me into his arms.

I shuddered as he ran his cold, callused fingers up and down my bare back, "Get dressed, I'll be waiting in the café downstairs in the lobby, okay?"

"Alright, I'll meet you there," I said.

He kissed me and lingered at my lips before leaving the bathroom with a small grin plastered on his face. I got dressed in my swimsuit and put on a light floral print sundress on over it. I took down my hair, brushed it, and put some mousse in it. I put on a touch of lip gloss and started packing a bag for the beach.

I made my way to the café in the back of the lobby. I walked in and saw George at a table by himself reading a magazine and sipping a cup of tea. I noticed how good his tanned legs looked in his little bathing shorts and how muscular he looked in the maroon t-shirt he was wearing. He had his favorite white boat shoes on and was wearing his black sunglasses.

I walked up to the table and noticed a picnic basket and guitar case sitting next to him, "Hello again. Hope I didn't keep you waiting too long."

He stood up and hugged me, "No, I would wait forever for you. You look beautiful, luv."

He grabbed his guitar case and slung it over his shoulders, grabbed the picnic basket with one hand, and grabbed my hand with his free one. Our fingers intertwined together as we walked outside the hotel. I slipped on my sunglasses. George and I walked pass the hotel's pools and the snack place to the beach. Once we were there, George set up the picnic, and we both took off our shoes, and we ate a very good lunch on the sand.

After we got done with lunch, George put everything back into the basket and grabbed his guitar case, "You know I've been trying my hand at writing songs as well, and I just finished this one. I wanted to run it by you and see what you thought."

"Okay," I said smiling and anticipating the song.

George started picking the strings in a complicated, but catchy pattern, and then he began to sing the words.

 _Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,  
and I say it's all right _

_Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter  
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here  
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun  
and I say it's all right_

 _Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces_  
 _Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here_  
 _Here comes the sun, here comes the sun_  
 _and I say it's all right_

 _Sun, sun, sun, here it comes..._  
 _Sun, sun, sun, here it comes..._  
 _Sun, sun, sun, here it comes..._  
 _Sun, sun, sun, here it comes..._  
 _Sun, sun, sun, here it comes..._

 _Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting_  
 _Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear_  
 _Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,_  
 _and I say it's all right_  
 _It's all right_

After the song, George put his guitar aside, and I jumped on him and smothered him with kisses, "George that was the best song ever!"

"You think so?" He asked me.

"I know so," I smiled, "Promise me you'll dedicate that song to me on one of the records you guys make."

"Promise," George said looking up at the blue sky, "Race you to the water."

We both jumped up. I threw off my sunglasses and hat and tore off my dress. George stripped from his shirt and began running towards the water.

I finally got to the water with him; he splashed me, "Beat you!"

"That's not fair, you have longer legs than me," I said.

George brought me into his arms and forced me to fall down in the water with him. We began laughing, splashing, and kissing each other.

 **That night**

George and I were walking along the beach after the fancy dinner we had just finished. The sun had just set in the horizon and this was a beautiful paradise. I hoped George was enjoying his birthday as much as I was.

"Sasha," George stopped walking and looked me in the eyes, "The first time I met you back in Liverpool at Paul's house I knew that I loved you. I also knew that John did too and that I could never compete with him. I asked you dance at that party all those years ago because I loved you, even then. When I finally got the chance to make you mine, I did, and I've never looked back or doubted the decision. I'm so in love with you and want to ask you something tonight on my birthday."

George kneeled down in front of me on one knee and pulled a little black box out of his pocket and opened it. Inside was a beautiful diamond ring, with sapphires sparkling around the diamond. I gasped and covered my mouth with my hands.

"Sasha McCartney," George said looking up at me, "Will you marry me?"

Tears came to my eyes. I was honestly so happy, "Of course I'll marry you."

George rose from the ground and brought me into his arms with a kiss. This was what I wanted. I wanted to spend the rest of my days with George.

We walked back to the hotel room, kissing and smiling. The other boys were still up in the living room.

"We have an announcement," George got their attention, "Sasha and I have decided that it's time we start planning our wedding. I asked her to marry me, and well, she said yes."

Ringo and Paul ran over to congratulate us. I hugged Paul, and over his shoulder, I made eye contact with John. He looked at the ground, and retreated to his room. The question haunted me for the rest of the night. Was I marrying the right man?


	39. Chapter 39: You've Got to Hide Your Love

**Something**

 **Chapter 39: You've Got to Hide Your Love Away**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **March 12, 1965**

When we got back from the Bahamas the other day, we decided to travel to Liverpool for a couple days with our families until we had to leave for Austria tomorrow. Upon arrival, I learned that my dad had the flu, and it wasn't getting much better.

I stood in front of my father's bed. He was lying there reading a book in his ill health. Aunt Mimi stood next to me. George and John were in the room also, with Paul and Ringo waiting in the living room for us.

"I'll come over a few times a day and check on him," Aunt Mimi told me.

"Thank you so much for doing this," I said.

Since Mimi lived a few houses down from my dad, and they knew each other, I thought that she would be the logical fit to look after him to make sure he got better.

I walked to the side of my father's bed and leaned down and kissed his clammy forehead, "Bye daddy. I'll call you whenever I can. Love you."

"Love you too sweetheart. Don't worry about me, I'll be just fine," he said, coughing afterwards, "Go have fun being my little superstar."

I left the room after George and John, with Mimi walking beside me.

"I'll update you about him through John," she said.

"That'll be fine," I said hugging her, "Thank you again."

That afternoon we boarded the plane to the Alps and got there in time for bedtime. The next few weeks flew by with the boys filming and me promoting my new album. John and I had been the best of friends during the filming of this movie. He kept me updated on what Mimi said about my father. My dad had gotten worse, and they admitted him to the hospital for a case of pneumonia.

I got up after the boys had left one morning and decided to meet them at the set of the movie. I took a car to where they were filming and surprised them there.

"Sasha's here!" George yelled and came running through the snow.

He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. The other three Beatles ran up and hugged me as well, shielding me from the harsh cold air with their warmth.

"Let's go try to ski again," Ringo said after our group hug had broken up.

We all grabbed our ski equipment and walked to a good secluded area. The boys tried to ski, which was absolutely hilarious. Paul kept on falling down on his butt, Ringo fell forward a lot, and John nearly ran over me on our way down one time. George was doing well, except for the fact that all he would do is go to the top of the hill and push off one time with his ski poles. He would slowly glide down the hill not using the poles at all. I skied with ease, and the boys were amazed at how good I was doing.

"How come you're doing it right and not falling over?" Paul asked me in a whiny tone.

"Because, little brother, my dad's family is from Vail, Colorado. They have a big ski resort up there, and we would spend almost every Christmas there," I explained.

Paul smirked, "The truth comes out. She's experienced."

"LOOK OUT!"

We all looked up to see John running towards us from the top of the hill, but we disregarded it because it was John. The next thing I knew John had plowed into me sending us both down in the snow. We lied on our backs laughing and sat up to see everyone staring at us, George looked infuriated. I couldn't help but think that George was still uncomfortable with the fact that John and I were friends again, especially with our engagement now.

"Lighten up George," John said getting up, "We're just having fun. You could use a little more in your life," John pushed George over in the snow.

This began a huge snowball fight between all of us. It was safe to say that John and I had gotten closer as friends. It wasn't weird around him anymore, I felt like I could talk and joke around with him like nothing bad had ever happenec between us. In the back of mind, however, I wondered if I really had gotten over him. I couldn't still love him, though. I was engaged to George.

Near dinner time, Brian wrangled all of us up and told us that me were going to a dinner party that night.

"It's formal, but there's going to be dancing afterwards," Brian told us in the car on the way back to the hotel, "I need to take a count of how many people are going besides you five. Ringo, is Mo coming?"

"Yeah, she'll probably come," Ringo replied.

"Jane's not here," Paul said.

"Okay. John, is Cynthia coming?" Brian asked.

"No, she went back to England with Julian this morning," John told him.

We pulled up the hotel, and Brian stopped us from getting out of the car, "Remember, formal and comfortable at the same time. No cowboy boots, Sasha. Be in the grand ballroom of the hotel by eight."

We went to our rooms and took showers. When I was dressed, I went into the living room area that connected the two rooms. Ringo, Paul, and George were all standing by the door in tuxedos.

I went up to George and hugged him, "You look handsome."

"And you look beautiful," he said kissing me.

I had on a black formal party dress that went to my knees and black high heels. I wore my hair down and had a small clutch purse with me. I looked and saw Mo, who had on a purple party dress.

"I like your dress," I told her.

"I like yours too," she replied.

We laughed and began joking about George and Ringo when John walked out of his room. His eyes were red and puffy like he'd been crying, and he walked looking at the ground.

"You alright John?" Paul asked him.

John looked up, "I'm fine."

We all headed down to the grand ballroom and ate dinner at a big long table they had set up. The others at the dinner party were music executives from all over Europe. After dinner, music began to play, and George led me to the dance floor in the center of the room. After a couple of songs, John walked up to us and asked if he could cut in.

"Why don't you go get us something to drink, George? I'll meet you at the bar in a few minutes," I told him.

When George reluctantly walked away, John and I began to dance to the slow song that was playing. John looked at the ground and didn't look up. He wasn't being the usual John, and it was bothering me to know what was wrong with him.

"What's the matter John?"

He looked up at me and looked directly into my eyes. His eyes were full of sadness and sorrow, "I have to tell you something privately later. Come to my room when you're finished here."

With that, he let go of me and walked away. I watched him as he grabbed his jacket and left the grand ballroom. I walked over to the bar and sat down next to George.

"John seemed really upset," I observed out loud.

"He's probably just sad because he couldn't get a girl to go back to the hotel room with him tonight," George said taking a sip of his drink.

I looked over at him, "I'm serious Geo, he looked really sad. He told me that he had to tell me something later."

The rest of the night I was dying to know what John wanted to tell me. When we got back to the room, I told George that I would come to bed whenever I finished talking with John.

I went into John's room to find him sitting on the edge of the bed, his head buried in his hands. As I got closer, I noticed that he was trembling. When I sat down beside him, I realized that he was crying. I didn't know what to do at first because the last time I saw John cry was when Stu died. I finally settled with placing my hand on his back. He pulled me into his arms and cried harder.

"Ssh, John. Calm down. Tell me what's bothering you," I said rubbing his back.

He looked up at me with tear filled eyes, "Paul told me to tell you what Mimi told me because I know what it's like, but I don't know if I can watch you take that kind of news. I care about you so much, and I love you."

"What is it John? Just tell me."

"Aunt Mimi called me before the dinner party tonight," he said standing up.

"And? How's my dad?"

John sighed loudly and began pacing back and forth; he then kneeled down in front of me.

John took my hands in his, "Sasha, I'm so sorry. Your dad passed away today."

"What?" I breathed.

I was waiting for my dad to jump out and surprise me and tell me that this was all some sick joke. Then it hit me, John was right. My dad was gone. Sure, I still had Paul's dad, but Jim McCartney was just my biological father, he wasn't my dad. He wasn't the man I had spent most of my life with. He wasn't the man that had raised me, introduced me to country music, and bought me my first guitar. That man was gone now, for good.

I collapsed into John's arms, and we sat on the ground by the bed sobbing into each other. John knew what it was like, he had lost his mother.

Then I felt John's soft lips against my neck. They worked their way up to my mouth, where our lips met in the heated passion of our sadness.

"I want to take the pain away," he whispered kissing away one of my tears, "I love you."

John picked me up and set me down on the bed. He hovered over me, kissing me all the way down to my collar bone, where he stopped to gently suck and nibble on the skin.

I began to unbutton his shirt, and I slid it back over his arms. Next, I undid his belt and trousers and pulled those down, along with his underwear, over his thighs. He threw his shirt in the floor and slid his trousers and briefs all the way off and discarded them in the floor also. John began kissing me again as he hovered over me completely naked. He unzipped my dress in the back and slid it off of me. He then kissed me rolling us over so that I was on top, and removed my bra and panties. He got back on top of me and slowly started to make love to me.

A few times during the night, I found myself confessing my love for him whenever he did for me. He was taking away my pain, but in the back of my mind I knew he was creating a new one.

Later in the night, when were finished, he pulled me into his arms. I draped my arm over his chest and snuggled my head into his neck.

"I love you, Sasha."

I just lied there. I couldn't reply because at the moment I was confused on who I really did love: him or George.

 **Author's Note: Uh Oh... Who do you think Sasha will end up with? Please tell me what you think in the reviews!  
**


	40. Chapter 40: It's Only Love

**Something**

 **Chapter 40: It's Only Love**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **March 20, 1965**

I stared at the ceiling. What I had just done shocked me, and I wasn't sure what would happen if George ever found out. I looked over to see a bare John lying beside me sound asleep. George would never find out, he couldn't, I wouldn't let him.

John stirred beside me and looked at me, "You alright?"

"I can't believe this. I just cheated," I said.

"Don't think of it that way. Think of it like making love with someone else for a night," John whispered scooting closer to me and pulling me into his arms.

"That's cheating," I sighed sitting up, "I love George so much."

"Well, you can still be in love with him. As long as he doesn't find out, nothing will change between you guys," John said sitting beside me and rubbing my bare back.

I buried my head in his chest and exhaled loudly, "What am I going to do about my dad?"

Just thinking about the fact that the man that raised me was gone was enough to make me break down. I still had to go back to Liverpool and plan his funeral and finalize some things with the house and his belongings.

John sighed and held me close, resting his chin on the top of my head, "I'll go back to Liverpool with you tomorrow and help you fix everything. If George asks to go, tell him that Brian already is having a cow over me going, and tell him that I knew your dad better. Plus, Mimi will be pretty shook up over it, so I'll have to talk to her and stuff."

"Thank you," I whispered.

John held me closer, "No problem. You better get back to Georgie now."

 **George's POV**

Sasha had been in John's room almost all night. I wondered what he had to tell her and why it was taking so long.

I put the book I was reading on the nightstand and went out into the living room area. Paul was sitting on the couch reading the newspaper.

"Hey Paul," I said down on the opposite couch.

"Hey Mate," he said putting down the newspaper.

I sighed, "Do you know what's taking Sasha so long in John's room?"

Paul sighed and looked down, "He had to tell her some bad news. Poor girl's probably been crying all night."

"I could've of told her the bad news if I knew it."

"Her dad died, George," Paul said.

"Why couldn't you guys have told me, and I could've broken the news to her?"

I was sort of mad that John got to break the news to her. The thought of her crying and him comforting her was too much.

"John knew her dad better, and he was the first one to find out, providing that his aunt was keeping Sasha's dad company," Paul explained.

"I hope they're done soon. I want to make sure she's okay," I said sitting back and sinking into the plush couch.

Just then, the door to John's room opened, and Sasha came out. I stood and walked over to her. She looked at me with sad eyes and ran into my arms.

She began sobbing in my arms, I rubbed her back gently, "It's alright Sasha."

She looked up at me with tear stained cheeks, "John's going to Liverpool with me tomorrow to settle some things."

"Well, I'll go with you."

"No, Brian's already having a cow with the fact that John's leaving. You guys can come to the funeral though," she said.

I kissed her softly, "Let's get some sleep before you leave tomorrow."

I led her back to our room, and we climbed into bed and slowly fell asleep.

 **Sasha's POV**

The next morning, I stood in George's arms by the hotel lobby doors. Mine and John's luggage was scattered around us. John was standing beside Paul behind George and me.

"I'll miss you," George said kissing me.

"I'll call you every night," I promised him.

"Sasha, we're gonna miss our flight," I heard John say.

I held George close once more, "I love you."

He pulled away, "I luv you too. You should go now."

John and I grabbed our suitcases and headed out to the car parked in the front of the hotel and made our way to the airport. When we arrived in Liverpool, John and I were driven to Mimi's house. John paid the driver and we stood in front of the gate with our luggage.

"Well, we're back in good 'ol Liddypool," John said.

"Come on," I said picking up my bags.

John opened the gate for me, and then opened the back door for me.

"Aunt Mimi, we're here," John called out when we got inside.

An older lady with black hair stepped out of the kitchen, "Sasha."

She ran up to me and wrapped her arms around me. Mimi and I had become better friends as she got to know me better, and as John and I had gotten more serious back before we went to Hamburg. She pulled away from me and hugged John.

"I'm glad you got here when you did. I just fixed a big pot of scouse for lunch," Mimi said smiling.

"Thank you sweet lord," John said sprinting to kitchen.

When Mimi and I got into the kitchen, John was already at the table shoveling the stew into his mouth. Mimi laughed, and I went to sit beside him. He was still eating the bowl like he had never eaten before.

"John, you're such a fat ass."

"Hey that's not nice," he said smirking at me.

When Mimi brought mine and hers to the table, John got up for seconds.

After dinner, John got all of our luggage, and I followed him up the stairs to his old room.

"Well, this is smaller than I remember," he said sitting our bags down and looking around.

I sat down on the bed, and John closed the door. He came to the bed and pushed me down so that I lying on my back.

He hovered over me, "It's just like old times when we were so madly in love with each other. I remember sneaking you in through the back door at night, so we could come up here and make love."

"But we had to be super quiet because your Aunt Mimi's room is right next door," I said.

I pushed John down so that he was lying beside me and laughed at the memories of this room. John started saying some memories out loud, and we stayed up reminiscing.

The next morning, we headed over to my house to start going through my dad's belongings to decide what sell and what I wanted to keep. I was packing up my room when I heard John yell from the other room.

"What is this box with my name on it?"

I stood from the floor in my room, "John, I told you that I didn't want to clean the attic out yet."

He came into my room carrying the box. He sat it on the floor, "What is this?"

I sighed, "A few months after I came back from Hamburg, I packed up all of our things."

John opened the box, and we went through all of the pictures and laughed and remembered. John tried to put on his old leather jacket, but decided to stop trying before it got stuck on him.

"We were so in love," John said, looking at picture of the young us, "You were my whole world. You still are, you know?"

"John, that's a horrible thing to say," I told him, "You're married, and I'm engaged."

"I don't care," he smirked, "I love you."

He leaned and kissed me. Our kiss was like the ones we would give each other back when we had our whole lives ahead of us. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he lifted me off of the ground and onto to the bed that we had made love in so many times before.

And here we were, years later, years older, making forbidden love to each other.

"Ugh, Sasha," John moaned as he worked over me.

I moaned loudly, "John, I love you."

He smirked at me as he picked up the pace. I did love him. I had loved him. I needed to just admit that to myself. Ever since I admitted it to myself, I had felt a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. All I wanted in this moment was him. Our situation was complicated, but as he made love to me over and over in my old bedroom, I somehow knew things were going to be okay.

"Sasha?" John asked me after we were finished and tangled in each other's arms.

"Hmm?"

"I love you," he stated simply.

"John," I looked up at him, "I don't want this to end."

"It doesn't have to," he reassured me, "If we want, we could have the same arrangement that you had with Stu."

"I shouldn't have done that," I laughed, "but it doesn't sound like a bad deal. We would have to be sneaky about it."

"Sasha, if we start this affair, you have to be prepared for what could happen if anyone ever finds out."

I sighed. If George found out, I knew it would be the end of us. I couldn't believe I was thinking this, but at least, I would still have John if that happened. I was engaged to George, and I did love him, but John was my first love, and I had just recently realized that I still loved him. I couldn't get enough of his touch, his kiss.

"I love you, John," I admitted, "Maybe this affair doesn't seem like a bad idea."

He smirked at me before climbing on top of me again. He entered me slowly once more, "I was hoping you would say that."

 **Author's Note: What do you think about John and Sasha's decision about their relationship?  
**


	41. Chapter 41: Tell Me What You See

**Something**

 **Chapter 41: Tell Me What You See**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **March 22, 1965**

A sliver of sunlight peered through the slit of the curtains hanging in my old bedroom. I stared at the ceiling with John's arms wrapped around me. I felt an incredible sense of déjà vu with us being tangled up together in the sheets of my teenage years. I had woken up like this many times before. I had a lot of thinking to do about…everything. The first matter at hand was the fact that the man I had known as my dad for all my years was gone. He had succumbed from a nasty lung infection from pneumonia. His funeral had to be in a few days, so all of the Beatles could make it in between their film shoot. I needed to sort through this house full of memories and decided whether to keep or get rid of the belongings. George was driving instead of flying up to the funeral so we could take the said belongings back to London with us.

The second matter of business was the most dubious. My relationship with John. My head hurt as soon as his name popped into my mind. I feel like I should feel bad or ashamed of the way things have panned out in the last couple of days, but I don't. I couldn't care less that I was engaged and he was married, and it honestly stumped me. I kept asking myself if I really should feel bad about it. I knew that I wanted to stay with George in the long run because more trust had been built with him than John, but I had finally admitted to myself that I still love John. The affair that we were starting was going to be adventurous and dangerous. If anyone found out, it could detrimental to everything that we had both worked so hard to gain. The danger might be why I'm willing to continue this escapade. My relationship with George certainly provided no danger at all. Maybe this is the reason I'm so attracted to John. He makes my good girl faith a little edgier.

He stirred beside me and looked down at me, "Morning, love."

"Morning," I smiled and kissed him lightly on the lips.

He chuckled, "Still have your mind made up about this?"

"I want you," I whispered, kissing the tip of his nose.

He smirked at me, "You don't know how long I've been waiting to hear you say those words, mama."

I hummed, "Mmm, you don't know how long I've been waiting to hear your voice call me that nickname again," I kissed him.

"I have to go back to London today," he explained, "The boys are flying in from Austria, we've got a meeting. Tomorrow we start filming in London for a few days."

"How long until you have to go?"

He looked at the clock on the bedside table, "Probably a few hours. I was going to eat lunch at Mimi's and then go."

I was silent. I didn't want him to leave. I wanted him to stay in Liverpool with me, so we could stay in this fantasy world that we had created. Once he left, I didn't know the next time I would able to be close to him, kiss him, feel him.

He sighed, "Are you going to be okay by yourself for a few days?"

"I'll manage," I replied, "I've still got lots to pack and lots to plan for the funeral."

John was silent this time. I felt his fingers slowly start drawing patterns on my bare back. He kissed me again. Our kisses were slowly becoming as spark-flying as they used to be.

I sat up and straddled him, "Let's make these last few hours count."

He smirked at me, "You read my mind."

* * *

Just like he said, John left after lunch at Mimi's. I stayed at Mendips while John was in London. I couldn't stay at home by myself. It felt weird sleeping in his childhood room without him. A few days came and went, and soon, George was embracing me in front of the front gate of Mendips. I looked at John over George's shoulders, he smirked at me, and I looked away.

"I missed you," George whispered in my ear, "I love you."

I hugged him tighter, "I love you too. I'm so glad you're finally here.

I felt weird. It was odd that just because I had finally confessed my love for John, my love for George wasn't any less. I loved George just same before the past few days happened. I always believed that you could only be in love with one soulmate at one given time, but I was slowly proving my theory wrong.

The funeral came and went. I honestly just wanted it all to be done. I couldn't stand the sadness anymore, and I knew that my dad wouldn't have wanted me to dwell on it for too long.

George and I drove back to London with the memories that I had saved in the backseat. The drive was silent, but I knew that George didn't mind the silence. I looked over at him. One hand was on the steering wheel, and his other hand was resting on the gear shift. He looked gorgeous. He treated me well. I couldn't have found a better man to want to marry. Then, I thought of John. I loved him as well, but would I regret it if I ever married him. I knew he would drop Cynthia in a heartbeat if I said the word, and that honestly made me uncomfortable. I tried to get him out of my mind as I stared out the window the rest of the way to London.

 **June 11, 1965**

I thought of John as I walked down the streets of London. I couldn't wait to see him again at the studio in a few days. John and I had made ways to see each other privately and continue our affair in last two months. Just last month, we had even gone as far as wearing disguises and checking into a hotel under fake names. I knew what we were doing was wrong, but I just couldn't find the courage to end it. I didn't want to end it.

I turned on to Cavendish Avenue. Paul had invited me over for afternoon tea, and he said he wanted play a song for me before they record it in a couple days. I walked up to the flat and knocked on the door.

"Hello," Jane said giving me a hug, "I'm just going out to the shop. I didn't know you were coming."

"That's alright. Paul called me over," I replied, stepping inside.

She smiled, "Okay. Are we still having dinner with Maureen on Friday night since the boys will be in the studio until all hours," she laughed.

"Of course," I said, "I think we're meeting at Maureen's house. She said something about a pamper evening."

"Yes, I'm excited. I going to buy the champagne and face masks now."

"You girls always start chatting right away," Paul said coming down the stairs.

I hugged him, "My brother, the MBE."

"Stop it," he warned, "I don't why we're getting the bloody award anyway."

I laughed, "You'll be knighted someday at this rate."

Jane laughed out loud, "How funny would that be? Paul, a knight!"

"Thanks," Paul said unenthusiastically.

Jane rolled her eyes and gave him a kiss, "Well, I'm off. I'll be back to cook dinner, Paul. Goodbye, Sasha. See you Friday!"

I bid her goodbye as she left and followed Paul into the kitchen. We chatted over afternoon tea, and then sat in the living room so Paul could play me the new song he had written.

"So, can I ask you a personal question?" Paul asked quietly.

"Sure," I said.

Paul inhaled and exhaled slowly, "Back in March, in the Alps, when John was telling you about your dad, did you two sleep together?"

I panicked. How did he find out? And if he knew, did George know?

"Why do you ask?" I said trying to play it off.

"I kind of heard some things coming from the other side of the door because I was sitting on the couch. So did you?" He asked.

I looked down at my feet and shivered. When Paul asked me about it, I became ashamed for the first time, "I don't love George any less, you know."

"Why Sasha? How could you let John talk you into doing that?"

"Does George know?" I asked him.

Paul sighed, "No, George doesn't know, and I guess he'll never know."

"No he won't. It was a mistake, and I'm ashamed of myself," I said, "Now, can you play your new song for me so we can forget about this?"

I couldn't let him know that John and I were having a legitimate affair. Unless, he already knew. He acted like he already knew.

"Sure," Paul said getting his guitar out, "This is a song that I've been playing around with for the last couple weeks, and I finally got the words right. I want to play it for you because I always play you my new songs," Paul began to strum and sing the beautiful lyrics.

 _Yesterday,  
All my troubles seemed so far away,  
Now it looks as though they're here to stay,  
Oh, I believe in yesterday._

 _Suddenly,_  
 _I'm not half the man I used to be,_  
 _There's a shadow hanging over me,_  
 _Oh, yesterday came suddenly._

 _Why she_  
 _Had to go I don't know, she wouldn't say._  
 _I said,_  
 _Something wrong, now I long for yesterday._

 _Yesterday,_  
 _Love was such an easy game to play,_  
 _Now I need a place to hide away,_  
 _Oh, I believe in yesterday._

 _Why she_  
 _Had to go I don't know, she wouldn't say._  
 _I said,_  
 _Something wrong, now I long for yesterday._

 _Yesterday,_  
 _Love was such an easy game to play,_  
 _Now I need a place to hide away,_  
 _Oh, I believe in yesterday._  
 _Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm._

I wiped a tear from my cheek, "That was amazing, Paul."

"Are you crying?" Paul asked.

I didn't have to say anything before he pulled me into his arms, "It's alright, sis. Everything's going to be fine."

"I'm so confused," I cried, "I love George so much, but I think I may have feelings for John again. Actually, I know I love John."

Paul was silent for a few moments, "Sasha, I know you're having an affair with him."

I looked up at him. I didn't know what to say.

"I'm not mad at you. I just don't want you to be the one that gets hurt in the long run. Just wait it out though. Everything will work itself out in time. But listen," I looked up at him, "I'll always be here for my big sister."

 **June 19, 1965**

"Bye, George," I kissed him, "Have fun.""

"I should be home around nine tonight," he told me one last time.

I watched him as he walked down the sidewalk and climbed into his car. He was going out with Ringo today to do something before the tour starts tomorrow in Paris.

As I shut the door after watching him drive out of the front gates, the phone rang, "Hello?"

"Sasha," it was John, "Is George gone yet?"

"He just left," I smiled. Why was I smiling? Sometimes I confuse myself.

I could hear the smirk in his voice, "I'll be over in five. I can't wait to get you out of whatever you're wearing."

* * *

"John," I called out.

I was on my hands and knees on top of mine and George's bed as John pushed into me from behind.

"How long do we have?" He panted.

"George…said he would…be home…around nine," I panted back.

John's movements got faster and sloppier. I called his name and we moaned loudly together. I thought I heard something, but I ignored it.

Until I heard a voice calling out, "Sasha?" It was Maureen. I bet Jane was with her.

I slapped my hand to my forehead and bit my lip, "I forgot I invited them over yesterday," I whispered.

"At least let me finish," John joked.

I bit my lip as he finished. I jumped off of the bed and grabbed my silk robe as I heard Jane and Maureen calling my name. I know the three of us were best friends and all, but I really wish they would knock when they come over.

"Stay here," I whispered to John as I walked toward the door.

I walked into the living room to Jane and Maureen standing by the couch.

"We didn't know if you were home," Maureen said.

I caught my breath, "I'm right here."

Jane looked concerned, "Sasha, are you okay? You look a little flustered."

"I'm fine," I lied.

Suddenly, the toilet in the back bathroom flushed. Damn John.

"Is someone here? I thought George went with Ritchie," Maureen spoke slowly.

I looked around with my eyes, "He did."

Jane smirked at me, "What's going on, Sasha? Toilets don't just flush on their own."

"Ours is rubbish," I lied.

I laughed awkwardly as Jane and Maureen smirked at me. I knew I couldn't lie to them. But I couldn't tell them about John. Suddenly, both of their mouths dropped open and their eyes went wide. No.

I turned and saw John standing right behind me, "Morning ladies."


	42. Chapter 42: In My Life

**Author's Note: Happy Birthday John! This is a very special chapter for John's birthday! I hope you enjoy it!  
**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 42: In My Life**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **June 19, 1965**

Maureen looked like she was about to cry, "Sasha, what the hell is going on?"

I glared back at John, "Leave."

He gave a small chuckle before heading back to the bedroom. He slammed the door once he had entered. I turned back to Maureen and Jane. Jane's jaw closed for the first time since John had walked into the living room. There were tears running down Maureen's cheeks.

"Mo, please don't cry," I said hugging her.

She laughed and pulled away, "I'm sorry. It's the pregnancy hormones. I just…I can't believe this. How long has this been going on?"

Jane still hadn't said a word. I hope she wasn't angry with me.

I inhaled a shaky breath, "Sit down."

We all sat down on the couch, and I told them everything about me and John. I told them about Australia, and I told them about our decision to start an affair back in March. They understood, and they cried with me. After swearing them to secrecy, we cut our plans short for the day, and they headed back to their houses.

Once I was sure they were gone, I stormed back to the bedroom. John was sitting on the bed playing my guitar.

"Sasha, I," He started.

I brought my hand up and slapped him across the face.

"Shit, Sasha. That bloody hurt," he said rubbing his face.

"How could you walk in there when you knew Mo and Jane were here?"

He grabbed my hand, "I don't know."

"John, do you understand what could have happened? They could still tell someone," I said, "No one else can know about this. Do you understand me?"

"I…," John sighed, "I wrote a song. I want to play it for you and see what you think."

Before I could say anything, he started strummed the strings of my guitar. I sat down next to him on the bed.

 _There are places I remember  
All my life though some have changed  
Some forever not for better  
Some have gone and some remain  
All these places have their moments  
With lovers and friends I still can recall  
Some are dead and some are living  
In my life I've loved them all_

 _But of all these friends and lovers_  
 _There is no one compares with you_  
 _And these memories lose their meaning_  
 _When I think of love as something new_  
 _Though I know I'll never lose affection_  
 _For people and things that went before_  
 _I know I'll often stop and think about them_  
 _In my life I love you more_

 _Though I know I'll never lose affection_  
 _For people and things that went before_  
 _I know I'll often stop and think about them_  
 _In my life I love you more_

 _In my life I love you more_

By the end of the song, I was sobbing, "John, that's the most beautiful song I've heard in a long time."

"I mean it, you know?"

"Mean what?" I asked him as he propped my guitar back up against the wall.

He sat down next to me and wrapped his strong arms around me, "I love you more."

I just sat in his arms for a long time. For the first time during our affair, I was questioning my decisions. For the first time, I was thinking about ending things with George and having John to myself. I decided not to say anything about it to John. I knew he would probably blow it out of proportion.

He brought his lips to mine, and I soon found myself underneath him on mine and George's bed making sweet love.

 **October 22, 1965**

We had been on tour and played a huge show at Shea Stadium in New York City back in August. Throughout the tour, John and I had found ways to sneak away and confess our love for one another. No one else has found out about our beautiful love affair. I've decided that I probably need to stay with George and end things with John before someone gets hurt, but I was just having too much fun.

I was sitting in the control room of studio two with my feet propped up on the soundboard. George Martin and the other producers were sitting around me listening to the boys in the recording studio below. They were recording a couple of songs for their new album that was coming out soon. I loved the sound of it so far, with all of the songs being written by them. George was even playing a little riff on his new hobby, the sitar, for one of the songs.

"Was that good George?" Paul said from the studio.

"Yes, Paul. Let's keep running through it," Mr. Martin replied.

I buzzed in, "Boys, I'm going to pick some lunch for us and bring it back here."

They all nodded at me. I got up from my chair and grabbed my car keys off the table by the door of the studio. As I was walking through the hallway, someone grabbed my waist.

I turned to find a familiar face, "John, what are you doing?"

"Sssh," he put his finger to my lips, "I told them I had to go to the toilet. We have a few minutes."

I smirked at him as he pulled me into the bathroom. He picked up and sat me on the counter. He pushed my dress up and kissed my neck. Soon, his hips were moving with mine, and I was moaning his name.

When we finished together, he gave me a swift kiss, "I've got to get back in the studio."

"I'm going to get lunch," I fixed my dress back the way it was.

I started to walk out of the bathroom, but John's hand caught me, "I love you, Sasha."

"Love you," I kissed him, "Be back soon."

That night I was dressed and ready for bed. The rest of the day, I haven't been able to think of anything other than John. I was afraid that I was falling more in love with him than George. At the thought of George, he walked in the bedroom in his briefs and climbed into bed next to me.

"So," he started, "We've got a tour next year, but I was thinking with could set our wedding date for some time next autumn after the tour's over."

I nodded my head in agreement.

George kissed me, "I can't wait to marry you. I love you."

I closed my eyes. For the first time, I couldn't say it back.

 **December 13, 1965**

I hummed as I wrote down some lyrics for a new song leaning over the guitar in my lap. I had come to the studio to work alone for a few hours.

I started playing again as I heard the door in the control room open and close. There he was, just like he promised, coming down the stairs to meet me.

He lips caressed mine, "I missed you today."

I smiled at him, "I love you, John."

"I love you," he replied sitting down on the couch that was in the studio.

I got up from the chair I was sitting in and put my guitar on its stand. I made my way over to John on the couch and kissed him deeply as I sat down in his lap. His tongue made its way into my mouth. He hands were all over me. I knew what was coming next.

After we had made love, John put a blanket over the both of us as we lay in each other's naked arms on the small couch. I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep to the sound of John's voice telling me he loved me.

 **Paul's POV**

"Why are we at the studio again?" I asked George as we climbed out of his car.

He had come around to my house and told me we were going to the studio for some reason.

George got out of the car after turning the engine off, "Sasha didn't come home last night. I want to make sure she's okay."

"Maybe she fell asleep here," I suggested, "Her car is here."

George looked around the car park, "Isn't that John's car?"

No. I prayed that John wasn't here with Sasha. George couldn't find out about them. At least, not like this. Before I could make excuses, George had already made his way inside. I followed him closely. Please, John, don't be here. George violently pushed the door open to the recording studio. He barged down the stairs with me closely behind them.

I exhaled. There they were, tangled up together on the couch, asleep and naked with a thin blanket covering them.

"No," I heard George whisper.

"George," I put my hand on his shoulder, "I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for this."

He shrugged me away, "As if."

I watched as George ripped the blanket off of John and Sasha. John opened his eyes slowly and a slew of profanities fell from his lips. George grabbed Sasha violently by the arms.

She opened her eyes at him, "George. I'm sorry. It's…"

George picked her up from the couch by the arms and pushed her down to the ground.

"George!" John yelled standing up to him.

I could only watch in silence as George raised his fist and punched John straight in the face. I decided to cut in.

I grabbed John, "Okay, John. We're leaving. This is between George and Sasha now."

 **Sasha's POV**

I watched as John left up the stairs with Paul. This couldn't be happening. I didn't want George to find out like this. I didn't want him to find out at all. He turned angrily to me. I was still sitting on the ground since George had pushed me down. Tears were streaming down my face. I grabbed my dress, and slipped it on slowly.

George grabbed my arm, "We're going home. I want to be completely alone to talk about this."

The whole ride home was silent. George was so quiet until the moment we walked into our house.

"WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING MARRIED!" George screamed at me suddenly, making me jump.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't the one who started this," I cried.

"THEN WHO DID SASHA?! It takes two people to do what you and John did last night," George panted, "I trusted you. I loved you. How long has this been going on?"

"Since March," he looked at me shocked, "When my dad died."

It was silent for so long. I thought George was never going to speak again as he sat staring at the carpet.

"I would forgive you," George said quietly, "But you allowed it happen for this long. You obviously don't stop him. I'm not even sure if I can be in love with you anymore after finding this out."

I started crying harder thinking about what he had just said. George placed his hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged away and got up and ran to our room.

Once I was in the bedroom, I got out my suitcases and started filling them with all my belongings.

George ran in the room and saw what I was doing, "Sasha, don't. I didn't mean it."

He tried to stop me from packing, but I shrugged him off and continued packing. I was crying harder now, and my shaky hands were fumbling to fold clothes.

"Don't leave me," George said trying to hold me.

I smacked his hands away, "I'M NOT LEAVING YOU!"

"Then why are you packing all your stuff up?"

"I need to go see my mom," I said quietly.

"What? What does that have to do with anything?"

"I need my mom, George. I need a break from England for a while. I'm not leaving you, I just need a break. I'm so confused."

"You're confused? You mean you can't decide if you love me or John?"

"No, that's not what I mean. I just need time to think. I'm a girl who needs to talk to her mother, George," I said closing my last suitcase.

George tried to convince me to stay and work things out, but I couldn't talk about this anymore. I just needed to run away from all of this for a couple weeks. I called Paul and asked him to take me to the airport. When he arrived, he helped me take my luggage to his car without asking questions.

George stopped me on my way out the front door, "I really do love you."

I started crying again, "Goodbye, George."

I walked to Paul's car and sat in the passenger seat. I watched George, who was standing on the front porch, start crying as Paul backed out of the driveway.

We were half way to the airport when Paul looked at me and placed his hand on my leg, "It's going to be alright, Sasha."

I felt the tears coming back to my eyes, and I started crying the heaviest that I've ever cried. I wondered if I could ever fix this or if George was gone for good. As I sat in the airport waiting for my flight, I wondered why George wasn't coming to get me. Why wasn't he fighting for me? I walked to the gate when they called my flight number. I looked around one last time, no sign of George.

 **Author's Note: What did you think?  
**


	43. Chapter 43: I Almost Do

**Author's Note: Happy Monday! Is Sasha going to return to George or John? Leave you answers in the comments!  
**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 43: I Almost Do**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **December 14, 1965**

I saw my childhood friend, Abigail's, curly red hair at the end of the terminal in the airport. I ran toward her and hugged her tight.

"I've missed you so much, girl," she said to me, laughing.

I pulled away from our hug, "I missed you too."

"What happened? You sounded upset on the phone," Abigail said walking with me to get my luggage.

"I'd rather tell you in the car. It's a long story," I told her remembering George's face when I backed out of the driveway.

Once I had my suitcases and we were in Abigail's car headed to my old house, I decided to tell her everything. By the end of the story, we were both crying.

"This reminds me of when we were teenagers, and we would spill our boy problems to each other," I cried, laughing at the same time, reminiscing.

Abigail sighed as she pulled into my driveway, "Things were a lot simpler back then."

We got out of the car and met each other at the front of her car.

"Aren't you going to get your stuff?" Abigail asked me.

I smiled, "No, I'm too excited to see mom."

I started to walk toward the front door, but Abigail stopped me, a sad look on her face, "Listen Sasha, don't get mad. I was going to call you when I found out, but your mom wouldn't let me. She got diagnosed with cancer a few months ago; it was pretty far along when they found it."

I stood there in the cold December air, shocked. This couldn't be happening to me; first, dad dies, then, George and I might be done, and now my mother's dying.

"Sasha? You alright?"

"How bad is she?" I asked my best friend.

Abigail frowned, "She never really gets out of bed. A few weeks ago I had to move in to help her. She can't do anything without help. I hired a lady from the nursing home to come and help her while I'm at work or busy."

I ran in the front door with the house key that I had gotten years ago. I ran back to my mother's bedroom and there she was, lying in bed helplessly. Her face was pale, her eyes were sunk back slightly with dark circles underneath them, and her lips were severely chapped. She looked really underweight, and I wondered how she was alive being that small.

"Momma," I said quietly holding back tears.

"Sasha, my dear, you made it," her familiar voice rasped.

I went to lie in bed next to her. I brought her into a hug and started sobbing again. I told her everything that had happened to me over the past few years and she comforted me in a way that I didn't know how much I had missed.

She cleared her throat for hundredth time, "So, you and George are still practically engaged?"

"Yes, all I told him was that I was taking a trip to think. I still love him so much, momma."

"Dinner's ready," Abigail poked her head in the door.

"I really appreciate your friend giving up her life to help me. I just feel so bad," mom said once Abigail had left.

I helped her frail body out of bed, "Well, I'm here to help you now momma."

"I don't want you to give up your life or career for me either. I know important it is to you," she said as she slowly shuffled beside me.

"You're important to me," I said gripping her arm.

I watched as she barely had enough strength to sit down at the table. I knew in the back of my mind that my mother didn't have very long left on this Earth, but I didn't want to come to terms with that fact. I wanted to call George and have him fly here right away to hold me, but I couldn't bring myself to do that either.

After dinner, I helped momma go to bed, said goodbye to Abigail, and bundled in warm clothes to go outside. I walked down to the barn and greeted my horse, Comet. I saddled him and rode to my favorite stop on our farm, a little creek with a waterfall that was surrounded by lots of trees. I sat in the grass and thought about everything that I've been through. I couldn't bear the thought of losing everything in such a short amount of time. I knew the next few months would be filled with me helping my dying mom live her final months. I wondered what George was doing at this very moment. I decided not to think about him, though. I untied Comet and rode him back to the barn for the night. I walked quietly up the stairs to my old room.

Nothing had changed, and for a second, I felt as if I were sixteen again, coming up here to sit at my desk and read Paul's letters. My life had changed so much since then, and I wasn't sure how it was going to turn out. I got dressed for bed and cried myself to sleep for the first time in a long time.

 **February 25, 1966**

 **George's POV**

Sasha left three months ago and hasn't called or even let me know she's okay or even alive. I've even tried to call her mother's house in Nashville, but no one ever answers. Paul, Ringo, and even John have tried to convince that she's coming back, but I just don't get that feeling.

Today's my birthday, and I at least expected her to call, but it's dinner time and still no birthday call. Maybe I was living in the past too much. Maybe I should just accept the fact that she's gone and may never come back.

I picked up the phone and dialed a number that I knew off the top of my head. It rang for a while until someone finally answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey Pattie. It's George."

 **Sasha's POV**

 **March 30, 1966**

The more time I spent in Nashville, the longer the days got. My mother had gotten worse, and I knew she was in the final stages of her life. It's hard to comprehend after all that I've been through that I could wake up in the morning and not have a mother anymore. I was already alone enough as it was without a father or George.

George. I came out here to have girl talk with my mom and think about what I wanted in my life, and those plans had suddenly changed, but they had to. My mother couldn't even get up out of the bed by herself. I never had time to talk to anyone or visit my old friends. I was here taking care of my mother nonstop. That is exactly why I haven't had time to check in with anyone back in England. I also expected George to come after me and try to work things, but sadly, there's been no sign of him.

I strummed random chords on the guitar up in my room. My mom had told me to leave my bedroom door open because she liked to her me just play around.

I heard her weak voice from downstairs, "Sasha come down here quick!"

I raced frantically down the stairs because I thought something was wrong with her. When I got to the living room, momma was watching the news in her recliner.

"What momma? I thought something was wrong," I told her sitting down on the couch.

"Watch the TV," she instructed quietly.

I looked at the black and white screen and saw George sitting next to a beautiful blonde girl, smiling widely at her. She looked so familiar, but I couldn't place her.

"Do you plan on having any kids?" The reporter asked the two of them.

What? Kids?

The blonde headed girl spoke in a posh accent, "I would love to have three kids."

She smiled at George. George smiled weakly at her, and then, he kissed her. The kiss looked weak and with no emotion from George. I stared at the screen in shock as George kissed the woman.

The news anchor came back on the screen, "Well, that's the Beatles' George Harrison and his new wife, model, Pattie Boyd. That will do it tonight for the entertainment part of the news. Stick around for the local weather forecast."

My mother turned off the television and looked at me. The tears were welling up in my eyes. How could George do this to me? We were practically still engaged and he thinks that were over because I'm too busy taking care of my dying mother. Who does he think he his? I closed my eyes and a tear trickled down my cheek.

"I'm so sorry sweetie," my mother said quietly.

"I'll be back inside for dinner soon," I told her as I got up and walked to the backdoor.

When I got outside, I ran to barn as fast as I could, crying hard. I rode my horse to the creek; when I got there I cried for a good hour and a half.

Had I lost George for good? What was I going to do now that he wasn't mine anymore? I still loved him dearly, and I knew he still loved me.

When I got back to the house, I walked in the backdoor through the kitchen. A sickening feeling entered my stomach.

 **2 weeks ago**

 **London, England**

 **George's POV**

"George, please don't go through with it. You barely know her," Paul pleaded with me.

Ringo and John were staring intently at me. John had a disgusted look on his face.

I stood up from the couch, "I'll do what I want. I know Pattie enough to marry her."

"You dated her for two weeks George! You're practically still engaged to Sasha," this was the first time Ringo had spoken since the conversation started.

John sighed and faced me, "George, everyone knows you're doing this to cope with Sasha not being here. But trust me, she will come back. You just wait and see."

"I love Pattie, and we're getting married. End of discussion," I told them.

Paul put his guitar that he had been playing down, "Do you know how much this will hurt Sasha?"

"End of discussion," I said walking out of the studio.

Why did everyone always try to control my life? It's just because I'm the youngest. I truly did still love Sasha, but she wasn't coming back, and I could feel it. I just wish she would call, then I would have an excuse to call off the wedding that was about to happen.

I walked into the court house and saw Pattie standing there in a white fur coat.

"Hello, love. Ready to get married?" She asked me, kissing my cheek.

I sighed, "Ready as I'll ever be."

 **Sasha's POV**

 **March 30, 1966**

The sickening feeling in my stomach was getting worse as I slowly walked into the living room. My mom was slumped over in the recliner; the glass of water on the table beside her was spilt.

I approached her, "Momma?"

She didn't respond.

"Mommy, please answer me," I said starting cry again.

I collapsed in the floor when she didn't respond. I had lost my mother, and now there was no one.

A few hours later, I was sitting in the hospital lobby. The paramedics couldn't revive my mother, and now she was lying in the cold morgue somewhere in this building. I walked over to the pay phone and dialed a number that I hadn't called in a while.

"'Ello?"

"Ringo?" I asked quietly.

"Sasha?!" He yelled into the phone, "Everyone's missed you so much. Did you call the studio for your brother?"

"Yes, is he there?"

"Yeah, just a second," I could hear the smile in Ringo's voice.

A few seconds of silence went by until I heard the soft voice that I missed so much, "Sasha, is this really you? Is anything wrong?"

At the sound of Paul's concerned voice, I started to cry, and I told him everything that had happened to me.

"Hang in there sis," Paul said, "Ringo and I will be there in a few hours. We'll catch the next flight to Nashville."

 **5 days later**

Ringo and Paul had arrived at my house the next morning, and I was so glad to see them. Now we were at my mother's funeral. I was sitting in between Ringo and Paul, each of them holding one of my hands tight and my head resting on Paul's shoulder.

After the funeral, Paul and Ringo had to go back to London, and I drove them back to the airport.

"You're not coming back with us?" Ringo asked me as we stood in the terminal.

"No, I still have to finalize some things here with my mom's will, then I'll be back," I told him.

Ringo brought me into a tight embrace and held me there for what felt like hours.

I gave Paul a piece of paper with my flight information on it, "Make sure you pick me up at the airport in London in two days."

Paul brought me into a tight hug, "I'll try to make there, sis."

We said our goodbyes, and Ringo and Paul headed down the hallway to board the airplane, and I went back outside to my car.

Two days later, when I arrived in London, I searched for Paul's familiar face. I saw a familiar face to pick me up, but it was not Paul's. I walked forward slowly suddenly scared of what might happen next.

 **Author's Note: Who's at the airport to pick her up?  
**


	44. Chapter 44: Sad Beautiful Tragic

**Author's Note: Please comment! I love hearing what you have to say!  
**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 44: Sad Beautiful Tragic**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **April 2, 1966**

John.

There he was standing at the end of the terminal. I would have rather seen George standing there, and we all know how well that would turn out.

But, no, Paul had to send John. He looked around for me through the crowd of people. As much as I wanted to admit that I was not glad to see him, and I hated him for being here, I loved him, and all those feelings I had before I left came flooding back to me.

I slowly walked up to him. When he spotted me, he smiled then smirked, looking up and down my body.

"You look good, Sasha," he said, staring at my breasts.

Yep, still the same John. I suddenly hated him again.

"Hi, John," I said angrily.

He brought me into his arms and held me tightly.

He sighed and whispered, "I bet you're not glad to see me, but I'm glad to see you."

I hugged him back, "I missed you," I finally admitted to John as well as myself.

John released me from his arms and smiled at me. He took my hand and we walked together to get my luggage. He walked me out to his car and opened the passenger door for me.

When he got in the car, he started it and turned to me, "I missed you so much. I still love you, you know."

"Ugh," I sighed and leaned my head back on the headrest, "John, I just got back, and you're already starting on me."

"I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that I don't love you anymore," John said, "And George can't lie and make it seem like he doesn't love you."

"Don't bring him up, please."

John chuckled, "So you heard?"

"Yes, and I don't want to talk about it. It's your entire fault anyway," I said looking at him.

John laughed, "My fault?"

I sighed, "Yes, your fault. If could keep it in your pants, I would have never left in the first place."

"How can I keep it in my pants when you're so irresistible?" John asked me smirking.

This was going to be a long day.

"You hungry?" I heard John ask me a few minutes later.

"Sure," I said as John parked the car.

We got out of the car and walked to a little shack by the river to get fish and chips. We sat at a picnic table near the railings.

"Remember the first time we ate fish and chips together. Our first date," John smiled at me.

I smiled back at him, "Yeah, which was before you became a big fat jerk."

"Ha!" John laughed loudly, "You're just full of insults today."

"Well, I didn't exactly want you to pick me up today," I told him truthfully.

"Yeah, you wanted George to pick you up. You want to pretend that everything's been okay here too. Well, it hasn't!"

"What is that supposed mean? It can't be worse than the time I've had. My mother died, and my fiancé married someone else, and I found out on the news. All in the same day, John," I said starting to cry.

I got up from the table and fast walked away from John. I started to cry harder as I thought about the fact that I had nowhere to go. I didn't want to be here because of John and George, but I had no family or anything anywhere else.

I felt John spin me around with his hand. His eyes searched mine, and then he brought me into a tight embrace.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

I pulled away from him and looked in his eyes. Every pain that I felt suddenly went away as he leaned closer to me. Soon our lips were parallel with each other, and when they touched it was magical.

"The photographers, they probably saw us," I said, suddenly paranoid.

John sighed, "I don't care. Cyn's long gone anyway."

"What?"

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and walked me down the river, "In January, she was confused about everything that had happened between you and George. She kept asking everyone why you left, and no one would tell her. Well, the nanny decided to finally tell her what had been going on. She packed her things and filed the divorce papers."

I stopped walking, "I'm sorry, John. I've ruined everything."

"None of this is your fault," John smiled, "Besides, now I can be with the person I really love."

John and I had driven back to Abbey Road Studios. I walked in beside him, not even thinking about where we were.

We walked into the studio, and I dropped my handbag at the sight of him. George was sitting there with his guitar in his lap.

"Sasha," he blurted out as he looked at me.

Paul and Ringo were there also and all the eyes in the room were on George and me.

George stood up and headed for the door. He stopped at me on the way there. He stood in front of me staring at me with sad tear filled eyes. He walked past me and out the door quickly.

My eyes suddenly filled with tears, and I realized that I couldn't just go after him and make everything okay. He was married now, he was gone for good.

"Paul, can I talk to you?" I heard my voice ask quietly.

Paul took off his bass and hurried towards me. He put his arm my shoulders and ushered me out of the door and down the hallway to the other studio. By now, I hadn't even noticed that I was crying harder than ever. When we got in the other room, Paul closed the door and sat us down on the couch.

He wrapped his arms around me and held me while I cried, "Sasha. We all tried to convince him that you were coming back soon. He just didn't listen and made himself believe that you weren't coming back. That's why he got married; he was trying to cope with you being gone."

"He didn't have to get married Paul! I love him, I want him. I want to make everything okay and for us to go back to the way it was. I don't love John like I love George. I can never love anyone like I love George," I sobbed to Paul.

He brought my head back to his chest and rubbed the back of my head, "I just don't understand why you didn't call him or answer his calls."

"Paul, I was taking care of my dying mother. I didn't exactly have time to call and chat. Momma couldn't even get out of bed by herself. She was so weak," I sobbed into Paul's chest, "I want him back Paul. I wish he would've never married her. I deserve him. I should've called him. It's my entire fault, I pushed him away."

"Now, don't go blaming yourself," Paul said quietly, "It's his loss, and he feels pretty crummy knowing that if he would've listened to me then he would be holding you now. He still loves you Sasha, everyone knows it, and everyone can see it."

"I still love him," I said crying harder.

Paul continued to rub the back of my head through my hair, "Sssh, it's alright. It's all going to be okay. Life goes on. Don't cry this hard, you're going to make yourself sick."

I sat back up and began to wipe my eyes as George came into the room.

Paul stood and walked over to him, "It's not a good time to be in here George."

"I need to talk to Sasha," he said.

Paul walked out of the door, and I didn't want him to leave me alone with George. A tear ran down my cheek even though I was trying not to cry.

George sat down on the couch and wiped the tear off my cheek with his calloused finger. His big brown eyes that I had missed so much were shining with tears also. He brought me into his arms, a place I had missed and longed for every night that I was gone. It felt like home wrapped in his arms. His smell came flooding through my senses. God, I had missed him.

I heard him whisper quietly, "I wish I could fix this, but I can't. I need to talk to you about all this mess, right now."

After crying long and hard in George's arms, I looked up to his cheeks shining as well. He was so beautiful, even when upset. Those deep brown eyes that I had missed so much were clouded with different emotions. His tough hands gripped my upper arms tightly, almost to the point where it was painful. I wanted so bad to lean forward and kiss his soft lips, but I wasn't sure how he'd react to that. Instead, I looked down. I didn't want to look in his eyes anymore.

I heard him sigh, letting my arms go and dropping his hands to his lap, "I'm so stupid," he mumbled.

He got off of the couch and paced in front of me, and then he stopped abruptly and sat back down, "I don't know what to say to you, Sasha. Look at me."

He placed his hand under my chin and brought my head up to face him.

"I love you," he whispered, "But I can't love you anymore."

I didn't say anything, but waited for him to continue. I just loved hearing his voice, even if I didn't particularly like what he was trying say.

George placed his hand on mine, and I felt sparks at our touch, "I thought you weren't coming back, and I was so depressed. I needed someone to make me feel better, and Pattie was there."

"I told you I was coming back George," I said quietly, "I told that I just needed time to think."

"That's another thing. Do you know how hard it is when the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, the love of your life, tells you that she might love someone else? And it makes it worse when that someone is your band mate. I know you dated John before, but he hurt you. I was never going to hurt you," George sighed, "I don't understand. You never answered the phone or returned my calls. You didn't call me on my birthday. I thought we were over, you made it seem that way."

"George, I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry I pushed you away. My mother was dying, and she couldn't even get out of bed by herself. I had to cook, clean, help her around, even bathe her. She was so weak in her final months George," I told him thinking about how sad mom looked after we finished watching the news the day she died, "I thought you were going to come after me."

There was an overwhelming amount of silence that filled the room for a good five minutes.

"You know how I found out about you and Pattie? The news, the news, George. I sat there and watched my fiancé kissing another woman, his new wife. I went outside to cry, and when I came back an hour and half later, my mother was dead in the recliner. Dead!"

George brought me into his arms as I began to sob heavily. I hoped he felt like absolute crap for the way I felt. He rubbed my back and just comforted me with silence like he use to do when were together.

"Sasha," he whispered, "I wish I could just be yours again. But Pattie, I think that I'm actually in love with her. I know you don't want to hear it, but just remember that I'll always love you."

I stood up in front of the couch still crying softly, and took off George's engagement ring. I had worn it all this time, and that should've told George something. I looked down at my naked left hand ring finger. I looked at the ring in my right hand and put it into George's palm and closed his hand.

I walked out of the room silently. I didn't look back because I thought that if I did and George was standing there then I would run into his arms once last time. I walked back into the studio area, and without talking to anyone picked up my purse and left the studio.

When I got outside, it was sunny, and I soon realized that I didn't have car or a place to stay. I sat on the front steps of Abbey Road studios and cried silently until I heard the door open and close behind me.

John sat down next to me and put his arm around me, "It'll be alright, love. I'm always here for you."

I cried into John's shirt making it wet in one spot. He sang to me quietly to make me feel better.

I looked up at him, "I feel so lost and alone John. I have nowhere to stay."

"You can stay with me," John told me.

Without saying anything, I stood up and followed John to his car. When we pulled up to Kenwood, it was everything I remembered. The grounds were so beautiful and almost romantic.

John took my things upstairs and told me to sit on the couch and make myself at home. I had only been inside Kenwood one other time; it was for a party that John threw for the Beatles' success. I didn't notice all the pictures before. There were pictures of John and Cynthia, some with Julian, and some of John and Mimi.

John came back down the stairs, "Are you hungry? I was going to warm up some pasta I made the other night."

I followed John to the kitchen, "What kind of pasta?"

"I made penne with alfredo sauce and chicken," he explained, getting a big tubberware bowl out of the refrigerator.

"Sounds delicious," I said sitting on a barstool at the center island in the kitchen.

John poured the pasta into a pan on the stove to warm it up. He added a splash of milk to it and mozzarella cheese so it would taste fresh. I watched him get out two wine glasses and a bottle of red wine. He poured some and handed a glass to me.

When the pasta was done, John split it onto two plates and took it to the table. I went over to sit down, and he sat in front of me.

"I want you to know that I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"For what?" I asked taking a bite of pasta, "This is delicious."

"Thank you," he laughed and then was serious again, "For pushing you away from George. I know how much you loved him."

"Wow," I said looking at him.

"What?"

"John Lennon's actually apologizing," I said smirking.

He smiled, "Shut up."

I sighed, "I do love George, but if he really loved me the way I loved him, then he would've waited for me to come back. And it's better this way."

John looked up, "Why?"

"Because now I get to be with the person I really belong with."

John smiled at me and continued eating. That's all he ever wanted to hear me say, that I belonged with him.

After dinner, I followed John upstairs to the bedroom.

"I hope you don't mind sharing a bed with me," John said pointing to my suitcases in the corner of the room, "I just figured you would probably end up here anyway."

"I don't mind. Thank you for letting me stay here," I said.

John hugged me, "I would let you stay here anytime."

I pulled away from him, "Can I use your shower?"

"Sure, just go in that door right there," he said pointing to a door on the opposite side of the room, "I'll be waiting out here."

I walked in the bathroom and shut the door behind me. After my shower, I wrapped a towel around my body and towel dried my hair with another one. I brushed through my hair to get all the tangles out. I got done brushing my hair as soon as John walked into the bathroom.

He looked at me, and I suddenly felt very exposed standing in front of him in just a towel. He brought me into his arms and kissed my lips softly. I felt the towel fall off of me as he kissed up and down my neck. He ran his hands up and down my body when the towel had hit the floor.

He led me into the bedroom and undressed quickly while I lay on the bed. He climbed over top of me and began to make love to me. I realized then how much I missed John's touch, and that maybe, I had loved him the most after all.


	45. Chapter 45: How You Get The Girl

**Something**

 **Chapter 45: How You Get The Girl**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **April 3, 1966**

The phone ringing woke me up. I looked around at the master bedroom of Kenwood. John was no longer beside me. I guessed that he had already gone to the studio.

"Hello?" I said, picking up the phone from the bedside table.

A familiar voice sounded from the other line, "Sasha, I'm glad you answered. John told me you would probably still be sleeping."

"Morning, Brian. How have you been?" I replied to him. As silly as it sounded, I had even missed Brian. He had become a great friend of mine throughout all of this fame nonsense.

He sighed into the phone, "Just fine and very busy. Anyway, I just wanted to say sorry about your mother and everything that's happened really. We missed you while you were away."

"Thanks," I replied, "It's good to be back."

Brian paused for a few moments, "Listen, Sasha, you're not going to like what I'm about to say. I've spoken to the label several times, and they keep reminding me that you signed a contract to release one album every July. They've given me a deadline for production."

"Oh," I said, "I honestly forgot about that."

"It's quite alright. I tried to get them to extend, but they wouldn't budge. They always count on your July album release. The fans do as well."

"Sure," I exhaled. I could feel the stress growing in my body, "When's the deadline?"

Brian took another dramatic pause, "We leave for the tour, which you're expected to be on, on the 22nd of June. They want the album finished by or on the 21st."

"You're saying that they want me to write, record, and mix an entire album in two and half months when I usually have a year."

"Sasha, darling, please don't freak out. I know you can do it," Brian assured me.

I sighed, "I did finish a couple songs before I left. What happens if I don't finish it?"

"Well, quite frankly, they'll terminate your record contract."

My face dropped. It really was me against the world these days, "Thanks Brian. I'll be at the studio tomorrow to record some demos."

"Alright, bye now Sasha," he said, "And don't worry."

The other line clicked when Brian hung up. I rose from the bed and went downstairs to find breakfast. After breakfast, I picked up my guitar and finished a couple of songs that I had started. This deadline was going to kill me.

The sun had set, and John still wasn't home. I knew he would be late at the studio, so I decided to take a bath. I poured myself a glass of wine and relaxed in the bath.

The door creaked open, and John sat down on the floor beside the bathtub.

"Paul brought your things to the studio today," John started the conversation.

I looked at him, "What things?"

He sighed and grabbed my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine, "All of your belongings. A couple weeks before George married Pattie, he packed all of your things up and took them to Paul's house. The boxes are in my car."

I exhaled and laid my head against the tile behind the bath.

John started stroking my hand with his thumb, "What's wrong?"

"Brian called me today. I have to finish my next album in two and half months or the label will terminate my record contract."

"Look at me," he commanded, "You'll be fine Sasha. You write songs faster than anyone I've ever seen. Besides, you've got a few that you did before you left. Don't worry so much."

I smiled at him and pulled the drain on the bath. John rose from the floor and handed me a towel as I climbed out of the bath. He brought me into his arms and rubbed my back slightly. A wave of emotions came over me as I had a shocking realization. Here we were, almost six years since the disaster in Hamburg, holding each other. I knew that both us were different people from the young, naïve teenagers that set off to Hamburg. I knew that we would have to relearn one another even if we knew that our love was strong and real.

I pulled away from his arms and slipped on one of his dress shirts to sleep in.

"We can move your things in tomorrow night. I only have to be at the studio until dinner time," John suggested as he followed me from the bathroom.

I sat down on the bed, "I'm moving in?"

"I want you to," he sat down next to me, "You don't have to, you know, but it would be nice to have the one I love here with me in this big house."

I kissed him softly, "What are we, John? We haven't talked about it."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. Are we lovers? Are we serious? Is marriage in question?"

John kissed me, "Sasha, I've wanted to marry you since I laid eyes on you. We'll have to give it time though. We've grown a lot since the last time we were romantically involved, you know, just us."

I smiled weakly, "I'm tired. Will you hold me close?"

"Anytime at all," he told me.

John and I got under the covers and slept as close to one another as we possibly could. I did love him. I loved him more than anything, and honestly, it felt amazing to admit that to myself again.

 **June 26, 1966**

Hamburg.

Here I was again in this dreadful city. This time I was coming back with John on my arm, however. I never thought I would live to see the day. I looked out the window of the big car we traveling to the hotel in at the city that held so many memories, most of them bad. John was sitting next to me. He placed his hand on mine and stroked it with his thumb. I think he sensed that this was weird for me. I wondered if it was as weird for him.

After the show that night, we were sitting in the dressing room waiting for the car to take us to the hotel when a couple familiar faces walked in.

"ASTRID!" I yelled, hugging her.

I hadn't seen Astrid in a couple of years. The last time I saw her was when she photographed the Beatles during their first film. Klaus was standing behind her. I hugged him and wished that Stu was here as well.

She smiled at me, "The show was fabulous! I loved every minute of it. I always knew that you guys would become this big."

We all talked with Astrid and Klaus for an hour or so before going back to the hotel. We laughed and shared some of the hilarious and good memories from our first Hamburg adventure. We talked about Stu. We talked about how young we all were. It was nice.

John decided to stay a bit longer with Astrid and Klaus, and so I left in the car with the other Beatles. When I got to our hotel room, I was surprised at the sight of it. The room was fancy, and I honestly couldn't believe that there was a hotel like this in Hamburg considering the living arrangements I've stayed in during past visits. More importantly, there was a bouquet of roses, a box of chocolates, and an envelope on the bed. I picked up the envelope and read John's handwriting on the front, "for the woman I love more than anything."

I tore open the envelope as fast I could and read over the note he had written me.

 _'I Lost the Girl in Hamburg, and I Got The Girl Back in Hamburg'_

 _It's been a crazy ride for nearly ten years (Christ, are we that old?)_

 _I have loved you every second of it, and I have regretted never properly getting you back,_

 _So tonight, I am getting you back, for real_

 _Sasha, love,_

 _I want you for worse or for better_

 _I want you forever and ever_

 _I broke your heart_

 _I'll put it back together_

 _I would wait forever and ever_

 _It's been a long six months since you left in December_

 _I spent every day hoping you would come back so we could work everything out_

 _I hope you know that for me, it has always been you_

 _I know we've been talking a lot about where we're going with this relationship_

 _The first step, as you know, is going steady_

 _So, tonight, would you be mine?_

 _Let's go steady, just like the old days_

 _Forever and Always_

 _John_

I wiped a tear from my cheek as I finished his note. He was so sweet, sweeter than I thought. I admired how he wanted to take things one step at a time. I held the note close me. I would cherish it forever.

I felt hands on my shoulders and turned to face him, "John, I…"

"All you need to tell me is that you'll be mine again, for real. Start this relationship over with me, and this time we'll do it right," he sat down next to me.

"Of course, John," I told him before kissing him sweetly.

He got up and walked over to the table in the room, "Great, let's crack this open."

I smiled. I hadn't noticed the bottle of champagne on the table. He popped the cork and poured two glasses. He handed me a glass and sat next to me again.

"I can't believe we're here, in Hamburg, together again," John said, "I was such an idiot back then."

"I don't want to talk about how we ended, John," I told him, "We're starting anew, remember?"

He lied back against the pillows on the bed and motioned for me to lay back in his arms. We sat together for what seemed like hours, just in silence. I could hear it in the silence, I was in love.

"Sasha," John reached in his pocket and pulled out an envelope, "Astrid gave this to me. She said you left it at her house four years ago. It's Stu's last letter to you."

Tears came to my eyes, "I don't know if I can read it, John."

"You need to," he told me, "I'm going to take a shower before bed. You read it while I'm in the shower."

John got off the bed, leaving Stu's letter. He went into the bathroom and shut the door. I stared at the letter. I really did need to read it, but knowing that it was written the day before he died made it eerie. I was afraid of what he would say in the letter. I took a deep breath and opened it. With each word, my eyes grew cloudier and cloudier.

 _9 April 1962_

 _Dearest Sasha,_

 _I miss you so very much. I'm glad to hear that you're doing okay with George and your job at the record store. I'm not doing the best. It is very hard to write this letter. I'm just having a bad day, I think. I miss painting. I haven't been able to do it for as long as I used to. I am afraid that I am dying. I've been to more doctors, they don't know what's wrong with me. I probably won't be able to write anymore letters, so when you get this, call the number I gave you. We'll have to have phone conversations instead._

 _If I die before then, I want you to know some things that have been on my mind about you. Firstly, I love you dearly, and I don't regret anything about our relationship. In fact, I wish you were here in bed with me right now. Second, I need you to promise me a couple of things. You need to promise me that you will start playing music again. You are the most talented person I have ever met, and I don't want it to go to waste. Also, I know that it is your passion, just as painting is mine. It makes your face light up with a joy that is so rare in people nowadays._

 _You might be mad at me for the next thing I'm making you promise, but I need it to be so. Please, please, please, wherever you are, get up and tell John that you love him. I know you're with George, and you are happy and in love. You need to be with John. Looking at you two makes me believe that he is your soulmate and you are his. It's very cliché, but it reminds me of how Astrid lights up my nighttime sky. That's what you do to John. I know. He tells me every time I speak to him that he still loves you. Even if it's not soon, please end up with him. Pick up where you left off. Forget and forgive what has happened in the past. Have the life that the two of you used to dream of together. I know that it's hard. John is a complicated man. He is self-centered, yet at the same time he is always a loyal friend. A frustrated and misunderstood child not given its due need of affection ends in a man without roots. In rebellion and bewilderment, almost embittered, this is John, and you love him. I know for a fact that he is your whole world._

 _Don't lie to yourself anymore, Sasha. Go to him. Tell him to forget the past. Tell him you don't hate him. Tell him you love him. Tell him that you ache to be with him again. Tell him that you love him so much it hurts. Tell him that you wish to spend the rest of your life with him. Please do this for me._

 _I will talk to you soon._

 _Love, Stu._

I couldn't see anything by the end of the letter. Tears were rolling down my cheeks. I didn't want to think about the eerie fact that it seemed like Stu was talking to me from the grave. I loved him. I missed him. I wish I could talk to him about everything. I knew that this was what he wanted. This is what I had wanted all along, after all. Stu was right, as always, about everything.

I changed into my pajamas, and laid the letter on the bedside table. I lied down underneath the blankets and brought my knees up to my chest. I cried myself to sleep for the first time in six months

"Sasha," I heard John whisper.

I turned to look at him lying in bed next to me, "What time is it?"

"I don't know," he had a strange look on his face, "You're my best friend, you know."

I snuggled into his arms, "I love you."

I knew it. He was in love. I felt the way Stu had described in the letter. I wondered if he was looking down on us, proudly. I wondered he was behind all of this, actually. I closed my eyes and felt John's arms tighten around me. Thank you, Stuart.


	46. Chapter 46: Stay Stay Stay

**Something**

 **Chapter 46: Stay Stay Stay**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **September 1, 1966**

John exhaled loudly as he plopped down on the couch next to me in front of the roaring fire. He lit a cigarette and sipped his scotch and coke slowly. I had a glass of crimson wine to relax with after a long tour.

"I'm glad that's over," John spoke, "If one more person asked me about that whole Jesus thing, it would have been the last thing they asked about."

I laughed quietly to myself, "It was a stressful tour. I'll miss the performing though."

Because of all the stress we had endured on this tour, we had decided that it was time to move on from the touring scene and just focus on music. I wasn't lying. I really would miss touring, but John was right. Touring was just a distraction from the actual music, the thing we cared about in the first place. We had quickly learned this year that the fame we had dreamed of as teenagers wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

I felt John's warm lips on my neck, "I love you, mama."

"I love you too, John," I sighed, "My exhaustion is catching up with me."

John kissed my lips softly, "Don't get too tired. I have some tricks up my sleeve for the first night back in our own bed."

I grinned at him, "Does one of the tricks include you giving me a massage?"

"If you want," he replied, smirking.

I kissed him. It seemed like everything was falling perfectly into place. John and I were finally at the point in our relationship where we were completely comfortable around each other again. I had missed that.

"Cynthia's bringing Julian tomorrow," I reminded him.

He sighed, "Yeah, and then in a few weeks, me and you are off to Spain to shoot the film."

John had accepted a role in a film that Dick Lester was directing. I knew that he was excited about it. I was excited to see more of his acting skills.

John put his cigarette in the ashtray on the coffee table and yawned loudly, "Let's head to bed, love."

I nodded and followed John up the stairs. We cuddled and kissed for a while, but before things could get serious, we both succumbed to the exhaustion and lack of sleep from the tour.

The doorbell rang, waking me up. John was still snoring beside me. I slowly removed myself from his arms and made my way to the front door. I opened it to find Cynthia and Julian. I hadn't seen either of them since before I left.

"Hello," Cynthia greeted me when I couldn't find the words to say, "I brought Julian. I'll pick him up in about nine days so you and John can head to Spain."

"Okay," I said.

Julian emerged from behind Cynthia's legs and gave me a hug when I leaned down to his level, "Hello Sasha."

"Hi Julian," I kissed the top of his head, "You're getting so big."

I heard Cynthia's voice, "Jules, go sit on the couch while I talk to Sasha."

I was nervous as I watched Julian walk to the couch, "Cynthia, I…"

Just then, she surprised me when she brought me into a hug, "First of all, I'm sorry about your mother."

"Thank you," I said quietly. I could feel tears coming, but I couldn't let them fall.

She sighed as she pulled away from the hug, "Listen, Sasha. I'm not mad at you. I understand why things are the way they are. John loves you like I love him. I see the way he looks at you. I honestly wish you and him all the best. I think you would be a great step-mum to Jules, as well."

I hugged her again, "I'm sorry, Cynthia. Thank you so much for saying that to me."

"Well, I've got to go now," she said.

"Bye," I said as she walked down the sidewalk.

I closed the front door after I watched her leave. I turned to find Julian laughing. John was walking slowly down the stairs, clearing exaggerating. His hair was terribly disheveled.

He was walking slowly up to Julian until he abruptly perked up and picked up Julian, tickling him. I smiled as I watched them together. I thought back to the time when I wanted so desperately to marry John and be the mother of his children.

"Let's have some fun today, Jude," John said as he tickled Julian.

Julian was roaring with laughter, "Okay, daddy."

 **October 10, 1966**

"Strawberry Fields Forever," John's scratchy morning voice finished singing the song that he had been working on since we got to Spain.

He started playing different chords on the guitar to find the right combination for the song. He was sat Indian style on the bed with the guitar in his lap, and I was gazing out the window at the scenery. It was beautiful here in Spain. I was glad that John had invited me to come with him whilst he shot the film out here.

"Mama?" I heard him saying quietly.

I looked back at him and grinned, "Yes John?"

He rose from the bed and sat next to me on the couch. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck. I leaned into his chest, enjoying the comfort and warmth that his body brought me.

"What are you thinking?" He questioned.

I sighed, "Just things. I'm thinking about how crazy my life has been. I'm thinking about us."

"What about us?"

I sat up from his embrace and faced him, "Is this going to work?"

John grabbed my hands in his, "Sasha, I love you so much. I'm all yours now. We don't have to worry about it anymore. Everything fell back into place perfectly. This is what real love is supposed to be like."

I gave him a small grin, "I'm terrified of it ending again."

"It's not going to," he hugged me, "Why would it? We worked so hard to get here."

I let him hold me for a few moments. I was astounded by this situation. I never would've thought that I would be held by John as mine again.

"John?"

He pulled away, "What love?"

I exhaled, "This is going to sound crazy, but I really want to get a place in New York. Somewhere we can retreat to and not be bothered."

"I think that's a great idea," he kissed me softly, "I have something crazy to say as well."

"What?" I smirked at him.

I watched as John reached his hand in the pocket of his trousers and pulled out a beautiful ring. I felt tears surface on my eyes. That couldn't be the kind of ring that I thought it was.

"I never properly got you one of these, Sasha," John said, studying the shiny diamond ring.

He looked up at me and smiled, "Will you marry me?"

"Yes," I exhaled, "Yes, John, I will."

John slipped the ring on my finger and kissed me, "It looks quite good on you. Listen, we don't have to get married now, but we will when you're ready. I just wanted to make sure that everyone knew that you were mine."

"The ring is beautiful," I commented while admiring it.

"Your brother helped me pick it out," I looked up at him, "We did a little ring shopping on the tour. He may or may not be proposing to Jane on Christmas, but don't tell her, it's a surprise."

I squealed, "Oh, Jane will be over the moon!"

John smirked at me and brought me into a passionate kiss. As I sat there kissing him, I couldn't fathom how lucky I was to have John back in my heart.


	47. Chapter 47: A Day in the Life

**Something**

 **Chapter 47: A Day in the Life**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **March 9, 1967**

"Yes, Miss McCartney, we will send you the keys to your new apartment. Thank you again for purchasing with us," the real estate agent said to me from the other line.

I said thank you and bid him a farewell as I hung up the phone. I had just finalized an apartment in Manhattan for me and John. It was in Tribeca, and I knew John would love it once he saw the pictures that had been sent to me in the mail earlier this week. He had been so busy in the studio lately as the record company's deadline date approached for the Beatles' next record. I had released a song in February called 'Back to December'. I was planning on playing it in the Beatles' next film, which they promised I could participate in.

I took another swig of wine and looked at the clock on the mantel. It was half eleven. John should be home any time now.

A pounding on the front door pulled me out of my thoughts.

I opened it to reveal Paul with his arm around John, who was almost slouched over.

"Paul, what's wrong with him?" I questioned.

John started singing a pub song loudly and swinging his arms about. His words were so slurred together that I couldn't make up what he was saying exactly.

Paul sighed and dragged John past me and to the couch, "As you can see, we went to the pub, and he may be tripping as well."

My eyes widened, "You let him take LSD and drink. Paul those are both downers, he could be dead by now."

"Listen, Sasha, he told me that the acid had worn off by the time we went to the pub, but I think he popped another pill while we were there."

Unfortunately, the boys had discovered drugs. One of them being acid, and John was particularly fond of this one. Sometimes he would take a trip four times a week. He made me try it once, but it made me so sick the next day that I haven't been able to build up the courage to try it again.

I sighed, "Was he tripping in the studio? There's no way you can work on that stuff."

"I know," Paul said, "He accidently took the wrong pill. He meant to take the upper instead."

I sighed, "Go home, Paul. Get some rest."

"Are you coming to the studio tomorrow to see what we've been working on. John said he was going to ask you."

"I suppose I can," I said, "Goodnight Paul."

I watched as Paul left through the front door. I gathered John up from the couch in my arms and helped him up to the bedroom. I stripped him for bed and climbed in next to him. He had calmed down quite a bit since he first came.

I wrapped my arm around his chest and snuggled close to him, "I love you, John."

"Love you to," he slurred.

I was scared. I didn't like the drugs for a few reasons. They were dangerous, of course, but they reminded me of Hamburg. That's the reason John turned on me, after all, and I couldn't let it happen again.

 **July 26, 1967**

I looked out across the water to the island in Greece that the Beatles were thinking about purchasing. Someone told them that it was a good investment, and I thought it was actually quite funny that they were even considering purchasing an island. I had Julian sitting in my lap. He had come along with me and John to Greece, mostly because it was John's turn to have Julian. We had been on this boat all day, and the festivities from our first week in Greece were catching up to me. I giggled quietly at some of the great times we had had since being here. I knew that I wasn't Julian's real mother, but I felt like we were a little family. A lady at a restaurant in Athens had even complimented John and I on our cute son, which made John laugh out loud. I think he secretly liked me being mistaken for Julian's mom, though. I yawned as I watched the sun begin to move lower in the sky.

"Sasha," a small voice said.

"Yes, Julian?" I looked down at him. It still amazed me how much he looked like John. He was only four years old, but his resemblance to his father was incredible.

He touched my hand with his small one and looked into my eyes, "Do you love daddy?"

I giggled at his question. He was so young. He had no idea what love meant.

I smiled at him, "Yes, Julian. I love your daddy very much."

"I want you to be my new mummy," he confessed.

I laughed out loud this time, "Julian, your mommy is your mommy, not me. I may be with your daddy now instead of her, but she will also be your mom. I can be you step-mom."

"Can you?"

I smiled at him, "Well, you'll have to tell your daddy to marry me, so I can be."

He grinned and looked out at the ocean. I felt someone sit down beside me. I felt a pair of lips on my neck.

I looked over to find John opening a beer, "Hello, mister. What brings you over?"

"I missed me girl," he replied.

Julian realized John was sitting beside us and looked up at him, "Daddy?"

"Yes son?" John smiled at him. I loved watching him with Julian. Around me, John was an amazing father, but Jane had told me that when Cynthia was around, he was completely different with Julian.

"You love Sasha, don't you?" Julian asked him. I think I knew where he was going with this.

John took a swig of beer, "I love Sasha more than anything."

"Good," Julian said, "Now you can marry her, and she can be my step-mum."

John let out a loud laugh, "I'm planning on marrying her, Julian," he looked at me, "We just need to find the time to get married and go off and have a few weeks of alone time."

He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively causing me to laugh, "I love you."

John kissed me playfully, "I love you more."

 **August 27, 1967**

"I'm ready to get out of Wales, Sasha. All this meditating is making me exhausted," John complained.

"Meditating is making you exhausted?" I questioned, "I guess it doesn't work for you then."

John made his way over to me and grabbed my arm. He pulled me down on the bed with him, "I know what works better than anything that Maharishi could prescribe."

"And what's that, Mr. Lennon?" I smirked at him.

John kissed me seductively, "I think you know."

He deepened our kiss and brought his hand to my thigh. The next thing I knew, he was trailing his fingers up my skirt. I placed my hand on the zipper of his trousers and massaged him through the fabric.

He pulled away from our kiss and pushed me down on the bed. He hovered over me before pushing my skirt up and pulling my panties down my legs in one swift motion. I moaned as he mouth made contact with my flesh.

John stopped when we heard a knock on the door and groaned, "Bloody hell."

He slowly walked over to the door as I pulled my panties up again. George, Paul, and Ringo were at the door with a sad look on each of their faces as they asked to come in.

I stood to greet them, but none of them would look me in the eye.

Paul sighed, "John, Sasha, you two might want to sit down."

John and I sat down on the bed. The boys were standing in front of us looking down at the shag carpet.

"Alright, stop being so bloody dramatic and get on with it. Sasha and I were in the middle of something," John urged.

"John," Ringo said sadly, "this is serious."

Paul exhaled, "This morning Derick Taylor went over to Brian's flat. Brian passed away last night."

"No," I whispered, "Please no."

John brought me into his arms as I began to cry for Brian. I knew that Brian had been depressed for about a year, but I hoped that it wasn't suicide. I had told him after he attempted it at the beginning of the year that John and I would always be there for him.

I heard John speak as I sobbed into his chest, "What are we going to do? Eppy did everything for us."

"We don't know," I heard Ringo say, "None of us know the first thing about being managers."

"Well, we have a meeting with the label in a couple of weeks to discuss the future," Paul said, "Come on boys, let's leave John and Sasha alone for now."

I heard them shuffle out of the room. I held John tighter.

"What are we going to do?" I sobbed into his chest.

"It's alright, Sasha," John rubbed my back, "We'll figure something out."

John didn't convince me though, because I don't think he was entirely convinced that everything would be alright himself.


	48. Chapter 48: Magical Mystery Tour

**Something**

 **Chapter 48: Magical Mystery Tour**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **September 1, 1967**

I felt warm arms snake around my waist as I stood stirring a pot of soup at the stove in the kitchen. His hot kisses up the back of my neck almost brought me out of my deep thoughts. He rested his chin on my shoulder and inhaled my scent and the scent of the soup deeply.

"I missed you today, mama," his hot, cigarette-scented breath tickled my ear, "Meetings are hell without you."

I turned to face him. When I turned around, his lips met mine, and he brought me into a well needed hug. I sighed next to his neck as he held me, "What's happening, John?"

"What do you mean?" He pulled away, a concerned look plastered on his face.

I sighed again and looked down at the ground, "With the band, with me, with us, with everything. I feel so overwhelmed, and Brian's death didn't help matters."

I hadn't noticed that a tear had fell from my eye until John's thumb brushed across my face, "Turn the soup off, and we'll eat later. Come sit with me."

I switched the burner off on the stove and let John grab my hand and lead me to the couch in the living room. I snuggled into his arms, and he held me close.

"Everything will be alright," he rubbed my arm, "Today, we decided that we would try and manage ourselves until we find someone better. We mainly talked about the film, though. It's going to be about a group of people going on some kind of a bus tour across the country. I don't really know, but Paul thought of it. We want you to be in it as well."

I looked up at him, "You mean it?"

"Yes, of course. I'm not going away for two weeks without you anyway," he paused, "Have you thought about your career after Brian anymore?"

I laid my head back down on his chest and took a deep breath, "I'm not doing country music anymore, John."

"What?" He sat up slightly, "But that's your passion."

I looked at him, "Yeah, but it's not anymore. I've changed a lot in the past few years, John. I liked some of the more pop songs that I did on the last couple of albums. I think I want to do a whole record like that. George Martin could help me produce, and you could too. I could manage myself unless I found someone that I really got along with."

John kissed my lips softly, "You know I'll stand by you, whatever you choose."

"I love you, John," I kissed him again.

John smiled at me, "Forever and always."

I hugged him tight. He hasn't said those three words to me in a long time, and they sounded like heaven falling from his lips.

 **September 13, 1967**

I stretched out as I got into bed in the small hotel room that was our home for the night. We were a couple days into filming this interesting new film that the boys were working on. I was in it as well. I got to ride on the bus and be in a few scenes. The fun we were having reminded me of the early days, and I was enjoying it immensely. I thought of John and how much closer we had become since getting together again last year. I hoped that this time it actually lasted. I felt as if I was finally over George. Besides, he looked happy with Pattie anyway. John was the love of my life, and I was extremely happy to finally call him mine.

John stormed into the room after I had gotten comfortable causing me to sit up quickly, "John, what's wrong?"

He kicked the nightstand with his boot causing the lamp to fall and break, "Shit."

I knew he was drunk. I pulled the covers back and stood from the bed. He was pacing back and forth letting slurred obscenities fall from his mouth. I placed my hands on his shoulders to stop his pacing. I searched his eyes. I knew there was more than alcohol in his system.

"John, listen to me," I said slowly, "You need to tell me what's going on."

He opened and closed his eyes lethargically, "I went to the pub with the boys."

"Did you do anything other than drink?" I asked.

He grinned and tried to shake my grip, but I wouldn't budge, "Mama, don't worry about me. You should be worried about the poor sod I beat outside the pub. Everyone left. It was just me and him fighting it out."

"You got into a fight?" I was concerned now. It was no secret that John was extremely violent when drunk, "Why did you fight him?"

John sat down on the bed, "He asked me about you. He said he loves you."

"John, tell me who you fought with," I said getting impatient.

He looked up at me with an evil grin and glazed eyes, "George."

"Stay here," I told him as I ran from the room.

Fear coursed through my veins as I ran and looked for the pub. I hoped that George wasn't hurt too badly. I found the pub next to the hotel, and sure enough, in the alley, laid an intoxicated and bloodied George.

"George," I tried to sound calm as I approached him.

He looked up at me with those beautiful chocolate eyes, "Sasha. I'm sorry. I just told John to take care of you, that's all."

I knelt down beside him and wrapped my arm around his waist to help him stand, "Come back to the hotel."

George and I slowly made our way back to the hotel. I asked him his room number and he told me. As we slowly climbed the stairs, I thought about what we used to have with each other. I did love George, but I was not entirely sure if I was in love with him still. I would deny it if I was though. There was no way I was going to go through the same thing again, just switched, with George and John.

I helped him into his room, and I sat down on the edge of the bed with him.

"I never stopped loving you, you know," he said quietly.

I sighed, "George, I know you love me. You're sweet, and I can't hurt you again. I hurt you more than I thought I was, and I'm so sorry, but I can't do this. I'm with John now, and we're very in love."

"I know," he rubbed his forehead, "I care about you. I don't want to see you get hurt. John could hurt you again. You know that right?"

"I'm aware, but that's something that needed built up again. Our trust for each other didn't come back over night."

George looked into my eyes, "But I love you so much."

George face inched closer to mine, and before I could think, his lips were moving with mine.

After we kissed he held me for a few more moments. Being in his arms again brought back so many memories. His all to familiar scent was filling my nose. Cigarettes and slept-in cologne that was now mixed with the smell of alcohol on his breath and the blood on his face. I sighed and held him tighter.

He whispered, his breath tickling my ear, "I love you so much. More than you'll ever know."

He pulled away from our embrace. I got lost in his dark chocolate eyes as he searched my eyes for an answer or something, but I wasn't going to let him know what I was really thinking. I suppose I had learned this defense mechanism from John. I think I did love George. It was the same thing that I had with John. George and I, like my relationship with John, simply ended. There was no goodbye, no closure. How can I get rid of my feelings for George when I had never really dismissed them in the first place? I really couldn't go there again, though, not to the land of indecision and heartbreak like what happened a few years ago. I had to do what I knew to do best, I had to run. I had to get as far away from George as possible.

Before I could make a run for it, his face got closer to mine. His lips meshed with mine, and it was a long time before I gained the courage and want to pull away and run.

I pulled away quickly and stood, "I have to go."

I left the room and ran down the hallway. As I started to descend the stairs to get to mine and John's room, I heard George's voice calling me back. I wanted to turn around, and I almost did.

 **Author's Note:Thank you so much to everyone that's reading. I hope you're enjoying the story so far. Let me know what you think!  
**


	49. Chapter 49: Happiness is a Warm Gun

**Something**

 **Chapter 49: Happiness is a Warm Gun**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **March 2, 1968**

I gripped John's warm hand, my fingers intertwined with his as we walked into the registrar's office in London.

The plump man behind the counter looked up at us after John had cleared his throat to get the man's attention, "May I help you?"

I looked at John nervously. He spoke, imitating the man's Queen's English accent, "We'd like to apply for a marriage license and set a wedding date here at the courthouse."

"Very well," the man replied, "wait here, I'll be back with the papers."

I smiled widely as the man looked away, "I can't believe we're finally setting a date, John."

"I've been waiting almost eleven years for this, mama," John said before kissing me.

We waited for the man to come back with the papers, and I let my mind wander. I couldn't believe we were actually setting a date. We would be married on October 15th this year. We were waiting for the Beatles to get done with their record, so we could have a long and proper honeymoon. John was right, we had been waiting almost eleven years for this moment. I knew it was right. I knew that John was the one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But then I thought of George. We hadn't spoken since he kissed me during the filming of Magical Mystery Tour. I've tried to get him out of my head, but my mind wanders to him every time I don't have anything else to think about.

"Sasha?" John's voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Hmm?"

John grinned, "The man wants you to sign to confirm our appointment date."

I nodded and grabbed the pen. I signed next to John's name and set the pen down on the table.

The man behind the desk spoke again, "On the date of your appointment, you will both report here, and we'll get you married."

"Thanks," John said.

We walked out hand-in-hand into the sun and then into the black car that was waiting for us. I cuddled next to John on the way home.

"Can you believe we just set our wedding date?" John said.

I smiled up at him, "Finally."

He chuckled and kissed my lips. October was still far away, and I hoped we could hold on until then.

 **May 4, 1968**

The knocking on the door got louder as I rushed from the kitchen where I was making dinner for John when he got back from the studio.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," I said under my breath as I got closer to the door.

I opened the door to reveal a short Asian-looking woman with frizzy black hair and a very odd outfit. It looked like a long trench coat over black jeans and a black sweater. She blinked at me.

"Can I help you?" I said breaking the silence.

She grinned creepily, "Is John here?"

Her Japanese accent was heavy, and it confused me as to why a person like this was looking for John.

"Well," I said, "He's at the studio."

She sighed, "Will he be back?"

"He should be home in a few minutes for dinner," I told her.

She smiled again. It was really creeping me out. "Can I wait for him here?"

I sighed, "Listen, not to be rude, but I don't know who are or how you know John, but…"

"My name is Yoko Ono," she interrupted me, "I have some art exhibits that John has seen a couple of times down at the art gallery that Paul used to sponsor. He said I could talk to him about sponsoring one of my pieces for charity."

I thought for a few moments. John had been going to art shows again since last year, and I had noticed that he had started to draw some things again as well.

Her eyes pleaded me, and if John had met her before, I had to give in, "Alright. Come inside."

She followed me into the kitchen and sat down at the table, "This is a nice house."

"Thanks," I smiled, "Can I get you a cup of tea or anything?"

"No, I'm okay," she replied.

A long pause happened, and I decided to resume cooking dinner for John. I heard the woman stand and walk closer to me.

She cleared her throat, "How long have you and John been together?"

I was taken aback. Why was this strange woman asking me these personal questions?

"I was just asking because I noticed that beautiful engagement ring on your finger, and John mentioned how much you would enjoy the art gallery at the last show," she explained.

"Oh," I stopped stirring the soup I was working on, "We've been together now for two years, but we dated for three years back in the fifties. It's been a little complicated between the two of us."

"Like how?" she pushed.

I let out a sigh, "Um, we started seeing other people, but quickly realized that what we had wanted all along was each other."

Yoko smiled at me, "That's beautiful. I might use that story for a piece if that's alright."

"Sure," I offered.

Just then I heard the door open, and John called out, "Sasha, love, I'm home."

I greeted him at the entrance of the kitchen. He brought me into a tight embrace with his head buried in my neck.

I felt his hand on my butt and his lips on my neck, "Whatever you're cooking smells like heaven, and I can't wait you get you out of this dress after dinner."

"We have company," I whispered, smiling.

I felt John's head lift from my neck, "Oh, Yoko, what're you doing here?"

She was looking at the floor awkwardly after witnessing that little conversation between me and John, "I came to talk about the sponsorship."

John walked past me a bit, "Listen, I've been working all week, and I feel like I haven't spent time with Sasha in a while. Why don't we meet tomorrow at the coffee shop by the art gallery at 6:30 to talk?"

She blushed and let out a giggle, which I thought was odd, "Okay, John, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."

She hurried out of the kitchen, and I heard the front door shut before I made my way to the stove to pour the soup into bowls. John arms snaked around me and turned me around to face him.

John grinned, "I think she's in love with me."

I laughed out loud at the thought, "Why do you think that?"

"She giggles and blushes like a school girl with a crush every time I speak to her."

I smiled and caressed his cheek with my hand, "I guess you just have that effect on women."

John began kissing me, making me weak at the knees. Every kiss was still like our first one, even eleven years later.

"I've. Missed. You. So. Much," he said in between kisses.

"Don't worry," I smirked, "After dinner, you can show me how much you've missed me."

"Cheeky," he smacked my bum playfully before plopping down in the kitchen chair.

 **The next day**

 **John's POV**

I walked into the coffee shop by the art gallery at ten minutes until seven. I was fashionably late in true John style. I spotted Yoko from across the room and walked to greet her. She was sketching something on a napkin and humming in an off-key kind of way. She was an odd bird.

I opened my mouth to say hello, but she looked up at me, "Oh, John, I felt you come in."

I looked at her confusedly. Yep, an odd bird alright.

I guessed she took note of the expression on my face and started to explain herself, "Everyone on this planet has an aura about them. It is beautiful, you know. I felt yours as soon as the door to the café opened."

I grinned at her. I honestly never knew what to say to her weird and insightful comments, "So what about this art project?"

I really was crazy for getting involved in art again, but I had truly missed it. I figured it was time to get back into the swing of things and check out some galleries. I had had some success with my writing hobby a few years ago, and I felt that it was time to give this hobby a go now.

"Well," she said pushing the napkin with the sketch toward me, "It's a ladder that you have to climb, and there is a spyglass on a string. The object is to look through the glass and read a tiny 'yes' written on the ceiling. Just that simple word is meant to uplift and cause a positive reaction in people."

I smiled, it was encouraging to hear someone say the word 'yes' to you, "I like that. I'll be glad to sponsor your exhibit."

She looked down and her hands and then up at me shyly, "I have it set up at my apartment that's not too far from here, if you wanted to take a look."

"Sure," I agreed, "I don't have much time though. I'm due at the studio at nine thirty."

Yoko smiled, "Oh, it shouldn't take long."

I followed her out of the café, and she offered to drive. We climbed into her car, and within a few minutes, we had arrived at a flat building. I followed her up a couple of flights of stairs and through her door. There was something oddly familiar about her apartment. The way it was set up reminded me of the flat that I shared with Stuart in Liverpool, but everything here was clean and white. The familiarity came with the drawings and paintings and art projects scattered around the small space.

"Come see," she motioned for me to follow her.

We entered a door to another white room, and like she promised there was a ladder sitting in the middle of the room with a spyglass hanging from a string above it. She held her arm out and pointed to the ladder. I stepped on and climbed until I could reach the spyglass. I looked through the glass at the ceiling, and sure enough, there was a tiny 'yes' scribbled onto it.

I climbed down, "It's very positive when you see the 'yes.'"

"That's the point," she replied.

I looked around again, "What other pieces are you showing at the exhibit?"

"I'll show you, but first, sit on the sofa. I want to give you something that will help you relax and see the meanings behind the pieces."

I followed her out of the room and sat on the sofa as I was instructed to do. She came back into the living room with two small paper cups. She drank hers as she sat down and handed my cup to me. I swallowed the almost tasteless liquid, and within seconds, I felt myself going down. I slipped into an almost euphoric state, but this wasn't like the calm of LSD, this was much more freeing. It was a superior high that almost made me feel jittery.

I don't remember if we looked at more art pieces or not, but soon I was in Yoko's car outside of Abbey Road Studios, bouncing in my seat from this strange high.

She smiled at me, "We'll have to do this again sometime."

"Yeah…Thanks," I tried to find the words. It was hard to speak because of the other world I currently resided in.

She reached across me and opened the door, "They're waiting for you, John."

I stood. It was too fast. My head was swimming, and I almost lost track of where I was and who I was.

"Say, Yoko? What is it that you gave me?"

She shut the door and rolled the window down, "Heroin."

And just like that, she drove off into the night. An odd bird indeed, but intriguing.

 **Author's Note: Happy Halloween everyone! Hope you had a good one! Don't forget to please vote and comment!  
**


	50. Chapter 50: Out of the Woods

**Something**

 **Chapter 50: Out of the Woods**

 **May 25, 1968**

 **John's POV**

I found myself sitting at Yoko's apartment again. She had asked me to come over and see how the projects for the art show were coming, and to be honest, I needed another fix of that wonder drug called heroin that she supplied me with. I had never had anything like it before. It truly was an amazing high that brought me to a state of almost euphoric pleasure and wonder. I had been coming to Yoko's apartment at least once a week to get my fix. I think I was starting to become addicted to the feeling it gave me.

And it was a chance to escape the pressures of everyday life. Things with the Beatles were going okay, but even I could tell that everyone was starting to get fed up. I think we all just want to do our own thing, but for now we were enjoying each other's company and music making.

"John?"

I opened my eyes. I hadn't realized I had closed them, "Hmm?"

Yoko came into view. She was sitting across from me in the chair, "Do you want another fix?"

I nodded and grabbed the plastic cup out of her hand and fueled up with another fix. I thought about Sasha as I laid my head back on the sofa. She probably wouldn't approve of the new drug that had found its way into my life. She wasn't a fan of drugs, maybe because the way they destroyed everything back in Hamburg. I promised her that wouldn't happen again.

My thoughts of Sasha faded, and soon, I had no thoughts. Yoko asked me to follow her, her voice muffled in my high.

I followed her into her room, which I had never seen.

She smiled, "My new art piece is in my mind. It hasn't been created yet."

"What's that?" I slurred, glancing at the white bed.

Abruptly, Yoko's lips were on mine, and within minutes were bare and running our hands all over each other on her bed, making art, making love.

 **June 10, 1968**

 **Sasha's POV**

I sat on the bed in my best party dress watching John put the finishing touches on his routine before we were due to leave for the opening of the artist that John was sponsoring at the gallery. It had been years since I had been to any art gallery. The last time was probably back in Liverpool with Stu and John to see some of the pieces they did at the art college. I glanced at one of Stu's paintings that hung on the wall. I missed him.

I glanced back at John before I started to get sad and weakly smiled at him. I studied his all black ensemble, the round glasses perched on his nose, and his long auburn hair. He was so different than the boy I meet eleven years ago, but I loved him all the same. I couldn't help but notice that he had been a little off lately, a little distant.

"John," I said.

He sat down next to me, "What is it, mama?"

"Is something bothering you?"

John kissed me softly, "No, everything's fine."

He got off the bed and walked out of the room. John was starting to get distant, and it scared me. I desperately wanted this to work between us. I couldn't have my heart broken by John again. Everything was starting to feel a little too familiar to me.

"I don't like the way she looks at you, John," I said as we walked through the front door.

We had just gotten home from the art gallery. The exhibit was nice, but Yoko's behavior ruined it for me. She kept grabbing John's arm and pulling him away from me to go talk to the different art people that showed up. She looked at him like he was hers, and acted like they were together. I started to confront John about when we were almost home, and the discussion had gotten a little heated.

"What are you talking about?" John asked.

I sighed, "Oh, so now you're just acting confused about it. You spent more time with her tonight than you did with me."

John started stomping up the stairs, "I worked on the piece with her. I'm not having this discussion with you. It's ridiculous."

I followed him into our room, "You know, I would like to have this discussion. You need to know how I feel. I've been feeling quite lonely lately. I know you're busy with the record but I never see you. You go over to her apartment once or twice a week and then you're at the studio the rest of the time. You didn't even talk to me hardly any tonight, and I'm your fiancé."

John sighed, "I don't know what to say. I've been busy. I offered you a position to work with us on the record."

"Maybe, I'll take it. I'd like to keep an eye on you anyway."

 **John's POV**

"You think I'm cheating on you?" I yelled back at her.

Sasha stepped closer to me, "I don't know what to think, John."

The truth is, I had been cheating on her. Yoko and I had been sleeping together for nearly three weeks. She would give me heroin, and I would pay her with the only thing better than money. My hands were shaking. I needed a fix. I hadn't had any heroin in three days. I felt my face get hot and the anger boil up inside of me.

I exploded, "Why do you always have to be up my ass all of time, Sasha?"

I saw tears in her eyes. She didn't say anything. She just looked at the ground and was quiet. I didn't have time for this. Yoko had agreed to pull up to the front gate in a couple hours and give me my fix.

"I love you," she finally whispered, "Please don't break my heart again, John. I can't take it."

I pulled her into a hug and kissed her. This kiss turned passionate quickly. I felt her hands unbuttoning my shirt and running up and down my bare chest. I didn't have time for all of this mess. I pushed her back on the bed and pushed her dress and panties out of the way. She moaned as I entered her and started making my attack on her.

Afterwards, she was lying in my arms. I glanced at the clock to see that it was time to meet Yoko. I carefully slipped from Sasha's arms and grabbed some pajama bottoms to slip on.

There she was, just like she promised. She was sitting in the back seat of her car waiting for me. I gave her a kiss as I climbed in next to her.

"I have what you want if you give me what I want," she said handing me the hearty dose of heroin.

I kissed her again, "I do love Sasha, you know."

"I'll make you love me," she whispered before kissing me deeply.

I climbed on top of her, and in my driveway in the backseat of her car, I started to fall in love. The fact that it wasn't Sasha scared me.

 **July 15, 1968**

 **Sasha's POV**

"Just bloody shut up," John told me as we drove through Scotland.

I scoffed, "Don't act like a dick in front of Julian."

"Don't say those words in front of my son."

"I'm sure he's heard you say worse," I shot back.

He didn't say anything. It was sad. I was starting to doubt that we were going to make it to our wedding date in October. Things had been rocky between us for the last month. John and I were constantly bickering, so here we were in Scotland.

Paul had suggested that we come and visit him and Jane at his farm in Scotland to help ease some of the tension of the pressures in London. Paul also asked if we could bring Julian with us, so he was sitting comfortably in the backseat.

I had driven all the way up to Scotland, and then John wanted to drive. Everyone knew he wasn't the best driver, but I figured that since he was wearing his glasses, he wouldn't be too bad. He was doing quite well so far, for John anyway.

"I hope this bloke gets on his bloody side of the road," John commented as he gripped the wheel tighter.

There was a car speeding around the corner up ahead on the wrong side of the road. As the car got closer, we both realized that it wasn't going to move. Everything happened so fast. John hit the brakes too soon and overcorrected the wheel. I felt the car rush forward as he suddenly let off the brakes, and the front end of the car smashed into a tree. I pushed myself back in my seat for the impact with my hand grabbing Julian in the backseat to protect him. I watched as John was whipped forward, causing him to hit his chin on the steering wheel.

I was holding Julian in my arms at the hospital as he cried, "Is Daddy going to be okay?"

"Yes, Jules. He just had to get stitches." I reassured him.

I saw Paul emerge from the door that led back to the emergency department. I stood from my seat, still holding Julian.

"John wants to see you," Paul said, "He had to get twenty stitches in on his jaw line. The doctor said he'll have a pretty nasty scar."

I handed Julian to Paul and walked back to find John sitting at one of the checkout stations.

I sat down next to him and grabbed his hand. He had a big bandage plastered to the side of his face.

"Sasha," he croaked.

I saw tear roll down his cheek before more followed. I didn't know why he was crying, but soon I was too, and I held him anyway.


	51. Chapter 51: Across the Universe

**Something**

 **Chapter 51: Across the Universe**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **August 20, 1968**

I got off the plane gripping John's hand. George and Pattie climbed out of the plane before us. George was gripping his sitar that was wrapped up in a blanket of some sort. Everyone was smiling because we had finally arrived in India after a very long flight.

I looked around to take in the scenery. It actually looked quite peaceful and relaxing here. I guessed that we were going to do a lot of mediation while here in India. I was hoping with all the thinking that John and I could repair our relationship. The bickering hadn't stopped. John had become a little distant with violent mood swings. I was waiting for the day that he would really lose it and hit me. I would leave in a heartbeat, and I hope he knows that.

Jane walked up beside me with Paul, "Can you believe this? We're in India. Maybe Pattie will leave so you can get a hold of George."

"Shhh! Someone will hear, Jane," I said quietly back to her, "You're awful."

Jane laughed, and we both greeted Maureen as she walked off the plane with Ringo.

Jane and Maureen had noticed the change in my relationship with John. In fact, everyone had noticed. They almost acted as if they knew something that I didn't know.

* * *

The next week was filled with meditating and meeting Indian officials. We were having a wonderful time there, and John and I would take romantic walks on the nights when he wasn't as high as a kite on some kind of drugs or off writing songs with Paul somewhere. I felt as if things were finally getting back to normal between us.

Jane came up beside me as we all sat on a hill overlooking the ocean, "Did you notice that Pattie left?"

"No, and I don't care," I lied to her. The fact that Pattie was gone made me feel warm inside, but why?

Jane gave me a smirk and went and sat over by Paul again. Ringo, Maureen, and John were nowhere in sight, and honestly, I didn't care for some reason. I couldn't remember the last time I had some alone time. I sat down on my blanket in the grass and watched the serene ocean in front of me, as far as the eye can see. George was a few feet away from me playing sitar beautifully. His hair was long, but his face was cleanly shaven now with the exception of some scruff that had grown.

A few minutes passed, and I heard George stop playing. He looked over at me, "How are you?"

I didn't know what to say. George hadn't looked in my direction, much less talked to me in over a year.

"Fine. You should keep playing, it sounds great," I told him

George grinned, squinting his eyes from the sun, "Do you want to play?"

"I wouldn't even know where to begin."

George got up from his spot and sat down behind me after he handed me his sitar.

"Now put your finger here," he said grabbing my left hand and placing it on one of the strings on the neck, "Now, put your other hand down here and pluck the strings," he grabbed my right hand and held it while I tried to follow his rhythm of plucking the strings.

At first, the notes that I attempted to play sounded awful until George assisted me more. Now that I was playing the simple melody correctly, George moved to sit in front of me.

He smiled as I played the same thing over again, and I smiled back at him. It was so easy to forget the past and just stare into his deep brown eyes like I used to. I suddenly got lost and felt my fingers slip off the neck making the sitar sound screechy for an instant. George laughed causing his face to light up. That loud laugh that I loved where his head would be thrown back and those deep laugh lines would appear around his mouth. I forgot how much I loved the sound of it.

"Maybe sitar's not for me," I said handing it back to him.

George grinned, "You had it until you lost concentration. It just takes a lot of practice, and I'm not perfect by any means."

He started playing a complicated melody I recognized as 'Norwegian Wood.' I smiled as I watched him play the beautiful instrument.

George had changed so much since we were together, and I was afraid that I didn't even know him anymore. He seemed so much quieter, so much more reclusive than before. I knew deep down that he was still the same George, but a George that was heavily immersed in Indian culture. It intrigued me also, but not as much as it did him.

I wanted to kiss him just because he looked so perfect today, and partly because I missed him so much. I studied him as he looked down at the strings while playing beautiful wordless tunes with his sitar. He had on a white Indian style cotton outfit on like the rest of us had in different colors. He had a flower lei on around his neck and his hair looked like it hadn't been brushed today. His eyes were intense with concentration as he played.

George suddenly stopped playing and looked up at me, "You wanna take a walk?"

I was struck dumb again and searched for an answer; all I could muster out was an, "Okay."

George placed his sitar by his belongings and waited for me to catch up with him. We headed down to the beach. The orange and pink colors danced in the sky as the sun was setting on the horizon. The purple waves crashed gently on the mixture of smooth sand and rocky surfaces.

George turned to me and grabbed my hand intertwining my fingers with his own. I shivered at his touch but soon relaxed into his grip. It's as if it was 1964, and we were walking down the beach in Miami on that week in February when our lives changed forever. We were so young back then, and in love.

"I love you," he whispered catching me by surprise.

I looked down at the sand. I didn't know what to think.

"I know what you're thinking," he started, "You're thinking that just because Pattie left to visit her mother in Manchester that I'm going to need to use you as a rebound. You're wrong. I've wanted to talk to you for a while, but I haven't gotten to have any time alone with you. I just wanted to formally tell you that I'm sorry for betraying you, but I thought you weren't coming back. I regret my decision every time I look at you; we're both so unhappy. I just wanted to get that out of the way. I don't want to talk about the past anymore. But, I do want you to know that I really truly still love you. I just need to know if you love me."

George and I were still walking down the beach hand in hand; our surroundings got darker as the sun got lower and lower. I thought about it. George was almost like my knight in shining armor. Every time things were falling apart in my life, he would swoop in and make me feel so loved.

I honestly didn't know what to say though. Part of me wanted to say that I still loved him and jump into his arms, but the other part of me wanted to ignore the fact that he still loved me and continue to be with John. I was right back where I started, choosing over two well deserving Beatles.

"Sasha," George stopped walking and turned to me, "Do you still love me?"

I held my breath, hoping that I would pass out to save me from this moment, "George, I….."

"I can't do this," I finally said exhaling all of the breath I had been holding.

George wrapped his arms around me, "What can't you do? Why is it so hard to tell me if you love me or not?"

"George," I pushed him away from me, "Don't you see what you're doing? You're putting me through the same torture that John put me through back in '65."

"But look where it got him, Sasha! He got you back didn't he?" George yelled at me stepping an inch closer.

I stepped back some, "Maybe I'm not as happy as I was because this relationship was kind of forced. It wasn't just something I decided to do. I had no choice George because when I came you had run off and gotten married to some woman that you don't even love?!"

George stayed silent after my outburst. I had a feeling that he never stepped back and saw the whole picture. I had felt extremely obligated to date John, but I wanted to be with George. I don't think he understood that in both of our hearts we wanted the same thing, and that was to be together. I knew that George would've never hurt me like John is doing. George would've always been true and stuck by my side.

George stared at me for a while, "I pretend she's you. I shouldn't do that. I shouldn't pretend that my wife is someone else. Every time we hug or kiss or just look at each other, I picture you and wish that you were the one that was sitting in front of me. I imagine it's you when we make love; I even called out your name one night, but Pattie pretended as if I hadn't. Don't you see? I want us to be together. It kills me not to talk to you; I want you back."

"Maybe I would be back if hadn't gotten married just because you were sad because I was taking care of my dying mother and didn't have time for the outside world. If you really wanted me to be with you, you would've come and got me before I got on that flight to America."

"I knew you were mad, and I didn't want you to make a big scene in the airport," George said, "But I still loved you. I really do, even at this very moment."

"Ugh! Don't do this to me George! I..."

I was cut off by George's sweet lips moving with mine. At first I fought it, but after how much I realized I wanted it, I kissed him back. Our lips belong together. As cliché as it sounded, it was true. I never wanted another thing in this world other than this moment.

George pulled away and grinned at me, looking into my eyes. The sun was very low in the sky now and it was getting dark out. Without a word, George took my hand and walked me back to the hotel. No one else was in sight as we slipped into George's room unnoticed.

George led me to the bathroom, where we showered together. After getting finished in the bathroom, George and I headed back to the main part of the hotel room. He slipped from his towel and tore off mine while throwing me onto the bed. We made love and made love a second time before we wrapped up in each other's arms and drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, when I woke up, I slipped from George's arms and crawled out of bed. Once out of bed, I looked down at George's sleeping from; his hair was disheveled and sprawled out all over his pillow and his bare chest moving up and down rhythmically. I gathered my clothes up and put them. I placed a kiss on George's forehead, and made my way quietly out of the room. I couldn't believe what I had just done, but I didn't regret it. Making love to George was just as romantic and magical as I remembered it, and I had been missing that lovely passion with John lately. George was just always a breath of fresh air.

I walked down the hall to mine and John's room slowly. I hoped he didn't suspect anything about last night. I opened the door quietly in case John was still asleep. There was no one in the living room part, so I tiptoed to the bedroom door.

I heard John's voice through the cracked door, "What do you mean?"

There was a pause, and anger filled my body. John was talking on the phone to someone. My mind went to the worst.

I heard John sigh heavily, like he was frustrated, before speaking again, "Are you one hundred percent positive that you're pregnant?"

My heart and breathing stopped as tears filled my eyes. I let it happen again. I let John break my heart into a million pieces, and I'm sure I would be able to clean it up this time around.

 **Author's Note: What's Sasha going to do? Who do you think she should end up with, John or George?**


	52. Chapter 52: In the End

**Something**

 **Chapter 52: In the End**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **August 28, 1968**

"No, no, no," I whispered as my back hit bedroom door, and I slid down it so I was sitting on the ground.

I couldn't keep standing. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't feel anything. I was numb and shocked just like the night that John left me lying on the cold, hard ground of the Kaiserkeller bathroom. I didn't know what to think. Part of me saw it coming with his distance and his mood swings. The other half of me, however, was blindsided. John had gotten back into my head and made me believe that he still loved me. For what? What did he want from me? I wondered if he got pleasure out of ripping my heart out of me when he knows that I'm so in love with him that it hurts. He waits until the very right time to break me.

I heard the other side of the French door that lead to the bedroom creak as it was slowly fully opened.

"Sasha," John sighed, "What are you doing on the floor?"

I looked up at him. I probably looked pathetic with tears streaming down my face, crouching on the floor like a child. I decided to stand up to face him once and for all.

John rubbed his forehead with his hand and dropped it at his side again. I think he knew that I had heard. He knew that the end was coming.

"How long were you going to keep playing this game, John?" I croaked at him.

"Sasha, I," he started to come toward me to bring me into a hug, but I pushed him away with all of my force.

"Don't touch me," I yelled, "I don't want you anywhere near me!"

John sighed, "Stop yelling. You're gonna make a scene."

"Would that embarrass you, John?" I asked him, "Would it?"

He didn't say anything. Truthfully, I didn't want him to speak.

"Try being me, John!" I yelled, "If you want to be embarrassed, try being me."

John sighed again, "Sasha, what are you talking about?"

"You want to know what's embarrassing, John?" I paused, "Lying on a bathroom floor after your boyfriend just beat the living shit out of you and raped you. That's embarrassing!"

I could tears starting to surface in John's eyes, and I hoped they would spill over. I wanted to see him cry.

"Or what about waiting around hoping he'll come and see you when he gets back in town, but he never shows up. He leaves you stranded out in the cold, so you look like a pathetic little girl," I paused, and John looked at the ground, "And then years later when he gets back in your head and makes you think that he still loves just so he can sleep around with you, and your fiancé catches you naked together in a recording studio ending any chance at love that you ever had. That's embarrassing."

"I never meant to hurt you," he whispered, "I do love you."

"Here's my favorite one," I got closer to him, "You finally get him back. Everything is going perfectly. You're engaged, and you have your wedding date set. He decides that he doesn't really care that much anymore and starts sleeping around with some freak and gets her pregnant. That's my favorite part of the story, how about you?"

I saw a tear fall from John's face. He was still looking at the ground. I noticed that I wasn't crying anymore. I was too angry and betrayed to cry anymore.

"John," I said, "I trusted you again. I put my heart back out there to you after what you did to me the first time. I guess I was a fool to think this could work."

John sat down on the sofa behind and finally looked up at me. There were tears streaming down his face, "I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything. This is over, and if you think for one minute that you can get back in my mind and heart, you can forget it."

"Sasha!" John stood and walked toward me as I started to leave the room.

I turned to face. He tried to lean in and kiss me, but I pushed him away.

"You still love me," he whispered, "I know I still love you."

I scoffed, "What I feel for you right now is the farthest thing from love."

I turned and ran out of the hotel room. It wasn't until I was halfway down the hall that I realized that I was sobbing. I couldn't breathe.

I found Paul's room and started banging on the door, "Paul, please open the door. I need you. Please."

I was relieved when the door opened, and Paul's face appeared. I fell into his arms and started sobbing again and gasping for air.

"Sasha, calm down. What's wrong?" He asked me, pulling away from our embrace and holding his hands on my shoulders.

I tried to catch my breath, "John…he…I'm so stupid."

"You found out?"

I backed away from Paul slowly, "You knew?"

"Sasha, the signs were there, you know."

I kept baking away, "You didn't tell me. You let him continue to hurt me and hurt me."

Paul sighed, "Sasha, it wasn't my problem to get involved with. It was an accident that I even found out about it. John told me that he was going to end it, but I guess he didn't."

I found my way to the sofa and sat down, "She's pregnant."

"I'm so sorry," Paul sat down beside me and brought me into his arms, "You know what you need to do? You need to get on a plane right now. Go to Kenwood and get all of your things and move them to my place. You can stay with me for a little while. Until you figure out what you're doing."

I nodded and wiped my cheeks with my sleeve, "Okay. Call the airport and get me a flight."

Paul kissed my head and gave me one last hug before I went and collected my things. To my relief, John was nowhere to be seen. I honestly never wanted to see him again. Within a few hours, I was on a plane flying back to London contemplating what to do next.

 **Author's Note: I hope you're enjoying it. Please comment and tell me what you think Sasha is going to do?**


	53. Chapter 53: Clean

**Chapter 53: Clean**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **October 16, 1968**

It had been two months since my relationship with John had ended for the second time, and so far, I was doing okay. I felt like I was more angry than sad. I was angry at John, but I was also angry at myself for letting myself fall back into his tricks. I should've known that things would turn out this way though.

I heard that John was doing better than me from Paul and Ringo. He had started to bring Yoko to the studio with him every day. They said that she would sit extremely close to him and try to put her input into how the songs should go. I could tell that it bothered them, but they would never say that out loud, especially Ringo.

I folded another shirt and placed it in my suitcase. I had made the executive decision to move to New York until I needed to come back to London to work on my next album, which I was hoping to have out by the end of next year. Paul said that I'm welcome at his place when I come back to London to work. Paul has been truly incredible despite breaking Jane's heart shorty after they got back from India. I was mad at him for cheating on her, but I knew that Jane and I would still be close friends.

I've realized something since being back in London without John. I have all the support I need. I have Paul and all my friends from before that have been more than supportive. In fact, Paul and I have become the closest that we've ever been from this situation. I was okay though.

I zipped my suitcase closed and sat down next to it on the bed. I couldn't wait to get back to New York City and find myself again now that I've lost John.

I heard the front door open and close in the distance, "Sasha!" Paul called out.

I walked to the living room to greet him, "Hey, how was the studio this morning?"

"Bloody awful," he said, "I'm glad I have to take you to the airport, so I can have a break from them."

I sat on the sofa, "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Paul said as he sat on the chair across from me, "That's the problem. Nothing is happening. John and I used to click, you know. Now, I can hardly talk to him about anything. Yoko's hanging about all of the time, and she's just ruined any chemistry between me and John. John only listens to her. He's absolutely bonkers now, Sasha."

I didn't say anything. I had heard about the way John acted around Yoko. Ringo told me that she would even follow him into the bathroom. They couldn't do anything without each other.

"Sasha," Paul looked up at me, "Before you leave, I need to tell you something."

I was confused, "What is it?"

"I'm worried about John," he started, "Sasha, there's a reason he cheated on you. There's a reason Yoko's got him wrapped around her finger. There's a reason he's acting so stupidly."

"What is it?" I asked again. I tried to prepare myself for what Paul was about to say.

Paul sighed, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I've known this for a while, and you could've helped him, and things would probably be different between you two."

"Tell me," I was getting a little frustrated.

Paul got up and sat beside me on the couch. He placed his hand on my thigh and exhaled, "Sasha, I'm so worried about him. He's gotten addicted to something that has killed so many people in this business. He's been taking it since, I think, May. Yoko gave it to him."

I looked at him. I felt tears in my eyes. Some kind of drug had done it the second time again, "What has he been taking? What else was he hiding from me?"

Paul looked me in the eyes, "Heroin."

My heart stopped. I had heard so many stories of people in the industry dying from the dangerous drug that John was hooked on. How could I not see it? The mood swings, the distance, the withdrawal symptoms when we would be busy or away for a few days. Drugs had ruined things again. First, it was Preludin, and now, heroin. But heroin wasn't something to mess with. John could be dead or die because of her. It was probably all part of her plan, get him high and then seduce him. I choked out some tears.

Paul wrapped his arms around me and brought me into a hug, "I'm sorry. I should've told you."

I composed myself and stood from the sofa, "I don't care. He's not my problem anymore. He can do as he pleases. I'm done. Let's go."

Paul didn't say anything to me until we got to the airport, and then he told me goodbye. I would be back in England at the beginning of next year. I had to finish my album after all. But I needed this getaway. I needed to be alone for a couple of months.

Upon arrival at my apartment in New York City, I realized two things. For one, I missed New York. It was all of things I remembered and more as I was chauffeured from the airport to my cozy Tribeca apartment. Secondly, I realized that there were still remnants of John scattered around the apartment, so I cleaned. I put everything thing that had to do with him in boxes and in the attic.

When it was finally clean, I sat down on the sofa. I looked around my apartment. Tears surfaced, and for the first time since the confrontation in India, I sobbed.

 **November 30, 1968**

I had been in New York for a little over a month now, and I was thoroughly enjoying the alone time. I realized that I hadn't truly been alone in a long while. I had a lot of time to think as well. I thought about my past, but I didn't dwell on that too long. I thought about John. In fact, I thought about John a lot. I was sure that I was over him because I just didn't find that love anymore when I looked inside, but I still wondered how he was. I wondered if he ever thought of me. I doubted it. He seemed pretty in love with Yoko from what I've heard from Paul.

I make a priority to talk to Paul at least once a week. I needed to know how things were going back in London of course. I also kept in touch with Jane and Maureen. I was excited that they had agreed to come and visit me in New York in January right before I head back to London in February. They promised to bring along Astrid and Klaus too, which I was very excited about.

At the thought of them, I thought of Stu. Stu would've loved New York. I can just imagine taking him to all of the art galleries and little cafes. I missed him terribly, and I know that he would be incredible at getting me through this John situation yet again.

I suppose I've learned a lot about myself since being back in New York alone. I haven't been single, really, since before I moved to Liverpool in 1957. I guess I just lost myself getting caught up in relationships throughout the years.

The phone rang pulling me out of my thoughts, "Hello," I answered.

"Sasha," John's voice made my breath hitch and my palms go sweaty.

I didn't say anything, mostly because I couldn't find the words, but also because he didn't deserve me speaking to him again.

John inhaled deeply on the other line, "Listen, I called to ask you something. Yoko and I are planning on getting married in January."

I didn't care. Why would he call to tell me this?

"Anyway," he continued, "I've been thinking about you a lot, Sasha."

My heart paused, and I couldn't breathe. He had been thinking about me. I still didn't say anything.

John sighed, "I just wanted to call and let you know that I love you, and I know I screwed up. Listen, I'll call the wedding with Yoko off if you want to give us another chance. We can try again. What do you say?"

I didn't say anything. I slammed the phone down on the receiver, hanging up on John. There was no chance that I was going to put myself through that torture again. There was no chance that I was going to lose him and myself again. I had finally realized who I was without a man by my side.

I lost John, but I found myself, and somehow that's been everything to me in these last few months.

 **Author's Note: Who do you want to see Sasha end up with? Let me know in the comments.**


	54. Chapter 54: Crippled Inside

**Something**

 **Chapter 54: Crippled Inside**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **March 1, 1969**

The months since John called me in November had flown by. I think I was finally better. Jane, Maureen, Astrid, and Klaus coming to spend time with me in New York in January was the last thing I needed to push me into that threshold of being over John. No one had expected me to get over it so quickly based on the way I acted the first time around. I had even surprised myself. I was enjoying being single and having fun. I had gone to clubs in New York and made out with some men I didn't know. I was all very liberating and fun.

I was back in London, however, to finish my album. Unfortunately, before Brian died, he made me agree to some things that have come back to bite me. In order to leave country to do a pop album, I had to help produce The Beatles' records as well. It was a sort of compromise between us, and since my contract was in the hands of Apple now, I didn't want to not do my duty and get sued. That was the last thing I needed.

I looked in the mirror one last time. I looked good in my micro-mini sweater dress and heeled boots. If I was going to be forced to be in the same room with John, I might as well make him see what he's missing. I ran my fingers through my long, straight hair once more before putting on my pea coat and heading out the door.

Paul was outside waiting for me in his car. He had been nice enough to let me stay with him whilst I was in London. I would be going back to New York as soon as my album and The Beatles' album was finished.

"Hey sis. You look stunning as usual," Paul said as I closed the car down behind me.

I smiled at him, "I might as well make John jealous while I'm here."

Paul laughed, "Trust me, Yoko's looks don't hold a candle to yours. Besides, John knows he's an idiot for all of this. The way you're dressed is just icing on the cake. In fact, I love this new single, NYC Sasha."

"What do you mean?"

"Ever since you've gotten over John this time around and moved to New York, you've become a little bit feistier. The old Sasha would've been too nervous or shy to dress like this and make John jealous," Paul explained.

I thought about it for a minute. He was right. My good girl image was long gone. I didn't need it anymore in the pop world. Besides, I'm almost twenty-eight years old. I deserve to have a little fun. This is really the first time I've been truly single since before I met John.

Paul chuckled, "If you're going to make John jealous, can I help?"

I looked at him, "Paul, what are you talking about?"

"Let me suggest some things that will make him jealous."

I laughed, "Okay."

"First, make sure you really draw attention to yourself when you walk in. Be confident. Show off your looks. Second, hug Ringo a little too close and a little too long. Hug George also. And do you know what will really get John going?"

"What?" I laughed at Paul's suggestions.

"Be extra polite to Yoko. Introduce yourself and act like you want to become the best of friends."

I smiled, still laughing, "Is that all?"

Paul smirked, "Then, hug John. Don't linger like you do with Ringo and George or any other man that's in the studio for that matter. Make it quick and unemotional."

"Alright, I'll do it," I laughed, "Why do you want to make John angry so badly? You two were so close."

"Until Yoko came along. It's like cats and dogs between us."

Paul was silent after that, and I didn't push it any further. I could tell that it made Paul upset that him and John weren't as close anymore. I knew how he got about that stuff. Hell, he hated Stuart for this very same reason. I just couldn't understand why Paul and John were fighting nowadays. I guess I would find out today.

We pulled into the parking lot of the studio. I took a deep breath as Paul parked the car. This was it.

Studio two was the same as I remember. Paul took me to the back door, so we didn't have to go through all the producers in the control room. It sure felt better than I thought to be back. I strutted in and made eye contact with John to make sure that he was looking at me. Yoko was sat next to him in a chair. He had his guitar in his lap. He looked so different for some reason that I couldn't place. I walked over to the couch that George had caught me having an affair with John on and slowly stripped from my coat. I sat my coat on top of my purse and walked over to Ringo. I tapped his shoulder.

He turned and brought me into a tight embrace, "I've missed you, Sasha. It's been so different without you around."

There was a hint of sadness in his voice. I had missed Ringo dearly. He was always the sun on a cloudy day, but as I hugged him, I sensed that that cheerfulness was gone.

I lingered a bit too long on our hug. I pulled away to see John still staring at me from across the room. I walked over to George, who was sitting on the base of the drum stand with his guitar. This was the encounter that I was most nervous about. We hadn't spoken since we had slept together in India, and I wasn't sure how he would take me being back.

His back was to me, so I sat down next to him, "Hello, stranger."

George turned himself around to see me sitting next to him. His brown eyes searched my blue ones for a moment. He breathed a sigh of relief, "It's good to see you."

"You too," I said, smiling, "How have you been?"

"Same old, same old," he said. George was going to be too stubborn to tell me how he had really been.

We sat in silence for a few long moments before I spoke, "I missed London."

George looked around nervously, then locked eyes with me, "I missed you."

This took me by surprise, but I brought George into a confident hug anyway, just like Paul had told me to do. I lingered to long and stood to begin my closer attack on John.

I walked up to Yoko's chair, "Hi."

She and John both looked up at me, "Hello," she replied coldly.

"Listen, Yoko. I haven't seen you in so long. It would be nice to start a anew and be friends. I know what it's like to be surrounded by these guys all the time with no girl company. Maybe we could get tea together sometime."

She surprised me by smiling, "I would actually love that," she sounded genuine. Too bad I wasn't.

I smiled back at her and turned to John. My palms went sweaty, but I didn't let my nervousness show, "John. How have you been? Married life treating you well?"

John stood to face me. He brought me into a hug. I missed his arms.

"You don't have to pretend," he whispered.

I pulled away quickly, "I don't know what you're talking about."

I walked away quickly and walked up the stairs to the control room to work with the producers, swinging my hips as I went.

The day was long, and I finally saw what Paul meant about the fighting and the hostility between the four of them. It was a shame really. They are such a good band, and they were once great friends.

As the boys were packing up their instruments, I walked back down into the studio to wait for Paul to pack up.

"I'll be glad to go home. Linda's making a nice dinner tonight," Paul said.

That was another thing that had changed. Paul had met an American woman named Linda, and had fallen in love with her. They were due to get married any day now. I liked her a lot. We didn't have as much in common as I did with Jane, but she was sweet and treated my brother well. She also has a young daughter that Paul adores.

I jumped when George tapped me on the shoulder, "Could I speak to you, Sasha?"

I looked to Paul before answering. He sighed, "I really wanted to get home."

"I'll bring her home if you want to leave," George offered to Paul.

"If it's alright with Sasha," Paul said, looking to me.

I nodded and gave a small smile. To be honest, I was nervous.

I watched as everyone except George and I had filed out of the studio. He sat down on the sofa and motioned for me to sit as well. I sat far away from him on the opposite side.

"How have you been?" He asked.

I sighed, "Okay. And you?"

"You saw the way recording was today. I don't think I can do it anymore. Remember when I was feeling left out because Paul and John wouldn't let me use any of the songs I had written? You would comfort me at the end of the day and tell me to keep trying. You would tell me that they were waiting for the perfect time to use my songs."

I nodded. George would feel so defeated some days when he would come home from the studio late at night. I would hold him, and we would just talk for hours. I missed it.

"Pattie doesn't do those things. She's always out with friends or at a shoot or with Eric."

I raised my eyebrow, "Eric?"

George sighed, "My good friend Eric Clapton. She's friends with him too. In fact, I think they're a little too close."

I could tell what he was hinting at, "You think she's sleeping with him?"

"I know she is," he sighed and rubbed his face with his hand.

"I'm sorry, George," I said.

Another round of silence spread through the room.

"I told you John would hurt you again," he spoke quietly.

I was taken aback, "This isn't the time for 'I told you so,' George."

He sighed, "Do you ever think about India and what happened the night before you left?"

"To be honest with you, I haven't thought about it."

He nodded slowly. We sat together with no words for a long time. I looked at George. He was looking at the ground. I saw a tear fall from the tip of his nose onto his jeans. More followed after that one. It was breaking my heart to see him crying in front of me. I couldn't imagine the confusion he must've felt. He probably wondered why the women in his life always wandered away to someone else. He was probably thinking about how his life, like the band, was falling apart. I couldn't stand it any longer.

"Come here," I whispered, tears surfacing in my eyes.

We brought each other into a tight embrace as we fell apart.

Being in George's arms reminded me of two things: the unconditional happiness that I used to feel all of the time when we were together and the sadness I feel now that I know he's not mine anymore. I love him, but even as I sit here crying into his chest I know that I caused this. I was stupid to let a wonderful man like George go. I looked up at him.

I soon felt George's thumbs on my face to tenderly wipe away stray tears. I tried to do the same to him with my shaking hands. He grinned at me. I can't believe I hurt him like I did, and afterwards, I ran from everything that we had. I was still shocked at myself for giving a perfect relationship like that up.

"I was so wrong," I whispered avoiding his deep brown eyes.

He hugged me close to him again, "About what?"

"About leaving you George," I sighed, "I wasn't really leaving you, but I should've called you and told you the situation. I pushed you away. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

I could feel the tears starting to form in my eyes. George was silent for a long while.

"You did everything you could, Sasha. You were taking care of your dying mother. I shouldn't have overreacted. I made a rash decision like marriage when I still love you so much."

"George, I'll never get you back will I?"

He placed his hands on my shoulders and sighed shakily, "You made a choice Sasha, and I made a choice. Sadly, we can't change what happened in the past."

"George," the tears that had formed fell from my eyes slowly.

He leaned down and kissed me on the cheek, "I love you, and I do wish I could change things."

George grabbed his coat and began walking toward the door to leave, "I said I would take you home, but it might be better if I just go."

I couldn't let him just leave like this.

I ran to him, my emotions taking over, "Why can you not change these things George?!"

George turned around; he looked sadder than I've ever seen him, "I'm sorry."

Then, he left, just like that. Just like I left him all those years go. I didn't know when I would see George next, but I hoped that we did see one another again. This wasn't goodbye to me.

I stood in the middle of the studio looking at the ground crying for a long time. I didn't know why but I suddenly felt the urge to run.

I ran out of Abbey Road Studios and down the street. The crisp autumn air was slapping me in the face causing my tears to feel like ice against my skin. I wasn't sure where I was running, but it felt like a good way to escape my problems. I felt like I was running from them and never looking back.

I suddenly felt something hard hit against me causing me to fall to the ground.

"Watch where you- Sasha!" John said.

I got off the ground, declining his hand that was outstretched toward me, "I don't need your help."

"What are you doing running like a maniac down the street?" John asked me, "I thought you were okay after that show you put on at the studio. You don't fool me, you know."

I could feel tears surfacing again.

Suddenly John did something that I never expected him to do, he brought me into his arms and held me tight against him, "Don't cry. I didn't mean to make you upset."

I continued to cry in his arms. I knew that John would never be able to succeed in hiding his true self from me. After all, I was the first one to uncover that he was just as vulnerable and alone inside as everyone else. Somehow, he was one of the best at hiding it. John knew that I was very familiar with his true self, and when it came down to it, he forgot all about the front he would normally put up.

I glanced up at him; he had his eyes closed and his chin resting softly on my head. This was the John that I fell in love with. This was the soft, deep, and very smart John Lennon that not a lot of people got to witness, and somehow, I was one of the few people that did. I wonder if Yoko or Cynthia or even Paul ever saw this side of John.

I wanted to stay here and hold on to him forever. An eerie feeling crept into my stomach of what might happen to me and John in the future. I wanted us to simply stay friends without any of the confused feelings that we've had in the past, but I knew that somewhere along the road we would hit a bump.

John pulled away from me, and I realized then how much older he looked. His hair was longer and parted down the middle and he was wearing round glasses. I remember when he swore he would only wear Buddy Holly glasses because all the other ones looked like they belong to a grandfather.

"I have to go," John said after what felt like an hour of us staring into one another's eyes.

"John," at the sound of my voice he stopped in his tracks and turned back around to face me.

I just looked at him and realized that maybe I didn't know the man standing in front of me. Maybe he was different from the John I fell for.

He raised his eyebrows slightly, "What?"

"I just wanted to say thanks and bye," I said slowly, "I'll see you around?"

"Sure," John said grinning, "See you soon, then."

John turned and began to walk away. His hair was floating behind him in the breeze, and he walked with his hands in his pockets. The streets of London were unusually quiet, and I wondered if I would ever see him again.


	55. Chapter 55: Gimme Some Truth

**Author's Note: Hi! I hope everyone that celebrates it had a wonderful Thanksgiving yesterday, and thank you so much for reading this story.  
**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 55: Gimme Some Truth**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **April 10, 1970**

I looked out the window over my kitchen counter at the gloomy, rainy skies over New York today as I chopped vegetables for dinner. It reminded me of London weather and made me miss it. After my duties were done with my album and the boys' albums, I moved to New York once and for all.

The Beatles' future was up in the air as of now, but even I knew that it would be lasting much longer. The four of them had already started recording solo material for the near future. I heard Ringo was doing well, but I hadn't heard from him since I left London in the fall. I only really ever talked to Paul, and he didn't like to speak of George and John ever since they wrote him a strongly worded letter about how he ruined the band, so I had no idea how either of them were doing.

I put my chopped vegetables in a pan on the stove and thought about my life now. Sure, it was just me in this New York apartment, but despite the loneliness sometimes, I was happy for the most part. My first pop album that I had released in December did extremely well, and singles are still being released from it. I'm currently not working on any music at the moment, and I'm actually enjoying the fact that my life is slowing down a bit after how hectic it became in the sixties.

The TV was playing quietly from the living room so I could listen to the news.

"Paul McCartney of the Beatles discusses the band's future, coming up after these messages from our sponsors," at the mention of Paul by the news reporter I walked into the living room and waited for the commercials to end.

The news reporter came back up next to a picture of Paul, "Paul McCartney of the Beatles issued an official statement from London today that The Beatles are officially over. The band is breaking up and will not be making anymore music together."

I sat down on the couch in shock. I couldn't hear the rest of the report over my thoughts. I knew this was coming, but it was still so hard to accept. I watched this band from the early stages. I had been so connected to them.

I heard the stove sizzle bringing me out of my thoughts. I had almost forgotten that I was cooking dinner. I walked to the kitchen stopping at a picture frame along the way. The photo was of me and Stu in 1961 just a few months before he died. I wondered what Stu would think of the Beatles end. I glanced at the calendar on the wall and noticed what today's date was. The anniversary of Stu's death, and I missed him now more than ever. I thought about it. Ironic, the Beatles die on the same day Stu did.

 **December 20, 1970**

I awoke to the sound of the phone ringing. Who's calling this early in the morning?

I answered the phone on my bedside table, "Hello?"

"Sasha McCartney?" A man's voice that I didn't recognize asked.

"This is Sasha," I replied.

"Good. Hello, um, this is Phil Spector, the producer," he introduced himself, "First of all, I'd just like to say that you're latest album was phenomenal, and it's still killing it on the charts even a year later."

I smiled, "Well, thank you. What can I do for you?"

He cleared his throat on the other line, "I actually enjoyed your last album so much that I wanted to know if you would help me on a little project that I'm producing. I could really use your expertise."

"Um," I hesitated. I had never worked with Phil, but I heard he was an excellent producer, "What's the details?"

"Well, we're actually in the pre-production phase right now, but you wouldn't have to come until February or March to actual recording sessions. It's a new solo artist that I think has so much potential with the right producers. The album's being recorded in London, and I could really use your help. It would be an honor to get to work with you."

I thought about it. I had never produced anyone but the Beatles and myself, and this new adventure could be fun. As much as I loved New York, I did miss England and it would nice to go back.

"How long would I be in London for?" I asked him.

He hesitated, and I heard him whisper the question I asked to someone else, "We're thinking June would just about finish it. You could join us in March."

I exhaled into the phone, "Okay, I'll do it. It sounds great."

Phil said how excited he was and then he instructed me to get a piece of paper and a pen to write down the directions to the place we would be recording at.

"So," he continued, "When you get into to London in a couple of months and get settled in, give me a call, and I'll let you know when you can start."

"Sounds good," I said, "I'll keep in touch."

"Great, Have a Merry Christmas!"

"Thanks, you too."

I hung up the phone and stared at the ceiling. Here's to new adventures.

 **March 18, 1971**

There were so many boxes scattered around the living room of my new apartment in London. This was just a temporary job, but I decided to go ahead and buy a place in case I just wanted to come and visit London in the future. It was in the same neighborhood as Abbey Road Studios. I liked this area, and this is where I first moved when I moved to London. This house was a tad bigger than out tiny apartment in '62 though.

The door buzzed, and I ran to answer it, "Jane, Maureen!"

They screamed along with me and we hugged for the longest time. The biggest downside to living in New York now was not getting to see my two best friends very often, and we had a lot of catching up to do.

Hours later we were sat at the kitchen table, drinking tea and gossiping.

I sighed, "I just can't believe the Beatles are over. I watched them grow and grow for so long."

"Ritchie had a hard time with all of it, really, but he's doing better. His solo career is doing well," Maureen explained.

"Speaking of solo career," Jane interrupted, "What's this project you're here for? Who are you working with again?"

"I don't know the musician's name. He just said that they were a new solo artist with a lot of potential. The producer I'm working with is called Phil Spector. I heard he was good. I think he worked with The Beach Boys."

The conversation floated to different things, but all I could think about was how nervous I was. I had never produced a stranger's record.

* * *

I drove out of London. Today was the day that I was starting my new job as a producer with a man I didn't know and a musician I didn't know. Maybe I was crazy for doing this, but these days, I was always up for trying something new. I drove through the country, closely following the directions that Phil had given me. I pulled through the gates of a house like the directions instructed.

I was awestruck as I drove up the long drive that ended at a huge white house. The grounds were beautiful and so was the house. _This must be Phil's house,_ I thought to myself as parked the car.

I slowly walked up to the front door, my palms sweating with nervousness. I lightly knocked, and almost immediately, the door opened.

"Sasha," the man said, "You're right on time. I'm Phil Spector, nice to meet you."

I shook his hand, "Nice to meet you too."

"Come in and follow me."

I stepped inside and followed him down a hallway. The house was just as gorgeous on the inside.

I looked around in awe, "Your house is beautiful."

"Thanks," he laughed.

"What's so funny?" I asked him as we continued walking.

"Nothing," he chuckled, "This way is the recording studio."

He led me through a door and down some stairs where a few men were standing. I then my heart stopped when I saw him with his back to me. No, it couldn't be him.

"Sasha's here everyone," Phil motioned toward the man that I was afraid to have turn around and face me, "This is the NEW solo artist."

He turned and stared at me through his round glasses with those hazel eyes that I had looked into so many times before. He flashed his infamous grin at me.

John.

 **Author's Note: John! Please comment and let me know what you think is going to happen!**


	56. Chapter 56: How?

**Author's Note: Hi! Thanks to everyone that's been reading and voting. I appreciate it so much. This next week is finals week for my semester, so after that, I'll be able to update regularly update again. Thank you for being patient with me.**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 56: How?**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **March 19, 1971**

I couldn't move. I couldn't think. I just wanted to close my eyes and pretend that I didn't let John trick me into flying across the ocean to work on his album with him. Where was his beloved wife? She always seemed to help him with his music, even though it seemed to me that she had no knowledge of how music is supposed to work. I felt my skin get hot and tears surface on my eyes as we stared at each other. I couldn't cry. Whatever I did, I couldn't cry. I had to be strong.

I realized how awkward this was. John and I were staring at each other in silence as Phil and who I guessed were the members of the backing band stared at us waiting for something to happen or for someone to say something.

I looked at Phil, and he had a guilty smirk on his face. I wanted to smack it right off of him. I looked back at John. I couldn't read his expression. I think he was just waiting for me to say something. I couldn't find the words, so I turned on my heel and began to leave the studio room. I walked up the stairs, feeling a hand grip my hand, but I shrugged it off and left the room.

I was fast-walking down the hallway, trying to get out. I felt a hand grip me tighter this time, stopping me. I turned to find John holding onto my arm. He grabbed my other arm with his other hand, so now he had a tight hold on me. He searched my eyes.

"Sasha," he breathed out, "I can't believe you're here."

I looked down and then back up at him, "You knew I was coming. You tricked me into coming here. And you got Phil involved. You made me leave the comfort of my apartment in New York and fly halfway across the world back to London. John, I have to be honest with you, this is the last place I want to be, and you're the last person I want to be with."

He chuckled, "Ouch."

"It's not funny. I meant it."

His hazel eyes grew soft again, and I stared into them. I saw the specs of green that would come out every so often in his eyes, "I missed you," he said.

I didn't say anything. I couldn't.

He brought me a bit closer, but I resisted so he didn't bring me too close, "Stay. Please."

I broke free of his grip, "Give me one good reason why I should stay, and it can't be that you love me. That's not going to work this time."

He looked into my eyes, "Out of everyone in this house, you're the person that knows me the best. Even my own wife doesn't know me as well as you do."

He just had to mention Yoko, didn't he?

John continued, "That's why I need you to help me with this album. I want this album to really be something special. You're probably the only one that can help me achieve that because you know exactly what I'm trying to say in my music, and I really need your help."

"You make a convincing argument, Mr. Lennon," I smirked.

He gave a small laugh, "Plus, it's nice having you around again. I really did miss you."

"John," I said.

He interrupted me, "I love to hear your voice say my name."

"I'm only staying if you promise you won't awkwardly flirt with me all the time. I can't take the awkward. Especially since now I'm guessing that this is yours and Yoko's house."

"Your guess would be correct," he said, "Which reminds me, the entire band including Phil is staying here, and I was wondering if you would like to stay here as well. There's plenty of room. It makes it easier. We can start work as early as we want and end it as late as we want without having to worry about driving home."

"I'll have to think about that," I said, "But I guess I could help you with the album."

He smiled, "Great. Come on then. I'll introduce you to everyone."

I followed him into the studio again, "Not everyone that's working on the album is here now, but I'll still introduce you. You know Phil, but this is Allan White, the drummer."

I smiled at him, "Hi, nice to meet you."

He smiled and said hello.

"I know you'll recognize the next guy," John said.

Before John could even get out the man's name, I jumped into his arms, "Klaus! What're you doing here?"

"I'm playing bass," he said in his German accent.

I smiled at him, "I missed you, and I sort of missed that German accent."

He hugged me again and whispered in my ear, "Please don't let John hurt you again."

I pulled away from our hug and grinned as John started to introduce me to the rest of the band. He was handsome. His hair was cut short again, and his round glasses reminded me of when he started wearing them again shortly after we got back together in '66. I couldn't fall for it, though. I knew he had some ulterior motives for bringing me here, and I couldn't give in. Not again.

Later that day, we were sat around listening to some takes of songs that we had recorded when I heard an all too familiar voice walk through the door. I didn't see her walk in because I was sitting in a chair with my back to the door. John was leaning against the soundboard facing the door, and his face lit up when she walked in the room.

"Hello!" She called.

Seeing John's face when she walked in broke my heart a little.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and looked up to see her looking the same in an awful outfit, "Yoko, hi!"

"Sasha, I'm so glad you're here to work with John on the album. He really values your opinion. Why don't you stay for dinner tonight and the three of us can catch up? I'll cook, and we'll eat in the dining room," Yoko suggested.

I think she was actually being genuinely nice to me. I found it really hard to hate her when she's actually being nice.

"That sounds fine," I accepted.

I quickly regretted my decision as she walked over to John and wrapped her arms around his neck, "I missed you today, John."

"Missed you too," he mumbled into her neck before kissing it.

I watched as their lips met, and they practically started making out in front of everyone. I suddenly found it easier to hate her again.

I heard Klaus clear his throat. She pulled away from John and stroked his cheek with her hand, "We'll continue that tonight."

I watched as she trailed her hand down his chest to the front of his jeans and squeezed. My eyes bulged out of my head. Why would she do that in front of everyone? It was clearly to make me jealous or angry. It worked.

She kissed him once more and headed out the door. By now I was boiling with anger. I knew what I had to do. I had to make John as jealous as he made me.

"John," I said.

He looked at me, "Yes?"

"I think I'll take you up on your offer," I said, "I'd like to stay here. It would make it easier to work on the album.

 **Author's Note: So, Sasha's going to stay at John and Yoko's. I wonder what kind of trouble she's going to stir up. Let me know in the comments.**


	57. Chapter 57: Jealous Guy

**Author's Note: We miss you, John.  
**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 57: Jealous Guy**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **March 19, 1971**

After John and Phil showed me some of the songs that they've been working on for the past couple of weeks, I went to my flat to get enough of my belongings to stay at John's for a few weeks. I thought a lot about the songs I had heard. They were quite good, and I was proud of John for making the music that he wanted make after the Beatles. My brother had done the same, and he was doing quite well with his career.

That evening I got ready to meet John and Yoko downstairs to the dinner she invited me to. I was dreading it to be honest because, quite frankly, I had no intentions of getting friendly with Yoko. We had absolutely nothing in common expect for our taste in men of course.

I didn't have a hard time getting ready. In fact, I picked out the shortest dress in the closest to drive John crazy. I've been thinking a lot about him as well. I suppose that I could carry on doing what I did a few years ago at the studios. I could hold my head high and make John extremely jealous. I knew it drove him mad to see me in close proximity to another man regardless if I was his or not.

When I arrived in the kitchen, the lights were dimmed and there were candles burning on the table where three places were sat, two on one side and one on the other.

Yoko was at the sink and turned when I walked in, "Sasha! Just take a seat at the table and make yourself comfortable. John should be down any minute."

I didn't say anything to her. I just sat at the table and looked around the huge kitchen.

She made two trips back and forth to the kitchen counter to grab the three plates of food for me, her, and John.

She sat across from me and smiled, "Once again, I'm so happy you're working on this album with John. It means a lot to him to have your opinion."

"It's fine. I didn't know it was going to be John I was working with," I said, sipping my glass of wine.

"Oh," she laughed, "He only did that because he was scared you would say no of he had directly asked you."

I grinned.

Yoko took a sip of wine and cleared her throat, "You know, you should really let go of the past. Move on. John's a different man now."

That made me angry, "First of all, you didn't know John back then, so you have no way of knowing if he's different or not. Also, our past is between me and him."

She looked shocked that I had stood up for myself against her, "Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"Hello, hello, hello," John said as he walked in the room, "The meal smells delicious, Yoko."

I watched from across the table as John sat down next to her and kissed her sweetly. I found myself missing his kisses. We began eating after that, mostly in silence with some talk. Yoko would be extra touchy with John while I was talking about my life the past couple of years. I was telling them about going to Africa last year to film a music video and her hand slid into his shirt to caress his chest. She began kissing his neck.

I had barely finished my story when she spoke, "I think dinner's over," she smirked at John.

John's eyes widened and he stood from the table. I glanced at his jeans and noticed that he was a bit excited from the PDA that I had witnessed.

"I'll get someone to clean this up," she said, "It was nice chatting, Sasha. Goodnight."

"Night," I said.

"Meet me upstairs, John," she said as she walked to the door.

Yoko left the room, and John's eyes locked with mine. I couldn't quite read them. Then, he left the kitchen without so much as a goodnight.

* * *

I gripped the pillow to my ears to try and block out the sounds coming from the room next door. Yoko had so very kindly and conveniently placed me in the room next to theirs.

I heard Yoko scream out John's name, and I began plotting my revenge on him. Two can play this game, after all.

Besides, that piano player that John introduced me to this morning was pretty handsome.

 **March 23, 1971**

John was working on a song called 'Imagine', and Yoko was providing some awful advice on how she thought the song could be better. It didn't make sense of course. I was sitting next to Nicky, the piano player, with my arm interlinked with his. I had been flirting with him the past couple of days, making sure John noticed. I decided to wear my shortest skirts, and they seemed to turn heads.

"Can you hand me those matches on the table, Sasha?" I heard Nicky ask from beside me.

I reached for them and lit one, holding it up to his cigarette and making intense eye contact with him. I noticed John looking at us sitting so close together on the couch.

I was practically almost in Nicky's lap, and I laid my head on his shoulder as his hand moved to my leg to stroke it.

He was my first victim, of course. To make John jealous, I knew I would have to be like this with every man in this room, except maybe Klaus, but only because we've been friends for so long, and I could never play with his emotions like that. I knew the other guys just wanted to play, however. These rock 'n' roll guys were all the same, they only wanted one thing from the rock 'n' roll girls that would give it to them.

I moved my hand down Nicky's arm whilst John and Phil were discussing something about the bass in the track. I stopped my hand on the front of his jeans. He looked at me and smirked.

I whispered in his ear, "Follow me."

I stood from the couch and slipped from the room unannounced with Nicky close behind me. He pushed me into a sitting room, and his lips connected with mine. He backed me onto a couch while his lips trailed down my neck.

"Ever since you got here, I've been waiting for this. John said you were off limits, though," he told me in between kissing me fiercely.

"He doesn't own me," I said angrily.

I pushed Nicky back to a sitting position on the couch and got onto the floor in front of him.

* * *

"Where the hell is Nicky?" I heard John's voice say as we walked back into the recording room together.

I'm sure I had some great looking hickeys. John must've noticed because his eyes turned angry when he realized what we had been up to together.

My plan was working.

 **April 3, 1971**

A few weeks later, John threw a party for us at the house. I noticed that Yoko had left a few days before, and Klaus had explained to me that she went to Japan to visit some family.

I had a few drinks to put it lightly, and I had made out and danced with a few guys during the night. John was also drunk, I noticed. This would be the perfect opportunity to get my revenge on Yoko, but I was so tired and drunk, and I just wanted to sleep.

I slipped from the party and headed to my room for bed. I lit some candles to make it more relaxing in here. I might take a bath to unwind and sober up a bit. As I stripped from today's clothes, I felt lips on my neck. I knew instantly who it was.

His alcohol-ridden breath tickled my ear, "I've missed kissing you, mama."

I turned to face him, and was met with his lips on mine. It felt amazing to kiss him again after almost three years. I was thrust back into the feelings I had for him back when we decided to begin an affair. Maybe it could happen again.

"I don't like seeing you getting so close to me band," he slurred as he kissed down my neck once more, "I told them you were off limits. I told them you were mine."

"I'm not yours anymore, John. I can do as I please," I told him.

"You've been naughty," he slurred, "Tell me what you've done.

I smirked at him. I guess I would tell him if he really wanted to know, "I've given mostly of them mind-blowing blowjobs. I've let a couple of them touch me as well."

I could tell that John was fuming with jealousy

"You know, mama, there's no one that can make you feel like I can," he pushed me back onto my bed.

"Prove it," I smirked at him.

John kissed me again. I felt like crying. Here I was in bed with John at his home he shares with his wife, and I was letting him kiss me. There was a bit too much déjà vu going on for me right now. Since the time John and I had become friends again, he never flirted with me, or maybe I had never seen it before. Now, in this very moment, I looked back on the past few weeks and realized the way John looks at me and the way he hugs too close when I come down to the studio in the mornings with his hand almost on my butt. I was making him jealous by messing around with the guys in the band, but he's been playing with me as well. He has been flirting all this time, and I never noticed it because I was too busy getting my revenge on him and Yoko.

The candles were burning bright making a soft glow in the room. Then reality hit me hard when I realized that John's shirt was off and he was beginning to make an attack on my clothes.

He still kissed me passionately as he grabbed the bottom of my shirt and slid it up over my head. He made his way to kissing my neck while he undid his belt. I kissed him back the way he wanted me to as he unhooked my bra and unzipped my skirt. I reached down to unbutton his jeans; he slid them off along with his underwear. He pushed me so that I was lying on my back. His naked form hovered over me and he grabbed my skirt and panties and pulled them off.

The next thing I knew, John was making love to me like he used to in the old days. Here I was again thrust back into the world of living in the past. I promised myself that I wouldn't torture myself with my past life ever again, and now John was making love to me. It was just like it used to be, and I was suddenly afraid of the future.


	58. Chapter 58: It's So Hard

**Author's Note: Hi everyone! My semester is finally over, so I can start updating regularly again. Thank you to everyone that's been reading.  
**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 58: It's So Hard**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **April 4, 1971**

I woke up with a major headache and warm arms around me. I snuggled a little more into his chest and his arms tightened around me. I knew exactly what happened last night, and surprisingly, I wasn't ashamed. Actually, I wasn't so surprised. Lately, I had been rebellious and really become a different person than I was all those years ago. I know it isn't right to think of this as revenge, but honestly, anything that happens between me and John from this point out will be just messing around and having fun. I have a wall built up for him, and I'm not sure he could ever get past it. I just don't want him to hurt me again.

"Morning," he opened his eyes to look into mine.

I grinned at him, "Hi."

He sighed, "Are you mad at me? You just looked so amazing at the party, and I saw you walk up the stairs…"

I kissed him to shut him up, "I'm not mad. I had a good time at the party and a good time in here."

"I did too. I missed you, you know."

"I know, John," I said, gazing into his eyes.

A few moments of silence passed between us.

I spoke again, "We could have a little fun together, but this time it will have to end. After the record is finished, I'm going back to New York."

I could tell that John was thinking hard about it, "Um, listen, Sasha, I actually do love Yoko."

 _Ouch_ , I thought, "But loving someone has never stopped you before."

John groaned and sat up, "Sasha, I still have feelings for you, okay. Why do you think I tricked you into coming here in the first place? I wanted this to happen, but now that it has, I feel guilty."

"You finally feel guilty," I said, offended at his revelation.

He looked at me, and then lied back down beside me, "It's not the first time I've felt this way, you know."

More silence made its rounds in my bedroom.

"Listen, John. I'm not looking to break up what you and Yoko have. I'm not even going to fall IN love with you. I do love you, but I don't think I'm in love with you, you know? I just want to mess around and have some fun like we did in the early days," I told him.

John sighed, "I want to."

"Then jump, John. I won't bite."

"But that's the problem, Sasha," he groaned, "you will. It hurts to hear you say these things, that you're not in love with me anymore because I still am. I still stand by what I've told you for years. I fell in love with you on the porch swing at Paul's house back in '57, and I will never fall out of love. You may think that this isn't going to hurt, but it will hurt me when you leave."

"Don't let yourself get hurt, John, like you used to with Cynthia and even with me," I said, my voice dropping on the last bit.

John sighed for the umpteenth time, "Fine. I suppose it could be fun."

"You won't regret it," I said, climbing on his waist and straddling him, "When's Yoko coming back?"

"Not for a couple weeks," he said.

"We've got plenty of time to have together, then."

I began kissing him fiercely and moving my hips.

John pushed me away, "You're so different, you know."

"I guess I just learned that, in order to not get hurt, I have to not be like I used to be."

John didn't say anything, and we started kissing each other hungrily again. As he rolled me over to get on top of me, I wondered what he thought about the new me.

 **One Week Later**

We were in the studio listening to Phil give his opinion on finishing touches for a few songs. I was sitting on John's lap in my shortest mini skirt, kissing his neck. John had one of his hands on the small of my back, and the other one was rubbing up and down my thigh. We were like animals around each other after being deprived of each other for so long. Any chance we could get to touch one another, we did.

By now, the other band members and people working on the album knew about my arrangement with John. They knew I was seriously off-limits now because I was John's. They knew we were messing around with each other.

I was having fun watching their faces as me and John engaged in some inappropriate PDA during recording and mixing. I think Klaus was appalled, but I didn't care what people thought anymore.

Yoko was due back in a few days, but John promised me that our fun didn't have to stop just because she was here. We just have to hide it a bit more than we're doing now.

"Alright, boys," John said, "I think that's good for tonight. Tomorrow, I've got another guitarist coming, so we're gonna start working on a couple new songs."

Everyone started filing out of room. John and I were the last to make our way out of the studio, kissing each other the whole time. As we got to the bottom of the stairs, John picked me up bridal style and carried me to my bedroom.

Within ten minutes, our clothes were on the floor and our hands were roaming each other's bodies. I fell asleep in John's arms several hours after the fun we had.

 **The Next Morning**

I woke up alone and glanced at the clock. It read 10:45 a.m. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and decided to finally get out of bed after lying here for a few minutes. I got in the shower and dolled myself up for the day, opting for a short sweater dress and tights.

I made my way down to the kitchen for lunch before I went into the studio today. I was relieved to see that there was no one in the kitchen when I got there. I quietly fixed myself and sandwich and a glass of water.

I sat down at the table and began eating my lunch alone, and then I heard her. Yoko's voice saying John's name and talking to him about her trip. I thought she wasn't due back for a few days. I slapped my hand to my forehead and groaned in frustration. I couldn't help that she annoyed me to no end.

I saw her walk into the kitchen behind John, and behind her was a man in all blue jeans, looking at the ground.

"Morning, Sasha," John smiled at me a he came closer to the table, "Yoko's back early."

Yoko walked over to the stove and put a tea kettle on.

John was now standing in front of me on the other side of the table. He had an "up to something" smirk on his face.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I questioned.

John grinned, "This is the new guitarist that's working on the album with us."

He gestured to the man in all blue jeans. He was grabbing a tea cup from the counter. As soon as he turned around, I took an intake of breath. I know that my eyes were wider than saucers. I looked him up and down. I almost didn't recognize him with the scruffy beard and mustache that he was sporting now. I did, however, recognize those deep brown eyes as I connected with them.

"Sasha," he breathed out. I missed his voice.

I couldn't speak.

John chuckled, "So you two meet again. George really wanted to play on the album, Sasha."

I couldn't speak. I was having a hard time believing that George was standing in front of me again. The last time I saw him was when he walked out of Abbey Road Studios after my return from New York and our heartfelt conversation.

I was also angry with John. Why didn't he tell me that George was coming? He always knew how to push my buttons.

Everyone was staring at me, waiting for me to say something. I couldn't stand the awkward. I pushed my chair out from the table abruptly and fast-walked to the bathroom in the hallway outside the kitchen. Tears threatening to spill over that I couldn't let them see.

"Sasha," I heard George's voice call after me as I locked the bathroom door and began to cry for the first time in a long time.

 **Author's Note: Please tell me in the comments what you think Sasha is going to do now that George is back.  
**


	59. Chapter 59: Behind That Locked Door

**Something**

 **Chapter 59: Behind That Locked Door**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **April 19, 1971**

The bathroom door closed behind me, and my body shook with sobs as I sat down on the toilet lid. George couldn't be here, not now at least. What would he think of the relationship I was having with John yet again? What would he think of me? Also, Yoko was back, so it's not like anything that's happened between me and John the last couple of weeks will matter anyway. He'll probably act like nothing has happened at all.

"Sasha," I heard a voice that surprised me outside the door, "Do you mind if I come in?"

I was expecting it to be John. I was sure that he had some story rehearsed as to why he brought George here, but I knew the truth. It was just to torture me and remind me of the horrible decision I made all those years ago. Maybe he wanted to end the little affair we were having this way. The difference this time around was that I didn't have anyone waiting on me. I didn't have another man I went home to everyday. I was all alone. I suppose I deserve to be.

I sniffled, "Come in."

George walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. He knelt down in front of me.

"Don't cry," he said softly while stroking my hand.

Another tear dropped from my face and landed on his hand, "I'm sorry. It's just overwhelming to have you here right now."

"I'm only here to play guitar on a couple of songs. I didn't know you were here until John told me right before we walked into the kitchen," he explained, "Apparently, Yoko just got back from Japan."

I sighed, "Yeah, she was here before, and then she went away for a couple weeks. I actually thought she wasn't due back for a few more days."

"How long have you been here?"

"Since the album started in March. I was tricked into coming though," I paused, "Phil called me and wanted me to work with him for a new solo artist. He never told me the guy's name, and low and behold, I show up, and it's John."

George laughed quietly, "That sounds like him."

Something weird happened next. George and I just stared at each other for the longest time without speaking. There were still tears running down my cheeks.

"I missed you," I murmured, almost ashamed of my confession.

"The songs should be fun," he stated, "It'll be nice to have you around. I missed you hanging about."

It's like he didn't hear my confession at all, so I repeated myself louder, "I missed you, George," more tears cascaded from my eyes, "I miss you, even now. I can't believe I gave us up. I'll never find a love like that again. I regret it all the time. Maybe if I hadn't made that mistake, I wouldn't feel so alone. I didn't realize how much you meant to me until it was too late."

George dragged his thumbs under my eyes and didn't speak.

"Look at me, George," I cried, "I could have had the perfect relationship. I could've not been hurt again. What must you think of me? I don't even know what to think of myself. I'm so stupid."

George brought me into a hug and shushed my cries, "You're not a bad person. You made a decision that you thought was right at the time. Being in love or thinking you're in love doesn't make you a bad person."

"I'm sleeping with John," I confessed.

George pulled back from our hug, "Sasha, after all this time, you haven't learned that he'll just hurt you again."

"I'm not in love with him, George," I explained, "I'm not letting him in like that again. It's just sex."

George didn't say anything. He hugged me again. I missed his arms more than he knew. After a few moments, we both decided to leave the bathroom and head to the studio to get started.

I walked into the studio in front of George. John grinned at me.

George watched as John pulled me close and whispered into my ear, "Nothing changes between us, right?"

"No," I whispered back.

He grinned, "You alright?"

I nodded and walked over to take a seat on the couch.

* * *

In the weeks that followed George's return into my life, we became closer. I would even consider us friends again. I was finally completely comfortable around him. As for me and John, we were still able to sneak and sleep with each other a few times a week without Yoko suspecting a thing.

Soon, George had finished his guitar parts and wasn't needed anymore. His leaving hit me harder than I thought it would. A couple weeks before the album was finished, I found myself missing George more than I had before. I thought about him constantly, and I know that John noticed a change in my behavior. We had stopped sleeping around, and he could tell I was growing distant.

 **July 3, 1971**

It's been a month since we finished the album, and I hadn't spoken to John since the day I moved out of his house. I decided to stick around London for a while before heading back to New York. I had missed it.

It had been six weeks since I had last seen George, and he was all that I ever thought about these days.

With nothing to do now, I had decided to get dressed this morning and go eat a quiet breakfast at a local coffee shop. I left the shop after breakfast and drove around different parts of London just because I had nothing better to do.

I clicked on the radio after driving in silence for a while and a cheery announcer came on, "That was John Lennon's new song 'Imagine'. This is a fairly new song from another former Beatle; it's 'My Sweet Lord' by George Harrison."

The song started to play, and the instrumental in the beginning was very catchy. I knew that George had some solo stuff out, but I couldn't bring myself to listen to it.

It took all I had not to switch it off when I heard George's sweet voice begin to sing, "My sweet lord, my lord, my lord. I really want to see you…"

I couldn't believe I was sitting here listening to this. This song was good and George's voice reminded me of so much.

I heard a loud car horn sound behind and realized that I was going very slowly down the street. I put on my turn signal and pulled to the side of the road so I could continue to listen to the song without any distractions.

When the song was over, I had made my decision. I couldn't deny the fact that I still loved George very deeply, and I needed to see him again. I pulled back onto the road and made my way to Henley on Thames.

I pulled up to the gates of Friar Park, and they were surprisingly open already. I knew where George lived from reading it in magazines, seeing it on television, and John talking about how gorgeous his home was. When I pulled up to the huge house, I honestly could not believe my eyes. It was beautiful.

I saw George's various cars parked a little ways away at the other end of the drive. I sat in my car for a while contemplating if I should actually get out of the car.

I finally decided to at least get out of the car, so I grabbed my purse and walked up to the front door. Then I faced another dilemma, did I actually want to knock?

After standing there for about five minutes arguing with myself about whether or not to knock, I slowly lifted my arm and lightly beat on the door.

I stood there another few minutes and knocked again, this time harder when no one had answered.

The door opened to reveal a short, plump Latino woman, "Hello. Can I help you?"

She had a Brazilian accent, and it surprised me when she opened the door because I was expecting George.

"I, um, is George here?" I asked her quietly.

"Of course he is. Come in," she said.

I stepped inside the foyer and looked around at the lavish decorations as the lady shut the door behind me.

"Follow me," she said and began walking.

She led me into a living room that was probably the size of my apartment. There were grandiose decorations, Indian statues, and a few old guitars hanging on the wall.

"Sit down, make yourself at home," she smiled gesturing toward one of the large couches.

She smiled again at me, "You are beautiful, what's your name?"

"Sasha," I replied kind of freaked out by this strange lady staring at me.

"I'm Minnie. I'm the head housekeeper here at Friar Park. I'll go find George for you. I'm not sure where he went."

"Thank you," I said as she turned and walked out of the room, her orthopedic shoes squeaking.

I sat there for what felt like ages in agonizing mental pain. What was I going to say to him when he saw me? Would we hug or just awkwardly stand in front of one another?

"Sasha?" I heard a soft voice sound from the doorway.

I wasn't sure I wanted to look up, but I finally did. George looked healthy. He didn't particularly look happy, he looked kind of sad almost. His hair was long and looked like he hadn't combed it today. His scruffy beard was gone, and he wore just a plain mustache now. I stood from the couch and walked closer to him. His eyes were the same but sadder and less alive; I guess you could say the same about mine.

Suddenly, he brought me into his arms and it felt like he was never going to let me go. I breathed in that scent again. It got me every time. Honestly, I didn't want him to let me go, but when he did, he smiled at me, "I've missed you."

I looked at him; even though he looked different and older, I realized that it had been the same man all along. The same George that I helplessly fell in love with and might fall back in love with before the day is over.

"Are you going to talk to me?" George said giggling.

"I, I'm just overwhelmed right now," I said quietly.

"Take a walk with me," George said grabbing my hand and intertwining his fingers with mine, "We have a lot to talk about."

George and I walked hand in hand through the gardens of Friar Park, "George, these grounds are absolutely beautiful."

"Thanks," he said looking up at the bright sky and then back at me, "So what brings you here today?"

"I just… I was driving, and I heard your song on the radio, and I decided that it's about time I man up and come see you. I think about you all the time."

"I'm glad you said that because I haven't been able to think about anyone else but you since I left John's," he said quietly.

The sun was getting lower in the sky now and a shade of orange appeared to replace the blue.

George was silent for a while just walking me through the grounds until he stopped dead in his tracks, "Pattie left me."

I don't know what caused George to blurt that out because I knew as well as him that it was hard for him to talk about is problems with other people.

I brought him into my arms, "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault; it's mine. I shouldn't have even married her because I tried every way to escape without hurting her. That's why I got so involved in Indian culture; I feel like it distanced me from her, and it did. She was fed up with me, and I would be fed up with me too," he paused, "I slept with Ringo's wife hoping she would find out about it."

"You slept with MO?!" I said interrupting his story, "She didn't tell me that."

"I didn't want to, but it was only way to distance meself from Pattie. It's not like Ringo cared. He doesn't treat Maureen very well nowadays. And then that was it, she left me for me best friend," George explained.

"I don't know what to say," I said.

George sighed and began walking again, "She was the biggest mistake of my life. You don't know how I felt when I had gone through all that trouble to forget about you and marry her and you walked into the studio that day with John. I knew I had screwed up big time."

We walked for a little longer until we reached a small lake lit up with random lights around it.

"Remember when I told you not to live in the past, Sasha?"

I nodded at him.

"Well, that's exactly what I've been doing for the past few years because I haven't been happy. Now that you're here beside me it seems like I can be happy again."

"George I don't know what to say. I mean I've waited this long to finally come back and talk to you, and you're treating like nothing ever went wrong," I felt a tear crawl down my cheek, "I treated you horribly and you're sitting here telling me that you feel happy that I'm around you again. I left you, and I shouldn't have."

By this point, I was full on crying in front of George. He grabbed the sides of my face and brought me into the most passionate kiss I've ever experienced. The way his lips moved on mine brought back so many memories.

He pulled back and grinned at me, "I love you. I've always loved no matter what we've said or done to one another. I want to start where we left off and should have started back when you returned from America."

"Where's that George?" I asked looking deep into his eyes.

He spoke quietly, "Marry me…"

 **Author's Note: WHAAAAA?! What do you think Sasha is going to say? Please comment!**


	60. Chapter 60: If Not For You

**Author's Note: Merry Christmas!**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 60: If Not For You**

 **July 3, 1971**

 **Sasha's POV**

He spoke quietly, "Marry me…"

I was silent for a few seconds. I honestly did not know what to say. I had always wanted to start back where George and I left off. I didn't deserve this. I didn't deserve George standing here treating me as if I never left, as if it was still 1965, and we were standing underneath the palm trees in the Bahamas. I wanted this, though, I wanted to marry George. I had always wanted this.

"George," I sighed and looked down, "I broke your heart."

"I don't care," he said grabbing my shoulders forcefully, "I love you. No matter what we've been through, I've always loved you."

"I know, and I feel the same way, but it's going to be very hard to start back where we left off," I paused, "We're very different people than who we were six years ago."

"Why? Why does it have to be difficult Sasha?" George asked searching my eyes for an answer, "I know we've both changed, but my love for you is just as strong as it was back then."

I didn't have an answer to his question though, and I decided to look down at the ground to escape his piercing eyes.

George kissed the top of my head, "It doesn't have to be hard. We won't tell anyone; we can just go down to the courthouse tomorrow and get it over with."

"I can't get married like that George, you know how I am. I need some family there with me," I said quietly.

"I don't particularly get along with him anymore, but we can invite Paul if it makes you feel better," George pleaded with me.

I walked away from him a few steps, and then I turned back to face him, "I need time to think about this George. I'll tell you my decision tomorrow morning."

"Well, will you stay here tonight?" He asked me, his deep brown eyes had a way of staring into my very soul, "Just while you make your decision."

"I don't have any clothes," I told him.

"You can wear something of mine; it's just to sleep in," he said.

I smiled at him, "Alright, I'll stay."

George flashed me a big smile and then brought me into his warm arms, "You hungry?"

I nodded, and he wrapped his arm around my neck and walked me back up to the main house. He led me into a huge kitchen, and for just a second, I saw myself cooking in it. After George had fixed us dinner, he gave me a tour of the massive house. I saw myself living here; being so in love with George, I would be drowning in love. I couldn't believe I was next to him again.

"And this is my bedroom," George said leading me into a huge room.

I looked around and was astounded by it. A huge four poster bed dressed in elegant white bed clothes was the centerpiece of the room. There was a huge white couch with a chocolate brown blanket draped over the back of it sitting in front a fireplace that matched the one in the living room. There was a door by the fireplace that I guessed led to the master bathroom.

"George, this is a beautiful room just like the rest of the house," I complimented him.

"It took a while to restore. I'm still trying to finish it. When I got the house, they were going to tear it down, but I wanted to restore it because I saw the potential and beauty in it," George explained as I looked around the room.

"You always do that."

"What?"

I smiled at him, "You find the potential and beauty in everything."

"Sometimes it gets me in trouble," he chuckled.

We stare at each other grinning like idiots for what felt like a lifetime.

Finally George broke the silence, "I should probably find you something to wear for tonight."

"Tour's over?"

"You've seen almost every room in the house. There is the guesthouse and the studio left, but we have to go outside to get to those, and I believe it's raining now," he explained opening the bathroom door.

I followed George into the bathroom. He disappeared in a door to the left. I looked in there and saw him digging through a drawer in a huge walk-in closet. There was an identical door to the right, and I peaked in it. There were a few shirts hanging up and few pairs of women's shoes still in the floor. I guessed that it used to be Pattie's closet, so I closed the door quickly.

"Feel free to look around. You might need to use something in here tonight," I heard George say from his closet.

I walked back farther into the bathroom and found a huge Jacuzzi tub and a huge shower. I noticed that the floors were marble and the countertops were elegant gold granite. Double sinks were in the counters and gold fixtures were on everything. A separate area blocked by a wall was for the toilet.

George sneaked up behind me, "Here I found something that you might be able to wear just for tonight."

He handed me an old t-shirt that read "Liverpool Bus Service" and a pair of striped boxers.

"They're clean, I promise," he said as he handed me the underwear.

"I know," I said smiling, "I like this shirt."

"My dad gave it to me a while ago," he said.

I rubbed my arm, "I might need something warmer also."

"Oh, I have the perfect thing. Go ahead and change in that closet, and I'll get it for you," George said going back to his closet. I walked into Pattie's old closet and changed into George's clothes.

When I emerged from the closet, George handed me a cream colored sweater, "You might recognize it."

"I do," I said exchanging my clothes that I had on for the sweater, "I saw you wear this lots of times."

"It was my favorite sweater," he said placing my clothes on the counter.

"Come on, let's get cozy on this couch in here and listen to the rain," George said after I had put on the soft sweater.

George took my hand and led me back into his bedroom. I sat down on the white sofa as he started feeding wood into the large fireplace. I watched as the fire slowly roared to life. I watched George intently. I felt so comfortable being around him again. It was a comfortable that I couldn't quite get back when I was with John. He excused himself and disappeared out of the bedroom, and I unwrapped a blanket and put it over my legs. George came back with two glasses and a wine bottle. He poured some for both of us and handed mine to me and sat his on the coffee table in front of the sofa. He poked the fire once more and turned out the lights. George came over to sit beside me to drink wine. I rested my head on his shoulder. His arm enveloped me as I snuggled into him. God, I had missed him.

We sat in silence for a while, but it was a comfortable silence. I always admired that about my relationship with George. There was no need to go anywhere or rush along, we could sit in silence for hours just enjoying each other's company.

"I really missed you," I confessed after I had finished my second glass of wine.

George took my empty glass from my hand and sat it next to his on the table, "I missed you more than you know."

Another round of silence drifted around us until I spoke softly, "George, I want you to know how sorry I am for everything that I've done that may have hurt you. I was at such an odd place in my life, and I just lost control, I guess."

"I'm sorry too," his voice was almost a whisper, "I made you run and left you by yourself when you needed me the most."

"But George," I looked at him, "We can start over."

George stared into my eyes, "Can I kiss you?"

I smiled at him, "I'd be sad if you didn't."

George brought his face closer to mine, and just like that I fell back into the routine of kissing George. His kisses were so sweet and gentle, but there was a longing force behind them that made me want to kiss him forever. If only I didn't need to breathe. His scent, the George smell, awakened my senses and enveloped me just like his arms were. I loved him. I loved him more than I could love anyone in the world.

Soon, George brought his arms tighter around me and lifted me from the sofa. He carried me to the bed and gently laid me down. It was the softest bed I had ever laid on, and the blankets and pillows swallowed me in. George began kissing my neck while we ran our hands over each other's bodies. It wasn't long before our clothes were on the floor, and George was making love to me with the fire crackling and rain hitting the windows softly in the background of our moans. I fell back into this routine as well. Making love to George was always sweet and gentle but passionate. I was irrevocably in love with him, and no one could take that away from us.

After hours of grabbing at each other and making up for lost time, we fell next to each other to dose off. He gave me a light peck on the lips.

"Goodnight love," George said kissing the top of my head.

"Night, George," I said quietly.

Even after George was fast asleep and snoring peacefully, I was still pondering my options. After all, I did have a big decision to make.

* * *

In the morning, I looked up at George who was awake, staring at the ceiling, "George?"

"Yes," he said not breaking his stare at the ceiling.

I took a deep breath, "I want to marry you."


	61. Chapter 61: What Is Life

**Author's Note: Hi everyone! I hope that everyone that celebrates Christmas had a lovely day, and if you don't celebrate, then I hope you had a lovely day as well. Here's the next installment of Something! Thank you so much for reading!**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 61: What Is Life**

 **July 4, 1971  
**

 **Sasha's POV**

"I want to marry you," I whispered to him lovingly.

I had made my decision. There was no turning back now that I had spoken those words to him. A part of me couldn't believe that I was finally in here, telling George I loved him with his bare, strong arms wrapped around me so tightly. This moment had been brewing for six years, and the feeling that came along with it was disbelief and uncontrollable happiness. I never wanted this feeling to end.

I became a little nervous when George didn't reply. I hope he hadn't changed his mind in the middle of the night. I needed him more than anything right now, and I had needed him all along. I suppose you don't realize what you have until it's gone.

George sprung from the bed, "Wait here," he sang as he sprinted from the bedroom.

Whilst George was gone, I sat up and swung my legs over to dangle over the edge of the mattress. I looked in a mirror that was on the opposite wall. My makeup still looked surprisingly intact, just faded. My hair was a mess from last night's activities.

George walked back into the room with a grin on his face and his arms behind his back.

He stood in front of me, "I feel like I should do this formally again."

I smiled as I watched him kneel on one knee in front of me, "I've loved for a long time, and you know that. We don't have to talk about the past," he paused, "Sasha McCartney, will you marry me?"

I laughed, "Why are you doing this, George? I've already said that I want to marry you."

"Well," he grabbed my left hand in his, "I wanted to give you something."

I felt him slip a ring onto my left hand ring finger. I looked down to see so many memories, good and bad, staring back at me. It was the ring that George had propose to me with the Bahamas six years ago. It was the ring that I kept on my finger while I lived with my dying mother, and it was the ring I had kept until I gave it back to George on the day I returned to London five years ago.

I felt tears sting my eyes, "George, all these years, you kept this ring."

"Why would I get rid of something so special to me?"

I stood from the bed and kissed him as tears streamed down my face. George wrapped his arms around me and held me close. I loved him more than he knew. I knew that he was thinking the same thing. He pulled away and wiped my tears with his thumbs.

His eyes were also shining as he smiled, "Now let's talk business."

George and I climbed on the bed and faced each other. I kept glancing down at the ring. I couldn't stop looking at it.

He cleared his throat, "We need to go ahead and set a wedding date. I think that's one of the mistakes we made the first time around."

"I'll get married anytime, George," I smiled.

He smiled back at me, "Well, I'm doing a benefit concert with Ravi at Madison Square Garden in August, so maybe September?"

"September sounds nice," I smiled, "How about the second? The sooner the better."

"The second of September it is," George paused, "Listen, I know you do, but I really don't want a huge wedding."

I smiled, "I used to want a big wedding, but it really doesn't matter as long as we're married at the end of the day. We can do it at the courthouse if it would make feel more comfortable. I just have one request..."

George cocked an eyebrow at me.

"I want some family there."

He sighed, "I suppose that means your brother."

"George," I smiled, "Paul is going to be your brother-in-law."

He groaned and rolled his eyes dramatically, making me laugh, "Whatever went on between you two is long over with. Put the past aside."

He sighed once more, and I kissed him before hopping off of the bed, "Now I'm going to my flat to pack a few things, and I'm going to talk to Paul. I haven't seen him since I've been back in London."

 **A few hours later**

George kissed before I got into my car and made me promise I would be back as soon as possible. As I drove away I looked in the rear view mirror at George, who was standing where my car had been parked. I loved him and knew that our marriage was a long time coming. I had wanted this since my third or fourth date with George, back when were so young. Back when we had the whole world ahead of us, but now all of that seemed like a dream, like it never happened. Time moved faster than I thought and time was definitely something that I took for granted back then. I thought I had all the time in the world. I'm thirty now, and it just hit at this very moment that, when you really think about it, I don't have that much more time to be young at all. I had to do this; I had to finally marry George. This was something that I needed to do, something that I needed to do a long time ago.

I went home and packed a bag for a couple days before I officially moved in with him. I got cleaned up, left my flat, and drove to a house that I spent a lot of time in during my lonely days after the India trip. I felt nervous, but I shouldn't be nervous. It was only Paul. I just hadn't seen him in so long. I walked up to the front door and lightly knocked. I heard the shuffling of feet and the door opened abruptly to reveal my little brother that I had missed so much. I wrapped my arms around him to hold him close to me.

"Sasha, what are you doing here?" Paul asked me as I pulled away.

"I missed you," I said as he shut the front door behind me.

"You came all the way to London just because you missed me?"

"I did miss you, but I wanted to invite somewhere," I said getting nervous again, "I wanted to chat. Let you know what I've been up to."

"Firstly, come sit down for some tea," he said walking to the kitchen, "I missed you too."

We shared silence together while he fixed us some tea. There was something so comforting about this moment. I realized just how much I had actually missed life in England.

He sat down at the table with the tea, "I'm just going to cut to the chase. I know you were with John, helping him with his album, shagging him."

"Who told you?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Klaus," he sighed.

I knew what was coming next, so I decided to stop it before it began, "I don't need a big lecture, Paul. I haven't even seen John in over a month. I wasn't too attached. I was just having a little fun. Nothing would have come of it anyway, Yoko's got him brainwashed."

"Tell me something I don't know," Paul laughed, "Just be careful."

Another round of comfortable silence surrounded us while we drank our tea.

He sighed, "So, where did you want to invite me?"

"The court house, the one you and Linda got married at," I said suddenly.

Paul smirked, "Why?"

I sighed, "I'm getting married. On the second of September. I want my brother to be there."

"Sasha," Paul let out the breath he had been holding, "You're getting married? To who?"

"An old friend," I said.

Paul got up from the table, "Are you going to say who I think you are?"

"I was driving down the road, and I heard his song on the radio. I went to his house, and we decided to pick up where we left off," I explained.

"I'm not coming to see you marry George. I don't want you to get hurt AGAIN," Paul snapped at me.

I stood up, "I love him. I've always loved him, and I've always wanted this."

"I remember," he yelled, "I remember the huge thing that blew up. Your love triangle of hell with him and John. I remember, and I don't want you to go through that again."

"Paul, I won't go through that again. George and I should've done this a long time ago. You know how I felt when I came back to England after my mother died. I wanted him back, and now I've got him back. He's the only person I really belong with," I felt hot tears sting my eyes.

"You can marry him Sasha. You and George can do whatever you want, but I'm not coming to watch you set yourself up for heartbreak," Paul sighed, "He did a lot of mean things to Pattie. He didn't even talk to her much anymore because he was studying something about Indian culture every waking moment. I'm sorry. I can't watch you get into that."

"He's not like that anymore. He told me he didn't love Pattie, and that's why he did those things," I said with the tears finally falling from my eyes.

A long silence filled the room. Paul and I kept our gaze on each other, but he was getting blurrier and blurrier.

"Paul," I said and he looked up at me after looking away, "I need you there. You're the only family I've got left. I need you to be my brother again."

Paul walked toward me and pulled into his arms and rubbed my back softly.

"I'll be there, but just for you," Paul whispered quietly, "You deserve to finally be happy."


	62. Chapter 62: Beware of Darkness

**Something**

 **Chapter 62: Beware of Darkness**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **September 2, 1971**

I paced back and forth in the bathroom of the courthouse wondering if I was making the right decision. Everything between me and George had happened so fast this time around, but there was no need to drag things out. We already knew everything about each other. We had been in love all those years ago. I kept telling myself that everything was going to be okay, but a dark cloud loomed in the background of my thoughts.

I knew I was making the right decision by finally marrying George, but something about this day just didn't feel right. I heard the bathroom door open and then a familiar redhead was standing behind me in the mirror.

I turned around and practically jumped on her, "Jane! I cannot believe you're here. How did you know?"

"George called me yesterday, and I wasn't going to miss my best friend getting married for anything," she said back to me, "I'll just obviously keep away from your brother."

I smiled at her, and then I turned away. I took a deep breath, "I can't do this."

"What are you talking about? You've wanted this for years and years and you've finally gotten it," Jane said wrapping her arm around my shoulders, "You and George love each other and everyone knows it."

I walked to the other side of the bathroom, "Is Paul here?"

"Yeah, I think I saw him out there," she said.

I took a deep breath, "I think I'm going to go out there now."

Jane brought me into a hug, "You can do this. You know George won't hurt you. He loves you so much."

I took a deep breath once again and decided not to reveal to Jane that somewhere in the back of mind something was telling me that this was all wrong.

I walked out of the bathroom and saw Paul standing in front of me. I ran into his arms and hugged him close to me, "Thank you so much for coming," I whispered.

"You're my sister," he whispered back, stroking my hair, "Ready?"

I nodded and grabbed Paul's hand. A flood of nervousness washed over me as we walked toward the courtroom where the ceremony was being held. After all these years I couldn't believe I was actually going to finally make George mine.

I walked into the courtroom and saw George standing at the far end in a suit. He looked incredibly handsome and clean shaven just like the day I left him.

Paul slipped his hand out of mine, and I slowly walked toward George. When I got to him, he kissed my cheek and grabbed both of my hands in his. The grin on his face and the small tears shining at the bottom of his eyes as he looked over me made me want to break down right there and apologize for everything that I've ever done wrong to him.

The small number of guests that were there took their seats and quieted down as the officiant entered the room.

"Good morning. Hope everyone is having a good day so far," he smiled and opened his bible, "As you know we have gathered here to witness the joining of two very lively souls in matrimony."

I couldn't believe I was here and this was happening.

The officiant clutched his bible and cleared his throat, "George Harrison and Sasha McCartney are being joined together today. I believe from what their family and friends have told me that this should have happened awhile ago," he chuckled along with everyone in the room.

I thought back to 1965 and the mess that forever tainted my relationship with George. As the officiant droned on in the background, my mind wandered to my past. To John. To that whole mess of a relationship that happened. I told myself in the foreground that I was over it, that I didn't love John anymore, but as I stood in front of George at the altar, I realized that it was true. I loved John too, and I needed to admit that in order to finally start to get over him. Would I let him back in my life again if the opportunity presented itself? It's hard to say. It would take a lot of convincing on his part.

I heard my name and came back to reality quickly.

"Sasha, do you take George to be your lawfully wedded husband in the eyes of the royal court of The United Kingdom?"

"I do," I quietly spit out.

The officiant asked the same to George, and he smiled and said his "I do".

"You may kiss your bride, George."

George pulled me into his arms and kissed me sweetly.

George and I turned toward our peers as we were announced officially, "I know present Mr. and Mrs. George Harrison; husband and wife."

 **October 25, 1971**

Life as newlyweds was pure bliss for me and George. I realized and admitted that I should have done this a long time ago. I should have made things right between us. My thoughts of John were diminishing over time. I didn't know the next time that I would see him, and for the most part I didn't care. Part of me of me will always love John, but the past is the past. Besides, I think when I married George, I gave up every chance of being with John again.

I sat up in bed and looked at the sun shining through the white curtains. I looked around the huge room that I now call my own and grinned to myself. I could not believe that I was finally married to George. I got up and went in my new closet in my new bathroom to find something to wear. I pulled on some underwear and a bra and put on some sweat pants of my own and one of George's warm old sweaters. I walked back in the bedroom to find George standing also dressed comfy for today.

He came up to me and slid his arms around my waist, "I love you. You're finally all mine. I can do whatever I want to with you."

George started kissed up my neck. I giggled, "Am I your property now?"

"Pretty much," he said pulling away and grabbing me so he could lift me over his shoulder.

I laughed as George left the room with me dangling over his shoulder, "Where are we going?"

"Outside," he replied as we start to descend the stairs.

I glanced at a clock on the wall; it was almost noon. I really wasn't surprised that it was as late as it was. I had practically stayed awake all night.

George carried me through the living and out the back door to the grand gardens in the backyard. He set me back on my feet; I kissed him and grabbed his hand, intertwining my fingers with his.

He smiled at me as we were walking, "I love you."

I smiled back at him, "Love you too."

We went silent again and I just let George lead me around. We got to the small lake on the property and sat underneath the tree. We sat down on the soft grass on a blanket that George had brought out here for us. I sat in between George's legs with my back up against his chest and his arms wrapped around my waist. The breeze was cold in the shade of the tree, but with George's sweater on and his arms wrapped me it was just enough warmth so I wouldn't shiver.

"Did you ever think we would be sitting here like this, married, after all that's happened?" George asked me as he rested his head on top of mine.

"Honestly? No, I thought I would never see you again."

"Me too, and I was afraid how to go on living my life if I wasn't going to see you anymore. At least when the band was still together I could see your face occasionally," he said kissing the top of my head.

I felt George smile up against my neck as his hot breath and sweet kisses caressed it. I turned my head around and kissed him on the lips. George grabbed the bottom of the sweater I was wearing and pulled it over my head. I began to undress him too and pretty soon we were making love underneath the old tree by the small lake.

When it was over, George rolled off of me and lay beside me on the blanket. I looked up at the sunbeams coming through the openings of the leaves on the tree. I remembered back to when I was fully and truly happy with life as I slowly closed my eyes.

 _It was blurry at first but I could tell by the awkward stage of the boys' hair that it was 1963._

 _We were by the Mersey, and John, Paul, and George popped up from behind the side of George's new car. Their black suits contrasted against the bright blue sky. Ringo was filming beside me and I had my camera in hand ready to take pictures of my best friends._

 _Paul and George ran up me and brought me into a group hug with them._

 _"Sasha, film us while George drives his new car down the road," Paul said after George had already run toward his car to get in._

 _Ringo handed me the camera and ran toward the car. I filmed as Paul hung out the passenger side window screaming, and I got a close up of George as they drove past me._

 _They parked at the end of the road and got out of the car and started to walk toward me. I handed the camera back to Ringo. John grinned at me and walked away with Paul._

 _George and I sat down in the grass by a row of trees._

 _"We're about to be famous people Sasha," I heard George say in his heavy Liverpudlian accent._

 _"I know," I said smiling like an idiot at him._

 _He brought me into his arms, "We are going to be as big as Elvis. The best part is that we're doing this together."_

 _I stayed silent and George spoke again, "I'll never leave you. You mean too much to me."_

I opened my eyes to the sound of the wind rustling in the tree above me, "George?"

"Yeah," he said quietly.

"I wish someone would invent a time machine already."

"Einstein said it was possible, didn't he?"

"I don't know," I looked at George.

"Why do you say that?"

"I just thought of the time you were showing off your new car at that photo shoot by the Mersey," I told him about my flashback.

"I still have that car," he said smiling.

"You do? There are so many memories in that car."

"Come on, we'll go for a drive," he said helping me up.

We put back on our clothes and began to walk to the house.

"Why don't we just get cleaned up? I'll show you the small town of Henley on Thames and my favorite place to eat," George said when we got back to the house.

I smiled at him and ran to get dressed. I put on one of my old dresses; it reminded me of the one I had on in my flashback. George had the same idea as me because it looked like he had on some of his old clothes too.

I let George lead me out to the garage. We passed two cars that I didn't recognize and then I saw George's old blue Jaguar. Next to it was the car in my memory: the green Ford. I climbed the passenger seat as George climbed in the driver's side.

"I haven't driven this old thing in a while. I hope it still runs," he said turning the key.

The car shot to life and it sounded like it was in perfect condition. I looked around in the front seat and remembered all of it. George still had the small air freshener and the old picture of us hanging from the rear view mirror. As we left the garage I looked in the very familiar backseat.

George smiled at me, "Remember all the things we did in that backseat?"

I blushed as I remembered one of the times George climbed up the drainpipe near my window at my house and told me to come for a ride with him. We ended up parked somewhere in Liverpool in the backseat.

We left the long driveway finally and exited through the grand gates at the front of the property. We started driving down a winding road. On both sides of the road were tons of foliage and over the trees you could see down to the small town.

"My favorite part about living here is the scenic drive to the town," George said as he rolled down his window to let some air come in.

I rolled down my window as well and loved feeling the cool breeze through my hair.

I leaned my head on the opening of the window so that my whole head was out of the window as we drove down the hill. I could feel George smiling at me from behind.

I looked back at him. He had one hand on the steering wheel and the other one resting on the open window.

When we got to town, I looked around. The roads were still cobblestone and little storefronts lined both sides of the roads.

George parked in front of a small café and rolled up his window. I rolled up mine and George came around to open the door for me. We walked into the small café hand in hand and sat at a table. It was so old fashioned that this really made me feel like George and I were back in 1963.

I stared at him as he read from the menu. I hoped that nothing could ruin this perfect life that had finally made its way back to me.

 **Author's Note: What do you think about George and Sasha? Do you think she's really over John?**


	63. Chapter 63: Living in the Material World

**Author's Note: A little something you didn't expect.**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 63: Living in the Material World  
**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **June 30, 1973**

As soon as I stepped foot in the studio here at Friar Park, George turned to look at me, "I told you I would be in for dinner later."

I rolled my eyes, "I was just coming to check on you. I haven't seen you in weeks."

"Stop being dramatic, Sasha," George sighed, "I have a deadline for this album, you know."

I sat in a chair next to him in front of the soundboard, "What's going on, George?"

"What do you mean?"

I inhaled deeply and let the breath out in a quick sigh, "Why are you acting this way toward me lately?"

George groaned and stood from his chair, "I'm just trying to finish this album. Can I not do something without you up my ass?"

"Excuse me," I stood, "You're the one who's been acting this way. Marriage is a give and take, George. We have to work together, and we have to make an effort to prioritize and spend time together. I'm just trying to do my part as a wife."

"Sasha," he started pacing back and forth, "I'm sorry. Everything's just been so stressful and you won't leave me alone for five seconds."

I felt my face get hot. I couldn't let the tears come to my eyes. I couldn't show George or myself how weak I had become in the last couple of years.

"Fine George," I said through clenched teeth, "Your dinner's on the table when you're ready."

I started to walk to the door to leave, and George grabbed my arm, "Don't bother cooking for me anymore, Sasha. I won't eat the crap anyway."

"Screw you and your music, George," I shouted at him, "When did you become such a dick?"

I grabbed the handle of the door and swung it open. I looked back at George, fuming with anger.

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out!" George roared at me.

I flipped him off and slammed the door behind me. I fast walked back to the main house. I went into the kitchen and threw all of the food that I made in floor. If George wanted to play this way now, we could. Tears cascaded from my eyes as I broke plates and wine glasses. Pots and pans clashed around me to drown out the thoughts of hatred I had for my husband.

After I wrecked the kitchen, I retreated to our bedroom to sob silently to myself. Our marriage had been perfect for the first year and half, which I guessed was our honeymoon phase. That phase was over now, and the fighting had begun. I loved George with all of my heart, but there was something about him that was different than the George that I fell in love with all those years ago. I never expected this behavior with George. I never saw it coming. I was working so hard to keep this marriage afloat, but George's behavior change reminded me too much of the two times that John turned on me. I wiped my tears and wished that the old George would come through the door and hold me close like he used to.

* * *

The sky had turned a darker shade of blue after the sun had set in the horizon. I heard loud music from downstairs and the gradual build of voices. I walked out the bedroom, the music getting louder, and looked out of a front window at the driveway covered with cars. George didn't tell me he was throwing a party.

I made my way down the stairs and through the hordes of dancing and drunk people in my house without my knowledge or permission. Then I saw her, her arms wrapped around Eric Clapton's neck. Why was she here? Did George invite her?

"Sasha!" I heard my named being called and cringed. I was hoping no one would notice me.

I looked and locked eyes with him, "Hi Eric."

"Where have you been? George is throwing one hell of a party," he said holding onto Pattie's waist a little tighter.

I forced a grinned, "I wasn't invited."

"You're his wife," Eric laughed, "how do you work that one out?"

"He didn't tell me he was throwing a party," I said back to him.

"Welcome to married life with George," Pattie said slightly under her breath as if she didn't want anyone to hear.

I looked around the crowd, "Anyway, have you seen him?"

Eric frowned at my sad expression, "Try the kitchen."

I began to walk away before Eric got my attention again, "Oh, and Sasha, try to lighten up a little. You used to be so fun."

I ignored his comment and walked toward the kitchen. _I used to fun, huh? I've grown up and you should too._

When I walked in the kitchen, George had his back to me. He was sitting at the table with a group pf men and women that I didn't recognize.

"There's your woman, George," one of the men said as I approached the table.

George turned to me with red and bloodshot eyes, "Lovely for you to finally join me, darling," he slurred.

"You're drunk," I pointed out.

George laughed, "I'm a little more than drunk, darling."

I looked down at the table and saw lines of white powder in front of him. The breath felt like it was knocked out of me. It was happening again. I should have seen it coming with the behavior change and the distance. Drugs were going to ruin another relationship. They were going hurt me again, and I had to get out of here before I got hurt for the same reasons again.

Without a word, I ran to our bedroom and began to pack my things. I couldn't stick around and get hurt again on a count of drugs. Not for a third time. Just as I was closing my suitcase, George stumbled into the room.

"What the hell are you doing?" He slurred.

I brushed past him with my suitcase and my keys. I ran down the stairs and out the front door with George hot on my tail.

"Sasha, don't leave. Don't leave me again," he pleaded from behind me once we were outside.

I took a deep and turned to face him. Pattie and Eric had made their way outside to either check on us or watch the show.

"George, I'm tired of putting in all the work, and this was the last straw. I don't want a divorce, okay? I don't want it to be that way, but you have to make a decision," I explained, "I'm not going to keep getting hurt for the same reasons, George. So, I'm leaving for a little while, and I want you to think things over."

He was silent as he stared at me.

I looked him straight in the eyes, "It's either me or the cocaine."

 **October 9, 1973**

It's been three months since I left George to think about what was more important to him, and I haven't heard from him since. I hoped that he was working on his addiction before returning back to me instead of partying and fueling his addiction even further. Time will tell, I suppose. Not a day went by that I didn't think about him and his love. I missed him so much, but I just couldn't get hurt again by drugs, so I retreated. I ended up at my apartment in New York. It was the only place in the world that felt safe and peaceful to me right now.

The phone rang, and I picked it up quickly, "Hello?"

"Hi, Sasha, it's Ringo," he spoke into the phone.

I suddenly remembered how much I missed his friendship, "Hi, Ringo. How have you been?"

"Fine, listen, I heard you were in New York. I just left New York, and I was wondering if you could do me a favor?"

I smiled, "Anything."

"First of all, George told me about the break you two are taking."

"He did?" I sighed.

Ringo sighed into the phone, "Yeah, and I just wanted to let you know that I think you did the right thing, and I understand why you did what you did."

"Thanks Ringo. That means a lot coming from you."

There was a long pause until he spoke again, "Back to why I really called you. Listen, I'm worried about John."

"Are you really talking to me about John? And why are you worried about him? He's a big boy, he can take care of himself."

Ringo let out a breath, "Do you not know what happened?"

"What?" I said, "I haven't spoken to John in two years."

"Oh, you have a lot of catching up to do then," he said, "When he found out that you had married George, he started acting all distant from Yoko. In an attempt to save their marriage, she suggested that they move here to New York. It worked at first, but John started going out on Yoko and treating her like she was invisible. He's cheated on her several times since they've moved here. A month or two ago, she kicked him out, and he was okay at first, but now he's distraught."

"What does this have to do with me?" I interrupted him, "This sounds like its between him and Yoko."

Ringo spoke again, "Listen, we're all worried about him. No one has seen or heard from him in three weeks. Some of us tried to go to the little apartment he's staying in, but he tells us to go away when we knock and he won't come to the door."

"What do you want me to do?" I argued, "I'm not walking into his messy life."

"I'm just asking you to stop by the apartment and talk to him. I think that you're the only person that can help him right now. Please, for me," Ringo pleaded from the other line.

I couldn't just walk back into John's life and allow the possibility of just getting hurt even more. However, I had successfully put up a wall to him during the recording of his album. I didn't fall back in love with him. He did need help.

I sighed into the phone, "What's his address?"


	64. Chapter 64: Out the Blue

**Author's Note: Thanks to everyone that has been reading and voting! I appreciate you so much!**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 64: Out the Blue**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **October 9, 1973**

I exhaled the deep breath I had been holding since walking up these dark, dingy stairs. I walked down the long hallway at this rundown apartment building that John was apparently staying at. I was nervous to see him again for the first time in two years. What would we say to each other? I didn't really have anything to say to John, not after all of these years. I got to the door that held John on the other side. My palms grew sweaty as I slowly brought my arm up to knock on the door. My hand finally formed a fist and gently beat on the door.

"Go away," I heard his voice from the other side.

I took a deep breath. Did I really want to do this? Did I really want to walk back into his life and let him walk back into mine? I quickly thought about my current situation. I had nothing to lose, and I had missed him. However, I knew there would have to be some boundaries.

I beat on the door lightly again, "John. It's me. Sasha."

A few seconds passed before I heard the unlocking of deadbolts and locks. The door slowly cracked opened slightly revealing his hazel eyes, which had that green tint that I had missed so much. Once he was sure that it was me, he opened the door fully. We stood in front of each other, looking over one another. John looked tired and thin. He looked like he hadn't slept or ate in weeks. I wondered why he was acting this way over Yoko.

He let out a deep breath, and the smell of alcohol hit me in the face. I grinned at him. I was at a loss for words finally being here in front of him.

His eyes were shining like he was about to cry, but no tears fell. He sighed again and brought me into his arms finally. I relaxed into his arms that wrapped tightly around me. I didn't need to lie to myself. I had missed this especially.

After a few moments of embracing, he backed away and looked me over again.

"John," I breathed out, "How have you let yourself get like this?"

He looked down at the ground, "Come in."

I followed him into the tiny apartment and shut the door behind me. I wasn't surprised to see ashtrays and empty beer bottles laying around the living room and kitchen. He plopped down into a chair across from the couch. I sat on the couch and looked around.

"It's not much, but it's a roof over my head. Besides, I like the Village. It's a nice change from the Upper West Side," he spoke quieter than he usually does.

I smiled at him, "It could use a good cleaning."

I watched as he took a swig from a beer bottle and lit a cigarette.

"John," he looked up at me, "When's the last time you ate something?"

He blinked slowly, "Don't worry about me, Sasha love. I'm fine."

"You don't look fine," I told him, "This is the worst I've ever seen you. What happened with Yoko to make you this way?"

He stood from the chair and rubbed his hand across his forehead, "She's not you, Sasha."

"John, please, it's been so long. Get over me," I told him, "I've moved on. Why is it so hard for you to?"

He sat next to me, "I can't get you out of my damn mind. You married George, and no one bothered to let me know. I went out of my damn mind when I found out, Sasha. I've really lost you now. Then, I couldn't stop thinking about you. It became apparent to me that I can't ever get the feeling you give from anyone else. Yoko's not you, and those women that I cheated on her with aren't you either. I've searched the whole damn world to make me feel like what we had, and I've just gone even more mad. I can't find it. I never will. It has to be you. It's always you."

By the end of his speech, there were tears rolling down his cheeks. I wiped them away with my thumbs. I was worried about him. I knew that he had been living this way for awhile from what Ringo told me. I couldn't help but to feel guilty about his situation. Because of me he was this depressed and living in filth like this. It was his birthday as well, which made me feel even worse.

I had to make it up to him somehow, "Come with me. Get some of your things, and come to my apartment. You need to shower, and I'm going to cook you something. You can stay with me until you're better."

"Alright," John agreed quietly before exiting the room.

When John appeared back in the living room with a bag and his guitar case, he followed me out to where my driver was waiting for me. The car ride to my apartment was silent. John was just looking at the floor the whole time. I kept my eyes on him, however, and it was killing me to see him so sad. The elevator ride was silent as well, and when we entered my apartment, John quietly followed me up the stairs.

I led him into the guest room, "You stay here until you get back on your feet."

"I can't stay with you," he pleaded.

I sighed, "I don't think that's a good idea, John."

He looked at the ground sadly again as he sat his things on the floor.

I decided to change the subject, "Why don't you get settled and take a shower? I'll call you when I have dinner ready."

He didn't say a word to me as I left the room. I made my way to the kitchen trying to hold back the tears. I took a deep breath and shook them away. I decided on making him a special dinner. It was his birthday after all.

When the food was done, I called up the stairs for him. I took my seat at the kitchen table and waited patiently for him.

"Sasha," he walked into the room looking clean and refreshed, "It smells like Mimi's in here."

I smiled at him, "Come sit down. I made her scouse recipe."

He fast walked to the table and began shoveling the stew into his mouth, "Just like home."

"I thought I would make you something special. It is your birthday."

"You remembered," he looked into my eyes.

I laughed, "Of course I remembered. How could I forget your birthday?"

He shrugged and went to get seconds. As I watched him finish that bowl and go back for thirds, we started to loosen up some more around each other. The conversation picked up and hardly ever faltered.

"So where's your husband, Mrs. Harrison?" John smirked at me.

I smiled at him, "We're taking a break."

"What did he do to deserve that?"

I sighed, "He started acting like marriage was too much work. I was tired of being the last to know all his secrets. He's addicted to cocaine apparently, and I'm making him think things over and hopefully get over his addiction. The behavior was all too familiar, and so I ran before I could get hurt over the same reasons for the third time."

It was silent until John finished his third bowl of scouse and spoke, "He'll soon realize what he lost when he messed up and come crawling back to you. I hope it's not too late for him like it is for me."

His stare was making me feel awkward, so I jumped up from the table, "I made your mother's vanilla cake recipe. Happy Birthday."

I sat the cake down in front of him and returned to my seat. He cut me a slice and then cut himself one. I watched as he tasted it. He closed his eyes for a few moments and when he opened them, a couple tears escaped down his cheeks.

"It is like Julia's," he whispered.

"I thought it would be nice."

John didn't speak the rest of the time he ate his cake. When I was finished, I cleaned the kitchen and made my way to the living room. I was aware that John was following me. He switched on the radio before he sat beside me. We got to talking about his mother and Mimi and good times in Liverpool. They were the memories that were making us laugh. The music was the background noise that we needed. In one way or the other, we got up to dance. John helped me move the furniture so we could have more room. He twirled me around, and for the first time in awhile, we were both laughing.

"I haven't danced in years, Sasha," he laughed.

I smiled, "We used to do this all of the time."

He twirled me around some more. I busted out laughing as he dramatically dipped me.

He held me in the dip while he spoke, "You have no idea how much I've missed you. I know you don't want to hear it, but I love you."

"John," I warned.

He brought me up from the dip and held me close. Our faces were inched apart, and suddenly his lips were on mine.

Abruptly, I pulled away, "We can't do this."

I wiggled out of his arms and made my way up the stairs. He was calling after me, but I ignored him. I let myself get too comfortable for too long. I couldn't let this happen again. I couldn't let him hurt me again. I went into my room and shut the door and locked it. I quickly got ready for bed and lied there awake. It had been half an hour since John kissed me. I heard the door to his room slam and something being kicked. I listened as he started cursing. After a few moments, the cursing turned to sobs. Tears rolled from my eyes as I heard John's sobs from the other side of the wall.


	65. Chapter 65: Mind Games

**Author's Note: Thank you for reading!**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 65: Mind Games**

 **October 10, 1971  
**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

It had been another half hour since I heard John go to bed in the guest room. He was still sobbing, and I felt so sorry for him. I knew how much he was hurting because that had been me after Hamburg. I had wanted John there to hold me so badly after the anger from what had happened subsided, but he wasn't there, and he never showed up. I rose from my bed and decided to go give John a hug. I figured it would help him stop the crying. I walked slowly down the hall. My mind was set on keeping a wall up between me and John. I just couldn't deal with the pain of losing him again, and I had a feeling that no matter how much he claimed he loved me, as soon as Yoko called his name, he would go running back to her. It's like she has him brainwashed.

I quietly opened the door to the darkened room and padded across the carpet to the bed. I climbed in next to him and brought him into my arms. He reached at me through his sobs to hold me tighter.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he whispered through his tear-stricken voice.

I sighed and rubbed his back lightly. I was in for a rough time. Why did I have to go and let John back into my life? It was complicated enough at the moment without him.

* * *

When the sun shone through the curtains, I awoke. I was still tightly wrapped in John's arms. I wiggled free of them and headed to the kitchen to make some porridge for breakfast.

"Sorry for last night," I heard his voice from behind me as I was stirring the porridge around in the pan.

I turned to look at him. He looked awful. His cheeks were red and his eyes puffy.

I sighed, "It's alright, John. I just need you to understand something. We can't go back to what we had. I already gave you your second chance, and you hurt me again. It's never going to work between us."

"I know it can, Sasha," he pleaded, "I've been in a living hell ever since we recorded the album a couple years ago. I know the sex meant nothing to you, or you claim that it meant nothing to you, but to me it was just like back in Liverpool when we were so in love."

"John, we're not sixteen year old kids anymore. We're grown people in our thirties with grown up problems. My marriage is falling apart. I can't do this with you too."

John stepped closer to me, "It doesn't seem like George is coming around anytime soon."

"That's not fair," I breathed, "I'm giving him time and space."

He hit his hand to the counter causing me to jump, "Well give me some time, damn it!"

"I have, John," I reached to switch off the porridge so it wouldn't burn, "I've given you so much time. I gave up my relationship with George the first time around to be with you. I cheated on him with you. I can't do that again."

"I promise you that I will treat a hundred times better than he's been treating you. I would finally know what marriage is supposed to be like, and you will too."

Tears surfaced in my eyes, "It's too late, John. It's too late."

John brought me into his arms, "Just let me prove that I love you more than anyone and anything on this planet. Give me another chance. Please. After all these years, I've finally grown up and realized what I've been missing."

A tear escaped my eye, "John, I want to. I really do, but I don't want to get hurt again."

"Sasha," John pulled away from me and looked into my eyes, "While you're giving George some time, give me some too. Let me show you how I've changed my view on all of this. Just let me prove to you that we can have our happy ending."

"John," I sighed and wiped my tears, "I don't know what to do."

"Come to Los Angeles with me," he said.

"What? Los Angeles?"

John grinned, "Yes, my friend Harry found a house out there. Ringo will be there as well. I'm going to start working on some new music out there. Come with me, and let me prove to you that this can work again."

"I don't know, John."

"Sasha, you've got nothing to lose. If you're unhappy, you can leave whenever you want."

I thought about it. John was right. I didn't have anything to lose, and a little adventure in Los Angeles was better than sitting in this apartment alone 24/7.

"Alright, John, but one wrong move and I'm packing," I agreed.

"Fine, just promise me you'll give this a chance," John smiled, "We'll leave tomorrow."

* * *

We stopped in front of a rather large house right on the beach. We had finally made it to California. It had been awhile since I had been out here, and I quickly realized that I had missed the sun, sand, and relaxing nature of the place. The flight out here was longer than I remembered, but it was nice to sit next to John on a plane again. I was starting to warm up to him again and notice the little things that I used to enjoy about him. I wasn't, however, entirely convinced that he was going to prove to me that he was changed enough to make a serious relationship work. Besides, he would have to tear down the wall I built first before I would even consider falling in love with him again.

John grabbed my bags for me, and followed him into the house. He led me to the master suite bedroom. It was gorgeous and had a absolutely stunning view of the beach and the ocean in the distance.

"Harry told me that this is the house that Marilyn Monroe and John F. Kennedy had their affair, and this was their bedroom," he laughed, "It's ours now."

"Isn't there another room I can stay in?" I asked him. I knew it would push his buttons.

He turned to me and raised an eyebrow, "No, there's not. You're stuck with me, mama."

Shivers went down my spin at the old nickname he would call me. He hasn't used it since the sixties. I watched as he began to unpack his things. He was more grown up now. I could tell that now, but there was still that teenage John in there somewhere that probably showed through a lot more when he's drunk.

He stopped unpacking and returned my stare, "Can I help you with something?"

"Uh, no, I was just," I stuttered, embarrassed that he caught me admiring him.

He smirked at me and continued unpacking his things.

* * *

That night, I washed my face and changed into a silk nightgown in the bathroom. John was already lying in bed.

"What did you think of Harry?" John called to me from the bedroom.

I dried my face off with a towel, "Oh, he was nice. You said he was a musician?"

I walked out of the bathroom while John answered me, "Yeah, he does...Mama, I forgot how much I missed your sleeping attire."

"Watch it, John," I warned, "and stop staring."

"How can I? I've been deprived of this for all these years. I don't know how I lived without it."

I rolled my eyes, "Stop being dramatic."

I climbed into the bed reluctantly. I didn't want to share the bed with him. I sat as far away from him as I could.

"Do I stink or something?" He asked, "You might as well sleep in the floor, Sasha."

I scoffed at him.

He laughed and slid closer to me, "If you're going to let me prove to you that I can be a decent husband for you, you're going to have to give in at some point. I know you want me, Sasha."

I looked at him about to say something about his appalling words when his lips made contact with mine. He kissed me fiercely. I felt my body go weak as I let him control me. His kisses were too much to handle, and I hadn't remembered them being this good. He made an attack on my clothes as I did to him, and soon I was letting him work over me and make me feel things that I hadn't felt in awhile. I couldn't give in completely, though.

An hour or so later, John collapsed beside me, panting heavily, "Sasha, that was better than I remember. The way we make love..."

"It was just sex, John," I said quickly. This was my way of keeping my distance.

I turned away from him and faced the wall to fall asleep. Before I drifted off, I thought I heard John choke out some tears.


	66. Chapter 66: You Are Here

**Something**

 **Chapter 66: You Are Here**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **October 29, 1973**

I put my earrings on as John left the bedroom without saying a word to me. Ever since our first night here in California, he's been speaking to me less. I felt a little bad for what I said about our first night here, but at the same time, I felt like I was giving him a taste of his own medicine. I know that revenge or retaliation isn't the best way to go about doing things, but I just couldn't help myself. I did care about John, but it would take a lot for him to prove to me that he was serious, and so far, his convincing wasn't going too well. How do you expect me to fall in love with you when you're not talking to me?

I was hoping that tonight I could loosen up a little. John's album was released in the US today, and he invited me to the after party at a local club called the Troubadour. It had been awhile since I had gone out to clubs and got a little reckless. I was expecting John to get smashed as well considering his past reputation at night clubs. I would be keeping an eye on him, and he knew that. He probably thought that his behavior tonight would determine if I stuck around with him.

I looked in the mirror after I put on my heels and straightened my mini dress out. I strutted out of the bedroom and into the living room.

"Woooweee, Ms. McCartney," Harry said, grabbing hand and spinning me around.

Harry Nilsson was also a musician, and from what I could gather, John's new best mate.

"Thanks, Harry," I said, placing my hand on his chest as he pulled me close.

John cleared his throat, "Are we ready to go then?"

Harry and I nodded. John let Harry walk out the door in front us while he made me stay behind with him.

"Listen," he placed his hands on my upper arms, "I'm sure some reporters will be there, but you're my date tonight. Okay?"

I nodded. I instantly thought of George. What would he think when he saw me sitting next to John in the papers? I suppose he deserved it though, after what he's put me through the last few months.

When we arrived at the club, John told us that the record company had offered to pay for all of our drinks.

Harry, John, and I wandered over to a table in the back with a group of people that the two men seemed to know. John introduced me to everyone, but I could care less about their names. John was acting surprisingly pleasant. It was a strange sight from the John that usually came out when we were in a place like this. The music was loud from the people performing on a small stage, and extra noise was added with the sound of everyone's individual conversations. I guessed that John really was upset about what I had said to him, but I had to keep my distance.

I wanted him to loosen up a bit though, "John, can I get you something to drink?"

"The waitress will come around in a few," John said, practically pushing me off to continue talking with his friends.

I placed my hands on his shoulders and began to massage them, "I just wanted you to loosen up a little. You seem so tense."

John shrugged his shoulders to get me to stop touching them, "I'm anything but tense, love."

I rolled my eyes and turned to face the entirety of the club. People were dancing and drinking to the band that played on stage. It reminded me a little bit of the clubs in Liverpool, and that made me sad. John was acting so differently, almost like he didn't want me in L.A. wit him anymore.

Finally, the waitress came around and took everyone's drink order. I opted for some rum and coke, whilst John ordered a beer.

When she came back with the first round of drinks, Harry ordered some shots, "Me and lady are gonna have a little competition," he told the waitress.

"Haha, Harry, I can't," I laughed as his suggestion, "But if you insist."

The waitress brought a tray of shots back to the table, Harry lined them up in front of us.

"You don't have to do this," John said close to my ear.

I scoffed at him, "I'll do whatever the hell I want."

Harry pushed a shot glass toward me, "Ladies first."

I threw the shot back quickly as everyone cheered. Harry and I went back and forth throwing shots back until the cheering became blurrier. My vision was going a little as well.

"Sasha," John said as I was about to take another shot, "you need to stop now."

I laughed, "I'll stop when I'm dead," I slurred.

A few hours later, I couldn't even remember my name as Harry and John seemed perfectly fine to me and were helping me into the back of the car that drove us here.

 **John's POV**

"Has she ever been this way before?" Harry asked from across from us in the back of the car.

He had done the shot contest a little while ago and hadn't anything to drink since, so his buzz was wearing off. Sasha, on the other hand, had been downing the drinks all night. I had a couple a beers and a couple shots, so I wasn't anywhere close to where Sasha was. I think she was doing this to cope with all of the emotional stress that she's been under. I flash backed to the first night we performed in Hamburg again after Stu had died. She got this way then too.

"Yeah, she has," I said quietly.

Sasha was resting her head on my shoulder with her eyes half closed. She could barely hold her head up on her own. I knew she wouldn't remember this part of the night.

"Are you alright, man?" Harry asked, "You been kind of distant the last couple of weeks."

I looked out the window at the city moving past us, "I don't know. You know I told about wanting to win Sasha back? I want to show her that I have grown up and changed, and that I will really work at it this time. I thought that this would be a little bit easier, but it seems as if she's written me out of her life completely. The first night we were here, she told me that what we shared that night didn't mean anything to her. I hate to get all sappy on you, but that broke my heart."

"John, you being distant and not speaking to her isn't going to make her fall back in love," Harry offered.

I sighed, "You're right. It's just frustrating when I've been the one that's been in love with her the whole of the sixteen years that I've known her, and some of that time, she hasn't felt the same way."

By this time, Sasha had slid down to my lap and had her head resting on it, fast asleep. I stroked her hair.

"Can I let you know what I think?" Harry asked, "I think she's in denial. John, I know you don't see it, but the way she looks at you is incredible. I noticed her looking at you that way tonight, and you just pushed her away every time she tried to get closer. I think she still loves you, but she doesn't want to admit it because she's afraid that you're still the same person you were all those years ago. I think that the longer she's here, the more she'll realize that you actually are who you say you are now."

"I love her," I said looking down at her, "I love her, and she means more to me than she knows. She's my sweet bird of paradise and paradox, always."

The ride was silent the rest of the way to the house. When we finally parked in the drive. I carried the sleeping Sasha into the bedroom and lied her down with a kiss.

 **Sasha's POV**

I walked into the kitchen rubbing my aching head. My decisions last night were definitely poor. I plopped down at the table with groan, trying to remember what exactly happened last night.

"Morning," John said, setting a cup of tea in front of me.

"Did something happen between us last night? You're acting quite chipper," I stated.

John's smile faded as he turned away from me, "You'll be happy to know that answer is no. Nothing at all happened."

He sat a plate of eggs in front of me and started to walk out of the kitchen.

"Wait," he turned toward me, "John, would you sit with me?"

He slowly walked to the table and sat down next to me. He sighed, and I began eating my eggs.

After a few moments of silence, John cleared his throat, "Sasha, we need to talk."

 _Here we go,_ I thought as I looked down at my scrambled eggs.

"Listen," he said, "I brought you out here to prove to you that I'm serious, and that I know that this could finally work. I don't want you completely pushing me away. You'll have to open up just a bit to let me show that I love you. I'm thirty two fucking years old now, Sasha. I don't have time to waste away the rest of my life thinking what could have been between all the relationships I've screwed up and all the people I've hurt. The main one is you, Sasha. I won't give up until you're back in arms for good, right where you're supposed to be. And you telling me things like you did the first night we were here isn't helping."

"What do you want me to say, John? Do you want me to lie to you?" I shot back at him, "The sex wasn't that good. It wasn't how I remember. It's like you were just going through the motions to see if maybe I felt something. If you want me to fall back in love with you, start acting like care about me as much as you say. Kiss me like you used to. Make love to me like you used to. Not how Yoko has trained you to do it."

He sat silently for a few minutes. There were tears in his eyes. I grabbed his hand.

"Sasha," he said quietly, "Undo what she's done. Please. Make me a better person. Be with me. Fall in love with me."

"John, I'll do those things as soon as you prove to me that this is what you really want. You can say that you want to be a better person, but it doesn't do anything. All the talk doesn't do anything."

"I invited Julian to come out here after Christmas. I called him when I got up this morning," he said suddenly.

I smiled, "That's great, John. I was going to ask you the last time you've seen him. You know that he does visit George and I a few times a year."

"He loved you a lot, Sasha," John said before taking a long pause, "When I was with you, back in the sixties, and you lived at Kenwood with me, you made me a better father to him. You really did. I haven't seen him in two years, and I'm so nervous to see again, but I think we can get along this time. I know it's because you're here instead of Yoko. He doesn't really like Yoko."

"No one really does, John," I said, immediately ashamed of it.

John didn't say anything until I had finished my breakfast, "Sasha?"

I looked up at him, "Yes, John."

"I've also been speaking on the phone with your brother."


	67. Chapter 67: Whatever Gets You Through th

**Author's Note: It makes me so very happy that everyone is enjoying the story and voting! Please let me know what you think about the chapters in the comments.**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 67: Whatever Gets You Through the Night**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **November 30, 1973**

John and I stumbled through our bedroom door at half three laughing at the way the taxi driver kept begging us for autographs. It was a silly thing to laugh at, but John and I had had a few drinks at a local nightclub, and at this point, anything was funny.

John shut the door and locked it. He placed a few tender kisses on my lips. Ever since our chat a month ago, I decided to warm up and let him in little by little. His efforts to get Julian out here to see him were part of the reason that I was convinced that John was really changing for the better. We were having fun, and I was finally seeing glimpses of the old John. The old John would make me laugh like this as we were stumbling home from a night out. These days in California were really reminding me of our days in Liverpool when we were so young and had the whole world ahead of us.

He kissed me again, making my knees go weak. His kisses were slowly getting back to the way he used to kiss me. There was a toxic familiarity to them that I was having trouble staying away from. His tongue slipped past my lips as we sat down together on the edge of the bed. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he moved his around all over my body.

The only thing that hadn't changed since our talk was our intimacy. We hadn't slept together since the first night we arrived in California. To be honest, I was quite nervous about it. I knew John would step up his game considering that I told him that it hadn't satisfied me like it used to.

I moved my hands to the buttons on his shirt as he continued to kiss me. I couldn't believe my actions as I began to unbutton them one by one. Was I insane? I wasn't even that drunk, but I had a pretty good buzz from the club we went to. It was enough to make me a little dizzy.

John pulled away from our kiss, "Sasha, are you sure about this?"

"John," I almost whispered, "Just promise me you'll take me back. Take me back to Kenwood. Take me back to when we would sneak off together on the '65 tour. Most of all, take me back to Liverpool. Make me feel that way. Make me feel like nothing can ever get in between our love."

"You're talking crazy now, mama," John smirked, "All the alcohol has gone to your brain."

I kissed him softly, "John, I'm not crazy."

"You sound like you're trying to convince yourself of that."

"John, please. Don't disappoint me. Not now. You're doing so well," I pleaded.

"Doing so well at what?"

I took a deep breath and looked into his eyes, "Making me fall back in love with you."

He grinned and pulled me into another breath-taking kiss. I continued the work on his buttons, and he reached around to unzip my dress. My hands made it to the front of his trousers as I palmed him through the fabric and unzipped them. John broke our kiss and stood to slide his trousers and shirt off. I stood as well and let my sparkly dress fall to the floor. I stepped out of my high heels and sat back on the bed in my lace bra and panties.

"Sasha," John looked at me, "You're so beautiful. I want you to know that I'm such an idiot."

"I knew that," I interrupted him, laughing.

John smirked at me again, "I am though. I should have never neglected our love the way that I have. I can't find anything like it from anyone else."

"John?" I said.

He sighed, "Yes?"

I batted my big blue eyes at him, "Can we save the talk for later? Where's my teddy boy?"

"Right where you left him," he grinned.

I watched as John walked over to the record player and put on some old 50s Elvis music. It really did feel like Liverpool times. John slid from his underwear and climbed over me, making an attack on what little clothing pieces I had on.

About an hour later, the Elvis record had been started over several times by the record changer, and I was about to reach my third high of the night. I could tell that John was nearing his by the way he picked up the pace a bit. He flipped, so that I was on top. I felt him moan and twitch as I rode out my third and final high. I collapsed on top of him. We were both panting from the amazing thing we both just experienced.

"Was it better this time?" John smirked.

I moved from on top of him to beside him as we snuggled close to each other under the covers, "I finally have MY John back."

As if on cue, _Love Me Tender_ started playing softly. John hummed quietly and rubbed circles on my back as I cuddled closer to him.

"Our song," I said, "I haven't heard this in years."

John kissed me softly, "Sasha, I love you."

I looked up at him, and for the first time in five years, a quiet, "I love you, John," slipped past my lips.

 **December 26, 1973**

John paced back and forth in front of me at the airport terminal. He rubbed his hands together and exhaled loudly.

"John," I said, "Calm down. It's just Julian and Cynthia."

"Just Julian and Cynthia? I can't calm down. My son, who I haven't seen in two years, is about to walk off of that plane. What if I don't remember what he looks like?"

"John, that's ridiculous."

"And Cynthia's with him. I mean, how's that gonna go? I left her for you," John rambled.

I stood and grabbed his hand to stop his pacing, "John, there aren't any hard feelings between me and Cyn. That was a long time ago. Stop worrying. Everything's going to be fine."

I placed my hand on his cheek. He grabbed my waist and pulled me closer. Our lips met and softly moved together.

"Dad!" We both turned to see Julian running toward us with Cyn carrying the bags behind him. As he got closer, I was reminded of how much he looked like John.

The ten year old ran into John's arms, "Dad, I missed you a lot."

"I missed you too, Jules," John told him.

I watched as John hugged Julian tighter before pulling away and standing back up from his crouching position, "Don't forget to give Sasha some love."

I crouched down, and Julian hugged me tightly as well, "I missed you, Sasha."

I pulled away from our hug and held his arms, "Look how big you've gotten. Stop getting older."

"I missed you with dad most of all," he told me, returning to our hug. He whispered in my ear, "Please stay with him. Don't let him go back to Yoko."

I smiled at him, pulling away.

"Well, I'm glad to be off that flight," I heard Cynthia say as she finally approached us.

I hugged her, "Cynthia! How are you?"

"I'm fine. You're good?" She asked me.

"Yeah, you'll love it here."

I watched as John brought her into a hug, "How are ya, Cyn?"

She pulled away, "Alright. You look like you're doing alright. You're always glowing when you're beside Sasha."

I blushed as John smiled at me, "Well, let's show them the house."

John walked in front of me and Cynthia. I helped her with her bags as we headed out to the car. We both smiled when Julian caught up to John and grabbed his hand. John surprisingly kept Julian's hand in his as they walked side by side.

"You know," Cynthia said from beside me, "I don't think I've ever seen John hold Julian's hand. It must be because he's in love with you."

I smiled to myself. For a brief second, I wished John and I were married, and Julian was our own.


	68. Chapter 68: 9 Dream

**Something**

 **Chapter 68: #9 Dream**

 **January 5, 1974  
**

 **Sasha's POV**

I woke alone in the large bed that John and I usually shared. I rose and stretched out my arms. I smiled to myself, remembering last night's activities that toke place in this room. John and I were starting to become more like the inseparable teenagers that we once were. I hadn't heard from George in awhile, and frankly, I was hoping that I wouldn't so I could continue living out this dream with John. He really was proving to me that he is serious about us trying again. This wasn't like the second time back in London. This wasn't forced. I had sunk into this relationship slowly. My wall was still up, however. I felt that I couldn't let my guard down just yet. I didn't want to put myself in a vulnerable enough position where I would get extremely hurt again. John was making me build up trust for him again, and I was thoroughly enjoying myself in Los Angeles.

In most ways, it felt like our early days in Liverpool. The going to clubs, the music making, and of course, the love making. That's why this experience was so contagious for me. It was like the old times when we were truly in love without it being forced.

I walked out of the bedroom after putting on some clothes. I slowly entered the living room to see Cynthia sitting the couch reading a book. She be would staying another week before heading back to England. By John's request, Julian would be staying here past his birthday.

"Morning," I said, "Where's John?"

Cynthia looked up at me from her book and removed her glasses, "He took Julian to the studio with him today. He said he was going to show him how to use the drum machine."

I sat down on the couch, "Alright, did he say when he would be back?"

"No, he didn't. I'm guessing it will be late afternoon though."

We sat in silence for a few moments. Cynthia and I had last spoken to each other on good terms. It was back when Julian was very small, and wanted me to be his step mom. I smiled at the conversation I had with the four year old in Greece.

"Thank you, Sasha," Cynthia said suddenly.

I looked at her confusingly, "For what?"

"You really mean a lot to Julian. He's told me several times that you make John nicer and a better dad. I see it. Maureen and Jane used to tell me how John's behavior around Julian was different around you, but now I actually see it."

"Cyn, I don't why it's that way," I said. I felt a little bad that John was more of a father when I was around than when she was around.

She sat her glasses on the coffee table, "I do love John. He was one of the love's of my life, but you are the love of his life. I understand why things turned out the way they did. He loves you so much. The way he looks at you is the way that I always wanted him to look at me. Please stay with him. Please make it work this time around. He's the best version of himself when he's with you. I worry about him when he's out parading around and embarrassing himself when he's with Yoko."

"Is she really that bad?" I asked, "I've only seen them together for a few months when we were working on _Imagine,_ and she was trying to make me jealous of the fact that she was with John. That was a little irritating, but other than that, it seemed like he loved her."

Cynthia nodded her head slowly, "She's awful. John hasn't seen Julian in two and a half years because of her. She's treated him badly whenever he would visit. He told me that John would yell at him all of the time. Then, Julian didn't see John for all of this time because they've been globetrotting trying to find her long lost daughter. John was acting like he cared more for her daughter than he did his own son. I don't like the man that John becomes when he's with her."

I didn't say anything. Everyone had told me that it seemed as if Yoko had brainwashed John to become a different person, and I saw some of that when we first came out here to California. Now, hopefully, I had undone what Yoko had done to him. Everyday he was more and more like the old John.

* * *

I had a light sweater wrapped around me and a glass of wine in my hand later that night. I was sat outside by the pool with John. He was working on his second beer, resting back in a lounge chair. Cynthia and Julian had gone to bed awhile ago.

"Did you have fun with Julian today?" I asked, starting a conversation.

I felt like I hadn't seen John all day. He was at the studio with Julian until dinner. Then, we had dinner with everyone. I cherished the times that John and I had alone, especially here in California when there were so many people around.

He sighed, "I did. He's really growing up, you know. I regret not spending a lot more time with him," he paused, "He's showing an interest in music as well. I think I might get him a guitar for his birthday and teach him how to play."

"That's nice, John. I'm really proud of you for mending your relationship with him."

John sat up and looked at me, "Come over here and sit with me, mama."

I got up from my chair and slid into the lawn chair with John. I leaned back and rested my head on his chest.

He wrapped his around me, "It's crazy that we're sitting outside by a pool in January."

"That's California for you."

Everything was silent but the crickets in the trees.

"John?" I said, "Why do you make such an effort to be such a good father when I'm around?"

He sighed, thinking for a moment, "It's not really much of an effort. It just comes out in me when I'm around you. I think I've told you before that you make me want to be a better person. I guess deep down, I want to impress you. And I've always wanted that life with you."

"What do you mean?"

"Well," he started, "I know we used to talk about it back when we were young. I always wanted to settle down with you and have a family with you. You were the person that I wanted to be the mother of my children. You were the person that I wanted to come home to everyday."

I kissed him softly. Silence happened again, allowing the crickets around us to get louder.

"Sasha," he said quietly, "I know about the baby you lost when you got back from Hamburg."

I sat up quickly. All those years ago, I had experienced so much pain. I swore Paul and Stu to secrecy about the baby that I miscarried, so who told?

"Who told you?"

He sighed and cupped my face, "That doesn't matter. I know I killed the baby, Sasha. Why didn't you tell me? I killed everything else."

"That's why I didn't tell you, John," I grabbed his hand, "I knew that you already blamed yourself for you dad leaving and your Uncle and mom dying. I couldn't tell you about that. Please tell me who told you."

"They both did," he said, pain in his eyes, "Paul told me right after you told him before you went to Nashville for Christmas. I was distraught. I started throwing everything in sight. It took Paul and Mimi both to hold me down long enough so I could calm down. Stu told me one night when he came home from Ye Crake drunk. He didn't mean to, and the next morning, he probably didn't remember telling me."

"I'm sorry, John. I just thought that it was best to not tell you. I was also waiting for you to come and apologize, but you never did."

John didn't speak. He kissed me softly and let me lay back down against his chest.

"I'm working on something at the studio that's a gift to you," he changed the subject, "It's an album of cover songs. It's all the songs we used to listen to when we were together in the fifties."

I kissed him to show him my appreciation for the gift. I couldn't wait to hear it.

"Sasha," he spoke, "Can I tell you something that I've never told you before?"

"Sure," I said quietly, closing my eyes.

The sound of his voice filled my ears, "I think you and I are soulmates."

My eyes shot open, and I looked at him, "Why do you say that?"

He cleared his throat, "I would have this reoccurring dream when I was a teenager. It started a couple years before you moved to Liverpool, and a few months before I met you, I would have this dream every night. In the dream, there's a woman that's with me. She doesn't have a face, so I've never known exactly who it is. She talks with me, but I can't ever remember her voice when I wake up. We're together in different places, on a mountain, on a boat in the middle of the lake, just different places. The night you moved to Liverpool, I stopped having the dream. I didn't have that dream again until the night you left Hamburg. I had it almost every night until we were really together. The only nights I remember not having it was the day you held me in Stu's attic after he died, the night we slept together in Australia, and every night that we would consummate our affair. The night you left India, I had the dream again. I had it every single night until you came to help with the album. When you left, the dream started happening again. I haven't had it since you came back into my life."

I didn't know what to say. John's dream was peculiar. I had never heard of anyone having that experience.

He looked into my eyes, "I know the woman in the dream is you, Sasha. Why else would I never have it when you're with me? I told Mimi about it, and Mum, when she was alive, and they both said it was because you were a very special part of my life. I'm such an idiot. I can't believe it took this long for me to realize how much you mean to me."

I kissed him. This was honestly the sweetest thing that anyone had ever told me, "I love you, John."

"I love you too, Sasha. More than you know. I won't let you get away," he kissed me, "Not again."

* * *

 **Author's Note: Thank you for reading! Winter Storm Jonas is wreaking havoc, and I'm pretty much snowed in this weekend. This is the third biggest snow that my town has gotten in history. How much snow and ice have you received from the storm? Also, did you like this chapter? Please let me know in the comments.  
**


	69. Chapter 69: Surprise, Surprise

**Something**

 **Chapter 69: Surprise, Surprise**

 **March 28, 1974  
**

 **Sasha's POV**

I was sitting in the control booth with Julian and a few of the producers working with John on his next couple of albums. He was in the booth singing and jamming with Harry and special guest in today's session, Stevie Wonder. Ringo had also been here drumming, but he had to leave to go home and take care of his new wife, who had become sick.

Julian and I were playing cards while I listened to the new music that John was working on when someone tapped me on the shoulder, "Sasha."

I recognized the voice instantly and stood to give him a tight hug.

"I guess you missed me then," his voice was muffled in my hair.

I pulled away from the hug and still held onto him, "Paul, what are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question. You're with John again? Sasha, how many times..."

I interrupted him, "We'll talk about it later alone."

Linda was standing quietly behind him, so I brought her into a hug, "Linda, it's good to see you again. How are you and the kids?"

"I'm good. They're good. They're back in England whilst Paul and I make this trip. I wasn't expected you to be here. Paul's been speaking on the phone to John and decided on a whim to come and surprise him."

Paul sighed, "He didn't tell me about you being here. Or Julian."

"Uncle Paul, come sit by me," Julian called to him.

Paul smiled, "Sure, I will in a few minutes, but first, I'm going to surprise your dad."

I watched as Paul exited the control room and entered the recording studio.

"Ah, the gallant John Winston," Paul announced as he walked in the studio.

John took his guitar off and walked up to him, "Morning, Mr. McCharmly," he smirked.

I stared intently as they hugged, and without a word, went to their instruments and immediately started jamming together.

"It's good to them together again, isn't it?" Linda asked from behind me.

I smiled as I watched them play and laugh together, "It certainly is."

 **John's POV**

I was glad the Paul was back in my life, but I would never admit that to him. After all, the past was the past, and all of the hard feelings that we had toward each other had dissipated with the years, and the wounds had healed. Paul was my best mate, after all. After hours in the studio, we decided to go hang out at the house. Paul and Linda had agreed to stay for a couple days to catch up and spend time together.

Paul and I were sitting out by the pool now, smoking our beloved ciggies and drinking a pint for old time's sake.

"Sasha sure does know how to cook up a good dinner," Paul said, patting his stomach.

"She always has," I agreed.

Silence surrounded us. It was incredible to me how many relationships I was mending now that Sasha was back in my life. I guess she's just good luck, or maybe she really does change how I am as a person.

"John," Paul said, "Please don't hurt my sister again. I warned her about this when she married George. I can't watch her go through a heartbreak caused by you again."

"You knew about her marrying George?"

Paul cleared his throat, "Yeah, I walked her down the aisle. At the courthouse of course."

"No one bothered to tell me," I said, inhaling some smoke.

Paul looked at me, "And what would you have done had you known? Barged in to stop the wedding?"

"I don't know," I said quietly.

"Listen John," he said, "I know you say you love my sister, and I don't know what your intentions are, but please don't let this be one of your games. I don't think it is, but if you have to, let her down gently. I don't know how well she'll be able to handle it a third time."

"I don't want to hurt her again, Paul," I told him, "I've learned my lesson. Life is hell with any other woman besides her."

Paul had a trace of a grin on his face, "From what I've observed, I'd say it's pretty serious between you two. If I'm honest, it scarily reminds me of back in Liverpool when you two had your whole lives planned out together. It looks to me like this time is as genuine as the first time."

"Paul, it is like those times. To prove to you how serious I am, I have the divorce papers for me and Yoko written up and signed. All I have to do is file them. As soon as Sasha says the word, I'm hers and only hers."

"Wow, John, I had no idea," Paul stated.

"And I'll tell you something else I have been waiting to do..."

 **Sasha's POV**

Paul and John had been talking outside for over an hour. In that time, Linda helped me put Julian to bed, and we had talked about what we both had been up to since we saw each other last, and then she headed to bed. Now, I was sitting alone on the couch in the living room drinking a glass of wine.

Paul and John wandered in still carrying on a conversation.

"It's good to see you two up to trouble again," I said.

Paul smiled, "It's good to see John again."

John laughed, "Aw, Paul, I missed you too," he teased as Paul laughed.

John wandered over and leaned down to give me a kiss, "Goodnight mama. Come to bed when you're done with that wine."

"I will," I promised, kissing him again.

"Don't be long," he said, leaving the room.

Paul sat down on the couch next to me, "We need to talk."

I looked behind me and made sure John was out of the room, "Before you say anything, I am almost thirty three years old. I can take care of myself."

"I know, Sasha," he said, "Just tell me how this happened. I know about George, but tell me how you managed to get back into John's life."

I sighed, "Well, Ringo called me on John's birthday and told me that he was worried about him. He told me about the situation that John had gone through with Yoko, and I had to go check on him. I invited him back to my place to stay until he got better. I couldn't leave him in that filth he was staying in. He already looked like he hadn't bathed and eaten in weeks. The next day, after long conversation, he invited me out here. I had nothing to lose, so I accepted. I won't get hurt, Paul, I swear."

"How can you know that?" He asked me.

"I just know. I still have some walls up that John's still has to break down and some bridges he needs to cross to get me to completely trust him again," I explained, hoping Paul would understand, "I do love him."

"Don't hurt him, Sasha," Paul said, surprising me.

"I won't. Why would you say that?"

Paul sighed, "Don't tell him that I told you this. He's all in, Sasha. He loves you more than life itself. He would give up everything to be with you. I know he's being sincere. This isn't like in London after your affair. This is like Liverpool, the first time he met you, when the both of you first fell in love. He's that kind of genuine, Sasha, and I believe him," he paused, "He's got his and Yoko's divorce papers written up and signed. He's just waiting for the cue from you to file them."

"What?" I exhaled in disbelief. I knew John was serious about this whole thing, but not that serious. What would I do about George?

"And another thing that I need to warn you about," Paul said.

I looked at him intently, waiting for the piece of information he had gathered from John.

Paul exhaled a deep breath, "He has Julia's ring. He has his mother's ring to give to you just like he promised her in the fifties. And sooner rather than later, he wants to marry you, Sasha."

My heart stopped.


	70. Chapter 70: Going Down on Love

**Something**

 **Chapter 70: Going Down on Love  
**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **March 28, 1974**

I stared at Paul in disbelief, "Are you sure about this? John wants to propose to me?"

"Sasha," Paul sighed, "He told me out by pool. He's been waiting to give you that ring for a long time."

"And he said that Julia wanted me to have the ring?"

Paul slid closer to me on the sofa and grabbed my hands, "John told me that when he was seventeen, a couple months before Julia died, she gave him this ring and asked him to give it to you. She asked him to marry you and treat you well. She told him that she knew you two were meant to be together."

I stared at the shag carpet for quite awhile thinking about everything. It's like my life decided to play out right before my very eyes. I remembered it all, and I wondered if John was lying in bed in the other room doing the same thing. Everything that we had been through together must have not been for nothing. There were so many emotions between us and this relationship.

I looked at Paul, "What am I going to do about George?" Tears surfaced in my eyes thinking of the internal conflict between John and George that had resurfaced once again.

Paul exhaled, "I don't know, Sasha. When's the last time you even spoke to him?"

"I haven't spoken to him since I moved out to New York for a little awhile. It'll be a year this summer. I just wanted to give him some time and space. I didn't want his addiction to cause me to get hurt. It was all starting to get too familiar, so I ran," a tear slid down my cheek, "It's just that I miss him, and I do love him. I hope he's choosing me over the drugs. However, John has really turned around, and this relationship is becoming exactly like it was before Hamburg. Except this time, I think we'll have a happy ending."

Paul wiped away a tear from my face, "You're not going to like what I have to say, but only you can make this decision. I can't make it for you, no one can. Your heart will choose the right path."

"I love them both so much," I said quietly.

"Sasha," Paul spoke, "John is all in. He's as serious as he was the first day he met you. I don't know if I can say the same for George."

I sat and thought about Paul's words and let them sink in. What on Earth was I going to do?

"Sasha," a small voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

I looked up to find Julian in his pajamas standing in front of me.

"Julian, what are you doing out of bed?"

"I forgot to tell you and Uncle Paul something," he said, stepping closer.

I smiled, "Come here, then."

Julian climbed up to sit in my lap. I wrapped my arms around him. Even though he was almost eleven, he still felt like the little four year old that asked me if I was going to be his new mommy. I smiled at the memory.

"Please stay," he almost whispered, "You make dad nicer to me."

"What do you mean?"

Paul watched the two of us in admiration. Julian and Paul had always been close as well.

Julian looked at the both of us, "Do you promise not to tell him?"

We both nodded.

He spoke again quietly, "I don't like dad very much when he's with Yoko. He's only sent me a couple of letters in the last two years, and the last time I was with him, I heard Yoko say that she didn't want me around. Dad agreed with her. He's just so much nicer when you're here, Sasha, and you, Uncle Paul."

"Julian," I said, rubbing his arm, "I can't make any promises, but I'll try. Sometimes things don't always work out the way we plan. If I do go my separate ways, and John is ever mean to you, tell me, and I'll set him straight."

Julian climbed off of my lap and smiled, "Thank you. Goodnight Sasha. Goodnight Uncle Paul."

"Goodnight," Paul and I said at the same time.

Julian started to walk out of the room, then he turned to me again, "Sasha, I love you."

I stood from the couch and hugged him, "Love you too, Jules. Now, get some sleep."

He nodded and I stood and watched as he headed to bed once again. I turned to see Paul smirking at me.

"What?"

He smiled, "You're so good with him. You'd make a great mother some day."

"I always wanted to be a mother. Maybe I'll get a chance to be one some day," I said, "I'm going to bed. Thanks for the chat."

Paul walked over to me and brought me into a hug, "I think everything will work out just fine."

"I really missed you, Paul."

"I've missed you too. Goodnight," he said, pulling away.

"Night."

I went into the bedroom to find John sitting on the bed with a guitar in his lap and notebook in front of him. He put his guitar away as I entered the room and changed into my pajamas. I slid into bed next to him, and he enveloped me in his arms. His body warmth spreading to me quickly.

"I love you, mama," he whispered, kissing my head.

"I love you too, John."

 **November 11, 1974**

John and I danced around the bedroom after lunch laughing our heads off. We were just enjoying each others company now. The house was empty except for us two. Paul had only stayed for a week before he was off doing other things. Ringo had visited a couple times since then, and Julian left in the summer. Harry had moved out and headed to New York to finish his album. So, it was just John and I with this big house all to ourselves.

I was still counting down the days until he asked me to marry him. I had been thinking about it nonstop. He hadn't asked me yet, and I think it's because he's still testing the waters. I'm not sure if he knows how I feel about him completely. My walls that I put up for John were almost completely down. Everyday got a little better and a little bit more like our electric love in Liverpool.

John fell down on to the bed with me landing on top of him, "I love you, John," I laughed.

"I love you more," he flipped me over, "Forever and always."

Our old saying had been coming from his mouth since a few months ago. That's how similar this time was to our teenage years.

"Listen," he said inches from my face, "I've been meaning to tell you something."

I smiled, "And what's that, my teddy boy."

"I..."

The doorbell rang, interrupting John in mid-sentence.

"I'll get it," I said, kissing him, "Be right back."

I walked to the front door and slowly opened it. Who it revealed almost knocked me down with shock.

"Sasha, we need to talk."

I stared at him in shock, "George..."


	71. Chapter 71: Be Here Now

**Author's Note: Thank you so much to everyone that's been reading, voting, and really enjoying this story. Tell me what you think in the comments!**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 71: Be Here Now**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **November 11, 1974**

"George...what are you doing here?" I asked him, blinking a couple times.

I couldn't believe he was standing here in front of me after over a year of us not speaking. He didn't look healthy, to be honest. He looked skinny, there were dark circles under his eyes, and he was sporting a bushy mustache. He looked sad.

"Sasha, can we just talk?" He pleaded, his eyes searching mine.

I sighed, "George, it's been over a year. Where have you been?"

"Please," he almost whispered, "I can't lose you like this again. I'm such an idiot to have ever thought that anything was more important than you, than us."

I stepped out onto the front porch, closing the front door behind me, "Listen, George, I'm doing just fine here. If you want to break it off right now, it won't bother me."

"How could you go back to him, Sasha?" He searched my blue eyes with his dark ones for an answer.

I ignored his jealous question, "Who told you I was here?"

"Ringo," he exhaled, "I couldn't believe it when he told me. I couldn't believe that once again, you've walked right into a heartbreak."

"You don't know the half of what's been going on here," I spoke through clenched teeth.

Suddenly, George brought me into a hug, and after a few moments passed, I relaxed into his arms. I had missed him, but now was time for that state of confusion that I thought I had left behind almost ten years ago.

"Sasha," he said pulling away, "I'm playing a show here in town tonight. Why don't you meet me afterward at my hotel, and we can discuss things."

I nodded. I knew the discussing part was going to be sooner rather than later, I just had no idea what I was going to do.

George gave me the number and address of the hotel and a time to meet him at his room. I smiled at him. He kissed me softly on the lips before walking back to the black limo that was parked out front.

I walked into the house to see John staring at me from across the room, "You're leaving me, aren't you?" His voice was soft, almost as if he was trying not to cry.

"I don't want to talk about it, John," I walked up to him, "All you need to know is that I love you so very much."

"And I love you," John said, kissing me.

I squealed as he picked me up bridal style and carried me to the bedroom to begin his attack on me.

* * *

A couple hours later, we were lying naked in each others arms. Even the silence was comforting with John. I couldn't help but to listen to the little voice inside my head saying that this time was going to be like every other time despite how we say we feel about each other.

I sighed and snuggled into John's chest and he held me tighter.

Soon, I was kissing him goodbye to go meet George at his hotel. John was careful not to ask me about what we were going to talk about, or who I was going to choose because I didn't know myself.

I walked out of the elevator to George's room and knocked lightly on the door.

"Sasha," he breathed out as the door swung open, "Come on."

The room was dimly lit with candles burning and the smell of incense wafting throughout.

I sat down on the couch, realizing how awkward I felt.

"Do you love him?" George asked me, handing me a glass of wine.

I took a sip of it, "Of course I love him, George. If you really want to know, this time is like the first time in Liverpool. It feels more innocent, you know? John has grown up so much, and I think that he's really serious this time."

"He'll hurt you, Sasha," George blurted out.

I sighed, "I don't think it's like that this time. He told Paul that he has the divorce papers written up, and he has Julia's ring to propose to me with."

"Sasha, last time, he divorced Cyn, and he proposed to you," he said, "I'm sorry, but when are you going to learn. John's not going to change his ways ever. He didn't in Liverpool, he didn't in London, and this time will be just the same."

George's word sunk into my mind for a few moments. In some ways, he was right. I have no way of knowing how John would act in a few months time. I would hate to give up a marriage with someone that I know is true for one that I have to wonder if we're going to make it all of the time.

"George, I love you, but you really hurt my feelings," I explained, "Marriage is supposed to come almost naturally to two people that are as in love as we are, and the way you were acting, you loved everything thing else but me."

"I was wrong, Sasha. Okay? I was wrong, but I swear to you, I will never hurt you the way that John can and will."

I sat looking at the ground in silence. I had a lot to think about in so little time.

George cleared his throat, "I stopped taking cocaine. That's part of the reason I haven't called. The withdrawal was hell, and it took quite a bit of time to get back to normal."

I hugged him close, "Thank you for that. I couldn't stand if anything would've happened to you."

George brought his lips to mine. I don't know if it was the wine taking over, but I deepened the kiss, letting George know how much I really had missed him. Our kissing was heating up, and we decided to quickly move things to the bed. I lied underneath him while he worked over me. Everything was more magical than I remember.

He collapsed beside me after awhile trying to catch his breath, "Sasha, come back to England with me. Let's start over on our life together there. Maybe start a family. Do all of the things that we were supposed to do."

I smiled at him. So, a couple hours later, I was back at the house, writing a goodbye note to John and gathering my things quietly. As I left to get back in the car with George, I took one last look around with teary eyes. I'm not sure John would ever talk to me again after this, but I knew I had the memories.

 **The next morning**

 **John's POV**

I woke up alone and grabbed my glasses off the bedside table. I grabbed at the piece of paper that had been laying underneath them.

I read it slowly, my eyes clouding and my heart breaking.

 _Dear John,_

 _I'm so sorry, but I've chosen to go back to England with George. He's my husband, after all. I keep anxiety in the back of mind when I'm with you. Constantly wondering if it's going to go on or end the next day isn't good for me. I don't think of this as goodbye, but if you do, I understand. I remember everything about all of our times together throughout the years. Unfortunately, with all of the good comes all of the bad. Because of this, I can't ever know if you really want me forever or if you'll just hurt me like you have before. I know my heart if safe with George, for his gentle soul can never hurt me as much as you can._

 _Please, John, remember that I love you so much. You're one of the loves of my life, after all._

 _Love, Sasha_

I clenched the paper tightly in my hand. Just like that she was gone. I couldn't ever get her back, not after everything I have done to her. I failed. I failed. Out the blue she came, and in another instant, she was gone.


	72. Chapter 72: You

**Something**

 **Chapter 72: You**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **December 20, 1974**

I caught my breath from the sobs that had been overtaking me for more than an hour. I couldn't go on, I couldn't do the show. Since I left L.A., I had to wait to go back to England until George was finished with the tour. A couple weeks ago, he convinced me to start playing a few songs after Ravi's set and before his. I agreed because music is something that I've neglected in recent years with all of my personal issues.

Here I was in Madison Square Garden in New York City. I had just found out two shocking pieces of information. John was here. George informed me that he had come to the show tonight. I had been okay up until this point. The point where John and I were in the same building and could run into each other at any given time. The worst bit of this news was that he was accompanied to the show by none other than the witch herself, Yoko. I almost couldn't believe that after all he had said and we had talked about, he went back to her. The fourteen months I spent trying to undo everything she ruined on John was of no use.

The second piece of information is what made me cry. I didn't know what was going to happen. Ringo and his new wife, Barbara, had come to the show and she had been kind enough to help me with the crisis I was currently dealing with. I had to tell George, but how?

He walked through the dressing room door, "Sasha, are you going on or not?" He realized that I was sobbing and hurried over to me, "Darling, what's wrong? This isn't about John, is it?"

"No," I blubbered trying to catch my breath, "I...I need to tell you something."

He brought me into his arms and stroked my head, "What is it, love? What's got you so upset?"

"Oh, George," I sobbed, "Barbara helped me take a test, and I...I'm pregnant."

George let go of me and leaned back.

I blinked at him, a couple of tears running down my cheeks.

"Sasha," he gasped, tears in his eyes, "This is wonderful news. Why are you so upset?"

I paused. Should I tell him what was making me so scared and upset?

"Darling," he said, wiping away my tears, "this is a happy thing. Stop being so sad. We're going to be a mum and dad."

"But, George," I stood from my chair, "I'm afraid."

He followed, "Well, I am to, but this is still wonderful news. We've been wanting this for a long time."

He brought me into his arms again, but I pulled away to look him straight in the eyes. I inhaled nervously, "No, George, listen to me. There is a possibility that..." I took another deep breath, "that the baby...could be...John's."

George let go of my arms in defeat, "I hadn't thought about that."

He backed up slowly and sat down on the couch.

I sat down next to him, "I'm sorry, George. I was with John last month too. I just wanted you to know."

"I understand," he quietly, "When we get back to England, me and you will take a test to see. It'll be fine."

I watched as George stood from the couch. He didn't say anything else as he left the room. I let out some sobs as he shut the door.

 **January 2, 1975**

I swung my legs back and forth in nervousness as I sat on the edge of the examination table at the doctor's. George was standing next to me picking at his fingernails. I had a hospital gown on and felt cold in the sterile environment. I shivered and felt George place his jacket around me a few moments later.

The doctor opened the door, "Well, congratulations, you two are gonna be parents in a few months."

I let out a sigh of relief, "Great, so the baby is George's?"

"One hundred percent perfect match," The doctor beamed.

I looked at George. I could see the tears shining in his eyes, "That's great," he mumbled.

* * *

That night, I was snuggled up to George in bed. I had missed being home in England. The fire was roaring in the bedroom fireplace, and all felt well for now.

"I hope it's a boy," George mumbled, looking up at the ceiling, "I would love to have a son."

I smiled at him, "I hope I can give you a son. One who looks just like you, and is a gentleman just like you."

A moment of silence passed until George cleared his throat, "Sasha?"

"Yes George?"

"What would you have done had the baby not been mine? If it was John's, I mean?"

I closed my eyes. I realized that I hadn't thought about John in a long time. I wondered what he was doing now, all the way across the sea in New York.

"I don't know, George," I almost whispered, "It's not, so we don't even have to think about that."

 **March 1, 1975**

"Coming!" I called to the ringing doorbell.

George was out for the day working on an upcoming album. I looked down at my stomach. I could see a small bump where our baby rested. I couldn't wait to meet him. It was a boy. George and I had found out last week at the doctor that we were going to be parents to a baby boy in August.

I answered the door to face a delivery man.

"Good Morning, ma'am," he handed me a flat, square package, "Parcel for you."

"Thank you," I told him as he walked back to his truck.

I took the package to the kitchen to open it. It was odd because I didn't remember ordering anything. I looked down at the label and realized that the mysterious package had no return address. I ran a knife along the edge to cut the tape. I pulled out an LP from the box, and a note fell to the ground. I looked at the record. Staring back at me was a photo of teenage John in Hamburg with the words 'John Lennon: Rock 'N' Roll' spelled out in letters that were reminiscent of neon signs.

I picked up the note off of the floor and saw his scribbly handwriting staring back at me.

 _Dearest Sasha,_

 _It's only fair that I send you this album. I made it for you. Remember? I told you about it in California. It took quite a long time to finish, but it's finally done, and I thought you should have a copy laying around. As I told you, it's all the songs that we listened to before the world fell at out feet. I hope it will bring you good memories like it has done for me. I understand why you did what you did, but I hope that someday you'll realize how much I still actually want that second...um...third...chance. (Sooorrrryyy, love)._

 _I heard through the grapevine that you've got a baby boy on the way. Congrats! I know you and George will be an excellent mummy and daddy. I've got a baby on the way as well with Yoko (I was quite nervous to write that bit ha!), and I would very much like the two of them to be friends. Maybe after the babies are born, they can meet and someday form a second Beatles. Kidding!_

 _Well, I miss you Sasha. I really do. If you ever want to talk, I'm at the Dakota, and I'll enclose the number. Give me a ring, eh? I miss you. I already said that, but it's true._

 _I know it makes you uncomfortable, but I love you so. Forever and ever and always,_

 _John_

I was smiling to myself by the end of the letter. They were just like the rambling ones he would leave me back in the fifties. He did have a point, the babies did need to meet when they are born, and it wouldn't be bad to see John again either.


	73. Chapter 73: This Guitar Can't Keep From

**Something**

 **Chapter 73: This Guitar Can't Keep From Crying  
**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **August 5, 1976**

"Maybe I didn't think this through," I said whilst pacing back and forth in front of George, who was sitting on the couch, bouncing our one-year-old son on his knees causing the baby to laugh.

We were in my apartment in New York, finally here to meet up with John and Yoko and their baby boy. I couldn't believe that I agreed to meet them. I couldn't believe that I was going to see John again for the first time in nearly two years. I walked out of his life, and I was surprised he wanted to see me again.

"Sasha," George said softly, "Come here. Sit down next to me and calm down."

I plopped down on the couch next to him, "How can I calm down, George? John's coming here."

George chuckled at me, "That's just it. It's just John. You both have moved on. You've both got babies with other people."

I sighed and ran my hand over our baby boy's short brown hair. He looked just like George, which is what I wanted.

"Do you think Dhani will like John, Yoko, and what's their boy's name?" George asked, beginning to bounce Dhani again.

"Sean, I think," I replied, admiring my son and my husband.

This meeting was supposed to happen earlier this year, but it was cancelled due to George getting hepatitis and being very sick. Dhani or I couldn't be around him for a month.

Just then, Dhani's little face shriveled up and he let out a loud, wailing cry.

"Well, he wants the boob," George laughed, handing him to me.

"Right, I only get to hold him when he's hungry," I joked.

I took Dhani from George and situated myself to breastfeed him. As soon as I laid him down in my arms, he stopped crying. He knew he was about to get some food. I smiled as he latched on and began to eat. This past year has gone by so fast. I finally became a mother, but the days of having a baby were flying by. Soon, he would be a child, and then a teenager. I tried not to think about that too much now.

I heard a knock on the door, and George went to answer it. I grabbed a blanket from beside me to cover myself up.

"Hello, hello," I heard John say loudly from the foyer.

My heart sped up, and I couldn't believe he was going to be in front of me in a matter of seconds.

"Sasha, you look gorgeous. Is the little one under there?" John asked, motioning to the blanket as he walked in the room.

"Yeah, he was just hungry. He'll be done in a few minutes," I explained, "It's good to see you again."

John's face lit up, "You too, Sasha. Motherhood looks good on you. I'm glad you finally got a baby."

I smiled and lifted the blanket slightly to check on Dhani.

"Hi," I heard a woman's voice and looked up to find Yoko entering the room with George.

"Hi, Yoko. Sorry, I would hug you, but I've got a baby attached to me," I said, smiling at her.

I didn't particularly care for Yoko, but there was no point in being cold to her, especially not in front of John.

It was then that I noticed that John had a baby carrier strapped on him like a backpack, and a sleeping little boy was curled up against his back. He looked like John, but there were definitely some of Yoko's Japanese traits in his looks.

"Isn't he adorable," George said, walking behind John to sneak a peak at the sleeping baby.

"Thanks," John smiled widely. He looked happier than I'd seen him in a long time.

George sat down on the couch next to me and placed his hand on my thigh. I watched as John took the baby carrier off his back and held Sean in his arms as he sat on the other couch next to Yoko.

By that time, Dhani had finished and I lifted him out of the blanket after fixing my shirt back.

"He looks just like George," Yoko blurted out as I burped him.

I smiled and admired him, "Yeah, isn't he handsome?"

George took him from me, "Yep, he's my little mini-me."

* * *

Later that day, we put Dhani and Sean on the floor together. We were so pleased to see that they were playing well with each other.

"Well, at this rate, there will be a second Beatles some day," John joked.

I laughed and stood from the couch, "I'm going to get some water, does anyone need anything?"

Everyone shook their heads, so I turned to go into the kitchen. I was pouring water in my glass when someone tapped me on the shoulder.

I jumped and turned to face him, "Oh, John, you scared me."

"Sorry, I just wanted to talk you alone for a minute," he said.

"Okay," I said, dreading the upcoming conversation.

John cleared his throat, "I just want to say that I don't blame you for leaving the way you did. And, also that I missed you. You look beautiful, and you seem like such a good mum."

"Thanks John," I smiled, "It's looks like you're doing pretty well with Sean."

I started to walk out of the kitchen, but John grabbed me by the arm, "Thanks for seeing me again."

"That's okay," I said back to him, "I enjoy having you around."

 **July 9, 1977**

The phone rang, and I ran to pick it up, "Hello? Harrison residence."

"Sasha, it's John," he said quietly.

I smiled at the sound of his voice, "Hi John. What's wrong?"

I loved that we were in each other's lives again as friends. For the past eleven months, we've all been vacationing together. It was good to spend time with them. I even think that I'm sort of becoming friends with Yoko, sort of. It was great for Dhani and Sean to have each other. They were only two months apart in age, and it would be good for them to have a friend in each other. John hadn't told me he loved me yet like he did the first time we tried to just be friends. I was hoping that he still had some feelings about me to justify the feelings I still had for him.

"Nothing," he sighed, "I was just calling to..."

"Is it about the trip we're all taking to Hawaii in October? George and I are booking the flight tomorrow," I rambled excitedly.

Honestly, this friendly relationship was probably just an excuse to see each other more often.

"Don't bother, Sasha," he snapped from the other line.

"What?" I exhaled. John didn't sound like himself.

"Listen, Sasha. I called to tell you that me and Yoko aren't going on the trip anymore," he explained.

"I understand. Did something come up?"

John sighed into the phone, "Um, listen, um, being around you hurts me, Sasha, and I can't do it anymore. It's not fair to us."

"I don't understand. Where's all this coming from?" I questioned.

"Sasha," John inhaled deeply and exhaled, "I can't see you anymore, okay? This is goodbye."

Tears surfaced in my eyes, "This can't be goodbye, not after everything we've been through."

"I'm sorry. It's better this way. We live separate lives now, and it would be best if we got out of each other's lives."

"John," I chocked out, "I don't..."

"Sasha, I never want to see you again," he forced out. I could tell that he was crying too.

I didn't say a word. I just felt my heart speed up and hurt in my chest. I felt numb. I felt exactly like I did when John left me lying on the floor of the Kaiserkeller bathroom in Hamburg after he beat me. I leaned up against the wall and slid down to the floor, still clutching the phone. I couldn't stand any longer.

"Sasha, thanks for all these years together. I wish it didn't have to be this way, but it's for the best. Goodbye," he said before the click of him hanging up was heard.

"John..." I said.

He was gone. Forever. I dropped the phone from my hand, hearing the dial tone buzz from it. Twenty years of knowing each other down the drain. What I do without him in my life? I started shaking with sobs and breaking down piece by piece.

"Sasha," George yelled, running into the room, "Sasha, what's wrong?"

He sat down next to me, and I let out loud sobs.


	74. Chapter 74: Dark Horse

**Something**

 **Chapter 74: Dark Horse  
**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **January 3, 1979**

The one and half years since John decided to leave my life have flown by. While it was hard at first, I haven't thought about him for too long in months. At first, I tried to hide how much it hurt because I didn't know how George would feel about me crying over him yet again. He had been right after all. John had ended up hurting me. The day he called me on the phone was the first and last time that I cried in front of George about the situation. The few times after that in the next few months, I snuck away to the bathroom to silently sob. I couldn't believe that he had actually been serious about leaving my life though. John's been known to be dramatic about situations, but it hurt even more that he was sincere about it.

I'm only thinking about it now because I just got off of the phone with Paul. Paul and John had been talking frequently again ever since they rekindled in Los Angeles. Those California days seemed like a lifetime ago.

Before I could dwell on the past too much, I rose from the couch to get started at taking the Christmas decorations down. Dhani was still asleep, so I figured that I would get a head start before he wakes up. George was nowhere to be found. He seemed to be getting busier and busier these days. He left before I woke up this morning, and he probably won't be back until I snuggled into the lonely bed tonight. He opened his own record label a few years ago, and recently, it seems that business has picked up quite a bit considering that he's always there.

I got busy taking down the decorations from the holiday season. I was sad to see them go, but it was a new year. I have so many things that I want to do this year. It is the last year of the decade, after all. I would love to get back into the studio. I would also love to have another baby. I was planning on talking to George about that whenever he can fit me into his schedule.

"Mummy," a small voice from behind me broke me from my thoughts.

I turned and picked him up, "Good Morning, baby. How was your sleep?"

"It was good," he kissed my cheek, "Where's daddy?"

"I think he's at work," I told him, "Come on, let's get you some breakfast and wait for him to come back home."

Breakfast passed, then lunch, then dinner. Around nine in the evening, I had put Dhani to bed after he begged me to stay up to wait for George, but he fell asleep. Now, I had a glass of wine. I sat in front of the roaring fire in our dimly lit room.

I head the door slowly creak open, and George tiptoed in.

He stopped in front of me on the way to the bathroom, "I thought you'd be asleep."

"Where have you been?"

His smile dropped, "I've been at work, Sasha. It's busy down at Dark Horse."

"I know, George, but just don't forget that you have a family at home. I feel like I haven't seen you in two weeks. Dhani was crying all day for you to come home. I tried calling, but the line was busy every time."

He loosened his tie and sat down next to me, "I'm sorry, Sasha. I promise it will let up soon. I miss being at home, too."

"It's just been so lonely here without you," I felt tears well up in my eyes.

George ran his thumbs across my cheeks, "Don't cry, love. It's gonna be fine. Everything's just crazy right now for some reason. I love you."

"I love you too," I whispered.

He kissed me softly, "Now get into bed. I'll take a shower, and then I'll come cuddle you."

"Okay," I agreed.

I watched as he stood and started to make his way to the bathroom.

"George?"

He turned, "Yes, Sasha?"

"George, I think we should have another baby," I blurted out.

His shoulders dropped as he sighed, "You know as well as I do that that's not a good idea right now."

George turned to enter the bathroom. My head dropped, and I felt tears surface once again.

 **April 23, 1979**

Things never really let up at the studio. George was almost always there. The only day I really got to spend all day with him was Sundays. He was home now, and I needed to talk him about it.

I was sitting on the couch waiting from him to walk in from his recording studio in the guest house. Dhani was down for a nap, and this was the perfect time to talk.

George walked into the living room a few moments later, "Sasha, I need to talk to you."

"That's convenient because I need to talk to you too."

He sat down next to me, "You go first."

I sighed, "Listen, George. I think you should hire some more people to work under you. I know you have a secretary, but it's not enough. You're my husband and the father of our son, but you're not acting like it. I need you, and Dhani needs you."

George was quiet for a long time, "Sasha, I understand, and I haven't been completely honest with you."

"What are you talking about?" I asked him. I know he could read the confused look on my face.

He took a deep breath, then exhaled, "Ever since John told you he never wanted to see you again, you've been different."

"No, I haven't," I argued, "I tried so hard to not let it bother me."

"Anyway," George continued, "I'll just get to the point. My secretary, her name's Olivia. I think I'm in love with her. I've been seeing her since before Christmas."

Tears were flowing now. I couldn't believe this, "You've been cheating on me. With your son at home?"

"Sasha, I'm sorry. I just don't think that this is working between us anymore."

"But George," I cried, "I love you so much. I'm so happy with you and our son."

"I'm sorry. I think we should separate, Sasha. We don't want the same things in our hearts anymore," He placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed, jumping up from the couch. My sobs were causing me to shake, "You promised you would never hurt me like John, but you've done just that!"

I ran up the stairs. George was running after me and yelling my name. I ran into our room and starting packing my bags. George was begging me to calm down. When I had two bags packed, I ran down the stairs and headed to the front door. George was hot on my tail pleading with me.

"Why are you telling me to calm down?" I spun around to face him, "You're in love with someone else. You've been going out on me and your son, and you're standing there pleading for me to stay. I'm leaving, George. I'm going to New York. The only reason I'll ever speak to you again is to arrange for me to see Dhani. Good riddance."

I opened the front door and stormed out to my car.

"Sasha, please. Let's just be rational about this okay?"

I put my bags in the back seat, slammed the door, and then turned to face him, "I hate you. You're the biggest hypocrite on this planet. You promised you wouldn't hurt me like this."

I climbed into my car, and drove away from George. Maybe I'll finally get some peace in New York.


	75. Something Chapter 75: Nobody Told Me S

**Something**

 **Chapter 75: Nobody Told Me  
**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **June 30, 1979**

New York had been quiet. It's been two months since I left George after his surprisingly calm confession. I never thought he would do this. He was the last person on Earth that I thought would do something like this. It completely blindsided me. I was, up until April, very much in love with George. Besides him being extremely busy, I thought that the relationship side of the marriage was going well. I had even seriously considered adding another baby to our little family, but he betrayed me.

I sat in my darkened living room. The fireplace roaring, an almost empty bottle of brandy, and my newly found de-stressor, a pack of cigarettes. I had never been interested in smoking until this little incident with George. In the past couple of months the only thing that could calm my raving anxiety was a bottle of some type of strong alcohol and a packet of cigarettes. I detested the lonely woman I had become. I spent almost every evening like this since arriving in New York.

My thoughts traveled to John for some odd reason. Maybe my behavior now reminded me of his behavior that I saved him from a few years ago. I thought back to that time in California. I couldn't believe that I left knowing that John had already worked up and signed the divorce papers from Yoko. I left knowing that he was planning to propose to me. I left all of that because George convinced me that John was going to hurt me again, and it ended up being George who hurt me.

A pounding at the door caused me to turn my head quickly. I soon regretted the quick movement as the feeling of the alcohol had made the room spin. I reluctantly rose from the couch, cigarette in hand, to answer the door.

I opened it to reveal a familiar face, "Paul," I breathed out.

"Sasha," he said, "You look awful."

"Thanks," I said monotonously, "Come in."

Paul followed me to the living room and sat on the couch across from me. I took a long drag from my cigarette and exhaled slowly.

"Since when do you smoke?" He asked me.

I put the cigarette out in the ashtray that was full of previously smoked ones, "Since about two months ago."

Paul looked at me in disbelief, "I quit in the winter. I had the flu and they tasted horrible when I was poorly. There's all kinds of warnings now about how dangerous they are. You need to quit."

"Did you come here just to tell me what to do?"

"Sasha," Paul leaned forward, "pull yourself together. Forget George. He's an idiot for what he did. He never deserved you in the first place."

"I deserved what happened, Paul. All those years of breaking his heart, and he finally got back at me," I was fuming thinking about him, "I heard she moved in with him. She moved in to Friar Park with my son. Do you know that I've been trying to call there to get in touch with Dhani and no one ever answers? I just want to see my son or know when I can see him again. Did George forget that I'm his mother?"

I was crying now, and Paul moved to sit beside me and bring him into my arms.

"Sasha," he said slowly, "It'll all work out. You'll see him again. I think that you and George just need a little time, and then you can work out what to do with Dhani. In the mean time, pull yourself together. Stop smoking. Stop drinking. Get out and walk around the city. Go to cafes, and be the New Yorker that I know you are. Sasha, you need to start the healing process because I hate to tell that I'm not sure if George is ever going to be in your life again. Meet new men."

"I can't. I haven't dated anyone besides John and George since 1957. It's pretty pathetic when I think about it."

"It's not," Paul said, "So, call John up to hang out. He lives near Central Park."

I sighed and stood from the couch, "If only it were that easy."

Paul looked at me intently, "What do you mean?"

"John called me a couple years ago and told me that it was best if we never saw each other again."

Paul sighed, "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"It doesn't matter. It's been two years since that happened. I'm not going to call him up like some desperate person. He made it very clear that he wanted our relationship to be over," I explained.

Paul stood from the couch, "That's odd. That doesn't sound like something John would do."

I stood there quietly, letting Paul's words sink in. I wondered.

 **September 20, 1979**

The weather in New York was starting to change. Summer was slowly being replaced by the autumnal colors in the tress and the cool breeze floating past. I had taken Paul's advice and tried not to be so miserable. Every other day I would find a new cafe in the city to try. I finally got in touch with George, and he agreed to bring Dhani over to New York for Christmas because he was apparently going to be vacationing in Hawaii with his mistress during that time. I scoffed at the thought of him and her.

Today's cafe of the day was one in the Upper West Side of Manhattan called La Fortuna. It sounded interesting and looked cute as I walked past. I entered through the front door, and my arrival was indicated with a ding of a bell. It smelled heavenly in here. The espresso and all of the baked goods mixing to form a delicious and almost familiar smell. There weren't many costumers in the small space. I noticed a man hidden by a newspaper sitting at the front table right by the door. I walked to the counter.

"Good Morning miss. How's your day so far?" An Italian man asked me from behind the register.

I smiled, removing my sunglasses, "Just fine. It smells great in here."

"Thanks," he said with a smile, "I don't believe I've seen you in here before."

"Oh no," I laughed, "I live in Tribeca, but I was in the area..."

"That's wonderful," he smiled, "We usually only have the regulars, but I love new faces. What can I get you this morning?"

"Oh, um, I'll have a cappuccino and a bagel, toasted with a light spread of cream cheese."

He smiled, "Coming right up. You have a seat, and we'll bring it to you. You pay on your way out."

"Okay," I said, "Thank you."

I made my way toward the back of the tiny cafe. I sat down at a table with my back to the front door. I looked out the back window and saw an outdoor seating area that would be perfect in the summertime. I got out my notebook and wrote the name and address of this cafe. I would only write down the ones that I really fell in love with, and this little place was absolutely charming.

"A bagel and cappuccino for the beautiful lady," a man's voice said from beside me.

His British accent gave him away. I recognized the voice instantly. Of all the cafes in New York, I had to pick the one that was visited by...

"John," I breathed out, looking up at him.

He sat my bagel and coffee down in front of me, "May I join you?"

I didn't answer him. I couldn't. I was too surprised by his presence. He sat down in front of me. I stared at his signature nose and smirk on his thin lips. He removed his sunglasses to reveal his almond shaped hazel eyes. I instantly saw the specs of green that I looked for every time we made eye contact. His hair was shoulder length and pushed back. He had on a white v-neck t-shirt and jeans. He looked good.

His laughed, "Are you going to say something?"

I shrugged, "I don't know what to say."

He leaned closer to me. I noticed he was chewing gum. His minty breath hit me as he spoke, "I've been thinking about you, Sasha. I saw you walk in, and I couldn't believe it. What are the odds that you walk into the cafe that I sit in every morning to read the paper?"

I forced grin. I honestly don't know how I feel now. John told me that he never wanted to see me again. He told me that our relationship, friends or something more, was over. Now, however, he was sitting in front of me acting as if that conversation never happened.

John coughed out a small laugh, "Cat got your tongue? What are you doing in New York?"

"It's none of your business," I snapped without thinking. I took a big drink of my cappuccino save me from the awkward moment.

John leaned back in his chair, "Oh, I see. Um, well, how's everything? How's Dhani?"

I couldn't sit here and do this. I couldn't pretend like John never said those horrible things to me over the phone, "I don't want to talk to you," I blurted out.

"Ouch. Sorry then," he stood up from the table, "I won't bother you love."

John started to walk away before catching himself and saying, "Just remember, Sasha, things aren't always what they seem on the surface."

I turned away from him. I waited until I heard the ding from the door opening before exhaling the breath I had been holding. I thought about what John said. What did he mean by that?

I gathered my things and walked to the cash register, "Thanks for the coffee and bagel. It was great, um, how much do I owe you?"

The Italian cashier smiled at me, "You don't own me a penny."

"No, let me pay you," I insisted.

"No really," the man said, "Mr. Lennon took care of it."

 **Author's Note: What did you think? Also, it's my spring break, so I hope to update quite a bit this week!**


	76. Chapter 76: Sweeter than Fiction

**Something**

 **Chapter 76: Sweeter than Fiction  
**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **October 11, 1979**

I sat at the bar in my kitchen staring at the sandwich I had made myself for lunch. It had been a couple weeks since I had seen John in that cafe, and I couldn't get him out of my head. I couldn't quite put my finger on what he meant when he said that things on the surface weren't always what they seem. Everything was so odd. How my life was playing out was confusing me. Living and being married to George so long made me think in a spiritual way more often. What are the chances of walking into John's favorite cafe when there are probably a million and one cafes in Manhattan alone? Nevertheless, as much as I hated to admit it, it was good to see him again. I had missed him. He was such a big part of my life, and suddenly he wasn't in it anymore. I kept replaying the encounter over and over again. He seemed different. There was something about him that was a little off. I shouldn't have snapped at him like I did, but I guess deep down I was still angry at him.

The phone rang, fishing me out of my thoughts.

I walked over and picked up, "Hello?"

I hushed voice spoke on the other line, "Sasha?"

I recognized the voice instantly, "Julian? Why are you whispering?"

"Listen, I just talked to mum, and she said that Auntie Maureen told her that you were in New York. I hate to bother you, but I need your help."

I hadn't seen Julian since last year. Cynthia and I were still friends, and the last time they came to visit was last year. I believe that Cynthia had even gotten herself married again.

"What do you need, Jules?" I asked, "And why are you whispering?"

He sighed and continued to whisper, "I'm at dad's. I don't want him to hear me using the phone. He might pick up and listen. I need you to come pick me up."

"Why?" My life was just getting more and more confusing.

"I'll tell you when you get here," he said on the other line, "We're just not getting along. Do you know where his apartment is?"

I thought for a moment, "It's the Dakota building on the west side of Central Park, right?"

"Yeah. Can you come and get me?"

"Julian," I sighed, "Um, it'll be about 45 minutes to an hour. I live down in Tribeca, and I don't know how traffic is this morning."

"That's fine. I just need to get out of here," he said, "Thanks. See you soon."

"Julian?" I caught him before he hung up.

"Yeah?"

I stuttered, "Um, don't, don't tell John that I'm coming to get you."

"Alright, bye."

The phone clicked, and I grabbed my keys off the counter. About 45 minutes later and I was parked at the gate of the Dakota building. I saw Julian walking toward my car. I had seen him last year, but he looked so much older. He had to be sixteen now. He was looking like his father more everyday. He had a bag throw over his shoulder.

He opened the passenger door, "Thanks for picking me up. Mum told me to call you, but I didn't want to bother you."

"You're not bothering me," I said as he climbed in the car and shut the door, "You didn't tell your father, did you?"

He laughed, "No, he thinks my step-dad is in town, and I'm going to stay with him for a few days. I can stay with you for a few days, right?"

"Sure, I'd like the company," I admitted, "So, what's going on?"

Julian looked at me, "How'd you put up with him for all those years? Now that I'm older, I realize how much of a dick he is."

"Julian!" I looked at him, "Don't say that about your father."

"Sorry," he sighed, "I guess it's just her, you know. Yoko makes him so, so mean. I don't remember him being this mean when it was you that he was with. He was actually a decent father to me. It's all about precious Sean now. He's a little brat."

I didn't know what to say. John must have said something to make him this angry, "What happened?"

"Everything was fine when I visited in the spring. I've been visiting more often in recent years. Ever since you and him were together in California. He took us all down to Florida for my birthday, and then they invited me to go to Japan with them in May. It was fine. Dad and I were getting along. I just arrived at the end of September, and him and Yoko have been getting into arguments, and they take out all their anger on me. I couldn't take it anymore. Dad's a mess."

I looked over at him again, "What do you mean?"

"When I got here, he looked like he hadn't left his room in days. He's been drinking a lot again. Like I said, he chose me to take all of his anger out on again. The other day he told me I had a stupid laugh, and he never wanted to hear it again. It made me upset that night, but I moved on. Today was the last straw though."

I couldn't believe John would say that Julian. Actually, I could. I knew how vicious his temper was.

Julian sighed, "Him and Yoko had a fight about something stupid. I was trying to calm him down after because he was so worked up. You know how his temper is. I guess he didn't want my help. He told me to leave him alone. He told me that all I was was the result of a bored Saturday night and a bottle of whiskey."

"Julian," I said as we came to a stop at a red light, "I'm sorry he said that to you. It doesn't matter what you came out of. Your mum loves you very much, and John loves you too. He's just stubborn sometimes."

"Well, he never loved mum anyway. He loved you, and he still loves you."

My heart stopped. I knew that John probably still loved me, but I was doubtful since his phone call two years ago, "What?"

"Listen, I like to eavesdrop, okay? Apparently, dad was saying your name in his sleep, and one night he apparently said your name when him and Yoko were...you know."

I chuckled slightly at his embarrassment, but then I went back to being in shock, "Oh."

The rest of our drive was mostly quiet except for small talk. Julian told me about how he finished school this year. I couldn't, however, get what he said about John and Yoko out of my head. I wondered if our encounter in the cafe had anything to do with it. Like I said, life was just getting weirder everyday.


	77. Chapter 77: Cleanup Time

**Something**

 **Chapter 77: Cleanup Time  
**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **October 12, 1979**

"So Sasha, what's for dinner?" Julian asked me as he made his way into the kitchen.

I glanced at him quickly, "Chicken, mashed potatoes, and broccoli."

God, he looked so much like John. I didn't mind Julian staying here a few days, but he reminded me of John so much. Last night, after our discussion in the car, we agreed to not talk about John, Yoko, or Sean for that matter. I had had so much fun catching up with Julian. We played Scrabble together last night and listened to music. He had grown so much in the last year that I hadn't seen him. He was like a little man now. When he would speak, I wondered how his voice got so low. I missed the little boy that begged John to marry me, but Julian was turning into a nice young man with a bright future.

I turned to him. He had sat down at the bar to watch me cook, "Your guitar skills are getting pretty good. I heard you playing in the living room."

"You think so? Dad was teaching me, but he's only taught me once on this particular trip," he said, looking down at the counter.

I walked over and leaned forward, resting on the counter top, "Hey, if you need me to teach you anything, I'm here."

"Thanks Sasha," he smiled before frowning again, "Can I talk to you about something?"

I smiled, "Sure, anything."

Julian sighed, "Well, I didn't want to talk to mum about it, and I guess now's not a good time for dad. Um, when did you have your first kiss?"

His question caught me off guard at first, "Um, I was fifteen. It was with my first boyfriend in Nashville. We had a little summer romance before the new school year started. He was a grade older than me, and I thought that I loved him."

"What happened?" Julian asked.

I sighed, "He moved away. I think he moved to Texas or somewhere. His grandparents still lived in Nashville, and they would say hi to me if I saw them around town. I always wondered if he loved me."

Julian picked at his fingernails, "You said you thought you loved him. Why didn't you know?"

"Well," I started. I knew we were about to get into me and John's relationship, but Julian was probably curious as to why me and his father were so back and forth and in love this whole time, "He was my first boyfriend, and I had never felt that way toward anyone. It turns out that it wasn't really love. It was more of a puppy love."

"How did you find out that it wasn't really love."

I sighed, "Because then I fell in love for real. I found out what love really felt like, and what I had in that summer romance wasn't it."

Julian looked up at me, "Who did you fall in love with?"

"A teddy boy from Liverpool," I smirked, "He was my first love, and I was his."

"Sorry," Julian stated, "I didn't mean to bring him up."

"It's alright," I said, grabbing his hand, "It's my past. I'm not ashamed of it."

Julian sighed again, "I was just wondering because there's this girl back in England. I really like her, and I want to kiss her, but I've never done it before, and I'm nervous."

I smiled, "Don't be nervous. Just be..."

The doorbell rang followed by pounding on the door. I told Julian to watch the chicken on the stove while I got the door.

When I opened it, my heart stopped.

"Sasha," he breathed out, "I know you don't want to talk, but..."

"John, what are you doing here?" I interrupted him.

He looked like he hadn't ate, bathed, or slept since I saw him at the cafe. He face was ridden with long stubble.

He rubbed his hands together nervously, "Sasha, I, ever since I saw you in the cafe the other day, I haven't been able to get you off of my mind. I started thinking about you a lot a couple months ago, and then you show up in the cafe. It's odd, and I just needed to see again."

I opened the door wider so he could enter my apartment, "John, I don't know what to say."

"You said that the other day," he smiled.

I closed the door and locked it, "Well, I don't. You made it perfectly clear that we needed to be out of each others lives. Twenty years of being such a strong part of each others lives was buried in one phone call."

"I can't tell you how sorry I am. It was not my decision..."

"Dad?" Julian asked, emerging from the kitchen.

John stared at him, "Jules? I thought you were with your step-dad."

"My step-dad is in England. I just needed a break from your apartment. Mum told me to call Sasha," Julian explained.

John didn't say anything back to him, he just looked at the ground.

"Julian," I said, "Set the table for dinner, and set a place for your father."

Julian turned and disappeared into the kitchen. I looked back at John, who was still looking at the ground.

"Do you want to stay for dinner, John?" I asked him.

"I'm so sorry, Sasha," he whispered.

He looked up from the ground. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. It had been awhile since I saw John cry, and I didn't know what to do at first. I grabbed his hand and led him to the couch. I kept hold of his hand as he quietly sniffled in front of me.

"Sasha," he took a deep breath, "Yoko didn't like the way I was looking at you. She said that I would do something stupid and ruin our marriage. She told me that Sean would end up like Julian, and I couldn't make that mistake a second time. Yoko dialed your number and told me to tell you that I never wanted to see you again. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have listened to her. I didn't know my life would be a living hell without you in it at all."

I brought John into a hug, "It's okay. I forgive you."

"And I've been thinking about you, and I just love you so much. I should've fought for you more," John rambled.

I sighed, pulling away from the hug and looking into his eyes, "It's alright. You're here with me now."

"How can you just forgive me so easily?"

"John, I'm thirty-eight years old. I don't have time to waste on this argument anymore. We know that we love each other, okay? Let's work out the rest later. You need to eat something."

John grinned at me, "You're so beautiful."

"Thanks John," I blushed.

"You're blushing," he laughed.

"It's just been awhile since someone said that to me," I stood from the couch, "Come on. Let's eat."

 **Author's Note: Two updates in one day! I'm on a roll. Thanks so much for the comments and votes!**

 **Well, now that John's back in Sasha's life, what do you think is going to happen? Is he going to leave Yoko?**


	78. Chapter 78: The Worst is Over Now

**Something**

 **Chapter 78: The Worst is Over Now  
**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **October 12, 1979**

We all sat around the table in silence. The only sound was the sound of forks clanging on the plates to gather the food. I couldn't stand the silence anymore.

"So, Julian, you said that your dad took you to Florida for your birthday?"

Julian looked up from his plate, "Yeah."

It went back to being quiet again. Well, I tried.

The agonizingly quiet dinner was soon over with, and we moved into the living room. John hadn't said a word since before dinner. I sat down on the couch, John sat down next to me, and Julian sat on the floor in front of the coffee table.

"Hey Sasha," Julian said, "You wanna get your butt kicked in Scrabble again?"

I smirked at him, "You're on Julian!"

I moved to sit on the floor in front of the couch so that I could be across the coffee table from Julian, "John, do you want to be on my team?"

John shook his head, "I'll watch the two of you."

"Dad's just scared because even the two of you together couldn't beat me," Julian said trying to evoke John's competitive response.

But, he said nothing. I frowned. Julian started to set up the Scrabble board. I thought about the man sitting behind me on the couch. I don't know if I had ever seen John so depressed. I wondered what his life has been like since our little romance in California. I knew him as a friend, but I didn't know what his home life with Yoko was like. I had a feeling she would put on a show when they were around me and George. John wasn't himself, and it was frustrating to me.

"Um, Earth to Sasha," Julian said.

I came out of my thoughts, "Sorry, what?"

Julian laughed, "I asked if you wanted to get started three times."

"I'm really sorry, Julian. I'm just tired all of a sudden. Can we leave the board set up and play tomorrow?"

Julian smirked, "Sure. You and dad need to talk anyway."

I reached across the table to smack his arm, "Go to bed," he rose from the floor, "And no eavesdropping!"

I watched as Julian made his way up the stairs to the bedrooms. I got up and walked to the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine and a couple of glasses. I need to unwind John out of this depressive state that he was sitting in, and I felt that the alcohol would do the trick.

I came back in the living room and poured us both a glass. I handed John one, "For you."

"Thanks," he murmured.

I frowned and sat down close to him, "What's on your mind, Lennon?"

He looked into my eyes, captivating me. I saw the green specs shining through the hazel. There was also sadness and regret.

"Sasha, I, I had this big speech planned out of what I was going to say to you, but now that you're sat so close to me, it doesn't matter," he explained.

I took a sip of my wine, "We do need to talk though. I can tell that you have a lot of demons eating away at you now."

"How can you tell?" He asked me quietly.

"John," I placed my hand on his thigh, he shuddered, "Um, I've known you for twenty two years. I can tell when you're hurting. Tell me what's been going on. Julian said that you and Yoko have been arguing."

He took a big gulp of wine, almost drinking the whole glass, before setting it on the coffee table, "We have been. It's just that I gave up music, you know. She convinced me to give up music until Sean was older, so I could spend time with him. She likes to use Sean as some kind of barter, you know. She tells me that he'll end up like Julian if I make one slip up. So, I became a househusband. Yoko goes out and works and comes home, and I have dinner on the table. It got to the point where I didn't see the point in it anymore. That's not what I'm supposed to be doing, Sasha. I started locking myself in my room, drinking the day away. Then, I started thinking about my life, about you."

I couldn't speak. I had no idea what John had given up. I thought that he was the one that wanted to take a break from music, but it was Yoko convincing him behind the scenes. What got me was the fact that she still goes out and works on her art or whatever it is. John had become nothing more than Yoko's puppet.

John cleared his throat, "I started to think about you so much that it started interfering with my previous feelings for Yoko. I love her, but I never can stop thinking about you when I'm with her. A life with you is what I was supposed to have, you know. I didn't have to give up music to be a good father. Look at Paul and Linda, they take their kids on tour with them. We could've had that, Sasha."

I didn't want to reply to that. I just sat quietly.

"I don't know if I can go on like this," John's voice was almost at a whisper, "Since the day I called you, I've been having those dreams about the woman sitting with me. Here lately, they've been more nightmares. Something bad happens to me or the woman. The day I saw you at the cafe, I didn't have the dream that night."

I remembered him telling me about these dreams in California. The one he would have only if I wasn't in his life. They convinced him that I was his soul mate.

"Sasha," I looked up at him, "I seem like the perfect husband and father to the public right now. A man who gave up his career for his kid. We seem like the perfect little family, but behind the scenes it's a mess."

It clicked then. Now, I understood what he meant in the cafe. It was almost seeming like a cry for help.

"Yoko, she," John struggled to speak, "she relapsed on heroin, and I know that before long, she'll be giving it to me. I don't want that torture again, Sasha. That's what took me away from you, from Paul, from the Beatles. I can't do it."

There were tears streaming down his face now. I brought my hands up to wipe the tears away with my thumbs. John was broken. He was trying to find himself again after being made into a man that Yoko wanted. I felt sorry for him. He seemed lost, like he didn't know his purpose anymore.

"John, you know I'll be here for you if you ever need anything," I told him, resting my forehead against his.

He sniffled, "Can I kiss you?"

"I don't know, John," I whispered.

He ignored me, and soon his lips were on mine, moving in one fluid motion. It had been five years since I've felt John's lips on mine, and I had to admit that I missed it. Just like the first kiss at Paul's house in Liverpool, sparks flew. My whole body was electrified. I wrapped my arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist as if he was never going to let me go. We leaned back on the couch, so that I was lying down on my back.

I pulled away from the kiss, panting, "John," was all I could muster.

A tear escaped from his eye and fell onto my cheek as he hovered above me, "I've waited so long to do that. I've been so sad, Sasha. I haven't seen the point in going on in a life where I'm not making music and where I'm not with you."

I sat up, making him sit up as well. We were still holding each other. My face was inches from his, "What do you mean?"

I couldn't stand the thought of John being depressed. Tears surfaced in my eyes.

"We were on holiday in Bermuda at the beginning of September. I was thinking about my life, and how the last couple of years have just been a waste. I was thinking about you, and how in love with George you are. I looked out my hotel window, and I seriously thought about jumping. It was either jump out or get back in bed. The small possibility of seeing you again made me get back in bed," he explained to me.

I was full-on crying now. The thought of John being so depressed that he thought about taking his own life was too much. I started sobbing heavily and trying to catch my breath. I stood from the couch and walked across the room. John's arms were wrapped around me in a matter of seconds.

"Shhh," he pleaded, "I shouldn't have told you that."

"I just can't stand the thought of losing you. I can't stand the thought of never seeing you again," I cried into his chest, "You mean so much to me."

John held me tighter, "As long as I with you, I promise I'm not going anywhere. I can't be bothered to be with anyone else but you. I'm getting too old to waste away my life wishing that I was with you instead."

"I love you," I whispered. It felt so good to admit that.

John pulled away from our embrace and grabbed my hand, "I love you too."

"Stay with me tonight," I pleaded, "Just hold me."

John kissed me lightly. I grabbed his hand and led him up the stairs to my room. We got ready for bed. I lied in his arms, snuggled up close to him. I missed him so much, and I didn't realize until this moment. Maybe I had made a major mistake by leaving California with George, but that didn't matter now.

The next morning, I was still wrapped in John's arms tightly. I opened my eyes to meet his.

"Sasha," he said quietly, "I didn't have that dream last night."


	79. Chapter 79: (Just Like) Starting Over

**Something**

 **Chapter 79: (Just Like) Starting Over  
**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **November 22, 1979**

I pulled up to the gate of the Dakota. I was nervous as hell to go into John's apartment. John had been coming over to my apartment ever since last month. I had pulled back a little bit. Knowing that he was married and had a son at home made me feel guilty for letting him kiss me and hold me at night. He finally asked what happened with George, and I told him. I hadn't talked to anyone besides Paul about it, so of course I was a crying mess during the story. As for John and Yoko, he told me that they were still arguing, but she wasn't giving up. I don't think she knew about John coming to see me. I would like to keep it that way on account of what she might do when she finds out. John had asked me to cook a Thanksgiving meal for him. The last time I cooked one for him was in '73 right when we got to L.A. He told me to come pick him up at his apartment. Julian had just flown in today as well, and I believe that Sean was here too. I hadn't seen Sean since he was not even two years old. John assured me that Yoko wasn't here and wouldn't be back anytime soon. She had gone out of town to meet up with her daughter and spend some with her.

I took a deep breath and stepped out of my car. The streets glistened from the rain this morning and clouds covered the sky and made things gray. A cool breeze blew through my hair as I made my way in the gated entrance of the Dakota building. I always loved this building. My aunt used to live a couple buildings behind this one when I was a little girl. I would walk past it on the way to her apartment wondering how grand it was inside.

It was grand alright. I walked up to the front desk to check in.

"Hello miss, can I help you?" The man said from the behind the desk.

I smiled, "I'm here to see John Lennon. He's expecting me."

"Right, Ms. McCartney," the man smiled, "Just take the elevator all the way to the top floor. His apartment is down the hall on the right."

"Thanks," I said before turning away and getting into the elevator.

The elevator walls were mirrored, so I took this opportunity to check my appearance and fix anything that needed to be fixed. I laughed at myself primping for John.

The elevator doors opened to reveal a long hallway. I walked a few feet and stopped at the first door on the right. I brought my hand up to knock and beat swiftly on the door.

Julian opened it, "Hey Sasha!"

"Hi Julian, how was your flight?" I asked, hugging him.

"Just fine," he turned around to yell out into the apartment, "Dad! Sasha's here!"

I smiled. Julian turned back to me, "Come in. Dad's in the kitchen."

I followed him into the apartment. The smell of fresh baked bread made me hungry. John told me that he had gotten into bread making, and I couldn't wait to try the infamous Lennon bread. Julian lead me into the kitchen. The apartment was nice. It was big, but it seemed very cozy.

John had his back turned toward us, washing dishes at the sink. Sean was sat at the table eating a piece of toast and eggs. Julian cleared his throat.

John turned and smiled, "Sasha, you look beautiful."

I blushed. I don't know why John was having this effect on me. It's like we had gone back in time to the fifties, and I had never been in love before. I couldn't help that he was making me blush. This is all part of the process of falling back in love though.

He walked up to me and leaned forward to kiss me. I turned my head, so he ended up kissing my cheek instead. He pulled away with a confused look on his face. Julian stared at the awkward encounter.

I changed the subject, "The bread smells delicious. I can't wait to try it."

John still had a confused look on his face, "It's almost ready. Then, I have to get Sean dressed. After that, we can head to yours for Thanksgiving food."

"I know you're excited," I smirked at him.

He turned to Julian, "Jules, I don't think you've ever had Sasha's Thanksgiving meal, but you are in for a treat. I didn't eat breakfast just to be ready to stuff myself to the brim."

I laughed at him rubbing his stomach. Julian rolled his eyes. Sean giggled, and I looked over at him. He was so much bigger now. It made me miss Dhani. John noticed me looking at Sean.

"You miss Dhani, don't you?" He asked me.

I looked at him, "He'll be here for Christmas."

John looked at Sean, "Hey Sean, why don't you come give Sasha a big hug."

"Okay daddy," he jumped down from his chair at the table.

I leaned down as he ran to me. He wrapped his arms around my neck and gave me a big hug. I held my arms around him for a few moments. I did miss Dhani so much.

Sean pulled away and grabbed my face, "You're very pretty."

I laughed, "You're very handsome," I told him.

"I taught him well," John said, smirking, "Well Sean, have Julian get you dressed and then we're going to Sasha's house."

Sean followed Julian out of the room. John stepped closer to me and leaned in to kiss me again. I turned my head again, so he kissed my cheek.

"Sasha, what's wrong?"

I looked at the ground, "I just feel bad. Sean's so cute, and this is your apartment with your wife, and...I can't do this again, John. I felt so guilty about you and Cynthia."

John placed his finger under chin to lift my head, "Cynthia and I were broken whether you were in the picture or not. I love you. Don't forget that. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I don't want it to be too late. Now, let me kiss you."

I leaned toward John. He closed the small gap between us by putting his lips on mine. We stood there for what seemed like forever, kissing each other. I did love John. I just hoped he was telling me the truth. I hoped he was serious about all of this. I didn't feel like getting played by him, especially not after what happened with George.

Julian made gagging noises behind us, causing us to pull away from one another.

"You two done with your snogging session?"

John laughed and turned to get the bread out of the oven. I watched as he wrapped the two loaves in plastic. We headed out to my car after that. I made sure everyone was buckled in before starting the drive to my apartment. That evening, we ate the huge Thanksgiving meal. John asked if he could stay the night after he explained that Yoko wouldn't be back for a week. We were sitting in the living room late that night. I had put Sean to bed a couple of hours ago. John and Julian were playing Monopoly, John's favorite board game.

I yawned, "I think I'll head to bed. All that turkey made me sleepy."

"Goodnight, love," John said to me, "I'll be up after I make Jules go bankrupt."

"You wish," Julian said.

I said goodnight and headed up the stairs. It felt that as soon as I closed my eyes I began dreaming. Only it wasn't a dream, it was a memory. It was my last night in Hamburg in the dingy bathroom of the Kaiserkeller, something I had pushed out of my mind and hadn't thought about in years.

 _I tried to run, but he caught me roughly by the arm and pushed me against the wall, "Where do you think you're going? You'll pay for what you've done."_

 _I went numb as I slipped into a state of shock. My hearing became muffled as I had a sort of out of body experience. John was hitting me all over. I felt the pain flare out all over my body, but inside I felt nothing. I felt empty. As John's fist connected with my face again, I wondered how I let it get this far._

 _He began punching my ribs and stomach, and I couldn't help but to finally let blood-curling screams out as he hit me. In a split second, I was being thrown to the ground. He pulled his trousers down fast, and knelt on the ground in front of me. He ran his dirty hands up thighs before ripping my panties off. I couldn't move. My body was numb with the pain that he had caused. He thrust into me roughly and without warning. A stinging sensation began low in my body as he pounded into me on the filthy bathroom floor. He brought his hand to hold tightly around my neck, slightly restricting my breathing. His eyes bore into mine. They weren't my John's eyes. They couldn't be because there was something evil behind them. I looked at the bright white lights shining from the ceiling. Tears ran over my temples and into my hair. I wanted to die. I wanted him to kill me._

 _John finished inside me with a loud grunt. He stood up and zipped his leather trousers. He gave my stomach a hard kick and spit on me before walking out of the bathroom._

 **John's POV  
**

"You'll never take Boardwalk from me," I evilly laughed at Julian.

"Dad, shh, do you hear that?" Julian asked me before becoming quiet.

I got quiet too and listened intently. From upstairs, I could hear muffled screams and cries.

"Sasha," I jumped up and ran up the stairs.

I barged into her room to find her screaming and crying in her sleep. She was having a nightmare. I ran over to her and shook her awake. I held her close to me as the screams turned to sobs.

"John," she cried into my chest, "Don't hurt me. Please."

I pulled her away from my chest to look into her eyes, "I'm not going to hurt you. I love you. We're starting over, okay?"

She placed her head on my chest once more. She was still sobbing, "Please, don't hurt me."


	80. Chapter 80: Real Love

**Author's Note: First of all, I want to say a massive thank you to all of you for reading and voting! I would love it if you would leave some more comments to let me know what you think. Secondly, I want to say a big thank you to Sir George Martin. He was so instrumental in the Beatles' careers, and he will be truly missed. R.I.P Sir George.**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 80: Real Love**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **December 8, 1979**

I stepped back to look at the Christmas tree that I picked up at a local tree farm yesterday. It didn't have any decorations yet, but tonight was the night. I loved Christmas time. Everyone that knew me knew that this was my favorite time of year. I had an apple Cinnamon candle burning which mixed with the smell of the fresh pine tree I had just set up and the gingerbread cookies baking in the kitchen. I had decorated the house early this morning, with the tree being the only remaining thing that wasn't completely festive. Everything had to be ready. Julian was flying in today with Dhani. I had missed him so much. I hadn't seen him since April, and I knew he probably looked so much bigger by now.

As I thought about Dhani, I went over to switch the radio onto the Christmas music station.

The door opened, and John walked in, "It's the eighth of December, you know what that means?"

He walked into the living room carrying two loaves of freshly baked bread. I had given him a key to my apartment after Thanksgiving.

He kissed me sweetly, "It's time for Sasha McCartney to decorate her Christmas tree!"

I laughed at him, "I missed you."

I hadn't seen John in a week and a half. He had apparently been busy with Sean and Yoko. We had talked more about the relationship that we were starting. John assured me that I would be the one that he ended up with by the end of the year next year. He had yet to talk to Yoko about it, and as far as I knew, she had no clue about John coming to see me.

"I missed you too," he said, kissing me again, "So why is the eighth of December the day you decorate the tree?"

I took the loaves of bread from him to take them to the kitchen, and John followed behind me, "Because this is always the day I did this growing up with my parents. Mom would make gingerbread cookies, and we would eat them after decorating the tree. She would fix a big meal before we decorated. I've told this story to you so many times, John."

"I know. I just like to see you when you talk about it."

"This date is always the day that Christmas officially begins for me," I explained, "And today is very special."

"You get to see Dhani again," John said.

I smiled at him, "I've just missed him so much. Julian was bringing him over. They should be here soon."

John got closer to me, "I love to see you during this time of the year, Sasha. You're so happy, and to be honest with you, Christmas isn't the same without you."

"Aww, John, you softie." I smacked his chest.

He smirked at me, "I'm serious. I remember you telling me how much you loved it after our first date when we were sitting up on my bed at Mendips."

I took the cookies out of the oven to cool, "Sometimes I wish I could go back and do it again."

"You don't know how much I wish that," John said quietly.

We both went quiet. I reckoned that we were both thinking about how we would do our relationship over and give us a happy ending knowing what we now.

The doorbell rang, "That's Dhani!"

I ran to the door with John hot on my trail. I opened the door quickly to reveal Julian holding Dhani.

I took Dhani from Julian's arms and kissed him, "Oh, Dhani I've missed you so much!"

"Mummy," he gave me a tight hug around my neck.

"Good to see you too," Julian said from the doorway.

John laughed, "Oh, come on Jules, she just saw you a couple weeks ago. She hasn't seen Dhani since April."

"I missed you too, Julian," I smirked at him.

I continued to keep Dhani in my arms as we walked into the kitchen so I could start supper. He was babbling on about what he had been learning at preschool and the friends he had made. I had missed him so much.

I sat him down at the table, "Guess what baby?"

"What?" He yelled.

"Mummy made gingerbread cookies to decorate for after we decorate the tree."

"Cookies!" He yelled again.

John laughed from behind me and followed me over to the stove. Julian sat down at the table with Dhani. I saw Dhani get one of coloring books and boxes of crayons I had set out for him.

"Julian, will you color with me?" Dhani asked him.

Julian smiled at me, then looked back at Dhani, "Sure."

I began to peel potatoes at the sink. John wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my neck, "I love seeing you as a mum."

I laughed, "You do?"

"Yeah, it's pretty sexy," he rested his chin on my shoulder, "It's crazy how much Dhani looks like George. He's like his little clone."

"Yeah," I agreed, "At least I know he'll grow up to be handsome. The Beatles must have strong genes."

John chuckled, "What do you mean?"

"Well, Julian and Sean look like you. Dhani looks so much like George. Paul's kids look like him. Ringo's kids look like him, with the exception of Lee, she looks like Maureen more than Ringo. The Beatles genes override the woman's most of the time," I laughed.

"They can start their own group when they're older and be like us," John suggested.

The thought of the kids forming a second Beatles in the future made me laugh.

John kissed up and down my neck again, "You're so beautiful today. You're beautiful everyday, mama."

John's old nickname for me slipped past his lips. He hasn't used it since California. I had to admit that I missed it.

"You haven't called me mama in a long time," I noted out loud.

"Yeah, I start saying it again when I get really attached," he said with a sensual tone in his voice.

John moved his hands up from my waist and placed them on my breasts. I moved quickly the break the contact.

"John," I whispered, "The kids will see."

"So let them see. Julian's sixteen. Don't you know what I was doing when I was sixteen," he whispered back, moving his hand down the front of my stomach, "You."

His fingers danced above the waist band of my skirt before sliding in. He traced his fingers over the top of panties, almost to my...

"John," I pulled away from him quickly.

I noticed that Julian had looked up at us.

"John," I said again, stuttering, "Will you, um, get the green beans from over there?"

John smirked at me. Julian went back to coloring with Dhani. I caught my breath from the encounter. The truth is, John and I hadn't made that particular step in this relationship yet. I wanted to wait. I didn't want to get too attached before I knew for sure that he was completely serious about all of this.

John set the bowl of green beans beside me and strolled over to the table to sit with Julian and Dhani. I continued to go through the motions of fixing dinner. I kept thinking about what almost was between me and John just then. I wanted it. Of course I wanted it, but I just wasn't sure if it was the right time.

After supper, we decorated the tree. We laughed and danced to the Beach Boys Christmas album. The time had come to put the star on top.

"Alright, Julian, Dhani," John said, "Sasha and I made a tradition in 1957 that we've had to do every Christmas we've decorated for together."

I smiled, "I thought you would've forgotten by now."

"I'm not that old, Sasha," John frowned at me, "Come here."

Just like tradition, I grabbed the star, and John picked me up so I could reach to put the star on top. When it was placed perfectly on top, John set me back down on my feet. Julian and Dhani clapped. John walked over to the wall and plugged the lights in. The tree illuminated the room even more. It looked great.

"Wow," I smiled, "I think this is the best one I've ever done."

John kissed me softly, "It's because I helped."

I laughed and smacked his arm, "Always so charmingly arrogant, John Lennon."

He smirked at me. A few moments later, I suggested that we decorate our gingerbread men and eat them. When that was finished, Dhani could hardly keep his eyes open. I carried him up the stairs with Julian close behind me. John was cleaning up the mess we had made in the kitchen. Julian watched as I read Dhani a bedtime story. He never knew the ending, however, because he fell right to sleep in the middle of the story. I kissed his forehead and closed the door quietly. Julian stopped me in the hallway.

"Sasha," he said.

I grinned at him, "Yeah?"

"Um," he started, "I know it's none of my business, but I just wanted to let you know that Dad loves you so much. He doesn't treat Yoko the way he treats you."

I smiled, "Thanks for telling me that, Julian. I love him a lot too. I always have. Now, you better get some sleep. You've had a long day with the flight and all. Goodnight."

Julian smiled at me, "Goodnight Sasha."

He went to his room and closed the door as I walked down the stairs. John was sitting on the sofa with a glass of wine. There was a glass on the coffee table waiting for me.

Before I could sit down, he asked me, "Sasha, do you still have that piano room?"

"Yeah, come with me," I said.

We walked into the room where I kept my instruments. In the middle of the room was a black baby grand piano. John sat down at it and patted the spot next to him for me to sit down.

"I want to play you something," he said quietly.

I kissed him, "You've been writing?"

"I started writing again the moment I saw you in that cafe. I've been working on this for you. Tell me what you think."

I watched as John started playing a hauntingly beautiful melody on the piano. I remembered back to Liverpool when I began teaching him piano. He opened his mouth, and his singing voice that I love so much sounded since five years of being deprived of it.

 _All my little plans and schemes_  
 _Lost like some forgotten dream_  
 _Seems like all I really was doing_  
 _Was waiting for you_

 _Just like little girls and boys_  
 _Playing with their little toys_  
 _Seems like all they really were doing_  
 _Was waiting for you_

 _Don't need to be alone_  
 _No need to be alone_

 _It's real love_  
 _It's real, yes it's real love_  
 _It's real_

 _From this moment on I know_  
 _Exactly where my life will go_  
 _Seems that all I really was doing_  
 _Was waiting for love_

 _Don't need to be afraid_  
 _No need to be afraid_

 _It's real love_  
 _It's real, yes it's real love_  
 _It's real_

 _Thought I'd been in love before,_  
 _But in my heart I wanted more_  
 _Seems like all I really was doing_  
 _Was waiting for you_

 _Don't need to be alone_  
 _No need to be alone_

 _It's real love_  
 _Yes it's real, yes it's real love_  
 _It's real, yes it's real love..._

He finished the song. I had tears in my eyes. In that moment, I knew that John was serious. This was serious. I knew he would stop at nothing until we were together just like we were always meant to be. He kissed me, softly at first, then longingly. He grabbed me and picked me up bridal style, carrying me up to my bedroom. We never broke our kiss on the way there. When we made it to my room, he kicked the door closed with his foot and lied me down on the bed. We stripped each other from our clothes, and John made love to me for the first time in five years. Our hands roaming each others bodies, our voices moaning each others names. Hours later, we collapsed beside each other panting.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too," John brought me into his arms.

My eyelids started to become heavy. I snuggled into his chest, taking in his scent and the familiar feeling of his arms wrapped around me.

The last thing I heard before drifting off to sleep was his voice, "Forever and always."


	81. Chapter 81: I'm Losing You

**Something**

 **Chapter 81: I'm Losing You  
**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **December 31, 1979**

It had been a week since George had collected Dhani to go back to England with him. Uncertainty was still there about when I would see him next. George said he wasn't sure when Dhani could come back to New York. The encounter with George had been brief and awkward. It had been so long since I had seen him, and he was acting like he didn't want to be speaking to me. Nonetheless, we had that short conversation and he took off with Dhani without even saying goodbye. I missed the old, sweet George.

Then, there was John. It had been a few weeks since we had consummated our new relationship. I guessed that things were still going okay with Yoko, and I wondered when he would tell her. I couldn't stop thinking about him. Every time he came to visit now, we couldn't keep our hands off each other. There was no doubt in my mind that John and I were finally going to end up together. Nothing was going to go wrong this time or stand in our way of being together. I kept replaying the song he wrote for me over and over.

"Hello, Sasha," Julian waved his hand in front of my face.

I looked at him, "What?"

"I asked you when you think dad's gonna be here," he said.

"Oh," I said, "I don't know. Could be anytime soon."

Julian had been coming to New York more often since he wasn't in school anymore. He would split his time between staying with John and Yoko and retreating to my place. I didn't mind that Julian was around. I enjoyed the company, and he had grown into a pleasant young man.

We were sat together on my sofa. Our shoulders touching. Julian had gone back to reading a book. I was just staring at the roaring flames in the fireplace waiting for John to arrive. He promised he would spend New Years with me and Julian. It was now nearing ten o'clock, and I was starting to worry. Julian flipped the TV on to watch coverage of the ball drop up in Times Square.

The door swung open, "Hell, traffic was mad. I think my driver had to circle the whole tri-state area to get here," John complained as he walked into the living room, carrying a paper bag with one arm.

"John," I jumped from the couch and leaped into his arms.

He wrapped one of his arms around me, "I missed you too, mama," he chuckled.

"What's this?" I motioned to the bag.

He grinned at me, his hazel eyes shining, "A little something to celebrate the new year with."

Julian walked up beside us, "Hi dad. Glad you're finally here."

"Good to see you too, Julian," John hugged him, "When you come to New York, you're supposed to be visiting your father not Sasha. I'm starting to guess you have the hots for her."

Julian turned a bright shade of red and didn't speak.

"John," I got his attention, "Come in the kitchen with me."

John followed me into the kitchen, still laughing about making Julian blush. As soon as we were out of Julian's sight, John practically threw the paper bag on the counter and caressed me.

Our lips connected and started moving in a passionate heat together. His tongue parted my lips and swirled around. Even after all these years, John managed to make me weak in the knees with every kiss and embrace. I ran my hands up and down his back as he did the same to me, wishing we could just go ahead and move this to the bedroom.

I pulled away from him, panting, "John, we're crazy you know."

He shrugged, "You've always made me crazy."

I laughed, "And shame on you for embarrassing Julian."

"What? He's a Lennon. Of course he's attracted to you."

I started removing the snack food from the paper bag, "Please don't say that to me. I don't even want to think about the possibility that he's thinking about me like that. I'm practically his step mom."

"But you're not...yet," John smirked at me, "That doesn't matter though. You're a beautiful women who's in and out of his life, and he's a sixteen year old boy."

I took a bottle of champagne out of the bag and smiled at John, "Anyway, I don't want to talk about it anymore."

John came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder, "Fine. Just be aware that you have a young boy in the house who has raging hormones. Try not to be so sexy. That might be hard for you though."

"Oh, John," I said as he kissed my neck, "Where does your wife think you're celebrating New Years? You still haven't told her about us, have you?"

"I'll tell her, Sasha," John said, "when the time is right, but for now, she thinks I'm out at the pubs with friends."

I don't know how I felt that John hadn't told Yoko about him coming to see me. All that mattered was that John wasn't going to hurt me again. I knew I should've stayed with him in LA instead of letting George convince me otherwise.

Later, the clock was about to strike midnight. John had a party hat on at this point. He was a little tipsy from the champagne. I had a couple glasses as well, and John decided that since it was a special occasion, Julian could have a glass as well. We were still watching the live coverage of the ball drop.

John brought me close as we stood in front of the TV. The three of us began the countdown along with everyone on TV watching the ball drop, "10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

I gave Julian a kiss on the cheek, making him blush. John brought me in for a real kiss. After a small make out session, he leaned back, resting his forehead on mine.

He whispered for only us to hear, "I promise to make 1980 the best year of our lives, and I've been thinking. I want to make a deal with you to show you how serious I am about this. By your 40th birthday, Sasha, on April 13, 1981, you and I will be married. We'll be each others to have for the rest of our lives. I swear that promise to you on everything that I love. I love you, mama."

There were tears in my eyes, "I love you too, John."

I kissed him once more. I thought about the sweet words he had spoken to me. He was serious, and he actually had a plan for us. I couldn't be happier as we stood embracing and kissing in the middle of the living room.

There was a knock at the door, pulling us apart. Our foreheads resting on each others as we stared into one another's eyes. Julian had gone to answer the door.

Suddenly, he ran back in the room, "I'm sorry," he said quickly.

Right on his tail was last person I wanted to see right now. John jumped back away from me.

Tears were running down her cheeks. Her shrill voice sounded, "John, I knew you were back with this whore. I'm not an idiot."

John looked at me, then back at her, "Yoko," was all he spoke.


	82. Chapter 82: Dear Yoko

**Something**

 **Chapter 82: Dear Yoko**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **January 1, 1980**

It was quite the sight to see. John was standing beside me still gripping my arm rather tightly as Yoko stood in front of us with tears running down her cheeks. Julian was standing beside the couch watching in awe of the situation that had unfolded in my living room. I knew how Yoko felt, though. After all, it had been me in her shoes nearly twelve years ago.

"After everything we've been through, John," she almost whispered through the tears, "You're going to leave me for her. She'll hurt you just like she did a few years ago. You've never been the same John. She changes you."

I was amused by the fact that Yoko was talking about me like I wasn't standing right in front of her.

John sighed and released my arm, "Maybe it's you that changes me, Yoko."

Yoko's tears spilled over faster, "What do you mean? We've been married for ten years, John. How long have you two ever been married? Oh, that's right, not even one day. You can't even make it to marriage with her, John. Don't you think that means that you love me more than her."

"Shut up!"

John and I turned to see Julian fuming with his hands clenched into fists by his sides.

"Julian," I warned. I could tell from beside me that John was getting angrier by the moment.

Julian stepped a bit closer, "Just shut up! You've been nothing but awful to me ever since you married dad. I'm tired of being quiet and not standing up for myself against you. The truth is you make dad horrible to me. Sasha makes him nice to me. I don't know which John is the real one, but I'm pretty sure it's the one that comes out with Sasha. My earliest memories of dad smiling are of him smiling at Sasha even when he was married to mum. Don't you get it, Yoko? You'll never be Sasha, okay? No one ever will. Dad always looks so happy when he's with her. And you know what I think," he paused, "I think you're sick with jealously. You're so jealous of Sasha that it's pathetic. You're jealous of the relationship that dad has with her because it's not as good as the relationship he has with you. You're jealous that she's more talented than you. And you're especially jealous that she's more beautiful than you!"

There was silence for long time. I couldn't believe that Julian had finally got all of that off of his chest from years of holding back around Yoko. I was afraid of how John might react. I looked at him.

"Julian," John glared at him, "go to your room right now."

Julian shot a pleading gaze toward me before retreating to the stairs.

"Is that how you feel John?" Yoko spoke quietly, "Are you happier with her?"

John sighed and looked at the ground. _Go on, John, tell her the truth._

"Yoko," he started, "it's...it's complicated."

I frowned. I couldn't believe that John hadn't told her about us, about how happy and in love we were. He needed to tell her everything to make her understand why John and I needed to end up together.

Yoko wiped her tears, "Come with me, your wife, and we'll sort through this mess."

I watched John. He couldn't leave with her, he just couldn't

I felt a lump in my throat and a pain in my chest as he walked toward her. She smiled and opened her arms to him. My heart broke as he wrapped his arms around her. Yoko pulled away and walked toward the door.

John turned to me, "I'm sorry, Sasha," he whispered before walking out of the apartment.

I backed up after I heard the door close after them. I sat down slowly on the couch. I was numb. I couldn't believe what had happened. He went with her. He left me and went with her.

I buried my face in my hands and sobbed loudly. I did it again. I opened myself up to John just to be disappointed yet again. It wasn't fair. Why didn't the universe want us to be together? I always thought we were meant to be, but maybe I was just naive.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, "I'm sorry for my outburst. I just had to let her finally know what I think of her."

I turned to look at Julian through my blurry eyes, "It's alright. Everyone has things they need to get off of their chest every once in awhile."

"Are you alright?" He asked, wiping one of my tears.

I sighed, "I just can't believe that he left with her. After everything we've said to each other, he just left with her."

I could tell that Julian didn't know what to say. This topic was beyond his years and experiences. So, he brought me into a hug. I did something that I never expected to do in front of him, but I fell apart in his arms, gripping him tighter. He rubbed my back and shushed me quietly. This was his mother coming out in him now. The caring, gentle side that could almost never be judgemental or nasty.

After crying out all of my tears, I leaned back, "I'm so proud of the young man you've become, Julian. Just promise me one thing."

"What's that?" He asked, curiously.

I took a deep breath, "Whenever you find a woman that you love more than anything on this planet, don't you dare let her go. I don't care how bad it gets, how bad you mess up. Fight for her. Remember me. Please don't put her through the torture your father has put me through."

Julian just nodded slowly. I could see that there were tears in his eyes, but he was trying to stay strong for me.

I touched his face, then kissed him on the cheek, "Goodnight Julian."

He told me good night, but his voice was fading because I was already halfway up the stairs. The hallway was cloudy because of the tears welling up in my eyes once more. Before I hit the pillow, I prayed that John would be here in the morning.


	83. Chapter 83: Help Me to Help Myself

**Something**

 **Chapter 83: Help Me to Help Myself  
**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **January 3, 1980**

I heard his footsteps finally enter my bedroom. His boots clanging against the hardwood then going silent as they stepped onto the rug that laid underneath my bed. I could hear his breathing, slow and almost reserved. It had been two days since he chose to go with her, and for two days I had been here in the same position. I was lying in bed with my knees almost pulled to my chest. A million thoughts had been running through my mind since that argument played out in front of me. I relived my unfortunate love story with John over and over again. Should I finally just give up? I questioned why I had gotten so attached and let myself believe that he honestly was going to choose me in the end.

"Sasha," he said quietly.

I continued to stare at the wall, as I had done for two days now.

He cleared his throat, "Julian called me. He's worried about you."

I didn't say anything. I didn't care why he finally showed up here.

"I was worried about you," he said.

I scoffed. It was sad that it hadn't gotten to the point where I didn't know if I could believe him anymore. Being with John was just a constant game of ping pong. Back and forth, back and forth.

"I'm too old for this," I muttered, "I'm not wasting the rest of my life wondering if we'll finally get our happy ending."

John sat down in the chair that faced me. He didn't particularly look well himself if I'm honest. Dark circles outlined his eyes. His facial hair was growing in ever so slowly creating a scruffy, unkempt look.

"I'm sorry, Sasha," He whispered, trying to catch my eyes, but instead they were looking at the ground.

"It's so funny," I spoke, "I would've done anything to hear you say those words to me after Hamburg when I was so young and naive. Now, I can't stand to hear you say because I'm not sure you mean it."

I looked up at John and was surprised to see tears slowly trickling down his cheeks, "I don't what more I can say, Sasha. I want us to have our happy ending so badly. I would give up everything for it. However, it's not that simple. I'm married, Sasha. Yoko's my wife. Part of me does still love her."

I didn't have anything to say. John didn't deserve to know what I really thought about his relationship with Yoko. I thought she was manipulative and controlling. I think that John is in love with her because he's been trained to be in love with her.

"Sasha," John wiped his eyes, "I wish it could be as simple as it used to be. It was so simple in Liverpool when we were teenagers. We planned our whole lives out with each other and didn't have a care in the world, we just knew that we would be together. Even out in California a few years ago was simple. I knew that all I wanted was you. Yoko wasn't there to get in the way."

I sat up for the first time really in two days, "John, you are your own person. You choose who's right and what's best for yourself. Don't let her choose all these things for you. You have to listen to your heart."

"I love you," he murmured then got a bit louder, "I love you so much. I want to end up with you. That's what I've always wanted. Out in L.A., I was going to propose to you Sasha. Did you know that? I had the divorce papers for Yoko signed. I wanted you, but you left. I tried to convince you for those fourteen months that I was really willing to start over or pick up where we left off, but I guess it wasn't enough."

I looked into his eyes, "Paul told me about your plans."

"You knew?" He asked, astonished, "You left me when you knew my plans for us."

I sighed loudly, "I honestly wished I hadn't. George made a point that every time you and I were together, you hurt me, and I believed him. He was right. You had hurt me every time we tried again. I'm tired, John. I just want to finally be with you."

John crawled into bed with me and held me in his arms, "I'm not scared of Yoko anymore. Just a few more months of this, I promise. At the end of March, we're going to stay at this house I bought on the north shore of Long Island, and there I'll tell her that I want a divorce. She has to understand that I'm following my heart and doing what my heart wants."

"John," I said into his chest, "I've never stopped loving you, you know?"

"I know, mama," he said quietly, "You know the same is true for me."

 **March 20, 1980**

For the last few months, John and I have been seeing each other often just like before the New Year. Julian had gone back to England shortly after the mess that had happened, but he was bringing Dhani with him next month for my birthday. Today was the dreaded day that John was leaving for Cold Spring Harbor with Yoko and Sean. He would be there for three weeks, but he promised that he would be telling Yoko that he wanted a divorce. I believed that he could stand up to her now. I've been helping him get back to the old John, and I have to admit that I missed him so much.

We were lying in bed with the sun shining through the slight cracks in the curtains casting slivers of sunshine onto the white, fluffy duvet. Our bare bodies were tangled up together after a long night of love-making. John's fingers were intertwining through my hair. My hand was resting on his chest, moving up and down with each of his breaths and felling the lub dub of his heart below.

"I love you, mama," John murmured, his lips brushing against my forehead.

I leaned up to connect my lips with his, "I love you too, my teddy boy. I don't want you to go."

"It's only three weeks. After that, we'll be able to be with each other nearly all the time," he explained, "You're bringing Julian and Dhani to Cold Spring Harbor, aren't you?"

"Yep," I said, "At the end of these dreaded three weeks, I'll join you. I can't wait."

"Me either," he said, "I can't wait you to see the house and the water it overlooks. It reminds me of an English cottage. That's why I bought it."

I thought for a moment, "Do you ever want to go back to England? Visit everyone? I'm sure Mimi would love the visit."

"I want to go all the time," he confessed, "I miss it. I didn't think I would, but I do. We'll go when we're married. 1981 seems like a good year to go."


	84. Chapter 84: Woman

**Something**

 **Chapter 84: Woman  
**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **April 12, 1980**

"Do you think Yoko's still there?" Julian asked me from the passenger side.

His voice was quiet, as to not wake little four year old Dhani in the backseat. I was so happy to have my son with me.

I looked over at Julian, "Let's hope not," I smirked.

He let out a quiet laugh, "I talked to dad a week ago, and he said that you would love the house. He also said that he's taken up sailing and has been taking lessons. Can you picture it? Dad, a sailor?"

"Your grandfather was a sailor, you know?" I told him.

He looked at me, "Did you ever meet him?"

"Yes, and so did you," I told him, remembering the time that John's dad had shown up at NEMS offices, and John had showed up to my house unannounced to ask me if I would go with him.

"I did?" Julian asked.

There was a second time that I met John's dad. It was at Kenwood in '67 and Julian was only three years old at the time, "I remember it so clearly. I was cooking dinner and waiting for your dad to come home from the studio. We were having pasta that night. I had already given you your food so John could put you to bed when he got home. So, you were eating at the table, and I was finishing up the meal when someone knocked on the door that was in the kitchen. I thought it was odd because usually only people we really knew came to that door instead of the main one. It was Alf, your grandfather, and I let him in. He had come to see John, but was pleased to meet you as well," I laughed, remembering the next part of the story, "Anyway he was talking to me and made a comment about me being beautiful. He told me that he had just bought a house in Brighton, and that I would look gorgeous on the beach there. He was trying to steal me from your father," I laughed, "He even tried to kiss me, but luckily John came home just in time."

"MY GRANDFATHER HIT ON YOU?!" Julian said in disbelief.

I was still laughing about the memory, "Yes, he told me some garbage about how he could treat me better than John could. Oh my goodness."

Julian scoffed, "That's disgusting. Why weren't him and dad close anyway?"

"You need to talk to your father about that. That's not my story to tell." I told him.

The car was silent for a few moments until Julian spoke again, "Did you know my grandmother?"

I thought of Julia. I actually hadn't thought about her a while, "Yes, I did. She was beautiful, and she loved me. She used to tell me that I was all John ever needed. She used to tell John to never let me go. She gave him her ring shortly before she died and told him to give it to me. He has yet to give it to me though and that was twenty two years ago."

"He'll come around," Julian said, "He loves you a lot. And he...oh God," he groaned.

We had pulled into the driveway of an English cottage-like house. Julian was groaning at the fact that Yoko was standing beside John in the driveway holding Sean in her arms. I didn't care if Yoko was still here because I knew she was leaving soon. I was more occupied with the house. It sat on the water. The dark blue lake stretching for miles with mountains caressing it on either side. The grass was almost as green as in England and Scotland. I immediately knew why John had bought this house. I got out of the car after asking Julian to grab Dhani from the backseat.

I walked over to John. His hair was a bit longer and pulled back into a low bun. His beard had grown out and fluffed around his face. I knew that Yoko was the cause of his appearance.

"Hi, John," I greeted him. I thought I saw Yoko roll her eyes out of the corner of mine.

He surprised me by bringing me into a tight hug, "I'm glad you made it okay. The drive wasn't too bad, was it?"

"No, it was just an hour from the city," I told him as we pulled away.

Then, John really surprised me. He leaned down and kissed me right in front of Yoko, "I missed you," he whispered.

"Well, I'll just be on my way," Yoko said harshly, interrupting mine and John's reunion.

Yoko started to walk away, but John stopped her, "Leave Sean here. He'll have a great time with Dhani and Julian."

She scoffed at him, "I'm not leaving him here with her."

I was taken aback and angered. It almost sounded like Yoko was calling me a bad mother.

"Don't be mean, Yoko," John said, "Leave him here with me."

She reluctantly passed the sleeping four year old to John's arms. I watched as she stepped closer to John and placed her hand on the back of his neck. She brought his head closer to hers and kissed him. She made sure to make the kiss deeper and longer than mine had been with him. I rolled my eyes.

John pulled away awkwardly, "Bye now, Yoko. Call me if you need anything."

"Bye," she said angrily.

"Come on," John whispered as Yoko began to walk away.

I followed him in the house. He lied Sean down on the couch and turned back to me. He placed his hands on my upper arms to pull me closer.

"Help me get rid of the taste of her," His lips touched mine, along with his beard.

I pulled away, "What's all this?" I motioned to his new facial hair.

"You don't like it?" He smirked.

"It has Yoko written all over it. Besides, if I wanted hair in my mouth, I'd just go make out with the sofa."

John laughed then pecked my lips once more, "I'll shave tonight. I love you."

"Love you too," I smiled, "So, did you tell her?"

"I did," John said, "It was a nightmare. She made an ultimatum for me."

I was scared of the answer, but I asked, "What?"

John smirked, "I've been writing songs since I've been here, and I think I'm going to start work on an album."

I brought him into a hug, "That's great, John. You know you're meant to be making music."

"Yeah, well Yoko said the only way she'd comply with the divorce was if I let her work with me on the album."

I frowned, "Your first album in five years, and it's gonna be with Yoko."

He kissed me, "As long as I get to be with you in the end, it will be worth it. Come here, I want to sing you something I've been working on."

John led me out to the back porch. The view was even more gorgeous out here. It was a warm, sunny day with a slight spring breeze. John picked up his guitar and sat in front of me. It made me so happy to see him with a guitar in his lap again.

 _Woman I can hardly express,_  
 _My mixed emotion at my thoughtlessness,_  
 _After all I'm forever in your debt,_  
 _And woman I will try express,_  
 _My inner feelings and thankfullness,_  
 _For showing me the meaning of succsess,_  
 _oooh well, well,_  
 _oooh well, well,_

 _Woman I know you understand_  
 _The little child inside the man,_  
 _Please remember my life is in your hands,_  
 _And woman hold me close to your heart,_  
 _However, distant don't keep us apart,_  
 _After all it is written in the stars,_  
 _oooh well, well,_  
 _oooh well, well,_

 _Woman please let me explain,_  
 _I never meant to cause you sorrow or pain,_  
 _So let me tell you again and again and again,_  
 _I love you (yeah, yeah) now and forever,_  
 _I love you (yeah, yeah) now and forever,_  
 _I love you (yeah, yeah) now and forever,_  
 _I love you (yeah, yeah)..._

I smiled at him with tears in my eyes, and in this moment I knew that nothing could stand in our way of finally ending up together.


	85. Chapter 85: Only You

**Something**

 **Chapter 85: Only You  
**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **April 12, 1980**

"Did you like it?" John asked me after setting his guitar down beside his chair.

I sniffled away a couple of tears, "It was really great, John. It could be one of my favorites. It describes how I feel about you as well. We've just been through so much together that it's hard to put our relationship into words."

John brought his hand up to my face to wipe away one the escaped tears, "Don't cry, love. Everything we'll work out in the end. We'll get to be together. It has to work, after all these years."

I looked away from him, ashamed that I was crying. I looked out at the lake that was shining behind the house. John really knew how to pick a place to vacation to. It was so quiet and serene here. I heard the sound of the wind rustling the trees, and that's about the only sound that was present. A place like this also makes you think. The quiet allows your mind and thoughts to get louder and overcome you.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" John said from beside me.

I smiled out at the lake, "It's great, John. It really does remind me of Scotland."

John didn't say a word. He stood from his chair and grabbed my hand for me to come with him. We walked down to the edge where the grass met the water. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I snuggled into him.

"It's crazy how things change so quickly," he thought aloud.

I looked up at him. I wondered what particular changes he was talking about, but I had one question that had been bugging me since I got here. "I know that you said that Yoko made a ultimatum with you about the divorce, but how did she take the news."

John sighed, "She was upset of course, but I explained to her that I was taking her advice and listening to what my heart wanted. I told her everything about our relationship and that I wanted to end up with you like I believe I am supposed to."

"And she didn't try and threaten you about taking Sean away," I asked.

John looked down at me, "No, I made sure that she wouldn't bring Sean into it."

"Good," I let out a sigh of relief, "I couldn't stand it if I was part of the reason you wouldn't get to see your son."

"Oh, Sasha," John brought me into a hug, "I already told you that I would give up everything to be with you. I do love you, you know."

I hugged him tighter to show him that I loved him too.

That night after I had fixed dinner, we played a card game with the kids. When they were tucked into their beds and snoring, John and I stayed up for a little while to drink some wine and cuddle on the couch. Now, I was sitting on the edge of the bathtub in the master bathroom watching John shave off his beard in front of me.

He looked into the mirror at me behind him, "Are you glad this thing's gonna be gone?"

"Yes," I laughed, "It just doesn't suit my teddy boy."

John shaved the last bit of the facial off and dried his face. I stood to meet him as he turned around.

I placed my hands on his cleanly shaven face, "Now, I can kiss you like I want to."

I brought him into a kiss. His hands grabbed my waist as my arms wrapped around his neck. Our kiss deepened as his tongue entered through my slightly parted lips. After a few moments of heavy kissing, John pulled away.

"I missed you," he breathed, "Let's move this to the bedroom."

He grabbed my hand and I followed him into the bedroom. We both took our time undressing and climbing into bed completely bare. John wrapped his arms around me as the blankets surrounded us. I faced him, tracing my fingers on his chest.

"Do you know what I haven't said in a long time?" John whispered.

I smirked, "What's that?"

"Forever and Always," he blurted out, "I meant it every time I said it."

Our old saying for each other slipped out of his mouth once again in a long time. I had missed the way he would say it to me. I smiled and pecked him lightly on the lips.

John smirked, "Do you remember the first time I said it in conversation?"

I closed my eyes and began reliving that forgotten memory.

 _It was late 1958. The flat that John and Stu shared was cold from the crappy heating system and the frigid outside temperatures. I was naked and lying on my stomach on John's mattress in the living room with just the sheets wrapped around me enough to cover my bum. John was sitting above me, naked in a chair, painting a project for art school. It was one of those days where Stu was away at classes, and John had stayed behind to catch up on the projects that he had failed to do the weekend before. Also, he took frequent breaks, so we could make love to each other over and over again._

 _He turned back to me, "I need to take a break. I'm hungry."_

 _I rose from the mattress, wrapped the sheets around my bare body. I stood behind John, kissing the top of his fluffy bed hair, "I'll fix you something. Don't move a muscle."_

 _I went over to the kitchen area and fixed us a sandwich to share and a couple glasses of cheap wine that John had bought with what little gig money he earned. I brought the sandwich over to the mattress, where John was now sitting and waiting patiently. I sat down next to him. He grabbed some of the sheets to pull around himself as well._

 _After the sandwich was devoured and the wine gone, he lied down with me, tangled in the sheets. He kissed me. Our kisses in those days didn't take long to become heated encounters. Soon, John was on top of me, making sweet love to me for the third or fourth time today. I ran my hands up and down his back as he thrust into me and kissed my neck. Later, after we had called out each others names in ecstasy, we lied there, bodies intertwining with each other and staring into each other's eyes._

 _"Sasha," John said quietly, stroking my hair, "Promise me that this will be our life together. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and someday as I lay dying, I want you to be next to me. We'll be together forever and always."_

I opened my eyes as John finished reciting the words from my memory. I kissed him softly.

He moved to get on top of me, "Do you still promise me, Sasha? After all these years, will you promise to be with me until my life ends. I want you there next to me when I move on from this life years from now."

"I promise, John," I whispered, "I love you more than you know."

"Forever and always," John kissed me softly before beginning to make love to me.


	86. Chapter 86: This Love

**Something**

 **Chapter 86: This Love**

 **Sasha's POV**

 **April 13, 1980**

I lied in bed next to John, smiling to myself about our little reunion last night. I pulled the covers up to my chin to shield my bare body further from the cold morning. I looked over at him next to me. The blankets were resting just under his belly bottom covering his bare bottom half. His long hair was splayed out on the white pillow underneath him, and his eyes were closed ever so peacefully. He snored quietly as his chest rose up and down. I loved him. I loved him more than anything in the entire world. It was hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that I had known him for almost twenty three years. I thought back, and I know people say you're not supposed to regret anything, but I have a lot of regrets. John consumes all of those. There's no doubt in my mind that we were meant to be, but something would always get in the way when we would be so close to finally making. I just hope that this time it goes smoothly, and by this time next year, I'll finally be Mrs. Lennon, waking up just like this every morning for the rest of my life.

I smiled at the thought. I looked over to the sun peering through the slit in the curtains. I heard the birds chirping outside in the springtime air. This really was where I belonged. Maybe, when John and I are married, we can move out here to Cold Spring Harbor permanently and only live in the city when we're doing work there.

Another thought crossed my mind, a number. _39_. _39\. 39._ Today is my birthday. I'm 39 years old. So close to 40, I didn't even realize that this much time has gone by. John would be 40 this year. I shook my head in disbelief and sat up in the bed. I couldn't believe how old I was now. I remember all the birthdays I celebrated with John by my side. _17, 18, 19,_ then skip ahead to _26, 27,_ skip ahead again to _34._ I sighed. I should've have stayed with John after the infamous 'Lost Weekend' as he later named it, instead of being an idiot and leaving the one real thing I ever knew. I could've been with him the last five years, maybe we would have a couple of little ones running around.

I rose from the bed, deciding to let John sleep in a bit longer, and put on a loose tank top and some shorts that were short enough to show part of my bum. I walked quietly out of the room and down the stairs to find Julian trying to teach a card game to Sean and Dhani. I smiled as I watched them from afar. I loved seeing the three of them together. _This is what it will be like all the time_ , I smiled to myself.

Julian looked up and saw me standing there, "Morning, Sasha. These four-year-olds are really having trouble with the concept of 'Go Fish.'"

I laughed, "You look like you're having fun though. How long have you been up?"

"Just an hour or so," Julian replied, "The boys woke me up. I figured I'd let you and dad sleep in."

"Thanks, but I'm sure you boys are hungry," I smiled.

"Just a bit," Julian said, standing from the couch, "Come boys, it's time for breakfast!"

The three boys followed me into the kitchen. Sean and Dhani took their seats at the table. I went to the fridge to look for something to fix the kids. I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I turned to find Julian standing there, almost nervously, "Yes Julian? Do you have a request for breakfast?"

"No, um, I," he stuttered, then suddenly hugged me, "I just wanted to tell you 'Happy Birthday.'"

I laughed, "Oh thanks Julian."

He pulled away from the hug and smiled.

Dhani chimed in, "Happy Birthday mummy!"

I went over to the table and hugged him and kissed his forehead, "Thank you baby."

"Happy Birthday Sasha," Sean said quietly from beside Dhani.

I smiled. Sean was still warming up to me being around some of the time. I moved to him and hugged him and kissed him on the forehead, "Thank you Sean."

I smiled at the three boys sitting at the table, "Well, Julian used to have a favorite breakfast back in England when he was a small as you two, Dhani also likes it, and I know that Sean will like it."

"Is eggs and soldiers, Sasha?" Julian asked me, smiling, "I haven't had that in ages."

"It certainly is," I said, "Eggs and soldiers coming right up!"

"What's eggs and soldiers?" Sean asked me in a small voice.

I smiled, "It's a British breakfast, and I'm sure your daddy used to eat when he was younger. It's a boiled egg, and you dip pieces of toast in it. You'll love it!"

I turned and began preparing breakfast for the kids. I had never heard of eggs and soldiers until one morning back in the sixties, Julian was staying with me and John for the first time since we had got back together. I panicked when he asked me to fix him eggs and soldiers, so I frantically called Maureen, and she walked me step-by-step over the phone on how to make it. It was quite simple actually.

I was dropping the toast in the toaster when I felt arms snake around my waist. His hot breath was caressing my neck, and then his warm lips were kissing from my neck to my shoulder.

"Good Morning," he slurred in between kisses, "Happy Birthday, mama."

I smiled and placed my hands on his, which were resting my on stomach, "Thanks John. Do you want breakfast? I'm making eggs and soldiers for the kids."

"I haven't had that since I was a little lad," John said, kissing my neck again, "I love you."

"I love you too," I replied. I brought one of his hands up to my mouth and kissed it.

John spun me around to face him, "Where did you get these little shorts?" He played with the waistband of them.

I smirked at him, "I got them before I came out here. I thought you'd like them."

He kissed me, "I love 'em," he kissed me again, running his hands up and down my back and waist.

I looked over his shoulder as he held me close and kissed my neck. Julian was gawking at us. I pulled away quickly.

"Mama," John said, "Why so jumpy?"

I returned to watching the toaster patiently, "I'll tell you later."

John shrugged and walked to table to sit down. I looked over there to see him laughing with Julian, Dhani, and Sean. The morning sun was reflecting off of the lake in the background, making it sparkle. I could get use to this.

* * *

Breakfast was big hit with the kids, and John had made us sandwiches for lunch that were also pretty good. Now, we were sitting out by the lake at a table in the grass. Julian was sitting next me, drinking his tea. The smell of burgers slowly cooking on the grill made my mouth water. John was laughing, wrestling, and playing in the grass with Sean and Dhani a little ways away from the table.

"I think this is exactly how want to spend every birthday from now on," I told Julian, "Your dad saved up all of his money in Hamburg to take me to Paris for my 19th birthday, exactly twenty years ago. I can't believe it's been that long ago. I used to tell him that there was no way he could ever top that birthday, but I think this one does."

Julian grinned at me, squinting from the setting sun, "Dad really loves you, you know. I just hope he's smart and gets Yoko away soon."

"He will, Julian. For some reason I feel comfortable about the situation. I feel like John really is serious about us this time. The words he's spoken to me, sang to me...I just know it will work this time. I have to just get used to the fact that Yoko will be in John's life. They do have a son together."

"I wish she didn't have to be. I'll be glad to see her go," Julian said. I gave him a look for being rude. He continued, "I know it's mean to say, but she's been nothing but awful to me since 1968, and she's made dad be awful to me as well. It may be selfish, but I like him a lot better when he's with you. A few years ago, when we were in L.A., that's the closest I had ever felt to him. You make him that way, Sasha. You bring out the best in him."

I smiled. Julian and John had had some difficulty in their relationship in the past. Even in the past couple of years, there's been some clashes, but hopefully now, John will treat both of his sons equally. From the looks of it, he also looked like he was bonding quite well with his future step-son.

"I just love him so much," I said, "After all these years, it has to finally work."

John walked past the table, "Come on! The food's gonna burn!"

Julian and I rose from the table and walked after the two running little boys, who were following John as close as they could.

We all sat around at the table on the patio eating our meal. John was sat so close to me that I couldn't hardly move my arm to eat. He kept smiling at me and acting goofy in front of the little ones. I loved him so much.

After dinner, John called us into the living room since it was now dark outside.

"Alright, Sasha, sit on the couch with the boys," John instructed before leaving the room.

I sat down next to Julian. Dhani climbed into my lap, and then followed Sean. They both had a leg that they were resting on.

John came back in the room holding a picture frame, it was turned toward his chest, so I couldn't see the picture. What was he up to?

"It is your birthday, and well, I had to get you a gift," he smiled, "Sasha, I do love you so much, and I can't wait for the day when this is finally our life together."

I smiled at him, "If you make me cry, Lennon, I'll smack you right across the face."

"I'll get ready for the hit, then." He smirked at me, "Anyway, we've been on holiday to a lot of places. You took me to New York for the first time, and Nashville to meet your mother. The sea and Paris when we were in Germany. When went to Tobago with Maureen and Ringo in '66. We went to Greece with whole gang, and though, I don't like to remember the disaster of a trip, we did have half of a good time in India," he laughed, "And I suppose L.A. a few years ago counts as I holiday as well."

I laughed back at him. I wasn't sure if I thought the India comment was funny or not, but it was so long ago that it didn't matter anymore.

"So, I figured we could make another memory on holiday, and well, I've got this problem you see. This picture frame has one more spot in it that needs filled. It's kind of our pre-marriage holidays, because when we're married, I'll be taking you away a lot."

I smiled at him. I couldn't wait for that.

"So, without further ado, here's the pictures from our previous trips. I put this together for you," he said, smiling.

John handed me the picture frame. I smiled at it. I turned it over to reveal several pictures, and just John had said, a blank spot in the bottom right hand corner. The pictures were in order of when they were taken. It started with a picture that my aunt had snapped of us on top of the Empire State Building back when we were only eighteen. From the same trip, a picture of me, John, and my mother in front of the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville when we took him to see the Grand Ole Opry show. Next was the picture I snapped of us sitting on a bench on the Champs Elysee in Paris on my nineteenth birthday. The next picture brought tears to my eyes. It was me, John, Astrid, and Stuart smiling on the beach in Germany for Stu's twentieth birthday weekend. The next picture was Ringo, Maureen, me, and John standing on the beach in Tobago in 1966. Next, was me and John standing at the end of a boat, the Greek islands in the background. The last picture before the blank space was me and John smiling in India before everything went wrong. I wished so badly that that trip had ended differently.

I looked up at John, a few tears escaped from my eyes, "John, I, I don't know what to say. I didn't know you had all of these photos."

John smiled at me, "I would never ever get rid of any pictures of us together. And don't cry yet, I haven't even told you your gift."

"Well, what is it?"

"We need one more picture for that particular frame, so I'm taking you to Bermuda in June. You said you've always wanted to see the pink sand. We'll go alone for a few weeks, then Julian is bringing Dhani and Sean for the last couple of weeks," John explained.

"John," I lifted Dhani and Sean off of my lap and jumped into John's arms, "Thank you so much."

"I love you," he said into my ear.

"I love you too, " I whispered, "John, this has been the best birthday. I can't wait to spend many more with you."

He kissed me, and wiped away some of my tears, "Okay, you're cake was delivered a few hours ago, so let's finally go eat it."

John lit some candles on the cake and the four of them sang 'Happy Birthday' to me. We sat and laughed and ate cake for a long time. John was sitting close to me, and we were acting silly and feeding each other cake and kissing.

If this day had been any indication of my future, I couldn't wait.


	87. Chapter 87: Now and Then

**Something**

 **Chapter 87: Now and Then**

 **June 14, 1980  
**

 **Sasha's POV**

I watched the waves crash onto the rocks that separated our little private beach from the vast Atlantic ocean. We had been in Bermuda for nearly two weeks now. John and I had been alone until Julian, Dhani, and Sean joined us yesterday. The alone time was much needed due to the few weeks we spent apart in between our little getaway in Cold Spring Harbor and coming here. Yoko had demanded that John limit his trips across New York City to come and see me since we would be "spending so much time on vacation with each other." She disgusted me. I couldn't help it. I knew she was John's wife, for now, but I just couldn't stand her. She's never treated me nicely. I guess that makes since considering that she was trying to lure John away from me since day one. Now it was my turn, however. John and I deserved to finally be together after everything that's happened and kept us apart. These last couple weeks here in paradise just reestablished that we, after all these years, never skip a beat when we get back together. The last two weeks have been filled with talks of our future, lying in bed looking at the ocean, and making love, over and over again.

A breeze blew off the ocean and made me pull my light cardigan around my pajamas tighter. A steaming coffee cup was sat down in front of me. I looked up at John. His shoulder length hair was pulled back in a low bun. He had his sunglasses on and was dressed in swimming trunks and tank top. His skin was tanned from all of the time we had spent in the sun. He sat down next to me.

"Good Morning," he said, lighting one of his beloved French cigarettes.

"Ugh, Johnny, you know I can't stand the smell of those. After all these years, you'd think I'd be used to it," I stated, waving my hand around to clear some of the smoke from his first puff, "Besides, I thought you were quitting."

"I am, mama, I promise," John said, taking another drag, "but that's a gradual process. My goal is to be done with them in five weeks when we go back to New York. I can't just quit cold turkey. I tried that with heroin. It wasn't fun."

I rolled my eyes and decided to change the subject, "Were the kids up yet?"

"Nope," John looked out at the water, "Julian and Dhani are probably jet lagged from England."

"Yeah," I took a sip of my coffee, "Mmm, you fixed it just the way I like it."

John smirked, "Moan again. That was sexy."

I smacked his arm playfully, "John!"

He laughed a loud, bellowing laugh. I loved him so much.

"You finally get to show me your sailing skills today," I told him.

"Finally. I've only been working on them since I first went to Cold Spring Harbor."

John had taken up sailing as a hobby a few months ago, and today, he had arranged for the five of us to go out onto the ocean. I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. He kept me close by holding my cheek in his hand and bringing his lips to mine. I never wanted this vacation to end.

* * *

"Daddy! Come sit with us at the front of the boat!" Sean yelled back to John, who was at the wheel.

There were two crew members on board just in case, but John was doing quite a good job at sailing us out on the ocean. The waters were clear and calm and the sun was beaming down from high in the sky. I was sitting at the front of the boat with the kids. I was showing them how the fish would swim along with the front of the boat. We even saw a couple dolphins, which I was excited about.

The boat slowed down, and I noticed that John passed the wheel off to another crew member. He walked down the boat to us and sat next to Julian across from me.

"That was quite smooth Captain Lennon," I joked with him.

John smiled at me, "That's what you said to me last night, too."

I notice Julian turn a bright side of red whilst John smirked about his comment.

"Not appropriate," I smirked at him.

John moved to sit with me. I stood up and let him take my seat. I sat down on his lap and looked out at the water.

He kissed my cheek, then whispered in my ear, "I never want this to end, mama."

"Me neither," I said, kissing him on the lips.

Our kiss deepened, and for a moment it felt like it was just me and John alone in the middle of the vast ocean. I couldn't wait to be his wife and have this be my life everyday.

The rest of the day was incredible. John sailed the boat some more, and even got me behind the wheel. He held on tight to the back of me as he told me which way to turn the wheel. I watched as he played with the kids. We anchored the boat a little ways away from the shore and took turns jumping into the cool ocean. Dhani and Sean floated next to us in their life jackets. Julian and John took turns jumping off the boat in various ways. I was shocked and impressed when John did a front flip right off the side of the boat. He swam around me, grabbing at my waist and kissing me.

As the sun began to set, John let the two crew members steer us home while he sat cuddled with me. We kissed and watched the sunset as we made our way back to the shore.

 **July 20, 1980**

John and I had put all of the kids to bed a few minutes earlier. We were sitting outside at the table watching the waves crash and recede. A bottle of wine was being shared between the two of us. Tonight was our last night in Bermuda. I was afraid of what was to come in New York. I knew John still needed to file the divorce papers for Yoko, but I wasn't sure that I was ready for the mess that will probably ensue after he does. I also knew that John wanted to start working on his new album, which unfortunately was going to be with Yoko. John had written a lot of songs in Bermuda, and luckily, I know they're about me.

"Mama?" John asked from beside me.

"Yes, John," I looked at him.

He put out the cigarette he had been working on, he gotten down to only smoking a couple at night, "Do you remember back in the sixties on tour, and you would trim all of our hair if it would get too long?"

I thought back to those Beatlemania days of endless touring and being in and out of hotel rooms. I had been the Beatles personal hairdresser. Sometimes, their moptop hairstyles would get so long, I would have to give them a trim so they could see.

"Yeah, I do," I smiled, "Why do you ask?"

John looked at me, "Could you maybe give me a trim now? I'm tired of this long hair. I want to go back to New York as a new man, your man."

I smiled and stood from the table, "Come inside then."

John followed me inside. I moved a chair out from the kitchen table to sit in the middle of the room. I grabbed a pair of scissors out of one of the drawers. He sat down in the chair as I moved behind him with the scissors.

"You just want a trim?" I asked.

He looked back at me and smirked, "Yeah, I want it a lot shorter. In fact, why don't you just get it back to the way it used to be."

"What way it used to be?" I asked, confused.

John looked ahead again, "Give me a Beatle haircut."

I couldn't help it, I laughed out loud, "Are you serious?"

"Yes!" John insisted, "Go ahead!"

I brought my scissors up to his hair and began to cut away. His brownish locks falling to the ground. A few minutes later, I was finished.

I smiled at the back of his head, "I gave you what you had around '67. I thought you looked sexy that way."

John walked to the living room and looked in the mirror hanging on the wall, "It's brilliant, Sasha. Thank you. Now I look as young as you."

"I don't look young," I protested, hating that everyday I got closer and closer to 40.

John brought me close to him, "You look as young and beautiful as the day you came back from Nashville in '66. Not a day over 25."

I scoffed. John smirked and kissed my lips softly. I wrapped my arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. Suddenly, John scooped me up bridal style and started to carry me to our bedroom.

I laughed, "John! Put me down! What are you doing?"

He kissed me, "Beatle John's going to have his way with you."

I laughed loudly as he kicked the bedroom door closed behind us.


	88. Chapter 88: Whatever Happened to

**Something**

 **Chapter 88: Whatever Happened to...  
**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **August 8, 1980**

I lied in my bed staring at the ceiling. I couldn't move. I had been like this for nearly a week now. My beautiful trip to Bermuda with John had ended nearly three weeks ago. One week after another passed with no signs of John. No calls, no visits, nothing. After everything we had shared, he just simply disappeared from me for the last three weeks. I wanted to be mad at him, but I knew that that wouldn't make a bit of difference in the situation.

The phone rang, and I picked it up quickly, "Hello?"

"Sasha," his voice finally said my name for the first time in three weeks.

"John," I said back, "Where have you been?"

"Listen Sasha," he said, "I don't have long to talk. I want to see you. Do you know where the Hit Factory recording studio is?"

"Yes," I said, confused.

He spoke quietly, "Okay, be here around 6:30. Bye. I love you."

Before I could say anything, the line went dead. Sometimes John acted so odd, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was because of Yoko. So, I got ready to go meet John. On my way, I stopped into a diner quickly got some food for me and John to share in case he was hungry.

When I arrived at the studio, the receptionist told me to wait in the lobby so she could tell John that I was here.

After a few minutes of waiting, he walked through the doors and brought me into a hug.

"Follow me," he said.

I followed him up some stairs to what looked like some kind of conference room. He closed the door and locked it behind us. I watched as he plopped down into a chair. I stood there and studied him. His hair was still short like I had cut it in Bermuda. He had sunglasses on, but he took them off and ran his hand through his hair.

"Are you going to sit or just stare at me?" He asked.

I sat down in front of him, "Why are we in here?"

"You're a little early, mama. Yoko's still here."

We sat in an awkward silence for a few moments. Something was different about John.

I cleared my throat, "I stopped and got us some food. I didn't know if you would be hungry."

"Sure," John said, looking at me intently.

I started unpacking the cheeseburgers and fries. I began to eat mine, and John just stared at his.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"I just haven't had a cheeseburger in ages," he said, "It's not part of my diet."

I chuckled, "Since when are you on a diet?"

He looked at me seriously, "I have been for five years. Yoko's keeping me healthy."

That was it. I couldn't stand it any longer. I couldn't stand this awkward conversation.

"Do you always do exactly what she tells you?" I snapped, "I bet it's been ages since you thought for yourself too!"

He looked at me in shock after my outburst, "Fine, I'll eat the burger."

"Ugh! It's not about the damn burger, John."

"Then, what's wrong with you?" He asked back.

I sighed, "Really? You're asking what's wrong? John, what happened to you? What happened to Bermuda and everything we did there together? We got back nearly three weeks ago, and I haven't heard from you. Now, you invite me here and act like nothing has happened. I didn't even know you were getting back in the studio, John. Where have you been?"

John rubbed his forehead with his hand, "I'm sorry, Sasha. I love you so much. You know that, but I have a family that I have to take care of. Sean got sick when we came back, and Yoko was complaining that I don't do anything around the house anymore, and she told me to make the most of the time we have left together."

I stared at him in shock. Was he serious? "John, can I ask you something?"

"What?"

I sighed, "Have you filed the divorce papers like you said you were going to do when we got back form Bermuda?"

He looked me straight in the eyes, "No, I haven't."

I couldn't help but to feel used and betrayed. I felt tears sting my eyes. It was a constant guessing game with John, and I'm not sure I could do it much longer.

I slammed my hand down on the table causing him to jump slightly, "You promised me!"

"Sasha, I'm a little busy now."

I stood up from my seat, "Just tell me the truth, John. I can't waste my time and love on you anymore. Do you love Yoko?"

"Of course I love her, Sasha. She's the mother of my son. We've been married for eleven years."

I couldn't believe him, "What changed? Three weeks ago you were making me believe that you still loved me the most. You were filling my head with lies about us being together finally. You are such a dick, John. I can't keep playing games with you."

I started to walk toward the door, but John caught me by the wrist, "Sasha, I do love you more. I love Yoko because she's the mother of my son, but you are the love of my life. I want to be with you."

"Then grow some balls and prove it to me, John!" I yelled, "I'm tired of all your lies!"

I stormed down the stairs and out of the studio despite John yelling from behind me. I jumped in my waiting car and told the driver to rush back to my apartment and far away from John.

 **August 21, 1980**

Another nearly three weeks had passed, but I was the one keeping my distance this time. John had called several times, but I refused to answer. He had even showed up a couple of times, but there was no way that I was going to let him in.

My doorbell rang. I walked over to the door, and looked in the peephole to make sure that it wasn't John.

I opened the door to reveal a man that looked like a doorman or butler of some sort.

"Letter for you Ms. McCartney," he handed me an envelope before walking away.

I closed the front door and opened the letter.

 _Sasha,_

 _I can't prove anything to you if you won't speak to me. Come to the Dakota at eight. Wear something nice._

 _John._

I read over and over the short letter. I couldn't believe I was going to give in, but as soon as John starts feeding me a bunch of lines, I'm out of there. I reluctantly went to my room to find something the wear. I settled on a tight black dress and high heels. I had my driver take me to the Dakota. When I arrived, a doorman opened my car door for me.

"Good evening, Ms. McCartney. Mr. Lennon's waiting for you."

I smiled at him and made my way to the short flight of stairs that lead to the elevators. In the elevator on the way to the top floor, my palms became sweaty. It was absurd that I was nervous about being with John, but I had no idea what in store for me as the elevator doors opened.

 **Author's Note: What do you think John has in store for Sasha?**


	89. Chapter 89: Grow Old With Me

**Something**

 **Chapter 89: Grow Old With Me  
**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **August 21, 1980**

I walked up to the first door after getting off of the elevator and slowly brought my hand up to knock. I listened as I heard footsteps over the Elvis music that was playing in the distance. When John opened the door, the Elvis music got louder.

"Sasha, I'm glad you came," he said, smiling at me, "You look stunning, mama."

John leaned in, grabbing my waist. He kissed my cheek softly, then pulled away. I had to admit that I was a little disappointed that he didn't give me a proper kiss. It had been a month since he's kissed me. It was when he told me goodbye at the airport after our trip to Bermuda.

I smiled back at him, "You don't look bad yourself. I wasn't expecting you to keep your hair short."

"I want it this way. I don't care what anyone else says about it," he smirked.

I had a feeling he meant Yoko by that statement. I looked him over. I wondered what he was playing at by dressing the way he was. He had on some drainpipe jeans that were cuffed at the bottom. His feet were bare. He was wearing a black leather jacket with a black sweater underneath. Elvis was playing in the background. I noticed it was probably that album of his love songs that I bought for John back in LA. An album that we had made love to many times.

"Well, would you like to come in?" John asked.

I followed him in as he shut the door behind me. It was then that I realized the smell of dinner. It smelled absolutely delicious. I also noticed that the apartment had been cleaned, and some of the clutter that was here the last time I came was gone.

I followed John into the kitchen, and he pulled a chair out for me at the table. He handed me a glass of wine, then knelled in front of me.

"You should make yourself more comfortable," he said in a low voice.

I shivered as his hand touched my leg and trailed down to my foot. He took one of my high heels off, then the other one, and tossed them across the room. I shook my head in disbelief that a simple touch from John could still turn me on as much as it did.

I watched as he stood back up and removed his leather jacket, setting it on the table. He pushed up the sleeves of his sweater and finished preparing the meal.

I stood from the table and walked to stand beside him at the counter. I took a sip of my wine and watched him slice some bread and place it in a bowl. I noticed his wedding band and fixated on it. I frowned.

"I hope you're hungry," he said, "I'm glad you came or all of this would've gone to waste."

"I am hungry," I said, "It looks delicious."

He looked at me, "Why don't you go through that door, and sit down at the dining room table?"

I nodded and walked into the dining room. I had never actually been in this room before. I sat down at the table, which was in front of a window. I looked out the window and saw Central Park and the city skyline behind it staring back at me. I was jealous of this view.

John walked into the room and sat the bread and two salads on the table. He sat down across from me. I watched as he started eating his salad.

"You know John, when I was little girl, my aunt lived two blocks behind this building. I would walk past it with my mom every day to go to the park. I always dreamed of living here in an apartment that overlooked the park and the city. My mom always told me that I would have to become very rich to live somewhere like this. She told me that wished she could buy us an apartment here. I promised her that when I became a famous musician, I would buy her one so she could sit and watch the people in the park all day as she grew old."

John was watching me intently. I could feel tears in my eyes at the thoughts of memories of my mother. My emotions had been high the past month. I wiped a tear that had escaped and looked down at my salad.

John grabbed my hand from across the table, "I think about Julia all the time as well. What she would be doing if she were still with us."

"Do you think our mothers have met, John?" I asked, looking up at him.

John sighed and removed his hand from mine, "I'd like to think so," he paused, a strange look on his face, "Do you believe in life after death, Sasha?"

"I do, John. Otherwise what's the point of this complicated life if it just ends darkness. Besides, I'm scared of the dark," I admitted.

John still looked at me with that strange, unrecognizable look on his face, "I can't waste the rest of my life away dreaming about you. You do know that I will always choose you, don't you?"

"John, I'd like to know for sure. I can't play these games with you anymore. I have so much anxiety when I'm with you. It's hard when you constantly don't know where your relationship is going from day to day. I just want to know for sure. I want you to be mine or nothing at all. And if you don't have intentions to be mine and only mine, then I'd like you to tell me. It would save me a lot of heartache and tears."

He finished chewing a bite of salad before speaking, "Starting soon, I will be only yours. I swear to you, but you have to work with me Sasha. This is a big step I'm taking. It's a big change. I love you. I do. I love you more than anything on this planet. I always have and I always will, but Yoko is all I've known for the past five years. Our relationship became the strongest that it's ever been."

I didn't say anything at first, but then I wondered where she was if their relationship was so strong, "Where is she?"

"Who? Yoko?" He asked. I nodded, and he spoke again, "She went to Japan for a week to visit her family. She took Sean with her. I couldn't go with her on account of the album...and...you."

I looked down at my half empty salad bowl. I knew that John actually care about me. I knew that he loved me.

He asked me if I was ready for the main course. He took the salads away and disappeared into the kitchen. He brought back the plates of food. It was chicken, a baked potato, and squash. It was delicious. We ate mostly in silence with the occasional short conversation. I asked him about the studio and he told me. I thought back to when there used to be a time when John and I never faltered in our conversations, but we were both so different now. In the last month, it seemed that we had become almost like strangers again. Dinner drug on, but at least our conversation picked up as John started spewing off memories from his teddy boy days.

I laughed as he finished a story about a drunken Casbah Club night, "And I kept having to pick you up off of the floor. I don't know why I took you back to Mimi's. It's a wonder she didn't wake up."

"Oh, I'm sure she was awake and laughing at the two us," he laughed, "I talked to her this morning. She said she misses you."

"I miss her too. We became quite close after that disaster of an initial visit. Even when you were back from Hamburg, she would come over and have tea with me to make sure that I was okay."

"Sasha," John said, "The first thing that I want to do when we're finally together is go back to England. I miss it. I miss Mimi. It would be nice to go to Liverpool again too."

"I would like that, John. We can go next year."

John smiled at me and stood from the table, "Come on. I want to go to the park, and then come back here for dessert."

I followed John back into the kitchen. He put his jacket on and some black boots. I put my shoes back on.

We walked across the street to Central Park. I always thought it was so beautiful and peaceful at night. I felt John grab my hand and intertwine his fingers with mine. It had been a long time since he had held my hand.

I tried to pull away, "John, someone will see or photograph us."

He kept a tight grip on my hand and stopped walking. He moved in front of me and grabbed my other hand, so now he was holding both of them, "I don't care. I want everyone to know that I love you. I want everyone to know that we're going to be together. We're going to still be bothering the public when we're eighty," he laughed.

"John, I..."

He cut me off with his lips. He arms wrapped around me, and mine wrapped around him. He kissed me with such passion and longing. I wasn't surprised when I felt my knees go weak and my heart flutter. It had been a month since I felt his lips on mine, his tongue in my mouth, and it was well worth the wait.

He pulled away and rested his forehead on mine, "I love you, mama."

"I love you too, my teddy boy."

John started moving. He started dancing with me in the middle of Central Park. It was almost like back in '59 when I brought him to New York for the first time. Then, just like that time, John started singing our song in my ear.

"Love me tender, love me true," he sang.

I closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder, just listening to him sing our song. I pretended that I was eighteen again with my whole crazy life ahead of me.

After walking around the park hand in hand, John led me back to his apartment. We sat on the white couch in the living room and he brought me a piece of cheesecake and another glass of wine from the kitchen.

He handed me an envelope, "For you."

"Another letter," I said, "You love writing me letters, don't you?"

"I am a writer, you know. I'm published," he laughed, "but I didn't write this one."

I looked at him with a confused look. I sat my plate and glass down on the coffee table. I opened the already opened envelope and pulled the letter out of it. I unfolded the piece of paper and read over it and over it in disbelief. I couldn't believe I was finally reading this. It was finally real.

"John, this is," I stuttered, "You actually did it. I didn't think you were going to."

"I want you to be my wife, Sasha. Not Yoko anymore. I filed the divorce before she went to Japan. Actually, that's why she went to Japan. She was quite upset, but I assured her that I'm following my heart and expressing myself, which is what she always wants from me."

I had tears rolling down my cheeks now. It was real. It was finally happening. I was finally going to get to be John. We were going to get married, probably have some babies, and grow old together just like we had always wanted.

John brought me into his arms, and I broke down, "Shh, don't cry, love," he rubbed my back.

I pulled away from him, "I'm sorry, John. It's just...I've been waiting for this moment for years. The moment where I finally know with all of my being that we're finally going to make it. We're going to be together."

"We are, Sasha. This is the only thing that I've ever wanted," he said. Now, his eyes were shining with tears.

I sniffled, "I shouldn't have left LA. I should've told George to get lost, and I should've come back to that house and stayed with you."

"But, Sasha, maybe it was best," a tear ran down his cheek, "It hurt like hell when I woke up the next morning, and you were gone, but I needed that. I deserved it after all the pain I had put you through. It taught me a lesson. I told myself that if I ever got the chance to love you again, that it would be done right and we would be together forever. And look what we got out of that time. We both got a son that we love so much."

I nodded, "John, I don't want to live in the past anymore. I want us to forget about everything that's happened and just start over. We have so much more life to live together."

"I love you," he whispered, tears still streaming down his cheeks.

I kissed him softly, but he brought me in again and made the kiss more heated and longing. Soon, he was picking me up and carrying me down the hall to rooms I hadn't seen before. He carried me into a bedroom and lied me down on the bed as he hovered over me, still kissing me. I felt his hands roaming all of over me as my hands did the same to him. He kissed my neck and stripped from his black sweater. I watched as he hastily helped me undo his belt and push his jeans and underwear down his legs. His arms wrapped underneath me, unzipped my dress, and pulled it off of me in one swift motion. I ran my hands over his shoulders as he kissed my neck again and unclasped my bra. He hooked his finger underneath the waistband of my panties and practically tore them off of me. I could tell by the slight roughness in his actions that he hadn't experienced intimacy in awhile, from anyone. He hovered over me, taking in the sight of me. I stared at him, locking eyes with him. We moved so that my head was on the pillow, and he was lying on top of me. He gave me little pecks on the lips before he chuckled a bit.

"What?" I asked him.

"I just can't believe it," he smiled, "We're here, together, doing this. The future is finally clear for the two of us."

I kissed him. He was wearing a thin necklace. The city lights from outside the window were reflecting light off the chain making it glisten. I played with his necklace.

"I love you, John," I whispered.

He kissed me and pushed into me, making me call out his name. Here we were, moaning and running our hands over each other. For the first time in my life, I was certain, as I lied underneath John, that this was my future. It was such a good feeling to finally know for sure that this is forever.


	90. Chapter 90: Borrowed Time

**Something**

 **Chapter 90: Borrowed Time  
**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **September 20, 1980**

I sliced vegetables for my very special dinner guests that would be arriving at any moment. I smiled to myself as I thought of one in particular. John. It had been a month since he filed for divorce from Yoko. I knew that divorces took awhile, but I couldn't wait for the day when he was finally free of her. John and I had seen each other nearly everyday for the past month. I always looked forward to the hours in the day that John would spend with me, sometimes he would even stay the night. I felt more in love with him than I have in a long time, and well, I knew that this was it for us. This feeling of certainty in our relationship is a feeling I had never had before.

I heard the front door creak open, but continued to slice some vegetables.

"Aunt Sasha!" I heard a child's voice come toward the kitchen and many pairs of footsteps behind it.

I turned to see the first little girl running toward me. I knelt down so she could jump in my arms.

"Oh Mary, look how big you are now!" I told her, smiling at the eleven year old in front of me.

She laughed, "Aunt Sasha, us kids colored you a picture on the aeroplane on the way here," Mary explained to me, "Mum has it in her bag."

"I can't wait to see it," I told her. Another little girl caught my eye, "Stella, you're so much older now too."

Nine year old Stella hugged me. I couldn't believe that my nieces had gotten this much older. I had invited Paul and Linda to stay with me for a night on their way out to California. I hadn't seen Linda or the kids in nearly three years.

I stood from the ground and came face to face with a teenage girl, "Heather, you're making me feel old."

Heather was Linda's daughter from a previous marriage, but Paul had adopted her when him and Linda were married. I remember her running around at Abbey Road Studios being the center of the Beatles' attention when she was there.

"Oh Aunt Sasha," she laughed, "I'm only seventeen."

"Only seventeen?" I laughed back.

I spotted Linda behind Heather. She was holding a little boy in her arms.

"It's good to see you again, Sasha," Linda said, then she spoke to the little boy in her arms, "James, it's your Aunt Sasha."

"You were just a tiny little baby when I last saw you," I told him. He looked so much like Paul.

Then, like a pack mule, Paul came through the front door with all of the suitcases, "I'm always stuck with the heavy lifting."

"Oh Paul, that's what dads are for," Linda laughed.

I ran to meet him at the front door. I had spoken on the phone to him several times since he dropped by last year to check on me, but it wasn't the same. The last few years of the sixties, Paul and I had gotten so close, but the seventies seemed to push us apart. He was just always so busy. It seemed that he had been on a never ending tour since the beginning of the decade. I missed my brother.

"Paul," I said.

He looked up at me, "Hey big sis. You look a hell of a lot better than the last time I was here."

I brought him into a hug, "We have so much to talk about."

"What?" He asked curiously.

"To make things short, John filed for divorce from Yoko, and we're pretty much set to spend the rest of our lives together. I feel so different about it this time. I've never felt so certain."

Paul sighed, "I just don't want you to get hurt, you know."

"I won't this time. I just know it. He comes over nearly every day," I explained.

"I'm guessing he's coming for dinner," Paul said.

"Yes, he probably will show up," I told him as we started to make our way to the kitchen.

Paul rubbed his hands together, "Well, this should be fun."

"What should be fun?" Linda asked as we walked into the kitchen. She already taken a seat at the table with the kids.

Paul grinned, "Sasha said that John would probably come for dinner."

"That's exciting," Linda smiled, "Should I get my camera out?"

"No, Linda, don't be ridiculous," Paul said, shaking his head.

I was still a little confused, "What's the big deal? I thought you and John still spoke on the phone."

"We do. Well, I haven't spoken to him since last year. I haven't seen him since '76. He doesn't know I'm here, does he?"

"Errr, no, I haven't told him," I said, "but it should be fine."

I heard the front door open once more, "Mama! You here?"

"In the kitchen, John," I called back.

"Here we go," Paul said, inhaling nervously.

John walked through the doorway and stood in shock, "Paul?"

Paul smiled at him, "Hello John."

John surprised all of us and brought Paul into a hug, "I missed you. How have you been?"

Paul pulled away from the hug, "Great. You look like your doing alright."

"I'm doing pretty good," John pulled me beside him by holding on to my waist, "Now that I've finally got your sister back by my side that is."

Paul smiled at John. I was beaming at the sight of the two of them standing in front of one another. I suppose that Paul would be John's brother-in-law by this time next year.

* * *

Dinner went very well. All of us were talking and laughing. We reminisced and shared stories of what we've been up to for the past few years. It didn't surprise me one bit how easily John and Paul fell back into their old best friendship. After dinner, we all went to the living room to play some board games. I enjoyed watching John play with his soon-to-be nieces and nephew. Paul and John even grabbed guitars and sang a few old tunes before the night was over.

We all said our goodnights, and Paul, Linda, and the kids got settled in the guest rooms upstairs. John and I decided to stay up a little longer.

I was sitting on the couch with my legs resting on an ottoman. John's head was in my lap, and I was rubbing his head and playing with his hair.

"I really enjoyed tonight, Sasha," John spoke, "At the end of the Beatle days, Paul and I forgot how close we once were, but tonight I felt just as close to him as I did back in Liverpool and the early days of the Beatles."

"I'm glad, John," I smiled, "I really like seeing the two of you together and getting along."

Silence passed between us for awhile. I wondered what John was thinking.

After awhile, he spoke, "Dhani's coming soon, right?"

"Yeah," I said, excited to see my son for the first time since getting back from Bermuda, "He should be coming in a week and a half."

John sat up and looked in my eyes, "I'm turning 40 soon, you know?"

"Yes, I know, John."

"Sean and I are having a joint birthday party in Central Park, and I wanted to invite you and Dhani. Sean would like having Dhani there, and I would like having you there," he wiggled his eyebrows.

"I would love to come," I said, yawning afterwards, "You can tell me the details tomorrow. I'm sleepy now."

John smirked, "You can't go to sleep yet."

"And why not?"

John jumped up from the couch, "Because Winston O'Boogie hasn't had his way with you in almost a week."

Suddenly, John picked me up from the couch and threw me over his shoulder and carried me up the stairs as I laughed.

 **Author's Note: Let me know what you're thinking about the story. I wanted to John and Paul to have one last meeting...**


	91. Chapter 91: Life Begins at 40

**Something**

 **Chapter 91: Life Begins at 40**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **October 9, 1980**

"Okay, John. I'll be there," I replied to him over the phone.

"I can't wait to see you, mama," John said, music playing in the background, "I have to go now. I love you."

I smiled to myself, "I love you too. Happy Birthday."

The phone clicked on the other line, and I hung up on my end as well. Today was John's 40th birthday, and he had called to tell me that there had been a change of plans. Instead of having a party in Central Park, there was just going to be a small get together at the Dakota. He had been working so hard on his album that there simply hadn't been time to plan a party. I was a little nervous about it, to be honest. I knew that Yoko would be there, and I wasn't sure how my presence would affect things. John assured me that it would be fine, but I was still nervous.

I ran a makeup brush across my cheekbones to apply my blush, and took one last look in the mirror. Maybe John was right. Maybe I did look younger than my age. I grinned at the thought of him telling me I was beautiful.

I left my room and stopped in Dhani's room to get him ready for the party. He had arrived in New York a few days ago and would be staying for a week and a half. Our time between this visit and the next wouldn't be a long as this wait though because he was coming for Thanksgiving with Julian in November.

After waking Dhani from his nap and getting him dressed, we were in the car. By the time we arrived at the Dakota, we were a little late. I held Dhani's hand as we got out of the car. He held a bag in the other hand that had Sean's present, which was a little toy for him to play with. I had a letter for John in my purse. I had gotten him a new guitar, but I decided to give that to him in private.

Dhani and I rode up in the elevator. He was telling me some animated story about something that him and George did together before he came to visit me, but I was getting so nervous that I couldn't focus.

I walked up to John's door and brought my hand up to knock.

"Hey Sasha!" Ringo said as he opened it.

I hugged him, "Ringo, I didn't know you were in town."

"Yeah, wouldn't miss John's party. I didn't know you were coming," he said, probably hinting at mine and John's situation.

"Yeah, John invited me, and besides, Dhani wanted to play with Sean."

Ringo moved to the side so we could enter the apartment. I was surprised by the amount of people in here. I wasn't expecting it, I guess.

"John and Sean are in the dining room," Ringo informed me.

I grabbed Dhani's hand tighter and moved through the crowd of people to the dining room. I noticed my palms getting sweatier and sweatier as I got closer. The roar of everyone talking was making my nervousness and anxiety worse. I gulped nervously before stepping foot in the dining room.

There were tons of people in here as well. I saw a large cardboard hat in the shape of a cone atop John's head. I smiled to myself at how ridiculous he was. He was sitting in a chair with Sean in his lap. Yoko was sitting in the chair just behind him with her hand rubbing his back. They hadn't spotted me yet.

I knelt down to Dhani's level, "Dhani, why don't you go give Sean his present and wish him happy birthday."

Dhani nodded, "Can I tell John happy birthday too?"

"Of course you can," I smiled, "Now go on."

As Dhani approached John and Sean, I moved back further away from them. I watched from afar as Dhani approached them.

I smiled as John brought Dhani into a hug, then watched him as he gave Sean his present. John looked up, his eyes roaming the room before meeting mine.

"Music room," he mouthed.

I turned and left the dining room to make my way to the music room. I remembered where it was from the last time I was here.

Seconds after I arrived in the room, the door closed and John's arms were around me, "I'm so glad you're here."

"You look tired," I observed the bags under his eyes.

He sighed, "It was a rough night, that's all."

I stood in his arms and rubbed my hand across his cheek, "What happened?"

"Yoko's just driving me nuts. We were at the studio all night working on her songs for the album. I told her you were coming to the party yesterday, and I think she was trying to make me mad on purpose," John explained.

"I shouldn't have come," I admitted.

"No, no, no," John said, looking into my eyes, "I wanted you to be here. Don't worry, I'll be free of Yoko soon."

"Have you heard anything from your lawyer about the divorce?" I asked him.

"Sasha, you know it takes a long time from what you and George just went through. I talked to him yesterday, though, and our court date is set to end it all."

I grinned, "When?"

"The second week of December. I think the 14th is what he said. I wrote it down," John told me, "Then I'll be yours."

I smiled, "That is soon. I can't believe we're going to finally be starting our life together. We're going to be together once and for all."

"I can't wait," he brought his lips to mine, and for the first time today, he kissed me.

I moved my arms up to wrap around his neck as the encounter between us got deeper.

I pulled away, "Oh, I almost forgot," I dug in my purse and pulled out my letter, "You always write to me, so I thought I would write to you. I just told you how much you mean to me, but your actual present is at my house. I wanted to give it to you when we're alone."

John wiggled his eyebrows, "Alone huh?"

I laughed, "It's not that, but you can have that after the present if you'd like," I smirked at him.

He kissed me, "I would like that very much, mama."

There was a knock at the door, "John! It's time for cake," Yoko's voice shrilled through the door.

I rolled my eyes.

John laughed and whispered, "It won't be like this for too much longer. Wait to leave the room for a few minutes."

I nodded and watched John leave. After standing there for a couple minutes, I emerged from the room. When I walked back in the dining room, everyone was singing 'Happy Birthday' to John and Sean. Ringo was holding Dhani is his arms. I watched as John and Sean blew out the candles. Yoko kissed Sean on the cheek, then kissed John on the lips. I had to admit that it hurt a little.

I was handed a piece of cake. I went into the kitchen to sit at the table and eat it. Everyone else was in the dining room, but I just wanted to be alone.

Suddenly, two little five-year-olds ran past me.

I scooped up Sean in my arms as he laughed.

"Mummy got you Sean," Dhani laughed.

I hugged Sean close, "How's the birthday boy?"

He laughed, "I'm five!"

I laughed as his enthusiasm for getting older.

"Sean, I thought you were going to play?" Yoko said walking into the room.

She glared at me holding her son in my arms. I put Sean down, and he ran off, following Dhani into the living room.

"You have some nerve showing up here," Yoko told me.

I scoffed, "John invited me."

"That doesn't mean you actually have to come," Yoko explained, "You're nothing more than his mistress anyway."

I stood my seat, "He's divorcing you to be with me, in case you've forgotten."

"Is that what he's telling you?" Yoko raised her eyebrows at me.

I stepped back, "What are you talking about? John showed me the letter from his lawyer saying that he filed for divorce. He showed it to me back in August."

"Oh, he is divorcing me," she frowned, "but you actually believe that he'll just forget about me."

I couldn't believe her, "Listen, Yoko. I've known John a lot longer than you have. We've hit some bumps in the past, but I know how he feels about me, okay?"

Yoko's eyes shot daggers at me, "Okay, I'll tell him that when he's making love to me tonight."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard what I said. If you know John as much you say you do, you shouldn't be stupid enough to believe that he's telling you the truth."

"Maybe you're the one he's lying to," I shot back, "Did you ever think about that?"

"Did you ever think about the fact that you're nothing more than his little whore?!"

Tears came to my eyes as she said the unthinkable. I knew I shouldn't have come here.

Yoko grinned, "Aw, are you going to cry over him again? I heard that's all you do. You just cry over John day in and day out."

I couldn't even speak to her. I was trying so hard to not let my tears fall.

She spoke again, "John knows that you'll get on your hands and knees in front him if he says the right things to you. You're just his game, Sasha. You're his little whore."

I didn't even think before bringing my hand up and smacking her right across the face. Tears were streaming down my face now as I ran from the kitchen.

"Sasha, what's wrong?" Ringo asked me as I ran past him.

My tears were flowing from my eyes, "Just bring Dhani home later. Please."

Before I could head out the door, I heard Yoko screaming at someone, "That bitch you invited into our home hit me!"

I opened the door and tore down the hallway to the elevator.

"Sasha!" I heard John call after me, "Sasha, don't go anywhere. Don't let her win."

I stopped in my tracks and turned to face him. He approached me slowly. He cautiously brought me into his arms.

I was embarrassed at how hard I started crying.

John held me tight and rubbed my back, "Shhh. It's alright. I love you."

"Please don't let what she said to me be true," I blubbered into his shirt.

John sighed, "I don't know what she said, but I'm sure it wasn't true. She always been jealous of you, Sasha. Just forget about her."

"John," I cried, "I love you. Please don't leave me."

He kissed the side of my head, still holding me tight, "I won't leave you."


	92. Chapter 92: Bring It On Home To Me

**Something**

 **Chapter 92: Bring It On Home To Me**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **November 25, 1980**

I stood patiently at the arrivals section of the airport. People rushed around me either coming or going for the Thanksgiving holiday coming up in two days. Julian and Dhani were coming in for a few days to spend Thanksgiving in New York. I looked at the board with all the flight numbers on it and found their flight. It read that it had arrived fifteen minutes ago. I knew how long it look to go through customs and get your bags, but I wanted to see my little boy. I hadn't seen him since he was in town around John's birthday nearly two months ago.

Things cleared up after John's birthday. John was extremely angry at Yoko for the things that she had said to me at the party, which only made him agree with his own decision to divorce her more. We spent almost every day together since then. Sometimes with John staying a couple nights at my place. I hadn't seen him in a week and a half, however, because he was busy promoting his new album, which was doing quite well. I knew this meant that he was out parading around with Yoko to go different interviews and photoshoots, but held on to the truth that it would be all over soon, and John would be completely mine. He had promised that he would spend Thanksgiving with me though, so it wouldn't be too much longer, and I would be seeing him again.

"Mummy!" I heard a child yell.

I turned toward the direction of the child's voice and spotted him running toward me, "Dhani!"

I knelt down, so he could run into my arms. When he did, I wrapped my arms around him and held him so tightly. This was the only reason I hated to divorce George. I hated that I didn't get to see Dhani as often as I would like to.

"Hi baby," I said, still holding him, "Was the plane ride fun?"

He pulled away slightly from our hug so he could look at me. He nodded. His little five-year-old big brown eyes were shining with tears.

"What's wrong, Dhani?" I asked him quietly.

A tear escaped his eye, "I missed you, mummy."

I wiped his tear away as my eyes got a little watery as well, "Aww, Dhani, you know I missed you. Mummy loves you."

He hugged me close again, "I love you."

"Hi Sasha," I looked up to see Julian staring down at me.

I picked up Dhani and brought Julian into a hug with my other arm, "Hello Julian. How have you been?"

"Just fine," he replied, "I've missed New York though. You and dad."

"We've missed you too," I said, smiling, "Come on. Let's go home."

Traffic was horrible, and it took us twice as long to get home. I enjoyed the ride, however. Julian was telling me what all he's been up in England. I hadn't seen Julian since Bermuda, and he seemed to look like John more everyday. He was now even wearing round sunglasses to be like his father.

When we arrived at my apartment, I unlocked the door and helped the boys carry in their luggage. I noticed that there was a fire going in the fireplace.

"Sasha, you didn't leave a fire on, did you?" Julian asked cautiously.

"No, I..."

That's when I spotted a man's auburn hair just above the arm of the couch. I walked over and looked down at him. He was sleeping peacefully, stretched out on the couch in front of the fire. He still had his leather jacket and sunglasses on. He was probably tired from all of the promo he's been doing. I remembered those days of endless interviews. I bet he fell asleep waiting for me to come back. It was so good to see him again for the first time in almost two weeks. I leaned down and pressed a light kiss to his lips.

He stirred a little, "Mama?"

I smiled, "Go back to sleep. I know you're tired."

"No, I'll get up," he said.

John sat up, removing his sunglasses and rubbing his eyes. He yawned, then looked at me, sleepily.

"Are all those interviews wearing you out?" I asked, sitting down on the couch

He smiled, "I forgot how much work it is to promote an album."

"It's doing quite well, I hear," I smiled.

Then, suddenly, he brought me into a tight hug, "I wish it was you that I was doing the promo with. It would make it a lot easier," he whispered in my ear.

He stayed there with me wrapped in his arms. His hand was rubbing my back lightly. I wanted to stay like this forever.

"Mummy!" I heard Dhani call from the kitchen.

I sighed and pulled away from my embrace with John, "Their probably hungry. Are you hungry?"

"I could eat," he said.

I stood from the couch, and John did the same. I started to make my way into the kitchen, but he caught me by the wrist and put his arms around me again.

"You're not going anywhere quite yet," he said in a low voice.

I giggled as he began to kiss my neck and run his hands along my back, "John, the kids are hungry."

"So am I," he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

I smacked his chest, "Later. I promise."

John kissed me on the lips this time, and I felt my body go weak. How could he still do this to me after all these years? His lips moved with mine, which were soon parted by his tongue. We were full on snogging each other. I felt John's hands grab my bum as he kissed me harder.

"Sasha?"

I pulled away from John quickly to see Julian awkwardly standing there. Had he been watching us?

"I'm coming," I said.

John reluctantly let me go and followed me into the kitchen.

* * *

After dinner that night, and an exciting game of monopoly, the kids were in bed. John and I were resting on the couch in front of the fire. He sitting with his back against the arm of the couch, and I was leaning against him with his arms wrapped around me. I placed my head on his shoulder so I could place kisses on his jawline.

"I love you," he said, "I missed you."

"I missed you too, John."

He sighed, "I think I have three more weeks, and then I'm yours forever and always."

"I'm excited," I said, thinking about my certain future with John.

"When you do want to get married?" He asked me.

A big smile spread across my face, "I'll marry you whenever, wherever."

"You know, I think you should finally get that big wedding in a church that you've always wanted," he suggested, "You'll wear a huge white, poofy dress, and I'll wear my suit. I'll let Paul be my best man, and you'll probably have Maureen as your maid of honor. One of Paul's little girls can be the flower girl, and both Dhani and Sean can be the ring bearers. We'll say our vows in front of all of our friends, and then I'll kiss you, and we'll be husband and wife. We'll run out of the church, maybe a have a little party afterward, then be on our way to England and Scotland for our honeymoon."

"I like the sound of all of that, John," I said, my eyes getting watery just thinking about seeing John at the end of the aisle, waiting for me, finally.

I sat up and kissed him longingly. He shifted so that he was lying down flat, and I was sitting on top of him. His hands ran up and down my waist. He grabbed the bottom of my shirt and pulled it over my head. His he sat up, so his hands could reach behind me and unclasp my bra. I tore off his jacket and shirt and ran my hands up and down his chest as we kissed. I got off of him to strip from my skirt and underwear, and he stripped from his jeans and pants as well. He lied back down on the couch and smirked at me.

"So, you want me in control this time?" I smirked at him.

He gave me a big cheeky smile, "Come on, mama. Have a seat."

I wrapped my legs around his waist, slowly sitting down.

"John," I gasped as I felt him enter me.

He grabbed my waist, and we started moving with each other. At some point, I had lied down on his chest. His arms were wrapped around me as we were moving pretty fast against each other. His lips were connected with mine.

I pulled away, "John," I called out.

He grabbed my bum and starting moving faster. Our eyes locked on one another. Our breathing was getting heavier. John kissed my neck, and I buried my head in his neck.

Suddenly, he stopped and pushed me off of him, "John?"

There was an angry expression on his face as he hastily put his underwear back on, "Go to the bedroom and wait for me there."

"John, what's wrong," I was so confused.

"Just go," he said.

He started to walk away from me, but I stopped him, "John, tell me what's going on?"

He sighed, "You're going to be angry, and I need to take care of this."

John was almost to the stairs at this point, and I ran to meet him, "Just tell me!"

"I have to go have a word with Julian," he said.

Now, I was very confused, "What? John, we were in the middle of something. Why on Earth do you need to talk to Julian?"

We were at the top of the stairs now.

John rubbed his forehead in frustration, "Because, Sasha, he was watching us."

My eyes got as wide as they possibly could as I stared at John in disbelief, "What?"

"I saw him, at the top of the stairs, watching us," John explained, "Just get in bed, and I'll talk to him, then we can continue what we were doing."

I nodded. I turned and walked slowly to the bedroom. I was just in disbelief that Julian would do something like this. I was also scared for him. I hadn't seen John this mad in a long time. I lied down in bed and stared at the ceiling, still in shock.

 **Author's Note: Uh oh! What do you think John is going to say to Julian?**


	93. Chapter 93: Two of Us

**Something**

 **Chapter 93: Two of Us**

 **November 25, 1980  
**

 **John's POV**

I watched as Sasha walked down the hall to the master bedroom slowly. She was in as much shock as I was, actually I was more angry than anything. Julian knew that I was coming to scold him for his actions, but I decided to torture him and make him wait a bit longer. I trudged down the stairs and put my clothes back on to go and talk to him. Truth is, I was nervous to talk to him about what he had seen. We hadn't been the closest of father-son duos, but it was getting better. I always felt guilty about leaving Julian behind all the time, so I'm glad that we're finally getting a relationship built up.

I walked up the stairs and opened his door. He was sitting on the bed staring at his feet. I sat down in the chair that was at the desk across from his bed. I waited for him to say something first.

It took awhile, but he finally looked at me, "I'm sorry, dad. I was just going to get a glass of water, and I just couldn't turn away, and I just..."

He was rambling, so I decided to stop him, "What the hell were you thinking, Jules? You should've just turned around and came to get some water later. I don't why you felt the need to just stand there and watch us. Do you know how embarrassed Sasha is?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to look, but," he paused and took a deep breath, "dad, if I talk to you about something, will you not be mean about it?"

I nodded, "I'll try and keep an open mind."

"It's just...I know all the crazy stuff you did when you were my age, and I don't have any of that. I mean, I just had my first kiss a few months ago. I feel so, I don't know, abnormal because I haven't got a serious girlfriend or anyone to just shag. It's just, I hear all of you and Sasha's stories from you were my age, and I want to have those experiences too."

I took in everything he said. Even though he was my son, there was a night and day difference between myself at seventeen and him at seventeen. I sighed, "So you've never had sex?"

"No," he reluctantly admitted.

I sighed again. I really felt that I wasn't good at this kind of parenting stuff, "So you were just curious. There's nothing wrong with that, but it made Sasha very uncomfortable. I know you're seventeen and your hormones are going crazy. I remember being that age."

Julian didn't say a word. He just looked at the ground. I could tell that he was embarrassed and sorry for what he had done.

I went to sit next to him on the bed, "Julian, will you tell me the truth if I ask you a question?"

"Sure," he shrugged his shoulders.

I cleared my throat, "Are you...are you attracted to Sasha?"

He jumped up from the bed, "What? Dad? NO!"

I couldn't help but smile at his reaction, "Jules, it's okay. I won't blame you. Obviously."

"Why do you even ask?" He said.

"I've just noticed you looking at her body and things like that. It's okay to have a crush. Sasha is obviously a very attractive woman. However, now that you've seen her naked, you should probably lay off a bit. It makes her uncomfortable sometimes because she thinks of you like a step-son."

"She is beautiful," he said quietly, almost like he was ashamed, "but you love her. You do love her, don't you? You're not going to hurt her again?"

"Come sit down," I patted the spot next to me, "I love Sasha more than anything. I would do anything for her. I've made some mistakes in the past, but I learned my lesson. I really can't live without her. And I'll let you in on a secret."

"What?"

I grinned and pulled my wallet out of my jeans, "I'm going to ask her to marry me once and for all."

Julian's face lit up, "Dad, are you serious?"

I opened my wallet and pulled out an old ring, "This was your grandmother's ring. She gave it to me a few months before she died, and she told me that the only woman she wanted me to give it to was Sasha. I was going to give it to her when we got back from Hamburg, but that's the first time things went wrong. I forgot about it for years, but when I moved to New York, I found it. I've been saving it for Sasha. I was going to give this to her in LA a few years ago."

Julian took it from my hand, "How are you going to ask her? You have to make it special."

"I've thought about that a lot," I admitted, "I think I've settled on a great time though. The day where Sasha decorates her Christmas tree is coming up, and I was thinking of asking her when it's done and the lights are shining."

"She'll love that," Julian smiled, "I want to be here when you do it."

"Oh, Jules, I would love for you to be here, but I really need to do this alone. I've got so much to say to her. You can come the day after though, the ninth, and stay through Christmas," I suggested.

It was silent for a few moments.

Julian handed the ring back to me, "Thanks for the chat, dad. I'm glad I know I can come to you for anything now."

"Anytime Julian," I smiled, "I just can't believe how old you've gotten. It makes me feel old."

"To be fair, you were young when I was born," he smiled.

"You're right," I laughed, "Goodnight Jules."

"Goodnight dad," he said.

I left his room smiling, happy that everything in life was finally falling into the place that I wanted it to.


	94. Chapter 94: You Saved My Soul

**Something**

 **Chapter 94: You Saved My Soul  
**

 **November 25, 1980  
**

 **Sasha's POV**

John walked into the bedroom half an hour later, smiling from ear to ear.

I watched him from my spot in the bed under the covers. He continued to smile as he took off his clothes that he had put back on to talk to Julian. I wanted to know what had been said.

"Well?" I asked.

John looked at me on his way to the bathroom, "Well, what?"

"Did you scold him?"

"Sasha," he said, "Julian knows that what he did was wrong. We talked about it. It won't happen again."

John disappeared into the bathroom. I couldn't help but wonder what had been said between the two. I just still couldn't believe that Julian had seen me and John having sex. I shook my head at the thought.

John emerged from the bathroom, "Besides, don't you remember how you and I were at seventeen? Curious about everything."

I reminisced about our crazy Liverpool days, then raised an eyebrow at him, "Trying different positions..."

He laughed, "In your dad's house. In Mimi's," he climbed into bed next to me and brought me into his arms.

I continued the list, "In Paul's house once after that party. Most of the clubs in Liverpool. Right inside the gates of Strawberry Fields. We could've been arrested for that one."

"One of my favorites was the time behind The Grapes, in the alley," John wiggled his eyebrows at me, causing me to laugh.

"We were insane," I said, shaking my head, "but it's not an excuse for Julian."

John looked at me, "I told you he had a crush on you."

"Oh, John, I do not want to talk about that. He saw me naked. Enough damage has been done tonight," I complained, "Anyway, what had you so giddy when you walked in? That big smile you had on. You looked like a schoolgirl. You looked like me after our first date," I laughed.

John shook his head and smiled, "Nothing. I was just thinking about you that's all. I was thinking about how much I love you. Smiling about the future."

"What about the future?" I tried.

He smirked at me, "You'll find out soon. Now, where were we?"

In one motion, John was on top me making me laugh at the abruptness of his movements.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and kissed him, "Right about here."

 **The next morning**

I opened my eyes to find him staring back at me. Both of us naked, lying on our side, facing the one we loved the most.

"Hi," his scratchy morning voice said.

I smiled, "Morning, Mr. Lennon."

He grinned, "I love you so much, mama."

"What's that smug look on your face?"

He brought me close to him, "I'm just thinking about last night."

"You were incredible. Always are," I admitted shyly.

John laughed, "Why are you blushing? You contributed your fair share as well. It's always just as incredible as the first time."

I looked in his eyes. I felt his arms around me tightly. The warmth from his body was spreading to me. I never wanted this phase of my life to end. I needed to hold on to John as long as I could. I needed him there beside me for the rest of my life. Now, I know for sure, that we would be together for the rest of our days.

I looked down, dragging my fingers across his chest, "I can't wait to be Mrs. Lennon. Finally."

He placed his finger under my chin and brought my eyes to his, "I can't wait either."

His lips touched mine lovingly and longingly. I ran my hand up and down his arm as his hand squeezed my bum.

"John," I squealed.

He rolled us over to be on top of me, "Don't be so jumpy, mama."

His lips caressed mine again as his hand traveled into my hair.

There was a knock at the door.

John rolled off of me, and I pulled the covers up to my chin, "Come in!"

Julian walked in the room awkwardly and lifted Dhani onto the bed with me and John.

"Good morning John! Morning mummy!" Dhani yelled, smiling, "It's cooking day! Tomorrow's Thanksgiving!"

John laughed, "You're not excited are you, son?"

My heart fluttered at John calling Dhani son. I wanted so desperately for us to have children of our own as soon as we're married.

"Morning Sasha, dad," Julian said to us.

I smiled, "Morning Jules, did you sleep well?"

"Yes," he replied quietly, "Did you?"

I looked at John, who raised an eyebrow at me, "I slept wonderfully," I didn't take my eyes off of John whilst I spoke.

I looked back at Julian. His cheeks had turned a bright shade of red. Poor nervous boy.

"Well," John said to break to tension, "Julian, why don't you take Dhani downstairs? Sasha and I will be down in a minute and I'll fix breakfast since Ms. McCartney here will be cooking all day."

Julian said okay and got Dhani to go with him. As soon as they were gone, John picked me up from the bed and spun me around. I laughed as he did. He sat me back down on my feet with a kiss.

I brought my hand up to his hair, "John, I love you."

"I love you," he kissed me again, "Get dressed for breakfast."

I found a nightgown to wear and put on John's checked shirt over top of it to keep me warm. He had dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. Suddenly he picked me up bridal style and carried me through the door.

My arms were wrapped around his neck, "John, what are you doing?"

He kissed me as we started to descend the stairs, "I'm practicing."

"For what?" I laughed.

"Our wedding night," he said simply, "when I have to carry through the threshold."

"Oh, John!" I laughed, kissing him once more.


	95. Chapter 95: Here Today

**Something**

 **Chapter 95: Here Today  
**

 **November 27, 1980  
**

 **Sasha's POV**

I padded into the kitchen at half five still naked from mine and John's night last night. I only had his checked shirt wrapped around me. The kitchen was dark, so I opened the curtains to let in some of the lights from the city buildings around my apartment. It was still dark outside, and the moon was shining in the distance casting some more light into the kitchen. I turned on the under cabinet lights just to see what I was doing.

It was Thanksgiving today. I always look forward to this time of year because it sort of kicks off the festive season. It always goes by too fast. I had to put in the turkey now though, so it would be ready for our late lunch. Yesterday, I prepared most of the side dishes and the chocolate pie. Today before the feast, I needed to finish the apple pie, the turkey, and put the finishing touches on the side dishes. I also thought that John said he was going to bake some bread today. I looked over and saw a bowl by the sink with a towel over it. I raised up the towel and saw the bread rising. I couldn't wait to spend today with John, Julian, and Dhani. It was almost like how the future would be.

After putting the turkey in the oven to start its slow cooking process, I decided to sneak back to bed to get some more rest before having to wake up for good and start cooking.

As I climbed into bed, John stirred, taking me into his arms. I snuggled my head into his chest feeling his warm to shield me from the cold November morning. I couldn't wait to spend everyday like this soon. Everyday we were getting closer and closer to John and Yoko's court date to finally end their marriage once and for all.

John's lips brushed against my forehead, "I love you," he murmured in a sleep-ridden voice.

"I love you too, John," I replied.

My eyes were heavy, and within no time at all, I was back to sleep

* * *

"Mama," someone was shaking me, "Sasha, wake up love."

I opened my eyes to find John standing on the other side of the bed reaching over to me. The morning sun was shining through the curtains now. I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

John snickered at me, "Sleepy head, it's time to get cooking for the day."

"Alright, John," I said reluctantly, "First, I have to take a shower and get cleaned up. I'll meet you downstairs."

"Okay. I have to run and get something. I'll be back soon," John explained to me.

I nodded and made my way to the bathroom.

 **John's POV**

I watched as Sasha disappeared into the bathroom, then I flew down the stairs and out the apartment door before anyone could notice. I was planning quite the surprise for my proposal to Sasha. I wanted it to be a night that she would never forget.

I stopped at the receptionist desk, "Can I use your phone to make an international call?"

"Sir, you can use the phone in your apartment," the receptionist explained to me.

"I know, but my son's on the phone, and it's urgent," I lied.

The truth was that I didn't want Sasha to pick up the phone and listen to my conversation.

The man at the desk sighed, "Sure, come back here to the office."

"Thanks," I followed him.

He led me into an office and explained the international phone procedure to me. I knew it already, but I just played along anyway. Once he had shut the door behind him, I sat in the chair that was there in the room and dialed a somewhat familiar number.

It rang for what seemed like ages before he finally picked up, "Hello?"

"Hey Paul," I said, "It's John."

"Hello John, how are you doing?" Paul asked, his voice lighting up.

I smiled as well, "Just fine. Hey, listen, do you have any big plans coming up in the next couple of weeks?"

"I don't believe so. I'm just in London at the moment recording a new album. Why?"

I shook my head and snickered a bit. Paul never stopped working, "I just think you should come back out here to New York in a couple of weeks."

"Why John?" Paul's voice was soaked in confusion.

I sighed and nervously began to answer his question, "Okay, you know how Sasha decorates her Christmas tree on the same day every year? Well, shortly after that is my divorce court date with Yoko. I have Julia's ring in my pocket right now because I've been trying to think of the best time to propose to your sister. I think that right after we plug in the lights for the tree is a good time."

"That sounds fabulous," Paul agreed, "I'm so glad you're finally doing this, John. You and Sasha both know that you need to be together."

"Anyway, I was wondering if maybe you could show up the next day. The ninth of December with kids and everything. Julian's flying back to London tomorrow, so he'll probably fly with you here. Maybe you should fly in on the eighth just so you can get to the apartment first thing in the morning."

Paul paused to probably think about the proposition, "That sounds great. You and Sasha could show us all the Christmas decorations in New York. The kids would love that famous ice skating rink. It would be great. We'll be there."

"Thanks so much, Paul," I said, "Well, I've got to go. Thanks for everything."

I was about to hang up the phone, the Paul spoke once more, "Wait, John! Before you go, I just wanted to tell you that you make my sister so happy. I've hoped and prayed for the day that this would finally happen. It's different than the other times, expect maybe in LA a few years ago, but it seems more permanent this time. I know that you and Sasha will finally make it. She loves you so much, John."

"I love you her too," I said, "so much."

"And John," Paul added, "Thanks for being a mate to me as well. I can't wait until I can actually call you my brother-in-law."

"Paul, you've always been like a brother to me," I said, thinking about how long I've known Paul.

He laughed, "You too, John. I hate to get sappy on you. I'm just thankful that I met you. I'm thankful that because of you, I get to do this singing job everyday, you know. So thanks mate. I love you, my brother."

"Love you too, brother Paul," I laughed and he did as well on the other line, "Goodbye Paul."

"See you soon, John," he said before the line went dead.


	96. Chapter 96: Love

**Something**

 **Chapter 96: Love  
**

 **November 27, 1980  
**

 **Sasha's POV**

I sprinkled some cinnamon and sugar on the top of the uncooked apple pie and smiled at how pretty it looked already. I opened the oven door and slid it in so it could begin baking and filling the house with it's familiar and delicious aroma.

I turned to see Julian sitting at the table and helping Dhani with some work that he had brought from England. I couldn't believe that he was already in primary school, and Julian was out of school for that matter. It technically wasn't a school holiday this week, but I wanted Dhani to spend Thanksgiving with me, so George talked to his school, and they let him bring this week's work with him to America.

"Do you know where your father is? He's been gone awhile," I asked Julian.

Julian looked up at me, "I didn't know he left. I thought he was still asleep."

"Still asleep at one in the afternoon?"

"Hey, he's done it before," Julian said, laughing.

I smiled, "He only sleeps that late if he's been at the studio all night or he's trying to avoid something."

"I think he was trying to avoid Yoko," Julian laughed.

"We all want to avoid her," I scoffed, "Anyway, I need to know what he's doing with this bread dough. It needs to be done by the time the rest of the food is done."

As if on cue, the front door slammed, "Hello! I'm back!"

John wandered into the kitchen with a paper bag in one hand and his other hand behind his back. He stood there smiling at me.

"John, where have you been? You need to put your bread in."

He stepped closer to me, setting the brown paper bag on the counter, "I went to get a few things down the street."

"You were gone for a long time, John," I observed his sneaky behavior.

"I got you something," he pulled his other hand from behind his back to reveal that he was holding a beautiful bouquet of red roses, "For you, mama."

I took them from him and admired them, "Oh, John, they're gorgeous. I haven't been given flowers in a long time."

John brought me into an embrace and kissed me sweetly, "I saw them in the shop, and I knew you would love them. They're your favorite."

I kissed him once more before pulling away, "I need to put them in water. They'll be a great centerpiece for supper."

"Speaking of supper, it smells incredible in here," John said, taking a bottle of champagne out of the brown bag.

"Champagne," I noticed, "We're having a fancy Thanksgiving."

He smirked at me, "This is for me and you after the kids go to bed."

* * *

We gathered around the table with our full plates that we had constructed in the buffet-style line that John and I had set up. The roses that John bought me were in the center of the table, and the sun was setting over the New York City skyline out of my big kitchen window. It seemed that the day had just flown by.

"Ah, Thanksgiving," John said staring at his mountain of food, "The one day a year where I never seem to get full."

"This is true," Julian said with a mouthful of turkey.

Dhani took a huge bit of turkey and said, "I love Thanksgiving!"

I laughed, "Oh, Julian, look at the horrible table manners you've taught Dhani."

Julian laughed, "Come on, Sasha. It's a holiday."

"Yeah, lighten up Sasha," John smirked at me.

"Did you not hear me laughing?" I said, "Besides, you're supposed to wait and eat until after we go around and say what we're thankful for."

"I almost forgot," John said, "Dhani, what are you thankful for?"

I smiled at John looking down at Dhani.

Dhani grinned, "Um, I'm thankful for mummy and daddy and you and Julian and this food."

I chuckled, "That's good, Dhani. I'm thankful for all of that too. This year, however, I'm more thankful for John," I looked at John, "Thank you for showing me that I finally deserve a chance at real love again. Thank you for making sure that it's going to last. I'm thankful for every year and every moment that we've had together. I'm thankful for all the memories, good and bad, because they shaped who I am today. I'm just thankful for all of you in general, John. I love you so much, and I can't see myself spending another Thanksgiving with anyone else."

I noticed that John's eyes were shining with a thin layer of tears, "I love you too, Sasha. Everything you said is true for me too, but I just wish that we could've had more of the past years together, but I know how many more we have to come."

John leaned and kissed me from across the table.

Julian spoke up, "I'm thankful for you too, Sasha. I am because every time you're with dad, you give me my dad back. Thank you for that. Also, you'll be a great step-mom, and hopefully, you'll give me some more brothers and maybe sisters."

I smacked his arm, "Julian!"

"I second that motion, Julian," John snickered, "If things go as planned, you'll have that very soon."

John smirked at me, and I blushed back at him. I couldn't believe that we were seriously talking about having kids 'very soon.'

* * *

I sat on the couch, my tummy miserably full from all the food that I put away at dinner. I sipped on my second glass of champagne and watched as John lit the fire in the fireplace. He walked back over to the couch and grabbed his glass of champagne. He sat down next to me, patting his stomach.

"Whew, what a meal Ms. McCartney," he said, taking a sip of champagne.

I smiled, "Your bread was good."

He looked at me and smiled. He held a stare on me.

"What, John?" I laughed at him staring.

He ran his hand across my cheek, "I was just thinking. I can't wait to call you Mrs. Lennon."

"I can't wait for you to call me that," I admitted.

He brought me in for a kiss, his tongue slipping past my slightly parted lips to make the kiss deeper and more passionate.

I pulled away and ran my hand up and down his exposed chest, "I think I've told you before how much I love you in button-up shirts, the buttons undone to show your chest. You look sexy, my teddy boy."

He smirked, "I was hoping you would notice my choice of clothes today. They're just for you."

I continued to dance my fingers over his chest as I leaned in for another heated kiss. This one lasted a bit longer. John's arm snaked around me and brought me as close as he could in the position we were in. I pulled away and set my glass on the coffee table. I took John's glass from his hand and set it next to mine. I trailed my hand down the front of his shirt. I placed my hand on the front of his jeans and rubbed gently.

He took a sharp breath in, "Sasha."

"Someone's excited about what's to come already," I toyed with him.

He smirked at me, "I've had a throbber since dessert. You bent over in that short, sexy dress to cut the pies, and I saw your knickers. You maybe shouldn't wear a thong in case someone else sees."

"I only wore it for you, John," I admitted, moving to straddle him.

I sat in his lap. I brought my lips down to his, and we began our attack on each other's mouths. I moved my hips back and forth on him as he grabbed my bum to make sure I didn't stop.

He pulled away, but I continued to kiss his neck, "We maybe...shouldn't do..this in..the living...room...again."

John was unraveling under me, and I couldn't get enough of it. I couldn't wait much longer.

"Then take me to bed, my teddy boy," I said, looking into his eyes.

John picked me up and nearly ran up the stairs. I was laughing the whole way there. God, I loved him so much.


	97. Chapter 97: Wonderful Christmastime

**Something**

 **Chapter 97:Wonderful Christmastime  
**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **December 7, 1980**

I could feel his warm arms around me, and I wondered what time he came in last night. One of his hands was holding my hand, our fingers locking together. He was snoring lightly, his hot breath hitting against the back of my neck. Yesterday, he had been doing promo all day for his album, and I hadn't expected him to come here last night. We had panned on him coming over this morning.

I shifted so that I could face him. I brushed my finger down his cheek. His eyelids fluttered, then they opened to reveal his hazel eyes. I found those green specs that I always looked for.

He grinned sleepily, "Morning, mama."

"Good morning, John," I said, smiling back at him, "When did you get here?"

He kissed me softly on the lips, "Half two, I think. It was late, and I didn't want to wake you, but I couldn't wait until today to be with you."

"John," I caressed his cheek with my hand, "Only seven more days, and we can look toward our future together."

"I can't wait that long," John whined, "I wish the lawyer would have scheduled the court date sooner."

"Me too," I agreed, looking into his eyes.

His kissed me quickly, "I was thinking about what to do today, and we're getting a tree for tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah, John, why?"

"You know how you used to tell me about how your mom and stepdad would drive that old car they had when you lived in New York to Pennsylvania to get the perfect Christmas tree?"

I reminisced on my childhood in the forties, "Yes, I do remember."

"Well, I found that tree farm that they would take you to, and I want to go there to get it," John suggested, "It'll be fun to take a road trip anyway. You and me singing along to Christmas songs on the radio. We'll just have the most Christmassy day today, just like you like it."

I smiled widely, "You know me so well, John."

"I love you," he simply said.

I smiled again, "I love you too."

John kissed me. I smiled in between kisses. I couldn't stop smiling.

"John?" I asked, "Could we maybe get the things to make some mulled wine tonight?"

"I haven't had mulled wine in ages," he grinned, "That sounds amazing. Let's get out of bed and get ready. We'll grab some breakfast on the way."

"Sounds like a plan," I kissed John quickly before jumping out of bed.

I think that this morning was the fastest that I ever got ready for an outing. I was so excited though. John knew that Christmas was my absolute favorite time of year, and I loved everything that led up to the special day. I couldn't believe that this year John and I would actually be spending Christmas together again as a couple with a known future.

After picking up a coffee and donut each for breakfast, John and I were on our way in my little Mini Cooper to pick out the perfect tree to decorate tomorrow. Christmas songs were blasting from the radio, and we were singing loudly along to them, not caring how bad our screaming voices sounded. John had been amazing at finding the address to the old tree farm that I used to go to as a little girl. He had the map in his lap the whole time telling me which roads to take. As soon as we had crossed into Pennsylvania, little snow flakes started falling from the sky.

"Oh, John, it's snowing. This is perfect," I smiled.

John looked at me from the passenger side, "You look perfect today, mama."

I felt my cheeks flush red, "John, please..."

"You do. It's been awhile since you've worn red lipstick, and well, it's turning me on a bit," he laughed.

I laughed as well, "Do I need to turn soon?"

John looked down at the road map in his lap, "Yeah, you'll turn left in a few miles, and then we follow that road straight on to the tree farm."

* * *

When we arrived at the tree farm, we both got out of the car without saying a word. I walked to stand in front of the car, and John came and stood beside me.

He placed his hand on the small of my back, "Well, is this it?"

"Yeah, it looks just like it did when I was a little girl," I looked up at John.

I hadn't noticed that a tear had escaped my eye until John ran his thumb across my cheek, "Don't cry, Sasha."

"I'm sorry," I sniffled, "It's just that...I have so many memories of mom and my step dad, and I just miss them."

"Sasha," John brought me into his arms, "I know you have all of those wonderful memories, but it's okay to make new ones. This can be our tradition every year, and we'll bring our kids to pick out a tree someday."

I nodded and pulled away from his embrace, "Come on then!"

I grabbed his hand, our fingers intertwining, and walked toward the tents that held local baked goods and Christmas decorations. John and I stayed here for awhile. There were loads of people here, but I felt like it was just me a John. I guess you could say that I had tunnel vision for him. It felt like we were alone in this Christmas paradise. I stopped walking and kissed him every so often as we looked at all of the things. We ended it up buying some cookies and a kit to make mulled wine later. John grabbed my hand once more after we paid for those items, and lead me to a refreshment stand.

"What are funnel cakes?" He asked me.

"Oh, John, they're delicious. We have to get one to share," I begged him.

"Alright. I'll get us one of those and two hot chocolates. Can you find us a table, love?" He leaned down and stole a kiss.

"Sure," I said, "Hurry back."

I sat down at a picnic table that was close by and watched as John ordered our midday snack. Christmas music was playing in the background. The smell of chocolate, funnel cakes, and pine trees swirled around creating the perfect festive atmosphere.

John came back with our snack and sat down next to me rather than across from me, "We need to stay warm," he explained.

We shared our hot chocolates and funnel cake, kissing the powdered sugar off of each other's lips every so often. After we had finished, John suggested that we go ahead and find a tree before it got too late. We walked hand in hand through the rows of trees to find the perfect one.

"It needs to be tall because I've got tall ceilings in my living room," I said, looking at the hundreds we had to chose from.

John let go of my hand and ran into a row of trees, "Sasha, I've got one."

A few seconds later, he emerged from the trees, dragging a beautiful one behind him, "This is the one."

I smiled, "You've got quite the eye for Christmas trees, Mr. Lennon. It's perfect."

"Just like you," he smiled cheekily.

I laughed, "Don't be cheesy. It really is great, though. I think we should get that one."

"Let's go then," John said.

I helped him drag the tree back to the register so we could buy it. A couple of guys helped us put it through the netting machine and tie the massive thing onto the top of my Mini. It did look silly.

The drive home was just like the drive there. We were singing along to Christmas music watching the sunset and the tiny snow flurries. When we got to my apartment building, the two of us had a time dragging this big tree up to the top floor. It barely fit in the elevator. John helped me set it up and put it in water once we were back in my apartment. It really was gorgeous.

John took off his shoes and coat and plopped down on the couch. I started the fire, lit some candles, and disappeared into the kitchen to make the mulled wine. When it was finished, I took a glass to John and snuggled next to him on the couch.

"Can every night for the rest of my life be like this, mama?" John asked after taking a sip of his wine.

"I want that too, John," I said, kissing his neck lightly, "The tree is perfect. I can't wait to decorate it tomorrow night."

"I've been waiting for tomorrow night for a long time. Just you and me, alone, decorating the tree," John said, "and probably making love right here on the couch in front of the finished product."

I sighed, already looking forward to tomorrow, "Do you have business things to do tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I do actually," John explained, "I have a photoshoot at the Dakota, a couple of interviews, and then Yoko wants me to record guitar work on a track she's working on for next year."

"Oh," I said, "You sound pretty busy."

He looked down at me, "Sasha, decorating the tree with you tomorrow is my number one priority. I just have to get done with the last of this promo stuff, so I can be done with it and relax. After I'm done at the studio tomorrow night, I'll call you. We could go out to a nice, quiet, and romantic dinner. Then, we can come back here and decorate, then I'll make love to you. Does that sound alright?"

I smiled at him, "Yeah, it sounds prefect, but why do I have to wait until tomorrow night for you to make love to me?"

A smirk spread across John's face, "You don't, mama. We'll do it right here right now."

"Take me to bed, John," I said with big eyes at him.

He grabbed my empty glass out of my hand and set it down on the coffee table along with his glass. I watched as he rose from the couch and blew out all of the candles in the room. He walked back over to me and grabbed my hand. He lead me up the stairs and to the bedroom. Once we were in the bedroom, our lips met slowly and passionately. One by one our clothes were discarded onto the floor. John lied me down on the bed. Our naked bodies being made into dark silhouettes as the lights from the city buildings shined in from the windows. John continued to kiss me as he slowly started to make love to me.

"John," I called out his name, running my hands up and down his back.

His lips met my neck, then whispered in my ear, "Forever and always, mama."


	98. Chapter 98: Free As a Bird

**Something**

 **Chapter 98: Free As a Bird**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **December 8, 1980**

 **7:45 a.m.**

I sat across from John at the kitchen table. It felt like our eyes hadn't left each other since last night. I grinned to myself, thinking about the love John and I made all night last night.

"What's got you smiling?" John asked me, smirking.

I winked at him, "You."

It went silent again. We were just enjoying the presence of each other. I was wrapped in one of his checked shirts, my naked body underneath. John, however, was dressed and ready for his busy day. His sunglasses were sitting next to his plate of breakfast that was almost eaten.

Soon, I was in his arms at my front door, "I wish you could stay today, John."

"I do too, mama, but I've got a hit album to promote," he snickered, "Besides, we'll be together tonight. I wouldn't miss the famous tree decorating for the world. I'll call when I'm on my way to the Dakota tonight, so you can meet me there. In the mean time, get in the bath and relax. You haven't done that in awhile. Then, get all dolled up for dinner tonight."

"Where are we going?" I asked, smiling at him.

John's eyes shifted up towards the right as he tried to remember the name of the restaurant, "Um, I don't remember what it's called. It's a fancy place around here though. I made the reservation this morning when you were sleeping. Is eleven tonight too late?"

"Eleven? You're that busy today, John?"

He sighed, "Yeah, I'm sorry. Hopefully soon everything will calm down, and I can finally stop doing all this bloody promo."

"I love you," I stood on my tiptoes to kiss his lips gently.

He pulled away, "Do me a favor? Wear that tight black dress tonight and red lipstick."

"Your wish is my command," I said, kissing him again.

We stood in the doorway kissing for awhile, then he pulled away, "See you tonight. I love you."

"Love you too," I said one last time.

I watched as John walked down the hallway and disappeared into the elevator.

 **2:36 p.m.**

After baking a few batches of gingerbread cookies for tonight. I ate some lunch and made my way up to the bathroom. I took John's suggestion and started drawing a bath. I lit some scented candles and set a glass of champagne on the side of the bathtub. I poured some bubble bath in to make it extra relaxing.

I slipped John's shirt off, which I had been wearing all day, and climbed into the hot bath water. I let all my muscles relax. I grinned to myself, closing my eyes and thinking of last night, and what was to come tonight. I loved John so much. I was just so happy at the moment, so in love and so happy.

My eyes opened at the sound of the phone ringing. I picked up the phone that I had on a table by the bath, "Hello?"

"Sasha," John's voice filled my ear. I smiled again.

"Hi, John, how's everything going?" I asked him, twirling the phone cord in my fingers.

He cleared his throat on the other line, "Just fine. We had a photoshoot this morning at the Dakota. I did a phone interview for a station in San Francisco. I signed a few autographs outside. I'm just heading to the studio now for a couple more interviews and to do that guitar work for Yoko."

"Sounds like you're enjoying fame again," I smirked.

"It's alright," John chuckled, "What are you doing now?"

"I'm sitting in a hot bubble bath with candles lit and a glass of champagne. I wish you were here with me."

I could hear the smile in John's voice, "You don't know how nice that sounds, Sasha. I wish I could be there."

I closed my eyes and just listened to his breathing on the other line.

"Sasha," he spoke after a few minutes of silence, "I've got to go now. I'll see you tonight. I love you so much."

"I love you too. See you tonight," I said.

The line went dead.

 **9:00 p.m.**

I put the finishing touches on my freshly washed hair by spraying it with hairspray. I began to apply my makeup for tonight. I had put back on John's shirt after my bath this afternoon. I wasn't sure how long I was in the bath, but it was relaxing and refreshing to just soak in the tub for awhile.

After about thirty minutes, I applied my red lipstick for John. I knew that's what he wanted and what he liked on me. I walked to closet and went straight for the tight black dress that John had requested. I took off his shirt, letting it drop to the floor in my closet. I grabbed some pantyhose and slipped them on to give my legs an extra layer of warmth on this December night. I slipped the black dress on, admiring the way it looked on me in the mirror. I found some black heels that went nicely with it and put on my jewelry. I grabbed my gray coat and stuffed some black gloves into the pocket in case I needed them. The dress had a higher neck line, so I decided against wearing a scarf with it.

The phone rang, making me rush to the bedroom to answer it.

Before I could say 'hello,' his voice was saying, "Sasha, I'm about to leave the studio. I want to go tuck Sean in before I leave for the night. Just have your driver meet me at the Dakota, and we can go to the restaurant from there. I should be there a little before eleven."

"Okay," I said, "I'll leave my apartment soon as well to meet you there. I can't wait."

John spoke again, "I can't either. I'm so excited about tonight. I love you. Bye."

"Bye John," I replied, "See you soon. Love you."

The line went dead again.

 **9:50 p.m.**

I left the front doors of my apartment building and made my way down the steps. My driver was out front in a limo waiting for me. John must have talked to him and told him to drive a limo tonight. I almost never rode in a limo. I laughed to myself at John's romantic attempts.

I climbed into the back, "Fancy car tonight, Dan," I joked with the driver.

"Good evening, Ms. McCartney," he said, then laughed, "Yes, Mr. Lennon told me he wanted the best for your date tonight."

I laughed, "Sounds like him."

"Where are we headed?" Dan asked me.

"Oh, um, we need to pickup John at the Dakota, and then he'll tell you from there. He wouldn't tell me the name of the restaurant."

"That's alright," Dan replied, "To the Dakota it is."

I sat back in the seat watching New York go by out the window as we drove up to West 72nd street. Traffic wasn't too bad tonight on our route, but some of the streets we passed looked backed up for miles. Traffic started to get heavier as we approached closer to Central Park. By the time we were heading down John's street, it had taken us nearly an hour to get here. Then suddenly, we had to come to a stop in the traffic about a block away from the Dakota.

 **10:48 p.m.**

My heard turned at the sound of loud popping noises coming from outside the car. They were louder than the few cars that were honking in the traffic. An odd feeling crept into my stomach.

"Dan?" I scooted closer to the front, "Did you hear that?"

He looked back at me, "Yeah, it almost sounded like fireworks."

My mind went to the worse. I started to open the back door.

"Ms. McCartney, what are you doing?" Dan asked me.

I was half way out of the car, "I have to go check on John."

He probably thought I was crazy as I got out of the car in the middle of a traffic jam. I started running the block and a half to the Dakota as fast as my legs could carry me. The cold air was smacking me in the face as I ran. My heart was pounding fast, and I couldn't tell if it was because I was running or because I was nervous.

I approached the Dakota. Every thing on the outside seemed quiet. There was a man sitting near the landscaping on the sidewalk.

He looked up at me through his big glasses, "You're Sasha McCartney."

I ignored him. I didn't have time for fans. I had to find John.

 **10:51 p.m.**

The first thing I noticed when I walked into the Dakota was Yoko sitting up on the stairs crying and shaking. That eerie feeling crept into my body again. The doorman and another man I didn't recognize were hunched over someone lying on the floor. As I approached the scene, my heel splashed in blood that was staining the floor.

I gasped, my eyes wide with horror and tears at the familiar man on the floor.

"Move out of my way!" I screamed at the two men.

I got down on my knees on the floor beside him. His blood had soaked through my pantyhose staining my skin. I had never seen so much blood in my life.

"Sasha," he whispered, "I'm...glad...you're...here."

I tried not to let the tears escape from my eyes because I wanted to be strong for him, "John, what happened?"

"I..." he was struggling to speak, "I was shot."

I closed eyes tightly. With all of my strength, I lifted him into my arms to hold him.

"I love you," he said slowly.

I brushed some hair out of his eyes, "I love you too, John."

"Sasha?" He stared up at me.

"Yes John?"

A tear escaped from the outer corner of his eye, "I'm scared."

I closed my eyes tightly to keep from losing myself.

I spoke, but my voice was shaking, "Be strong, John. The ambulance is coming. They're going to help you. You'll get better, and then we can be together."

"I'm cold," he said, softly.

I quickly took off my coat and covered him with it, "It's alright, John. It's going to be okay."

"Promise me," he struggled, "Stay with me. Don't leave me. Stay right here with me."

"I will, John. I promise. I wouldn't leave you," I was trying so hard not to cry, "I love you so much, John."

"My wallet," he said.

I looked at him, confused, "Your wallet?"

"It's in my pocket," he said, "Take it. Don't let Yoko keep it from you."

I realized what he was saying, "No, John. You're going to be okay. Everything will be alright. You can't leave me now. I need you."

"I love you," he was whispering now.

I turned my head at the sound of footsteps. Two police officers were coming toward us. I held John's hand tightly and reached into his pocket to grab his wallet. I slipped it into my purse. John's eyes were opening and closing.

"Stay with me, John," I pleaded.

"Ma'am," one of the police officers spoke, "The ambulance can't get through the traffic, so we're going to transport him to the hospital in the police car."

I nodded, unable to speak. I couldn't believe this was happening, not to my John.

The police officers picked John off of the ground and carried him outside. I followed them closely, reassuring John that I was there. They placed him in the backseat of the car. I heard him groan.

The officer turned to me, "Will you be riding with him, ma'am?"

I was about to answer when I was pushed out of the way.

"No, I will. I'm his wife."

Yoko stormed past us and got into the back of the car with John. I was numb. The officer gave me an apologetic look before climbing in the front seat and driving away.

Sobs overtook me as collapsed onto my knees on the pavement. One police officer had stayed, and he walked over to me.

"Ma'am, can I do anything for you?"

I hardly could speak through the sobs, "I promised him. I promised him that I would stay with him."

The officer didn't say a thing. He just stood by to make sure I was okay.

 **11:15 p.m.**

I heard the officers walkie-talkie beep loudly. I looked up, the cold air freezing on my wet cheeks.

"Officer Dean," he answered.

The person's voice on the other line spoke through the static, "Update on your case at West 72nd street."

"Go ahead," the officer spoke.

The static voice came through again with the worse possible news, "Shooting victim DOA at the ER."

I went numb. I couldn't move. The only thing that kept playing over and over in my mind was DOA. DOA. DOA. Dead on Arrival. John. DOA.

 **1:30 a.m.**

My eyes snapped open. I looked around. I was in a hospital room. Suddenly, it all came flooding back to me. John. I fainted by his apartment after I learned the news that I hoped was just a nightmare. Then I remembered the morgue. Someone had taken me down to say goodbye one last time.

"Paul," I whispered.

He was sitting in a chair next to my bed. His eyes shot open, "Sasha, are you okay?"

"I don't know," tears came back to my eyes.

I looked around the room to see Julian sleeping on the window seat. Poor Julian. Tears ran down my cheeks.

"I need to tell you something the nurses told us," Paul spoke quietly.

I closed my eyes, "What?"

"Look at me, Sasha," Paul said, "I'm not sure if you're ready to know. Not after what's happened."

"Just say it, Paul," I demanded.

I held my breath as he took a breath to speak.

 **Author's Note: Thank you so much to everyone who's been reading and voting. This was a difficult chapter for me to write, and I know it's a difficult one for you to read. Please leave comments and let me know what you think.**

 **P.S. This isn't the last chapter ;)**


	99. Chapter 99: Come BackBe Here

**Something**

 **Chapter 99: Come Back...Be Here  
**

 **December 9, 1980  
**

 **Sasha's POV**

Paul looked into my eyes before shifting them to the window seat. I looked in that direction as well. Julian stirred at sat up. He blinked at me. I couldn't read his expression. I wondered what he was thinking about this whole situation. His father, a man he had just gotten close to, gone in a matter of minutes.

"Did you tell her?" Julian asked Paul quietly as he walked to my bed.

Paul sighed and rubbed his forehead, "No, I was about to. I'm not sure if I can do it."

"She has to know, Uncle Paul. The nurses said that we need to tell her everything that's happened," Julian pleaded with him.

I was getting frustrated, so I spoke angrily, "Will you two stop speaking about me like I'm not here? Just tell me what's going on. It can't be worse than what's happened already."

 **Paul's POV**

I cleared my throat and looked at my sister. She looked so lifeless. Her skin had failed to regain it's color. Even now, hours after what had happened. She looked like she had lost weight since the last time I saw her, even though it was probably just an illusion. The doctors and nurses had her hooked up to monitors and IVs because of all the emotional and physical stress she had been through tonight. I couldn't help but stare at her sunken eyes surrounded by bluish skin.

"Tell me," she said through clenched teeth, "What are you even doing in New York anyway? You didn't tell me you were coming?"

"It was supposed to be a surprise today. We flew in yesterday," I explained.

I remembered the phone conversation with John just a week and a half ago. I looked down at Sasha's bare left hand. My eyes glassed over with tears. He didn't ask her. It was too late.

"Paul?" She asked quietly, "What's wrong?"

I sniffled and held back the tears from spilling over, "We flew in yesterday. Linda and the kids are at the Dakota right now watching Sean. Ringo and Barbara are coming this afternoon. They booked a flight as soon as they heard. Cynthia is flying in today as well."

"I don't care about that!" She snapped, "What the hell are you doing here? What's going on?"

I noticed that Julian took a step back in shock as she yelled at me. I knew her emotions were high.

"Okay..." I began to tell her about yesterday as I relived it myself, leaving out John's proposal plans. I didn't want to tell her that yet.

 _After flying into New York in the morning, Linda, the kids, Julian, and I checked into a hotel a couple blocks down from the Dakota. We had come to surprise Sasha the next day at a party that John was throwing for her. He was proposing to her tonight, and I couldn't be more excited for them. I knew this is what they both wanted. I knew this is what the both of them needed to carry on and be happy for the rest of their lives._

I looked at Sasha, coming out of my memories of yesterday, "We arrived yesterday. John wanted us to surprise you. He wanted all of us to hang out. Anyway, I received the call at half eleven."

 _The hotel phone rang, "Hello?"_

 _"Mr. McCartney, this is a nurse at Roosevelt Hospital. We believe that your sister was just brought in by a police officer. We didn't know who else to call," she explained._

 _"Is she alright?" I said, confusion soaking my words._

 _The nurse sighed, "I can't give any details over the phone. She's here in the emergency room."_

 _"Thanks. I'll be right over," I said before hanging up._

 _I explained the phone call to Linda, and Julian insisted on coming with me. This was all wrong. I was so confused. Sasha was supposed to be at her apartment with John._

"Sasha, I walked into the emergency room, and Yoko was there, sitting on the ground. A doctor was crouched near her. She was crying. I didn't know what to think at that point," I paused and tried to read Sasha's expression, "I walked over to her and asked what was going on. The doctor looked up and recognized me. He told me," I paused again, tears coming to my eyes, "He told me what had happened to John. I asked about you immediately. My mind assumed that you had been shot too. The doctor told me what room you were in. I came in and you woke up. You asked to see him. I had to take you. We walked down to the...the morgue, and you went in to say your goodbye. When you came back out, you cried in my arms for awhile, then you passed out again."

 **Sasha's POV**

I looked at my brother. He looked like he hadn't slept in days. Tears had escaped his eyes. I didn't want to think about what had happened a few hours before. He couldn't be gone. He couldn't have left me. Not now. Not when everything was falling into place for certain.

Paul continued speaking, "When they brought you in, you were in shock. They said that your blood pressure was so low, they couldn't even read it the first time. You had hypothermia. Why weren't you wearing a coat, Sasha?"

I choked out tears, "I gave it to John. He was cold."

Paul's tears ran down his cheeks faster, "You were with him?"

"He told me to meet him at the Dakota. I got there right after," I was sobbing, thinking of John lying there, "There was so much blood, Paul, I...I held him. He told me that he was so scared. I promised him that I would stay with him," then my words turned to anger, "Yoko pushed me out of the way and rode with him in the police car. I promised him I would be there with him until the end. I promised him."

I looked over at Julian, who was still standing at my bedside, and tears were streaming down his cheeks.

My eyes got wide as I remembered something, "Paul, where's my purse? Give me my purse."

"Your purse? Why?" Paul asked.

Julian walked over to the other side of the room. He handed me my purse. I had to know why John had wanted me to keep his wallet. What did he have in there that he didn't want Yoko to keep from me? I grabbed his wallet out of my purse. Paul and Julian were watching me intently as I shook all of the contents of it out on my bed.

"Sasha, what are you...?" Paul asked.

His voice trailed off as I found something shiny in the pile of cash. I held it in my fingers. A ring. It looked familiar.

I stared at it, "Did you know about this?"

Paul touched my arm, "I'm sorry Sasha. He was going to ask you after you two decorated your tree."

I couldn't help the tears that had once again started flowing. It would have been real tonight. Our future would have been made real.

"It was my grandmothers," Julian croaked out through tears, "Dad said she gave it to him a few months before she died and made him promise her that he would only give it to you."

"It's the ring he was going to use in LA as well, Sasha," Paul added, wiping his face.

"Julia," I whispered.

Paul grabbed my hand, "He's with her now."

My eyes clouded up again. I slipped the ring on my finger. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. John was supposed to be here with me.

Julian cleared his throat, "Tell her, Uncle Paul."

I looked at Paul again through teary eyes.

"Sasha, I'm so sorry," he started, "The doctor and nurses think...well, they know actually."

"What?" I breathed out. I closed my eyes. I had a feeling I knew what was going to come out of Paul's mouth, but I wasn't prepared.

"You're pregnant," he breathed out.

"No," I whispered, "no, no, no. John has to be here with me. No, please, no."

I couldn't breathe. My sobs were coming on strong. I was choking on tears. Julian sat down beside me and brought me into his arms.

"Shh," he rubbed my back, "It'll be okay."

"No," I sobbed.

I held on tightly to him. The sobs were shaking my body so violently. I couldn't do this alone. I needed John here with me. It wasn't real. It was just a nightmare. It couldn't be real.


	100. Chapter 100: If This Was a Movie

**Something**

 **Chapter 100: If This Was a Movie  
**

 **December 9, 1980  
**

 **Paul's POV**

"I'm worried about her," Julian whispered.

I looked up at him. He was sitting on the edge of Sasha's bed stroking her arm. She had been asleep now for hours. After she calmed down enough, she fell right to sleep. The sun was now high in the sky. It was shining through the edges of the closed curtains. It was still shocking what had happened. I'm not sure if I would ever come to to terms with it. John was supposed to be here. He was always supposed to be just a phone call away. I sighed.

"It's going to take awhile for her to get over this," I told Julian.

I was dreading the coming years actually. Sasha wouldn't take this well, but she needed to be strong. She needed to be there for Dhani and this new baby no matter how hard it gets.

Julian wiped a tear that had escaped from his eye, "I wish she would move to England for awhile. You know, just so she's close to everyone and not all alone in New York."

"Julian, I wish she would to, but she's stubborn. I wouldn't suggest that just yet. It might upset her."

He looked down at her sleeping form. Julian's always admired her. When John and Sasha were together back in the sixties, he would tell me all the time in his little four-year-old voice that he wanted Sasha to be his mummy. Even as a child, he saw how happy John was around her. That memory sparked thousands of others. John was practically my older brother. I looked up to him. Without him, my life would be completely different. Tears came to my eyes.

"Julian," I said, "I'm going to take a walk."

Julian nodded as I left the room. The tears streamed down my face as I walked to the end of the corridor. I looked out the window at the front of the hospital to see reporters everywhere. I still couldn't believe this had happened. I wanted John to say my name and have me turn around to him smirking and saying some witty remark about how he narrowly escaped death.

"Paul?" I heard a soft female voice call my name instead.

I turned to find Cynthia there, "Cyn, you made it."

She brought me into a hug, "I just arrived and came straight here. I can't believe this has happened. How's Sasha?"

I sighed, "Not good."

"Poor thing. Julian told me John was going to propose to her last night. Did he get to?"

"No, it happened before," I told her. I paused, "I don't want this to be real, Cyn."

Her eyes became glassy, "I don't either. It's surreal. He wasn't someone that was ever going to just vanish. That stubborn man."

We stared at each other for a long time. I wondered if she was doing the same as me, going through thousands of memories in a matter of minutes with John.

"How's Julian holding up?" Cynthia asked me, bringing me out of a memory.

I forced a small grin, "Actually, he holding up well. He hasn't left Sasha's side. He's worried about her."

She sighed, "He's loves her a lot. He's been rooting for her and John ever since LA. He saw how happy John was when he was with her."

My gaze focused on a couple fast-walking down the corridor to me. As they got closer, I realized that it was Ringo and Barbara.

"Rich," I breathed out, "Cyn just got here as well. Hello, Barbara."

"Hey, Paul," Ringo stated, "Can we see Sasha?"

"She's sleeping now," I explained, "There's something you all should know before you speak to her. I just want you to be aware that the nurses found out that she's pregnant. I told her already. She didn't take it well. John didn't know either."

Cynthia gasped and wiped a tear away, "Poor girl. I'll have to speak with her later."

I started walking down the corridor with the three of them following me. I hated the fact that we were all together because of this. I was hoping to wake up any second.

 **Sasha's POV**

My eyes opened slowly. Everything was blurry at first. My heart picked up at the sight of the figure above me.

"John?"

"It's me, Sasha. It's Julian," he said.

Julian came into focus as my vision was restored. I looked at him for a long while. It wasn't a nightmare. John was actually gone.

"How are you feeling?" Julian asked, his hand was holding mine.

I looked around the room, "I don't know. I was hoping that I would wake up and it wouldn't be real."

Julian nodded. I heard the door creak open and shifted my gaze.

Paul's head peaked in, "You're awake. Do you feel like having company?"

I shrugged. I didn't care at this point who came or went. Paul opened the door wider and Ringo and his fiance Barbara entered the room. I was glad to see them. I just wish it was under different circumstances. Cynthia entered the room after them.

"Mum," Julian said, standing and hugging her close.

"Hey, Sasha," Ringo sniffled, "Is there anything Barbara and I can do for you?"

I could tell he had been crying, but he was also probably shocked at my appearance. Paul had told me last night that I looked like I was very sick. He explained that nurses said that I looked like I had been in the hospital for weeks.

I shook my head, "No, I...I'm just glad to see you."

Tears came to my eyes now. Ringo sat down on the edge of my bed and hugged me close to him.

"Thank you, Ringo," I cried, "You've always been so sweet to me through everything. I don't deserve to have a friend like you."

He pulled away and looked into my eyes, "Sasha, you are the strongest person I know. You can get through this. John would want you to."

I nodded and more tears spilled down my cheeks. Ringo brought me into a hug again. I wished it was John holding me. I heard a knock on the door and looked to find that a nurse had walked in. Ringo pulled away from our hug.

She talked to Paul, "Mr. McCartney, Mrs. Lennon's out here in the hall. She wants to talk to you."

I became more upset at the mention of Yoko as Mrs. Lennon. It was never supposed to be like this. Paul gave me a sympathetic look.

"We'll go with Paul as well, and leave you and Cynthia to talk," Ringo said, "Come on, Julian."

I watched as everyone left the room but Cynthia. Julian was more reluctant to leave. He looked back at me a few times for closing the door behind him.

Cynthia sat down on my bed, "I don't even know what to say, Sasha. We shouldn't be meeting like this."

I looked at her, "Cyn," I said, tears spilling over, "They told me that I'm pregnant."

"Paul told me," she said.

Tears were streaming down my face now. I was surprised that I even had any tears left to cry, "I don't know what to do. John has to be here with me. I can't do this alone. I need him. We were finally going to make it. It's not fair. What did I do to deserve this?"

Cynthia brought me into a hug, her soft voice soothing me, "Sometimes things happen that no one has any idea why or how. You are an incredible woman. John loved you so much. You know he would want you to be strong. You are an amazing mother to Dhani and even Julian. I know that this baby will be no different. I think you are being given this baby for a reason, Sasha. It's going to be a daily reminder of the love that you and John had between you. A love so strong that it created a baby. It's not a horrible thing at all. I think this is supposed to be a light in the darkness."

I sniffled through my sobs, "I always wanted to be a little bit more like you, Cynthia. You're always so kind to everyone, and I..."

Paul opened the door, "Sasha?"

I looked up at him.

He sighed and came into the room, closing the door behind him, "Yoko's made arrangements for John's body."


	101. Chapter 101: Isolation

**Something**

 **Chapter 101: Isolation**

 **December 9, 1980**

 **Sasha's POV**

I took a deep breath. I didn't even want to ask Paul what Yoko's plans were for John. I knew they would be all wrong, but she was still legally his wife, and she would be making all of the decisions.

"What are the arrangements?" Cynthia asked for me.

Paul shut the door and walked over to sit on the other side of the bed, "John never made end-of-life plans in his will. It's entirely Yoko's decision. The coroner is coming in a few hours to take him. Yoko doesn't want a funeral. They're going to cremate him."

It was a never ending nightmare, "No, she can't do that."

"Sasha, I'm sorry, she's still his wife. John left everything up to her if something happened to him. She has a copy of his will in her hand," Paul explained.

I started crying again. When were the tears going to stop?

"She can't do this. John wouldn't want this. He wanted to be in Liverpool next to Julia. That's what he wanted," I buried my face in my hands.

"She's telling the truth, you know," Cynthia spoke up, "Back in the sixties, after Julian was born, Mimi made John make a will in case something happened. Those were his wishes back then, and I doubt anything had changed. He wanted to be next to Julia."

I looked up as Paul shook his head, "I'm sorry. There's nothing we can do. It's whatever Yoko wants now. She did say that anyone who wants to say goodbye before the coroner takes his body can. She's taken Ringo and Barbara down already."

"I can't see him like that," Cynthia said, "I'll just stay here."

The door opened, and Julian walked in, "Does Sasha want to go?"

All eyes turned to me. Paul told me that I had already said my goodbyes, but I hardly remembered it. It would be the last time that I would see his body.

"I need to see him one last time," I said, quietly.

"Julian?" Paul said, "Are you sure you want to go with her?"

Julian nodded without a word. Paul helped me out of bed. It was the first time I think I had been out of bed since being here. I wheeled my IV bags beside me. Julian grabbed my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine. We walked out of the room and down the hall to the elevators. The elevator ride was silent between us. It stopped at the bottom floor. We walked forward to see a couple of nurses standing at the steel door at the end of the hallway. Barbara was standing with them. She gave me a weak smile as we approached. One of the nurses nodded at us and opened the door, the cold air making me shiver in just my hospital gown.

When we walked in, the door shut behind us. Ringo was standing over him. There was man in the corner that I didn't recognize talking to Yoko, the last person I wanted to see.

"Dad?" Julian whispered from beside me.

I looked at him. He had gone completely white at the sight of John lying there on the table, covered up to the shoulders in a sheet. Tears were streaming down Julian's face.

"It's okay," I whispered.

Julian looked at me with scared eyes, "I don't think I can look at him."

"Do you need to leave?" I asked, searching his eyes.

Julian shook his head, "I want to be here for you."

I walked closer to John with Julian right behind me. It was as much of a shock seeing him now then when I arrived at the Dakota. Ringo wrapped his arm around me.

"It doesn't feel real," he said as we looked down at him.

There was a chair by the table. I sat down. My movements were slow. I felt like I was in some kind of nightmare. I grabbed his cold hand from under the sheet. I brought it to my mouth and kissed it softly. I knew everyone was watching, even Yoko.

"I miss you," I whispered, moving back some hair that had fallen in his face, "I miss you so much. I don't know how to go on."

Ringo patted my back as I started to get emotional. Julian was now standing across from me on the other side of the table staring in shock.

I leaned into him. I kissed his cheek, then whispered in his ear, "I need you now more than ever. The nurses told me I'm pregnant," I sniffled as the tears came on strong, "I'm having your baby, John. I wish you were here to be with me. I don't know if I can do it alone."

Julian was trying to hold in his sobs, "Goodbye dad."

He gave me a sympathetic look before leaving the room. I knew it would be to hard for him to see his father like that.

I continued to speak to John when the door closed, Ringo's hand still on my back, "I'm sorry I couldn't be with you at the end, John. You must've been so scared. I love you so much."

I buried my head next to his on the table. I breathed in. Gone was the smell of him. It was replaced by the antiseptic smell of the sterile environment. My thoughts turned to that night. Anger boiled inside of me.

I raised my head of and looked straight at Yoko, "You bitch!"

"Sasha," Ringo snapped.

I stood from my chair, "I promised him that I would be with him until the end. You pushed me away! He didn't even want to be with you anymore," I walked toward her.

Ringo tried to stop me my grabbing my arm, but I yelled at him, "Let me go."

Yoko was shocked, her eyes wide as saucers and rimmed with tears.

"And now, John's dead and gone, and you're still making decisions for him. He had a mind of his own, Yoko. He doesn't even want what you're doing to him. He wanted to be buried in Liverpool next to Julia, his mother," I pointed my finger at her, "You don't know John at all."

"He was my husband for eleven years! I think I know my husband," she snapped back at me.

"No, you know him as the John that you created. You brainwashed him. You made him into something he wasn't. You have no idea who he is," I cried out.

Yoko scoffed at me, "You're just jealous."

"Excuse me? I'm jealous of you?"

Yoko looked me straight in the eyes, "Yes, you're jealous because John got bored with you and left you for me. You're jealous because your little teenage fantasy didn't come true of getting John back and marrying him. You're jealous because I was his wife and all you are is the other woman."

"You think he still loved you?" I snapped back at her, "He was divorcing you in '74. He had the papers signed. The only thing that kept him around after that was you threatening him to take away Sean. He was going to divorce you in five days and be done with it. He was going to propose to me last night, so we could go on being happy together. I'm sick."

Yoko looked at me in confused way.

"I'm sick because I know that now that John's gone and he can't stand up for himself, you're going to make yourself seem like the poor, loving wife. You're going to make me seem like the other woman when really it was you that was the other woman. He didn't love you anymore. He was moving on."

Tears streamed down my face as I turned from her. I walked back over to John. Ringo was watching me intently. I leaned down and kissed his cold lips. I pulled away. I was hoping my some miracle that he would kiss me back, and I would feel those sparks that I felt every time since our first kiss when we were so young.

"Goodbye John," I whispered, "I'm sorry I couldn't be your voice against her. I love you."

I walked out of the room, never to see John again.


	102. Chapter 102: Blow Away

**Something**

 **Chapter 102: Blow Away**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **May 28, 1981**

The warm summer breeze was fading along with the sun. Central Park was growing eerily quiet at this dusky hour. The coolness of night rustled the leaves in the trees. I sat on a bench across from West 72nd Street, across from the Dakota. I came here everyday around this time of afternoon ever since winter turned to spring. I didn't care for being cramped up in my apartment, especially now that I was alone. Ever since that night in December, I hadn't slept well. As my head would hit the pillow and my eyes would close, visions of my final few minutes with John would dance in my head. An overwhelming depression consumed me. I was getting a little happier day by day.

I looked down at my growing abdomen. Afterall, this baby had been the one thing to keep me going. I had to be a mother for this baby because it didn't have a father now. I wiped a tear from my cheek as I thought about how happy John would've have been when we would've found out that we were expecting together.

I was so thankful to have so many wonderful people in my life, but they have all gone back to their homes now that I was doing well enough to stay on my own. Julian ended up staying with me until February. He was so worried about me, and I appreciated him being around. Now, he's gone back to England to pursue his music career and follow in his father's footsteps. Paul, Linda, my nieces, and nephew stayed through Christmas and well into January. When Julian left in February, my two best friends in the entire world came to live with me for a couple months, Maureen and Jane. I was well enough at that point to reminisce with them and share memories of John. Although it still hurt to talk and think about him, it did me well instead of painfully keeping it hidden deep inside of me. John was an enormous part of life. I loved him. He was one of the loves of my life, the father of this tiny fetus growing inside of me. I couldn't just forget about the life we had together. I did have a lot of regrets about our relationship through the years, however, I am learning to come to terms with them and be thankful for the time that we did have to ourselves. I still couldn't understand why he was taken from me just as we were about to start our forever together.

I stared across the street at the entrance of the Dakota. I looked both ways down the footpath here in the park. John loved New York. He loved it even when I first brought him here when we were teenagers that were crazy in love. He felt safe here. It wasn't fair what happened to him. A pain in my chest made me uncomfortable as I thought about what Yoko did after his death. She was still legally his wife, so there was nothing I could do to fight against her wishes. There was no funeral for John. A beautiful man like him deserved more than nothing. She had him cremated and wouldn't tell anyone what she did with his ashes. I frowned and tears came to my eyes. Not only did she not honor what John's real wishes would've been, but she completely neglected Julian, making me completely look down on her as a person. She didn't give Julian any of the money that John would've liked for him to have or any of his personal possessions that meant a lot to Julian. She ignored the two of us like we weren't even a part of John's life. All I had from him was his wallet, some of his shirts that he left at my house, one of his guitars, and Julia's ring. I looked down at it. I decided to wear it on my right hand. I would never ever take it off.

"Mummy!" I heard a child yell in a British accent. I looked up.

Dhani ran in front of the bench I was sitting on and leaped into my arms, "Dhani! Oh my goodness. I've missed you so much. I love you so much."

Tears streamed down my face as I held my almost six-year-old son. I'm not sure how he got here, but I didn't care. I hadn't seen him since he last visited. In fact, I hadn't heard from George after Dhani's last visit. I was expecting a call or something when John was killed, but there had been nothing.

"I'm sorry about John," Dhani said, "I loved him too, and I'll miss him."

I smiled at him, "A lot of people will miss John, darling, but I think I'll miss him most of all."

"Daddy has missed you mummy," Dhani said shyly.

As he was getting older, he started to understand more that George and I weren't together anymore.

I heard someone clear their throat from behind me. I turned my head to look behind me. There he was. I couldn't tell you the last time I had seen him in person. He looked handsome. I had missed him. I had once loved George. I wasn't sure if I was still in love with him or not. He had betrayed me, but that didn't stop my love for him. In fact, at the time, I thought our marriage was going well despite George being busy with his record label.

"Hello, darling," he spoke softly, "You look beautiful."

I didn't say anything. I didn't really know what to say to him, especially after what's happened. I heard the grass crunch under his feet as he walked around to sit beside me on the bench.

He looked at Dhani, "Why don't you go play over there where I can still see you whilst mummy and I talk?"

"Okay daddy," Dhani said before hopping off of my lap and running to the nearest tree to play.

When Dhani moved from my lap, George's eyes got wide, "You're pregnant?!"

"No one has told you?" I asked him.

George placed his hand on my swollen abdomen, "No, Paul didn't mention when I talked to him. Did John know?"

"No," I looked at the ground, "I found out at the hospital after John died."

"I'm so sorry, Sasha," George grabbed my hand, "I couldn't believe it when I heard. I was out in Hawaii, and I just sat in shock for the longest time. You don't ever think something like that will happen to one of your best mates."

I scoffed, "Were you there with Olivia?"

George smirked at me, "Would it make you jealous?"

I shot him a look.

"No," he said, "Actually, I broke up with Olivia a year ago. John was right, you know. Once someone falls in love with you, Sasha, they're never getting out. I thought about you all the time when I was with her, and that's not fair to her. By that time, however, you were so involved with John that it was too late for me. I talked to him back when you two were in Bermuda. That was the last time I spoke with him. He asked me if it was alright if he married you. He didn't want me to hate him or anything. I gave him my blessing to ask you even though it hurt like hell."

"Well, you'll be happy to know that he never got a chance to ask me because he got shot," I spit back at him.

George's thumb stroked my hand, "I was happy for you two, honestly. I knew that you loved him, Sasha. I knew that you were each other's first love. You never get over your first love, darling, especially when it's you."

Silence surrounded us along with the crickets chirping. I looked into George's deep, chocolate brown eyes. They were always mysterious to me.

"Was I your first love, George?"

He nodded his head slowly, "You know you were. In fact, I've realized that you're the only woman I've ever loved."

I couldn't help but blush. George always knew what to say, but it didn't matter now. I was still mad at him.

"Where have you been then, George?" I snapped at him, "I've been moping around, depressed and alone, and it seems that you've forgotten about me. I was at least expecting a letter or call. I wanted to see Dhani. I could've have been killed too, George, and I wouldn't have gotten to see my son one last time."

"Sasha, I was just giving you time," George tried to explain, "I didn't want you to be overwhelmed."

I sniffled and tears escaped my eyes once more, "All John wanted to do was tuck his son in before he came to spend the evening with me, and he was shot for it. Why? Why did this happen, George?"

George brought me into his arms and rubbed my back gently. He comforted me in silence in the way that he always has. He smelled so familiar. I had missed his smell. It was of sandalwood, peppermint, and cigarettes.

I pulled away from him, "I'm leaving now George. I'm taking Dhani with me back to my apartment. I want him to stay with me for at least a month. I've got clothes for him there. Don't follow me because I won't let you in. You hurt me, George, and I can't make the same mistakes I did with John. I would rather we just stay apart," I stood from the bench.

He stood up to face me, tears shining in his eyes, "I love you, darling. I always have and I always will. I won't be like John. I won't chase you down until you give in. Just know that I will be here for you whenever you need me."

"Goodbye George," I turned from him, "Come on, Dhani, you're staying with me for awhile."

Dhani grabbed my hand as we began to walk along the dirt footpath to the subway station.

I kept walking, but I felt him turn to glance behind, "Bye, Daddy! See you soon!"


	103. Chapter 103: The Long and Winding Road

**Author's Note: I cannot believe I'm typing this right now. This is the last chapter of Something. I hope you enjoy it.  
**

 **Something**

 **Chapter 103: The Long and Winding Road**

 **Sasha's POV  
**

 **October 9, 1981**

I looked at the white house through the taxi window. I couldn't believe that I had ventured all the way here. I hadn't been here since '68 probably. I hadn't seen her in that long.

"Miss?" The taxi driver looked back at me, "That'll be seven pound fifty."

I reached into my purse and pulled out a ten pound note and handed it to him, "Keep the change."

"Thanks miss," he smiled, "Do you need help with your bag?"

"No, I'm fine, thank you," I replied.

I reached across the baby carrier that was strapped in and opened the door. The cool, autumn breeze from outside hit me in the face. I wrapped the strap of my bag around my shoulder and unbuckled the baby carrier. I scooted my way out of the taxi and shut the door behind me. I watched as he drove away.

It was early here. I had caught the first train here this morning since flying into London yesterday. The fog was rolling off the sea behind the row of houses in front of me. There was salt in the air as I breathed in. I thought of him bringing me here for the first time, proud of the new beach house he had bought for one of the most important women in his life the year before. Today would've been his forty first birthday, and myself, even at forty, couldn't fathom where the years had gone. He wanted to come back to England this year for the sole purpose of doing what I was doing today. He also wanted to show the kids Liverpool and take them up to Scotland. We would've been married. I felt tears sting my eyes, but I held them back. I had to be strong today. For John.

I walked up to the front door and timidly knocked. I don't know why I was nervous to see her. A woman that once didn't get along with me very well had grown to be very important to me. Maybe I was nervous to show her the baby.

The door creaked open to reveal a small, older woman, still with the same jet black hair, "Sasha?"

"Mimi," I breathed out, "I missed you."

She stared at me for a few moments, then opened the door wider, "Come in out of the cold."

I followed her inside. This house wasn't as familiar as Mendips, of course, but she had kept most of the same furniture from Liverpool. It was decorated the same way, which made it feel almost as familiar. I followed her into the living room, where I sat on the sofa across from the fireplace.

"Tea?" Mimi raised an eyebrow at me.

I smiled softly at her, "Yes, thank you."

She left the room and disappeared to make some tea for us. I reached down into the baby carrier and picked up the tiny six week old little girl. She was born in late August back in New York. Cynthia, Maureen, and Julian had come to stay with me the last couple weeks of my pregnancy, so I didn't have to give birth alone. I had to decided to come to England, so she could meet Mimi and Mimi could meet her. She was beautiful. Every time I looked at her, she reminded me of my love for John. The love we shared together for all those years did have something good come out of it. I just desperately wished that she could've known her father.

Mimi walked back in the room and handed me a cup of steaming tea, "Sasha, is this your baby?"

"She is," I replied, sipping my tea.

Mimi had a confused look on her face as she sat down in her recliner. She set her cup of tea down on a round table next to it. I noticed a picture of John there. In fact, that's when I noticed all the pictures of John in the living room, most of them crowding the mantel. I looked back at Mimi. She motioned for me to hand her the baby girl that was quietly cooing in my arms.

I watched as Mimi held her. She studied my baby's face staring back at her.

I noticed the realization that was suddenly plastered on her face, "Sasha, this is..."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't. I felt tears sting my eyes again. I wanted John to be here with me whilst the baby met Mimi.

"She's John's," Mimi breathed out, tears streaming down her cheeks, "She looks like him and like Julia. She's got your beautiful blue eyes though."

I wiped some tears from my face, "I wanted you to meet her, Mimi."

"John would've been so in love with her," her voice was almost a whisper through the tears, "Did he know about her?"

"No," I frowned, "I found out the day after, but I'd rather not talk about that time now. She's a reminder of mine and John's love. I'm just so sad she'll never get to meet him."

Mimi closed her eyes, tears still cascading, "I miss him calling me every week."

I didn't say anything. I was crying as well. I thought I could be strong, but seeing Mimi crying was too overwhelming. I'm not sure I had ever seen her cry before.

"I miss him too," I agreed, "I would give anything for him to be beside me now."

"What's her name?" Mimi looked up at me.

I smiled, "Elizabeth. After you. Her middle name is Julia, of course."

Mimi smiled and looked down at her, cooing at her. I saw little Elizabeth smile back at Mimi.

She looked back up at me, "He was going to ask you to marry him, you know?"

"Yes," I said, "He didn't get a chance to, but I'm wearing the ring that was in his wallet on my right hand. It was Julia's."

She glanced at my right hand and nodded, "I remember when Julia gave that to him. He ran in the house at Mendips so excited. He said he was going to ask you then," she laughed, "I scolded him and said, 'John you've got nowhere to live, no steady job, and no money. How on Earth are you going to get married?'"

I smiled too and remembered what John was like in those days. We were just seventeen and crazy. Running wild around Liverpool so in love beyond our years. I missed those days.

Silence happened for awhile. I think we were both thinking about memories with John, wishing he was here to reminisce as well.

She looked up at me, "You know, there's another man in this country that loves you very much. He came to see me a couple months ago."

I gasped, "George came to see you?"

"Yes," she snickered, "He was just checking up on me. I thought it was funny. I never really cared for him back in Liverpool because I couldn't believe that John was friends with a teddy boy from a low class neighborhood like Speke. Anyway, we talked about you. He still loves you. He misses you. I think that John's death made him realize that he shouldn't wait around and take things for granted."

"I can't go back to him, Mimi," I said, "He'll just hurt me again."

"I don't think he will," she shot back, "You need him now more than ever, Sasha. This little girl here needs some kind of father figure. Her older brother will just adore her as well."

I should listen to her. Mimi always knew what to say. She always had advice, and she was usually right. The conversation moved on from George to different things, but I couldn't get him out of my mind.

Soon, I was waving from a taxi window at Mimi on her front porch. When I got to the train station, I endured a long train ride to London. I sat in the train station in London for awhile, contemplating what to do next with my life. So, I got a taxi to take me away from London and up a familiar and haunting long and winding road. The grounds were still immaculate. The sun was starting to set. The driver pulled up to the front door. I paid him and gathered my belongings. I sat Elizabeth, who was sound asleep in her carrier, down beside my feet when I got to the front door.

I knocked. It opened, and I was met with a familiar face. I almost had to take a step back. He had shaved off the mustache he sported the last time I saw him. He looked as young as he did the first time I fell in love with him.

"Sasha," he breathed out in the perfect accent that I had missed so much.

"George," I blurted out, "I miss you. I need you," I pathetically admitted.

He brought me into his arms there at the front door of Friar Park, "It's alright."

I had begun to cry into his neck, making his shirt wet. This day had been so overwhelming, but somehow, as I stood here in George's arms, I knew things could finally work out for the better.

"I love you. I'll always love you," he whispered in my ear, "Always, darling."

 **Author's Note: What did you guys think of the ending? Thank you so much for everyone who has supported this story. It means so much to me that I've gotten the feedback that I have. I enjoy reading your comments a lot because I love the feeling I get when people interact with my writing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! Would you guys want to do one of those Q &A things that I've seen other writers do with their stories?**

 **Sequel? I think so...**


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